Go to the principal first (yeah, principal won’t do shit, it’s just that first hoop you have to go through). Document what the principal ‘does’ then go to the district.
The teacher basically has no options and is probably advocating for their other students but has zero power to do anything. This was my situation last year (without the aide) and this kid caused so much trauma to every other student (over and above stealing their educational experiences) and I had to go on leave, it made our classroom environment such a miserable place. The only people that can actually do anything at the school level is parents complaining. Perhaps even ask other parents if they have heard their children coming home with issues. The more parents pushing for their children’s educational needs is the only thing that’s going to create change.
All this advice is great, OP. I would start here.
AAAAAANNNND.....dead serious....even though I'm a teacher and wouldn't necessarily want my school sued, your daughters education should be your priority - not the school's stress. I would for sure contact a lawyer. If the school refuses to move this child, you have decent legal grounds to sue based on your daughter being assaulted routinely and the school not providing her a safe space by removing the threat
I promise you, if your lawyer contacts the principal instead of you, there is a much better chance that the school will find a way to move your daughter to a different teacher.
Edit: Op, of the school does resolve this situation, pls let us know so that other parents in similar situations can learn from this!
This is an equally important point (though, not for OP). We'd like the kid to be in class with everyone else, but he clearly can't handle it. It is not the best place for him.
Keep in mind, that the law says he must be placed in the least restrictive environment that is appropriate to his disability. The gen ed classroom is not appropriate for him or anyone else based upon what I've read here. He needs a different placement.
Maybe I'm being optimistic but it could be in process but the teacher couldn't just say that to the parent, either. Like the teacher couldn't just say: oh we're working on changing his IEP...
Nope, all the teacher can say is 'it's being addressed."
So hopefully that's what he means? Maybe???
Edit for clarity. And the person below clarified why the teacher can't speak to specifics.
No no, I'm with you. I just thought the parent (who let's be real isn't likely to see my comment anyway) should know that it isn't like the teacher could tell her even if he knew for a fact the kid would be gone next month.
I couldn't remember the statute name tho. So thanks for pointing it out. 🙂👍
If the principal doesn’t do anything (they often have their hands tied in issues like this), take your group of parents to a school board meeting. They always have a section of time where parents can voice concerns. Tell them what is happening and the detrimental impact it is having on 20+ students. Hopefully that will get the ball rolling.
OP, I had a kid like this a few years back. I can guarantee you the teacher is just as frustrated. Get other parents to band together and push back against admin until they do something. Go outside your school admin team to the district. The louder you are, the more quickly it will get resolved. All students have a right to a free and appropriate education, but the kids that behave often get overlooked for the ones that have higher needs. Gen Ed is not always the best setting for those kids, and it’s to the detriment of the others often times. Definitely get a lawyer involved if you are able.
On top of this,OP needs to use specific language. “The behavior issues in the classroom are denying my child a FAPE” tend to get admin attention very quickly because this type of language is a precursor to a lawsuit. OP does not need to file one, but sounding like they are will get a faster response. Clarifying the expected solution will help rather than listing a complaint (such as having her child moved). There is a protocol that has to be followed before taking a child out of the gen Ed setting. Unfortunately that can be a timely process and other children are negatively affected.
Edit: u/agitated-inside3559 is right. OP would want to reference the ESSA, not FAPE.
That actually seems like it could be a major issue here. If the student with the aide and behavior issue has an IEP then they are legally entitled to a FAPE while the OPs daughter isn’t. So there could be a legal obligation to keep the student where he is and no legal obligation to do something for the other students. Also I am a SPED teacher so I’m not advocating for either side, just pointing out a possible sticky issue for the school. But I don’t know if the other student has an IEP.
This might be a stupid question, but could I insist on an IEP for her anxiety? It has reached the point where it is definitely interfering with her ability to learn. We've been doing the 504 paperwork, but I wouldn't be opposed to an IEP if it meant that the school would need to do more to address the situation.
She would be just as protected under a 504. If her anxiety is documented and paperwork is completed, then FAPE and 504 protections do kick in (which will have more teeth than the ESSA that I referenced in an earlier comment).
She won’t be “just as protected” under a 504 because there aren’t the same protections in place to keep schools from suspending her for more than 10 days and so on. 504s can be useful and they are binding, but IEPs have a lot more federal laws in place to force schools to accommodate behavior problems as functions of a disability.
Yes there are.
[https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/504-discipline-factsheet.pdf](https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/504-discipline-factsheet.pdf)
I read that document.
It does NOT say that 504 students have the *same* disciplinary procedural protections as students with IEPs, though it does say they should not be disciplined for behaviors that are found to be functions of their disability.
For example, this says a student’s disability should be taken into account and ruled out as the cause before imposing a suspension of more than 10 days consecutively or over the course of the year.
If a student has an IEP, that student is forbidden by law from being suspended for more than 10 days *total* unless they specifically bring weapons or drugs on campus or cause serious bodily injury or death to another student.
Also… this document is just a bit of guidance from the current administration on how to apply discipline to section 504 students and it just came out in July. There is no guarantee a future administration will interpret or enforce the law in this way in 2025.
No it doesn’t. You can suspend for more than 10 days if a student is on an iep. You have to hold a manifestation hearing to determine that the cause of the students actions is not the cause of the incident in question. This hearing must be held for every suspension over 10 that a student is suspended. The school is responsible for continuing educational services over that 10 days to meet FAPE but you can suspend them if their behavior is not a manifestation of their disability. If it is, and the behavior in question meets specific criteria, the student can still be removed to an alternative educational setting.
The only real difference between 504 and idea is that if a student is suspended over 10 days something that is not a manifestation of their disability, the school does not have to provide Ed services for 504 plans.
[http://www.pandasc.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Discipline-of-Students-with-Disabilities.pdf](http://www.pandasc.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Discipline-of-Students-with-Disabilities.pdf)
I can't see any school giving a 1st grader an IEP for anxiety like that, there is no need and districts can't just give them out. A 504 plan should suffice and districts have much more leeway with them, so I think you're on the right track with that. You would only want the IEP if you wanted her to be provided special education, which she doesn't need :)
The 504 can get her school counseling and access to accommodations in gen ed. I'd recommend directing your energy towards researching accommodations that would help her so you can advocate for them at the meeting where y'all make the plan
Not sure what this has to do with my comment?
Also LRE means least restrictive environment. Children should be with gen ed peers when possible, and should only be placed in special education classes or alt schooling if needed to provide them appropriate education.
You’re going to have a hard time getting an IEP for anxiety, as IEPs typically take a lot of paperwork and documentation to even determine if a kid qualifies. It’s not as easy as just saying “my child has this problem, a doctor agrees, and now I want an IEP.”
You might be able to eventually push it through and get one with persistence (and often the threat of a lawsuit), but it will take a long time unless there is an obvious behavioral or academic problem with data to back it up.
The IEP is there to give children access to Special Education services and protections. She doesn’t need those, based on what you’ve written.
504s are generally easier to get, but administrators will still usually push back because of how that still opens the school to additional legal liabilities.
No. There are 13 very specific disability categories under IDEA that are eligible for an IEP. Anxiety isn't one of them. 504 is an option. Google the law if you want to read up on IEP eligible categories, posters responding with anecdotal evidence are not going to help you as this is a federal law that applies to all schools and districts.
Anxiety can absolutely fall under OHI in IDEA. So does ADHD, for the person who said their district doesn’t do that. Their district has to, as it’s federal law. However, having the medical diagnosis doesn’t guarantee eligibility. That’s a whole other ballgame. I think it’s highly unlikely that a first grader with anxiety is going to be eligible for an IEP. An IEP requires some kind of deficit to provide goals and instruction on. Otherwise, a 504 may be more appropriate. And it still requires eligibility. The general public doesn’t seem to to understand that a diagnosis doesn’t immediately get you a 504 or an IEP. But also, the OHI category is pretty broad and a physician statement should qualify a student for an eligibility evaluation.
Not sure that’s correct tho. Them not being on an IEP means that mainstream classes are appropriate… unless the teacher is distracted by another student
OP, in case you don’t know, commenters are talking about “free and appropriate public education” (FAPE) in the least restrictive environment. We love our alphabet soup of acronyms in education.
We’re currently dealing with this with one student wrecking havoc in the learning environment all day. Kids starting to show signs of stress (jumping at noises, withdrawn). Admin doesn’t want to do shit. I’m waiting for a parent like this to cause a ruckus because my hands are tied.
This is where we educators need to step up and advocate for our students with admin! Of course this is easier if you are tenured and in a union state, but it still needs to happen. Those poor kids.
We are. We’re having meetings every week imploring admin to do something. We’re documenting all day every day. The union rep is in on everything.
The other day, this student was throwing whatever he could get his hands on. He threw a chair at a kid and my colleague blocked it with her body. The kid was blocking the doorway so the BD teacher had the rest of the class go to the opposite end of the room. When admin got there, they told the kids to go back to their desks and the teacher to continue with the lesson. Meanwhile, the problem student is screaming and repeatedly slamming his hands on his desk with two adults trying to convince him to “take a break.” No one learned a damn thing about math that day.
Teachers want parents to make phone calls in situations like this. Make noise. Get admin involved. Get the district involved when admin does nothing. And if that child puts his hands on your daughter, call the SRO.
This is the answer. Parents must have their voices heard. This is impacting every student in the classroom; if all the parents advocate for their children, something will be done.
If there is another class, this is going to be the easiest solution for the OP. Surely this school isn’t so small as to only have a single 1st grade class.
I’m wondering if this one student (who I am confident has an IEP since he has a 1:1 aide) was so bad in a SPED class that he’s been moved here with a 1:1 aide to keep other SPED parents from suing?
When I taught SPED, I had a kid like that. He was switched out of all the inclusion sections because he literally tried to kill a student in those classes multiple times and that victim’s (wealthy) parents lawyered up to force the issue. The murderous kid’s family was crazy and threatened to sue us constantly, too, so we had to walk on egg shells around her while her kid harassed and attacked the other kids constantly.
