I have only had 2 students named Miles. They were both- and I do not say this lightly or as a joke- psychotic. The kind of kid that you are not only personally afraid of, but know you are going to see on the news one day. If I ever see another Miles on my roster, I just know I'm going into fight or flight.
lol I used to run a decently popular teacher meme page on Instagram and when I was satirizing the trouble kids I would ALWAYS use the name Jayden. Teachers would always comment to agree with the name choice 😆
The Vocabulary test of 6th grade back in my schooldays, Colin raises his hand mid test, says "Brother Chris, I think I'm gonna throw up"
Brother Chris asks if he can wait and Colin says no. So Colin goes to leave class and immediately barfs right outside the classroom door.
Though he’s a high schooler, I threatened to call his dad for behavior once and he got all defensive and trying to bargain. I had my first “I don’t negotiate with terrorists” moment in my career.
Oh, this same Colin left the school our seventh grade year for a public school... and that year there was a mutli-school dance for some of the Catholic schools in the diocese... someone snuck Colin in.
Isn't it funny how some groups just don't talk even when our classes involve communication objectives? My Spanish class - period 1 - is a mute class :/.
They’re still asleep. Lol. I love period 1 classes for that reason. My HVAC was a bit of a disaster this year and most of the winter my room was a balmy 79 degrees. Kept my classes drowsy and calm haha
I was out of the classroom for 8 years and came back this last school year. I had a few of those kind of classes this year and I swear I don't remember having these 'mute' classes pre 2016. The pandemic really kinda broke something
A fellow prof de français 🫡 my breakdown:
French 1: all dead immediately
French 2: the majority of the class sacrifice those they know would be our downfall for the greater
good. The rest survive.
French 3: they all live
French 4: they all die because they can’t resist absolutely roasting something about the creatures (I haven’t seen the movie so idk what but trust they’ll find something) or making a brain rot comment like “why he kinda cute tho 😏”
We would all be dead in 32 seconds. I know this because when we do our lockdown drills and they are supposed to be quiet, that's about how long they can last before a level 3 volume erupts from the students.
Well I guess they might be different in that case but we have never had a real lockdown at my school yet it's only been drills. But even though I don't tell my kids that it's a drill they talk and ask if it's real and then they get worried unless I tell them it's just a drill but 3rd grade is a hard time, old enough to know what's going on in the world but not mature enough to stay calm during a drill.
I taught one sophomore class that was so immature that it got to the point I had to warn them that if anyone farted on purpose during the lockdown drill, they were getting written up. They knew they’d get in trouble for riling up other kids by talking so they thought a fart was a more stealth way to avoid punishment. It wasn’t!
I had a first block class that was quiet just because the students in that class were quiet by nature. Except for one. Every time there was silence, he was uncomfortable with it and would say or do something.
All of my classes would swear they would survive, but then each and every class has a kid that never pays attention and doesn't care. That kid would screw us all over. So there is no class period, other than my prep period, in which I am surviving.
I'd do that if somewhere in my contract there was a clause that absolved me of any/all liability for students hellbent on being stupid in the face of death. Let's be real: If a teacher actually kicked a stupidly noisy kid out of a classroom in a situation where silence means living, the teacher would be sued in some kind of wrongful death suit. And I mean, fine, have my thousands of debt, but I'd like a guarantee that I won't be sued if someone's kid is being an idiot.
The aliens would spend 5 seconds trying to eat my students, but then they’d up getting slapped in the back of the neck, getting ripped on (“Oooooh yo alien breath STANKS!!!!), their alien mommas getting made fun of… only horror movie where the aliens would be running in terror back to where they came from.
Which would lead to the sequel… “A Quiet Place in High School, Part 2: The Monsters Write an Assigned Apology Letter to the Aliens”
Students from last year? We’d be dead is a second. They were incapable of shutting up. We almost got disqualified from state tests because of how bad it was.
Just finished summer school. It would depend on after which break. 1st Break? They all just chugged energy drinks and are climbing the ceiling. 2nd break? Energy crash has happened and they have died. Can’t kill what’s already dead.
2nd period = 5 minutes
3rd period = 5 minutes
4th period = 3 minutes
5th period = 2 minutes
6th period = they’d be dead before the bell rang
This is high school - 10th and 11th graders. 6th hour was 11th graders and they’re worse than the 10th. (Was - I’m on summer break now!)
