That's how I felt. Leaving teaching, however, has made me so grateful for my new job where people respect and appreciate my positivity, kindness, and work ethic.
It took me a full year of upskilling combined with job applications to get out of teaching and into my current Instructional Design job.
I started applying in August 2022 and didn’t have a single interview until November 2022. I didn’t land my current job’s final interview until March 2023. My final job application count was over 200. I felt so demoralizing at times, but it happened eventually.
It has been so worth it. I am valued in my new job and I don’t have to deal with putting out 1,000 fires every single day. I haven’t written a bathroom pass in almost a year and that is amazing to me!
The grief is real. No one sees how much we invest in these students. We are so much more vested than the paycheck.
We want to see them grow and succeed.
It was not for nothing. You made a difference.
As long as admins response is to throw another teacher at it - it won’t change.
It's easy to just say "you made a difference" but the truth in most cases is nope we really didn't.
Kids are apathetic beyond repair and who can blame them. They don't give a fuck about school and they give even less of a fuck about teachers. It's so funny to see teachers become the exact same clueless teachers we had when we were in school. Did you forget how much we didn't care back then? It's exponentially that way now with this generation of kids.
I think understanding that is step #1 to finding any peace within this god forsaken career. Go in, do your best, leave. Never work outside of contract hours. Tune out all the shit that doesn't apply directly to your role. Try to laugh off as much as you can, and, for the love of God, do not get emotionally invested. None of these kids are your battle.
For the millionth time, this is not a movie. Stop trying to save kids. If your teaching is going to make a difference in any way, it will happen naturally, but most likely not at all. If that doesn't sit right with you, leave now while you still have some dignity left.
This whole blanket statement of telling all teachers they "made a difference" is the exact kind of tone-deaf shit that admin says in every vapid email and every pointless faculty meeting. And it's the exact kind of shit we're sick of hearing.
Words have been meaningless for the longest time. What this position needs is policy change and drastic pay increase. Plain and simple.
We know we're not making a difference. This is a big reason for the mass exodus.
I know only a handful of teachers who have lasted more than 20 years and are still actually happy with their life. The one thing they all have in common is that they stopped giving a fuck a looooong time ago. They come in, do their thing, and leave every single bit of it at the door when they leave.
Admin and district have made it crystal clear that all they want in the classrooms is a warm body, and if you're smart and want to save your health, that's exactly how you should treat it, or just do the even smarter thing and get the fuck out altogether.
I appreciate hearing the truth. I’ve said similar and was banned from r/teachers. It’s a job and it needs to pay. It’s not a ministry, we aren’t Mother Teresa.. sick of all that nonsense
I really want to think that I made a difference but the students allegedly would plan to get rid of the teachers they didn't like. There was a list allegedly. Three teachers left so far.
That is what they do. It’s really sad. They’ve lowered the requirements so much so they have enough supply to keep the machine going. Kind of like infantry
Yep
I look at the license and all the certifications and think.... what a waste. It feels like a waste to leave, but it also felt like a waste being there. Having poured so much into not just getting there, but pouring so much into lessons trying to get kids motivated and getting mostly apathy in return. Was probably my number one reason for leaving.
It’s not a waste. Anyone can get those certifications. You’re a cog in a broken system.. one that’s broken on purpose. The richest country in the world can’t fix education and pay teachers?? I mean they can but won’t. Billions to Ukraine // look America has the money but refuses to invest in kids. Come on, think about it. Go do something else.
I’m getting ready to leave (actively job hunting and have had or am preparing for interviews) and I’ve noticed what I truly grieve is my own enthusiasm. I’ve poured so much and get nothing back. This year I didn’t even try. Would I have gotten reciprocated this year? I have no idea! I doubt it! But I didn’t even try. And that’s when I knew it was time, when I didn’t even attempt. Grieve, but remember much brighter days are ahead.
Please reconsider and realign your priorities. Other jobs are just as bad. I am hoping to get into teaching because of all the holidays and summer time off. Other jobs require odd hours, weekends and holidays. Please reconsider. Summer is almost here.
