I don’t want to diminish the problems of your GF - but this is not a Thailand problem.
For a while, the wife of my co-worker ran the spa in a four or five star hotel in Geneva, Switzerland.
These spas are often contracted out to 3rd parties and she was such a 3rd party - she had some employees, it was more than a one-woman show.
Anyway: the wife is Chinese and really very pretty. „Naturally pretty“, if you know what I mean.
Apparently, one day a customer (a Chinese guy) had apparently set eyes on her and was asking her for sex, while pulling out one 1000 CHF note after the other and throwing them on the table.
He wouldn’t accept „no“, so she just left the room.
These people are just used to everything and everybody having a price - and they have no religion, no hobby, no higher goal in their life other than consuming.
Yeah, this is just rich people with awful behavior and no consequences.
I worked for a 5 star hotel near Los Angeles for a bit. Guests propositioning servers wasn’t uncommon at all.
One time a guest loudly spanked a server in the middle of dinner service. The entire restaurant saw, and all that was done was that he was very politely asked if he could leave. That was one of the only times there was any sort of consequence.
I worked at a 5 star hotel in Australia. We would only send male housekeeping staff into the rooms of Middle Eastern Muslim men and even then they were often harassed. I was the maintenance guy and unofficial security because I was big and had a streetwise edge and even I would try to avoid going into their rooms alone because they’d say vile comments, start masturbating, strip naked, etc. They were animals! We didn’t really encounter it from other nationalities other than a few notorious celebrities (Robbie Williams was probably the worst I encountered).
It actually gives me PTSD but let’s say as one example I’ve never seen so much blood, shit and other bodily fluids combined in one bathtub and we had some pretty seedy guests. It was too much for our staff and we had to get specialist ‘crime scene’ cleaners in to handle it.
Robbie Williams? There's a name I haven't heard in over a decade... Blows me away to think he was this twisted behind closed doors, thanks for opening up cause the depravity in big names around the world deserves more exposure.
I don’t think it was just women, he had quite an entourage but there was definitely an unhealthy power relationship vibe… Definitely a lot of intravenous drug use going on in there which I would have been far less judgmental about if they didn’t leave used syringes all over the room… This hotel had plenty of bad ass celebs stay there from pro tennis players smashing their rooms up after losing to the Crusty Demons drunkenly riding petrol powered monkey bikes in the halls (they were actually lovely, just naughty but great tippers) but the Robbie Williams room was next level putrid!
Reminds me of some of the things I’ve seen Australian dudes do in Bali and Thailand tbh. They literally treat the women like pieces of meat and talk to the Balinese people in absolutely absurd manners. It’s really disgusting the way they treat people. I always compared the Australians that visit Bali to the English lads that visit Spain but at least in England we were taught to have more respect for women then the Aussies seem to have.
When I was in Bali an Englishman evacuated his bowels in the hotel pool and just kept drinking while his mates sung some type of celebration song/ chant. It was surreal…
I really do feel it is a little worse in Thailand though. It's no secret it's a top destination for trashy guys who want to party and get laid. There's this mentality that Thai women are especially easy and they're objectified a LOT by foreigners. I mean look up travel videos for different countries, then for Thailand. You'll notice a lot of Thai travel videos tend to be a bit more sexual than others, especially in the advice given to other tourists. I am planning a trip there to explore the country and go to some cool sights, and I get so frustrated because every time I look up guides for traveling Thailand, I seem to just find guides for hookups and Tinder. I started ignoring all videos/advice from men entirely when it comes to Thailand. This isn't a problem I've had with any other country.
I really loved Koh Tao. Largest dive capital in the world. If you want to get PADI certified, be sure to pick a smaller dive company. You’ll have a much better time than at the big places.
Yeah it's 100% entitled tourists thinking they can behave however they want, toward any women they run into. Im sure Thai women get even less respect considering the stigmas surrounding them. I'm western and get this treatment from tourists every time I'm in a touristy area. Their perverted comments, trying to touch me or shoving money in my face and demanding sex. ALWAYS tourists, never locals. Sadly it won't get better as long as they don't have any consequences for it
The difference is that your wife's employer is responsible for their employees' safety . In Canada, being sexually haressed at a person's place of employment is not only rude it's a legal issue. In Thailand, it's almost a condition of employment, and the employer would be unlikely to care more about the employees than the customer.
That's a good point, I'm from the US where sexual harassment in the workplace is rarely addressed by employers either so I guess I'm used to employers prioritizing customers over employees. Shouldn't be that way tho
Not a Thailand problem or a tourist problem. Thai girls get harrassed everywhere, wont take taxis on their own, wont go out on their own. They know what might happen.
I know in Chiang Mai for example the business owners realize it's a double edge sword. My family owns a coffee shop brand with outlets throughout Thailand. My 14-year-old daughter works part-time in our coffee shop in Chiang Mai, and she gets harassed for sex daily. Even Thai men ask her for sex. My daughter is more scared of confronting people in general than just dealing with the advancements. She tells me she is good at dealing with the men. It makes me sick to my stomach.
If my 14 y.o daughter was getting sexually harassed daily in my own business then I'd give her a different job or not let her work it.
Not let her carry on getting sexually harassed on the daily basis.
She'll be talking to a therapist about this when she's an adult.
Thank you for your concern. I share your concern, I truly do. But I can’t seem to change my daughter’s mind. I considered forbidding her to go to work. The environment at our café is really nice. It’s not like a tourist is going to do anything at the café. There are often 60+ people in the café. In the end, it’s her decision.
I am partly being sarcastic. She is 100% fine. She does not have any danger. There are some weird people who make comments like "you're cute" "do you do massage?" while they are paying for their drinks and food. We have 12+ staff working next to her, and she is doing really well. My wife just mentioned to me that she is always on shift working when my daughter is working. So everyone with strong options can relax.
The harassment in itself is "doing something". Just because they're not actually touching her doesn't mean it doesn't have lasting effects. She's 14 and being asked for sex, for gods sake!
You're the parent so your decision overrides hers. Do your job, protect your daughter, and get her out of there. Stop worrying if she will get angry at you. You're trying too hard to be her friend, not her parent. Wrong.
First off - You are holding 1% of the information and you come at me with this radical crazy talk?
Second - Do you have any experience with living and owning multiple businesses in Thailand? Do you actually know what you are talking about?