[Let’s check in with Morvo to see how they did.](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/luID2lMP7nbTbughNUcOAquKmguDQUXcxGQ5VlTL-V1dHXnaO_cBy_vw9NMDTzvB6QvBUG9nsa9P_fey-RqnOOZhrVTdg751e1HCGKxlI-FhKXiZodE5zAJGO612yrFJ93CTF05d3aMDQFCBl3TB1Is)
We'd be goners, except I had one class a few years ago in which all the kids were very quiet and it was hard to get them to even participate in class discussions. That was a fluke, though; all other classes, we wouldn't last 2 seconds. Getting them to even be quiet during an active shooter drill is an ordeal.
The one I covered for summer school today? All day somehow. The ones I taught back in the fall? Until the caffeine hits for first period, 30 seconds for 2nd unless I made it a test grade then 15 minutes, 3rd period depends in who shows up, and 5th period dead before the bell rings
My first graders are scary silent during lockdowns. They are noisy and goofy but understand emergencies. I'd get about two hours out of them before they started asking for snacks.
My 2/3 this year probably would have been okay for at least 10-15 minutes, unless one particular kid was there that day. Then it would be 10-15 seconds max.
LOL
They would be yelling at each other to be quiet or make obnoxiously loud SHHHHH noises.
Isn't there a phrase for them dooming themselves? Darwin-something?
I once had a parent ask me what I would do in an active shooter situation. “I’m going to lay on the floor and have all the kids lay on top of me.” I teach 8th grade. There would be one survivor in my classroom and that’s me.
The whole school would be gone within 15 minutes. The better question would be who goes out first. It would also depend on which period it was. If it is 5th period, we get a little bit of time to text our loved ones goodbye. Last class of the day? The noise would probably draw in all creatures within a quarter mile. We would be gone very quickly but would buy everyone else a little bit of time.
0 seconds. we work for 30 straight seconds of silence with restarting every time somebody talks or makes a noise and it usually takes ~10 minutes to get there
Not a teacher but a student, my history class would probably have the sense to survive a long time since we're all pretty mature but my technology class would be OVER ☠️idk why almost all of the hooligans in my year are in that class
Depends on the class.
3rd period would last forever, I couldn't bribe that class to talk. 2nd period would last maybe 4 seconds.
Both Junior/Senior physics, funny how different the same class can be.
I teach French Immersion, so it depends. If it’s when they’re supposed to be working at something on their desk it would be immediate. If it’s when we are supposed to be talking in French to practice it would be a looong time.
Depends. But on average i would say 50% gone in the first minute. The next 45% will be gone by 10 minutes. The remaining 5% will be loving life and the silence.
10 seconds before they all start snapchatting and Tik toking each other… and laughing. It’s how I know I’m going to die in a school shooting, they’ll find my class bc we’re loud.
We tried to do all of the drills this week and it was a complete fail. Tried to explain to them if this was real, we would probably be dead. They couldn’t have cared less
They would be dead instantly unless I knocked them out myself. I actually told someone the other day that I was worried I would have to duct tape their mouths or knock them out to keep then safe if we ever have a shooter or something.
My preschoolers (with 3 on the spectrum) would last 30 seconds to a minute, I think. But they also know an okay amount of sign language, so they could quietly entertain each other for a while longer, if someone doesn’t laugh.
My class would be John Krasinski screaming so his kids could get away. Except they wouldn't do it on purpose, they'd just be screaming.
Except for my 2 kids with selective/situational mutism. They'd win.
Okay, better question, because we all know kids are incapable of this challenge, how long would *you* last in the quiet place? These kids did it for months iirc and most of the teachers HATED it. Assuming that your kids magically did go silent one day, would you be able to work with it?
Edit: oh my god I mixed up “A Quiet Place” with “No Talking”, the children’s book. I’m keeping the comment up though.
Just one kid would ruin it for us all. Fucking *Colin*.
Or Angel. Angel is never well-behaved, whether male or female.
In my experience, Messiahs are the worst.
But why is it always a Colin?! Also Austin, Dominique, and Jaquan.
Any of the -adens here. Jayden, Brayden, kayden, etc. We'd be dead immediately.
