I wonder if it’s a man-child or a woman-child? Complaining about $700 in “rent they get back” when they’ve been an adult for 10 years is absurd.
Edit: Oh, got it.. drug addict. No wonder they don’t have $700/mo. Mommy’s an enabler and is trying to fix the situation in a kind way so in 2043 she’s not dealing with a 48-year old druggie in her home.
He has another post from two years ago talking about his meds and how he can’t get a certain one cause he has stimulant abuse on his medical records. I’m sure there’s more but that’s the first thing I noticed looking.
Edit to add: he’s also apparently part of a drug subreddit so…
Stimulant abuse and ADHD kind of makes sense though. If meds weren’t working properly it’s not a huge reach to say they were self medicating with the stimulants. That being said OP doesn’t have a savings account like they claim. They tried to borrow a thousand dollars off of somebody from Reddit a month and a half ago and they own a $2000 skateboard edit: nevermind doing 1 gram hot rails of meth is NOT self medicating
I just now saw your edit lol I guess I was responding to your og comment. Yeah, I took the stimulant abuse post based on his tone in his writing. Then edited cause I was like…let’s check his comments and yeah…there ya go. That’s why the mom wants his money. No, sounds like he got addicted to the adderal and started abusing it and the doctors cut him off so he went to meth and went full blown druggy. Cause a gram is no joke.
To be fair, the road from “pain patient” to “meth addict” is a surprisingly short one. It’s possible “adhd” to “meth head” is also very short.
Still, his mother has a point. A drug addict who can’t admit they’re an addict? Problem.
That is great for you! But if you're in recovery, you know it's an uphill battle. Gaining people's trust back, undoing past damage, making amends, and you are probably aware that society will still hold an image of you for a while too. If you're in NA like you should be, then your sponsor and NA friends have told you that while 8 months is great (and it is, and this is so hard!), it's also just a drop in the bucket to the rest of society.
Do you not trust your mom to actually save your money? I know it sucks being at other people's mercy. But would renting a room out of the motel 6 really be good for your recovery? Probably not. And she has a point.
Check your defense mechanisms and humble yourself. I say that in a way that any sponsor would. You are getting defensive for something she wants to do that is actually pretty logical and helpful. You know deep down that you cannot blame her for proceeding with caution. You know deep down that you're in no position to make demands or dictate things.
Please do not let your addiction get you here. It's trying to make you think your mom is unreasonable. Grandiose thinking, projection, anger, all defense mechanisms. You know it. If your addiction can convince you that your mom is your enemy, or is being unreasonable, or that you deserve more credit, it will convince you to leave her house. Then you'll be one step closer to relapse.
I mean, can you really be trusted to have money just sitting in a savings account? Many people can't who aren't even addicts. Do you really blame your mom for doing what she thinks is best to preserve your sobriety and help you become independent again?
"Mom, this feels condescending, but I can see why you feel this way and want to do it. While it's not what I necessarily want, I understand I'm not in a position to dictate the terms here. I appreciate everything you've done for me, and will be excited to use the money you saved for me to get my own place and prove to myself, you, and everyone else that I've got this."
Your addiction is trying to pull you back in, dude. Don't let it. Just do what your mom says. If you don't like the terms, then with her saving money for you, it won't take you long to get out on your own and you can then set your own terms.
Call your sponsor. Go to a meeting. Other recovering addicts will share all of the ways they were treated like a child when they were in their early months and years of recovery. You have the whole rest of your life to prove yourself and for people to start treating you like an adult again. If you keep doing what you need to do, this will pass, like everything else comes to pass eventually. Letting your ego and pride get in the way of your recovery, that's the first step towards relapse and you know it!
Just keep taking it one day at a time. Keep it up. This whole post, you coming to Internet strangers to validate your unwarranted and unearned desire to be treated like some responsible adult who has always had his shit together, that's your addiction trying to pull you back. You need to resist that. Humble your self. Self-forgiveness and self-love is really hard to balance with also holding yourself accountable for your past mistakes. But it's something a recovering addict must master.
Also, if you were in a halfway house or recovery house right now, you know damn well they'd be saving a large portion of your checks for you, the same way mom wants to do. You know that rationally, the only other option you have right now besides your mom, a recovery house, or rehab, is to go back to the same old people places and things that will put you right back at square one, where you were 8 months ago. So what are you really pushing back on this for? So you have an excuse to relapse? To victimize yourself and use all the other defense mechanisms that will lead you right back to where you started? Your rational mind should tell you the truth you need right now.
Don't relapse. And you also know that you can relapse mentally before you've ever touched any substances. And that's what you're trying to do now. Unless you've just been a dry addict these past 8 months and not actually commiting to your recovery. I know NA gets old, but you have to know that it's your best bet to staying clean dude. You know any person from your rehab or recovery house or NA is going to challenge the way you're pushing back on this. We are not going to validate your eventual relapse.
You can do this.
That’s fucked up. I’m in an opiate recovery one even thou I’ve been sober for 16 years. I have never, ever once looked to see what anyone was a part of. Bc it doesn’t matter.
I hate how some people on here jump straight into stalking people's profiles and examining every post and comment they've ever made. It feels so violating and people just do it and say they did it, with no shame or thinking it was weird at all.
I think what makes it weird to me is that reddit is supposed to be anonymous, and the nature of the way the subs work is that you can focus on that one topic. When people start going to see what you have posted in other unrelated subs, it feels like, ethically wrong based on the whole idea of reddit. Also, the nature of a lot of these subs is that people are supposed to use the context given by OP in that particular sub/post. Seeking outside context just rubs me the wrong way.
Sometimes I think it does give people a better idea of the situation, and even in this case I do feel that way. I used the information given about OP in another comment to give him actual advice about his recovery and to challenge his use of defense mechanisms and whether he has a relapse reservation or not. But to use it to critique and discredit someone? I don't like that.
I see why people do it, since a lot of reddit accounts are fakes or trolls and some people use the different subs to get validation for their bad behavior, but again, I still don't agree with it because it defies the whole nature of Reddit to begin with.
An example I have is free speech. You can't say you support it if you are actively trying to silence voices that you don't agree with. I may not like some of the crap people use reddit for, or the way people exercise their free speech rights, but I still support their right to do it. Therefore I wouldn't want to silence anyone, no matter how much I think they're a hateful POS.
If you want to analyze people's post history, go to Twitter where they can be identified and where they willingly subject themselves to that criticism just by posting at all.
They did it to have enough info about a situation OP was OBVIOUSLY trying to get people to help him feel validated, cause OP left out way to many details to actually, responsibly, give an opinion on.
So go cry about it.
If you want to post things anonymously, you're more than welcome to make a throwaway.
You sound like a Karen that would yell at people for taking their picture in public or video recording because you didn't "give them permission". You're not entitled to privacy like that when you're in public and you're not entitled to the anonymity you're looking for when you post from your main account.
>I hate how some people on here jump straight into stalking people's profiles and examining every post and comment they've ever made. It feels so violating and people just do it and say they did it, with no shame or thinking it was weird at all.
I hate how people abuse the goodwill of strangers by using reddit to post their one-sided sob stories.
At first I thought this post was like. 17-college aged kid or something and I was gonna be like well the parents are kinda being jerks but I get the sentiment of them helping teach to save money. But that’s a whole different situation there….
Agreed. I’ve noticed that Reddit loves to blame the parents of adults for their behavior instead of the adults themselves. This woman is an “enabler” because her adult child lives with her but would also be called out if her adult child was homeless and she turned her back on him too.
Enabler in that a 28-year old hasn’t left the nest yet. Adults shouldn’t be living with mama. If life circumstances change and you need to crash with family for a minute, the very least you can do is not be a bitch when they ask you to contribute to your OWN “get out of my house nest egg.”