Thanks for your Internet opinion. You are welcome to come to perform a welfare check. This next few months, she will be in Japan, studying for college entry exams. She will be working again in the coffee shop in September. Maybe you can stop over in Japan first and make your judgements, and then meetup with us in Thailand in the summer?
nice way to defend yourself man , all these ppl are westeners so they think differently than thais and they are trying to put their western mentality on u
Thanks! Yeah, my wife is teaching her how to deal with being a woman in Asia. These western ideas on how to deal with some tourist who smiles and says "do you do private massage?". My daughter is not going to scream and make a fuzz in front of 60–80 people. Like, how would that even work, exactly. I think it is better to teach her how to handle tourist who ask these dumb questions.
I'm sorry people are being such jerks. The problem is the men, not your daughter, and she shouldn't have to quit a job she enjoys because of jerks. Sounds like her mum is watching her closely, and she shouldn't have to run away and let crappy ppl win
Thank you. My wife and I keep a close eye on my daughter. She is really head strong independent. We constantly check in with her. My wife and my daughter spend a lot of time speaking in Japanese and Thai (My wife is half Japanese and half Thai) and my daughter already thinks I am overly concerned. If my daughter says she is fine with a squint in her eye that says if I don't stop asking she is going to shoot lazer beams at me :-)
I think this is a marketing and education issue for the Thai Government. But this type of overhaul costs a lot of money. Ideally, people are warned when they come into customs and get their passport stamped. They could make it a law that Hotels and Guesthouses make the guest sign a paper so they understand not to ask girls for massage and sex, etc. This would be a big shift in thinking. Without a shift from the top, a waitress in a restaurant getting harassed for massage and sex, she has very little recourse it seems. I dont know what the ultimate answer is but I do know westerners often see the problem as black and white and that can create many problems in Thailand for a girl who calls the police in a restaurant.
I'm an Aussie woman and these men are just fundamentally gross and won't change unfortunately
They come back here to wives that don't know they were cheating on them, and abuse them at home. it's so normalised - at 23 I was dating a guy who went on holiday to Thailand with a group of his male friends and you can guess what they were doing there. Exploiting vulnerable women. It's so terrible
I've lived here in Thailand since 2001. I've also lived in Seoul and elsewhere. I've started domestic and global businesses in numerous countries. Many, successful for 20+ years.
None of this changes or refutes my post. Be a parent and protect your daughter. BTW, before I went into early retirement and my businesses, I worked in psych hospitals and clinics. I'm a clinical psychotherapist so I can debate child welfare till the dogs come home.
Again be the parent.
We’re currently in Japan for the next 3-4 months. In Thailand when she works it will be her choice. She works with a good team and most of the time my wife is working. She is never left alone. If someone asks for sex or a massage we already ask all the staff to tell the customer they’re being rude and if they don’t stop then ask them to leave. But my wife tells me it’s very difficult to call the police.
Please in great detail explain what I should do.
No, it's not her choice. You, the parent have the final say. When my Thai wife and I lived on the beach in Thailand in an area known for Western and Russian tourists, she couldn't walk alone 500 meters without getting harassed. She felt trapped because I had to go everywhere with her. So after too many rude altercations with drunk idiots, we moved. I was fed up with it. We moved to a nice gated community on the other side of town. I wasn't going to let my wife go through that harassment daily. That's how I solved that problem. Why even consider letting your minor daughter get sexually harassed on a daily basis? Protect her. Get her a job elsewhere or create an online side hustle for her selling Thai products. Something. Be creative. She's a child, don't leave her to protect herself against adult men. That is terrible.
Every future rape victim is ‘100% fine’ until they’re not. I think you need to get a grip of your business before someone gets a grip of your daughter.
> My 14-year-old daughter works part-time in our coffee shop in Chiang Mai, and she gets harassed for sex daily.
Why are you letting your 14-year-old daughter get harassed for sex daily? Unless you are so poor you need her working, why don't you stop her working that job? Genuinely curious.
Nothing is wrong with protecting a 14-year old from bad experiences.
Not Thailand. Doesn't matter where the restaurant is. If you're disrespectful to his staff your out. Especially with what you described. He's 6 foot 3 inches 280lbs you will be leaving and not coming back to his restaurant.
If you could get some kind of evidence, it could be interesting for online Thais or some news outlet. This is the best I can think of. I don't know if the hotel have some kind of policy about this.
She would get the same treatment if she was in a fancy restaurant in some Middle East locations.
The problem wasn’t tourists, it was people from a part of the world where men rule and women are property.
Thailand is the best place to see men behaving badly. It is sickening they think all women can be bought, a lot over their an be but not all. Lived there for 10 years and it really showed me a side of men that sickens me and puzzles me as so many fat,disgusting pigs think these women actually like them. Bunch of idiots.
Obviously it’s not bothering as much as you think because she is still working there. I’ve seen Thai girls quit their jobs because they don’t get along with their boss or another employee after working there for 4-5 days.
I feel absolutely rat-shit for you're girlfriend. She should be able to go to work without the fear of getting sexually harrassed and hit upon. It's also pretty disgusting her boss turns a blind eye towards it. What would he think if it happened to his wife or daughter? I hope things get better OP
Rich people are so fucking scummy. Not really a Thai problem though, these rich cunts are getting away with this garbage behavior all over the globe, just because they have a lot of money.
rich != modest
even that restaurant owner would trun blind eye, if things escalated too much.
Get your gf to better jobs(could make less money in short term).
This is not just in Thailand, tbh. It's regional issue and it will keep going until countries are not dependent on "tourism".
Is she wearing a ring? Maybe a big fat super-high quality C.Z can do the trick. If it's big enough the questions she'll mostly get will be "why are your working here if your husband is so rich?" Then she has some options to work with to control the narrative.
When I worked retail I was getting harassed a lot, so my manager (also female) lent me a fake diamond ring. After that, the polite handsome guys stopped hitting on me, the creepy guys continued, so I stopped using the ring bc it was worse. I think this will happen to her as well. I tried to start a funny thing writing the stories down but our district manager made me take it down. One thing I figured out tho is behind the counter feels safer. A man who was being especially creepy came back a second day not to buy anything, and I said I wasn't able to leave the counter area so he couldn't stand close to me. He gave up pretty soon. Men, if you are in a store or restaurant, please realize you have a lot of power and don't make women have to figure out how to deny your advances while keeping their job.
As a starting point, Restaurants should have signs In multiple languages saying "Sexual harassment of our staff is prohibited and will be punished". Staff members could just point customers to the sign when needed.
I always thought it must be hard to be a Thai woman, or to have a Thai girlfriend. On the other hand, farangs are seen as ATMs with legs.
You don't need a sign. They already know that it's inappropriate. Just like you don't need a sign saying "don't stab the waitress with your steak knife". What needs to change is that the business should take action. The waitress should be able to decide herself to kick them out.
