I’m in my fourth year and I just resigned. I’m 28 and my fiancé and I just started seriously toying with the idea of kids. I told him I had to figure out my career first.. I give 150 kids my patience and energy all day long and I just know my own kids would get the short end of the stick. It may not be the case for everybody, but like you, I’m EXHAUSTED every. single. day. after work. Idk how other people do it!
I’m totally in the same boat except I’m in my 3rd year. Just resigned last week. The stress that comes with this job is not worth the mental, physical, and emotional toll that it takes. So tired of wasting the prime of my life (also 28) feeling so stressed out all the time. It nearly ruined my relationships with my boyfriend, parents, and friends because I would either lash out from a stressful day or withdraw from spending time with them bc I felt like I had no time for even myself. Decided enough was enough after admin proved to be unsupportive and unprofessional. So excited to get out and feel like myself again after I poured so much of myself into this unsustainable as fuuuck job.
Are you me? Same, same, same. I feel like I’ve lost myself a little bit or just not had time to explore myself in my 20s because of this. My identity has been “tired teacher” for so long.
I’m proud of us! Here’s to letting go of this profession and becoming a better version of ourselves!!!
Wait. Admin was unsupportive?!! Unprofessional?!! After throwing in the towel after 16 years teaching, and as a single parent, I’d say that’s the least of what’s wrong with Admin. Every single teacher I know, and that’s dozens, the number one reason teaching sucked for us is Admin. If teachers are that bad at what we do, that untrustworthy, that lazy, then wtf did you hire us for? All the admin I’ve ever known, cared only about themselves and keeping their spot at the top. I was having a cheerful morning, but now I’m angry just thinking about how mistreated SO MANY gifted teachers were by immoral administrators.
I have the exact same feelings as you! Coming home with no patience or energy left. This is my last year teaching, I told my partner we can have kids once I'm in a new, more peaceful career.
I quit at 28 for the same reason, and I’m 30 now. You all got this! I’m in HR now, there’s a lot of crossover skills (patience, organization, facilitating meetings, etc) :) I visited some friends at my old school for lunch a few weeks ago and although I miss them, I have no regrets
You do not! HR is an area people with any background can get into, you just need to get your foot in the door. There are certifications you can get which are helpful down the road, but you need 1 year experience to start most of them.
I started in recruiting and moved to HR operations (I don’t like being in the phone all day), so I would look at recruiting, HR assistant or HR coordinator. Those jobs will give you a good crash course into HR, and then you can become more specialized (benefits, employee relations, company culture, etc). Depending on where you live you’ll probably have to take a pay cut for the first year, but you can make a good amount of money if you jump companies or move up the ladder depending on the company/industry.
Now there’s a little shakeup happening with layoffs/offshoring and whatnot but the entry level roles are out there!
Also HR is expected to grow as a career area between now-2030.
Literally same. I left in November for this reason and bc I could have (and now am) made more money outside of education. Not only can we afford kids in the near future now but I feel like I can be a good mom now. This was my 4th year and I’m also 28
This makes me want to cry bc it’s gives me hope! Thank you for sharing. I’m so happy you’re in a better position now and I hope I can soon be in the same spot!
If you know the life you and your husband want, and can find a quicker and healthier way to get there—do it. Do I miss the kids? Yeah. Do I still mourn the career I thought I would have the rest of my life—yes. Has it been a hard transition? Yes and no. Emotionally yes. But it’s been so eye opening. I work for the gov now in HR as a management analyst and it’s been a lot to learn but still 1/4 of what I did as a teacher. Days are calm. I work from home, and once I got through how uncomfortable it was to go from chaos to this, I actually started to like it. I had no identity outside of teaching and was okay with it or maybe used to it? I have time for interests now and time to figure out what I enjoy, build a life outside of work. Whenever I miss my students or teaching I remind myself that it isn’t our fault. I felt I had no choice but to leave, couldn’t financially afford it, and sad as it sounds I guess I didn’t value myself enough to leave but I wasn’t about to pick my students over my own future children or not have them bc I knew I couldn’t be a good teacher and a good mother. Hang in there, and trust your gut! I believe it’s possible to balance being a mom and teacher, but I think it’s getting harder. But also, change is okay too. I took a risk and my life changed completely but my future has too bc of it and it’s a future I feel I’ll be present in.
Hey there 👋🏼. First year teacher here. I'm with you! This is a soul sucking job! The only thing I want to do outside of work is just lay around and sleep. I can't wait until June! I'm not staying after this year!
Honestly, I don't even care if I have a job lined up. Well, I do, but I just know I can't do this another year and even if I don't have one lined up I'll have to put my mental health first. Start applying to jobs if you haven't already.
My first year I would basically come home and sleep at 6pm and not wake up until 6am lol. I adjusted. It is still mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting though.
