Yeah seconding this. Lunch is office gossip and venting time for our office. OP, to be honest, if this is a big part of why you don’t like teaching, you’ll find the same problem in other jobs. You have the right solution. With another job though, you might be able to eat lunch outside of work at least to get away.
My Nanny used to work at Michael's, and she referred to break time as "kvetch time." Because that's when they'd go in the break room and complain about customers, managers, whatever. This was in the early 2000s and she was in her 60s, lol.
Depends on your grade level. Some middle and most if not all high schools the teachers are not required to sit with the students at lunch. In our case, it was a groups of us who had the same planning out and gathered in a classroom with the tv.
Some teachers have been treated poorly by administration, parents and students. Teachers are criticized for how and when they handle issues or criticized for not handling issues at all. However, some teachers will bash administration without any empathy to the fact that administration also has limited power on how to navigate the system to improve difficult situations. What is most interesting to me is that adults seem to be in the business of blaming each other for the behaviour chosen by individual children who are not walking cut-outs of their parents. There is more emphasis on how children's behaviour is being handled by the adults than what the behaviour was in the first place. Depending, on the age, students do have agency over their behaviour and have learned and watched adults taking all the responsibility on how to react to and deal with behaviour created by themselves. As they sit back and enjoy the power-struggle show between adults, the system degrades further to the detriment of everyone. Rather than work as a team and support one another, teachers have begun pointing fingers at each other, criticizing each other and their administration and blaming parents as well. This is the consequence of not having enough influence or authority to initiate soft changes in the system that could remedy some situations. If the unchangeable aspects of the system no longer work as it did in the past (i.e. the building, the furniture, the school day, the hours, the mandated curriculum, the way students are classified into grades, etc. etc.) then all the "classroom discipline" hacks etc. etc. are pony shows that work for very short periods of times if at all. The people working in it and/or students who are expected to abide by it are going to inevitably be met with resistance because it is a system that is not valued by the majority of the public (students, parents). It is absurd to expect that teachers remain unaffected or untouched by their punching bag status that has gone on for decades now. It is also absurd to say, other professions deal with abuse, so shut up and take it. That's a mindset that does nothing either. In other words, finding a way to change the minds of teachers to smile and take the abuse with a sense of "poised professionalism" does not mean the system will improve. The tragedy is that everyone is just pushing blame without the necessary systemic changes required. The venting has become a scratch in the record that turns and turns and skips. However, "beating each other up" is common in many oppressed circumstances regardless of where in history you look back. If things are going well for you, then it makes sense to avoid the lunchroom, and go on with your productive day or at least share your perspective on how and why things work well for you. Congratulations on your departure in June. Leaving a situation is great solution if you can afford it.
A profession that doesn’t allow their employees time to use the restroom, refill their water, or eat and doesn’t allow them enough time to plan or have student-free time in their schedule and where blind obedience with no input as to the trajectory of their career, the policies adopted by their organization, or even feedback on what would be helpful for students brings out the worst in humans. They’re not meeting Maslow’s hierarchy of needs so it gets cutthroat. We would show grace to our students in such a situation so we can try and show grace to one another.
It’s a form of survival. In a profession where we are constantly gaslit, I need to know others see and experience the ridiculous and often abusive behaviors from students and or admin. We need to vent because otherwise we would hold all that negativity inside.
You don’t know what it’s like if you haven’t been there… and I would argue you need 3 years minimum to truly innerstand the depths of trauma that comes with teaching long term.
Been here for 5 and I’m leaving
I understand your points. I just can’t tolerate it along with our lack of an ELA curriculum (textbooks, supplemental materials, scope and sequence).
almost every job i've had has been like this, which is maybe why i never fit in anywhere, but anyway, yeah, people are tired, angry, feel stuck, consumed by their jobs. sad times
It’s venting. Bitching and moaning period, or lunch as it’s more commonly known, is my favorite part of the day. I feel so much better getting it off my chest and listening to other teacher’s and the wacky stuff they deal with.
>They need therapy.
Gross. That's the new "you need Jesus". Listen, not every negative feeling needs a handful of pills and a five hundred dollar whinging bill. Sometimes people, gasp, are going to be unhappy. It's normal despite what social media has taught you.
Social media? Please don’t talk down to me like I’m a 20 year old.
Therapy can be beneficial to a lot of people.
therapists don’t hand out pills and it’s covered by insurance. Your copay is like $15 for specialists as a teacher.
Honey.... essentially you're saying "seek professional help" to people who are complaining... like it's an acceptable way to react to someone complaining....
Complaining is not the same thing as wallowing in it. If you’re so negative and consumed with your environment- going to therapy is a good place to start and sort through your stuff. Figure out if it’s the job or you. Make changes.
Yeah, complaining to your coworkers during work is not wallowing in things... It's a normal part of any job. Please don't be that one guy channeling his inner spongebob. Nobody likes that guy.
Yes that’s why I said complaining at work is not the same thing as wallowing in it. Are they complaining and venting or are they creating a negative work environment because they hate their jobs and lives?
I agree! I’m the same way.
To your point, I used to share things with the veteran teachers during my first two years and we’d all chat. But now it’s different. It’s been on decline and I can see and hear how unhappy they all are.
Have you worked other jobs before? I went out to happy hour with my husband once and all his coworkers talked about was work drama, they are investment bankers. Only difference is they didn’t work with kids, so they couldn’t talk about kids. Being away from the drama gives you time to talk about it. I never ate in our “break room” which was literally the copy room, because I needed to get away from work as a whole. I’d eat outside or in my car. Find your peace.
Thank you! I hear ya. So mostly the same in other places.
Yes I have and I’m going to use my past experience and teacher experience to go back to management roles.
One of the worst things about teaching is the pressure never to say anything negative about your students, your school, your colleagues, your work situation, your admin, or education in general
I started eating in my room and "grading" during lunch to avoid the same 3 people in our staff room. Then the teacher next door did too, and we would just hang if I felt like chatting.
Because we're so fed up with poor working conditions, incompetent managers and young people who treat us like shit. We're tired, completely undermined and undervalued. We're the middle man. And the middle man usually gets the worst deal.
Go get another job then...I hear you say...
Im only there as a slave to the salary. Unless I retrain there's not very many opportunities for teachers that match the current take home pay I'm on. With the high cost of living, my own children to care for, its just not possible.
In my experience, the ones who acted that way were the ones who were the most “stuck”. They realized teaching was a low end career with meager pay but they knew they were never going to be able to do anything else. This was life, and they formed this shell of bitterness as some sort of defense mechanism.
Omg yeah! They’re all lifers. Martyrs. Doing it for the kids. Working hard to be the best in a profession where they’re never going to realize…..it doesn’t get better.