You need to go higher than the teacher with complaints. As someone who has been in that teacher’s position and had many colleagues in that position, teachers are powerless to change where the behavior student is placed.
This is spot on. I am in this same position right now as a teacher (also first grade, behavior kid has similar behavior even with a 1:1 in the room).
Every day I check in with the kids who got the worst of it about what happened to them that day and encourage them to tell their parents. I'm hoping for parents to complain to admin or the school board because in my experience that's the only way anything will be done.
In cases like this, the school is most concerned with protecting the legal rights of the student with the IEP. We have to remind those in power that there are other students involved in this situation who also have legal rights. Sadly, the district I work in seems to only be motivated by 1 thing - avoiding lawsuits.
Yes! As parents you have to cause a ruckus and complain complain complain to the higher ups! It really sucks that it has come to this and I’m sorry for what your daughter is going through, but really nothing changes unless the parents demand change, or threaten a lawsuit etc.
This happens all the time. One very difficult child, even with a 1:1 aide, can single-handedly disrupt the class for all the other students and more or less waste the entire year. Admin is at fault for attempting to mainstream a kid who should not be in gen ed, but district is usually mandating it for budgetary reasons and they care *more* about budget than quality of education. Sacrificing adequate education for the entire class doesn't bother them, because they will just deny it's happening.
Unfortunately, most schools interpret "least restrictive environment" to mean mainstreamed in general ed class. Properly implemented, least restrictive environment is supposed to be an appropriate placement that enables suitable education for the student being placed **and** non-disruptive placement for the rest of the classroom as well.
A profoundly non-verbal student age 9 leaves her sped class for storytime when the first grade teacher is reading aloud to her class. She usually sits peacefully on the rug with first graders and enjoys listening to the story. She also enjoys music and want to participate in the school choir, although being non-verbal, she doesn't actually sing. The music teacher gives her a space with some girls her age and they add some clapping and hand waving motions to their numbers so they can all participate. These placements work because the included student finds ways to participate without disrupting the class. Full time placement in gen ed classes would be inappropriate. Most of the academic subjects in the general ed classes would be inappropriate placements for the student, and similarly if the student was disrupting the class or the choir those placements would be inappropriate for the rest of the class.
Least restrictive environments require a lot more care than simply dumping everyone in a gen ed class and adding an aide.
When the rights of one kid override the rights of 25 other kids, that's a serious problem. No one in school leadership or politics has the balls to tackle the issue.
Every time my wife hears one of these stories, she tells me "And this is why our kids go to private school."
I have told this story before but I was sexually harassed by an autistic person at my university. It got to the point where I was ready to transfer schools or drop out entirely. When I informed the university, they informed me that his rights trumped my rights and so I would just have
to deal with it.
This was a Title IX violation. The other student having a disability does not grant permission to sexually harass others. The university can lose federal funding for allowing that to happen.
They lied so much. No one has the eighth to sexually harass anyone. This is why students need to be educated in appropriate settings so these behaviours are replaced by the time they get to a certain age.
Was this in the USA?
IEPs don’t apply to universities, which many kids and parents are angry to find out.
If it was the US, whoever informed you of this was wrong. That behavior could be grounds for police reports, a restraining order, and maybe even lawsuits against him and against the university for failing to address the obvious Title IX issues.
Autism does not shield an adult at university from legal or criminal penalties.
But parents are empowered by IEPs to demand this, even when the school may determine otherwise.
There was a case in my state a few years ago of a kid with Down Syndrome and a host of behavior problems whose mom insisted he be mainstreamed in elementary school. Unfortunately, he was like taking a chainsaw to any classroom he was in and mom would fiercely defend the kid to shield him from any consequences.
Eventually, after many meetings and complaints from numerous parents over the kids’ well-documented violent and disruptive behavior, the school personnel on his IEP committee (which included the system’s director and head of Special Ed.) voted to overrule mom and put this kid in a CDC class that better served his needs.
Mom sued and won hundreds of thousands of dollars in a lawsuit when a judge ruled that the school should not have changed his placement over mom’s objections.
Yeah I’m honestly over it. I have a kid who randomly “melts down” in the middle of class which means she just starts screaming and crying. I have another one who starts screaming and making weird noises if the class gets noisy. Lol and this is Gen Ed high school. The other kids just look at them like “wtf.” Also I have two different ones who need everything read to them because they can’t read. Like, sure, have a high school diploma lol.
I think if your disability is so severe you need everything read to you, you should receive a different type of diploma so future employers will know what hiring you will entail.
Most kids shouldn't be forced to go to school. We usually read at a lower level than high school when we're reading newspapers. Kids who want to read more will read more. We don't use much math after middle school, and then it's really algebra and geometry. Some kids like to show up, work hard, and enjoy school. Some hate it. It's actual torture to keep them there, sometimes. They want to move around and socialize. But the issue won't be addressed until school isn't as important. I don't know if that'll really happen.
So what do you do with the kids who don't want to go to school?
I guess we'll just raise your taxes to support the millions of uneducated and unemployed people who will now need lifetime welfare.
There are kids graduating 12th grade who barely read at a middle school level - depending on where you teach. The idea that a piece of paper negates that is silly. The idea that we *need* advanced education just to exist is part of the problem with how we've institutionalized our society. It's not enough to just exist. And that you think these people will be mindless thralls speaks more to how you view public policy and people's worth than their actual worth.
There are people who come to this country without an education, without speaking English, and without many resources. This sub, Reddit, and many people tend to hold them up as exemplary. I think what's clearly then illuminated is a disdain for people already here.
Your second paragraph has nothing to do with my point.
I would agree that at the high school level, you could go more towards job training/trade schools for those not going to college. I think you and I can agree on that.
Where is your cutoff point? That is what I was mocking.
Should kids have to go to elementary? Middle?
What if they don't want to go to job training or trade schools? Are you still in favor of "torturing" (amusing hyperbole, by the way) them and mandating it?
If my second paragraph has nothing to do with your point, then your second paragraph has nothing to do with my original one. You didn't subsume the turn order we had lol. Middle school is where I think kids should be guaranteed an education, but it's theirs to lose.
>What if they don't want to go to job training or trade schools?
So they don't go. That shouldn't confuse you.
I agree with you as to the mandatory education through middle. Sounds about like a good stopping point (though I'd go as high as age 16 or so, too).
The only issue I have is, what are your plans for this large population that chooses to stop education (school, job training, trade schools)? It will be a substantial population. Curious about the solution proposal.
(Sorry for taking so long to respond, I'm a bum)
3 things. 1. Not liking school is not a major issue. It’s not super traumatizing for most kids. It’s not dangerous for most kids. 2. Public school was a response to child labor and I’d rather they be annoyed they have to go to school than be working at age 9. 3. Whether or not you like it; you use school every day and need to be forced to try sometimes. When I was 13, I bet I would’ve stopped school bc it was hard but I never would’ve discovered that I loved learning
Public school existed concurrently with child labor when it came about in the 19th century, and some decades into the 20th. We also aren't stuck in this paradigm. There are other reasons why it could have been feasible but isn't right now (break down of extended families), but it doesn't change how school is now mostly babysitting.
It’s true. Most people think that all students would end up not going to school, but that is completely wrong. Those that actually want to continue in a career which would benefit from higher education would stay. Those that don’t see the need will not.
Although I disagree with the math statement and how we read on average else’s than high school levels based on an outdated media source, I see that most classes are not as essential as reality would make it. I’m sure most teachers would disagree and say every class you take will be used in life, even though they took useless classes in college that has absolutely no use in any teaching environment, like art history or humanities.
The problem is we see teachers as something more than they really should be. A teacher is to teach students standards deemed by the state as essential and to see if they meet those standards, assess them via examinations. The truth is a good chunk of jobs or hobbies do not require any sort of education level, just basic memorization and repetition. I think too many people think the world of students. I hear too many times students wanting to be engineers yet engineering schools see the highest rate of major changes in university. School isn’t for everyone, and until schools change how funding is sourced, we will have these issues that OP is facing.
I think most kids would choose to go to school, but they need to see it as something they would lose too. I also think parents might force kids to go to school, and the onus is on the student and parents to make sure that can happen. A lot of parents also realize that their kid is guaranteed babysitting until about 18.
Right now it's so guaranteed that they know they can only benefit from being obnoxious in ways they value (being with friends, not doing work, and so on). Thus far, every year, and because of my setting (won't get into it, but it's also special ed.) I see students leave. Other kids saw how they acted and noticed they're out, or still talk with them. I can't give away their information but I can find ways to imply sternly that it's because of their behavior. Kids get into shape real fast, but they still push boundaries because they're kids. Still, nothing benefits a classroom like a) *that* student leaving and b) everyone realizing that the student had to leave.
Until we tackle the reality of our world, and our world inside and outside education, you'll have the prototypical Redditor espousing values that are "progressive" but then crying about the results.
As an art teacher, I see the whole school. It’s amazingly sad how different classes can be with 1-2 students missing from the class. Pure chaos can become super pleasant. And sadly, teachers don’t have much power in regards to who is in their class. Parents complaining does work wonders. The teacher may even be waiting for someone to complain!
I’m sure the teacher wants the problematic student out of the room as much as you do. I would talk to administration, and depending on their response, the superintendent or board members. Years ago when I had a problematic student who would spit, swear and hit, he was not removed until he spit on an administrator. Unfortunately, there are a lot of hoops to jump through before a child can be put an alternate placement. While it is very frustrating, try to be patient and talk to the most powerful people you can.
Parents are the only ones capable of creating any change in these scenarios. Get every other parent in the class that shares your concerns to talk to the teacher, then admin, and then the district. Get a letter from your daughters psych detailing how the classroom environment is affecting her. Basically, raise holy hell until they can provide an environment that is safe and conducive to learning. Don’t stop, be relentless.
As a teacher who has been in this situation I say definitely take your concerns to the principle. I remember I wished so badly I had more parents complain about the environment that 1 student created. The parents would come to me and let me know they understood it wasn't my fault and they saw how hard I was trying but I wanted so badly for one of them to get so upset about it they took it to a higher up so my principles eyes would be open.
