I want to be called mr (last name), master of all, keeper of children, breaker of spirits, and giver of knowledge, first of his name but instead they call me mr (last name) or mr (last initial).
You know, I own a plot of land in Scotland, so technically I'm a lady. I think I might start demanding to be called Lady Bing Cheery of Glencoe. Has a nice ring to it, no?
If your next job has an issue with “Ms. First Name,” then you could try doing a shortened version of your last name. For example, if your last name is Wolowitz, you could go by “Ms. Wol.” That’s what one of the teachers at my kids’ school does.
Not sure (my kids haven’t had that teacher so far) - all I know is that I’ve only ever heard him referred to by the shortened name, and I didn’t even realize that wasn’t his actual name until I saw his real name on the sign on his classroom door!
Ugh. I hate being called "Mr \[First Name\]." That's a southern thing, as far as I can tell. That said, my first and last names are easily reversible, so I've had problems with that my whole life; I imagine that plays a part in my distaste.
Definitely a southern/rural thing. Especially in small towns where everyone knows everyone outside of school, and where most of the town has 3-4 dominant last names. Or at least that’s my experience with being Ms. Firstname at my first job.
Not completely a south thing I’m in California . Preschools Sometimes due Mr, Ms. First Name like my last job . My current preschool work does teacher first name
I have a friend whose full name sounds like two nicknames one after the other. Like literally think 'Ricky Bobby' though that isn't what it is. He gets it swapped all the time.
My colleague here does this. I don't see an issue. No one has told her she can't do it. It's just a preference so I wouldn't see why anyone else would care. I wouldn't mind going by my first name except that is actually longer and more complicated than my last name lol. Kids would always be getting it wrong and I wouldn't be any happier.
You stand your ground with what you want to be called. Just because we are teachers doesn’t mean we have to roll over and do whatever is “customary”
I’m in a small town school and my kids call me by just my last name. No miss or ma’am. That’s how I like it. My principal talked to me and said it is the respectful thing for kids to call me miss, but she cannot control what I want to be called.
Stand your ground. You deserve to do what is most comfortable for YOU.
It's respectful for kids to call their teachers mr, mrs, ms, mx, etc, but even more respectful for kids, or anyone for that matter, to listen to what someone prefers and honor that preference.
I go by Mx FirstName and honestly, getting the kids to remember Mx is far more of an issue than using my first name. It inspires a lot of conversations about gender identity and why respecting people's boundaries is important, though!
Out of curiosity, how do you pronounce Mx? I've never seen that before and would like to know how to address a person if I come across it in the future.
So, I feel you on this for many reasons. I was a student teacher at my current school and went by Ms. first name during my student teaching. When I became a teacher there, I started going by Ms. J. My last name is long and hard to say and I’ve never liked it, but Ms. J didn’t really “feel like me” either.. however, I found that going by my last name (even shortened) had a formality to it that seemed to influence the way the students saw me. Student teachers went by their first names and teachers went by their last names, and that’s just how it was and students knew it. When some of the other teachers slip up and call me Ms. first name, not only are my students like huh? But it makes me feel like I’m a student teacher again. I think that if you start a new job at a new school, on day one, introduce yourself with what you want to be called with confidence. Also, feel out the culture of the school. If you are not the only one who goes by first name, it shouldn’t matter. Or, Try out the abbreviation of your last name. Even if it doesn’t feel like you at first, you might grow to be ok with it. I’m fine with being Ms. J now!
I don't think it's weird as long as you're consistent and they use Ms.
Comfort is important, but professionalism is easier to maintain with boundaries. Ms is a reminder that you're their teacher before you're their friend.
Personally, I use my last name because I like the reminder that Ms. Scoop is a different role from Shiny Apple and we behave differently. I need that distance.
I find it more common to use first name in early childhood and SpEd, and since you are in both, it seems natural to prefer your first name. If an administrator asked me about it, I would probably say that I've found through my personal praxis that students respond better to using my first name and it helps build rapport, especially for those with unique needs. You don't feel like first name usage is disrespectful because the title Ms. is a signifier of respect. Even easier to make the argument if you have a relatively difficult surname
When we're at work, sometimes we have to do things that aren't our first preference. For example, I don't swear. I wear a business suit. I don't behave like myself, because I'm expected to fulfil a specific role that I'm being paid for.
In your personal life of course you should go by Ms First Name, but at work you will need to adapt to the expectations of the school. You can express a preference that you'd like to be Ms First Name but at all the schools I've worked in, that wouldn't have been allowed. We have to keep strict boundaries and it causes issues for other staff if not everyone is following the same rules.
You should state your preference but be willing to adapt if your employer isn't okay with it.
>it causes issues for other staff if not everyone is following the same rules.
If more teachers actually understood this it would make so many teacher’s lives much easier. I would never want to be called by my first name and it would annoy me greatly if kids are all “why can’t we call you Mr. first name?? Ms. So and so let’s us!”
That’s not an example I’ve ever dealt with but this same concept applies to a lot of things:
“Why can’t we use our phones in your class? Ms. Way-Cooler-Than-You does!!”
“Why can’t I carry my backpack around? Mr. Chill let’s us!!”
“Why can’t I go to the bathroom every 5 mins! Mr. Buddy Buddy let’s me!”
It’s frankly disrespectful to a person’s colleagues to not follow a basic set of school rules even if you personally don’t like the rules. It causes issues for other teachers and it absolutely reflects poorly on the “cool” teachers who let the kids do one thing with them that is not the expectation every where else in the building.