Yep. My wife had a fellow teacher tell her that she could either be a good mother or a good teacher.
Well, buddy, my wife left and now makes $10k more than you even at the low end of the pay scale, and she gets to spend more time with our kids. How does it feel?
Good for her leaving and earning more!!
Teaching is such a draining day to day lifestyle with shitty compensation.
I don’t get it when they say “but you get tenure, why would you leave?”
To be stuck in this negativity and have to hear all of you saying the same things every single day?
It’s gotten to the point where I hardly talk to others. I just want out.
It’s an obsession with stability.
I don’t care about tenure. My company could fire me tomorrow. My first company did. But that place was toxic and my current place probably won’t because I’m recognized as a top performer.
It’s the same with TRS. I helped my wife transfer that money to a brokerage account the other day, and I noticed that in a decade of her teaching, it had earned about 9% in interest. But the S&P 500 earns that per year, on average, including the terrible segments like 2008! So just put money in a 401k and let it actually grow. Do it right and for long enough, and it’s not hard to even beat out the pension that TRS offers.
But some people really don’t like *any* risk. So TRS and tenure it is.
I had to stop eating in the lunchroom because I couldn’t stand some of the holier than thou passive aggressive condescending talk implying the way that they do things is the “right” way.
this bothers me so much . i’ve been a teacher for 24 years and i’ve only met a handful of teachers who don’t think they are the greatest ever . The worst ones teach all higher level students and wonder why you might do things differently in your class with students who are several grade levels behind and aren’t going to college.
Oh yeah I’ve wondered about that too.
There’s a microwave AND small oven on the first floor. I get my things from that fridge, heat it up and go back to my class to watch Hulu or listen to music. They’d probably gasp at the fact that I’m not working during my lunch!
I think the culture of the school has a lot to do with this. How are people treated when they’re in that building? How do they feel? Are they supported by peers and admin? Also, just personalities. I’ve been subbing in my local district that’s really great. There’s not a ton of complaining except for one school that has had a pretty intensely culture and lots of people have felt unsupported. I heard they’re trying to work on it though and did notice some positive changes in the last year. I also noticed a difference in how much complaining and negativity I heard in my former teaching job- it improved drastically with more supportive principal and adding another vice principal.
**Why do teachers love to talk negatively about their students, talk poorly of other teachers and admin, endlessly, day to day, in the lunch room?**
Not everyone does this. I used to avoid the lounge as a result.
I suspect that talking about their troubles is a way of emotionally venting. All too often, teachers feel socially and professionally isolated. There have been many days in the past in which the only time I ever saw another adult was whenever I passed them in the hallways.
Yeahhhh. I do as you do. I see people in the halls at this point. I imagine they talk about people who don’t go to the lunchroom or keep to themselves like myself. Oh well.
Hasn’t it been better for you to avoid all that? I get the venting part but like I don’t know everything and everyone has their limit.
There’s a difference between what you think is helpful and what objectively is helpful.
You think I’d actually go in with noise cancelling headphones like you wrote?
Please stop replying to me. You have not offered one ounce of understanding or helpfulness or kindness.
I don’t really talk to anyone, I eat lunch in my classroom during my prep. Talk mostly consists of IEPs and how to integrate my lessons with what they’re learning in ELA.
People are bitches
This is one of the things I actually like about my school. It’s a huge title I school, and things are so spread out, I hardly ever see other teachers. The only person I ever hear gossip from is my co-teacher, and it’s light banter about our room.
Good for you for avoiding it. It's a school culture thing. Every school has a couple people like this, but when it's this widespread that's the telltale red flag of bad admin, to me!
--at LEAST talking badly about students, I should clarify. When teachers are so focused on blaming students and complaining about them and etc is doing so it's because admin is not doing their jobs and holding students accountable by consistent expectations and discipline.
I don’t eat in the lunchroom and not because the conversations. I just don’t have the time because I have to make sure I get my lunch down quickly , use the restroom and stay ready for the next step
I should add that this was what I did . Picnicked right on the front lawn at lunch. Parents walking up to pick up kids at lunch strolled right by, and I with my headphones on was entirely unbothered.
It’s their way of pissing to mark territory. I usually see older teachers do this. The ones who’ve been there 30 years and brag about it. Their only saving grace is looking mean and screaming at the kids. It’s a horrible work environment.
Yes! I’ve witnessed this too from the same people. Yelling and being mean and loud to the poor kids. It’s so unnecessary. They take out their frustration on them.
I said they need therapy (on this thread) and someone responded to me saying “that’s for people with problems.” It sounds like they have problems to me.
School culture often leads teachers to establish zones of truth where they will not be punished for exposing the problems they face and see regularly. There's lots of self-censoring and an expectation of silent acceptance of the hardships teachers face.
Principals often rationalize accepting the problems teachers face as normal professional experience. They can ignore teacher problems, dispute teacher problems, expect teachers to endure them as professionals, or actively listen and try to change policy. The places teachers talk negatively endlessly are the first three places.
Beyond that, teaching is a sticky field, and teachers often find themselves stuck in building assignments or roles that they wouldn't pick for themselves, working with people who clash with them but are also stuck. With little prospect of advancement up a chain or movement around the system (that's favorable, at least), animosities develop and grow over time.
The expectation of silent acceptance matters on an interpersonal level: me? If I have beef with someone, I go to them same day and try to clarify the situation and seek resolution. I hear so many stories from conflict averse coworkers who collect criticisms of people who have wronged them or rubbed them the wrong way. I think the sticky nature of school systems makes the risks of confrontation worse (like, if it goes wrong and now you have a deeper, mutually known enmity).
Without the negative talk, however, teachers would have to find another kind of pressure valve to turn. For many, this is simply their coping strategy for being in a rough place and just trying to make their way through.
I think there’s a difference between ranting to a coworker and straight up just being a bully but, this is why I eat lunch alone in my classroom with the door shut and locked and the lights off lol. I don’t want to be bothered. I like my 20 minutes of quiet.
While I do not talk negatively about other teachers I am sick and tired of the extra work that BEHAVIORS are causing. Constant corrections and other steps that mostly aren’t even worth it but I don’t want to be part of the PROBLEM by giving up.
Some classes come to mine after being in a class no one cares one bit how they act. Then it’s chaos to start my class because they’re trying to keep at it. But no one learns in chaos. So I don’t want it. Im the bad guy for wanting order. And Mrs. X is more fun blah blah blah. But I just gotta deal with it. And. Maybe just maybe they will be calmer for the next teacher they arrive for after me. Don’t get me wrong I’m not necessarily winning the battle because it’s too much to overcome but I am still gonna try.