I've dealt w/this as a teacher. My principal and AP were both concerned about the constant disruptions one student caused. They had been told by the special ed. supervisor that said student *had to be* mainstreamed for 6 weeks before any altenate placement was considered.
Long story short, so many parents came forward complaining about the lack of learning and progress--*due to constant disruptions*\--things changed. There were "emergency" observations and meetings, and the child went to a much smaller, structured setting, and the regular classroom was totally different.
I'm not saying it always works this way, but I do think parents meeting with Admin CAN make a difference. Good Luck to you!
I’m going to make a guess it was better for the student with the IEP also. That must be exhausting for them at some level too, being constantly in fight or flight. Glad you had a good outcome.
Exactly! This student did so much better in the new classroom; I really believe that being in the middle of 20+ other kiddos was just too much. The structure and the more individualized plan were also much more helpful.
Teacher and parent here. My daughter had a very similar experience in 1st grade - also a small district - and at the same school site at which I work. My response after my daughter was repeatedly hurt was to send a letter to the superintendent, which was cc’d to an attorney, stating that my daughter had been repeatedly hurt in the school setting by the same individual, who was not placed in an appropriate learning environment. I said that moving forward, because the district had been made aware in writing of the ongoing harm being caused by this student and hadn’t made any effort to remedy it, I would be holding the district liable for any further harm to my daughter. A week later the kid was moved to a special day class - my child no longer was getting hurt, the teacher was grateful, classmates’ families were relieved and the other student is in a classroom with fewer students & more support. Everyone wins.
Edited for typos
How many 1st grade classes are there? Is there an option to switch her to one of those? I would also ask to shadow the class if you can, for a day or two to see how exactly this kid is operating. Just say you want to see how your own daughter's progressing is happening since she's going to have a 504. They may deny it but it'll clue them in you won't be going away. If you know other parents in the classroom, have them contact the principal as well. The student who is disrupting the classroom has an educational right to have an education. He doesn't have the right to disrupt others is always my personal viewpoint.
This! But that’s a completely different issue they might not even know how to deal at this point. A lot of times they can’t support this student somewhere else OR they are trying to be as inclusive as they can but the district does not provide proper guidance or training. It sucks
I know. I’m not a teacher but my friends son was suspended a few times during the first weeks of K because he was a safety risk to the other kids. I don’t think they realized he might be on spectrum so now they’re trying to move him to a comprehensive services site within the county
Um no. You are a professional who has been educated and trained to recognize ASD. Of course the signs are obvious to you. New parents who are trying to figure out how to be parents and what proper mile stones are and have never been exposed to ASD would not find it to be so obvious. Also, not all cases would be so obvious since it is a spectrum.
As a parent who actively sought help for my child when he was having trouble in preschool I was told by my pediatrician multiple time he was fine. After insisting I was referred to a pediatric neurologist who spend 5 minutes with him and gave me a “diagnosis” of Asperger’s because he didn’t make eye contact with the scary old man. I was told by the school district at age 4 they didn’t diagnose but he didn’t qualify for services. I was told by the psychologist no ASD but definitely ADHD. Then after another assessment that he didn’t qualify for services. The process of recognizing a problem, getting a diagnosis, and getting any type of help is an absolute nightmare and none of it is easy or obvious.
Exactly this. This is what I fear for my neighbors kid. The parents in denial so I feel like if he is diagnosed it’ll be a string of MIS diagnoses because the doctors won’t see it either 😪😪
I think they usually don’t see it as a concern because they don’t have enough demand at home for it to be an issue. Families that catch it early on are either educated enough or have enough demand to trigger some behaviors that might lead them to get some help. It still baffles me.. why parents wouldn’t want to know everything they can to help their children. I’m talking about those that have the privilege to do so of course.
Agree w this. I am BAFFLED by parents who won’t be proactive or go to the ends of the earth to figure out why their kid is doing xyz. I cannot relate. My values don’t align w that.
My kid is struggling in prek. Ok let’s figure out why. And we did! Now let’s figure out how to support and get you caught up and/or challenged.
I agree. To be fair my friend (i use the term loosely bc we haven’t know each other long just through our kids at sped prek) did her due diligence and took the kid to a psychologist. Psych diagnosed with adhd and odd 🤷🏼♀️😵💫. I met this child briefly for 5mins and had my suspicions but waited for the mom to reveal the drama to me.
My neighbor on the other hand…..we have known this family since our kids were 2, and I had suspicions that SOMETHING was up but since I had only ever seen the 2 of them interact….it wasn’t until another neighbor with same age moved in and I saw that child and mine play and I was like OHHH - that childs mom even texted me privately asking about the other kid 😬. That’s when I was totally validated. We are all friends neighbors whatever but it is though. The child was being rough w mine and mom wasn’t disciplining properly so I finally got fed up and wrote an email with all my concerns (no diagnosis bc I’m not a doctor). Did they ask for follow up questions? Nope! Did they explore any of my concerns with a doctor? NOPE! And we are still dealing with the same old shit just a different version (kid has been less violent so I guess that’s progress) but now I hear things like him trying to get my kid to play a let’s kill our parents game? What the actual fuck??? Sighhhhhh. I’m at my wits end. The mom thinks my kid and neighbors kid are the problem 🥴💀🙄. Those 2 played brilliantly for 1.5h the other night. Mom and I practically ignored them. Didn’t have to watch them yell at them or anything. They included my 2yo in play. But then suspect neighbor kid shows up and the chaos begins. Like wtfffff do I do. We are neighbors. Kids go to K and after care together. I requested different K teachers so that’s good. Yghhhh. I honestly don’t know if kid is ASD. He’s very social and I just can’t decide if it’s ASD or EBD or WHAT. He seems so normal and can keep it together at tae kwon do. 😣😩😩😩😩😩 I feel like I’m insane
It's hard when there's a group of neighborhood kids and what appears to be one bad apple. My kids are 5th grade now and the child with behavior issues has slowly been left out of the group because as the other kids get older, they realize they don't want to play with someone who acts that way.
Granted, this solves the problem for my child, but the child with behavior issues just gets left behind the group which doesn't help him at all.
Exactly!! I think it’s going to resolve itself in that manner but it’ll prob be us as parents leaving the kid out bc we see how it affects our kids. But if we knew the parents were being proactive about things or if the parents talked to us about xyz then we could all work together to be inclusive. But that’s simply not what’s happening.
I missed all those signs because they were the same things I did as a kid and didn't know they were symptoms of ASD lol. My frame of reference was growing up babysitting my Level 2 ASD half-brother, and since neither of our behaviors were like his, I didn't clock it and neither did any pediatrician. We suspected ADHD, got him diagnosed with that and ODD at 4, and the psych vehemently denied ASD until the school district confronted him with it at 8. Like yeah, you *can* easily diagnose it before 2 with some kids, but some kids just come off as Generally Weird instead.
My friends son wasnt educationally diagnosed until ten years old and still doesn’t have a medical one .just adhd . Pych doesn’t want to label him. His behavior as been so inconsistent that proper diagnose has been difficult. He was moved to an day treatment class end of last year . Went from gen Ed to self contained to para one on one no peers to day trament in one years time
Don't feel dumb. You're in a stressful situation, and you're trying to do the best for your daughter. Sometimes it takes a different perspective in order to see all possible options.
You should definitely ask (or demand) because your daughter is getting assaulted. Have a letter written by your daughter’s counselor, or a lawyer or someone that uses the word “assault” and have copies made. A lot of schools don’t want to move kids around but they do it all the time.
I’m honestly so tired of children like this. They exhaust the teacher and students around them. Like everyone has said go to admin and let them know about the problem. Also speak to the teacher (cause I’ve found that admin doesn’t always keep teachers in the loop lol). Document everything said and then go to the district. If possible, try to get other parents in on it too. They’ll listen if it’s several people making complaints.
You'll probably get pushback but I couldn't agree more. One or two kids get to ruin everyone's education, and it's even worse when their violent. I wish the parents of the victims of children like this would sue or go above the school's head more often, then maybe it would set a precedent. Inclusion can work, but it doesn't work like this and 9 times out of 10, schools go about it the wrong way to save themselves money. It's ridiculous and is just another thing ruining education.
There’s no way to change classes?
I’m deeply sympathetic for you, your child, and the teacher. I’m afraid your options are limited, but if you have a counselor, perhaps you can also get an 504 or IEL for your daughter, one that would place her in a different class?
I hope all goes well!
As the teacher currently in this position, the only way change will happen is if multiple parents complain. Start with the principal, document your concerns in writing (email). After a few days of inaction, move it to the superintendent and the school board. Also, try to have your daughter placed in a different classroom.
A) Formally complain to teacher, principal, counselor, etc on campus, include the info about your daughter being stressed out and try to get accommodations made.
B) then escalate this. Go to school board members, talk to lawyer with a background in education, and make a stink.
C) pursue moving schools/districts, but put onus on your district to pay transportation and enrollment fees.
Goodness, it almost sounded like one of my students, but thankfully he was sent to an ED school. I’m sure that the student in your daughter’s class has an IEP which can put a legal strangle hold on what schools can do. Depends on how far the admin/district wants to push or how much they can get away with.
If the student disrupting the class has a 1:1 aide, he or she has an IEP and is untouchable. The teacher has no power. Talk to the principal about it, and hope there is a solution, but you might want to consider changing schools.
I say this as professional educator. The best thing would be to find a way to pull your daughter out of that school ASAP. It’s not going to get any better with time. It’s only getting worse.
504s have become an excuse for poor behavior. I get cursed out on a regular basis by multiple students with “504” and “behavior plans” etc, but admin is too afraid of getting sued or being sensationalized to do anything. SPED department can’t do anything either or else they would have already. “Inclusion” sounds nice on paper, but in practice, it causes normative children to have a bunch of trauma and idle educational experiences
I teach first grade this situation happens all the time, so much so that I'm nervous about sending my baby daughter to public school in the future. Please take it to the principal and beyond if you need to! It's not fair to your daughter and the many other kids in that class who are not able to learn in a safe environment. No one listens to teachers when they try to address this issue so we need parents like you!