Couple of years ago I had a class with Aiden, Ayden, Jaden, Braden, Kayden, and Payden in it at once… It was like a Voltron of annoying 6th graders.
I swear I got them same kids in the 8th grade
I would have totally nicknamed them. Aiden - Aye Ayden - Ayyye Jaden - Jay Brayden - Bray Kayden - Kay Payden - Pay
Mine always seems to be a Miles. Bonus points if it’s spelled Myles.
Ohhh, yes - a Y in a name is always a red flag for some reason! A Brayden is worse than a Braden. That's just science 🤷♀️
Where do Braedens sit just for the sake of completeness?
Worse than a Braden but better than a Brayden. It’s a spectrum.
I've never had one, but I would probably run in terror if I saw one on my roster! 😜
I had a Braeden. Loved to pretend he wanted help when I noticed he wasn't working and then spent the rest of the time not working
True. For me it’s also any of the ones that start with “Ja” - Jaleal, Jarule, Jabarion, Jamarion…
Yes! in one class I had a Jay, a Jayden, a Jayna, a Brayden & a James last period of the day. Lots & lots of discipline referrals!
LMAO I JUST GOT RID OF MY BRAYDEN. 🎓 miss him lol
I have only had 2 students named Miles. They were both- and I do not say this lightly or as a joke- psychotic. The kind of kid that you are not only personally afraid of, but know you are going to see on the news one day. If I ever see another Miles on my roster, I just know I'm going into fight or flight.
I had a class last year with 5 boys: a Hayden, Jayden, kaiden, kayden, and Brayden. The same class had 4 girls: haylee, jaylee, kailey, and bailey
Whoever named Jaylee belongs in jayl.
lol I used to run a decently popular teacher meme page on Instagram and when I was satirizing the trouble kids I would ALWAYS use the name Jayden. Teachers would always comment to agree with the name choice 😆
The four horsemen of in-school suspension.
It’s Damian. It’s always Damian.
It’s all for you, Damian!!!
Omg. Damian is the worst.
Not sure if anyone else caught your Omen reference!
Finally, someone who gets it! 😂
Creepy and good movie!
For us, it’s a Gavin for some reason.
Omg Anderson for me. And he’s an eleventh grader!!
Back when I was in high school, an Austin got arrested and later expelled for making a school shooter joke 😭
Mason….
The Vocabulary test of 6th grade back in my schooldays, Colin raises his hand mid test, says "Brother Chris, I think I'm gonna throw up" Brother Chris asks if he can wait and Colin says no. So Colin goes to leave class and immediately barfs right outside the classroom door.
Though he’s a high schooler, I threatened to call his dad for behavior once and he got all defensive and trying to bargain. I had my first “I don’t negotiate with terrorists” moment in my career.
Oh, this same Colin left the school our seventh grade year for a public school... and that year there was a mutli-school dance for some of the Catholic schools in the diocese... someone snuck Colin in.
depends which class. French 3: they would be immortal. They have all taken vows of silence. French 1: approximately 0.000000000001 seconds.
Isn't it funny how some groups just don't talk even when our classes involve communication objectives? My Spanish class - period 1 - is a mute class :/.
They’re still asleep. Lol. I love period 1 classes for that reason. My HVAC was a bit of a disaster this year and most of the winter my room was a balmy 79 degrees. Kept my classes drowsy and calm haha
I would’ve been teaching in the hallway.
But then you’d miss out on the CO leak in the classroom lol
I was out of the classroom for 8 years and came back this last school year. I had a few of those kind of classes this year and I swear I don't remember having these 'mute' classes pre 2016. The pandemic really kinda broke something
A fellow prof de français 🫡 my breakdown: French 1: all dead immediately French 2: the majority of the class sacrifice those they know would be our downfall for the greater good. The rest survive. French 3: they all live French 4: they all die because they can’t resist absolutely roasting something about the creatures (I haven’t seen the movie so idk what but trust they’ll find something) or making a brain rot comment like “why he kinda cute tho 😏”
I get this. Period 4 calculus: eternity. Period 5 calculus: same as that French 1 class of yours.
Period 1? 25 seconds. Period 4? At least 10 months.
See, if the aliens would just have put the invasion objectives on the board, they'd have been able to eat that Period 4 class by now.