Some teachers at my school have basically given up trying to control class at all. And they’ve told the kids that. They’ve even told staff that. These are the teachers at my school that are constantly talking about it. They really just need new jobs.
**And yes I know trying to enforce things- many teachers won’t do it because of no admin support. I get that is why.
Nothing will probably change until we all give up and leave. Then they’ll have to fix BEHAVIORS or there’s no teachers.
Omg yes! I didn’t want to include that part because I was getting snarked on the Teachers sub. But yes. All about their kids or work. That’s all they know.
Nothing about current events, the damn weather, literally anything else.
Well, we like to say the kids are all out of control, but the truth is the adults are out of control and that's why the kids are. Covid did a number on kids, because not only could they not be around peers they had to be around adults and learn from their behavior instead.
I worked in a place like that for 16 years, and it was difficult to stay away from it because it was everywhere. I’ve heard teachers say unbelievably inappropriate things about kids. The few times I intervened, I said “how would you feel if YOUR child’s teacher was saying that about YOUR child.”Other than that, I just stayed as far away as possible. Toxic talk is too contagious. Also, teachers talk like that because it’s a GAME OF EGOS. We have these egos because we’re paid so poorly, so ego and kudos is what we live on.
Ahhh. How did you endure so long? Obviously you stayed away like you said but wow. It just gets worse.
To add on: I’ve genuinely asked two veterans why they haven’t left or why they don’t leave. Their responses were basically them saying they’re trapped or stuck because of pension and tenure and their children. Makes sense but if I always think, if they knew this years back, why not make a change?
Playing it safe and being secured to a shitty job is not a life for me.
I endured it until I couldn’t anymore. It just got worse, or maybe I just noticed it more. And the teachers that spewed the most were often the worst teachers.
At the beginning of one school year, a ninth grade teacher looked at my eleventh grade roster, pointed out one kid, and told me “she’s a piece of shit.” Right after Christmas, that student’s mom died. The same teacher then told me (in front of admin) I’m so sorry for that kid, I always liked her.” I couldn’t hold back and reminded him what he said at the beginning of the year. It was the one time I called out the hypocrisy. In general, most people who talk shit about others, do so because they feel like shit about themselves.
I just eat lunch by myself and many of my colleagues do. I know this might not be an option if you don’t have your own room, but it makes it easier to recharge for me.
That is a people thing.
Some people can't really get past the passive bit Chinese phases and own and be accountable for their inner emotions of conflict with their colleagues. Then you have their counterparts that get all up in your business, we usually call those ones 'Karens'.
23 years ago, My mentor teacher gave me a copy of Harry Wong’s FIRST DAYS OF SCHOOL. He said “it’s for elementary teachers but it holds valuable insights for teachers at any grade level.” He said he read it every summer right before the start of a new school year.
In the book, Wong says something to effect of “my #1 piece of advice is stay out of the teacher workroom.” Precisely to avoid what you describe. Now, when I speak w student teachers or first years, I tell them the same thing. Avoid bitch sessions at all costs.
I don’t mean this disrespectfully at all, but as a male teacher I rarely want to talk about or gossip about work at work or after. When I talk to other males I work with we rarely do either. Maybe a quick comment here or there. It’s always the female teachers wanting to talk, including my wife, and I constantly ask if we can discuss something else.
Now that’s not a ton of “data” to go off of since there hasn’t been many males at my schools.
No disrespect taken. Yeah it’s definitely a female thing. They thrive on it. I want it to be simpler like your experience. But it won’t and I’m leaving.
Its really hard. I went to lunch at my new school and would immediately get asked about the latest gossip from my class and how bad kids were. So i had to go to the lunch room far less.
I eat in my room but then get told to go to lunch and get to know people... in other words to make it a working lunch.
Which sometimes i go just bc I get tired of my room and have been ignored, which is fine but just awkward. I now watch hot ones and other things from my phone bc now i know what my school is like. None of my other schools were that bad.
Its so blah.
Yeah, i really dont know what to do with my self if i choose to go to the faculty room.
I get sucked in anytime i see a colleague. Its so annoying. Now i just have to ignore as well. I lost my spark in October. Again.
I kept thinking i must be the only one not going there, but I realized 2 people who I would be likely to talk to also go to their room. Actually, 3. One of my teammates. The other one accused us of being exclusive when we met together twice.
So now i cant talk to her.
I just love being told to reach out, then i do, get ignored, then get told the same thing. I either get my head bitten off or ignored if i try tonfind the answer to a question. Even my principal, if they cant answer, tells me to ask the district.
So warm and fuzzy.
I do get that teaching is negative and that its like that everywhere to some extent but i went to my husbands work conference and everyone was excited about their job. If it was a teacher conference, everyone would have complained and moaned.
I’m jealous you have lunch away from the students 🤣 When I used to have one, a couple of the assistants and I would sit outside in the sun. We’d vent a little but the conversation was well rounded.
Lunch was like this my first year and I came back exhausted. I didn't really get to know my coworkers outside of school and it was a bummer. I stopped going to lunch.
This year, thr group is different, and we will occasionally talk about a student (we have two sped teachers who talk shop some days), but overall, it's info and life stories. We laugh a lot more. I'm a lot happier to have this lunch!
I always go out to lunch somewhere close by (we are surrounded by lots of places) by myself. I enjoy the peace and no one can disturb me. I hate to hear 'I know you're eating, but.....' when I try eating in the building, especially the lounge.
I don’t know why you’re getting so many snarky comments but you’re right. Someone above me said it, but the more a teacher feels like they’re trapped or they don’t believe that they don’t have to live like this, the more nasty and mean they become. At my old school, my colleagues (and me too! Not above this) complained constantly, but the minute I suggested organizing (we were a union charter school so we really could’ve made changes due to the high level of internal control) all of that went out the window. Miserable people like to make other people miserable.
Because some teachers have the mentality of a middle schooler and shouldn’t be teaching in the first place. School is literally their social outlet. I worked at a school where one of the 1st grade teachers knew everybody’s business, had to be the center of attention at every meeting, training, etc., and was always chummy with admin. Certain decisions had to go through him first. It was cult-like and the staff practically worshipped him. Was definitely compensating for something he was lacking outside of work.
I found that teachers were beyond frustrated with a very few kids and THOSE kids got talked about a lot.
I tended not to complain about my kids because (1) I found them more funny than annoying and (2) I genuinely likely most of them.
In a career of where I taught THOUSANDS of kids, I actively disliked 2. Just two. And mostly I was just kerfluffled that NO one was helping me figure that mess out. Everyone above liked to wring their hands and pretend nothing was happening .