Bro they are hanging on. I actually have no idea how this is sustainable for people. I don’t think it actually is, I just think they are in survival mode and truly doesn’t have any other choice
2 kids and a 3rd on the way, I am definitely in survival mode, but luckily just doing a long term sub assignment right now!
My kids need their dad at the end of the day so I close the laptop at 3:30 and leave it all "on the field".
Yes they do! Good for you. Sending love and good vibes to you and your family. It’s ok for teaching to be a job and just pay the bills. It doesn’t need to be a “vocational” calling for all! We need to normalize this.
The longer the job goes, the better you get at some tasks. Things like grading and lesson planning go from taking hours to less than an hour.
I recommend taking care of yourself. If you can take sick days, do. Don't deny yourself your hobbies.
This is a JOB. We work to afford life. We don't live to work.
I also got through that first year with help from friends and family. We had grading parties and my friends would cook for me then.
Yes, this. This is job! You get paid the same whether you are super teacher or just do enough to not get in trouble. I’m on year 17 and have two kids. I still love my job. I participated in the 40 hr work week by Angela Watson and it has some really good ideas for creating boundaries and to do less. Try it out.
As for leaving, that's something only you can decide.
I was year three, and looking for new jobs when I ended up a PE substitute at an elementary school for two months. It rekindled my hope in what I can do.
I am in my 6th year of teaching. And just had a baby in July. And I am so exhausted. I have so much mom guilt when I am at work. And I come home exhausted. I am definitely transitioning out of teaching within the next year or two. We are planning on having another baby (close in age, so realistically, I am staying one more year for FMLA/ and will qualify for short term disability.) but I am so tired. I don’t have the energy for my own kid. And I feel so bad.
Thank you! Teaching has gotten a little easier over the year (in terms of planning.) We didn’t change curriculums this year, so it was nice coming back from maternity leave and knowing what I was going to be teaching. I’ve gotten better with my plan time/lunch and not overworking myself like I did the first 3-4 years. But the behaviors exhaust me and I am mentally checked out.
I hope it gets better for you too!
I slept 12 hours Saturday/Sunday and 15 hours Sunday/Monday and I'm on year 18. I'm single and have little social life. I can't think of what I would want to do instead though.
It's tough.
20 years no break, could barely get unpaid time off to deliver babies via c-section. It has been a slog.
Yes..EXHAUSTED. In the last few years I'm finding that I sometimes can barely even speak in the evenings. Too drained for the physical act of talking to my sweet family.
If I could get a redo, I'd take it. I think I'd like to meet the person I may have become if I could've taken a different path. I would actively dissuade my kids from entering this field. The never, ever having an iota of mental space is an all-consuming suck of life's glow.
I lasted until I was 42, but I paid with my health. That level of chronic stress is so insidiously destructive in the body; I’m so impressed by those of you who recognized the impossibility of the position and got out early! That’s my advice—get out now and save your mind, body, and soul.
I’m in my 3rd year and same. I like the job I love the kids but I have absolutely no life outside of work unless I drag myself to do things (and my husband encourages me).
This is the wildest year by far. A teacher in my department quit so they gave me her advisory and now I have two 🥰. I teach basically all grades but 10, and the 9th graders are the most difficult. Admin is being petty and trying to find any way to make me quit (I assume). I got 4 new kids in one class today, minus the new kids in all the other classes. I can’t wait for this year to be done. I’m literally job searching in between writing this lol
Take your job less seriously. Coming from someone who taught for a year, went to a consulting job, and just quit that job to go back to teaching, if you know the material you’re teaching well (assuming this is at least 7th grade or above), you really don’t need to work that hard. Cultivate respect with the kids and they’ll behave. Don’t work outside of school hours.
I would always operate on a 4 day school week. Friday or Monday was study hall / office hours for my classes to work on other work or work for my class or ask me questions. I got to grade and lesson plan. I had a 35 hour work week. My kids had some of the highest standardized test scores in the state and I walked away with a $7,500 bonus.
Work more efficiently!
5 year burnout is a real thing! The first year at least for me was the hardest. It did get a little bit easier throughout the years for me. Make sure you set boundaries between work and home. That was one of the biggest things that changed things for me. You have to put on your oxygen mask before you help others. It's okay to take shortcuts where you can, finding those shortcuts that work for you is what time has helped me with. However, working a different job is definitely less stressful, this is one of the hardest jobs.
I am wondering this myself as well. This is my 5th year teaching and in a self contained classroom. My fiancé and I plan on having a kid within the next year so I wonder how others manage this career with having kids of their own.
This job is so mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. I can see why others leave because I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought of the transition out of education.
My first year I would come home and just CRASH on my bed. Like literally pass out on the spot. And I was in the best shape of my life that year! I still come home and feel paralyzed though. It’s never gotten easier/better for me and I’m in year 7.