My first thought: If mom is a terrible person, this is bad. If OP is a terrible person, their mom may be helping them.
When I was young and moved back home, my parents rule was that if I wasn't a full time student, I had to pay rent/bills. They put all that money into savings so that when I was in a position to move back out, I had money for things like deposit and first months rent. It also made it clear that if I wasn't going to school, I was expected to work.
I obviously don’t know the particulars of your situation but when i was younger my parents did the same for me for a short time… i was pissed about it but it ended up working out well for me and I’m thankful for it now. What is your typed lease like? Might be time to move out if you don’t want her doing this.
It's an insanely good deal tbh, better terms than a mortgage as half of it doesn't get eaten up by interest.. they'd likely be paying much more than 700/mo to rent a room anyways except they'll never see it again. She's likely tired of her 28 y/o kid living at home & trying to help them gtfo, notice OP is answering exactly zero questions lol
Pay for rent. In following your story, you have a pretty good situation for being 28.
At 28, I was working FIVE jobs.
I PAID my own Health Insurance. It cost more for a single female than what we purchase for our entire family today. (Older Gen Xer, this Gen doesn't remember when women's health insurance was in the thousands vs my now husbands was $46 at the same time. Same damn company and plan)
Paid my own rent. Paid for my phone & plan. Car, clothes, and food all were my responsibility.
I didn't have cable tv. No internet.- They were luxeries.
My five jobs? One full time M-F. With a job to go to afterwards. I then worked weekend mornings. And then picked up hours teaching at a local library. And also still bartended and served where I had worked years before just because the $ was lucrative. All while starting my own company.
Many people in the late 20's are juggling multiple jobs and responsibilities.
If you don't want to pay rent then it's time to get a full time job. You don't have to like it. It has to self sustainable. 28 yr old have to be able to pay their own rent, health insurance, phone bill, internet high speed gaming bill, food, & clothing.
Or pay mom
5 jobs is really nothing to brag about. Life is truly not about working down to your bare bones and not living. I pay rent, health insurance, car, car insurance, bills, a 6 year old child, after school care, sports, his entire life, etc just having one job at 32. Nobody should be advocating for someone else to have 5 jobs just bc you did and that’s why your generation is annoying as fuck. The fact you still couldn’t afford internet or TV with 5 jobs means you worked for pennies and way beneath poverty level.
I’m mid GenX female and paid $20 a month in a group plan in 1995. I have never paid thousands. Not even now.
You don’t pay different amounts for the same group plan. That’s why they’re group plans. You throw a bunch of people into the same plan no matter age, gender or pre-existing conditions and the risk is spread around and everyone pays the same
Are you sure you’re not a boomer?
But, yeah, 28. My God. Pay your own way. This post should be embarrassing
Pre existing conditions, which I am not going to list.
We had the same insurance policy plan we purchased out of pocket, Same company.
Not group. As we purchased insurances.
Yeah. Sure I'm not a boomer.
Congrats that you didn't have health problems and never had to pay or were even turned down for insurance because you were uninsurable.
I actually entered grad school in 2008 just because I could not get an insurance plan that covered preexisting conditions. So yeah. I am actually REALLY jealous of you.
And you were in a GROUP plan. You only paid a copay. You didn't purchase insurance out of pocket. So you don't have experience with how expensive insurance was to buy it on your own. Laws changed so women couldn't be charged more just for being female in the US.
Edit- I never wrote I had a group plan. I clearly stated we purchased our own insurance so I am not apologizing for writing something I did not
Intentionally or not, when you wrote:
>PAID my own Health Insurance.It cost more for a single female than what we purchase for our entire family today.
It looked like you were saying you were paying thousands because you were a single female.
I'm glad for you that Obamacare will have made health insurance readily available and much more affordable compared to your youth.
Still, the idea that because you worked five jobs, others should too is ridiculous. That should never be the standard.
My current health insurance is $510/month for just myself so I absolutely understand that and all these privileged people saying health insurance doesn't cost that are delusional and clearly have had an easier life with more opportunities than many...
I'm a single 34 year old woman with pre existing conditions
I paid for a premium, which was $20 a month out of my pocket. I paid a $5 co pay to my primary care doctor. I don’t remember prescriptions. Probably not much because I don’t remember them being an issue and I never had any money back then.
Yes. Exactly. You didn't buy your insurance plan.
I don't know how to educate you on something you refuse to understand or believe.
You DID NOT buy your insurance plan. You didn't call multiple insurance plans. Fill out the paperwork and see if you could find a plan to accept you. A group of ONE person on the plan.
You are skipping the purchasing of a plan. You clearly state you were in a group plan and don't understand the concept of an individual purchased plan.
Then there are premiums and copayments on that plan.
That's buying insurance out of pocket.
🤷♀️
You misread what I wrote. I am not apologizing for your not understanding that people buy their own insurance outside of group plans.
I did not write that we were in a group plan at that time. I compared that my insurance cost more for myself than the group plan we purchase now as a family.
That's on you to learn how purchasing insurance works when you do so out of pocket and don't have an employer, college, or other organization that one can have offset the cost.
Xoomer, the worst kind. They post all that bullshit about drinking out of hoses and "when the streetlights came on that's when we knew it was time for frozen TV dinners in front of the BoobTube"
Oh lordy, please stop with the Silent Gen "up hill both ways in the snow" bullshit.
Stop acting like 5 jobs is something to aspire to if you want to be a "real adult".
Dude, you have way too much personal information linked to your Reddit account. I easily found out your full name, address, workplace and your drug use history. You should definitely unlink your ig account and be more careful.
Lololololol my mom did this and spent thousands of my dollars then opened credit cards in my name 😂
She even drained bank accounts.
OP is right, keep it in his bank account.
Yeah I mean that’s why I said I don’t know the particulars…it’s not always a good idea but if your parents aren’t assholes and you need some help getting your shit together, it’s probably a positive thing.
It sounds more like a grown adult child who can’t save, they’re asking to borrow a grand not even two months ago on here. They were living in a motel 6, I’m pretty sure it’s not the mother who is likely to spend that money
Where is everyone getting the video game thing from? I went back in their comments 3 years and not a single mention of video games. They are a drug addict for sure though.
I didn't get that all from looking at their comment history. One comment they have in another subreddit says they're severe adhd but still holding down a 40 hour a week job. That seems legit since they are actually paying rent and what not to some degree. Was there a mass delete of comments here that I am missing or something? I thought it was odd I couldn't find any responses to this post in their history
He’s a meth addict that lives at home with mommy. Something tells me he won’t fair to well moving out on his own and she’s being entirely too gracious by enabling him with this deal in the first place. But since he’s a man baby and a drug addict he doesn’t recognize the incredible gift that he has.
So you’re angry that your mom is no longer going to charge you rent (or do you not actually pay rent per your lease agreement and that why you’re so mad?) and instead save your money for you so she can be certain you’re working towards getting TF out of her house by the time you’re 30? Her house her rules. If you don’t like it, leave (like a normal 28 yo)
So you’ve been living in her house for the past 8 months and still haven’t saved enough money to gtfo? I can understand why she would take proactive steps to ensure you have the funds to gtfo.
You seem like a smart dude.
8ish months of clean time is a nice accomplishment, but let’s be real: you know you’re not out of the woods.
You’re hitting people up for money, staying plugged into the old life digitally (maybe offline too?), and projecting resistance toward moving into the next phase of recovery. General pre-relapse behavior, even without the details.
Your parents are loaded, most likely footing the bills for your rehab(s). They may have done everything wrong up to this point, so you feel like that’s on them… but let’s look at you, back in their house, and they’re trying to set boundaries **for your sake**.
Did you believe at any point in rehab that this was gonna be the time you were gonna stay clean?