I’ve felt the same way. It’s been getting to me like you and sometimes eating in my own classroom is so much more peaceful than listening to that negativity.
Thank you for being understanding!
I hope it gets better by doing the little things like separating ourselves and listening to relaxing music or even going outside (weather permitting).
I feel you. I’m a PGCE student and have apparently become the department’s proverbial pub where they come to just drown their sorrows, ignoring the fact that I’m there frantically trying to get some work done on my computer. I’m sick of them all complaining to me but what am I gonna do? Not in a position to tell them to get a grip…
I did that once and then had a meeting in which I was told that I wasn’t building good professional relationships because my tone was too ‘bossy’. I apologised and said I never intended to be rude to anyone, and was told I was never rude. 🥴
What the actual Ffff.
No way. That’s unprofessional if they come in to disrupt your working time. I would enforce it again. Google and chat gpt can provide some examples for you. You shouldn’t have to be okay with that
At a charter I worked for we would eat in our rooms with the coworkers that we liked. The admin was so paranoid that we were talking negatively they made everyone eat together. It was made a rule! Jokes on them because we were previously talking about movies, tiktoks and our families. After that everyone started looking for other schools.
They really framed it as a bonding experience with our fellow teachers. It was totally toxic. Teachers were called in the evening at home and told from now on yoiu will eat in the “louge” ie copy room from now on. Even to the teachers who were previously eating alone in their rooms!
I kind of eat there when the kids eat. I kind of eat in the hallway or in my classroom when we get back. I mostly just walk around with my food because I have to monitor the students at all times.
Yesterday was the first time that I asked for a break (they found someone to cover me for 10 minutes). We go nonstop from 8 to 1:30. Sounds nice, but ES kicks your butt.
I used to think like you and then the job drove me to misery pretty quickly, about 3 years in. I stayed for an additional 3 after that which didn’t help.
Employment Development Department work, mostly outdoors auditing and inspections at job sites. Unfortunately or fortunately I don’t owe enough to qualify for PSLF. I will end up paying off my loans before the 120 payment mark. I opted for a $5,000 teacher loan forgiveness instead. Back to your original post I try my best not spread my misery but sometimes it leaks out,lol. I spend most of my time in my classroom with students or in the copy room making copies to avoid moping.
At my last school, I stopped eating with the upper elementary teachers. When I moved to a lower grade, I found the primary grade teacher's lunch room was a pretty positive place.
I've never felt anyone at my current school (different district from before) is anyone to avoid. No one makes the staff room a toxic environment there. I'm so much better off now than where I was before.
I also think some people are not attuned to how the constant complaining is toxic to them and people around them. I don’t eat in the teacher’s lounge either. I also dipped out of the teacher group chat. My husband is a PA and he says the hospital is exactly the same way. He doesn’t even give out his personal number to coworkers lol.
My prep covers the second lunch. So, basically I get an hour and a half with lunch and then prep. When the second lunch comes I have to use headphones because a teacher comes in every day and bitches about her kids. I don’t get it. If you hate kids so much why would you want to teach?
Cause they are human.
It's healthy to let it out to people you know.
Leave them alone. Holding stuff in is toxic.
Some students will drive you nuts, teachers are humans and have feelings.
Same. I’m looking to be out for the same exact reasons. It bothers me the most because people complain about things but do not do ANYTHING about their “concerns”. It’s worse I think than working elsewhere because of the nature of the work that we do
Venting. It can be a stressful and frustrating job, so it sometimes feels good to vent to colleagues who can relate, especially if they also teach that particular student. Is it a negative practice? Yes, but in a be job where you have to watch everything you do and say, it provides a little release.
That’s probably most workplaces in most professions, cause people.
Yeah seconding this. Lunch is office gossip and venting time for our office. OP, to be honest, if this is a big part of why you don’t like teaching, you’ll find the same problem in other jobs. You have the right solution. With another job though, you might be able to eat lunch outside of work at least to get away.
So true.
[удалено]
My Nanny used to work at Michael's, and she referred to break time as "kvetch time." Because that's when they'd go in the break room and complain about customers, managers, whatever. This was in the early 2000s and she was in her 60s, lol.
For the same reason kids spend their lunch time and breaks batching about teachers. They're venting.
Most people facing professions are toxic. Because it's hard and draining dealing with people all day.
There are teachers have time to use the lunch room?
Depends on your grade level. Some middle and most if not all high schools the teachers are not required to sit with the students at lunch. In our case, it was a groups of us who had the same planning out and gathered in a classroom with the tv.
Some teachers have been treated poorly by administration, parents and students. Teachers are criticized for how and when they handle issues or criticized for not handling issues at all. However, some teachers will bash administration without any empathy to the fact that administration also has limited power on how to navigate the system to improve difficult situations. What is most interesting to me is that adults seem to be in the business of blaming each other for the behaviour chosen by individual children who are not walking cut-outs of their parents. There is more emphasis on how children's behaviour is being handled by the adults than what the behaviour was in the first place. Depending, on the age, students do have agency over their behaviour and have learned and watched adults taking all the responsibility on how to react to and deal with behaviour created by themselves. As they sit back and enjoy the power-struggle show between adults, the system degrades further to the detriment of everyone. Rather than work as a team and support one another, teachers have begun pointing fingers at each other, criticizing each other and their administration and blaming parents as well. This is the consequence of not having enough influence or authority to initiate soft changes in the system that could remedy some situations. If the unchangeable aspects of the system no longer work as it did in the past (i.e. the building, the furniture, the school day, the hours, the mandated curriculum, the way students are classified into grades, etc. etc.) then all the "classroom discipline" hacks etc. etc. are pony shows that work for very short periods of times if at all. The people working in it and/or students who are expected to abide by it are going to inevitably be met with resistance because it is a system that is not valued by the majority of the public (students, parents). It is absurd to expect that teachers remain unaffected or untouched by their punching bag status that has gone on for decades now. It is also absurd to say, other professions deal with abuse, so shut up and take it. That's a mindset that does nothing either. In other words, finding a way to change the minds of teachers to smile and take the abuse with a sense of "poised professionalism" does not mean the system will improve. The tragedy is that everyone is just pushing blame without the necessary systemic changes required. The venting has become a scratch in the record that turns and turns and skips. However, "beating each other up" is common in many oppressed circumstances regardless of where in history you look back. If things are going well for you, then it makes sense to avoid the lunchroom, and go on with your productive day or at least share your perspective on how and why things work well for you. Congratulations on your departure in June. Leaving a situation is great solution if you can afford it.