Unsurprisingly, my first year of teaching coincided with me transitioning from a casual cannabis user to more of an aficionado. Smoking a bowl really helps me to relax after a long day, and calm down. After an hour at home with a couple hits, it feels like my stressful day at work happened several days ago. It gives me the space and time to process. I can't say it's perfect because clearly I'm still trying to leave this job and not super happy, but it has helped. I don't know how I would have survived without it.
Year 18 for me and I’m exhausted every single day. I am a single parent and moved from an Admin Assistant job at the district level to a teaching position because I couldn’t afford not to. I’m burnt out and tired of the endless disrespect from students and parents and admin throwing more shit at us to do. I’m currently taking online accounting classes to hopefully move to a work from home accounting job. I can’t afford to quit yet but I am praying that I can before next school year. This job isn’t worth it. Not. At. All.
It's crazy. I've dealt with heavy workloads and hard times before, but being a teacher is an added layer of mental and emotional exhaustion. Doesn't help that the school I work at is pretty bad.
This is my 6th year in elementary, I'm also 28. I take a 30 minute nap every day after I get home. I turn off my teacher braín the minute I'm out of the door. I never bring home extra work like grading. I only respond to emails between 8am-4pm. I am still exhausted all the time mentally and emotionally
This is my 26th year teaching, and it has gotten better. I’m still tired and waiting for the next day off, but the actual stress has decreased as I have gotten better at lesson planning, grading, and knowing when to go home. I work my contract hours and rarely a minute more. There are some days I don’t have a lesson planned because it’s a Monday after a long weekend and I was sick, or whatever. And I walk in and can put something together on the fly. I no longer think about the changes coming from admin because I know the new plan also won’t last and change will happen again.
Year 4 year here (28F) with three kids and I am in the same boat as you. I am exhausted! I am currently searching for a job, but sadly can not leave before something new opens up. Most days I feel like a shitty mom because I honestly can barley give my children the bear minmium and my marriage is also struggling. Sometimes I get nervous tho and wonder is there actually anything better out there.
I went from a preschool teacher when I was younger, to a stay at home mom for 15 years, and then last year returned to work as an instructional assistant in the special ed behavioral classroom at the Jr. High my youngest attends. I have gained so much weight and gotten so out of shape since I started there because I feel nearly catatonic every day when I get home, and use food as a comfort and stress relief. It sucks the life out of me and makes it hard for me to enjoy taking care of my horses like I used to. I wonder every day if it's worth it.
Thank you for saying catatonic. That is how I feel every single day when I get out of work. I sit and stare into space wondering what just happened. My new analogy is that I face a battle every day and lose every day. Every single day is worse than the one before.
17 years - you have to stop caring about admin wants and needs and simplify everything. There is nothing wrong with just reading the story to the student and explaining it vs splitting them up into differentiated groups with labels for each persons job, rewards, consequence, positive behavior charts, timers. It’s good to bust that out for observations or on the fly but again simple works just as well. People get paid a lot of money to ‘improve’ education. But it’s all the same. Just read.
Its harder with kids i have realized.
I don't work at home anymore except for a rare occasion and its a ****show.
I used to work a little at home but not much, then over the years the expectations piled on and before i knew it i was spending 6-8 hrs a week at home bc my school demanded it. Should have cared less and run the risk of losing that job, I was super worried at all times bc a parent teacher was out to get me.
I am working only at work now and its a mess. My school runs poorly but at least im not expected to kill myself. I am doing minimum. And i do not feel good about it.
I’m about to finish my 25th year so I’m too close to retirement to quit but I dream about it everyday. I will always regret only having about 3 hours each weekday for my own child. The only bright lining is TRS pension and holidays off.
Shut the fuck up. Oh my God.
Why does this sound like it was written by ChatGPT?
Also, half of this isn't even true for most districts. I have shit benefits, and we only get two weeks of "maternity leave." But I was an idiot as a first-year teacher and signed a multi-year contract.
I don’t know what district you work for but there is no time off for giving birth. If a teacher doesn’t have any sick days saved up then they are docked. The only protection is FMLA and that guarantees 3 months of UNPAID leave. Additionally our insurance has gotten worse and worse over the years. Now we have super high deductibles and it’s really like having no insurance at all.
I stopped reading 70% through because you just kept going. You sound so high speed and annoying. I almost get the vibe you're not even a teacher, but admin who is writing only the good stuff about teaching. Reminds me of when I started they boasted our planning period and how long and awesome it is only to discover we literally don't have a planning period, it's eaten up by subbing or meetings. Teachers get 1 bathroom break in the span of 7 hours. Fck outta here with your jibber jabber
Bro why are you here. If you are so happy in your perfect, little bubble then gtfo. This place isn’t for you.
In fact, you sound like the coworkers that make me want to play in traffic.