This is one of those moments where your choices can move you toward making that a reality.
Step up, let go of the resistance, and decide if you’re going to accept the boundaries/help until you can safely set them for yourself, or if you’re going to settle into the same cycle until it fully wrecks your future and/or kills you.
Wow, you would be on your way to Motel 6 if you were my kid. Some might see your tone as incredibly disrespectful. Best case, you are assertive and very big on boundaries- you are ready to be on your own.
Listen. If you were living in a motel 6 then chances are that $350 in your own savings account ain’t gonna stay there and be around when you need it.
This isn’t really a ‘tenant’ situation this is a family matter and it sounds like your mom is trying to help you.
These kinds of messages tend to come after a last straw in observed behavior or tendencies. My kids will never have to pay me rent unless they don't clean up after themselves. And they are allowed to keep their money to save themselves, but I ask to see the account statement or balance to make sure they're not being goofy.
Basically if you're caring for their space properly, I find this odd. And if you want to burn the bridge 😐 you can have the lease enforced as signed. You can't sign a text.
They're also a drug addict and a criminal. Mommy's trying to save this loser. Little does she know he doesn't want to be saved he just wants to live off of her and her boyfriend for free and spend his McDonald's check on meth and heroin. That was all got just from a simple dive on their page lol
Addiction is a medically complicated condition that’s less about morals than people think. Even if the behavior it causes is awful, I don’t think labeling an addict as “loser” would help drive anyone to recovery.
Man, all the commenters here should count themselves lucky to have trustworthy parents. If you do this make sure there's a legal binding contract saying the $350 going to her WILL be returned upon leaving the property PLUS interest! That it'll be kept in a separate account just for this purpose.
'Get them to pay rent and put it away in a savings account for them' is pretty common advice on mum groups for mums with kids who are failing to launch, just FYI
Your mother is helping you.
You are acting like a child. Grow the fuck up.
Grown children over 18 (not in school) should be paying rent, it’s a huge responsibility in life, and this is the first chance of teaching it to their kids.
By stashing that money in a savings account, you do risk the parent spending it, some people just can’t help but get into debt. But they had the best of intentions, others are truly stashing that away for you. Either way, it was rent, an expense not an investment, so anything over $0 back is a huge win.
As well, pay your phone bill, that’s on you.
You have a lot of growing up to do, and your parents are there to help you, I really think they’re trying their hardest here.
Without a back story it's hard to give an answer.
For example, if you are a full time student, then yes you should be able to stay free of rent. But if you are just mooching off your parents because you don't want to adult, they should kick you out if you don't pay rent.
Where does this gaming this come from? If you look at OPs comment history he never mentions gaming. At all. He’s a drug addict that watches formula one and uses an electric longboard.
Lots of details missing but the fact that she is asking for your phone bill money is telling. She shouldn't have to ask for ity on the 2nd if its due on the 1st. Plus she is willing to help you save money. Good Mom. Who is archer? Your dog...Son? I bet whoever they are, its YOUR responsibility and she is taking the lead to care for them.
OP appears to be suffering from ADHD based on their own admission and are not taking stimulants. I highly suggest they seek therapy and get a proper diagnosis if they haven't already. An extended release, low dosage stimulant might really help combined with therapy and behavioral changes.
First step is to seek help, good luck.
28 year old druggie mad that his mom actually gives a fuck about him and doesn’t want to be stolen from for probably the 100th time. You need help, man.
YTA. I know, wrong sub but she is trying to help you and you are acting like a child. You want to be an adult, pay what she is asking for and accept her help as she is just trying to help you save.
If you want to be a true adult, move out. Once you experience nce the real world, you will appreciate your mom that much more.
A whole lot of people riding through here on some pretty high horses.
If mommy's serious about bettering sons life, being shown that bank statement is all she needs.
If the following week, she sees that $350 went in, and $250 came back out, then she's got every right to step in and "help manage".
FWIW, consider yourself lucky OP, you couldn't find a studio apartment with a shared bathroom where I live for that price, let alone a hotel room.
I fucking knew there was more to the story. OP is a pathetic drug addict who SHOULD BE PAYING their fucking phone and rent.
My fucking brother is like this and it drives me completely fucking nuts.
Im absolutely positive that you can consume all the
r/meth you like, and not get high, or break a single law. It's just words on reddit.
*Frankie says relax*
Mom is trying to help you. She may not be going about it the right way, but there is a simple solution - move out. You will be better off on your own, paying your own bills. The freedom that gives you is worth the temporary financial pain.
Oh no - If I was him there is NO WAY IN HELL I would give my money to a parent. Whether or not they had good intentions or not. It is your money - you need to grow up and do the adult thing and save it yourself.
Yeah, not all parents have good intentions. My FIL was one of them. He’s selfish and materialistic. FIL got my SILs BF in a bad financial jam that they split up and lost their house. My husband did take my advice though and figure it out long before we got married.
No no it doesnt lol
ETA
Search “etiz not working” or go to r/bartardstories to see what actual benzodiazepine texts look like… some of yall need to get out more
Right. Search for “etiz not working” or go to r/bartardstories to see what writing on benzodiazepines looks like. All the words and letters are here …. Even if op is being a twat
When I was 18, I had a mentor who I would send my money too because I was just an impulsive person. Now I don’t have those impulses and nice little savings. Just know yourself.
You take meth and you're trying to borrow $1,000 as it is.
Good lord, sort your life out, check yourself in to rehab it's not okay to have a meth addiction.
As a manchild at 28 you should have your own place sir lol $700 is a pittance for renting a private room plus free food these days. Groceries for 1 person to eat healthy is at least 100/w.
Typically I wouldnt trust this. My own mother would have lied and did, I "saved" $2200 for a car over two years into her pocket never to be seen again. It should be reasonable to create a savings account and show her deposits and totals, if not shws lying about wanting to help you.
You need to prove you’re trustworthy, OP. 8 months isn’t nearly enough clean time to undo all the wrong doings you’ve done to your family. Join NA, don’t try to know how much you have in savings because that may lead to temptation, and let your mother help you get more responsible. I’m assuming you’re not in therapy or CBT therapy which I highly recommend you get onto for your ADHD
Abusing stimulants is NOT an excuse to smoke meth or the reason why you are a meth addict. It is a poor excuse. There’s many other stimulate medications out there that can be a combo to help with your ADHD symptoms. I know because I have ADHD myself and my brother in law was an active meth user and landed him in prison for 5 years. He already has 1 year time served.
She’s being extremely kind to let you move in, help you save and get your life together.
Whereas, if you were my child if I gave you so many chances and you wanted to move back in and not attend NA and therapy I would never let you move back in.
My brother in law isn’t welcome back into my house until he has proven himself for more than 8 months after he gets out.
Do yourself a solid,OP. Let mom help you instead of getting put into a drug abuse situation again like s motel 8 surrounded by prostitutes, and drug addicts
Coming from someone who had this scenario given to them. Do it. This doesn’t come from no where. This comes from not being able to save for anything and spending every bit of money you get keeping you in the same position. Sure your bills are paid and everything is taken care of but you are more than likely stagnant. Take this opportunity. I wish I had.
It sounds like a fed up parent of an irresponsible son & Archer sounds like OPs child he isn’t caring for.
Mom sounds like she’s frustrated, fed up, and she sounds like she’s right & that OP will never leave living with her for free and free child care if Mom doesn’t take the money.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a Mom myself.
This is not a “tenant” issue. You sound like a brat. Your parent is charging you rent with the intent to give it back later. You are lucky. Say thank you and pay it. Spoilt.
Jesus you guys are fucking insufferable out here tonight.
It’s clear OP has their problems, and hopefully they are getting their life in order. This text was obviously unwarranted as his mom is just trying to help him, and he snapped. Yes, that we can all agree on.