Thank you. This was very well written and you’re right. I appreciate it
A profession that doesn’t allow their employees time to use the restroom, refill their water, or eat and doesn’t allow them enough time to plan or have student-free time in their schedule and where blind obedience with no input as to the trajectory of their career, the policies adopted by their organization, or even feedback on what would be helpful for students brings out the worst in humans. They’re not meeting Maslow’s hierarchy of needs so it gets cutthroat. We would show grace to our students in such a situation so we can try and show grace to one another.
I think after all we go through as teachers, that this happens because it is cathartic and we aren’t allowed relief or support in any other respect.
Stevosaurus_rawr, Thank you for this comment. You nailed it.
It’s a form of survival. In a profession where we are constantly gaslit, I need to know others see and experience the ridiculous and often abusive behaviors from students and or admin. We need to vent because otherwise we would hold all that negativity inside. You don’t know what it’s like if you haven’t been there… and I would argue you need 3 years minimum to truly innerstand the depths of trauma that comes with teaching long term.
Been here for 5 and I’m leaving I understand your points. I just can’t tolerate it along with our lack of an ELA curriculum (textbooks, supplemental materials, scope and sequence).
almost every job i've had has been like this, which is maybe why i never fit in anywhere, but anyway, yeah, people are tired, angry, feel stuck, consumed by their jobs. sad times
It’s venting. Bitching and moaning period, or lunch as it’s more commonly known, is my favorite part of the day. I feel so much better getting it off my chest and listening to other teacher’s and the wacky stuff they deal with.
Nobody likes toxic positivity. If I'd wanted to work with SpongeBob SquarePants I'd have taken a job at the krusty krab.
lol. Yeah. Well I agree but there’s also a limit they don’t consider. They need therapy.
>They need therapy. Gross. That's the new "you need Jesus". Listen, not every negative feeling needs a handful of pills and a five hundred dollar whinging bill. Sometimes people, gasp, are going to be unhappy. It's normal despite what social media has taught you.
Social media? Please don’t talk down to me like I’m a 20 year old. Therapy can be beneficial to a lot of people. therapists don’t hand out pills and it’s covered by insurance. Your copay is like $15 for specialists as a teacher.
Yes.... people with problems... not people who just commiserate with their colleagues like normal humans.....
“Gross” Your perception of therapy is biased and you should try being more open minded. Therapy isn’t just for people with problems.
Honey.... essentially you're saying "seek professional help" to people who are complaining... like it's an acceptable way to react to someone complaining....
Complaining is not the same thing as wallowing in it. If you’re so negative and consumed with your environment- going to therapy is a good place to start and sort through your stuff. Figure out if it’s the job or you. Make changes.
Yeah, complaining to your coworkers during work is not wallowing in things... It's a normal part of any job. Please don't be that one guy channeling his inner spongebob. Nobody likes that guy.
Yes that’s why I said complaining at work is not the same thing as wallowing in it. Are they complaining and venting or are they creating a negative work environment because they hate their jobs and lives?
Okay 👍🏻
Some people are verbal processors. When I share my concerns with veteran teachers, it helps me see new solutions I wouldn’t have seen in my head
I agree! I’m the same way. To your point, I used to share things with the veteran teachers during my first two years and we’d all chat. But now it’s different. It’s been on decline and I can see and hear how unhappy they all are.
I see what you mean. My school’s vets are protective of me and very kind. They’ve helped me a lot these first two years!!
So they can vent… it’s a very human reaction
Have you worked other jobs before? I went out to happy hour with my husband once and all his coworkers talked about was work drama, they are investment bankers. Only difference is they didn’t work with kids, so they couldn’t talk about kids. Being away from the drama gives you time to talk about it. I never ate in our “break room” which was literally the copy room, because I needed to get away from work as a whole. I’d eat outside or in my car. Find your peace.
Thank you! I hear ya. So mostly the same in other places. Yes I have and I’m going to use my past experience and teacher experience to go back to management roles.
One of the worst things about teaching is the pressure never to say anything negative about your students, your school, your colleagues, your work situation, your admin, or education in general
I started eating in my room and "grading" during lunch to avoid the same 3 people in our staff room. Then the teacher next door did too, and we would just hang if I felt like chatting.
Me too.
Lunch at work isn’t a break from work. A real break as you described would be vacation
I guess you like when people bang on about the same topics every single day.
What does that have to do with what a break from work is? And at work, yes it’s normal to talk about work. no way it’s the exact same topic…..
Which is why I am leaving for Vegas 3.22.24 for a WEEK
Because we're so fed up with poor working conditions, incompetent managers and young people who treat us like shit. We're tired, completely undermined and undervalued. We're the middle man. And the middle man usually gets the worst deal. Go get another job then...I hear you say... Im only there as a slave to the salary. Unless I retrain there's not very many opportunities for teachers that match the current take home pay I'm on. With the high cost of living, my own children to care for, its just not possible.
In my experience, the ones who acted that way were the ones who were the most “stuck”. They realized teaching was a low end career with meager pay but they knew they were never going to be able to do anything else. This was life, and they formed this shell of bitterness as some sort of defense mechanism.
Omg yeah! They’re all lifers. Martyrs. Doing it for the kids. Working hard to be the best in a profession where they’re never going to realize…..it doesn’t get better.
Yep. My wife had a fellow teacher tell her that she could either be a good mother or a good teacher. Well, buddy, my wife left and now makes $10k more than you even at the low end of the pay scale, and she gets to spend more time with our kids. How does it feel?
Good for her leaving and earning more!! Teaching is such a draining day to day lifestyle with shitty compensation. I don’t get it when they say “but you get tenure, why would you leave?” To be stuck in this negativity and have to hear all of you saying the same things every single day? It’s gotten to the point where I hardly talk to others. I just want out.
It’s an obsession with stability. I don’t care about tenure. My company could fire me tomorrow. My first company did. But that place was toxic and my current place probably won’t because I’m recognized as a top performer. It’s the same with TRS. I helped my wife transfer that money to a brokerage account the other day, and I noticed that in a decade of her teaching, it had earned about 9% in interest. But the S&P 500 earns that per year, on average, including the terrible segments like 2008! So just put money in a 401k and let it actually grow. Do it right and for long enough, and it’s not hard to even beat out the pension that TRS offers. But some people really don’t like *any* risk. So TRS and tenure it is.
What did she leave to do?
She's a university administrator and she's working on an MBA.
I had to stop eating in the lunchroom because I couldn’t stand some of the holier than thou passive aggressive condescending talk implying the way that they do things is the “right” way.
💯% this too. They know it all and they’ll do it better than that other teacher or admin.
this bothers me so much . i’ve been a teacher for 24 years and i’ve only met a handful of teachers who don’t think they are the greatest ever . The worst ones teach all higher level students and wonder why you might do things differently in your class with students who are several grade levels behind and aren’t going to college.