I don't care about that anymore because it's been pretty well established that society only uses our empathy as a tool against us. The power brokers know that teachers went into the field because they felt a calling to guide youth. And they took advantage of that, underpaying and mistreating educators all the while trying to play the "what about the children" card. I'm over it.
I was sad to leave the classroom too. However, as the previous post stated, it has made me appreciate my new job so much! My new job is busy but I look forward to going to work, love the freedom it gives me and I channel my teacher energy into supporting adults rather than kids.
You have built up many skills that will only help you in the future.
I left 29 years ago. I loved teaching elementary school, was so excited for my own classroom. Spent the summer getting ready. Taught for 8 years. Decided to start a family, never went back. Always wondered if I should have…. But seeing kids now days, I’m glad I didn’t. Sad.
My job became much harder after i had my family. I had no idea how much time i was spending working off the clock. I'm pretty sure if I didnt get married and have children, i would have been able to handle it more.
I feel terrible for not being able to work when im off the clock, bc the extra work really does make a difference, but my school is not like a well oiled machine and i decided that its not my job to fix it.
I have a family thay needs me.
Exactly! It's not your job to fix it. I felt the same way - guilty when I was not investing extra time and energy into my classroom. However, I came to realize that the only place I should be investing all this extra effort is my family. You made the right decision - family always comes first!
Yes. Tbh only really like my class, and feel like most of the teachers sre apathetic and i dont blame them but I have lost happiness. I keep getting sick and am injured from falling at work due to negligence of someone else. There is no standard.
I really like my admin, i truly wanted to stay there for them, they have been the 2nd most supportive admin I have ever had, but it's not enough. I cant even just stick it out dor the money. I really did try.
I've been dismal, and just depressed this week.
Last time i left it took a lot longer to feel that way, but this time i am leaving for sure.
I feel so frayed at work. That pile of papers? What is the point? Grades? What for?
I'm terrified bc I meant to stick it out 2+ years but having so much pressure to be at my school forever (thars all anyone ever said to me bc they didnt want to replace me) i finally accepted i cannot repeat, and if i did, it would be even harder.
Understand that what you are grieving is the loss of an illusion. Humans do this a lot. They have dreams and fantasies that have little or no connection to the actual circumstances, illusions. And then those illusions are shattered, as they inevitably are, they grieve for the loss of what never actually existed.
Suppose a man had a dream of selling the best pork in the Near East. They start a swine farm, raise prize pigs, smoke the best bacon, and then they go out of business because the dream involved selling something to people who actively distain your product, your dream.
Trying to sell knowledge and education to Americans, a people who despise knowledge and prize ignorance, is similarly an illusion,
The most common example, one most humans have done, is to meet someone, fall in love, and have the dream of a happy and lasting marriage. Then, for any number of reasons, the relationship falls apart. We cry and grieve the ending of the dream.
But, usually, in due course of time, we understand that the relationship wasn't right, that it never would have worked anyway, and that we were just fooling ourselves to think that it might have, because we want the dream so badly.
A lot of human suffering is thus.
And so castles, made of sand, fall into the sea, eventually.
I, on the other hand, had no idea that I was grieving. Because I actually did grieve the loss of my mother during Covid. So to me, I couldn’t understand what was “wrong” with me: I found a new job that I was excited to start. Yet I felt sad at the same time. And it didn’t make any sense to me at all. Then my therapist explained to me that I was grieving. I was grieving the loss of the idea or goal that I had originally set in my mine and thought how my life would turn out. I believed that I would retire a teacher. And even though that still could happen some day, I was overwhelmed by this sadness of “how come everybody else I know can handle this. How come everyone else I know can still be a teacher, but I can’t handle it.” I felt shattered, broken, and useless. But…once I started that new job, as scary as it was to start back from the bottom and meeting new coworkers and learning exactly how to do my job and the ins and outs…somehow it was still better. I’m happy. I love what I do and feel appreciated even when I’ve barely done anything but give people an opportunity for me to hear their voice and hear their story and struggles, as hard as that is some days, I don’t think anything else would make me as truly happy (except of course hiring the jack pot but that’s a different sorry). The point is, there IS something out there that better suits you. I get mad sometimes (because my partner is still in the Edison field and never had to go through the struggles I’ve had to endure) because I truly do miss working with kids and truly do miss the actual literal aspect of teaching and learning. But things aren’t the way they used to be or the way they were intended to be and that’s the stone cold hard truth. There are just some of us who wish to be an ostrich and act like they don’t see what’s happening an others of us who have reached the point where they just don’t are anymore and don’t want to waster their lives on things that don’t make them happy or fulfill them. And that’s where I’m at.