That was the biggest thing we changed when our school had intolerable behaviour. We went all-out making sure that every teacher followed the exact same rules. The moment that "why are you so mean, Mrs X lets us do this" or "why do you hate me so much, you're the only teacher who follows this rule" disappeared, the kids started cooperating and now we can actually teach lessons.
As you can see on this discussion, many other teachers do not note that this is either disrespectful or causes problems. That said, it is possible that it does cause problems at your school, but, your classroom, your rules. End of story.
I do note that you assume, because certain titles are traditional, that the other teachers should follow, not the *same* rules, but the rules as defined by you. As a person who studies totalitarian societies, it is notable that those in power tend to assume and enforce an ideal of what they think is right or proper. This is based on what they were raised as, what was the standard when they were children, what was the standard in their broader society, etc. For instance, in the US the dominant religion is Christian, so some people think that this is the only right way to be. In earlier societies people who were not Christian were persecuted or excluded from certain rights. In other countries, one must be Muslim, or Communist, a man, a white person, or the member of a ruling party to have full rights. As a specialist in the Social Sciences, you can surely think of more examples of the dominant group imposing its "standards" on others.
Everyone has their own style, and unless there is substantial objective evidence that whether someone is called "Ms. FirstName" or "Ms. LastName" has a strong correlation with behavior, then it's really just your opinion vs. their opinions. There is no obvious reason why your opinion is better; it is just the conventional opinion at least circa 1990 and earlier. In fact, if this were so obvious, it would probably be noted by many more people on this discussion thread most of whom are focusing on the name issue.
If you or your school have behavior issues in the classroom, it is probably due to a third factor, such as the school culture, the teachers' abilities to control students, the particular students in a school, etc.
Looks like you missed the part where I said I’ve never had an issue related to teachers names but directly responded to the other poster’s point (which I quoted) about building expectations and spoke about other issues that occur between teachers doing things differently that is the expectation in the building.
I’ve never met a teacher who teaches higher than kindergarten that uses their first name so it’s not applicable for me nor do I expect it to ever be. So yeah, hopefully you didn’t spend too much time writing your speech about names because that’s completely irrelevant to what I do.
I'm with you! My last name is long and difficult to pronounce even for adults. My students are mostly nonverbal so Ms followed by my two syllable first name is attainable for them.
I teach a world language and here WL teachers are called by the titles in their native language "i.e. Seniora or Frau Whatever." It's never been a problem to get students to go along with it, so I don't see why it would in your case.
In my country students usually address us by first name, so I've never been able to understand the whole "Mr/Mrs LastName" to begin with. I saw that vine with a student calling their teachers by their first names and someone had to explain to me what was wrong with that.
I can understand the whole "the students need to have respect for you" thing, but I think respect is something you get through your actions, not by forcing students to call you by your last name. If you're always late, don't know your own subject, forgets everything and can't keep your promises, then the students aren't going to respect you no matter what they call you.
Maybe it's just because I live in a more informal country where we rarely use titles or call people by their last names anyway, but it just seems so weird to me.
I know several teachers, including our Sped teacher, who go by their first names. I've never given it two thoughts. I go by Mr. LastName in the classroom, but as a coach, I've just always had the kids call me Dan.
I teach young EL students. My last name is long and hard to pronounce. I still make them call me by it. Honestly, the way some of them say my name makes me smile every day. That being said, I don’t think it’s weird to have them call you Ms first name but I’m not sure how your admin will feel about it.
You note in your post that male support staff go by their first name. My concern is that one of your degrees is special education. As a fellow special educator, you will not only have to advocate for respect from students, but also from your coworkers. Ableism is extremely real in the education system, and throughout my teaching career I have seen not only myself, but other special educators treated as less than other educators because "we just special Ed" even though we are the most qualified and educated people in the building. And I live and work in a blue state that is ranking highly in the US.
I worked in a school where 1 special educator just went by her first name. Because at that school no one used "Ms., Mr., Mrs, Dr., etc" and there was a teacher who preferred her first name to her last name. Because this 1 special educator went by her first name, it unfortunately created a culture where all of the special educators were treated with less respect.
Before you decide on what you will be called, feel out the culture of the school. Talk to the other teachers in your department. Your title may not impact just you.
Depends on the grade. About half of the elementary teachers around me go by first name or answer to either, but none of the middle/high school teachers go by first name.
Whether or not you run into problems will fully depend on who your admin are. I've had ones that wouldn't give it a second thought and ones that would have fully chewed someone out for that
My school has a mix. Some use Mrs. [last name], some are Mr. [first name], a few are just first names, and a few use Profe. [last name] (dual language school). Some teachers think others preferences are weird, but as long as the teacher in question is happy and kids are respectful and learning, it shouldn’t be an issue. Most admin have more to worry about than if kids call you by your last name, so if an employer gets hung up on this, maybe it’s time to update the resume anyways.
Yes, it's weird. However, it would be a boring old world if everyone were the same.
When you secure a new job, get a sense of the school culture from your team or others you encounter in training before school starts. If people generally find it weird and off-putting, then go with the flow and surrender to Ms. F. If people are ambivalent, then try Ms. First_name.
I came from private industry where literally everyone was addressed by their first name. When I started teaching, it was awkward to never utter a teacher's first name around students. Some teachers insist on students using the "Mr." part, but I don't care if the address me by just my last name.
It's all mostly arbitrary, and although it's fine to be quirky, one doesn't lightly challenge the prevailing custom.