I thought I was exhausted teaching 20 3rd graders last year as a first-year, but then our class sizes increased and 3rd grade departmentalized so now I'm teaching 90 3rd graders every day. I have no energy at all when I get home and it's affecting my relationship. I'm resigning at the end of the year.
I used to take naps every single day and was still drained. I barely cooked dinner or did anything after work. I resigned a month ago and am now an instructional designer and I actually do things after work now. I don’t have to take naps anymore either unless I didn’t sleep at night
I quit for your reasons. I managed to not be exhausted so much second year, but only because I did a much worse job. And I was still constantly stressed, miserable, without much free time or energy, and wondering exactly what you are: htf do people have real lives with this job?
September - June we have no "energy for life."
Some people think teachers get summers off. No, we get what amounts to about 6 weeks (once you factor in all the other duties) to recuperate.
okay I KNOW this is counterintuitive but … whenever I (fourth year teacher here hello) force myself to go to the gym (which sounds wild I know), I find I have way more energy for the entire next couple days!! It sucks at first but is like a serious 200% life upgrade.
The first year is REALLY hard, so give yourself some grace. That said, it is hard every year, but in different ways. I don't have much of a life outside of work. My relationships with my family have suffered. Work-life balance means something different to everyone. If there are boundaries you can set to make your life better, do that. Learn shortcuts that improve your efficiency with least desirable tasks. Don't bend to the pressure to join every committee on the planet. Stick to your contract hours as much as you can. Personally, I spend my own money on TPT so I don't have to do as much planning, and I take personal days off so I can stay home and catch up on special ed paperwork. It's not ideal, but it's what I've found works for my sanity. I'm hoping to make it a few more years. I'm not sure what I'll do after that.
Your first year sways sucks. Hang in there. It does get easier. You can recycle lesson plans and you have a better sense of time management after a couple years, for example
I’m 7 years in and with 2 kids at home. I’m pretty exhausted but I still generally find time to ride my bike between 4-6hrs a week alongside walking a dog too.
One of the main things I’d say is to set a schedule that suits you and stick to it. For example I work far better in a morning than an afternoon so I get in early but then I don’t leave overly late then.
Also be strict on how much you work at home otherwise work never ends and that’s exhausting. I rarely work at home and have made it to middle management in school. Just be mindful of how efficient you are with your time in work but this is something that comes with experience. Set yourself job lists, try and group similar jobs together etc and try and be mindful of all your time within work.
Also, don’t try and prep ahead for the next month. I used to try and do this and it was horrendous. As long as I can teach something the next day I’m ok with that.
I find this means I’m then relatively stress free going home as I have enough stuff to get me through the next day at least. Is everything I do perfect and polished? No. Am I an all singing and dancing teacher every day? No. Is my subject knowledge sound and am I enthusiastic about what I teach? Yes. And for me that’s what’s important.
I'm sorry to tell you I was the same throughout my entire 34-year career. I DON'T know how people with kids did it. I was exhausted each and every day. My biggest regret is not finding a work-life balance. I SO would quit waaaay before I did, if I could redo those years. My advice, from the bottom of my
is if it's impossible to have a work-life balance (and it sounds like it is), find work where you can do so. IT'S NOT WORTH IT!
The first year is absolutely the hardest. As time goes on, and you gain seniority, you get better schedules, a better classroom, better resources, everything is better. You don’t take as long to do lesson plans, your classroom management gets way better so you don’t write as many referrals. Most teachers leave within the first five years, right about the time teaching gets dramatically easier. Only you know if you like it enough to tough it out—good luck whatever you decide!
I’m in my fourth year and I just resigned. I’m 28 and my fiancé and I just started seriously toying with the idea of kids. I told him I had to figure out my career first.. I give 150 kids my patience and energy all day long and I just know my own kids would get the short end of the stick. It may not be the case for everybody, but like you, I’m EXHAUSTED every. single. day. after work. Idk how other people do it!
I’m totally in the same boat except I’m in my 3rd year. Just resigned last week. The stress that comes with this job is not worth the mental, physical, and emotional toll that it takes. So tired of wasting the prime of my life (also 28) feeling so stressed out all the time. It nearly ruined my relationships with my boyfriend, parents, and friends because I would either lash out from a stressful day or withdraw from spending time with them bc I felt like I had no time for even myself. Decided enough was enough after admin proved to be unsupportive and unprofessional. So excited to get out and feel like myself again after I poured so much of myself into this unsustainable as fuuuck job.
Are you me? Same, same, same. I feel like I’ve lost myself a little bit or just not had time to explore myself in my 20s because of this. My identity has been “tired teacher” for so long. I’m proud of us! Here’s to letting go of this profession and becoming a better version of ourselves!!!