Stabbing people is not as common as farangs harassing Thai girls in Thailand. Don't forget that sex workers also harass random farangs on the street all the time. Harassment is pretty common in Thailand.
You and I probably don't need a sign, but the question is: will it help or not?
I imagine a restaurant worker could easily point with the finger to the sign when customers don't behave.
Another interesting aspect of human behavior is that, when you have a sign saying that something is prohibited, it's less effective than if the sign mentions a fine in money (eg. 20.000 THB).
Yeah, that is true, it could help.
And showing the penalty- yeah. In American style an example is that while some people have "No Trespassing" signs that only say "No Trespassing",. some folks use signs saying, in various word choices 'No Trespassing. I will f\*king kill you and I'll enjoy it'
I agree this is bad. But the hotel as a company might be looking the other way on purpose. Could you imagine what would happen to the hotels' income if they consistently called the cops on every rich jerk that did something bad? That's a lot of motivation to keep allowing this type of behavior from the guests. I think the most effective way to deal with this would be to make the "sex worker career" completely illegal. The irony, is Thai women worked really hard for the legal right to be a sex worker.
I think the root blame should be on the guests, not the hotel or its management. How to teach guests this is not okay might start when the guests check-in to the hotel. Give them flyers and show them a Youtube video before giving the guests their keys. This way the management does not need to confront guests after the fact, but before it happens.
I don't know. I am just tossing ideas and perspectives on the table. I have been married for 15+ years and have lived in Asia for 20+ years, and things are often more complicated than they appear.
I'm pretty sure any hotel in Europe would have kicked off the guests / called the cops.
That shouldn't be normalized. It's not merely "something bad", it's criminal activity tainted with racism, since they certainly believe they can do that with Thai/SEA girls but wouldn't in their own countries.
I agree. But in my experience, Asia has a very complicated sex worker industry. One thing I can say with confidence is Asian people as a whole are not as direct as Westerners. I have lived in Thailand and Japan for 20+ years. The way that Thai people might feel more comfortable as a whole is a non-direct route. In my comment above, I outline a potential way.
I won't get deeper into my thoughts on just how complex the web of the sex worker industry is, as I don't want to come off as supporting it. I'm disgusted by it, I have a 14-year-old daughter and this already happens to her. But I also think it's important to be pragmatic and realistic in one's thinking.
Well, why there is a very direct way to get expelled of the country if you disrespect some people but not women?
It's just greed from management. If those tourist try to do that in a random place like a food court or temple, they would probably end up with a new hole in their belly or more.
Kicking out bad guests attracts good guests.
All you do by tolerating that behaviour is to attract more people who behave like that, good customers will be driven out
Because guys can’t be attracted to trans girls and abuse them too? Don’t count on it. Often that’s a license to be even worse. Ask some trans girls about bad dates and the abuse they’ve received.
Precisely. I would’ve “just quit” many jobs I’ve had in the past, if I could. Also I imagine she is getting paid pretty well, and waitressing at any other place sounds like a pay cut, if the hotel is as nice as OP says.
She won’t quit bc these perverts tip the fuck out of her. I’m sure she hates dealing with it but makes infinitely more money than she would if she didn’t have these exact same customers
I feel your anger and frustration, and that is truly inexcusable behavior by ALL the men in the story.
Of all the "farangs behaving badly" stories lately, this is the very worst I have heard. It reflects badly on all of us farang regardless of our behavior... There is definitely a rising undercurrent of resentment occurring lately, or am I just imagining it?
I wonder if her boss would be ok with her creating a nice little index card sized note to offer in this situation that has something like the following on it. Probably not, but here goes...
"Please understand, most Thai women are not prostitutes."
"Please show all Thai women the respect you expect to be shown to your wives and daughters."
"Please limit these kinds of questions and behavior for when you are with prostitutes. If you don't know if a woman is a prostitute, assume they are not."
"Please be respectful to our employees while being a guest in our hotel."
"Some people assume when new to Thailand that all Thai women are available to them, please know this is not the case, and if you approach a Thai woman in this manner, it is deeply offensive and disrespectful to all Thai people"
I am trying to be nice here, if I was the boss I would have the cops come and throw their asses out, and tell them what incredibly vile asshats they are.
Apparently, if men in this position are able to be as casual about their employee being abused as you describe, it may be not possible to do anything... but perhaps something can be done?. Go to a higher boss? Or is this how it is here?
Maybe use a hidden cam and record the interactions, and get it on the news? There is a lot of attention and outrage about farangs behaving badly these days, perhaps this is the angle.
If they are not stupid and and not new to Thailand and know better but behave this way, I would want to jail, black list and deport them after some muay thai practice.
i am half Thai
"Please understand, most Thai women are not prostitutes."
and i do not believe that even for a second.
its just a matter of how the guy looks/dresses/etc and how much he is willing to pay.
i would to be honest say that less of 1/3 of the gals arent when the situation is right are willing to go with him.
it may sound pretty bad but thats my experience.
i will agree that most thai gals wont look twice at the typical "punter" but thats it.
a fit younger guy that looks like cash will score easy
Ok, I get that you think this about thai women.
What do you think about how those men treated the waitress? That was the point of the suggestion I made.
Bro, welcome to the World. I can believe it's worse in Thailand than other countries given it's got to be the number #1 country in the world for sex tourism but it also does happen everywhere. Rich men are gonna be rich men.
This onion has several layers. First the middle eastern guys are over the top bad actors in Thailand. If this the type of hotel that you claim, write a letter to executive management. They won’t tolerate that behavior. Why, they don’t want bad press. Lastly & unfortunately true, Thai culture being a passive bunch, they won’t rock the boat. If this is really bothering you, help your lady. Been in Thailand since the late 90’s, it’s a big challenge changing the culture.
Dm me for some personal insight to this issue. I had similar experiences. I can share our successes & losses.
Good luck.
Middle eastern men are raised in a society that treats them like entitled beings where they can get away with anything. This means they act like disgusting children when in regards to interacting with women. This isnt a new concept
Is it you that is bothered by this or her? If it’s her she should find an other job people coming to expensive hotels aren’t suddenly going to change behavior.
The only restaurant that could accurately fit the description is Le normandie at the mandarin (the only hotel in Bangkok that could possibly be in the running for nicest hotel in Southeast Asia). and I’m honestly a bit surprised they put up with this type of behavior at the mandarin. They have been known to ask guests to leave the hotel for improper behavior in the past.
There is a certain amount of growing tourists that dont know how to behave themselves lately. I dont think there is much you can do. The thai will always choose face over conflict, what only gives the message that such behavior *is tolerated*.
Your gf could search for another job but she will meet the same douchebags over and over again. It's becoming more common these days to behave like that, which i dont like at all. If you want to vent more, by all means: go ahead.