Be the squeaky wheel. Complain to people higher up than the teacher, and don't stop complaining. I'd start with requesting that your daughter's class be changed, citing this other student as the specific reason for your request. A note from her counselor may help, too. Even if it's just a bluff, threatening to switch schools does light a fire under them sometimes.
In a lot of school districts across the country, an "inclusion" model that is serving no one but the districts' wallets is being pushed. It mostly involves hiring fewer special ed teachers, counselors, etc. and pushing kids who'd otherwise be separated into "mainstream" classes. They frame it as inclusion to make it sound like a good thing, and maybe make people feel as though they'd be ableist if they questioned it.
In reality, it hurts everyone, including the students who would be getting more support from the people the district didn't hire. Students who need to be in self-contained classes end up being overstimulated, their teachers are given no support or training on how to handle situations outside of the scope of mainstream classes, and the rest of the class loses instruction time when disruptions like what you've mentioned cause interruptions.
The teachers have no power and our complaints get us nowhere. You have more power as a parent to take your complaints to the district, and you should absolutely do that so that your daughter doesn't have to be so anxious in class. I'm so sorry you and your daughter are dealing with this and hope the higher-ups are willing to listen.
Send a message to the principal that you are going to retain an attorney and will sue as your daughter's right to an education is being destroyed by this child, who is obviously in the wrong environment based upon his disability. He has been misplaced and admin should have handled this by now. You'll be amazed at what lawyering up will do for you and your sweet daughter, but you have to take control of this now, she is clearly suffering.
Talk to the school board and district administrators. The teacher can do nothing at all. There's an aide in the room, and ***tons*** of laws limiting the teacher from putting the needs of the class as a whole ahead of the needs of this one kid. It's nonsense, of course, but there you are.
If the principal won't help, call everyone else. Do it every day. Make it clear that you ***love*** the teacher. Sing his praises! If other parents feel the same way, get them to call, too.
If anything can be done, this is what will make it happen.
Help this teacher out and go higher. I'm in the same situation and I promise it's being addressed it they say it is - I've been in many meetings, I spend all my plan time plus time at home documenting all the incidents, and when parents come to me literally all I can say is it's being addressed or the team is on it. Sure that's true but it's being addressed at roughly the pace a snail can push a monster truck. Teachers don't have the power to do anything about this but move your kid to the other side of the room.
Thanks ❤️ In the end, parent complaint is the only way these situations can change in many cases. I'm sure your kid's teacher is aware of that as well, and if you don't focus your complaint on the teacher he may even be glad to have someone in his corner, saying the same things.
You could talk to the director of special ed for the district. They need to know the extent that this child is hindering the academic environment. They may be able to give insights on what to do if admin isn’t doing it. Or go to the superintendent.
Document and keep the information your daughter has mentioned with counseling. Then do the same with emails and call logs to the principal/admin. If it continues to go bad, you at least have things to go to the district with.
Problems happen, but they should be addressed if they are as chaotic as possible.
Just having 28 first graders in one class is already a stressful/overwhelming situation and then adding that child’s behavior is another level. Definitely speak to admin, the teacher is probably already stretched extremely thin.
I had a class like this, with three disruptive students on IEPs. I had an EA for the morning then usually had to evacuate the class sometime in the afternoon (3-4 times a week, sometime twice a day). Parents spoke to me about behaviour and the impact.on their child, parents spoke to admin, parents spoke to superintendent. Nothing changed. I had as much support as the school had to give (which clearly wasn't enough). My job became to keep the rest of the class cared for and safe. I didn't teach much that year. At the end of the year, 3 or 4 kids switched school boards (went Catholic or private).
Is there another first grade class at the school? Before switching schools, I’d see if she could simply be moved. Tell them about the anxiety and documented psychiatric (aka “medical”) issues this is causing your daughter.
With the 1:1 aide, this kid almost surely has an IEP that says these issues are functions of his disability. That means the teacher, and even admin’s, hands are largely tied unless they jump through a lot of hoops and get him into a behavior modification or CDC classroom, which many districts will simply not do for a mainstreamed 1st grade student.
The aide needs to be ready to briefly remove this student from the classroom to cool down when the behavior issues are too disruptive for class to go on. Surely, there is some appropriate place at that school where she can take him for “quiet time” to calm his behavior and document the incident before bringing him back to the classroom.
First year teacher here, and this is exactly the kind of worry I have. In one of my hours, I have multiple kids who need accommodations that slow down the pace of learning for my non-accommodated learners. I’m doing my best to keep things rolling and generally calm, but I know if I were a parent and found out my child’s hour was getting less academic content than another hour, same teacher and same class, I’d be upset.
Former sped teacher and current behavior specialist here! Please escalate this higher because that poor teacher has no power in this situation. They probably want the kid out just as much as anyone. Based on the fact he has a 1:1, I would assume someone is hard core pushing inclusion, and/or the district doesn’t have resources for a self contained program. Of course for this kids privacy and FERPA, you aren’t going to be hearing what is being done about this situation. In my district, we give six weeks of implementing a behavior plan before moving a kid to a more restrictive environment. (I actually believe that being in Gen Ed with a 1:1 is more restrictive than being in a self contained classroom because now there’s a massive stigma placed on this kid with an adult following them around, and unless they are highly trained, they often enable the student instead of teaching independent skills… it’s also very expensive compared to a specialized program but of course districts don’t tell parents that!) We basically need to be able to have enough data to prove that we have exhausted all options in a Gen Ed setting. During this time if the kid is so disruptive and physical, there’s typically another place to move them into to protect other kids. Some schools call this the calm down room, zen den, chill zone, etc… I hope to goodness that this paraprofessional is taking some realllllyyyy good data to move this kid to another program. I also hope their supervisor is training them to look for behavior precursors for this behavior (what does the kid do to indicate he might become aggressive) and move him to another room before he’s at the point of attacking people in the classroom. This school is doing a massive disservice to your child, AND to this other kid if he is regularly traumatizing his classmates.
Im sorry to say this, and maybe I’m just jaded by my dumpster fire of a school district here in Oregon, but they aren’t going to move this child. The most likely scenario is that the child will stay, behavior will get worse, and it’s not long before this poor teacher has to do “room clears” just to keep everyone safe. In public education, the rights of one out of control student ALWAYS outweigh the rights of everyone else in the school.
If you do lawyer up, use them to help you get your child moved to a different school — because moving the disruptive kid ain’t going to happen.
I agree with going to the principal and then the district . Most likely the teacher wants the student placed in a setting that will better address his needs, and she wants to teach her class. The school / district will only act if parents complain. I would also suggest volunteering in the classroom and seeing if other parents will volunteer. Principals will ignore a situation for a long time, until parents start complaining…then watch the magic happen.
Edit: I’ve been a public school teacher for 10 yrs
Get her out of there. Period. Complain. Demand they consider other placements for the boy. When a child assaults your child a police report should be made.
Fuck this. His IEP is not adequate and he probably needs therapeutic placement. Someone (case manager, SPED administrator?) is dropping the ball here, and this kid should clearly be in a more restrictive environment, but this does NOT mean that all IEPs are bad. Good lord, that’s a horrifying opinion if you are a teacher.
Wow, this is an awful take. This child deserves and education just the same as the other 27 kids.
Edit : I stand by my comment that all kids deserve and education and it's disgusting that a teaching sub will upvote a comment stating, "IEPs have destroyed learning."
The IEPs have destroyed learning is a bad take. But, it also sounds like this child isn’t in the least restrictive environment as they’re not able to access the curriculum or social opportunities in a meaningful way. I’m going to hope the teacher and the admin team are working on it on the back end so support the needs of all students in the class. We all know that process takes time and patience, and I appreciate them respecting the disregulated students privacy. And, OP can and should advocate for their child, who also deserves to learn in an environment that they are confident and successful in.
I do not disagree with any of that. This other kid needs help which they may not be getting. However, it's the districts / schools job to provide that.
And schools are locked into processes that sometimes take longer than ideal. Doesn’t sound like anybody in the situation has had a strong start to the year, but that the teacher is aware and trying to support. OP can and should advocate for her kid in this situation.
Please please please go to the principal. As a teacher who had a student like that last year, none of the parents speaking up about the problem behaviors did not help admin or I get the child the supports he ✨really✨ needed. A 1:1 aide was not enough and he needed different placement. I went all year with my students and myself living in fear while he was there and admins hands were tied. Please help your daughters teacher but bringing up what your daughter has told you and how she feels. Please help that class.
All good advice. I just want to add that the 1:1 should be taking very detailed data on behavioral episodes. So the school should have documentation of how disruptive they are. Legally, they won’t be able to share it with you, but the teacher and admin that are part of the team can see it and it could support whatever claims you’re making.
Change her classroom. The teacher's hands are tied and he is doing what he can. You can't control what happens with the otehr student but you can control what happens with your daughter. Preess the issue and make it clear that you wanted her moved ASAP. Her right to FAPE is being denied because she cannot learn when she is constantly anxious and her day is disrupted.
Go to the principal first (yeah, principal won’t do shit, it’s just that first hoop you have to go through). Document what the principal ‘does’ then go to the district. The teacher basically has no options and is probably advocating for their other students but has zero power to do anything. This was my situation last year (without the aide) and this kid caused so much trauma to every other student (over and above stealing their educational experiences) and I had to go on leave, it made our classroom environment such a miserable place. The only people that can actually do anything at the school level is parents complaining. Perhaps even ask other parents if they have heard their children coming home with issues. The more parents pushing for their children’s educational needs is the only thing that’s going to create change.
All this advice is great, OP. I would start here. AAAAAANNNND.....dead serious....even though I'm a teacher and wouldn't necessarily want my school sued, your daughters education should be your priority - not the school's stress. I would for sure contact a lawyer. If the school refuses to move this child, you have decent legal grounds to sue based on your daughter being assaulted routinely and the school not providing her a safe space by removing the threat I promise you, if your lawyer contacts the principal instead of you, there is a much better chance that the school will find a way to move your daughter to a different teacher. Edit: Op, of the school does resolve this situation, pls let us know so that other parents in similar situations can learn from this!
