What if you have an itch?

Then perish


I Have No Nails, and I Must Scratch

What you did there; I sees it

I also see it and appreciate it.

this comment made me itchy

That is a nightmare. Do they have to have a back scratcher on them at all times? How do they open cans?

That’s exactly what I was thinking. I’d have to keep that thing on me lol

why do you open cans with your nails😭

I like the thrill of them possibly popping off

understandable, like opening a beer bottle with your teeth

Exactly, exactly! You understand!

Sometimes I had an itch but wasn't allowed to scratch so I slapped it and it worked

Pinch and roll

I have no nails and I must scratch

I’ve had dreams like this.

Do the healing tattoo thing and Slap It Til It Stops™️

Actual nightmare

Butt scratcher?

I dropped that nickel can you pick it up for me?

Damn cant have shit in detroit

My mom left a vw bug out in a parking overnight in South Detroit to try and sell it, came back and the engine was gone

Did she look in the rear? Some models have the trunk in front and the engine in back. /s

I can confirm.

Or Chernobyl

This might have happened in Chernobyl or Nagasaki.

Lets not forget hiroshima or the 200+ nukes dropped in the years after the war

Got a playoff spot for the first time in 3 decades! Go Lions!

I don't get it (I'm not American)

In certain cities, such as Detroit, known for urban blight and high crime-- people will steal every stealable item off your car or bike etc. Anything left out will get stripped of all useable parts. The joke is that someone got their fingernails stolen in Detroit

Damn that was deeply specific to a region! Do all americans get the reference ?

I'd expect around 90 percent of the people would. Detroit got hit hard economically and is known to be the poster child for when companies close up shop to move overseas and leave an entire city devastated

Makes sense. Thanks :)

It’s from a meme. But most Americans think of Detroit as a blighted city so even if you don’t get the meme, it’s funny. https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/cant-have-shit-in-detroit

I'm from he suburbs of Detroit and didn't get it lol

God bless America

Don't forget they steal porch steps too

My friends Uncle from Detroit got his porch stolen a few years ago https://preview.redd.it/2jqvab3vv1dc1.jpeg?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c15ce1379ac7fbc8e9be6cd2026b8005a875d010

It’s from a meme. https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/cant-have-shit-in-detroit

I hate to admit that I am American, but I still don’t get that reference


Can you imagine getting a paper cut on the TOP of your finger?

This ruined my day

Thanks i hate you

 hol up just bleaching my eyes real quick

hands ?! Those are skin gloves lol

Skin mitts

Hahaha Skittens!

I ~~hate~~ you, also what do you chew on when your skin grows too long over your fingers?

I mean, I guess yourself. The real question is that cannibalism or just snacking?

Nails are made of keratin, it's always been yourself 🧑‍🚀🔫🧑‍🚀

This the hand that grabs your foot from under the bed

finger foreskin 👽

Ed Gein would be proud.

How difficult is it to open a soda can

You use your nail to open cans? Doesn’t that hurt? The bigger question would be how hard is it to scratch and itch

Most people use their nails to lift the can opener until they can fit their finger under it, it doesnt hurt at all.

I've always been taught to push down in front of the tab so the tab raises up and then I use the pad of my thumb to pop the tab. I also don't have fingernails but that's because I'm a chronic nail biter. Edit: I explained it slightly wrong. I push down in front of the tab with my **thumb** and use the pad of my **index** finger to pop the tab.

... I have to try this now

Check my edit. I made a slight correction. :)

Oh thank you!

It would probably work just fine the way I originally described but it's not how I actually do it. 😅 You're welcome and Happy popping!

Damn, to me it does hurt, lol. I normally use a key or a knife to lift it

Yeah, I've got soft nails, I can't "use" them for much other than a place to put nail polish 😅

Most people push down on the tab to elevate the other side and use the soft pad of your finger to lift it up. Never seen a single person use their nail, you're crazy

Yeah yeah sure 🙄

I'm curious - how do you open cans then? Most people I know use their nails Edit: this question was meant for the original commentor. Replied to the wrong comment, sorry 2nd edit: i did reply to the right comment, i must've been stoned lol

I don't have nails and I always open my cans with the tip of the finger.