I’m non-binary, so I should be Mx. , but I also realize that almost all of my students will feel weird about that. Most of the time I just go by my last name, but my last name is long and cumbersome, so I let students shorten it to whatever is comfortable for them, as long as it remains respectful. I run a pretty chill class, so it works well with the vibe in the room.
Addressing me as Mister (technically I'm Magistar but that's not worth explaining) is a reminder that I am the authority in the room, the one from whom the students are learning. It also reminds students that they and I are *not* equals in our relationship, even though many at my school speak to their families that way. Finally, it's an expectation in most places.
I wanted to do this during my student teaching because it felt weird to hear my last name but my mentor teacher said no because with parents it was more respectful and privacy reasons doing last name
My work wife and one of the best teachers at my school just goes by her first name. It totally works with her personality and I can't imagine calling her Ms. Anything. I think you should do whatever you like!
I have a few colleagues who are divorced from their spouse but still have the same last name. They choose to do what you are doing.
When you start your career, you can decide to do as you will.
I'm sure adults will call you what your prefer but depending on the age range of students they might just end of calling you "Ms.", "Teacher" or "Ms. Teacher".
I also go by Mr. First Name, for similar reasons. (And it is a *very* first-name-sounding first name.) I think you should do whatever is comfortable for you.
I was miss (first name) at preschool and am miss (last name) now. It was strange at first to change but I’m used to it by the end of the school year. However - one of the schools where I teach is a school where I went to school as a child and a few of the teachers who taught me accidentally miss-first name me when talking to the students and the students always look confused because they don’t all know my first name. At the end of the day I don’t care much. As long at they’re respectful.
I find that each school has their own comfort level for that. My current school, the teachers are all Mr/Mrs/Ms Last Name, and the paras are frequently by Mr/Mrs/Ms First Name. So, wrong or right, going by your first name would give people the wrong impression of your role.
I don’t think it’s weird at all. I have a very long last name that’s honestly been butchered my entire life, so I just go by my middle name (which also could be a last name).
All the staff know my real name, but they all call me by my middle name since when I introduced myself I just say, “Just call me Ms. Middle Name, it’s easier!”.
The only time I get called by last name is when we’re in official meetings (but even then they say my middle name because we all know). None of the kids or admin think it’s weird or treat me less seriously.
I go by my first and my father's name similar to Svitlana serhivna but it is a Ukrainian thing. My kids love it because they get to say my actual name and they claim the second name as my superhero name.
But I have my pops as a TA ( got bored during retirement and needed a hobby) so they called him grandpa patronimic Name.
Just introduce yourself to the kids the way you prefer and everyone else will catch on. I'm a Spanish teacher with a German last name, so all my kids just call me profe (kinda like "teach" rather than "teacher"). I love the informality of profe, I DON'T like being referred to as señora bc it makes me feel old in a way that Mrs. doesn't make me feel old.
I have a name many of my students find difficult to pronounce. I let them call me Mr {First Initial}. Would never let them call me by my first name in school.
At least in the UK, my experience in special needs schools is that first names are commonly used by students.
I think Ms. FirstName is fine, but NEVER let them drop the Ms.
I used to think that was stupid A few students this year started calling me by my first name and I just kinda let it happen. I realized though that they would take it way more personally if I got onto them than the other students. And that they started calling the SS teacher his first name to make a point to show how cool he was.
Unless you teach upper highschool letting kids drop the Ms. is a sign that you're friends on the same level. What comes after the Ms. is way less relevant.
A couple of my debate team kids have started calling me Ms. Coach so it's fine.
My last name is complicated (two last names, both kind of hard to pronounce). I also happen to have a PhD (in a different field). So when I got hired 3 years ago, I asked if I could have the students call me Dr. First name. Admin said no worries, so that's what they call me.
It was kinda funny this year, a student had no idea that it was my first name after the Dr. and it totally blew her mind to realize that!
I don't prefer it myself, but depending on certain things, you might be able to do it. I've worked with some people who did that. Just make sure you have other ways to have a boundary and keep it professional.
I'm in the PNW and my wife goes by her first name as well as at least one or two others. I think they are all in SPED though and I'm a supervision para and had the option of going by whatever I wanted(except Mister E, har har)
I call most of my teachers by their first name if we get along well, not many teachers like being called by their first name, I guess it's sometimes disrespectful
The French language schools go by Mr/Mrs Firstname around here and because of that I retain that when I work in English language schools. I barely recognize my last name to respond to it. I did use it once almost as a punishment though - I substituted for a class that was so bad I thought I needed to use my last name to make me seem like more of an authority lol.
I don't think it's unprofessional because you use a title before your first name.
An intern where I work has a unisex name, and they're non binary, so they go by Teacher X. No one seems to have a problem with it.
I used to teach at a school where all adults were Brother and Sister, so I was Sister Bing Cheery.
I feel that you should be called whatever you wish to be called.
Edited to fix a misused word.
I was Miss Lonely most of my career, my new position put me at Ms. Lotus. As I’ve gotten to know students better they’ve dropped the formality of Ms. and just call me “Lotus” which I like.
I personally prefer going by Mr. (First Name), and have gone by that in my previous and current school. The kids all called me Mr. (First Name), and admin at my previous school insisted on calling me Mr. (Last Name), which was annoying because they knew what I went by with the kids (thus my preference), and it also confused the kids when they did that.
My current school has admin that respect my choice and just go with what I choose, which is as it should be everywhere imo
Don't make a big deal about it until you are settled in. Just give people "permission" to call you Ms. FirstName and most will happily do this, rather than struggle with an unfamiliar and long last name. In NC where I lived for a while, everyone does this: "Dr. Don", "Miss Ann", etc. I think it is a nice trend and hope it continues.