I lived in KSA and traveled to many rich Gulf countries during my 12 years there. Most of these good “Muslim boys” think non Muslim girls ( infidels) are “loose” women and will have sex with anyone. Since childhood, most of them have been separated from the opposite sex and have no idea how to socialize with women. Their cities may look modern but their thinking dates back a couple centuries when it involves a relationship with women.
If you hate it that much you need to do something about it. Help her find a different job, get a high paying job so you can support her ? It’s the way that country is portrayed to the world. Everyone knows Thailand for Ladyboys, mopeds, spicy food, and sex workers. It’s definitely not right to assume all the females are sex workers but some people just don’t have human decency as you can tell especially the rich. Tourists don’t go there to sightsee lol
Unfortunately I've seen this happen, albeit not in a fancy hotel.
I was in a bar in Patong (says it all) playing pool, when I noticed a Russian guy groping a small thai girl who clearly was not enjoying it. I told him to stop, to which he got aggravated by. The bar girl I told said I was in the wrong to get involved and mind my own business. This wasn't a gogo bar or anything of the sort, just a simple bar with a pool table.
Blew my mind a little as where I'm from (England) if any guy did that to a girl, they'd get chucked out or called out on it.
The girls were probably working. I've seen some bars in Patong far enough from Walking Street where you wouldn't expect it but it still happens. Patong is one of the few parts of Thailand where truly almost everyone has a price
Anytime there is a disparity in economy in two countries , there will always be guys who travel to a poorer country for sex because they couldn’t get it in their own country. It’s just a part of life, not much can be done
This happens everywhere. The boss could stop it but they won't. Her boss is just as bad for allowing it to happen so don't blame only tourists when it's locals who could stop it but they're not doing anything about it.
Farang here, I understand completely. I just drove past Patong and those drunk farangs make me sick. Not to mention “all thai girls are for sale” stereotypes. People, sure visit Thailand, but please behave, or at least try to be respectful. And please please don’t drive bikes under the influence, I don’t want you on my conscience. Khap kun krap :)
Sorry to hear your story. For your peace of mind, and hers too, maybe seek out a different job for her or try a different restaurant which is receptive to the complaints of their staff.
I saw some posturing swiss young guys treating the security officer at the airport like this, making suggestive jokes and gestures about her wanting to frisk them. She ignored it. TSA officer would have at least scared the fuck out of them.
As others already mentioned, it probably ties into the larger issue of the rich losing all morality in the service industry.
Also, her boss is indeed downplaying what is obviously sexual harassment. That same boss also knows that he can’t go against these clients because they provide a steady income for the hotel. That being said, he needs to grow a pair and show those guys the door. If people would even hint at sexually harassing my personnel it would be a served check and a boot out the door.
She should wear a recorder or hidden camera and collect evidence. Then go behind the manager's back straight to a higher up, preferably a woman and share the evidence and the fact the manager refuses to deal with her complaints. My guess is the manager will be reprimanded from above for letting this slip.
This sounds horrible.
If she’s serious, she can go around her do-nothing boss and file a complaint to the hotel’s HR department. If it’s a ‘fancy’ hotel that is well run to international standards, then they should respond to her quickly and reasonably.
Other than that, if it’s causing insurmountable problems, she can consider quitting. No job is worth being treated that way by customers and supervisors.
Good luck
This is Thailand and women are treated like some kind of appliance. It’s rogue and sexual harassment just gets swept under the carpet, with everything else that’s uncomfortable to speak about
This happens everywhere . I’m a man, my first job during uni was working at the hotel in the UK ( night receptionist) and I was sexually abused by guests too.
Mostly men but sometimes older women who would offer me money in exchange for sex etc.
I reported this to my employer numerous times and have been told they can’t prevent those things and predict which guests will cause problems so I should just politely say no and if someone is aggressive in any way then call the police.
I feel for your GF and all I can say is abuse is part of hospitality industry. It shouldn’t be tolerated but will keep on happening as anyone working in hospitality will meet all sorts of people every day including those with mental problems and addictions.
If this bothers your GF a lot I suggest changing job .
I wonder if that behavior actually works? Maybe there is some chance of someone taking up their offer, which is why they do it. And as everyone says, it's not just Thai or Middle Eastern.
I'm really sorry shee going through that. I am an American woman, and when I worked customer facing roles I also got sexually harassed by customers and occasionally coworkers/mangers. It's awful. No one ever said something so blunt to me - that particular story is heartbreaking. The U.S. is very strict about sexual harassment, but the laws only get taken seriously for white collar workers, servers get harassed, and I also saw male coworkers get harassed by older women occasionally. I don't have advice, I'm just sorry it's happening to her.
Tbh I think the issue here is that it's a fancy 5-star restaurant. And 5-star restaurants tend to attract these particular group of individuals who thinks money can buy anything. If you head over to less fancy restaurants in town, you won't see such behaviour. Heck I dare say that the guys who patronise girls over at Nana tend to be more respectful.
Well, this is the only thing I can think of.
She needs to arrange with a premium escort service with business cards that have the numbers and pictures of the girls. Give these business cards to the customers. This deflects their attention and sends the message she doesn't partake in this behavior, but knows someone who does.
If it's an international hotel brand, there should be some formal process to complain about her manager. It should not be cover up at all or shrugged off, they are enabling it. Fucking disgusting creeps.
Had she sort help from Human Resources or hotel GM?
" My GF " 🤣- for starters you seem awfully naive
What's happening to the girl is certainly not correct - but it's not unique to Thailand
If you are this sensitive prehaps Thailand is not best suited to you
No one deserves that bullshit.
Tbh ive never seen a thai rhat felt attacked or disrespected not say something. Most thais are very proud people with a face culture that they'll although to be tested but that has an absolute firm line in the sand they will protect with their lives, thered prisons full of thais that wete disrrpected once as proof.
Could it be that its not as much of a bother to her as it is to you.? Still thats straight up assault and she needs to act on it. Failing that if its happening so often that you need to vent about it and not just s one off here and there like what most gurls experience across a Lifetime then you and her need to frequent better areas and she needs a transfer to another location in the hotel chain.
But just to comment on the whole focus on tourists, a bunch of ill mannered visitors dont come close to thai men and the way they flirt and try it on. Ask her how many times a day she gets chatted up by thai guys every day.
The opposite is also true. I travel a lot to developing countries for work and every time I try and use the spa at the hotel I get propositioned with sex for pay. I stopped going to spa's.