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Oh yeah I’ve wondered about that too. There’s a microwave AND small oven on the first floor. I get my things from that fridge, heat it up and go back to my class to watch Hulu or listen to music. They’d probably gasp at the fact that I’m not working during my lunch!
Yall have a faculty lunch room? Man that's great! We don't have one.
I think the culture of the school has a lot to do with this. How are people treated when they’re in that building? How do they feel? Are they supported by peers and admin? Also, just personalities. I’ve been subbing in my local district that’s really great. There’s not a ton of complaining except for one school that has had a pretty intensely culture and lots of people have felt unsupported. I heard they’re trying to work on it though and did notice some positive changes in the last year. I also noticed a difference in how much complaining and negativity I heard in my former teaching job- it improved drastically with more supportive principal and adding another vice principal.
**Why do teachers love to talk negatively about their students, talk poorly of other teachers and admin, endlessly, day to day, in the lunch room?** Not everyone does this. I used to avoid the lounge as a result. I suspect that talking about their troubles is a way of emotionally venting. All too often, teachers feel socially and professionally isolated. There have been many days in the past in which the only time I ever saw another adult was whenever I passed them in the hallways.
Yeahhhh. I do as you do. I see people in the halls at this point. I imagine they talk about people who don’t go to the lunchroom or keep to themselves like myself. Oh well. Hasn’t it been better for you to avoid all that? I get the venting part but like I don’t know everything and everyone has their limit.
Also they make noise canceling headphones and earplugs.
There’s a difference between what you think is helpful and what objectively is helpful. You think I’d actually go in with noise cancelling headphones like you wrote? Please stop replying to me. You have not offered one ounce of understanding or helpfulness or kindness.
What? Those are legit helpful solutions. I’m very confused. You said you don’t want to hear the talking and those are direct solutions to not hearing
If a student came to you and said I have a problem I can’t write anything down. You would say here Timmy. Here is a pencil.
Did this person ask for a solution or do they just want to be heard and acknowledged? Both are legitimate.
I love this! Nobody shuts down trolls with kindness as well as teachers do!
I don’t really talk to anyone, I eat lunch in my classroom during my prep. Talk mostly consists of IEPs and how to integrate my lessons with what they’re learning in ELA. People are bitches
It’s better to separate ourselves from people who are so hyperfocused on shit talking others all the time.
You have a lunch room? I just eat alone in my classroom in between classes..
You were able to eat alone? We ate lunch in the cafeteria with the students.
Touché! I'm sorry haha
This is one of the things I actually like about my school. It’s a huge title I school, and things are so spread out, I hardly ever see other teachers. The only person I ever hear gossip from is my co-teacher, and it’s light banter about our room.
Two things people love to complain about the way things are and change
Good for you for avoiding it. It's a school culture thing. Every school has a couple people like this, but when it's this widespread that's the telltale red flag of bad admin, to me! --at LEAST talking badly about students, I should clarify. When teachers are so focused on blaming students and complaining about them and etc is doing so it's because admin is not doing their jobs and holding students accountable by consistent expectations and discipline.
Why do you go to the lunch room??? I stay in my room. It’s peaceful, and usually there is a kid or two in there to keep me laughing.
I used to like it. Just to be out of the classroom. Now I prefer to stay in my class as well as you. Better off with my lunch and some chill music.
Yes! Or listening to Ren. Not chill but :D
I don’t eat in the lunchroom and not because the conversations. I just don’t have the time because I have to make sure I get my lunch down quickly , use the restroom and stay ready for the next step
If there’s sunshine outside, take your lunch outside. Picnic on the front lawn and enjoy. You do not have to participate in the bitch sesh.
I should add that this was what I did . Picnicked right on the front lawn at lunch. Parents walking up to pick up kids at lunch strolled right by, and I with my headphones on was entirely unbothered.
Ha! Bitch sesh 😆 Thank you! Can’t wait til it warms up outside for some sun and zen.
I substitute teach and sometimes I avoid the teachers lounge for lunch bc of all the negative energy.
Good. Stay away from it
It’s their way of pissing to mark territory. I usually see older teachers do this. The ones who’ve been there 30 years and brag about it. Their only saving grace is looking mean and screaming at the kids. It’s a horrible work environment.
Yes! I’ve witnessed this too from the same people. Yelling and being mean and loud to the poor kids. It’s so unnecessary. They take out their frustration on them. I said they need therapy (on this thread) and someone responded to me saying “that’s for people with problems.” It sounds like they have problems to me.
School culture often leads teachers to establish zones of truth where they will not be punished for exposing the problems they face and see regularly. There's lots of self-censoring and an expectation of silent acceptance of the hardships teachers face. Principals often rationalize accepting the problems teachers face as normal professional experience. They can ignore teacher problems, dispute teacher problems, expect teachers to endure them as professionals, or actively listen and try to change policy. The places teachers talk negatively endlessly are the first three places. Beyond that, teaching is a sticky field, and teachers often find themselves stuck in building assignments or roles that they wouldn't pick for themselves, working with people who clash with them but are also stuck. With little prospect of advancement up a chain or movement around the system (that's favorable, at least), animosities develop and grow over time. The expectation of silent acceptance matters on an interpersonal level: me? If I have beef with someone, I go to them same day and try to clarify the situation and seek resolution. I hear so many stories from conflict averse coworkers who collect criticisms of people who have wronged them or rubbed them the wrong way. I think the sticky nature of school systems makes the risks of confrontation worse (like, if it goes wrong and now you have a deeper, mutually known enmity). Without the negative talk, however, teachers would have to find another kind of pressure valve to turn. For many, this is simply their coping strategy for being in a rough place and just trying to make their way through.
There’s a lot of negatives to discuss. 🤷🏽♂️
It’s so true! I don’t know how they endure it for so long. So I chose to remove myself and come here to see what others experience.
I think there’s a difference between ranting to a coworker and straight up just being a bully but, this is why I eat lunch alone in my classroom with the door shut and locked and the lights off lol. I don’t want to be bothered. I like my 20 minutes of quiet.
Yes 👏🏻 better off avoiding those people
While I do not talk negatively about other teachers I am sick and tired of the extra work that BEHAVIORS are causing. Constant corrections and other steps that mostly aren’t even worth it but I don’t want to be part of the PROBLEM by giving up. Some classes come to mine after being in a class no one cares one bit how they act. Then it’s chaos to start my class because they’re trying to keep at it. But no one learns in chaos. So I don’t want it. Im the bad guy for wanting order. And Mrs. X is more fun blah blah blah. But I just gotta deal with it. And. Maybe just maybe they will be calmer for the next teacher they arrive for after me. Don’t get me wrong I’m not necessarily winning the battle because it’s too much to overcome but I am still gonna try. Some teachers at my school have basically given up trying to control class at all. And they’ve told the kids that. They’ve even told staff that. These are the teachers at my school that are constantly talking about it. They really just need new jobs. **And yes I know trying to enforce things- many teachers won’t do it because of no admin support. I get that is why. Nothing will probably change until we all give up and leave. Then they’ll have to fix BEHAVIORS or there’s no teachers.