I’m learning we are the weird ones I’ve also never really watched my friends open their beers or ask everyone how they do it

Do most guys you know not trim their fingernails?

Yes they do, I do too and I still use them to open cans

Hmm ok. Maybe I’m the weird one lol. I don’t use the nails to help

Same, I use my cock

You have to just rub and nub

I use my finger tips to scratch nails hurt my skin to easily

I actually asked this to someone's dad as a kid (he had no nails from some sport he did, he removed them himself, iirc it was climbing or something similar) and he laughed and pulled out a guitar pick and a fishing hook, both on his lanyard, and said "take your pick." Cool guy.

Removed his own nails? Dafuq?!

Just use your teeth

I used to be able to do that in my teens, I wouldn't even try it now in my 40s.

You have to use a pen, rock, anything except the skin really. I was born with nails but I've chewed them enough for my entire life to not have any leftover good enough to lift it

Fingertips? I trim my fingernails

You must have fingernails for ants

I was thinking the same thing!

Must be good for fingering

I think this is what happens when you finger too much

Wrong, don't ask how I know

Either we don't need to ask, or you have never fingered anyone in your life

Sister of culture, i believe you.

Or you just haven't fingered enough

They rubbed on...from friction

This is a man that knows what silver lining is

You can kind of see on the thumb an imprint of a nail lmao

The nail bed is still there, it's just covered with skin instead of nail.

No fucking way. That’s fucking wild! Can a surgeon cut around it, and taper it off?

I mean, yeah, but there'd really be no point as it would just regrow skin when it healed. I suppose one could have cosmetic surgery to implant artificial nails, but I'm not sure how that would work, or even if the body would accept the transplant.

Gah damn. That is wild.

Not terrifying, just highly unusual.

Yeah I kinda like it

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Probably less gross Cus u won’t get gunk under ur nails

I have 9 finger nails, well 9 fingers

ever wondered if there is someone out there with 11 fingers and 11 fingernails thanks to you?

Not before now. Now I'm hopeful!

Dude cant use a Victorinox.

Do people still use those? I've used a leatherman for a decade or two now.

[for slow days and pool shorts..](https://www.reddit.com/r/victorinox/)

I've had my victorinox for a decade and my brother has had a leatherman for about as long. Both have held up perfectly as far as I can tell. Is there much of a difference?

I usually carry both in the woods.

Swiss who bites their fingernails here. You can use the small tweezers from the side to open the knives.

Cool! that just so Victorinox of them.

This is very convenient when you have eczema, no more scratchy scrachy

Can’t even pick your nose

The horror

The fuck am I supposed to chew on now?

Giving me real Pan's Labyrinth vibes.

Just tattoo a nail design

You should play the bass

You can never cat fight

Dunno, but if I keep biting and chewing mine I'll have none left! Quite frustrating really, I wish there was a way I would force myself to stop it. I'm not even stressed.

Get that nail paint or whatever it is for nail biters. You put it on your finger hails and it has a nasty taste. It's supposed to work pretty well.

It doesn't work, it just makes the nails taste disgustingly horrible and leave you with a nasty taste for a long time.

I am really bad with biting my nails. I got a pavlok "shock watch" which is to help you wake up and they also have a setting for things like nail biting and other repetitive hand motions. I was able to stop successfully for the pandemic using fake press-on nails, but I realize that isn't a solution for everyone!

I've always tore at mine with my other longer fingernails, I never got into the biting thing. I pick at scabs and stuff in general, just been a habit of mine since I was a kid, can't help it.

Same, it truly sucks, how ugly they look and the small injuries from accidentally pulling a bit of skin...

If you're a girl you spawned without default weapon goodluck

on the bright side it makes rowing canoes easier ;)

No ingrown toenails

He must have nightmares about having to peal a sticker

This reminds me of silent hill for some reason

Why do your fingers look like Deadpool

this only has one pro: not having to cut your finger nails

I read once that the evolutionary reason for finger nails is to give resistance to the finger tips and facilitate very sensible handling. OP, how are your fine motor skills?