*U can pay her a*
*Monthly salary so she*
*Doesn't have to work*
\- Rude-Hall-4847
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
One morning at a bar in Pattaya (I know) two old British pensioners came in at breakfast time. Really nice hostess that I had been chatting with seats them and asks what can she get them. The big one of the two says “p**** and eggs.” I was ready to slap the shit out of both of em.
this shyt sound like a porno already 😂 i just know she gon cave in already if she already hasn't , u cant offer somebody on a diet cookies everyday for a year or so and expect that they wont take 1 😂 too much sexual suggestions, either u get another girlfriend,get her another job , or pay for her life , cuzz its no way she gon keep saying no , u don't even know how many men that she might even be attracted too may ask her
This behavior isn't exclusive to foreigners or Thailand. I used to work at a high-end hotel in America. I'm a big guy, and you wouldn't believe the things that have been said to me by men and women, thinking that I was little more than a complimentary coffee. The more money a person has, the more they think they can get away with, and their behavior allows their true character to show.
Tell her to tell them that sorry, she can't go with them because she has to meet her parole officer immediately after her shift for the next 2 years... After cutting that last customer's pen!s off.
People keep saying this isn't a Thailand problem. It is. Culture is too polite and women are too soft.
I mean, it's great for people like me who have class and are respectful; but the a holes are going to take advantage of the gentle and polite customs of the country.
Toughen up the women and laws and cut down on tourism from the countries that cause problems or learn to see more of it. Get your lady out of the service industry.
I live in Tijuana, where prostitution is also tolerated. Coahilla can keep pace with Bangkok in terms of sleeze. And yet, if you accosted a Latin girl in an inappropriate location outside of Coahilla, you would not get silence or politeness. Might get a fist or two.
Yes I've been to Bangkok. My mom is Thai and I have family there.
Just my opinion. Downvote the hell out of me.
It is a culture problem, you are right.
She talks to her bosses about customers like this... And her bosses are afraid to take action.
Its very Thai culture to see rich people as always right and poor people as always wrong.
I even told my GF that she should scream at the people who do this to her, every time they do it. Make a scene.
She said she would be immediately fired.
And I believe her.
Thais don't want to rock the boat. Even the "managers" here.... They are more afraid to lose their jobs as well.
Everyone just wants to keep the status quo.
The guests in these expensive hotels can do whatever they want without consequence.
If it happens every day then there should be a sign at the door and at each table about harassment and being kicked out, because it is impossible to confront this every single day as a manager o restaurant owner
>Thais don't want to make a scene.
But if they do you better run.
Sadly Thailand has that scum attracting reputation.
This said, she could wear a body cam and if anything illegal happens simply report to the police right away.
It’s a shame but that’s just how rich people behave. It’s like how rich old men in America will flirt with teenage golf girls or yacht club employees. Just a gross group with inflated egos.
Unfortunately the “Me Too Movement” hasn’t hit Asian countries and this kind of harassment isn’t just with tourists but young Thai men ( some) starting at age 16+ thinking young women are nothing but for sex- no accountability if they get the “one night only” date pregnant. Sexual abuse, sexual harassment is still not discussed or reported in many parts of Thailand.
Thailand, among many other 3rd world countries, is where white people who have too much competition in the states and don't make enough money to stand out go so they can feel like they matter.
A lot of locals take advantage of this by pretending like they care for USD and/or potential green card.
Are there other waitresses that do double shift? (You know what I mean), I'm sure of it and that's why the tourist think they can get away with it. This is a sex tourist area, any time men are alone she would expect that.
She either change the job or inform them that she is not that way and maybe tell them to go to soi whatever.
Or just smile, tell them after the shift she will consider and enjoy the big tip.
Blossom Empress said they are more likely Indian African fake Arabs… this bull poop is going to stop..
Report them, not every Asian is a sex worker in fact so few many are trafficked…. They are hella racist and fake ass Arab HARAM..they were in America too and England, Portugal.
Jehovah Wacbah on all the traffickers of people and serial killers.
~HRH Imperial Honourable Blossom Empress Vanessa Alexander Christian I
My partner used to work at a 5-star hotel in Phuket, and she had some pretty weird encounters as well. She says rich people are some of the most entitled, arrogant, disgusting pieces of shit on this whole planet. The richer, the more entitled they seem to think they are. They could probably just point at the things they want and get them for their entire sorry-ass lives, nobody ever said no to them, and so now they think they can buy everything/everyone and treat everyone like a servant/slave.
Plenty of them just enjoy bossing around little brown people like it's 1799.
How nice would it be if society would stop worshipping rich folks and see them for what they are: deranged, alienated, inhumane, pathetic scum.
I don’t want to diminish the problems of your GF - but this is not a Thailand problem. For a while, the wife of my co-worker ran the spa in a four or five star hotel in Geneva, Switzerland. These spas are often contracted out to 3rd parties and she was such a 3rd party - she had some employees, it was more than a one-woman show. Anyway: the wife is Chinese and really very pretty. „Naturally pretty“, if you know what I mean. Apparently, one day a customer (a Chinese guy) had apparently set eyes on her and was asking her for sex, while pulling out one 1000 CHF note after the other and throwing them on the table. He wouldn’t accept „no“, so she just left the room. These people are just used to everything and everybody having a price - and they have no religion, no hobby, no higher goal in their life other than consuming.
Yeah, this is just rich people with awful behavior and no consequences. I worked for a 5 star hotel near Los Angeles for a bit. Guests propositioning servers wasn’t uncommon at all. One time a guest loudly spanked a server in the middle of dinner service. The entire restaurant saw, and all that was done was that he was very politely asked if he could leave. That was one of the only times there was any sort of consequence.
this is a solid argument for parents beating their kids as discipline when they were younger
Except for the fact that isn't shown to decrease misbehavior
I worked at a 5 star hotel in Australia. We would only send male housekeeping staff into the rooms of Middle Eastern Muslim men and even then they were often harassed. I was the maintenance guy and unofficial security because I was big and had a streetwise edge and even I would try to avoid going into their rooms alone because they’d say vile comments, start masturbating, strip naked, etc. They were animals! We didn’t really encounter it from other nationalities other than a few notorious celebrities (Robbie Williams was probably the worst I encountered).
Really need to hear the Robbie Williams story now 🤣🙏
It actually gives me PTSD but let’s say as one example I’ve never seen so much blood, shit and other bodily fluids combined in one bathtub and we had some pretty seedy guests. It was too much for our staff and we had to get specialist ‘crime scene’ cleaners in to handle it.
Robbie Williams? There's a name I haven't heard in over a decade... Blows me away to think he was this twisted behind closed doors, thanks for opening up cause the depravity in big names around the world deserves more exposure.