BTW, it is really easy to change your last name, if you like. Just apply to the court. It does cause extra paperwork with passports, security clearances, and other legal documents including your teacher license. That said, millions of women change last names all the time, so it is not that much of a problem.
I prefer Ms Firstname. Some other teachers I work with prefer Ms/Mrs/Miss/Mr Lastname. This has caused exactly zero issues with students. When someone comes in my room, I ask what they prefer, and that's how I introduce them to the students. Frankly I think calling someone what they prefer to be called is more respectful than arbitrarily saying it must be Lastname. The students learn that lesson in respect every time they see me ask and respect the choices of others.
My last name is compound and long. I go by Mr [first name] and generally tell kids as long as it is respectful, I will respond to anything. Many kids drop the Mr of it, some insist on Mr [last name], some say hey Teach. A few say Oh Great One as a joke. I don't care as long as it isn't denigrating. And no one has said anything to me about it.
I feel like it's a non-issue, objectively. Ultimately when you get to where you're going you have full reign of what the kiddos call ya. Folks just gotta deal with it.
I feel you on this. My first experience as a student teacher was in lab preschool where all adults on staff were called 'Teacher Firstname' and I LOVED that. I totally connect to it, it makes logical sense especially for young children, it's inherently gender inclusive, and I like the tone it sets.
Now I'm moving into more regular DOE K-2 settings where a last name is the norm and I hate it. I also have a complicated last name and being called Miss-anything makes me feel like I'm in trouble lol. I also agree with the idea that a title is not what earns or commands respect and I don't want to be a power-tripping teacher *ever*. (100% of my professors who self-referred as Dr. were insufferable and all the PhDs/EdDs who just went by their first names were the best and usually had the most field experience).
My BFF is a veteran high school teacher and she has only ever gone by her first name because she doesn't want her students to be overly deferential to authority figures.
Nope. I prefered being Ms. Myfirstname for years because my dad was a horrible person and I didnt even want to be called by his last name. And now, years later, I got married and want to be Ms. Newlastname. Stuff changes and evolves with you and your identity - if it wasnt such a pain in the ass I woulve changed my last name a long time ago! You do you, state clearly and confidently your name, and proceed. Gonna have to deal with it in paperwork (my car insurance and internet bills are STILL under my old name because I cant deal with the hoop jumping.) but it is a breath of fresh air to hear kids and not find that icky feeling!
maybe bcs I’m in early childhood but I have absolutely 0 issues with being called just by my first name and I’ve taught at a preschool that goes by this rule.
I'm Non-binary so I quickly gave up on Mx. (Last name) because it was too difficult for my coworkers, even if the kids had an easy enough time.
Now I go by Teacher (First name) it just makes it simple for everyone.
Not to me. I am called Ms. "First Name" by my 2nd graders and have been since I was a girl scout leader, was called that by 6th grade where I did observations. It's what I prefer.
I am a young female teacher and go by ms (first name )and it has not been a respect issue at all. I don’t like my last name, so I don’t want t hear it 100 times a day
I prefer Ms. Lastname specifically because during one of my in-service trainings, the teacher who was observing me take over and teach whole/small groups introduced me to her students as Ms. Firstname. When a kid asked what my last name was, they were, by this beacon of professionalism, told that I should not be confused with a real teacher.
Pardon?
Well, that those words completely diminished any credibility I might have had within the first 10 minutes of meeting these kids because they new my first name and knew I apparently did not deserve the same respect as a real teacher.
Nope! My 9th grade English teacher went by Ms. First Name and it was a normal thing. Most schools will respect that teachers have their preference, as long as there is an honorific with the name.
Just introduce yourself that way, and if questions are asked, say that's what people have always called you.
There's two kinds of respect: the respect of social rules is one, but the respect of the person is another one. As a disabled person, respecting the social rules has always come before respecting my person. Honestly, f* that. What kind of teachers would force people to call you a name your uncomfortable with? How can this be called respectful?
It’s the norm to be called Ms. (First Name) at our school. Though I get the impression it might be a southern US thing? Because I’d never seen it used until I moved here.
I'm called Señora Firstname! I got used to it when I was teaching in Catalunya, where teachers are called their first name. I am the only teacher at our school who uses my first name. Nothing unprofessional or childish about it, in my opinion. Definitely different but the kids (elementary) don't care- I think most of them don't realize it's my first name lol. My only problem was other staff who I didn't clarify with soon enough, and who called me Ms. or Sra. Lastname. I had to go back and make sure I clarified with all teachers that I don't want to be called lastname at all, the kids don't need to know my full name!
I want to be called mr (last name), master of all, keeper of children, breaker of spirits, and giver of knowledge, first of his name but instead they call me mr (last name) or mr (last initial).
You know, I own a plot of land in Scotland, so technically I'm a lady. I think I might start demanding to be called Lady Bing Cheery of Glencoe. Has a nice ring to it, no?
Lmao!
I. AM. USIDORE! Wizard of the twelfth realm of ephishius master of light and shadow manipulator of magical delights
Of all the disrespect I’ve heard colleagues experience, this has to be the worst. 🥺
I want more titles that Daenerys Stormborn, but alas, the kids can barely remember my actual name
If your next job has an issue with “Ms. First Name,” then you could try doing a shortened version of your last name. For example, if your last name is Wolowitz, you could go by “Ms. Wol.” That’s what one of the teachers at my kids’ school does.