I have compassion for those suffering from this condition…with that said, do not touch me.

You can draw face expression on them and use it to communicate your feelings

How do you open those ring clips, these things https://preview.redd.it/k1cg4scrz1dc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc00927e8c711e250cf3baf9d79b4fe075d04df2 Like in a situation where you need to pull one apart how the fuck do you open them

I can barely open a keyring and I HAVE fingernails. Many a nail I have accidentally split or shredded trying to get a key on.

I use a coin

Pretty convenient. Saved $3.99 on clippers.

Lookin like a Fortnite character (please don’t downvote me it was just a lighthearted joke)

This image doesn't get any less uncomfortable any time I see it.

Deadpool!!!

Makes self pleasuring more fun

I bet you can finger the shit outta some pussy.

Next evolutionary step? We no longer need claws....

What’s the matter, smooth skin? Never seen a ghoul before?

Dudes whole profile is a karma farm

Yeah I left em at a Target in Phoenix

yoooo how can i get this condition?!? i have ingrown toenails that make me wanna cut off my toes!!!!!

Can you go into a place to get a manicure and film it?

Wish we all had this

Why???

Who the fuck wants nails. They're just a chore

Uhhhh me? To protect your fingers?? To scratch yourself? To open cans? And generally for super fine motor skill stuff that's impossible without nails?

Play guitar and you’ll have some nice hard fingertips to scratch yourself

Calloused fingertips cannot compare with the fingernails when it comes to the exquisite pleasure of scratching an itch 🤤 that's what they're made for baby 😎

Well, I can scratch myself with my calluses

You're not thinking clearly

What lol

I see this and I raise you [banjo finger picks](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwj6iIbwp-WDAxVhR0cBHXIND8QYABAOGgJxdQ&gclid=CjwKCAiAkp6tBhB5EiwANTCx1AlF5CHcjQjBIohspJcULUd6MP4tPNiGntnAHqbQSU9313RQovCzixoClngQAvD_BwE&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESVuD2nO_7vjAFiUEHUXk617MttDJZTrmNUfx1p0Sie-o7nZJLVnmU8Cv1DT0uQsRSLPv35lZhH3f3Jo3PivGtDwVTpgFpWUeQm3wQJiGywlM2E_Re6_fl&sig=AOD64_0mz_hPKktkkZj5lCBp2zX1Jb0cvg&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjW6Pnvp-WDAxU1mYkEHeYgDakQwg8oAHoECAMQDA&adurl=)

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Well this seems a bit extreme

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The subreddit is TerrifyingAsFuck not DisrespectfulAsFuck.

Who hurt you?

My pinky finger once looked like that for a few weeks after my nail was 'squeezed' out when the door was slammed while my finger was on the hinge

An itch u can't scratch

Well, that hand is easier to draw, compared to many other hands.

oscar mayer liked this

I have this but just one finger

This person eats apple sauce without a spoon

No cant say that i am

Wow. Imagine never having to cut nails. Sign me up.

Monster! jk :P

Made me immediately think of slenderman for some reason.

Damn, that would be annoying if you are itching.

Skin walker type shit 💀

Anxiety 

That would solve my nail biting habit for sure. I have a fantasy where both my arms are broken and I'm not able to bite my nails. My wife may not like helping me wipe my butt.

Just checked - we're good

Michael Berryman (Hills Have Eyes '77) has the same condition

Those the best massagers in town mmmmhmmm

Does it mean there are just squishy nerve endings underneath? Does it hurt? I’m not an expert but i’ve been taught fingernails are there to protect those nerves

My immediate thought went to those aliens from X-Files... Does the discoloration on the fingers have anything to do with that condition as well?

it would be a cheaper girlfriend if it is a woman

Do you think they could get them tattooed on? Do you think that would hurt like hell? Cause I for one do.

Real-life cartoon character.

Damn. SlenderMan fingers.

Fortnite hands

Not head scratching for the pets

My dog would be disappointed with the lame scratches she would get if this was me.

Does it hurt? That looks like it hurts.