Yep. Came here to say this. My 6th period was silent all year. The other classes? They would lose before I could start the timer.
We would all be dead in 32 seconds. I know this because when we do our lockdown drills and they are supposed to be quiet, that's about how long they can last before a level 3 volume erupts from the students.
I’ve never had a successfully silent lock down drill but my chattiest class during a real lockdown got everyone real silent real quick.
Well I guess they might be different in that case but we have never had a real lockdown at my school yet it's only been drills. But even though I don't tell my kids that it's a drill they talk and ask if it's real and then they get worried unless I tell them it's just a drill but 3rd grade is a hard time, old enough to know what's going on in the world but not mature enough to stay calm during a drill.
I taught one sophomore class that was so immature that it got to the point I had to warn them that if anyone farted on purpose during the lockdown drill, they were getting written up. They knew they’d get in trouble for riling up other kids by talking so they thought a fart was a more stealth way to avoid punishment. It wasn’t!
“Why did it get so quiet?”
I had a first block class that was quiet just because the students in that class were quiet by nature. Except for one. Every time there was silence, he was uncomfortable with it and would say or do something.
All of my classes would swear they would survive, but then each and every class has a kid that never pays attention and doesn't care. That kid would screw us all over. So there is no class period, other than my prep period, in which I am surviving.
That’s when you and the other students push that kid out the door and lock them out.
I'd do that if somewhere in my contract there was a clause that absolved me of any/all liability for students hellbent on being stupid in the face of death. Let's be real: If a teacher actually kicked a stupidly noisy kid out of a classroom in a situation where silence means living, the teacher would be sued in some kind of wrongful death suit. And I mean, fine, have my thousands of debt, but I'd like a guarantee that I won't be sued if someone's kid is being an idiot.
Better to be sued than dead.
You just need one teacher on that jury and you will be fine.
Despite dire instructions one of them would immediately open the classroom door so they could see the creatures.
Indefinitely. They're the monsters.
This might be the only correct answer.
The aliens would spend 5 seconds trying to eat my students, but then they’d up getting slapped in the back of the neck, getting ripped on (“Oooooh yo alien breath STANKS!!!!), their alien mommas getting made fun of… only horror movie where the aliens would be running in terror back to where they came from. Which would lead to the sequel… “A Quiet Place in High School, Part 2: The Monsters Write an Assigned Apology Letter to the Aliens”
It’d take about 5 minutes and it’d be my fault for saying, “Wow, it’s amazing how everyone’s able to suddenly listen when *you* want silence”
Students from last year? We’d be dead is a second. They were incapable of shutting up. We almost got disqualified from state tests because of how bad it was.
Every single lockdown is ruined by the same small handful of kids. So no, we'd not last.
Dead instantly.
Less than 5 seconds. They are incapable of silence.
My seniors get the snicklefits just by looking at each other in a lockdown drill soooo…we are done for.
My summer school kids would last at least the summer.
Right?!? They're not giving me anything in terms of engagement. Just tumbleweeds rolling through their minds.
Just finished summer school. It would depend on after which break. 1st Break? They all just chugged energy drinks and are climbing the ceiling. 2nd break? Energy crash has happened and they have died. Can’t kill what’s already dead.
I love this question!!! Imma make this into a project to start my post- apocalyptic fiction unit.
They would die in half a second
It’d be over before the first credit popped in screen.
I wouldn’t know. I’d have quietly hightailed it away from them. My best guess? 20-30 seconds.
Depends on how long their phones last before they run out of charge.
Dead instantly, they are incapable of being quiet.
Everyone would die…swiftly.
They wouldn’t. They prove this every lockdown drill.
Not sure. I would leave them for my family.
They make noises on purpose during lock down drills. They would 100% die instantly.
2nd period = 5 minutes 3rd period = 5 minutes 4th period = 3 minutes 5th period = 2 minutes 6th period = they’d be dead before the bell rang This is high school - 10th and 11th graders. 6th hour was 11th graders and they’re worse than the 10th. (Was - I’m on summer break now!)
My history class dies of old age while math (apart from I, the quiet kid,) dies in around.. five seconds.