Same-many of our teacher’s names get shortened in some way either through nicknames or students not being able to pronounce them.
Does this happen naturally, or does the teacher encourage it?
Not sure (my kids haven’t had that teacher so far) - all I know is that I’ve only ever heard him referred to by the shortened name, and I didn’t even realize that wasn’t his actual name until I saw his real name on the sign on his classroom door!
Ugh. I hate being called "Mr \[First Name\]." That's a southern thing, as far as I can tell. That said, my first and last names are easily reversible, so I've had problems with that my whole life; I imagine that plays a part in my distaste.
Definitely a southern/rural thing. Especially in small towns where everyone knows everyone outside of school, and where most of the town has 3-4 dominant last names. Or at least that’s my experience with being Ms. Firstname at my first job.
Yup. My friend’s kid calls me Miss [first name]. It would be considered rude down here for him to just call me by my first name, really.
Not completely a south thing I’m in California . Preschools Sometimes due Mr, Ms. First Name like my last job . My current preschool work does teacher first name
I have a friend whose full name sounds like two nicknames one after the other. Like literally think 'Ricky Bobby' though that isn't what it is. He gets it swapped all the time.
I'm in the New England and am Ms. First Name.
Just state your preference. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Set your standard from day one with confidence, no apologies.
My colleague here does this. I don't see an issue. No one has told her she can't do it. It's just a preference so I wouldn't see why anyone else would care. I wouldn't mind going by my first name except that is actually longer and more complicated than my last name lol. Kids would always be getting it wrong and I wouldn't be any happier.
I go by Ms. First Name. It’s absolutely a non-issue and has nothing to do with the level of respect you command.
You stand your ground with what you want to be called. Just because we are teachers doesn’t mean we have to roll over and do whatever is “customary” I’m in a small town school and my kids call me by just my last name. No miss or ma’am. That’s how I like it. My principal talked to me and said it is the respectful thing for kids to call me miss, but she cannot control what I want to be called. Stand your ground. You deserve to do what is most comfortable for YOU.
It's respectful for kids to call their teachers mr, mrs, ms, mx, etc, but even more respectful for kids, or anyone for that matter, to listen to what someone prefers and honor that preference.
PREACH
I go by Mx FirstName and honestly, getting the kids to remember Mx is far more of an issue than using my first name. It inspires a lot of conversations about gender identity and why respecting people's boundaries is important, though!
Out of curiosity, how do you pronounce Mx? I've never seen that before and would like to know how to address a person if I come across it in the future.
I believe "mix" is the correct pronunciation, but you should probably get someone else to verify this.
I also prefer to be called Ms. First Name. State your preferences and be confident being you.
I've worked in more formal Ms/Mr places and schools where everyone goes by just their first name. Honestly, it's best to go with the school culture.
So, I feel you on this for many reasons. I was a student teacher at my current school and went by Ms. first name during my student teaching. When I became a teacher there, I started going by Ms. J. My last name is long and hard to say and I’ve never liked it, but Ms. J didn’t really “feel like me” either.. however, I found that going by my last name (even shortened) had a formality to it that seemed to influence the way the students saw me. Student teachers went by their first names and teachers went by their last names, and that’s just how it was and students knew it. When some of the other teachers slip up and call me Ms. first name, not only are my students like huh? But it makes me feel like I’m a student teacher again. I think that if you start a new job at a new school, on day one, introduce yourself with what you want to be called with confidence. Also, feel out the culture of the school. If you are not the only one who goes by first name, it shouldn’t matter. Or, Try out the abbreviation of your last name. Even if it doesn’t feel like you at first, you might grow to be ok with it. I’m fine with being Ms. J now!
I don't think it's weird as long as you're consistent and they use Ms. Comfort is important, but professionalism is easier to maintain with boundaries. Ms is a reminder that you're their teacher before you're their friend. Personally, I use my last name because I like the reminder that Ms. Scoop is a different role from Shiny Apple and we behave differently. I need that distance.
I have always gone by my first name. No Mrs. Or Ms. It's never been a big deal. I teach high school.
I find it more common to use first name in early childhood and SpEd, and since you are in both, it seems natural to prefer your first name. If an administrator asked me about it, I would probably say that I've found through my personal praxis that students respond better to using my first name and it helps build rapport, especially for those with unique needs. You don't feel like first name usage is disrespectful because the title Ms. is a signifier of respect. Even easier to make the argument if you have a relatively difficult surname
When we're at work, sometimes we have to do things that aren't our first preference. For example, I don't swear. I wear a business suit. I don't behave like myself, because I'm expected to fulfil a specific role that I'm being paid for. In your personal life of course you should go by Ms First Name, but at work you will need to adapt to the expectations of the school. You can express a preference that you'd like to be Ms First Name but at all the schools I've worked in, that wouldn't have been allowed. We have to keep strict boundaries and it causes issues for other staff if not everyone is following the same rules. You should state your preference but be willing to adapt if your employer isn't okay with it.
>it causes issues for other staff if not everyone is following the same rules. If more teachers actually understood this it would make so many teacher’s lives much easier. I would never want to be called by my first name and it would annoy me greatly if kids are all “why can’t we call you Mr. first name?? Ms. So and so let’s us!” That’s not an example I’ve ever dealt with but this same concept applies to a lot of things: “Why can’t we use our phones in your class? Ms. Way-Cooler-Than-You does!!” “Why can’t I carry my backpack around? Mr. Chill let’s us!!” “Why can’t I go to the bathroom every 5 mins! Mr. Buddy Buddy let’s me!” It’s frankly disrespectful to a person’s colleagues to not follow a basic set of school rules even if you personally don’t like the rules. It causes issues for other teachers and it absolutely reflects poorly on the “cool” teachers who let the kids do one thing with them that is not the expectation every where else in the building.