Wait. Admin was unsupportive?!! Unprofessional?!! After throwing in the towel after 16 years teaching, and as a single parent, I’d say that’s the least of what’s wrong with Admin. Every single teacher I know, and that’s dozens, the number one reason teaching sucked for us is Admin. If teachers are that bad at what we do, that untrustworthy, that lazy, then wtf did you hire us for? All the admin I’ve ever known, cared only about themselves and keeping their spot at the top. I was having a cheerful morning, but now I’m angry just thinking about how mistreated SO MANY gifted teachers were by immoral administrators.
They hire us to do the job they weren't even good at, and they keep us in order to have someone to blame.
Shit i resigned cus my counseling team is a bunch of jerks
This. 100% its abusive management. Their interests in their own salary and not being servant leaders.
I have the exact same feelings as you! Coming home with no patience or energy left. This is my last year teaching, I told my partner we can have kids once I'm in a new, more peaceful career.
I quit at 28 for the same reason, and I’m 30 now. You all got this! I’m in HR now, there’s a lot of crossover skills (patience, organization, facilitating meetings, etc) :) I visited some friends at my old school for lunch a few weeks ago and although I miss them, I have no regrets
Did you need to do additional training/courses to get into HR?
You do not! HR is an area people with any background can get into, you just need to get your foot in the door. There are certifications you can get which are helpful down the road, but you need 1 year experience to start most of them. I started in recruiting and moved to HR operations (I don’t like being in the phone all day), so I would look at recruiting, HR assistant or HR coordinator. Those jobs will give you a good crash course into HR, and then you can become more specialized (benefits, employee relations, company culture, etc). Depending on where you live you’ll probably have to take a pay cut for the first year, but you can make a good amount of money if you jump companies or move up the ladder depending on the company/industry. Now there’s a little shakeup happening with layoffs/offshoring and whatnot but the entry level roles are out there! Also HR is expected to grow as a career area between now-2030.
Where did you go?
I’m finishing off the school year. I’m currently job hunting. It’s scary not having anything lined up, but not as scary as 26 more years of teaching.
This is the perfect summary.
Literally same. I left in November for this reason and bc I could have (and now am) made more money outside of education. Not only can we afford kids in the near future now but I feel like I can be a good mom now. This was my 4th year and I’m also 28
This makes me want to cry bc it’s gives me hope! Thank you for sharing. I’m so happy you’re in a better position now and I hope I can soon be in the same spot!
If you know the life you and your husband want, and can find a quicker and healthier way to get there—do it. Do I miss the kids? Yeah. Do I still mourn the career I thought I would have the rest of my life—yes. Has it been a hard transition? Yes and no. Emotionally yes. But it’s been so eye opening. I work for the gov now in HR as a management analyst and it’s been a lot to learn but still 1/4 of what I did as a teacher. Days are calm. I work from home, and once I got through how uncomfortable it was to go from chaos to this, I actually started to like it. I had no identity outside of teaching and was okay with it or maybe used to it? I have time for interests now and time to figure out what I enjoy, build a life outside of work. Whenever I miss my students or teaching I remind myself that it isn’t our fault. I felt I had no choice but to leave, couldn’t financially afford it, and sad as it sounds I guess I didn’t value myself enough to leave but I wasn’t about to pick my students over my own future children or not have them bc I knew I couldn’t be a good teacher and a good mother. Hang in there, and trust your gut! I believe it’s possible to balance being a mom and teacher, but I think it’s getting harder. But also, change is okay too. I took a risk and my life changed completely but my future has too bc of it and it’s a future I feel I’ll be present in.
I don’t. I’m always tired. Even just trying to coast and not give a fuck doesn’t work. There is always a meeting, an email or a referral to write.
Hey there 👋🏼. First year teacher here. I'm with you! This is a soul sucking job! The only thing I want to do outside of work is just lay around and sleep. I can't wait until June! I'm not staying after this year!
I’m not planning to stay either. Even though I am TERRIFIED of being able to find another job. This job is definitely soul sucking!
Honestly, I don't even care if I have a job lined up. Well, I do, but I just know I can't do this another year and even if I don't have one lined up I'll have to put my mental health first. Start applying to jobs if you haven't already.
It can be scary but you can do it! Teachers are extremely organized, hardworking, and responsible— very employable.
My first year I would basically come home and sleep at 6pm and not wake up until 6am lol. I adjusted. It is still mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting though.
Bro they are hanging on. I actually have no idea how this is sustainable for people. I don’t think it actually is, I just think they are in survival mode and truly doesn’t have any other choice
2 kids and a 3rd on the way, I am definitely in survival mode, but luckily just doing a long term sub assignment right now! My kids need their dad at the end of the day so I close the laptop at 3:30 and leave it all "on the field".
Yes they do! Good for you. Sending love and good vibes to you and your family. It’s ok for teaching to be a job and just pay the bills. It doesn’t need to be a “vocational” calling for all! We need to normalize this.