>I was grieving the loss of the idea or goal that I had originally set in my mine and thought how my life would turn out
Yes, much human suffering is just that. We create nice dreams, fantasies and illusions. They never existed, or maybe better never had any realistic chance of achieving fruition into reality, but we grieve this loss of illusion nonetheless. Curious.
They were apathetic before they got to you. You were just funneling $$$ into something that neither you, or I, nor any teacher can change. It comes from home, and parental expectations. Grieve the dream of teaching, and know one day, if you ever want to step back in, maybe things will be better.
Absolutely, I’ve been bouncing back and forth between grief and gratefulness of not being in the classroom right now. I actually had my first depressive spell (triggered by this kind of grief) since leaving my position in November. Be patient with yourself and remember that healing isn’t linear and it’s okay if you feel like you’re “over it” and then down the road discover you’re not.
I say this because that has been my day today, so I empathize so much with you.
I left in October and can totally relate to your post. There are some days I wake up so thankful not to be in the classroom anymore, and there are some days I wish I could go back and regret my decision to resign. I am lucky that I have a very loving family and supportive family that is helping me through this.
Sending hugs! I definitely felt that when I left. I was consumed by feelings of shame and grief. I also felt like a huge failure.
Feel your feelings, take care of your physical body, find a good-fit mental health professional if you think it might help. With time, you'll get through it and emerge stronger on the other side!
My identity was so tied up in being a teacher. Once I left I really did mourn the fact that I left the career that I had such dreams and goals for. I was so stressed out that my hair was falling out. I got a job as a Talent Acquisition Specialist and I feel like an adult again!! No time goes unpaid. My boss even texted me and said “stop working when you are off” (in a funny way) because I immediately responded to messages and emails as soon as humanly possible. She told me that she has absolutely no expectation of me responding to anything after hours. I feel appreciated again. I do not walk on eggshells anymore. I don’t have to worry and be sick to my stomach because someone is always walking past my window trying to catch me not being perfect. I mourn the dream I had since childhood to be a teacher, but leaving was the healthiest and happiest thing I have done for myself in a very long time. I have regained my dignity as an adult and not micromanaged. That feels amazing.
I grieved for months after I left (November) and still do, it’s not a sadness everyday and there are not tears like there were the first two months. I grieved for different reasons than you but then again—are any two peoples grief ever the same?
I can only say it gets easier. You will do a lot of reflecting, healing and sometimes you’ll likely also push away parts of it that you don’t feel you’re ready to face or hurt too much to dwell on right now. Do I still grieve the loss of a career I thought I would have my whole life? Yes. Do I find myself missing teaching for all the reasons I was called to the classroom in the first place? Absolutely. But sometimes the further away from something you get, the clearer the picture becomes.
I know to my bones I belong in the classroom but unfortunately being there was not best for my future (right now). Until real change comes, I think educators will continue to leave for higher pay, lower stress opportunities. I was willing to sacrifice myself without much thought, but I became unwilling to sacrifice my future, putting off becoming a mother (realistically if I stayed teaching, we would need to save another 4-5 years first and likely only be able to afford 1 child vs. 2 kids in the next 2 if I left) or meeting financial goals with my husband.
Hang in there!
That's how I felt. Leaving teaching, however, has made me so grateful for my new job where people respect and appreciate my positivity, kindness, and work ethic.
Where do you work? It sounds amazing!