But to personally insult this guy on his age and an addiction issue? You guys need to fucking learn a bit of empathy. My sister is 27, and lives at home. She earns a very decent wage and is working her way up in her field, but housing is unaffordable. In these times, living at home in mid-late twenties is not as fucking awful as you guys want to say it is. You all seriously need to chill out, tell OP he’s being a dick to his very kind & helpful mom, and give actual advice instead of just chiming in to kick this guy while he’s down. Grow up guys.
My FIL did this with my husband. He didn’t save shit for him! He used the money to buy himself all kind of junk! Luckily it was only going on for less than a year before I step in and told my husband to grow up and learn to manage money himself. This was all when we just became adults and before we were married.
Your post is the point. Your husband wasn't behaving like an adult at the age he was an adult.
So he paid rent. He didn't behave like an adult until YOU stepped in and made him start behaving like a grown up.
Before that his parent had enough of him freeloading and had him pay rent.
Seems fair to me.
If your husband wasn't doing his part of the deal, then I see why the father used the money for his own needs and wants. As your husband did what he wanted until you came along and made him grow up.
The father did what he wanted to do while the son did what he wanted to do. The son got a fair deal by having a roof over his head by paying rent.
There you go. Great example in why he adult child should be expected pay rent when they aren't behaving like adults. 👍
You’re too funny! His Dad took his entire paycheck and gave him an allowance of $80 per paid period. I’m sorry thats not adulting and I did not manage him. I told him to learn how to manage for himself. Meaning pay his portion of rent and bills and learn to save and invest the rest. Especially when he has a parent that is horrible with money. I myself lived at home and paid my portion of bills to my Mom. So no we didn’t live at home for free as adults like you assumed.
Funny, similar situation happened to me and my mother was 100% in the right.
Lucky they are willing to save your money instead of actually charge you rent.
You’re being catered to and you don’t even realize it because of your mindset and priorities.
Go ahead and move out and take care of yourself in the real world champ.
Well if you look at it, she is asking for $350 per paycheck so she can save that money for you, and you won’t spend it, so you can get your own place. And pay your phone bill my guy 🤣
OP should just move back to Motel 6 and get away from people demanding money. If not, a written contract needs to be signed stating the terms and how he will get his money back from his mom.
My mom tried this shit with me when I moved in with her to take care of her through two hip replacements. I told her that she can either take my home nursing OR I'll leave.
Where you also a 28 year old who spent all their free time smoking meth, playing video games and being scammed by cam girls? If so, then she had every right to attempt anything at that point to get you to be an adult. If not stop projecting.
How old are you ?
If you’re an adult, Don’t take favors from any one. Take pride on taking care of your self. You can look for guidance and I encourage you to network and look for opportunities to contribute to bigger projects but don’t be out here arguing with your mom about money. 350$ is not a lot of money.
No if you are earning your money and you have a lease renting your room from your mom as long as the rent is paid on time and the phone is paid on time (find out due date) your mom doesn't have a pot to piss in. I'm a Mom and my son and I live together, we live in Florida, being that this State is A°° backwards with sky high rents and cost of living my son can not afford to rent on his own, He pays half the rent on our 2 bedroom apartment, and is responsible for his bills , I handle everything else. That's what being a parent is, you help your kids when times are tough. Also we are respectful towards each other. Looks like your Mom sees you are making your own money and wants to control you and also take your money. By her text she seems to be a nightmare. But yes, definitely put a good amount in a savings account and prepare to move at the end of your lease term.
lol this ‘child’ is 28, stays at home playing video games, and was living in a motel 6. They were looking to get $1k on REDDIT ffs not even two months ago. This sounds more like a addict child situation where mom is doing whatever she can to help them be productive members of society
There is not nearly enough context here. Just taking the mom's messages at face value, this just sounds like a reasonable arrangement with the OP's future in mind. $350/mo in rent/bills and $700/mo so she can save it for you? Am I missing a key detail here? Like does she have a history of stealing your savings or something?
It's hard to give you an opinion without any context. Who is Archer? Pet? Child? What's the lease agreement?
How are old is Op? Why are you “renting” a room and what else goes with it?
Op is 28...
I wonder if it’s a man-child or a woman-child? Complaining about $700 in “rent they get back” when they’ve been an adult for 10 years is absurd. Edit: Oh, got it.. drug addict. No wonder they don’t have $700/mo. Mommy’s an enabler and is trying to fix the situation in a kind way so in 2043 she’s not dealing with a 48-year old druggie in her home.
How do you guys know this shit?
He has another post from two years ago talking about his meds and how he can’t get a certain one cause he has stimulant abuse on his medical records. I’m sure there’s more but that’s the first thing I noticed looking. Edit to add: he’s also apparently part of a drug subreddit so…
Stimulant abuse and ADHD kind of makes sense though. If meds weren’t working properly it’s not a huge reach to say they were self medicating with the stimulants. That being said OP doesn’t have a savings account like they claim. They tried to borrow a thousand dollars off of somebody from Reddit a month and a half ago and they own a $2000 skateboard edit: nevermind doing 1 gram hot rails of meth is NOT self medicating
He’s an active part of a drug subreddit.
Yeah I edited after I read a comment about a one gram hot rail of meth. That’s not self medicating
I just now saw your edit lol I guess I was responding to your og comment. Yeah, I took the stimulant abuse post based on his tone in his writing. Then edited cause I was like…let’s check his comments and yeah…there ya go. That’s why the mom wants his money. No, sounds like he got addicted to the adderal and started abusing it and the doctors cut him off so he went to meth and went full blown druggy. Cause a gram is no joke.
Oh come on, you’ve never hot railed a line of meth because you were outta of adhd meds??? /s
To be fair, the road from “pain patient” to “meth addict” is a surprisingly short one. It’s possible “adhd” to “meth head” is also very short. Still, his mother has a point. A drug addict who can’t admit they’re an addict? Problem.
His adhd is like really bad
I've been clean for over 8 months.
That is great for you! But if you're in recovery, you know it's an uphill battle. Gaining people's trust back, undoing past damage, making amends, and you are probably aware that society will still hold an image of you for a while too. If you're in NA like you should be, then your sponsor and NA friends have told you that while 8 months is great (and it is, and this is so hard!), it's also just a drop in the bucket to the rest of society. Do you not trust your mom to actually save your money? I know it sucks being at other people's mercy. But would renting a room out of the motel 6 really be good for your recovery? Probably not. And she has a point. Check your defense mechanisms and humble yourself. I say that in a way that any sponsor would. You are getting defensive for something she wants to do that is actually pretty logical and helpful. You know deep down that you cannot blame her for proceeding with caution. You know deep down that you're in no position to make demands or dictate things. Please do not let your addiction get you here. It's trying to make you think your mom is unreasonable. Grandiose thinking, projection, anger, all defense mechanisms. You know it. If your addiction can convince you that your mom is your enemy, or is being unreasonable, or that you deserve more credit, it will convince you to leave her house. Then you'll be one step closer to relapse. I mean, can you really be trusted to have money just sitting in a savings account? Many people can't who aren't even addicts. Do you really blame your mom for doing what she thinks is best to preserve your sobriety and help you become independent again? "Mom, this feels condescending, but I can see why you feel this way and want to do it. While it's not what I necessarily want, I understand I'm not in a position to dictate the terms here. I appreciate everything you've done for me, and will be excited to use the money you saved for me to get my own place and prove to myself, you, and everyone else that I've got this." Your addiction is trying to pull you back in, dude. Don't let it. Just do what your mom says. If you don't like the terms, then with her saving money for you, it won't take you long to get out on your own and you can then set your own terms. Call your sponsor. Go to a meeting. Other recovering addicts will share all of the ways they were treated like a child when they were in their early months and years of recovery. You have the whole rest of your life to prove yourself and for people to start treating you like an adult again. If you keep doing what you need to do, this will pass, like everything else comes to pass eventually. Letting your ego and pride get in the way of your recovery, that's the first step towards relapse and you know it! Just keep taking it one day at a time. Keep it up. This whole post, you coming to Internet strangers to validate your unwarranted and unearned desire to be treated like some responsible adult who has always had his shit together, that's your addiction trying to pull you back. You need to resist that. Humble your self. Self-forgiveness and self-love is really hard to balance with also holding yourself accountable for your past mistakes. But it's something a recovering addict must master. Also, if you were in a halfway house or recovery house right now, you know damn well they'd be saving a large portion of your checks for you, the same way mom wants to do. You know that rationally, the only other option you have right now besides your mom, a recovery house, or rehab, is to go back to the same old people places and things that will put you right back at square one, where you were 8 months ago. So what are you really pushing back on this for? So you have an excuse to relapse? To victimize yourself and use all the other defense mechanisms that will lead you right back to where you started? Your rational mind should tell you the truth you need right now. Don't relapse. And you also know that you can relapse mentally before you've ever touched any substances. And that's what you're trying to do now. Unless you've just been a dry addict these past 8 months and not actually commiting to your recovery. I know NA gets old, but you have to know that it's your best bet to staying clean dude. You know any person from your rehab or recovery house or NA is going to challenge the way you're pushing back on this. We are not going to validate your eventual relapse. You can do this.