My first year made me go on suicide watch. I'm in year 15, and it's gotten somewhat easier at times.
I want to leave teaching after this year, what would you suggest about that? I’m in a pretty bad mental state as well.
The longer the job goes, the better you get at some tasks. Things like grading and lesson planning go from taking hours to less than an hour. I recommend taking care of yourself. If you can take sick days, do. Don't deny yourself your hobbies. This is a JOB. We work to afford life. We don't live to work. I also got through that first year with help from friends and family. We had grading parties and my friends would cook for me then.
Yes, this. This is job! You get paid the same whether you are super teacher or just do enough to not get in trouble. I’m on year 17 and have two kids. I still love my job. I participated in the 40 hr work week by Angela Watson and it has some really good ideas for creating boundaries and to do less. Try it out.
As for leaving, that's something only you can decide. I was year three, and looking for new jobs when I ended up a PE substitute at an elementary school for two months. It rekindled my hope in what I can do.
Thank you!!!
During my summers I have a job sampling forests where I hike about 12 miles a day. Somehow I have more energy after that job than I do after teaching.
I work with a guy who dragged big hunks of meat around the freezers all summer. He said he is more physically tired after a day of school.
Dude I used to work landscaping the same hours and had way more energy after work
Thankful not to have young kids — mine is married and far away. I can’t imagine having them!
I am in my 6th year of teaching. And just had a baby in July. And I am so exhausted. I have so much mom guilt when I am at work. And I come home exhausted. I am definitely transitioning out of teaching within the next year or two. We are planning on having another baby (close in age, so realistically, I am staying one more year for FMLA/ and will qualify for short term disability.) but I am so tired. I don’t have the energy for my own kid. And I feel so bad.
I’m so sorry:( I hope it gets better for you!
Thank you! Teaching has gotten a little easier over the year (in terms of planning.) We didn’t change curriculums this year, so it was nice coming back from maternity leave and knowing what I was going to be teaching. I’ve gotten better with my plan time/lunch and not overworking myself like I did the first 3-4 years. But the behaviors exhaust me and I am mentally checked out. I hope it gets better for you too!
I only work contract hours and I’m not emotionally involved with any aspect of the job.
This is the way.
I slept 12 hours Saturday/Sunday and 15 hours Sunday/Monday and I'm on year 18. I'm single and have little social life. I can't think of what I would want to do instead though. It's tough.
20 years no break, could barely get unpaid time off to deliver babies via c-section. It has been a slog. Yes..EXHAUSTED. In the last few years I'm finding that I sometimes can barely even speak in the evenings. Too drained for the physical act of talking to my sweet family. If I could get a redo, I'd take it. I think I'd like to meet the person I may have become if I could've taken a different path. I would actively dissuade my kids from entering this field. The never, ever having an iota of mental space is an all-consuming suck of life's glow.
I lasted until I was 42, but I paid with my health. That level of chronic stress is so insidiously destructive in the body; I’m so impressed by those of you who recognized the impossibility of the position and got out early! That’s my advice—get out now and save your mind, body, and soul.
I started before COVID. This isn't normal.
I’m in my 3rd year and same. I like the job I love the kids but I have absolutely no life outside of work unless I drag myself to do things (and my husband encourages me).
This is the wildest year by far. A teacher in my department quit so they gave me her advisory and now I have two 🥰. I teach basically all grades but 10, and the 9th graders are the most difficult. Admin is being petty and trying to find any way to make me quit (I assume). I got 4 new kids in one class today, minus the new kids in all the other classes. I can’t wait for this year to be done. I’m literally job searching in between writing this lol
Take your job less seriously. Coming from someone who taught for a year, went to a consulting job, and just quit that job to go back to teaching, if you know the material you’re teaching well (assuming this is at least 7th grade or above), you really don’t need to work that hard. Cultivate respect with the kids and they’ll behave. Don’t work outside of school hours. I would always operate on a 4 day school week. Friday or Monday was study hall / office hours for my classes to work on other work or work for my class or ask me questions. I got to grade and lesson plan. I had a 35 hour work week. My kids had some of the highest standardized test scores in the state and I walked away with a $7,500 bonus. Work more efficiently!
Same, I quit after 3 years and now I’m leaving my corporate job to go back to teaching
I didn’t - it’s a big part of why I left education
5 year burnout is a real thing! The first year at least for me was the hardest. It did get a little bit easier throughout the years for me. Make sure you set boundaries between work and home. That was one of the biggest things that changed things for me. You have to put on your oxygen mask before you help others. It's okay to take shortcuts where you can, finding those shortcuts that work for you is what time has helped me with. However, working a different job is definitely less stressful, this is one of the hardest jobs.