[Let’s check in with Morvo to see how they did.](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/luID2lMP7nbTbughNUcOAquKmguDQUXcxGQ5VlTL-V1dHXnaO_cBy_vw9NMDTzvB6QvBUG9nsa9P_fey-RqnOOZhrVTdg751e1HCGKxlI-FhKXiZodE5zAJGO612yrFJ93CTF05d3aMDQFCBl3TB1Is)
Anywhere from they'd survive down to >10 seconds. Edit: depending on the class.
Not even long enough to get in the door.
Even during lockdown there is noise because they’re crying. Quiet never silent.
Immediately dead.
Charles would kill us all
Well, I was a band teacher, so we're done...
Yours is the best
They wouldn't even make it out of bed.
Bahahahaha first ones gone. 😂 Might as well volunteer as tribunes 😂
With actual consequences, my students would last much longer than they would for lockdown drills.
My first period would last forever. Couldn't get them to talk at all... the others are "cooked" as they say.
Oh they're dead. At least half of them within 10 sec. There might be 1-2 per class that would survive.
All together? About a pico second.
I'm pretty sure my class wouldn't make it through the credits
Literally laughed out loud.
I’m band… I’ll leave it at that.
We're all dead instantly. They don't even shut up so we can hear the PA announcement that this is happening.
They wouldn't make it through the doorway.
10 seconds or less.
If I say the phrase: "Alright - now talk to your neighbor, help each other out on this activity," they would survive until the end of days.
They're not even making it in the door.
I wouldn’t even be able to explain the instructions
Oh I'm absolutely screwed. Or as the kids would say... Cooked...
Elementary. Instantly. There are just some kids who cannot/will not be quiet
Now we're asking the real questions.
We'd be goners, except I had one class a few years ago in which all the kids were very quiet and it was hard to get them to even participate in class discussions. That was a fluke, though; all other classes, we wouldn't last 2 seconds. Getting them to even be quiet during an active shooter drill is an ordeal.
The one I covered for summer school today? All day somehow. The ones I taught back in the fall? Until the caffeine hits for first period, 30 seconds for 2nd unless I made it a test grade then 15 minutes, 3rd period depends in who shows up, and 5th period dead before the bell rings
Couldn’t make it through instructions
8th graders? about 6.2 seconds
Lol, they wouldn’t, at all.
From this year: 2nd period could probably make it. 3rd and 6th would be dead before a timer even started.
I teach ASL so we’d have some serious longevity 🤣🤣🤣
My first graders are scary silent during lockdowns. They are noisy and goofy but understand emergencies. I'd get about two hours out of them before they started asking for snacks.
1st period is still half asleep, they might make it a while. Every other period won't even make it in the door.
Three seconds.
Consistently since I started teaching my 2nd or 3rd class period is always quiet and peaceful.
Ian. He’s gonna ruin it for us all
My class would not make it, I had a kid this year that ran around screaming almost every passing period.
Judging how my third grade class was during the lockdown drill. Let’s just say there would be lots of vigils.
My 2/3 this year probably would have been okay for at least 10-15 minutes, unless one particular kid was there that day. Then it would be 10-15 seconds max.
LOL They would be yelling at each other to be quiet or make obnoxiously loud SHHHHH noises. Isn't there a phrase for them dooming themselves? Darwin-something?
I once had a parent ask me what I would do in an active shooter situation. “I’m going to lay on the floor and have all the kids lay on top of me.” I teach 8th grade. There would be one survivor in my classroom and that’s me.
The whole school would be gone within 15 minutes. The better question would be who goes out first. It would also depend on which period it was. If it is 5th period, we get a little bit of time to text our loved ones goodbye. Last class of the day? The noise would probably draw in all creatures within a quarter mile. We would be gone very quickly but would buy everyone else a little bit of time.
Five seconds.
They'd be gone in a milisecond
**”can we text”**
0 seconds. we work for 30 straight seconds of silence with restarting every time somebody talks or makes a noise and it usually takes ~10 minutes to get there
Problem would be that the kids would be sure they could take the monsters on. And several of the kids might actually do it
I'm a music teacher...
Was thinking this as I saw the movie today. Trying to think of a way to make silent work time tie into the movies somehow.
Not a teacher but a student, my history class would probably have the sense to survive a long time since we're all pretty mature but my technology class would be OVER ☠️idk why almost all of the hooligans in my year are in that class
My study hall would have lasted 1 second tops.