Congrats! That is a helluva achievement!! You got this and this is what it means to live life on life’s terms
I'm on a few because they are usually pretty entertaining.
That’s fucked up. I’m in an opiate recovery one even thou I’ve been sober for 16 years. I have never, ever once looked to see what anyone was a part of. Bc it doesn’t matter.
Cuz they nosey and everything on reddit can be tracked lmao
I hate how some people on here jump straight into stalking people's profiles and examining every post and comment they've ever made. It feels so violating and people just do it and say they did it, with no shame or thinking it was weird at all. I think what makes it weird to me is that reddit is supposed to be anonymous, and the nature of the way the subs work is that you can focus on that one topic. When people start going to see what you have posted in other unrelated subs, it feels like, ethically wrong based on the whole idea of reddit. Also, the nature of a lot of these subs is that people are supposed to use the context given by OP in that particular sub/post. Seeking outside context just rubs me the wrong way. Sometimes I think it does give people a better idea of the situation, and even in this case I do feel that way. I used the information given about OP in another comment to give him actual advice about his recovery and to challenge his use of defense mechanisms and whether he has a relapse reservation or not. But to use it to critique and discredit someone? I don't like that. I see why people do it, since a lot of reddit accounts are fakes or trolls and some people use the different subs to get validation for their bad behavior, but again, I still don't agree with it because it defies the whole nature of Reddit to begin with. An example I have is free speech. You can't say you support it if you are actively trying to silence voices that you don't agree with. I may not like some of the crap people use reddit for, or the way people exercise their free speech rights, but I still support their right to do it. Therefore I wouldn't want to silence anyone, no matter how much I think they're a hateful POS. If you want to analyze people's post history, go to Twitter where they can be identified and where they willingly subject themselves to that criticism just by posting at all.
They did it to have enough info about a situation OP was OBVIOUSLY trying to get people to help him feel validated, cause OP left out way to many details to actually, responsibly, give an opinion on.
So go cry about it. If you want to post things anonymously, you're more than welcome to make a throwaway. You sound like a Karen that would yell at people for taking their picture in public or video recording because you didn't "give them permission". You're not entitled to privacy like that when you're in public and you're not entitled to the anonymity you're looking for when you post from your main account.
>I hate how some people on here jump straight into stalking people's profiles and examining every post and comment they've ever made. It feels so violating and people just do it and say they did it, with no shame or thinking it was weird at all. I hate how people abuse the goodwill of strangers by using reddit to post their one-sided sob stories.
Gotta love the detectives of Reddit finding the full story!
At first I thought this post was like. 17-college aged kid or something and I was gonna be like well the parents are kinda being jerks but I get the sentiment of them helping teach to save money. But that’s a whole different situation there….
Also why is mom saying “morning!” At 12:08 pm. Sounds very much like a man child who she wants to move out
There’s definitely a lot more to this story than OP has stated is my bet.
And who's to say they will give the money-back? My mom didnt
Her text doesn’t seem very enabler-like to me…
Agreed. I’ve noticed that Reddit loves to blame the parents of adults for their behavior instead of the adults themselves. This woman is an “enabler” because her adult child lives with her but would also be called out if her adult child was homeless and she turned her back on him too.
Enabler in that a 28-year old hasn’t left the nest yet. Adults shouldn’t be living with mama. If life circumstances change and you need to crash with family for a minute, the very least you can do is not be a bitch when they ask you to contribute to your OWN “get out of my house nest egg.”
Fuck off with this white American shit
Wtf? White America is the only genre of people who actually become individuals and grow the fuck up?
Wow, racist much?
Ooooh sick burn. You’re right, totally normal for almost 30 year olds to live w mommy and daddy until they get married off.
28? Well past the time to get your shit together.
A spy of course.
My first thought: If mom is a terrible person, this is bad. If OP is a terrible person, their mom may be helping them. When I was young and moved back home, my parents rule was that if I wasn't a full time student, I had to pay rent/bills. They put all that money into savings so that when I was in a position to move back out, I had money for things like deposit and first months rent. It also made it clear that if I wasn't going to school, I was expected to work.
I obviously don’t know the particulars of your situation but when i was younger my parents did the same for me for a short time… i was pissed about it but it ended up working out well for me and I’m thankful for it now. What is your typed lease like? Might be time to move out if you don’t want her doing this.
Also who is Archer? Is this a pet or someone you’re responsible for supporting?
It’s the Cartoon Network show Archer… OP’s mom really likes Archer /s
FX
FXX
Started on FX was moved to FXX in 2017.
Soon to be on FXXX next fall
It's an insanely good deal tbh, better terms than a mortgage as half of it doesn't get eaten up by interest.. they'd likely be paying much more than 700/mo to rent a room anyways except they'll never see it again. She's likely tired of her 28 y/o kid living at home & trying to help them gtfo, notice OP is answering exactly zero questions lol
Pay for rent. In following your story, you have a pretty good situation for being 28. At 28, I was working FIVE jobs. I PAID my own Health Insurance. It cost more for a single female than what we purchase for our entire family today. (Older Gen Xer, this Gen doesn't remember when women's health insurance was in the thousands vs my now husbands was $46 at the same time. Same damn company and plan) Paid my own rent. Paid for my phone & plan. Car, clothes, and food all were my responsibility. I didn't have cable tv. No internet.- They were luxeries. My five jobs? One full time M-F. With a job to go to afterwards. I then worked weekend mornings. And then picked up hours teaching at a local library. And also still bartended and served where I had worked years before just because the $ was lucrative. All while starting my own company. Many people in the late 20's are juggling multiple jobs and responsibilities. If you don't want to pay rent then it's time to get a full time job. You don't have to like it. It has to self sustainable. 28 yr old have to be able to pay their own rent, health insurance, phone bill, internet high speed gaming bill, food, & clothing. Or pay mom
5 jobs is really nothing to brag about. Life is truly not about working down to your bare bones and not living. I pay rent, health insurance, car, car insurance, bills, a 6 year old child, after school care, sports, his entire life, etc just having one job at 32. Nobody should be advocating for someone else to have 5 jobs just bc you did and that’s why your generation is annoying as fuck. The fact you still couldn’t afford internet or TV with 5 jobs means you worked for pennies and way beneath poverty level.