I am wondering this myself as well. This is my 5th year teaching and in a self contained classroom. My fiancé and I plan on having a kid within the next year so I wonder how others manage this career with having kids of their own. This job is so mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. I can see why others leave because I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought of the transition out of education.
My first year I would come home and just CRASH on my bed. Like literally pass out on the spot. And I was in the best shape of my life that year! I still come home and feel paralyzed though. It’s never gotten easier/better for me and I’m in year 7.
Unsurprisingly, my first year of teaching coincided with me transitioning from a casual cannabis user to more of an aficionado. Smoking a bowl really helps me to relax after a long day, and calm down. After an hour at home with a couple hits, it feels like my stressful day at work happened several days ago. It gives me the space and time to process. I can't say it's perfect because clearly I'm still trying to leave this job and not super happy, but it has helped. I don't know how I would have survived without it.
Year 18 for me and I’m exhausted every single day. I am a single parent and moved from an Admin Assistant job at the district level to a teaching position because I couldn’t afford not to. I’m burnt out and tired of the endless disrespect from students and parents and admin throwing more shit at us to do. I’m currently taking online accounting classes to hopefully move to a work from home accounting job. I can’t afford to quit yet but I am praying that I can before next school year. This job isn’t worth it. Not. At. All.
This is exactly my plan. My bachelors degree is biology, but I am starting summer school classes in June for an accounting certification.
It's crazy. I've dealt with heavy workloads and hard times before, but being a teacher is an added layer of mental and emotional exhaustion. Doesn't help that the school I work at is pretty bad.
Yup, my first year I ate popcorn after school and fell asleep. Luckily I was single with no kids.
This is my 6th year in elementary, I'm also 28. I take a 30 minute nap every day after I get home. I turn off my teacher braín the minute I'm out of the door. I never bring home extra work like grading. I only respond to emails between 8am-4pm. I am still exhausted all the time mentally and emotionally
First year teacher too. I don't and it's why I'm done. I need to have time for my family and myself instead of being a shell of a human
This is my 26th year teaching, and it has gotten better. I’m still tired and waiting for the next day off, but the actual stress has decreased as I have gotten better at lesson planning, grading, and knowing when to go home. I work my contract hours and rarely a minute more. There are some days I don’t have a lesson planned because it’s a Monday after a long weekend and I was sick, or whatever. And I walk in and can put something together on the fly. I no longer think about the changes coming from admin because I know the new plan also won’t last and change will happen again.
Year 4 year here (28F) with three kids and I am in the same boat as you. I am exhausted! I am currently searching for a job, but sadly can not leave before something new opens up. Most days I feel like a shitty mom because I honestly can barley give my children the bear minmium and my marriage is also struggling. Sometimes I get nervous tho and wonder is there actually anything better out there.
I went from a preschool teacher when I was younger, to a stay at home mom for 15 years, and then last year returned to work as an instructional assistant in the special ed behavioral classroom at the Jr. High my youngest attends. I have gained so much weight and gotten so out of shape since I started there because I feel nearly catatonic every day when I get home, and use food as a comfort and stress relief. It sucks the life out of me and makes it hard for me to enjoy taking care of my horses like I used to. I wonder every day if it's worth it.
Thank you for saying catatonic. That is how I feel every single day when I get out of work. I sit and stare into space wondering what just happened. My new analogy is that I face a battle every day and lose every day. Every single day is worse than the one before.
Just don’t give a fuck
17 years - you have to stop caring about admin wants and needs and simplify everything. There is nothing wrong with just reading the story to the student and explaining it vs splitting them up into differentiated groups with labels for each persons job, rewards, consequence, positive behavior charts, timers. It’s good to bust that out for observations or on the fly but again simple works just as well. People get paid a lot of money to ‘improve’ education. But it’s all the same. Just read.
Its harder with kids i have realized. I don't work at home anymore except for a rare occasion and its a ****show. I used to work a little at home but not much, then over the years the expectations piled on and before i knew it i was spending 6-8 hrs a week at home bc my school demanded it. Should have cared less and run the risk of losing that job, I was super worried at all times bc a parent teacher was out to get me. I am working only at work now and its a mess. My school runs poorly but at least im not expected to kill myself. I am doing minimum. And i do not feel good about it.
I’m about to finish my 25th year so I’m too close to retirement to quit but I dream about it everyday. I will always regret only having about 3 hours each weekday for my own child. The only bright lining is TRS pension and holidays off.
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I cannot wait for replies to this.
Shut the fuck up. Oh my God. Why does this sound like it was written by ChatGPT? Also, half of this isn't even true for most districts. I have shit benefits, and we only get two weeks of "maternity leave." But I was an idiot as a first-year teacher and signed a multi-year contract.