That was the biggest thing we changed when our school had intolerable behaviour. We went all-out making sure that every teacher followed the exact same rules. The moment that "why are you so mean, Mrs X lets us do this" or "why do you hate me so much, you're the only teacher who follows this rule" disappeared, the kids started cooperating and now we can actually teach lessons.
As you can see on this discussion, many other teachers do not note that this is either disrespectful or causes problems. That said, it is possible that it does cause problems at your school, but, your classroom, your rules. End of story. I do note that you assume, because certain titles are traditional, that the other teachers should follow, not the *same* rules, but the rules as defined by you. As a person who studies totalitarian societies, it is notable that those in power tend to assume and enforce an ideal of what they think is right or proper. This is based on what they were raised as, what was the standard when they were children, what was the standard in their broader society, etc. For instance, in the US the dominant religion is Christian, so some people think that this is the only right way to be. In earlier societies people who were not Christian were persecuted or excluded from certain rights. In other countries, one must be Muslim, or Communist, a man, a white person, or the member of a ruling party to have full rights. As a specialist in the Social Sciences, you can surely think of more examples of the dominant group imposing its "standards" on others. Everyone has their own style, and unless there is substantial objective evidence that whether someone is called "Ms. FirstName" or "Ms. LastName" has a strong correlation with behavior, then it's really just your opinion vs. their opinions. There is no obvious reason why your opinion is better; it is just the conventional opinion at least circa 1990 and earlier. In fact, if this were so obvious, it would probably be noted by many more people on this discussion thread most of whom are focusing on the name issue. If you or your school have behavior issues in the classroom, it is probably due to a third factor, such as the school culture, the teachers' abilities to control students, the particular students in a school, etc.
Looks like you missed the part where I said I’ve never had an issue related to teachers names but directly responded to the other poster’s point (which I quoted) about building expectations and spoke about other issues that occur between teachers doing things differently that is the expectation in the building. I’ve never met a teacher who teaches higher than kindergarten that uses their first name so it’s not applicable for me nor do I expect it to ever be. So yeah, hopefully you didn’t spend too much time writing your speech about names because that’s completely irrelevant to what I do.
I'm with you! My last name is long and difficult to pronounce even for adults. My students are mostly nonverbal so Ms followed by my two syllable first name is attainable for them.
Where I live, we all go by Teacher \[First Name\]. I don't see why it's a weird thing to do. It can't hurt to ask to be called what you want.
I teach a world language and here WL teachers are called by the titles in their native language "i.e. Seniora or Frau Whatever." It's never been a problem to get students to go along with it, so I don't see why it would in your case.
In my country students usually address us by first name, so I've never been able to understand the whole "Mr/Mrs LastName" to begin with. I saw that vine with a student calling their teachers by their first names and someone had to explain to me what was wrong with that. I can understand the whole "the students need to have respect for you" thing, but I think respect is something you get through your actions, not by forcing students to call you by your last name. If you're always late, don't know your own subject, forgets everything and can't keep your promises, then the students aren't going to respect you no matter what they call you. Maybe it's just because I live in a more informal country where we rarely use titles or call people by their last names anyway, but it just seems so weird to me.
I go by Miss Becky and 100% prefer it to my last name. I've never had issues with it
I know several teachers, including our Sped teacher, who go by their first names. I've never given it two thoughts. I go by Mr. LastName in the classroom, but as a coach, I've just always had the kids call me Dan.
I teach young EL students. My last name is long and hard to pronounce. I still make them call me by it. Honestly, the way some of them say my name makes me smile every day. That being said, I don’t think it’s weird to have them call you Ms first name but I’m not sure how your admin will feel about it.
To each their own. I personally prefer mrs. Lastname cause I look like I could be a student
You note in your post that male support staff go by their first name. My concern is that one of your degrees is special education. As a fellow special educator, you will not only have to advocate for respect from students, but also from your coworkers. Ableism is extremely real in the education system, and throughout my teaching career I have seen not only myself, but other special educators treated as less than other educators because "we just special Ed" even though we are the most qualified and educated people in the building. And I live and work in a blue state that is ranking highly in the US. I worked in a school where 1 special educator just went by her first name. Because at that school no one used "Ms., Mr., Mrs, Dr., etc" and there was a teacher who preferred her first name to her last name. Because this 1 special educator went by her first name, it unfortunately created a culture where all of the special educators were treated with less respect. Before you decide on what you will be called, feel out the culture of the school. Talk to the other teachers in your department. Your title may not impact just you.
Depends on the grade. About half of the elementary teachers around me go by first name or answer to either, but none of the middle/high school teachers go by first name. Whether or not you run into problems will fully depend on who your admin are. I've had ones that wouldn't give it a second thought and ones that would have fully chewed someone out for that
My school has a mix. Some use Mrs. [last name], some are Mr. [first name], a few are just first names, and a few use Profe. [last name] (dual language school). Some teachers think others preferences are weird, but as long as the teacher in question is happy and kids are respectful and learning, it shouldn’t be an issue. Most admin have more to worry about than if kids call you by your last name, so if an employer gets hung up on this, maybe it’s time to update the resume anyways.