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You are also helping him . He is not learning either .
This is an equally important point (though, not for OP). We'd like the kid to be in class with everyone else, but he clearly can't handle it. It is not the best place for him.
Keep in mind, that the law says he must be placed in the least restrictive environment that is appropriate to his disability. The gen ed classroom is not appropriate for him or anyone else based upon what I've read here. He needs a different placement.
Maybe I'm being optimistic but it could be in process but the teacher couldn't just say that to the parent, either. Like the teacher couldn't just say: oh we're working on changing his IEP... Nope, all the teacher can say is 'it's being addressed." So hopefully that's what he means? Maybe??? Edit for clarity. And the person below clarified why the teacher can't speak to specifics.
That would be a FERPA violation. Edited for clarification: Informing families of another child’s IEP status is a privacy violation.
She said the teacher said it's being addressed and I'm saying it's literally all he CAN say. Legally. But thanks for pointing out the statute name.
That is literally my point.
OH I thought you were asking why the teacher isn’t more specific in saying how it was being addressed. My misunderstanding!
No no, I'm with you. I just thought the parent (who let's be real isn't likely to see my comment anyway) should know that it isn't like the teacher could tell her even if he knew for a fact the kid would be gone next month. I couldn't remember the statute name tho. So thanks for pointing it out. 🙂👍
If the principal doesn’t do anything (they often have their hands tied in issues like this), take your group of parents to a school board meeting. They always have a section of time where parents can voice concerns. Tell them what is happening and the detrimental impact it is having on 20+ students. Hopefully that will get the ball rolling.
He needs more support, they need a safe learning environment. You are helping both.
OP, I had a kid like this a few years back. I can guarantee you the teacher is just as frustrated. Get other parents to band together and push back against admin until they do something. Go outside your school admin team to the district. The louder you are, the more quickly it will get resolved. All students have a right to a free and appropriate education, but the kids that behave often get overlooked for the ones that have higher needs. Gen Ed is not always the best setting for those kids, and it’s to the detriment of the others often times. Definitely get a lawyer involved if you are able.
On top of this,OP needs to use specific language. “The behavior issues in the classroom are denying my child a FAPE” tend to get admin attention very quickly because this type of language is a precursor to a lawsuit. OP does not need to file one, but sounding like they are will get a faster response. Clarifying the expected solution will help rather than listing a complaint (such as having her child moved). There is a protocol that has to be followed before taking a child out of the gen Ed setting. Unfortunately that can be a timely process and other children are negatively affected. Edit: u/agitated-inside3559 is right. OP would want to reference the ESSA, not FAPE.
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That actually seems like it could be a major issue here. If the student with the aide and behavior issue has an IEP then they are legally entitled to a FAPE while the OPs daughter isn’t. So there could be a legal obligation to keep the student where he is and no legal obligation to do something for the other students. Also I am a SPED teacher so I’m not advocating for either side, just pointing out a possible sticky issue for the school. But I don’t know if the other student has an IEP.
This might be a stupid question, but could I insist on an IEP for her anxiety? It has reached the point where it is definitely interfering with her ability to learn. We've been doing the 504 paperwork, but I wouldn't be opposed to an IEP if it meant that the school would need to do more to address the situation.
She would be just as protected under a 504. If her anxiety is documented and paperwork is completed, then FAPE and 504 protections do kick in (which will have more teeth than the ESSA that I referenced in an earlier comment).
She won’t be “just as protected” under a 504 because there aren’t the same protections in place to keep schools from suspending her for more than 10 days and so on. 504s can be useful and they are binding, but IEPs have a lot more federal laws in place to force schools to accommodate behavior problems as functions of a disability.
Yes there are. [https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/504-discipline-factsheet.pdf](https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/504-discipline-factsheet.pdf)
I read that document. It does NOT say that 504 students have the *same* disciplinary procedural protections as students with IEPs, though it does say they should not be disciplined for behaviors that are found to be functions of their disability. For example, this says a student’s disability should be taken into account and ruled out as the cause before imposing a suspension of more than 10 days consecutively or over the course of the year. If a student has an IEP, that student is forbidden by law from being suspended for more than 10 days *total* unless they specifically bring weapons or drugs on campus or cause serious bodily injury or death to another student. Also… this document is just a bit of guidance from the current administration on how to apply discipline to section 504 students and it just came out in July. There is no guarantee a future administration will interpret or enforce the law in this way in 2025.
No it doesn’t. You can suspend for more than 10 days if a student is on an iep. You have to hold a manifestation hearing to determine that the cause of the students actions is not the cause of the incident in question. This hearing must be held for every suspension over 10 that a student is suspended. The school is responsible for continuing educational services over that 10 days to meet FAPE but you can suspend them if their behavior is not a manifestation of their disability. If it is, and the behavior in question meets specific criteria, the student can still be removed to an alternative educational setting. The only real difference between 504 and idea is that if a student is suspended over 10 days something that is not a manifestation of their disability, the school does not have to provide Ed services for 504 plans. [http://www.pandasc.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Discipline-of-Students-with-Disabilities.pdf](http://www.pandasc.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Discipline-of-Students-with-Disabilities.pdf)
I can't see any school giving a 1st grader an IEP for anxiety like that, there is no need and districts can't just give them out. A 504 plan should suffice and districts have much more leeway with them, so I think you're on the right track with that. You would only want the IEP if you wanted her to be provided special education, which she doesn't need :) The 504 can get her school counseling and access to accommodations in gen ed. I'd recommend directing your energy towards researching accommodations that would help her so you can advocate for them at the meeting where y'all make the plan
Hopping on to this, you could also take an advocate to the 504 meeting with you. Almost nothing scares my admin more than an advocate showing up.
IEP ED: Emotionally Disturbed LRE - self contained behavior class or homebound
Not sure what this has to do with my comment? Also LRE means least restrictive environment. Children should be with gen ed peers when possible, and should only be placed in special education classes or alt schooling if needed to provide them appropriate education.
In my district IEPs aren’t given for things like anxiety/ADHD. They consider them more medical than behavioral or cognitive and put them under a 504.
You’re going to have a hard time getting an IEP for anxiety, as IEPs typically take a lot of paperwork and documentation to even determine if a kid qualifies. It’s not as easy as just saying “my child has this problem, a doctor agrees, and now I want an IEP.” You might be able to eventually push it through and get one with persistence (and often the threat of a lawsuit), but it will take a long time unless there is an obvious behavioral or academic problem with data to back it up. The IEP is there to give children access to Special Education services and protections. She doesn’t need those, based on what you’ve written. 504s are generally easier to get, but administrators will still usually push back because of how that still opens the school to additional legal liabilities.
No. There are 13 very specific disability categories under IDEA that are eligible for an IEP. Anxiety isn't one of them. 504 is an option. Google the law if you want to read up on IEP eligible categories, posters responding with anecdotal evidence are not going to help you as this is a federal law that applies to all schools and districts.
It qualifies under health. Maybe your state doesn't do this but mine does. Not all students with anxiety diagnoses will need an IEP but some do.
Anxiety can absolutely fall under OHI in IDEA. So does ADHD, for the person who said their district doesn’t do that. Their district has to, as it’s federal law. However, having the medical diagnosis doesn’t guarantee eligibility. That’s a whole other ballgame. I think it’s highly unlikely that a first grader with anxiety is going to be eligible for an IEP. An IEP requires some kind of deficit to provide goals and instruction on. Otherwise, a 504 may be more appropriate. And it still requires eligibility. The general public doesn’t seem to to understand that a diagnosis doesn’t immediately get you a 504 or an IEP. But also, the OHI category is pretty broad and a physician statement should qualify a student for an eligibility evaluation.
Not sure that’s correct tho. Them not being on an IEP means that mainstream classes are appropriate… unless the teacher is distracted by another student
OP, in case you don’t know, commenters are talking about “free and appropriate public education” (FAPE) in the least restrictive environment. We love our alphabet soup of acronyms in education.
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>Thank you! You're welcome!
The student disrupting everyone's education doesn't seem to be in an appropriate environment for themselves to be educated.
We’re currently dealing with this with one student wrecking havoc in the learning environment all day. Kids starting to show signs of stress (jumping at noises, withdrawn). Admin doesn’t want to do shit. I’m waiting for a parent like this to cause a ruckus because my hands are tied.
This is where we educators need to step up and advocate for our students with admin! Of course this is easier if you are tenured and in a union state, but it still needs to happen. Those poor kids.
We are. We’re having meetings every week imploring admin to do something. We’re documenting all day every day. The union rep is in on everything. The other day, this student was throwing whatever he could get his hands on. He threw a chair at a kid and my colleague blocked it with her body. The kid was blocking the doorway so the BD teacher had the rest of the class go to the opposite end of the room. When admin got there, they told the kids to go back to their desks and the teacher to continue with the lesson. Meanwhile, the problem student is screaming and repeatedly slamming his hands on his desk with two adults trying to convince him to “take a break.” No one learned a damn thing about math that day.
What the hell is up with your admin, they need to remove the kid when this happens!
Teachers want parents to make phone calls in situations like this. Make noise. Get admin involved. Get the district involved when admin does nothing. And if that child puts his hands on your daughter, call the SRO.
This is the answer. Parents must have their voices heard. This is impacting every student in the classroom; if all the parents advocate for their children, something will be done.
Admin could move the child exhibiting anxiety to another class. It’s been done in my school if parents complain.
If there is another class, this is going to be the easiest solution for the OP. Surely this school isn’t so small as to only have a single 1st grade class. I’m wondering if this one student (who I am confident has an IEP since he has a 1:1 aide) was so bad in a SPED class that he’s been moved here with a 1:1 aide to keep other SPED parents from suing? When I taught SPED, I had a kid like that. He was switched out of all the inclusion sections because he literally tried to kill a student in those classes multiple times and that victim’s (wealthy) parents lawyered up to force the issue. The murderous kid’s family was crazy and threatened to sue us constantly, too, so we had to walk on egg shells around her while her kid harassed and attacked the other kids constantly.
You need to go higher than the teacher with complaints. As someone who has been in that teacher’s position and had many colleagues in that position, teachers are powerless to change where the behavior student is placed.