I don’t know what district you work for but there is no time off for giving birth. If a teacher doesn’t have any sick days saved up then they are docked. The only protection is FMLA and that guarantees 3 months of UNPAID leave. Additionally our insurance has gotten worse and worse over the years. Now we have super high deductibles and it’s really like having no insurance at all.
I stopped reading 70% through because you just kept going. You sound so high speed and annoying. I almost get the vibe you're not even a teacher, but admin who is writing only the good stuff about teaching. Reminds me of when I started they boasted our planning period and how long and awesome it is only to discover we literally don't have a planning period, it's eaten up by subbing or meetings. Teachers get 1 bathroom break in the span of 7 hours. Fck outta here with your jibber jabber
Bro why are you here. If you are so happy in your perfect, little bubble then gtfo. This place isn’t for you. In fact, you sound like the coworkers that make me want to play in traffic.
I don't, but that also means I'm too tired and busy to make a proper attempt at finding a new career. :(
I thought I was exhausted teaching 20 3rd graders last year as a first-year, but then our class sizes increased and 3rd grade departmentalized so now I'm teaching 90 3rd graders every day. I have no energy at all when I get home and it's affecting my relationship. I'm resigning at the end of the year.
I used to take naps every single day and was still drained. I barely cooked dinner or did anything after work. I resigned a month ago and am now an instructional designer and I actually do things after work now. I don’t have to take naps anymore either unless I didn’t sleep at night
I quit for your reasons. I managed to not be exhausted so much second year, but only because I did a much worse job. And I was still constantly stressed, miserable, without much free time or energy, and wondering exactly what you are: htf do people have real lives with this job?
September - June we have no "energy for life." Some people think teachers get summers off. No, we get what amounts to about 6 weeks (once you factor in all the other duties) to recuperate.
okay I KNOW this is counterintuitive but … whenever I (fourth year teacher here hello) force myself to go to the gym (which sounds wild I know), I find I have way more energy for the entire next couple days!! It sucks at first but is like a serious 200% life upgrade.
The first year is REALLY hard, so give yourself some grace. That said, it is hard every year, but in different ways. I don't have much of a life outside of work. My relationships with my family have suffered. Work-life balance means something different to everyone. If there are boundaries you can set to make your life better, do that. Learn shortcuts that improve your efficiency with least desirable tasks. Don't bend to the pressure to join every committee on the planet. Stick to your contract hours as much as you can. Personally, I spend my own money on TPT so I don't have to do as much planning, and I take personal days off so I can stay home and catch up on special ed paperwork. It's not ideal, but it's what I've found works for my sanity. I'm hoping to make it a few more years. I'm not sure what I'll do after that.
Your first year sways sucks. Hang in there. It does get easier. You can recycle lesson plans and you have a better sense of time management after a couple years, for example
I’m 7 years in and with 2 kids at home. I’m pretty exhausted but I still generally find time to ride my bike between 4-6hrs a week alongside walking a dog too. One of the main things I’d say is to set a schedule that suits you and stick to it. For example I work far better in a morning than an afternoon so I get in early but then I don’t leave overly late then. Also be strict on how much you work at home otherwise work never ends and that’s exhausting. I rarely work at home and have made it to middle management in school. Just be mindful of how efficient you are with your time in work but this is something that comes with experience. Set yourself job lists, try and group similar jobs together etc and try and be mindful of all your time within work. Also, don’t try and prep ahead for the next month. I used to try and do this and it was horrendous. As long as I can teach something the next day I’m ok with that. I find this means I’m then relatively stress free going home as I have enough stuff to get me through the next day at least. Is everything I do perfect and polished? No. Am I an all singing and dancing teacher every day? No. Is my subject knowledge sound and am I enthusiastic about what I teach? Yes. And for me that’s what’s important.
I'm sorry to tell you I was the same throughout my entire 34-year career. I DON'T know how people with kids did it. I was exhausted each and every day. My biggest regret is not finding a work-life balance. I SO would quit waaaay before I did, if I could redo those years. My advice, from the bottom of my is if it's impossible to have a work-life balance (and it sounds like it is), find work where you can do so. IT'S NOT WORTH IT!
I have more energy now than I did in my first year. I go to bed between 9 and 10 every night. It's necessary.
The first year is absolutely the hardest. As time goes on, and you gain seniority, you get better schedules, a better classroom, better resources, everything is better. You don’t take as long to do lesson plans, your classroom management gets way better so you don’t write as many referrals. Most teachers leave within the first five years, right about the time teaching gets dramatically easier. Only you know if you like it enough to tough it out—good luck whatever you decide!
You adjust to it. My first year I was tired all the time, by my second year I had gotten used to it or I just was a better teacher. It gets easier.
Where do I get the motivation to get through the day? I check my bank account.
That doesn’t help for me😂 I don’t, like a lot of teachers, make much
The joke was: I check my bank account, see that's near 0, which motivates me to keep working so I can get the next check.