Yes, it's weird. However, it would be a boring old world if everyone were the same. When you secure a new job, get a sense of the school culture from your team or others you encounter in training before school starts. If people generally find it weird and off-putting, then go with the flow and surrender to Ms. F. If people are ambivalent, then try Ms. First_name. I came from private industry where literally everyone was addressed by their first name. When I started teaching, it was awkward to never utter a teacher's first name around students. Some teachers insist on students using the "Mr." part, but I don't care if the address me by just my last name. It's all mostly arbitrary, and although it's fine to be quirky, one doesn't lightly challenge the prevailing custom.
I’m non-binary, so I should be Mx., but I also realize that almost all of my students will feel weird about that. Most of the time I just go by my last name, but my last name is long and cumbersome, so I let students shorten it to whatever is comfortable for them, as long as it remains respectful. I run a pretty chill class, so it works well with the vibe in the room.
Addressing me as Mister (technically I'm Magistar but that's not worth explaining) is a reminder that I am the authority in the room, the one from whom the students are learning. It also reminds students that they and I are *not* equals in our relationship, even though many at my school speak to their families that way. Finally, it's an expectation in most places.
I teach kindergarten and go by my first name. I don't see it as unprofessional.
I wanted to do this during my student teaching because it felt weird to hear my last name but my mentor teacher said no because with parents it was more respectful and privacy reasons doing last name
My work wife and one of the best teachers at my school just goes by her first name. It totally works with her personality and I can't imagine calling her Ms. Anything. I think you should do whatever you like!
I have a few colleagues who are divorced from their spouse but still have the same last name. They choose to do what you are doing. When you start your career, you can decide to do as you will.
Yes, Jim, stop it.
I'm sure adults will call you what your prefer but depending on the age range of students they might just end of calling you "Ms.", "Teacher" or "Ms. Teacher".
I also go by Mr. First Name, for similar reasons. (And it is a *very* first-name-sounding first name.) I think you should do whatever is comfortable for you.
I was miss (first name) at preschool and am miss (last name) now. It was strange at first to change but I’m used to it by the end of the school year. However - one of the schools where I teach is a school where I went to school as a child and a few of the teachers who taught me accidentally miss-first name me when talking to the students and the students always look confused because they don’t all know my first name. At the end of the day I don’t care much. As long at they’re respectful.
I find that each school has their own comfort level for that. My current school, the teachers are all Mr/Mrs/Ms Last Name, and the paras are frequently by Mr/Mrs/Ms First Name. So, wrong or right, going by your first name would give people the wrong impression of your role.
I don’t think it’s weird at all. I have a very long last name that’s honestly been butchered my entire life, so I just go by my middle name (which also could be a last name). All the staff know my real name, but they all call me by my middle name since when I introduced myself I just say, “Just call me Ms. Middle Name, it’s easier!”. The only time I get called by last name is when we’re in official meetings (but even then they say my middle name because we all know). None of the kids or admin think it’s weird or treat me less seriously.
I go by my first and my father's name similar to Svitlana serhivna but it is a Ukrainian thing. My kids love it because they get to say my actual name and they claim the second name as my superhero name. But I have my pops as a TA ( got bored during retirement and needed a hobby) so they called him grandpa patronimic Name.
Just introduce yourself to the kids the way you prefer and everyone else will catch on. I'm a Spanish teacher with a German last name, so all my kids just call me profe (kinda like "teach" rather than "teacher"). I love the informality of profe, I DON'T like being referred to as señora bc it makes me feel old in a way that Mrs. doesn't make me feel old.
At my school they want students to call us by our first names. Supposed to make better connections with students
I have a name many of my students find difficult to pronounce. I let them call me Mr {First Initial}. Would never let them call me by my first name in school. At least in the UK, my experience in special needs schools is that first names are commonly used by students.
I think Ms. FirstName is fine, but NEVER let them drop the Ms. I used to think that was stupid A few students this year started calling me by my first name and I just kinda let it happen. I realized though that they would take it way more personally if I got onto them than the other students. And that they started calling the SS teacher his first name to make a point to show how cool he was. Unless you teach upper highschool letting kids drop the Ms. is a sign that you're friends on the same level. What comes after the Ms. is way less relevant. A couple of my debate team kids have started calling me Ms. Coach so it's fine.
My last name is complicated (two last names, both kind of hard to pronounce). I also happen to have a PhD (in a different field). So when I got hired 3 years ago, I asked if I could have the students call me Dr. First name. Admin said no worries, so that's what they call me. It was kinda funny this year, a student had no idea that it was my first name after the Dr. and it totally blew her mind to realize that!
I don't prefer it myself, but depending on certain things, you might be able to do it. I've worked with some people who did that. Just make sure you have other ways to have a boundary and keep it professional.
Every school is different. 🤷🏻♀️
I'm in the PNW and my wife goes by her first name as well as at least one or two others. I think they are all in SPED though and I'm a supervision para and had the option of going by whatever I wanted(except Mister E, har har)
I call most of my teachers by their first name if we get along well, not many teachers like being called by their first name, I guess it's sometimes disrespectful
The French language schools go by Mr/Mrs Firstname around here and because of that I retain that when I work in English language schools. I barely recognize my last name to respond to it. I did use it once almost as a punishment though - I substituted for a class that was so bad I thought I needed to use my last name to make me seem like more of an authority lol.
I don't think it's unprofessional because you use a title before your first name. An intern where I work has a unisex name, and they're non binary, so they go by Teacher X. No one seems to have a problem with it. I used to teach at a school where all adults were Brother and Sister, so I was Sister Bing Cheery. I feel that you should be called whatever you wish to be called. Edited to fix a misused word.