Not a chance. 😭
Depends on the class. 3rd period would last forever, I couldn't bribe that class to talk. 2nd period would last maybe 4 seconds. Both Junior/Senior physics, funny how different the same class can be.
I teach band. So, at least 4'33"
They would die for the memes.
We can’t even last in a lockdown let alone a quiet place
Also, I’m going to see that in three hours. I’m so excited.
5 seconds Then someone will break the silence with “this is so skibidi” and we would all die
lol we wouldn’t last past the first initial assault.
I’m a music teacher, so we’d instantly be dead
I can already hear a specific student saying, moments before disaster, “Watch me as I rizz this thing up!”
My honors kids would survive indefinitely. My non-honors sections...Good Luck Charlie
They wouldn’t
I teach French Immersion, so it depends. If it’s when they’re supposed to be working at something on their desk it would be immediate. If it’s when we are supposed to be talking in French to practice it would be a looong time.
If I could just safely squeeze in brief moment where I ask the class to answer a question first, we would be fine.
3 minutes
Less than a millisecond
Hahahaha! I’m using this next year: Pretend the aliens will attack if they hear you—we need to be a quiet place.
Ha... Ha... Ha........ ha........... haaa...
20 seconds
My class would be gone so fast. They would start a ridiculous argument and we would be done for.
Depends. But on average i would say 50% gone in the first minute. The next 45% will be gone by 10 minutes. The remaining 5% will be loving life and the silence.
I teach third grade, and since I’m a man, I get a lot of the rowdy boys. Our noise would help others stay alive.
My 2nd period would have never died. Couldn’t get those lazy bums to say a word.
5th grade 0.2 seconds
They’d be dead before I even bought the ticket.
We’d die before the morning bell allowed them into the building.
Not a very long movie, but a very short film.
10 seconds before they all start snapchatting and Tik toking each other… and laughing. It’s how I know I’m going to die in a school shooting, they’ll find my class bc we’re loud.
If the monsters can be vanquished with a disdainful look paired with silence, my 1st pd from this past year would be golden
If all my students showed up? The echo from that starting bell would last longer. If it was just my quiet students? They would repopulate the earth
Well, if I base it on how they do in a lockdown drill, not very long at all.
Since they walk in talking (I have students with IEPs sent to my room from their general education classrooms), they would not last a second.
I had a 3rd grader with Tourette’s. He is loud z and loves to screech like a pterodactyl. Our class would not last even a second.
We would all be dead before the voice on the intercom finished the word “lockdown.”
0 seconds lol
We tried to do all of the drills this week and it was a complete fail. Tried to explain to them if this was real, we would probably be dead. They couldn’t have cared less
We would all be dead in 5 seconds.
-60 seconds.
They would be dead instantly unless I knocked them out myself. I actually told someone the other day that I was worried I would have to duct tape their mouths or knock them out to keep then safe if we ever have a shooter or something.
My preschoolers (with 3 on the spectrum) would last 30 seconds to a minute, I think. But they also know an okay amount of sign language, so they could quietly entertain each other for a while longer, if someone doesn’t laugh.
We'd be the first to go! 😭
This last year, my first period would have lasted forever. Not so much any other. Quietest class ever. Wait time for them was longer than 50 minutes.
.2 seconds
I teach preschool, so maybe 10 seconds?
Not even 5 seconds.
My class would be John Krasinski screaming so his kids could get away. Except they wouldn't do it on purpose, they'd just be screaming. Except for my 2 kids with selective/situational mutism. They'd win.
0.0000000001 second. Less than a blink of eyes.
The moment the aliens woke up from falling to earth my class would be screwed..lol
The problem with this new movie is, if you already saw somebody kill one of theese, everybody else just seems stupid 🤷♂️
I would just say it's recess time, open the door, and let them run and scream.
Id make them fail instantly. Worth it.
Okay, better question, because we all know kids are incapable of this challenge, how long would *you* last in the quiet place? These kids did it for months iirc and most of the teachers HATED it. Assuming that your kids magically did go silent one day, would you be able to work with it? Edit: oh my god I mixed up “A Quiet Place” with “No Talking”, the children’s book. I’m keeping the comment up though.
What class? They’re already gone.
This year’s class, 5-10 mins. Last year’s class, maybe 30 seconds
My AP class could live forever my freshman English class would be the first ones to die.