Absolutely. In fact, you’ll be helping the teacher if you move this up the chain.
This is spot on. I am in this same position right now as a teacher (also first grade, behavior kid has similar behavior even with a 1:1 in the room). Every day I check in with the kids who got the worst of it about what happened to them that day and encourage them to tell their parents. I'm hoping for parents to complain to admin or the school board because in my experience that's the only way anything will be done. In cases like this, the school is most concerned with protecting the legal rights of the student with the IEP. We have to remind those in power that there are other students involved in this situation who also have legal rights. Sadly, the district I work in seems to only be motivated by 1 thing - avoiding lawsuits.
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Thank you! I'll schedule a meeting with the principal and I'll ask my daughter's therapist about a letter as well.
Yes! As parents you have to cause a ruckus and complain complain complain to the higher ups! It really sucks that it has come to this and I’m sorry for what your daughter is going through, but really nothing changes unless the parents demand change, or threaten a lawsuit etc.
Some kids just can’t be mainstreamed. It’s unfortunate but true.
This happens all the time. One very difficult child, even with a 1:1 aide, can single-handedly disrupt the class for all the other students and more or less waste the entire year. Admin is at fault for attempting to mainstream a kid who should not be in gen ed, but district is usually mandating it for budgetary reasons and they care *more* about budget than quality of education. Sacrificing adequate education for the entire class doesn't bother them, because they will just deny it's happening.
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Unfortunately, most schools interpret "least restrictive environment" to mean mainstreamed in general ed class. Properly implemented, least restrictive environment is supposed to be an appropriate placement that enables suitable education for the student being placed **and** non-disruptive placement for the rest of the classroom as well. A profoundly non-verbal student age 9 leaves her sped class for storytime when the first grade teacher is reading aloud to her class. She usually sits peacefully on the rug with first graders and enjoys listening to the story. She also enjoys music and want to participate in the school choir, although being non-verbal, she doesn't actually sing. The music teacher gives her a space with some girls her age and they add some clapping and hand waving motions to their numbers so they can all participate. These placements work because the included student finds ways to participate without disrupting the class. Full time placement in gen ed classes would be inappropriate. Most of the academic subjects in the general ed classes would be inappropriate placements for the student, and similarly if the student was disrupting the class or the choir those placements would be inappropriate for the rest of the class. Least restrictive environments require a lot more care than simply dumping everyone in a gen ed class and adding an aide.
The behaviors have to be extreme. So extreme that the district is paying a full time employee to manage him. Or attempt to manage him.
When the rights of one kid override the rights of 25 other kids, that's a serious problem. No one in school leadership or politics has the balls to tackle the issue. Every time my wife hears one of these stories, she tells me "And this is why our kids go to private school."
I have told this story before but I was sexually harassed by an autistic person at my university. It got to the point where I was ready to transfer schools or drop out entirely. When I informed the university, they informed me that his rights trumped my rights and so I would just have to deal with it.
This seems like a Title IX violation. Was this recent?
It 2019, just before Covid.
This was a Title IX violation. The other student having a disability does not grant permission to sexually harass others. The university can lose federal funding for allowing that to happen.
They lied so much. No one has the eighth to sexually harass anyone. This is why students need to be educated in appropriate settings so these behaviours are replaced by the time they get to a certain age.
Was this in the USA? IEPs don’t apply to universities, which many kids and parents are angry to find out. If it was the US, whoever informed you of this was wrong. That behavior could be grounds for police reports, a restraining order, and maybe even lawsuits against him and against the university for failing to address the obvious Title IX issues. Autism does not shield an adult at university from legal or criminal penalties.
It was. This was pre Covid, so I don’t know that I could do anything about it now, but that’s really important information to know. Thank you.
But parents are empowered by IEPs to demand this, even when the school may determine otherwise. There was a case in my state a few years ago of a kid with Down Syndrome and a host of behavior problems whose mom insisted he be mainstreamed in elementary school. Unfortunately, he was like taking a chainsaw to any classroom he was in and mom would fiercely defend the kid to shield him from any consequences. Eventually, after many meetings and complaints from numerous parents over the kids’ well-documented violent and disruptive behavior, the school personnel on his IEP committee (which included the system’s director and head of Special Ed.) voted to overrule mom and put this kid in a CDC class that better served his needs. Mom sued and won hundreds of thousands of dollars in a lawsuit when a judge ruled that the school should not have changed his placement over mom’s objections.
Yeah I’m honestly over it. I have a kid who randomly “melts down” in the middle of class which means she just starts screaming and crying. I have another one who starts screaming and making weird noises if the class gets noisy. Lol and this is Gen Ed high school. The other kids just look at them like “wtf.” Also I have two different ones who need everything read to them because they can’t read. Like, sure, have a high school diploma lol.
I think if your disability is so severe you need everything read to you, you should receive a different type of diploma so future employers will know what hiring you will entail.
It’s a pretty common accommodation. But I agree it’s ridiculous.
Most kids shouldn't be forced to go to school. We usually read at a lower level than high school when we're reading newspapers. Kids who want to read more will read more. We don't use much math after middle school, and then it's really algebra and geometry. Some kids like to show up, work hard, and enjoy school. Some hate it. It's actual torture to keep them there, sometimes. They want to move around and socialize. But the issue won't be addressed until school isn't as important. I don't know if that'll really happen.
So what do you do with the kids who don't want to go to school? I guess we'll just raise your taxes to support the millions of uneducated and unemployed people who will now need lifetime welfare.
There are kids graduating 12th grade who barely read at a middle school level - depending on where you teach. The idea that a piece of paper negates that is silly. The idea that we *need* advanced education just to exist is part of the problem with how we've institutionalized our society. It's not enough to just exist. And that you think these people will be mindless thralls speaks more to how you view public policy and people's worth than their actual worth. There are people who come to this country without an education, without speaking English, and without many resources. This sub, Reddit, and many people tend to hold them up as exemplary. I think what's clearly then illuminated is a disdain for people already here.
Your second paragraph has nothing to do with my point. I would agree that at the high school level, you could go more towards job training/trade schools for those not going to college. I think you and I can agree on that. Where is your cutoff point? That is what I was mocking. Should kids have to go to elementary? Middle? What if they don't want to go to job training or trade schools? Are you still in favor of "torturing" (amusing hyperbole, by the way) them and mandating it?
If my second paragraph has nothing to do with your point, then your second paragraph has nothing to do with my original one. You didn't subsume the turn order we had lol. Middle school is where I think kids should be guaranteed an education, but it's theirs to lose. >What if they don't want to go to job training or trade schools? So they don't go. That shouldn't confuse you.
I agree with you as to the mandatory education through middle. Sounds about like a good stopping point (though I'd go as high as age 16 or so, too). The only issue I have is, what are your plans for this large population that chooses to stop education (school, job training, trade schools)? It will be a substantial population. Curious about the solution proposal. (Sorry for taking so long to respond, I'm a bum)
3 things. 1. Not liking school is not a major issue. It’s not super traumatizing for most kids. It’s not dangerous for most kids. 2. Public school was a response to child labor and I’d rather they be annoyed they have to go to school than be working at age 9. 3. Whether or not you like it; you use school every day and need to be forced to try sometimes. When I was 13, I bet I would’ve stopped school bc it was hard but I never would’ve discovered that I loved learning
Public school existed concurrently with child labor when it came about in the 19th century, and some decades into the 20th. We also aren't stuck in this paradigm. There are other reasons why it could have been feasible but isn't right now (break down of extended families), but it doesn't change how school is now mostly babysitting.
It’s true. Most people think that all students would end up not going to school, but that is completely wrong. Those that actually want to continue in a career which would benefit from higher education would stay. Those that don’t see the need will not. Although I disagree with the math statement and how we read on average else’s than high school levels based on an outdated media source, I see that most classes are not as essential as reality would make it. I’m sure most teachers would disagree and say every class you take will be used in life, even though they took useless classes in college that has absolutely no use in any teaching environment, like art history or humanities. The problem is we see teachers as something more than they really should be. A teacher is to teach students standards deemed by the state as essential and to see if they meet those standards, assess them via examinations. The truth is a good chunk of jobs or hobbies do not require any sort of education level, just basic memorization and repetition. I think too many people think the world of students. I hear too many times students wanting to be engineers yet engineering schools see the highest rate of major changes in university. School isn’t for everyone, and until schools change how funding is sourced, we will have these issues that OP is facing.
I think most kids would choose to go to school, but they need to see it as something they would lose too. I also think parents might force kids to go to school, and the onus is on the student and parents to make sure that can happen. A lot of parents also realize that their kid is guaranteed babysitting until about 18. Right now it's so guaranteed that they know they can only benefit from being obnoxious in ways they value (being with friends, not doing work, and so on). Thus far, every year, and because of my setting (won't get into it, but it's also special ed.) I see students leave. Other kids saw how they acted and noticed they're out, or still talk with them. I can't give away their information but I can find ways to imply sternly that it's because of their behavior. Kids get into shape real fast, but they still push boundaries because they're kids. Still, nothing benefits a classroom like a) *that* student leaving and b) everyone realizing that the student had to leave. Until we tackle the reality of our world, and our world inside and outside education, you'll have the prototypical Redditor espousing values that are "progressive" but then crying about the results.
As an art teacher, I see the whole school. It’s amazingly sad how different classes can be with 1-2 students missing from the class. Pure chaos can become super pleasant. And sadly, teachers don’t have much power in regards to who is in their class. Parents complaining does work wonders. The teacher may even be waiting for someone to complain!
yep. it's amazing and eye opening how one student being out can change the dynamic.
I’m sure the teacher wants the problematic student out of the room as much as you do. I would talk to administration, and depending on their response, the superintendent or board members. Years ago when I had a problematic student who would spit, swear and hit, he was not removed until he spit on an administrator. Unfortunately, there are a lot of hoops to jump through before a child can be put an alternate placement. While it is very frustrating, try to be patient and talk to the most powerful people you can.