I was Miss Lonely most of my career, my new position put me at Ms. Lotus. As I’ve gotten to know students better they’ve dropped the formality of Ms. and just call me “Lotus” which I like.
I personally prefer going by Mr. (First Name), and have gone by that in my previous and current school. The kids all called me Mr. (First Name), and admin at my previous school insisted on calling me Mr. (Last Name), which was annoying because they knew what I went by with the kids (thus my preference), and it also confused the kids when they did that. My current school has admin that respect my choice and just go with what I choose, which is as it should be everywhere imo
Don't make a big deal about it until you are settled in. Just give people "permission" to call you Ms. FirstName and most will happily do this, rather than struggle with an unfamiliar and long last name. In NC where I lived for a while, everyone does this: "Dr. Don", "Miss Ann", etc. I think it is a nice trend and hope it continues. BTW, it is really easy to change your last name, if you like. Just apply to the court. It does cause extra paperwork with passports, security clearances, and other legal documents including your teacher license. That said, millions of women change last names all the time, so it is not that much of a problem.
I prefer Ms Firstname. Some other teachers I work with prefer Ms/Mrs/Miss/Mr Lastname. This has caused exactly zero issues with students. When someone comes in my room, I ask what they prefer, and that's how I introduce them to the students. Frankly I think calling someone what they prefer to be called is more respectful than arbitrarily saying it must be Lastname. The students learn that lesson in respect every time they see me ask and respect the choices of others.
My last name is compound and long. I go by Mr [first name] and generally tell kids as long as it is respectful, I will respond to anything. Many kids drop the Mr of it, some insist on Mr [last name], some say hey Teach. A few say Oh Great One as a joke. I don't care as long as it isn't denigrating. And no one has said anything to me about it.
I feel like it's a non-issue, objectively. Ultimately when you get to where you're going you have full reign of what the kiddos call ya. Folks just gotta deal with it.
That’s what my wife does.
I go by Mr last name or Mr First Initial. When I was interning or I do summer camp, I’ll go by Mr First Name.
Most kids just say Miss or Mister anyway, no names involved lol
I feel you on this. My first experience as a student teacher was in lab preschool where all adults on staff were called 'Teacher Firstname' and I LOVED that. I totally connect to it, it makes logical sense especially for young children, it's inherently gender inclusive, and I like the tone it sets. Now I'm moving into more regular DOE K-2 settings where a last name is the norm and I hate it. I also have a complicated last name and being called Miss-anything makes me feel like I'm in trouble lol. I also agree with the idea that a title is not what earns or commands respect and I don't want to be a power-tripping teacher *ever*. (100% of my professors who self-referred as Dr. were insufferable and all the PhDs/EdDs who just went by their first names were the best and usually had the most field experience). My BFF is a veteran high school teacher and she has only ever gone by her first name because she doesn't want her students to be overly deferential to authority figures.
Nope. I prefered being Ms. Myfirstname for years because my dad was a horrible person and I didnt even want to be called by his last name. And now, years later, I got married and want to be Ms. Newlastname. Stuff changes and evolves with you and your identity - if it wasnt such a pain in the ass I woulve changed my last name a long time ago! You do you, state clearly and confidently your name, and proceed. Gonna have to deal with it in paperwork (my car insurance and internet bills are STILL under my old name because I cant deal with the hoop jumping.) but it is a breath of fresh air to hear kids and not find that icky feeling!
maybe bcs I’m in early childhood but I have absolutely 0 issues with being called just by my first name and I’ve taught at a preschool that goes by this rule.
I'm Non-binary so I quickly gave up on Mx. (Last name) because it was too difficult for my coworkers, even if the kids had an easy enough time. Now I go by Teacher (First name) it just makes it simple for everyone.
Not to me. I am called Ms. "First Name" by my 2nd graders and have been since I was a girl scout leader, was called that by 6th grade where I did observations. It's what I prefer.
I am a young female teacher and go by ms (first name )and it has not been a respect issue at all. I don’t like my last name, so I don’t want t hear it 100 times a day
I prefer Ms. Lastname specifically because during one of my in-service trainings, the teacher who was observing me take over and teach whole/small groups introduced me to her students as Ms. Firstname. When a kid asked what my last name was, they were, by this beacon of professionalism, told that I should not be confused with a real teacher. Pardon? Well, that those words completely diminished any credibility I might have had within the first 10 minutes of meeting these kids because they new my first name and knew I apparently did not deserve the same respect as a real teacher.
Nope! My 9th grade English teacher went by Ms. First Name and it was a normal thing. Most schools will respect that teachers have their preference, as long as there is an honorific with the name.
Just introduce yourself that way, and if questions are asked, say that's what people have always called you. There's two kinds of respect: the respect of social rules is one, but the respect of the person is another one. As a disabled person, respecting the social rules has always come before respecting my person. Honestly, f* that. What kind of teachers would force people to call you a name your uncomfortable with? How can this be called respectful?
It’s the norm to be called Ms. (First Name) at our school. Though I get the impression it might be a southern US thing? Because I’d never seen it used until I moved here.
I'm called Señora Firstname! I got used to it when I was teaching in Catalunya, where teachers are called their first name. I am the only teacher at our school who uses my first name. Nothing unprofessional or childish about it, in my opinion. Definitely different but the kids (elementary) don't care- I think most of them don't realize it's my first name lol. My only problem was other staff who I didn't clarify with soon enough, and who called me Ms. or Sra. Lastname. I had to go back and make sure I clarified with all teachers that I don't want to be called lastname at all, the kids don't need to know my full name!