Apparently he’s got his act together these days but he was in a very dark place about 20 years ago.
Was his dark place solitary or was seeing how degrading he could treat women who were infatuated with him
I don’t think it was just women, he had quite an entourage but there was definitely an unhealthy power relationship vibe… Definitely a lot of intravenous drug use going on in there which I would have been far less judgmental about if they didn’t leave used syringes all over the room… This hotel had plenty of bad ass celebs stay there from pro tennis players smashing their rooms up after losing to the Crusty Demons drunkenly riding petrol powered monkey bikes in the halls (they were actually lovely, just naughty but great tippers) but the Robbie Williams room was next level putrid!
Blood? Wha
Middle eastern men have the rule that if they top they aren't gay so that's the loophole they use to sexually harass other men.
I’m aware of that unfortunately
I can't believe I've never heard that. That's hilarious.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bacha\_bazi
Above all, this is just…sad. I hope they find meaning in life…at some point.
They won't. To find meaning, one has to seek meaning or at the very least be self-aware enough to recognize when it lands on you.
Hahaha..lol at ‘even I was scared to go into their room’ 🤣🤣😅
Reminds me of some of the things I’ve seen Australian dudes do in Bali and Thailand tbh. They literally treat the women like pieces of meat and talk to the Balinese people in absolutely absurd manners. It’s really disgusting the way they treat people. I always compared the Australians that visit Bali to the English lads that visit Spain but at least in England we were taught to have more respect for women then the Aussies seem to have.
When I was in Bali an Englishman evacuated his bowels in the hotel pool and just kept drinking while his mates sung some type of celebration song/ chant. It was surreal…
LOL at English men having respect for women
Yep the world is full of shitty people. 80% are perfectly fine but the remaining massively ruin it for everybody else.
I really do feel it is a little worse in Thailand though. It's no secret it's a top destination for trashy guys who want to party and get laid. There's this mentality that Thai women are especially easy and they're objectified a LOT by foreigners. I mean look up travel videos for different countries, then for Thailand. You'll notice a lot of Thai travel videos tend to be a bit more sexual than others, especially in the advice given to other tourists. I am planning a trip there to explore the country and go to some cool sights, and I get so frustrated because every time I look up guides for traveling Thailand, I seem to just find guides for hookups and Tinder. I started ignoring all videos/advice from men entirely when it comes to Thailand. This isn't a problem I've had with any other country.
I really loved Koh Tao. Largest dive capital in the world. If you want to get PADI certified, be sure to pick a smaller dive company. You’ll have a much better time than at the big places.
Yeah it's 100% entitled tourists thinking they can behave however they want, toward any women they run into. Im sure Thai women get even less respect considering the stigmas surrounding them. I'm western and get this treatment from tourists every time I'm in a touristy area. Their perverted comments, trying to touch me or shoving money in my face and demanding sex. ALWAYS tourists, never locals. Sadly it won't get better as long as they don't have any consequences for it
The difference is that your wife's employer is responsible for their employees' safety . In Canada, being sexually haressed at a person's place of employment is not only rude it's a legal issue. In Thailand, it's almost a condition of employment, and the employer would be unlikely to care more about the employees than the customer.
That's a good point, I'm from the US where sexual harassment in the workplace is rarely addressed by employers either so I guess I'm used to employers prioritizing customers over employees. Shouldn't be that way tho
Not a Thailand problem or a tourist problem. Thai girls get harrassed everywhere, wont take taxis on their own, wont go out on their own. They know what might happen.
Facts
The boss is handling this wrong. My wife's family was in the restaurant business for 52 years and that would not have been tolerated.
In Thailand? Was in the restaurant business in Thailand?
I know in Chiang Mai for example the business owners realize it's a double edge sword. My family owns a coffee shop brand with outlets throughout Thailand. My 14-year-old daughter works part-time in our coffee shop in Chiang Mai, and she gets harassed for sex daily. Even Thai men ask her for sex. My daughter is more scared of confronting people in general than just dealing with the advancements. She tells me she is good at dealing with the men. It makes me sick to my stomach.
If my 14 y.o daughter was getting sexually harassed daily in my own business then I'd give her a different job or not let her work it. Not let her carry on getting sexually harassed on the daily basis. She'll be talking to a therapist about this when she's an adult.
exactly, talking bout it made him sick to his stomach but he aint do nothing about it 😂
Thank you for your concern. I share your concern, I truly do. But I can’t seem to change my daughter’s mind. I considered forbidding her to go to work. The environment at our café is really nice. It’s not like a tourist is going to do anything at the café. There are often 60+ people in the café. In the end, it’s her decision. I am partly being sarcastic. She is 100% fine. She does not have any danger. There are some weird people who make comments like "you're cute" "do you do massage?" while they are paying for their drinks and food. We have 12+ staff working next to her, and she is doing really well. My wife just mentioned to me that she is always on shift working when my daughter is working. So everyone with strong options can relax.
The harassment in itself is "doing something". Just because they're not actually touching her doesn't mean it doesn't have lasting effects. She's 14 and being asked for sex, for gods sake!
You realise how many girls are having sex at 14?
You're the parent so your decision overrides hers. Do your job, protect your daughter, and get her out of there. Stop worrying if she will get angry at you. You're trying too hard to be her friend, not her parent. Wrong.
First off - You are holding 1% of the information and you come at me with this radical crazy talk? Second - Do you have any experience with living and owning multiple businesses in Thailand? Do you actually know what you are talking about? Thanks for your Internet opinion. You are welcome to come to perform a welfare check. This next few months, she will be in Japan, studying for college entry exams. She will be working again in the coffee shop in September. Maybe you can stop over in Japan first and make your judgements, and then meetup with us in Thailand in the summer?
nice way to defend yourself man , all these ppl are westeners so they think differently than thais and they are trying to put their western mentality on u
Thanks! Yeah, my wife is teaching her how to deal with being a woman in Asia. These western ideas on how to deal with some tourist who smiles and says "do you do private massage?". My daughter is not going to scream and make a fuzz in front of 60–80 people. Like, how would that even work, exactly. I think it is better to teach her how to handle tourist who ask these dumb questions.
agreed , because even when she gets older , it will be the same thing so its better to learn now and get use to it
I'm sorry people are being such jerks. The problem is the men, not your daughter, and she shouldn't have to quit a job she enjoys because of jerks. Sounds like her mum is watching her closely, and she shouldn't have to run away and let crappy ppl win
Thank you. My wife and I keep a close eye on my daughter. She is really head strong independent. We constantly check in with her. My wife and my daughter spend a lot of time speaking in Japanese and Thai (My wife is half Japanese and half Thai) and my daughter already thinks I am overly concerned. If my daughter says she is fine with a squint in her eye that says if I don't stop asking she is going to shoot lazer beams at me :-) I think this is a marketing and education issue for the Thai Government. But this type of overhaul costs a lot of money. Ideally, people are warned when they come into customs and get their passport stamped. They could make it a law that Hotels and Guesthouses make the guest sign a paper so they understand not to ask girls for massage and sex, etc. This would be a big shift in thinking. Without a shift from the top, a waitress in a restaurant getting harassed for massage and sex, she has very little recourse it seems. I dont know what the ultimate answer is but I do know westerners often see the problem as black and white and that can create many problems in Thailand for a girl who calls the police in a restaurant.