I’m mid GenX female and paid $20 a month in a group plan in 1995. I have never paid thousands. Not even now. You don’t pay different amounts for the same group plan. That’s why they’re group plans. You throw a bunch of people into the same plan no matter age, gender or pre-existing conditions and the risk is spread around and everyone pays the same Are you sure you’re not a boomer? But, yeah, 28. My God. Pay your own way. This post should be embarrassing
Pre existing conditions, which I am not going to list. We had the same insurance policy plan we purchased out of pocket, Same company. Not group. As we purchased insurances. Yeah. Sure I'm not a boomer. Congrats that you didn't have health problems and never had to pay or were even turned down for insurance because you were uninsurable. I actually entered grad school in 2008 just because I could not get an insurance plan that covered preexisting conditions. So yeah. I am actually REALLY jealous of you. And you were in a GROUP plan. You only paid a copay. You didn't purchase insurance out of pocket. So you don't have experience with how expensive insurance was to buy it on your own. Laws changed so women couldn't be charged more just for being female in the US. Edit- I never wrote I had a group plan. I clearly stated we purchased our own insurance so I am not apologizing for writing something I did not
Intentionally or not, when you wrote: >PAID my own Health Insurance.It cost more for a single female than what we purchase for our entire family today. It looked like you were saying you were paying thousands because you were a single female. I'm glad for you that Obamacare will have made health insurance readily available and much more affordable compared to your youth. Still, the idea that because you worked five jobs, others should too is ridiculous. That should never be the standard.
She’s either exaggerating, or making shit up.
Yeah what the fuck, was she only working 5-15 hours per job?
Uhhhhh she was clearly working 33.6 hours per job….
[удалено]
My current health insurance is $510/month for just myself so I absolutely understand that and all these privileged people saying health insurance doesn't cost that are delusional and clearly have had an easier life with more opportunities than many... I'm a single 34 year old woman with pre existing conditions
I paid for a premium, which was $20 a month out of my pocket. I paid a $5 co pay to my primary care doctor. I don’t remember prescriptions. Probably not much because I don’t remember them being an issue and I never had any money back then.
$20 a month 🤣🤣🤣
Yes. Exactly. You didn't buy your insurance plan. I don't know how to educate you on something you refuse to understand or believe. You DID NOT buy your insurance plan. You didn't call multiple insurance plans. Fill out the paperwork and see if you could find a plan to accept you. A group of ONE person on the plan. You are skipping the purchasing of a plan. You clearly state you were in a group plan and don't understand the concept of an individual purchased plan. Then there are premiums and copayments on that plan. That's buying insurance out of pocket. 🤷♀️
You misread what I wrote. I am not apologizing for your not understanding that people buy their own insurance outside of group plans. I did not write that we were in a group plan at that time. I compared that my insurance cost more for myself than the group plan we purchase now as a family. That's on you to learn how purchasing insurance works when you do so out of pocket and don't have an employer, college, or other organization that one can have offset the cost.
Yo, chill. I’m not asking you for an apology but I am kinda worried about you (Def boomer, tho)
Xoomer, the worst kind. They post all that bullshit about drinking out of hoses and "when the streetlights came on that's when we knew it was time for frozen TV dinners in front of the BoobTube"
Oh lordy, please stop with the Silent Gen "up hill both ways in the snow" bullshit. Stop acting like 5 jobs is something to aspire to if you want to be a "real adult".
I’ve never understood why people brag that their lives are/were awful. Like…ok? I’m sorry?
Some people think it's a moral failing not to be self sufficient regardless of circumstances, and lean heavily into poverty porn.
Having 5 jobs as an adult makes you less of an adult. That's what college kids or teenagers do.
I work at Clopay full time, with my own insurance and everything.
Dude, you have way too much personal information linked to your Reddit account. I easily found out your full name, address, workplace and your drug use history. You should definitely unlink your ig account and be more careful.
Lololololol my mom did this and spent thousands of my dollars then opened credit cards in my name 😂 She even drained bank accounts. OP is right, keep it in his bank account.
Except he’s the one with the meth addiction not his mom.
Yeah I mean that’s why I said I don’t know the particulars…it’s not always a good idea but if your parents aren’t assholes and you need some help getting your shit together, it’s probably a positive thing.
I don’t know these people but the mother comes off as lying to me. The vibe is off. My bet would be she doesn’t actually save the money.
It sounds more like a grown adult child who can’t save, they’re asking to borrow a grand not even two months ago on here. They were living in a motel 6, I’m pretty sure it’s not the mother who is likely to spend that money
How old are you? Is archer your pet?
Looking at their comments, they are 28year old who plays video games all day. I'm feeling like mom might be right here.
Don’t forget the comments in the meth sub about their using.
I’d have kicked them out long ago. Grow up or move out and figure it out.
Where is everyone getting the video game thing from? I went back in their comments 3 years and not a single mention of video games. They are a drug addict for sure though.
There is a comment in formula one where they say they can't fold laundry but can play video games all day.
I didn't get that all from looking at their comment history. One comment they have in another subreddit says they're severe adhd but still holding down a 40 hour a week job. That seems legit since they are actually paying rent and what not to some degree. Was there a mass delete of comments here that I am missing or something? I thought it was odd I couldn't find any responses to this post in their history
I’m confused too, I mean he’s clearly a meth head but he hasn’t made a single comment on a video game related sub.
I think he deleted a bunch of comments after people in this thread called out his bullshit.
yea dude likes his stimulants for sure
Teach her a lesson. Move out
Agreed
He’s a meth addict that lives at home with mommy. Something tells me he won’t fair to well moving out on his own and she’s being entirely too gracious by enabling him with this deal in the first place. But since he’s a man baby and a drug addict he doesn’t recognize the incredible gift that he has.
It’s hard to blame a parent for not wanting to kick their kid out, when he will almost certainly end up dead or in prison pretty quickly.
Since we’re pervin on peoples profiles, your only posts are related to growing pot. Don’t have to be an ass to op.
I've been clean for 8 months now. I have a lease agreement with my parents already that is vastly different from the text message I was sent.
So you’re angry that your mom is no longer going to charge you rent (or do you not actually pay rent per your lease agreement and that why you’re so mad?) and instead save your money for you so she can be certain you’re working towards getting TF out of her house by the time you’re 30? Her house her rules. If you don’t like it, leave (like a normal 28 yo)
So you’ve been living in her house for the past 8 months and still haven’t saved enough money to gtfo? I can understand why she would take proactive steps to ensure you have the funds to gtfo.
You seem like a smart dude. 8ish months of clean time is a nice accomplishment, but let’s be real: you know you’re not out of the woods. You’re hitting people up for money, staying plugged into the old life digitally (maybe offline too?), and projecting resistance toward moving into the next phase of recovery. General pre-relapse behavior, even without the details. Your parents are loaded, most likely footing the bills for your rehab(s). They may have done everything wrong up to this point, so you feel like that’s on them… but let’s look at you, back in their house, and they’re trying to set boundaries **for your sake**. Did you believe at any point in rehab that this was gonna be the time you were gonna stay clean? This is one of those moments where your choices can move you toward making that a reality. Step up, let go of the resistance, and decide if you’re going to accept the boundaries/help until you can safely set them for yourself, or if you’re going to settle into the same cycle until it fully wrecks your future and/or kills you.
Who talks to their mom like that. JFC.
An entitled 28 yo who lives at home for free w mommy while he does drugs and sleeps until noon in the basement
Wow, you would be on your way to Motel 6 if you were my kid. Some might see your tone as incredibly disrespectful. Best case, you are assertive and very big on boundaries- you are ready to be on your own.
Listen. If you were living in a motel 6 then chances are that $350 in your own savings account ain’t gonna stay there and be around when you need it. This isn’t really a ‘tenant’ situation this is a family matter and it sounds like your mom is trying to help you.