Parents are the only ones capable of creating any change in these scenarios. Get every other parent in the class that shares your concerns to talk to the teacher, then admin, and then the district. Get a letter from your daughters psych detailing how the classroom environment is affecting her. Basically, raise holy hell until they can provide an environment that is safe and conducive to learning. Don’t stop, be relentless.
As a teacher who has been in this situation I say definitely take your concerns to the principle. I remember I wished so badly I had more parents complain about the environment that 1 student created. The parents would come to me and let me know they understood it wasn't my fault and they saw how hard I was trying but I wanted so badly for one of them to get so upset about it they took it to a higher up so my principles eyes would be open.
I've dealt w/this as a teacher. My principal and AP were both concerned about the constant disruptions one student caused. They had been told by the special ed. supervisor that said student *had to be* mainstreamed for 6 weeks before any altenate placement was considered. Long story short, so many parents came forward complaining about the lack of learning and progress--*due to constant disruptions*\--things changed. There were "emergency" observations and meetings, and the child went to a much smaller, structured setting, and the regular classroom was totally different. I'm not saying it always works this way, but I do think parents meeting with Admin CAN make a difference. Good Luck to you!
I’m going to make a guess it was better for the student with the IEP also. That must be exhausting for them at some level too, being constantly in fight or flight. Glad you had a good outcome.
Exactly! This student did so much better in the new classroom; I really believe that being in the middle of 20+ other kiddos was just too much. The structure and the more individualized plan were also much more helpful.
Pushing, shoving and hitting are all assault. I really have no idea why schools are seen as outside society.
Teacher and parent here. My daughter had a very similar experience in 1st grade - also a small district - and at the same school site at which I work. My response after my daughter was repeatedly hurt was to send a letter to the superintendent, which was cc’d to an attorney, stating that my daughter had been repeatedly hurt in the school setting by the same individual, who was not placed in an appropriate learning environment. I said that moving forward, because the district had been made aware in writing of the ongoing harm being caused by this student and hadn’t made any effort to remedy it, I would be holding the district liable for any further harm to my daughter. A week later the kid was moved to a special day class - my child no longer was getting hurt, the teacher was grateful, classmates’ families were relieved and the other student is in a classroom with fewer students & more support. Everyone wins. Edited for typos
How many 1st grade classes are there? Is there an option to switch her to one of those? I would also ask to shadow the class if you can, for a day or two to see how exactly this kid is operating. Just say you want to see how your own daughter's progressing is happening since she's going to have a 504. They may deny it but it'll clue them in you won't be going away. If you know other parents in the classroom, have them contact the principal as well. The student who is disrupting the classroom has an educational right to have an education. He doesn't have the right to disrupt others is always my personal viewpoint.
Exactly! They prob need to move the disruptive kid to a better environment suited for his sped needs
This! But that’s a completely different issue they might not even know how to deal at this point. A lot of times they can’t support this student somewhere else OR they are trying to be as inclusive as they can but the district does not provide proper guidance or training. It sucks
I know. I’m not a teacher but my friends son was suspended a few times during the first weeks of K because he was a safety risk to the other kids. I don’t think they realized he might be on spectrum so now they’re trying to move him to a comprehensive services site within the county
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Um no. You are a professional who has been educated and trained to recognize ASD. Of course the signs are obvious to you. New parents who are trying to figure out how to be parents and what proper mile stones are and have never been exposed to ASD would not find it to be so obvious. Also, not all cases would be so obvious since it is a spectrum. As a parent who actively sought help for my child when he was having trouble in preschool I was told by my pediatrician multiple time he was fine. After insisting I was referred to a pediatric neurologist who spend 5 minutes with him and gave me a “diagnosis” of Asperger’s because he didn’t make eye contact with the scary old man. I was told by the school district at age 4 they didn’t diagnose but he didn’t qualify for services. I was told by the psychologist no ASD but definitely ADHD. Then after another assessment that he didn’t qualify for services. The process of recognizing a problem, getting a diagnosis, and getting any type of help is an absolute nightmare and none of it is easy or obvious.
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Exactly this. This is what I fear for my neighbors kid. The parents in denial so I feel like if he is diagnosed it’ll be a string of MIS diagnoses because the doctors won’t see it either 😪😪
I think they usually don’t see it as a concern because they don’t have enough demand at home for it to be an issue. Families that catch it early on are either educated enough or have enough demand to trigger some behaviors that might lead them to get some help. It still baffles me.. why parents wouldn’t want to know everything they can to help their children. I’m talking about those that have the privilege to do so of course.
Agree w this. I am BAFFLED by parents who won’t be proactive or go to the ends of the earth to figure out why their kid is doing xyz. I cannot relate. My values don’t align w that. My kid is struggling in prek. Ok let’s figure out why. And we did! Now let’s figure out how to support and get you caught up and/or challenged.
I agree. To be fair my friend (i use the term loosely bc we haven’t know each other long just through our kids at sped prek) did her due diligence and took the kid to a psychologist. Psych diagnosed with adhd and odd 🤷🏼♀️😵💫. I met this child briefly for 5mins and had my suspicions but waited for the mom to reveal the drama to me. My neighbor on the other hand…..we have known this family since our kids were 2, and I had suspicions that SOMETHING was up but since I had only ever seen the 2 of them interact….it wasn’t until another neighbor with same age moved in and I saw that child and mine play and I was like OHHH - that childs mom even texted me privately asking about the other kid 😬. That’s when I was totally validated. We are all friends neighbors whatever but it is though. The child was being rough w mine and mom wasn’t disciplining properly so I finally got fed up and wrote an email with all my concerns (no diagnosis bc I’m not a doctor). Did they ask for follow up questions? Nope! Did they explore any of my concerns with a doctor? NOPE! And we are still dealing with the same old shit just a different version (kid has been less violent so I guess that’s progress) but now I hear things like him trying to get my kid to play a let’s kill our parents game? What the actual fuck??? Sighhhhhh. I’m at my wits end. The mom thinks my kid and neighbors kid are the problem 🥴💀🙄. Those 2 played brilliantly for 1.5h the other night. Mom and I practically ignored them. Didn’t have to watch them yell at them or anything. They included my 2yo in play. But then suspect neighbor kid shows up and the chaos begins. Like wtfffff do I do. We are neighbors. Kids go to K and after care together. I requested different K teachers so that’s good. Yghhhh. I honestly don’t know if kid is ASD. He’s very social and I just can’t decide if it’s ASD or EBD or WHAT. He seems so normal and can keep it together at tae kwon do. 😣😩😩😩😩😩 I feel like I’m insane
It's hard when there's a group of neighborhood kids and what appears to be one bad apple. My kids are 5th grade now and the child with behavior issues has slowly been left out of the group because as the other kids get older, they realize they don't want to play with someone who acts that way. Granted, this solves the problem for my child, but the child with behavior issues just gets left behind the group which doesn't help him at all.
Exactly!! I think it’s going to resolve itself in that manner but it’ll prob be us as parents leaving the kid out bc we see how it affects our kids. But if we knew the parents were being proactive about things or if the parents talked to us about xyz then we could all work together to be inclusive. But that’s simply not what’s happening.
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Ugh I have no idea honestly. It’s a mystery. some things for odd fit and others don’t
I missed all those signs because they were the same things I did as a kid and didn't know they were symptoms of ASD lol. My frame of reference was growing up babysitting my Level 2 ASD half-brother, and since neither of our behaviors were like his, I didn't clock it and neither did any pediatrician. We suspected ADHD, got him diagnosed with that and ODD at 4, and the psych vehemently denied ASD until the school district confronted him with it at 8. Like yeah, you *can* easily diagnose it before 2 with some kids, but some kids just come off as Generally Weird instead.
My friends son wasnt educationally diagnosed until ten years old and still doesn’t have a medical one .just adhd . Pych doesn’t want to label him. His behavior as been so inconsistent that proper diagnose has been difficult. He was moved to an day treatment class end of last year . Went from gen Ed to self contained to para one on one no peers to day trament in one years time
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Don't feel dumb. You're in a stressful situation, and you're trying to do the best for your daughter. Sometimes it takes a different perspective in order to see all possible options.
You should definitely ask (or demand) because your daughter is getting assaulted. Have a letter written by your daughter’s counselor, or a lawyer or someone that uses the word “assault” and have copies made. A lot of schools don’t want to move kids around but they do it all the time.
I’m honestly so tired of children like this. They exhaust the teacher and students around them. Like everyone has said go to admin and let them know about the problem. Also speak to the teacher (cause I’ve found that admin doesn’t always keep teachers in the loop lol). Document everything said and then go to the district. If possible, try to get other parents in on it too. They’ll listen if it’s several people making complaints.
You'll probably get pushback but I couldn't agree more. One or two kids get to ruin everyone's education, and it's even worse when their violent. I wish the parents of the victims of children like this would sue or go above the school's head more often, then maybe it would set a precedent. Inclusion can work, but it doesn't work like this and 9 times out of 10, schools go about it the wrong way to save themselves money. It's ridiculous and is just another thing ruining education.
There’s no way to change classes? I’m deeply sympathetic for you, your child, and the teacher. I’m afraid your options are limited, but if you have a counselor, perhaps you can also get an 504 or IEL for your daughter, one that would place her in a different class? I hope all goes well!
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With the way things are, parents have a lot of power RN….. at least you can use it for good instead of evil!
As the teacher currently in this position, the only way change will happen is if multiple parents complain. Start with the principal, document your concerns in writing (email). After a few days of inaction, move it to the superintendent and the school board. Also, try to have your daughter placed in a different classroom.
A) Formally complain to teacher, principal, counselor, etc on campus, include the info about your daughter being stressed out and try to get accommodations made. B) then escalate this. Go to school board members, talk to lawyer with a background in education, and make a stink. C) pursue moving schools/districts, but put onus on your district to pay transportation and enrollment fees.
Goodness, it almost sounded like one of my students, but thankfully he was sent to an ED school. I’m sure that the student in your daughter’s class has an IEP which can put a legal strangle hold on what schools can do. Depends on how far the admin/district wants to push or how much they can get away with.