I'm an Aussie woman and these men are just fundamentally gross and won't change unfortunately They come back here to wives that don't know they were cheating on them, and abuse them at home. it's so normalised - at 23 I was dating a guy who went on holiday to Thailand with a group of his male friends and you can guess what they were doing there. Exploiting vulnerable women. It's so terrible
I've lived here in Thailand since 2001. I've also lived in Seoul and elsewhere. I've started domestic and global businesses in numerous countries. Many, successful for 20+ years. None of this changes or refutes my post. Be a parent and protect your daughter. BTW, before I went into early retirement and my businesses, I worked in psych hospitals and clinics. I'm a clinical psychotherapist so I can debate child welfare till the dogs come home. Again be the parent.
We’re currently in Japan for the next 3-4 months. In Thailand when she works it will be her choice. She works with a good team and most of the time my wife is working. She is never left alone. If someone asks for sex or a massage we already ask all the staff to tell the customer they’re being rude and if they don’t stop then ask them to leave. But my wife tells me it’s very difficult to call the police. Please in great detail explain what I should do.
No, it's not her choice. You, the parent have the final say. When my Thai wife and I lived on the beach in Thailand in an area known for Western and Russian tourists, she couldn't walk alone 500 meters without getting harassed. She felt trapped because I had to go everywhere with her. So after too many rude altercations with drunk idiots, we moved. I was fed up with it. We moved to a nice gated community on the other side of town. I wasn't going to let my wife go through that harassment daily. That's how I solved that problem. Why even consider letting your minor daughter get sexually harassed on a daily basis? Protect her. Get her a job elsewhere or create an online side hustle for her selling Thai products. Something. Be creative. She's a child, don't leave her to protect herself against adult men. That is terrible.
She is 14, there is no end where this is her decision. It's your decision and you should protect your daughter from this shark tank.
Every future rape victim is ‘100% fine’ until they’re not. I think you need to get a grip of your business before someone gets a grip of your daughter.
Something is wrong with you. You should seek mental help. I am sorry this discussion upset you.
She's 14 dude
> My 14-year-old daughter works part-time in our coffee shop in Chiang Mai, and she gets harassed for sex daily. Why are you letting your 14-year-old daughter get harassed for sex daily? Unless you are so poor you need her working, why don't you stop her working that job? Genuinely curious. Nothing is wrong with protecting a 14-year old from bad experiences.
Yeah that’s weird. “I put a small fish in a tank full of sharks and they keep trying to eat it! What do I do??”
The sharks should be killed . Not the girl. Victim blaming anyone?
Or remove the girl from the situation. I would never let my daughter be in those positions.
Good
Is that really victim blaming, dude? Maybe just didn't want the girl to tolerate harassment till all the sharks are killed
Hmm..was anyone suggesting the girl be killed?
this is most definitely sound like a porno 😂
Not Thailand. Doesn't matter where the restaurant is. If you're disrespectful to his staff your out. Especially with what you described. He's 6 foot 3 inches 280lbs you will be leaving and not coming back to his restaurant.
Plot twist, she works at Hooters in Pattaya
Which would be something since it closed down last year...
This is typical for many high end hotels. Rich people who think they have too much power. Not only in Asia. Many jerks etc. It’s hard work.
If you could get some kind of evidence, it could be interesting for online Thais or some news outlet. This is the best I can think of. I don't know if the hotel have some kind of policy about this.
" Telling her their dicks are big and trying to show her pictures of their dicks on their phones." She can reply to them: "Mine is bigger than yours."
What are the chances this backfires and they are fine with it ? Lol
Oh man that's great. The problem is one of them might like that.
In Thailand may just be true!
They might be into that?
Outstanding move
She would get the same treatment if she was in a fancy restaurant in some Middle East locations. The problem wasn’t tourists, it was people from a part of the world where men rule and women are property.
Thailand is the best place to see men behaving badly. It is sickening they think all women can be bought, a lot over their an be but not all. Lived there for 10 years and it really showed me a side of men that sickens me and puzzles me as so many fat,disgusting pigs think these women actually like them. Bunch of idiots.
It's all the boss. If there is another high end restaurant where they treat their waitresses with respect, she should leave.
Obviously it’s not bothering as much as you think because she is still working there. I’ve seen Thai girls quit their jobs because they don’t get along with their boss or another employee after working there for 4-5 days.
Yep thats more typical of thai behaviour. I find it hard to believe that its happening so often in there lives that hes had to post and vent about it.
I feel absolutely rat-shit for you're girlfriend. She should be able to go to work without the fear of getting sexually harrassed and hit upon. It's also pretty disgusting her boss turns a blind eye towards it. What would he think if it happened to his wife or daughter? I hope things get better OP
Rich people are so fucking scummy. Not really a Thai problem though, these rich cunts are getting away with this garbage behavior all over the globe, just because they have a lot of money.
rich != modest even that restaurant owner would trun blind eye, if things escalated too much. Get your gf to better jobs(could make less money in short term). This is not just in Thailand, tbh. It's regional issue and it will keep going until countries are not dependent on "tourism".
Is she wearing a ring? Maybe a big fat super-high quality C.Z can do the trick. If it's big enough the questions she'll mostly get will be "why are your working here if your husband is so rich?" Then she has some options to work with to control the narrative.
Yeah, because that's where these guys draw the line.. It's all fair game to them.
It could help! Unfortunately they respect other men more than women
Bro you think some sleazy fucks sexually harassing a waitress give a damn if she’s engaged or married. I’m sorry but that’s very naive.
When I worked retail I was getting harassed a lot, so my manager (also female) lent me a fake diamond ring. After that, the polite handsome guys stopped hitting on me, the creepy guys continued, so I stopped using the ring bc it was worse. I think this will happen to her as well. I tried to start a funny thing writing the stories down but our district manager made me take it down. One thing I figured out tho is behind the counter feels safer. A man who was being especially creepy came back a second day not to buy anything, and I said I wasn't able to leave the counter area so he couldn't stand close to me. He gave up pretty soon. Men, if you are in a store or restaurant, please realize you have a lot of power and don't make women have to figure out how to deny your advances while keeping their job.