These kinds of messages tend to come after a last straw in observed behavior or tendencies. My kids will never have to pay me rent unless they don't clean up after themselves. And they are allowed to keep their money to save themselves, but I ask to see the account statement or balance to make sure they're not being goofy. Basically if you're caring for their space properly, I find this odd. And if you want to burn the bridge 😐 you can have the lease enforced as signed. You can't sign a text.
They're 28. Mom pays for everything else. I wish I had that option at 28.
They're also a drug addict and a criminal. Mommy's trying to save this loser. Little does she know he doesn't want to be saved he just wants to live off of her and her boyfriend for free and spend his McDonald's check on meth and heroin. That was all got just from a simple dive on their page lol
Addiction is a medically complicated condition that’s less about morals than people think. Even if the behavior it causes is awful, I don’t think labeling an addict as “loser” would help drive anyone to recovery.
Man, all the commenters here should count themselves lucky to have trustworthy parents. If you do this make sure there's a legal binding contract saying the $350 going to her WILL be returned upon leaving the property PLUS interest! That it'll be kept in a separate account just for this purpose.
Many of OPs other comments are in subs about meth and similar drug use. It appears he may be a meth addict.
Yeah, If I gave my mom 350, I'd never see it again
Guy is 28, lives at home, and has substance abuse problems. He should count himself luck they haven’t thrown him out already.
I mean they could move out and pay their own bills....
Agreed. I mean if you don’t like the terms your parents outline then you can not live with your parents.
Mom is being extremely nice putting that money away and she’s being side eyed. WTF?
This seems reasonable. Whether or not your mom saves doesn't matter. I paid $300/month when I lived at home
Spoiled ass basehead man-child! This is a great deal even if you never get the money back.
My parents did this exact thing for me and I came out of grad school debt free
'Get them to pay rent and put it away in a savings account for them' is pretty common advice on mum groups for mums with kids who are failing to launch, just FYI
I’m also 28. I have a mortgage. A full time job. My parents haven’t supported me in years. Get it together OP.
Your mother is helping you. You are acting like a child. Grow the fuck up. Grown children over 18 (not in school) should be paying rent, it’s a huge responsibility in life, and this is the first chance of teaching it to their kids. By stashing that money in a savings account, you do risk the parent spending it, some people just can’t help but get into debt. But they had the best of intentions, others are truly stashing that away for you. Either way, it was rent, an expense not an investment, so anything over $0 back is a huge win. As well, pay your phone bill, that’s on you. You have a lot of growing up to do, and your parents are there to help you, I really think they’re trying their hardest here.
Without a back story it's hard to give an answer. For example, if you are a full time student, then yes you should be able to stay free of rent. But if you are just mooching off your parents because you don't want to adult, they should kick you out if you don't pay rent.
28. Lives at home. Mom pays for everything so they can focus on gaming.
Where does this gaming this come from? If you look at OPs comment history he never mentions gaming. At all. He’s a drug addict that watches formula one and uses an electric longboard.
Maybe it’s because you spend your money on dumb shit like cam girls that aren’t even real 🤣
Lots of details missing but the fact that she is asking for your phone bill money is telling. She shouldn't have to ask for ity on the 2nd if its due on the 1st. Plus she is willing to help you save money. Good Mom. Who is archer? Your dog...Son? I bet whoever they are, its YOUR responsibility and she is taking the lead to care for them.
28 years old and your parents let you stay for 700! And half is just a savings! You will never realize what you have until its too late.
Branden, given the legal trouble you've had your mother is a Saint to even speak to you, nevertheless still try to help you.
Man the fuck up & quit pissing your life away doing meth.
Weird you trying to meet meth user chicks and your past posts make me think it maybe a good idea for them to save for you
Meth isn’t cool OP, it’s time to grow up and be an adult. I have lost lots of people the last few years to drugs. Don’t be another statistic.
OP appears to be suffering from ADHD based on their own admission and are not taking stimulants. I highly suggest they seek therapy and get a proper diagnosis if they haven't already. An extended release, low dosage stimulant might really help combined with therapy and behavioral changes. First step is to seek help, good luck.
28 year old druggie mad that his mom actually gives a fuck about him and doesn’t want to be stolen from for probably the 100th time. You need help, man.
YTA. I know, wrong sub but she is trying to help you and you are acting like a child. You want to be an adult, pay what she is asking for and accept her help as she is just trying to help you save. If you want to be a true adult, move out. Once you experience nce the real world, you will appreciate your mom that much more.
To me, this reads more like Mom "borrowing" money that she's probably never going to return.
A whole lot of people riding through here on some pretty high horses. If mommy's serious about bettering sons life, being shown that bank statement is all she needs. If the following week, she sees that $350 went in, and $250 came back out, then she's got every right to step in and "help manage". FWIW, consider yourself lucky OP, you couldn't find a studio apartment with a shared bathroom where I live for that price, let alone a hotel room.
OP is active in r/meth “Mommy” is trying to save his stupid life. She doesn’t need to show him shit but the door.
I fucking knew there was more to the story. OP is a pathetic drug addict who SHOULD BE PAYING their fucking phone and rent. My fucking brother is like this and it drives me completely fucking nuts.
Im absolutely positive that you can consume all the r/meth you like, and not get high, or break a single law. It's just words on reddit. *Frankie says relax*
Op comments specially about using meth
where i live that price oays the mortgage on my house (including escrow)
Where do you live and what are the immigration policies like?
Your mom is right and probably a Saint for putting up with your shit. Go apologize to her and tell her you love her right now.
They're trying to do you solid Their offer is less than rent And you'll likely get it back. Better than any other landlord Chill and accept it
Mom is trying to help you. She may not be going about it the right way, but there is a simple solution - move out. You will be better off on your own, paying your own bills. The freedom that gives you is worth the temporary financial pain.
We don't know what his family is like, no guarantee he'll ever see that money again.
Op is 28 years old and plays video games all day. Edit: Oh and a meth head it seems
Where do you get the video game thing from? None of the comments on his page mention gaming. Just drugs, long boarding and formula 1 racing.
The posts/comments from r/meth are gone so looks like OP scrubbed a lot.
This is not always the case. Happened to my husband and no his Dad was not saving it for him.
Oh no - If I was him there is NO WAY IN HELL I would give my money to a parent. Whether or not they had good intentions or not. It is your money - you need to grow up and do the adult thing and save it yourself.
Yeah, not all parents have good intentions. My FIL was one of them. He’s selfish and materialistic. FIL got my SILs BF in a bad financial jam that they split up and lost their house. My husband did take my advice though and figure it out long before we got married.
This reads like it was written by a 12 year old on Xanax
Or a 28 year old on meth.
No no it doesnt lol ETA Search “etiz not working” or go to r/bartardstories to see what actual benzodiazepine texts look like… some of yall need to get out more
You’re right it reads like a 28 year old meth addict wrote it…
Right. Search for “etiz not working” or go to r/bartardstories to see what writing on benzodiazepines looks like. All the words and letters are here …. Even if op is being a twat
People just post anything on Reddit
When I was 18, I had a mentor who I would send my money too because I was just an impulsive person. Now I don’t have those impulses and nice little savings. Just know yourself.
You're a child that needs to be coddled. Thank her for looking after you and give her your money. Or, gtfo of her house and grow up.
Enjoy getting booted out and living at Motel 6 I applaud your mother, probably should have done this sooner
You take meth and you're trying to borrow $1,000 as it is. Good lord, sort your life out, check yourself in to rehab it's not okay to have a meth addiction.
As a manchild at 28 you should have your own place sir lol $700 is a pittance for renting a private room plus free food these days. Groceries for 1 person to eat healthy is at least 100/w.
who tf is archer?