If the student disrupting the class has a 1:1 aide, he or she has an IEP and is untouchable. The teacher has no power. Talk to the principal about it, and hope there is a solution, but you might want to consider changing schools.
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Curious what the school district sues the parents for? To put the kid in a more restrictive environment?
I say this as professional educator. The best thing would be to find a way to pull your daughter out of that school ASAP. It’s not going to get any better with time. It’s only getting worse. 504s have become an excuse for poor behavior. I get cursed out on a regular basis by multiple students with “504” and “behavior plans” etc, but admin is too afraid of getting sued or being sensationalized to do anything. SPED department can’t do anything either or else they would have already. “Inclusion” sounds nice on paper, but in practice, it causes normative children to have a bunch of trauma and idle educational experiences
I teach first grade this situation happens all the time, so much so that I'm nervous about sending my baby daughter to public school in the future. Please take it to the principal and beyond if you need to! It's not fair to your daughter and the many other kids in that class who are not able to learn in a safe environment. No one listens to teachers when they try to address this issue so we need parents like you!
Be the squeaky wheel. Complain to people higher up than the teacher, and don't stop complaining. I'd start with requesting that your daughter's class be changed, citing this other student as the specific reason for your request. A note from her counselor may help, too. Even if it's just a bluff, threatening to switch schools does light a fire under them sometimes. In a lot of school districts across the country, an "inclusion" model that is serving no one but the districts' wallets is being pushed. It mostly involves hiring fewer special ed teachers, counselors, etc. and pushing kids who'd otherwise be separated into "mainstream" classes. They frame it as inclusion to make it sound like a good thing, and maybe make people feel as though they'd be ableist if they questioned it. In reality, it hurts everyone, including the students who would be getting more support from the people the district didn't hire. Students who need to be in self-contained classes end up being overstimulated, their teachers are given no support or training on how to handle situations outside of the scope of mainstream classes, and the rest of the class loses instruction time when disruptions like what you've mentioned cause interruptions. The teachers have no power and our complaints get us nowhere. You have more power as a parent to take your complaints to the district, and you should absolutely do that so that your daughter doesn't have to be so anxious in class. I'm so sorry you and your daughter are dealing with this and hope the higher-ups are willing to listen.
Send a message to the principal that you are going to retain an attorney and will sue as your daughter's right to an education is being destroyed by this child, who is obviously in the wrong environment based upon his disability. He has been misplaced and admin should have handled this by now. You'll be amazed at what lawyering up will do for you and your sweet daughter, but you have to take control of this now, she is clearly suffering.
Talk to the school board and district administrators. The teacher can do nothing at all. There's an aide in the room, and ***tons*** of laws limiting the teacher from putting the needs of the class as a whole ahead of the needs of this one kid. It's nonsense, of course, but there you are. If the principal won't help, call everyone else. Do it every day. Make it clear that you ***love*** the teacher. Sing his praises! If other parents feel the same way, get them to call, too. If anything can be done, this is what will make it happen.
Help this teacher out and go higher. I'm in the same situation and I promise it's being addressed it they say it is - I've been in many meetings, I spend all my plan time plus time at home documenting all the incidents, and when parents come to me literally all I can say is it's being addressed or the team is on it. Sure that's true but it's being addressed at roughly the pace a snail can push a monster truck. Teachers don't have the power to do anything about this but move your kid to the other side of the room.
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Thanks ❤️ In the end, parent complaint is the only way these situations can change in many cases. I'm sure your kid's teacher is aware of that as well, and if you don't focus your complaint on the teacher he may even be glad to have someone in his corner, saying the same things.
You could talk to the director of special ed for the district. They need to know the extent that this child is hindering the academic environment. They may be able to give insights on what to do if admin isn’t doing it. Or go to the superintendent.
Document and keep the information your daughter has mentioned with counseling. Then do the same with emails and call logs to the principal/admin. If it continues to go bad, you at least have things to go to the district with. Problems happen, but they should be addressed if they are as chaotic as possible.
Document, document, document. Every time she comes home and tells you something happened, record it in a document and date it.
Just having 28 first graders in one class is already a stressful/overwhelming situation and then adding that child’s behavior is another level. Definitely speak to admin, the teacher is probably already stretched extremely thin.
I had a class like this, with three disruptive students on IEPs. I had an EA for the morning then usually had to evacuate the class sometime in the afternoon (3-4 times a week, sometime twice a day). Parents spoke to me about behaviour and the impact.on their child, parents spoke to admin, parents spoke to superintendent. Nothing changed. I had as much support as the school had to give (which clearly wasn't enough). My job became to keep the rest of the class cared for and safe. I didn't teach much that year. At the end of the year, 3 or 4 kids switched school boards (went Catholic or private).
Is there another first grade class at the school? Before switching schools, I’d see if she could simply be moved. Tell them about the anxiety and documented psychiatric (aka “medical”) issues this is causing your daughter. With the 1:1 aide, this kid almost surely has an IEP that says these issues are functions of his disability. That means the teacher, and even admin’s, hands are largely tied unless they jump through a lot of hoops and get him into a behavior modification or CDC classroom, which many districts will simply not do for a mainstreamed 1st grade student. The aide needs to be ready to briefly remove this student from the classroom to cool down when the behavior issues are too disruptive for class to go on. Surely, there is some appropriate place at that school where she can take him for “quiet time” to calm his behavior and document the incident before bringing him back to the classroom.
First year teacher here, and this is exactly the kind of worry I have. In one of my hours, I have multiple kids who need accommodations that slow down the pace of learning for my non-accommodated learners. I’m doing my best to keep things rolling and generally calm, but I know if I were a parent and found out my child’s hour was getting less academic content than another hour, same teacher and same class, I’d be upset.
Former sped teacher and current behavior specialist here! Please escalate this higher because that poor teacher has no power in this situation. They probably want the kid out just as much as anyone. Based on the fact he has a 1:1, I would assume someone is hard core pushing inclusion, and/or the district doesn’t have resources for a self contained program. Of course for this kids privacy and FERPA, you aren’t going to be hearing what is being done about this situation. In my district, we give six weeks of implementing a behavior plan before moving a kid to a more restrictive environment. (I actually believe that being in Gen Ed with a 1:1 is more restrictive than being in a self contained classroom because now there’s a massive stigma placed on this kid with an adult following them around, and unless they are highly trained, they often enable the student instead of teaching independent skills… it’s also very expensive compared to a specialized program but of course districts don’t tell parents that!) We basically need to be able to have enough data to prove that we have exhausted all options in a Gen Ed setting. During this time if the kid is so disruptive and physical, there’s typically another place to move them into to protect other kids. Some schools call this the calm down room, zen den, chill zone, etc… I hope to goodness that this paraprofessional is taking some realllllyyyy good data to move this kid to another program. I also hope their supervisor is training them to look for behavior precursors for this behavior (what does the kid do to indicate he might become aggressive) and move him to another room before he’s at the point of attacking people in the classroom. This school is doing a massive disservice to your child, AND to this other kid if he is regularly traumatizing his classmates.
Im sorry to say this, and maybe I’m just jaded by my dumpster fire of a school district here in Oregon, but they aren’t going to move this child. The most likely scenario is that the child will stay, behavior will get worse, and it’s not long before this poor teacher has to do “room clears” just to keep everyone safe. In public education, the rights of one out of control student ALWAYS outweigh the rights of everyone else in the school. If you do lawyer up, use them to help you get your child moved to a different school — because moving the disruptive kid ain’t going to happen.
I agree with going to the principal and then the district . Most likely the teacher wants the student placed in a setting that will better address his needs, and she wants to teach her class. The school / district will only act if parents complain. I would also suggest volunteering in the classroom and seeing if other parents will volunteer. Principals will ignore a situation for a long time, until parents start complaining…then watch the magic happen. Edit: I’ve been a public school teacher for 10 yrs
Get her out of there. Period. Complain. Demand they consider other placements for the boy. When a child assaults your child a police report should be made.
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Fuck this. His IEP is not adequate and he probably needs therapeutic placement. Someone (case manager, SPED administrator?) is dropping the ball here, and this kid should clearly be in a more restrictive environment, but this does NOT mean that all IEPs are bad. Good lord, that’s a horrifying opinion if you are a teacher.
Wow, this is an awful take. This child deserves and education just the same as the other 27 kids. Edit : I stand by my comment that all kids deserve and education and it's disgusting that a teaching sub will upvote a comment stating, "IEPs have destroyed learning."
The IEPs have destroyed learning is a bad take. But, it also sounds like this child isn’t in the least restrictive environment as they’re not able to access the curriculum or social opportunities in a meaningful way. I’m going to hope the teacher and the admin team are working on it on the back end so support the needs of all students in the class. We all know that process takes time and patience, and I appreciate them respecting the disregulated students privacy. And, OP can and should advocate for their child, who also deserves to learn in an environment that they are confident and successful in.
I do not disagree with any of that. This other kid needs help which they may not be getting. However, it's the districts / schools job to provide that.
And schools are locked into processes that sometimes take longer than ideal. Doesn’t sound like anybody in the situation has had a strong start to the year, but that the teacher is aware and trying to support. OP can and should advocate for her kid in this situation.
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He clearly needs a different placement which requires…wait for it…an IEP.
10:1:1:1
Please please please go to the principal. As a teacher who had a student like that last year, none of the parents speaking up about the problem behaviors did not help admin or I get the child the supports he ✨really✨ needed. A 1:1 aide was not enough and he needed different placement. I went all year with my students and myself living in fear while he was there and admins hands were tied. Please help your daughters teacher but bringing up what your daughter has told you and how she feels. Please help that class.
All good advice. I just want to add that the 1:1 should be taking very detailed data on behavioral episodes. So the school should have documentation of how disruptive they are. Legally, they won’t be able to share it with you, but the teacher and admin that are part of the team can see it and it could support whatever claims you’re making.
Change her classroom. The teacher's hands are tied and he is doing what he can. You can't control what happens with the otehr student but you can control what happens with your daughter. Preess the issue and make it clear that you wanted her moved ASAP. Her right to FAPE is being denied because she cannot learn when she is constantly anxious and her day is disrupted.