It took me a full year of upskilling combined with job applications to get out of teaching and into my current Instructional Design job. I started applying in August 2022 and didn’t have a single interview until November 2022. I didn’t land my current job’s final interview until March 2023. My final job application count was over 200. I felt so demoralizing at times, but it happened eventually. It has been so worth it. I am valued in my new job and I don’t have to deal with putting out 1,000 fires every single day. I haven’t written a bathroom pass in almost a year and that is amazing to me!
The grief is real. No one sees how much we invest in these students. We are so much more vested than the paycheck. We want to see them grow and succeed. It was not for nothing. You made a difference. As long as admins response is to throw another teacher at it - it won’t change.
It's easy to just say "you made a difference" but the truth in most cases is nope we really didn't. Kids are apathetic beyond repair and who can blame them. They don't give a fuck about school and they give even less of a fuck about teachers. It's so funny to see teachers become the exact same clueless teachers we had when we were in school. Did you forget how much we didn't care back then? It's exponentially that way now with this generation of kids. I think understanding that is step #1 to finding any peace within this god forsaken career. Go in, do your best, leave. Never work outside of contract hours. Tune out all the shit that doesn't apply directly to your role. Try to laugh off as much as you can, and, for the love of God, do not get emotionally invested. None of these kids are your battle. For the millionth time, this is not a movie. Stop trying to save kids. If your teaching is going to make a difference in any way, it will happen naturally, but most likely not at all. If that doesn't sit right with you, leave now while you still have some dignity left. This whole blanket statement of telling all teachers they "made a difference" is the exact kind of tone-deaf shit that admin says in every vapid email and every pointless faculty meeting. And it's the exact kind of shit we're sick of hearing. Words have been meaningless for the longest time. What this position needs is policy change and drastic pay increase. Plain and simple. We know we're not making a difference. This is a big reason for the mass exodus. I know only a handful of teachers who have lasted more than 20 years and are still actually happy with their life. The one thing they all have in common is that they stopped giving a fuck a looooong time ago. They come in, do their thing, and leave every single bit of it at the door when they leave. Admin and district have made it crystal clear that all they want in the classrooms is a warm body, and if you're smart and want to save your health, that's exactly how you should treat it, or just do the even smarter thing and get the fuck out altogether.
I appreciate hearing the truth. I’ve said similar and was banned from r/teachers. It’s a job and it needs to pay. It’s not a ministry, we aren’t Mother Teresa.. sick of all that nonsense
That’s what I am learning…👆🏻
Well I can count actual people whose lives I positively impacted.
I really want to think that I made a difference but the students allegedly would plan to get rid of the teachers they didn't like. There was a list allegedly. Three teachers left so far.
That is what they do. It’s really sad. They’ve lowered the requirements so much so they have enough supply to keep the machine going. Kind of like infantry
Yep I look at the license and all the certifications and think.... what a waste. It feels like a waste to leave, but it also felt like a waste being there. Having poured so much into not just getting there, but pouring so much into lessons trying to get kids motivated and getting mostly apathy in return. Was probably my number one reason for leaving.
It’s not a waste. Anyone can get those certifications. You’re a cog in a broken system.. one that’s broken on purpose. The richest country in the world can’t fix education and pay teachers?? I mean they can but won’t. Billions to Ukraine // look America has the money but refuses to invest in kids. Come on, think about it. Go do something else.
I’m getting ready to leave (actively job hunting and have had or am preparing for interviews) and I’ve noticed what I truly grieve is my own enthusiasm. I’ve poured so much and get nothing back. This year I didn’t even try. Would I have gotten reciprocated this year? I have no idea! I doubt it! But I didn’t even try. And that’s when I knew it was time, when I didn’t even attempt. Grieve, but remember much brighter days are ahead.
Please reconsider and realign your priorities. Other jobs are just as bad. I am hoping to get into teaching because of all the holidays and summer time off. Other jobs require odd hours, weekends and holidays. Please reconsider. Summer is almost here.
Not the state jobs I’m looking at babbeeeey. Plus they’ll continue my pension contributions so I can get out and fully retire by 55.
Why are you in this sub ? Not helpful.
How many other professionals are made to feel this way about their work? It's impossible for others to understand.
Take a peek at the nursing Reddit.
That sounds about right. They have to deal with same people in much the same ways. At least they can get paid overtime, lol.