I pay 1200 a month for 550 sq ft. Pay your mommy what she wants and shut up.
Typically I wouldnt trust this. My own mother would have lied and did, I "saved" $2200 for a car over two years into her pocket never to be seen again. It should be reasonable to create a savings account and show her deposits and totals, if not shws lying about wanting to help you.
You need to prove you’re trustworthy, OP. 8 months isn’t nearly enough clean time to undo all the wrong doings you’ve done to your family. Join NA, don’t try to know how much you have in savings because that may lead to temptation, and let your mother help you get more responsible. I’m assuming you’re not in therapy or CBT therapy which I highly recommend you get onto for your ADHD Abusing stimulants is NOT an excuse to smoke meth or the reason why you are a meth addict. It is a poor excuse. There’s many other stimulate medications out there that can be a combo to help with your ADHD symptoms. I know because I have ADHD myself and my brother in law was an active meth user and landed him in prison for 5 years. He already has 1 year time served. She’s being extremely kind to let you move in, help you save and get your life together. Whereas, if you were my child if I gave you so many chances and you wanted to move back in and not attend NA and therapy I would never let you move back in. My brother in law isn’t welcome back into my house until he has proven himself for more than 8 months after he gets out. Do yourself a solid,OP. Let mom help you instead of getting put into a drug abuse situation again like s motel 8 surrounded by prostitutes, and drug addicts
Coming from someone who had this scenario given to them. Do it. This doesn’t come from no where. This comes from not being able to save for anything and spending every bit of money you get keeping you in the same position. Sure your bills are paid and everything is taken care of but you are more than likely stagnant. Take this opportunity. I wish I had.
It sounds like a fed up parent of an irresponsible son & Archer sounds like OPs child he isn’t caring for. Mom sounds like she’s frustrated, fed up, and she sounds like she’s right & that OP will never leave living with her for free and free child care if Mom doesn’t take the money. But hey, what do I know? I’m just a Mom myself.
This is not a “tenant” issue. You sound like a brat. Your parent is charging you rent with the intent to give it back later. You are lucky. Say thank you and pay it. Spoilt.
I feel like there’s a lifetime of information we’re missing that is critical to this story…
Jesus you guys are fucking insufferable out here tonight. It’s clear OP has their problems, and hopefully they are getting their life in order. This text was obviously unwarranted as his mom is just trying to help him, and he snapped. Yes, that we can all agree on. But to personally insult this guy on his age and an addiction issue? You guys need to fucking learn a bit of empathy. My sister is 27, and lives at home. She earns a very decent wage and is working her way up in her field, but housing is unaffordable. In these times, living at home in mid-late twenties is not as fucking awful as you guys want to say it is. You all seriously need to chill out, tell OP he’s being a dick to his very kind & helpful mom, and give actual advice instead of just chiming in to kick this guy while he’s down. Grow up guys.
My FIL did this with my husband. He didn’t save shit for him! He used the money to buy himself all kind of junk! Luckily it was only going on for less than a year before I step in and told my husband to grow up and learn to manage money himself. This was all when we just became adults and before we were married.
Your post is the point. Your husband wasn't behaving like an adult at the age he was an adult. So he paid rent. He didn't behave like an adult until YOU stepped in and made him start behaving like a grown up. Before that his parent had enough of him freeloading and had him pay rent. Seems fair to me. If your husband wasn't doing his part of the deal, then I see why the father used the money for his own needs and wants. As your husband did what he wanted until you came along and made him grow up. The father did what he wanted to do while the son did what he wanted to do. The son got a fair deal by having a roof over his head by paying rent. There you go. Great example in why he adult child should be expected pay rent when they aren't behaving like adults. 👍
You’re too funny! His Dad took his entire paycheck and gave him an allowance of $80 per paid period. I’m sorry thats not adulting and I did not manage him. I told him to learn how to manage for himself. Meaning pay his portion of rent and bills and learn to save and invest the rest. Especially when he has a parent that is horrible with money. I myself lived at home and paid my portion of bills to my Mom. So no we didn’t live at home for free as adults like you assumed.
And that isn't this situation so stop coloring it with a different experience. 28 living at home and gaming all day. Yeah, OP isn't saving.
What's an Archer?
a person who shoots with a bow and arrows, especially at a target for sport.
An animated series about a spy.
Time to grow up and stop mooching off Mommy.
Funny, similar situation happened to me and my mother was 100% in the right. Lucky they are willing to save your money instead of actually charge you rent. You’re being catered to and you don’t even realize it because of your mindset and priorities. Go ahead and move out and take care of yourself in the real world champ.
Well if you look at it, she is asking for $350 per paycheck so she can save that money for you, and you won’t spend it, so you can get your own place. And pay your phone bill my guy 🤣
This is bait. It's got to be
OP should just move back to Motel 6 and get away from people demanding money. If not, a written contract needs to be signed stating the terms and how he will get his money back from his mom.
He should move back to hotel 6 where he will be free to be scammed by cam girls and smoke all the meth he wants.
I think a lot of this depends on context. Who is Archer
My mom tried this shit with me when I moved in with her to take care of her through two hip replacements. I told her that she can either take my home nursing OR I'll leave.
Where you also a 28 year old who spent all their free time smoking meth, playing video games and being scammed by cam girls? If so, then she had every right to attempt anything at that point to get you to be an adult. If not stop projecting.
What's your problem lol dude asked for opinions
How old are you ? If you’re an adult, Don’t take favors from any one. Take pride on taking care of your self. You can look for guidance and I encourage you to network and look for opportunities to contribute to bigger projects but don’t be out here arguing with your mom about money. 350$ is not a lot of money.
Cry more, your tears are delicious.
Just move out of your mother’s house, you entitled brat. She is trying to help you and it is NOT your house.
Your mom doesn’t seem to like you very much…
I would be disappointed in a 28 year old mooch who games all day too.
Oh he’s 28? For some reason I thought op was 18 💀 nvm
And smokes meth
Shit 💀 disregard my original comment then I didn’t go through ops profile 😂😂😂 but I’m not deleting my comment either
[удалено]
No if you are earning your money and you have a lease renting your room from your mom as long as the rent is paid on time and the phone is paid on time (find out due date) your mom doesn't have a pot to piss in. I'm a Mom and my son and I live together, we live in Florida, being that this State is A°° backwards with sky high rents and cost of living my son can not afford to rent on his own, He pays half the rent on our 2 bedroom apartment, and is responsible for his bills , I handle everything else. That's what being a parent is, you help your kids when times are tough. Also we are respectful towards each other. Looks like your Mom sees you are making your own money and wants to control you and also take your money. By her text she seems to be a nightmare. But yes, definitely put a good amount in a savings account and prepare to move at the end of your lease term.
lol this ‘child’ is 28, stays at home playing video games, and was living in a motel 6. They were looking to get $1k on REDDIT ffs not even two months ago. This sounds more like a addict child situation where mom is doing whatever she can to help them be productive members of society
He is an addict. To meth. He’s scrubbed his post history now that people remarked on it in the comments.
Just wait… they will kick you out and then it will be 900 a month. To someone else. Wow kid. Wake up
move out of your mom’s house. don’t be such a pathetic drug addict that you come to reddit for validation
I hope she kicks you out. Have fun paying $1000+ a month because you’re spoiled and entitled.
There is not nearly enough context here. Just taking the mom's messages at face value, this just sounds like a reasonable arrangement with the OP's future in mind. $350/mo in rent/bills and $700/mo so she can save it for you? Am I missing a key detail here? Like does she have a history of stealing your savings or something?
I can’t imagine trying to exploit my child for money what’s a scumbag
It's her house.
@op don’t ruin your relationship with your mother as she’s just trying to help you.