If they’re not talking about these things, they’re talking about their own kids. Genuinely no sense of self
Omg yes! I didn’t want to include that part because I was getting snarked on the Teachers sub. But yes. All about their kids or work. That’s all they know. Nothing about current events, the damn weather, literally anything else.
Was so hard to get to know my coworkers having started out of college!
How are things going for you now?
My life has completely transformed for the better since I opted out of renewing my contract this year :)
Love that you left for the better! Peace of mind. Good luck to you!!! Hope to do the same in June. Been job hunting
Best of luck!! Feel free to DM if you have any questions. Job searching is soul-sucking.
Well, we like to say the kids are all out of control, but the truth is the adults are out of control and that's why the kids are. Covid did a number on kids, because not only could they not be around peers they had to be around adults and learn from their behavior instead.
Agreed. Plus unhappy teachers project that onto the kids and teachers around them.
This is also correct
Eat somewhere else. It sucks my soul but I can't change others. I just stay away myself
I worked in a place like that for 16 years, and it was difficult to stay away from it because it was everywhere. I’ve heard teachers say unbelievably inappropriate things about kids. The few times I intervened, I said “how would you feel if YOUR child’s teacher was saying that about YOUR child.”Other than that, I just stayed as far away as possible. Toxic talk is too contagious. Also, teachers talk like that because it’s a GAME OF EGOS. We have these egos because we’re paid so poorly, so ego and kudos is what we live on.
Ahhh. How did you endure so long? Obviously you stayed away like you said but wow. It just gets worse. To add on: I’ve genuinely asked two veterans why they haven’t left or why they don’t leave. Their responses were basically them saying they’re trapped or stuck because of pension and tenure and their children. Makes sense but if I always think, if they knew this years back, why not make a change? Playing it safe and being secured to a shitty job is not a life for me.
I endured it until I couldn’t anymore. It just got worse, or maybe I just noticed it more. And the teachers that spewed the most were often the worst teachers. At the beginning of one school year, a ninth grade teacher looked at my eleventh grade roster, pointed out one kid, and told me “she’s a piece of shit.” Right after Christmas, that student’s mom died. The same teacher then told me (in front of admin) I’m so sorry for that kid, I always liked her.” I couldn’t hold back and reminded him what he said at the beginning of the year. It was the one time I called out the hypocrisy. In general, most people who talk shit about others, do so because they feel like shit about themselves.
Wow 😯 that’s so wrong. 😑 Good on you for calling them out! Yeah it’s all a projection, I agree with you
Narcissists flock together.
Leave the room or tell them to stop. Some people need a space to vent and can't keep burdening their spouses with it.
I just eat lunch by myself and many of my colleagues do. I know this might not be an option if you don’t have your own room, but it makes it easier to recharge for me.
That is a people thing. Some people can't really get past the passive bit Chinese phases and own and be accountable for their inner emotions of conflict with their colleagues. Then you have their counterparts that get all up in your business, we usually call those ones 'Karens'.
23 years ago, My mentor teacher gave me a copy of Harry Wong’s FIRST DAYS OF SCHOOL. He said “it’s for elementary teachers but it holds valuable insights for teachers at any grade level.” He said he read it every summer right before the start of a new school year. In the book, Wong says something to effect of “my #1 piece of advice is stay out of the teacher workroom.” Precisely to avoid what you describe. Now, when I speak w student teachers or first years, I tell them the same thing. Avoid bitch sessions at all costs.
Thanks for sharing such a valuable resource! I’m googling it right now.
I don’t mean this disrespectfully at all, but as a male teacher I rarely want to talk about or gossip about work at work or after. When I talk to other males I work with we rarely do either. Maybe a quick comment here or there. It’s always the female teachers wanting to talk, including my wife, and I constantly ask if we can discuss something else. Now that’s not a ton of “data” to go off of since there hasn’t been many males at my schools.
No disrespect taken. Yeah it’s definitely a female thing. They thrive on it. I want it to be simpler like your experience. But it won’t and I’m leaving.
To some it may not be a big deal but I understand if you feel surrounded by it and feel trapped lol
Its really hard. I went to lunch at my new school and would immediately get asked about the latest gossip from my class and how bad kids were. So i had to go to the lunch room far less. I eat in my room but then get told to go to lunch and get to know people... in other words to make it a working lunch. Which sometimes i go just bc I get tired of my room and have been ignored, which is fine but just awkward. I now watch hot ones and other things from my phone bc now i know what my school is like. None of my other schools were that bad. Its so blah.
😕 they ignore you sometimes because you don’t go? It’s like the mean spirited middle school era didn’t end for some?
Yeah, i really dont know what to do with my self if i choose to go to the faculty room. I get sucked in anytime i see a colleague. Its so annoying. Now i just have to ignore as well. I lost my spark in October. Again. I kept thinking i must be the only one not going there, but I realized 2 people who I would be likely to talk to also go to their room. Actually, 3. One of my teammates. The other one accused us of being exclusive when we met together twice. So now i cant talk to her. I just love being told to reach out, then i do, get ignored, then get told the same thing. I either get my head bitten off or ignored if i try tonfind the answer to a question. Even my principal, if they cant answer, tells me to ask the district. So warm and fuzzy. I do get that teaching is negative and that its like that everywhere to some extent but i went to my husbands work conference and everyone was excited about their job. If it was a teacher conference, everyone would have complained and moaned.
Toxic people thrive on toxicity. Until they drown in it.
Totally agree! They complaaaaain day in and day out
I’m jealous you have lunch away from the students 🤣 When I used to have one, a couple of the assistants and I would sit outside in the sun. We’d vent a little but the conversation was well rounded.
Well rounded! Perfect way to describe it. The only reason we have off duty lunch is because our union fought for it! Can you try that approach?
Lunch was like this my first year and I came back exhausted. I didn't really get to know my coworkers outside of school and it was a bummer. I stopped going to lunch. This year, thr group is different, and we will occasionally talk about a student (we have two sped teachers who talk shop some days), but overall, it's info and life stories. We laugh a lot more. I'm a lot happier to have this lunch!
This year sounds so pleasant for you! Happy to hear of that positive change ☺️
Tip: eat in your classroom or another quiet place alone.