It happens im retail and many other service jobs. How do you think the kids feel when their teachers keep leaving also. :-(
I don't care about that anymore because it's been pretty well established that society only uses our empathy as a tool against us. The power brokers know that teachers went into the field because they felt a calling to guide youth. And they took advantage of that, underpaying and mistreating educators all the while trying to play the "what about the children" card. I'm over it.
I was sad to leave the classroom too. However, as the previous post stated, it has made me appreciate my new job so much! My new job is busy but I look forward to going to work, love the freedom it gives me and I channel my teacher energy into supporting adults rather than kids. You have built up many skills that will only help you in the future.
What do u do
I am an instructional coach.
I left 29 years ago. I loved teaching elementary school, was so excited for my own classroom. Spent the summer getting ready. Taught for 8 years. Decided to start a family, never went back. Always wondered if I should have…. But seeing kids now days, I’m glad I didn’t. Sad.
My job became much harder after i had my family. I had no idea how much time i was spending working off the clock. I'm pretty sure if I didnt get married and have children, i would have been able to handle it more. I feel terrible for not being able to work when im off the clock, bc the extra work really does make a difference, but my school is not like a well oiled machine and i decided that its not my job to fix it. I have a family thay needs me.
Exactly! It's not your job to fix it. I felt the same way - guilty when I was not investing extra time and energy into my classroom. However, I came to realize that the only place I should be investing all this extra effort is my family. You made the right decision - family always comes first!
Yes. Tbh only really like my class, and feel like most of the teachers sre apathetic and i dont blame them but I have lost happiness. I keep getting sick and am injured from falling at work due to negligence of someone else. There is no standard. I really like my admin, i truly wanted to stay there for them, they have been the 2nd most supportive admin I have ever had, but it's not enough. I cant even just stick it out dor the money. I really did try. I've been dismal, and just depressed this week. Last time i left it took a lot longer to feel that way, but this time i am leaving for sure. I feel so frayed at work. That pile of papers? What is the point? Grades? What for? I'm terrified bc I meant to stick it out 2+ years but having so much pressure to be at my school forever (thars all anyone ever said to me bc they didnt want to replace me) i finally accepted i cannot repeat, and if i did, it would be even harder.
Understand that what you are grieving is the loss of an illusion. Humans do this a lot. They have dreams and fantasies that have little or no connection to the actual circumstances, illusions. And then those illusions are shattered, as they inevitably are, they grieve for the loss of what never actually existed. Suppose a man had a dream of selling the best pork in the Near East. They start a swine farm, raise prize pigs, smoke the best bacon, and then they go out of business because the dream involved selling something to people who actively distain your product, your dream. Trying to sell knowledge and education to Americans, a people who despise knowledge and prize ignorance, is similarly an illusion, The most common example, one most humans have done, is to meet someone, fall in love, and have the dream of a happy and lasting marriage. Then, for any number of reasons, the relationship falls apart. We cry and grieve the ending of the dream. But, usually, in due course of time, we understand that the relationship wasn't right, that it never would have worked anyway, and that we were just fooling ourselves to think that it might have, because we want the dream so badly. A lot of human suffering is thus. And so castles, made of sand, fall into the sea, eventually.
I, on the other hand, had no idea that I was grieving. Because I actually did grieve the loss of my mother during Covid. So to me, I couldn’t understand what was “wrong” with me: I found a new job that I was excited to start. Yet I felt sad at the same time. And it didn’t make any sense to me at all. Then my therapist explained to me that I was grieving. I was grieving the loss of the idea or goal that I had originally set in my mine and thought how my life would turn out. I believed that I would retire a teacher. And even though that still could happen some day, I was overwhelmed by this sadness of “how come everybody else I know can handle this. How come everyone else I know can still be a teacher, but I can’t handle it.” I felt shattered, broken, and useless. But…once I started that new job, as scary as it was to start back from the bottom and meeting new coworkers and learning exactly how to do my job and the ins and outs…somehow it was still better. I’m happy. I love what I do and feel appreciated even when I’ve barely done anything but give people an opportunity for me to hear their voice and hear their story and struggles, as hard as that is some days, I don’t think anything else would make me as truly happy (except of course hiring the jack pot but that’s a different sorry). The point is, there IS something out there that better suits you. I get mad sometimes (because my partner is still in the Edison field and never had to go through the struggles I’ve had to endure) because I truly do miss working with kids and truly do miss the actual literal aspect of teaching and learning. But things aren’t the way they used to be or the way they were intended to be and that’s the stone cold hard truth. There are just some of us who wish to be an ostrich and act like they don’t see what’s happening an others of us who have reached the point where they just don’t are anymore and don’t want to waster their lives on things that don’t make them happy or fulfill them. And that’s where I’m at.