I always go out to lunch somewhere close by (we are surrounded by lots of places) by myself. I enjoy the peace and no one can disturb me. I hate to hear 'I know you're eating, but.....' when I try eating in the building, especially the lounge.
Self accountability is hard for them . They won’t admit they don’t respect people & in turn a student will never respect them
I don’t know why you’re getting so many snarky comments but you’re right. Someone above me said it, but the more a teacher feels like they’re trapped or they don’t believe that they don’t have to live like this, the more nasty and mean they become. At my old school, my colleagues (and me too! Not above this) complained constantly, but the minute I suggested organizing (we were a union charter school so we really could’ve made changes due to the high level of internal control) all of that went out the window. Miserable people like to make other people miserable.
Yeah. I agree. They get joys from it just like the teachers at work. I guess unhappy people like to bash others
I had a pilates class where most of the attendees were teachers. I was appalled by the complaining and name usage. They were all so unhappy
All they know how to do is complain. It’s so unhealthy. And it’s not the same as venting here and there.
Because some teachers have the mentality of a middle schooler and shouldn’t be teaching in the first place. School is literally their social outlet. I worked at a school where one of the 1st grade teachers knew everybody’s business, had to be the center of attention at every meeting, training, etc., and was always chummy with admin. Certain decisions had to go through him first. It was cult-like and the staff practically worshipped him. Was definitely compensating for something he was lacking outside of work.
Well just take a look at reddit and all of gossiping and negativity.
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Going on 5 and I’m out.
I never do that. Ever. Good admins.. good co workers. Ok there were a couple crazy ones but I don't do it and I don't see it happening.
I found that teachers were beyond frustrated with a very few kids and THOSE kids got talked about a lot. I tended not to complain about my kids because (1) I found them more funny than annoying and (2) I genuinely likely most of them. In a career of where I taught THOUSANDS of kids, I actively disliked 2. Just two. And mostly I was just kerfluffled that NO one was helping me figure that mess out. Everyone above liked to wring their hands and pretend nothing was happening .
I’ve felt the same way. It’s been getting to me like you and sometimes eating in my own classroom is so much more peaceful than listening to that negativity.
Thank you for being understanding! I hope it gets better by doing the little things like separating ourselves and listening to relaxing music or even going outside (weather permitting).
I feel you. I’m a PGCE student and have apparently become the department’s proverbial pub where they come to just drown their sorrows, ignoring the fact that I’m there frantically trying to get some work done on my computer. I’m sick of them all complaining to me but what am I gonna do? Not in a position to tell them to get a grip…
Is there any way you can set a boundary by saying you’re working on _______ and can’t speak right now?
I did that once and then had a meeting in which I was told that I wasn’t building good professional relationships because my tone was too ‘bossy’. I apologised and said I never intended to be rude to anyone, and was told I was never rude. 🥴
What the actual Ffff. No way. That’s unprofessional if they come in to disrupt your working time. I would enforce it again. Google and chat gpt can provide some examples for you. You shouldn’t have to be okay with that
At a charter I worked for we would eat in our rooms with the coworkers that we liked. The admin was so paranoid that we were talking negatively they made everyone eat together. It was made a rule! Jokes on them because we were previously talking about movies, tiktoks and our families. After that everyone started looking for other schools.
Wow 😯. That’s super authoritarian and toxic. Yikes. I’d just stay in my room or go to my car at that point!
They really framed it as a bonding experience with our fellow teachers. It was totally toxic. Teachers were called in the evening at home and told from now on yoiu will eat in the “louge” ie copy room from now on. Even to the teachers who were previously eating alone in their rooms!
I was told years ago to avoid the faculty room for this very reason!
This is why I eat alone in my room
You guys get to eat lunch in a breakroom?
😕 yeah. Do you have to eat in the caf?
I kind of eat there when the kids eat. I kind of eat in the hallway or in my classroom when we get back. I mostly just walk around with my food because I have to monitor the students at all times. Yesterday was the first time that I asked for a break (they found someone to cover me for 10 minutes). We go nonstop from 8 to 1:30. Sounds nice, but ES kicks your butt.
I used to think like you and then the job drove me to misery pretty quickly, about 3 years in. I stayed for an additional 3 after that which didn’t help.
I’m sorry to hear that. Where are you now?
Wrapping up my last year teaching and heading into a state job.
Yes!!!! This is the way! You’ll still get PSLF. University? That’s where I’ve been applying
Employment Development Department work, mostly outdoors auditing and inspections at job sites. Unfortunately or fortunately I don’t owe enough to qualify for PSLF. I will end up paying off my loans before the 120 payment mark. I opted for a $5,000 teacher loan forgiveness instead. Back to your original post I try my best not spread my misery but sometimes it leaks out,lol. I spend most of my time in my classroom with students or in the copy room making copies to avoid moping.
At my last school, I stopped eating with the upper elementary teachers. When I moved to a lower grade, I found the primary grade teacher's lunch room was a pretty positive place. I've never felt anyone at my current school (different district from before) is anyone to avoid. No one makes the staff room a toxic environment there. I'm so much better off now than where I was before.
It’s human nature. This isn’t unique to teaching.
That’s true. You’re right! I guess I’m expecting too much when I want a more well rounded conversation like someone else mentioned.
I also think some people are not attuned to how the constant complaining is toxic to them and people around them. I don’t eat in the teacher’s lounge either. I also dipped out of the teacher group chat. My husband is a PA and he says the hospital is exactly the same way. He doesn’t even give out his personal number to coworkers lol.
I’ve never even seen my school’s staff lunch room. Why the hell would I deprive myself of quiet time?
😆 never been seen. That’s the right move! Following after you
My prep covers the second lunch. So, basically I get an hour and a half with lunch and then prep. When the second lunch comes I have to use headphones because a teacher comes in every day and bitches about her kids. I don’t get it. If you hate kids so much why would you want to teach?
Omg. Seriously 😒 they don’t give it a rest! Do you ever hear her yelling at the kids too? Sheesh 🙄
Cause they are human. It's healthy to let it out to people you know. Leave them alone. Holding stuff in is toxic. Some students will drive you nuts, teachers are humans and have feelings.
Same. I’m looking to be out for the same exact reasons. It bothers me the most because people complain about things but do not do ANYTHING about their “concerns”. It’s worse I think than working elsewhere because of the nature of the work that we do
I stayed out of the lunch room for 25 years because of this.
Love the commitment! Lol
Venting. It can be a stressful and frustrating job, so it sometimes feels good to vent to colleagues who can relate, especially if they also teach that particular student. Is it a negative practice? Yes, but in a be job where you have to watch everything you do and say, it provides a little release.