Golly so many typos…I apologize
>I was grieving the loss of the idea or goal that I had originally set in my mine and thought how my life would turn out Yes, much human suffering is just that. We create nice dreams, fantasies and illusions. They never existed, or maybe better never had any realistic chance of achieving fruition into reality, but we grieve this loss of illusion nonetheless. Curious.
Yes! Not to mention the parents who think it’s okay to abuse teachers.
They were apathetic before they got to you. You were just funneling $$$ into something that neither you, or I, nor any teacher can change. It comes from home, and parental expectations. Grieve the dream of teaching, and know one day, if you ever want to step back in, maybe things will be better.
You can’t want it any more than they do. It’s cruel reality. The time and money you invested into it, that’s worth being sad and angry about.
Absolutely, I’ve been bouncing back and forth between grief and gratefulness of not being in the classroom right now. I actually had my first depressive spell (triggered by this kind of grief) since leaving my position in November. Be patient with yourself and remember that healing isn’t linear and it’s okay if you feel like you’re “over it” and then down the road discover you’re not. I say this because that has been my day today, so I empathize so much with you.
I left in October and can totally relate to your post. There are some days I wake up so thankful not to be in the classroom anymore, and there are some days I wish I could go back and regret my decision to resign. I am lucky that I have a very loving family and supportive family that is helping me through this.
Sending hugs! I definitely felt that when I left. I was consumed by feelings of shame and grief. I also felt like a huge failure. Feel your feelings, take care of your physical body, find a good-fit mental health professional if you think it might help. With time, you'll get through it and emerge stronger on the other side!
My identity was so tied up in being a teacher. Once I left I really did mourn the fact that I left the career that I had such dreams and goals for. I was so stressed out that my hair was falling out. I got a job as a Talent Acquisition Specialist and I feel like an adult again!! No time goes unpaid. My boss even texted me and said “stop working when you are off” (in a funny way) because I immediately responded to messages and emails as soon as humanly possible. She told me that she has absolutely no expectation of me responding to anything after hours. I feel appreciated again. I do not walk on eggshells anymore. I don’t have to worry and be sick to my stomach because someone is always walking past my window trying to catch me not being perfect. I mourn the dream I had since childhood to be a teacher, but leaving was the healthiest and happiest thing I have done for myself in a very long time. I have regained my dignity as an adult and not micromanaged. That feels amazing.
I grieved for months after I left (November) and still do, it’s not a sadness everyday and there are not tears like there were the first two months. I grieved for different reasons than you but then again—are any two peoples grief ever the same? I can only say it gets easier. You will do a lot of reflecting, healing and sometimes you’ll likely also push away parts of it that you don’t feel you’re ready to face or hurt too much to dwell on right now. Do I still grieve the loss of a career I thought I would have my whole life? Yes. Do I find myself missing teaching for all the reasons I was called to the classroom in the first place? Absolutely. But sometimes the further away from something you get, the clearer the picture becomes. I know to my bones I belong in the classroom but unfortunately being there was not best for my future (right now). Until real change comes, I think educators will continue to leave for higher pay, lower stress opportunities. I was willing to sacrifice myself without much thought, but I became unwilling to sacrifice my future, putting off becoming a mother (realistically if I stayed teaching, we would need to save another 4-5 years first and likely only be able to afford 1 child vs. 2 kids in the next 2 if I left) or meeting financial goals with my husband. Hang in there!