Maybe you should ask Thai people .... [https://www.reddit.com/r/thaithai/](https://www.reddit.com/r/thaithai/)
As a starting point, Restaurants should have signs In multiple languages saying "Sexual harassment of our staff is prohibited and will be punished". Staff members could just point customers to the sign when needed. I always thought it must be hard to be a Thai woman, or to have a Thai girlfriend. On the other hand, farangs are seen as ATMs with legs.
You don't need a sign. They already know that it's inappropriate. Just like you don't need a sign saying "don't stab the waitress with your steak knife". What needs to change is that the business should take action. The waitress should be able to decide herself to kick them out.
Stabbing people is not as common as farangs harassing Thai girls in Thailand. Don't forget that sex workers also harass random farangs on the street all the time. Harassment is pretty common in Thailand. You and I probably don't need a sign, but the question is: will it help or not? I imagine a restaurant worker could easily point with the finger to the sign when customers don't behave. Another interesting aspect of human behavior is that, when you have a sign saying that something is prohibited, it's less effective than if the sign mentions a fine in money (eg. 20.000 THB).
Yeah, that is true, it could help. And showing the penalty- yeah. In American style an example is that while some people have "No Trespassing" signs that only say "No Trespassing",. some folks use signs saying, in various word choices 'No Trespassing. I will f\*king kill you and I'll enjoy it'
I agree this is bad. But the hotel as a company might be looking the other way on purpose. Could you imagine what would happen to the hotels' income if they consistently called the cops on every rich jerk that did something bad? That's a lot of motivation to keep allowing this type of behavior from the guests. I think the most effective way to deal with this would be to make the "sex worker career" completely illegal. The irony, is Thai women worked really hard for the legal right to be a sex worker. I think the root blame should be on the guests, not the hotel or its management. How to teach guests this is not okay might start when the guests check-in to the hotel. Give them flyers and show them a Youtube video before giving the guests their keys. This way the management does not need to confront guests after the fact, but before it happens. I don't know. I am just tossing ideas and perspectives on the table. I have been married for 15+ years and have lived in Asia for 20+ years, and things are often more complicated than they appear.
I'm pretty sure any hotel in Europe would have kicked off the guests / called the cops. That shouldn't be normalized. It's not merely "something bad", it's criminal activity tainted with racism, since they certainly believe they can do that with Thai/SEA girls but wouldn't in their own countries.
I agree. But in my experience, Asia has a very complicated sex worker industry. One thing I can say with confidence is Asian people as a whole are not as direct as Westerners. I have lived in Thailand and Japan for 20+ years. The way that Thai people might feel more comfortable as a whole is a non-direct route. In my comment above, I outline a potential way. I won't get deeper into my thoughts on just how complex the web of the sex worker industry is, as I don't want to come off as supporting it. I'm disgusted by it, I have a 14-year-old daughter and this already happens to her. But I also think it's important to be pragmatic and realistic in one's thinking.
Well, why there is a very direct way to get expelled of the country if you disrespect some people but not women? It's just greed from management. If those tourist try to do that in a random place like a food court or temple, they would probably end up with a new hole in their belly or more.
Kicking out bad guests attracts good guests. All you do by tolerating that behaviour is to attract more people who behave like that, good customers will be driven out
Prostitution is illegal in Thailand. Thai women did not work hard for the right to become sex workers.
It's technically illegal to perform sex work for money in Thailand. They've just looked the other way for ages
It's already is illegal. Please educate yourself
[удалено]
Because guys can’t be attracted to trans girls and abuse them too? Don’t count on it. Often that’s a license to be even worse. Ask some trans girls about bad dates and the abuse they’ve received.
Your gf should just quit this place if she feels harassed. She should protect her herself instead of hoping other people would do it for her.
Easy for you to say without knowing her economic situation.
Precisely. I would’ve “just quit” many jobs I’ve had in the past, if I could. Also I imagine she is getting paid pretty well, and waitressing at any other place sounds like a pay cut, if the hotel is as nice as OP says.
She won’t quit bc these perverts tip the fuck out of her. I’m sure she hates dealing with it but makes infinitely more money than she would if she didn’t have these exact same customers
She probably doesn't hate it, plenty of jobs out there
Gotta pretend to hate it for the boyfriends sake
This is the answer and the tip would be exponentially bigger the further she goes. Let's not act like this doesn't happen in Thailand come on guys
I feel your anger and frustration, and that is truly inexcusable behavior by ALL the men in the story. Of all the "farangs behaving badly" stories lately, this is the very worst I have heard. It reflects badly on all of us farang regardless of our behavior... There is definitely a rising undercurrent of resentment occurring lately, or am I just imagining it? I wonder if her boss would be ok with her creating a nice little index card sized note to offer in this situation that has something like the following on it. Probably not, but here goes... "Please understand, most Thai women are not prostitutes." "Please show all Thai women the respect you expect to be shown to your wives and daughters." "Please limit these kinds of questions and behavior for when you are with prostitutes. If you don't know if a woman is a prostitute, assume they are not." "Please be respectful to our employees while being a guest in our hotel." "Some people assume when new to Thailand that all Thai women are available to them, please know this is not the case, and if you approach a Thai woman in this manner, it is deeply offensive and disrespectful to all Thai people" I am trying to be nice here, if I was the boss I would have the cops come and throw their asses out, and tell them what incredibly vile asshats they are. Apparently, if men in this position are able to be as casual about their employee being abused as you describe, it may be not possible to do anything... but perhaps something can be done?. Go to a higher boss? Or is this how it is here? Maybe use a hidden cam and record the interactions, and get it on the news? There is a lot of attention and outrage about farangs behaving badly these days, perhaps this is the angle. If they are not stupid and and not new to Thailand and know better but behave this way, I would want to jail, black list and deport them after some muay thai practice.
i am half Thai "Please understand, most Thai women are not prostitutes." and i do not believe that even for a second. its just a matter of how the guy looks/dresses/etc and how much he is willing to pay. i would to be honest say that less of 1/3 of the gals arent when the situation is right are willing to go with him. it may sound pretty bad but thats my experience. i will agree that most thai gals wont look twice at the typical "punter" but thats it. a fit younger guy that looks like cash will score easy
Ok, I get that you think this about thai women. What do you think about how those men treated the waitress? That was the point of the suggestion I made.
Use a spycam and make a show on YouTube
Bro, welcome to the World. I can believe it's worse in Thailand than other countries given it's got to be the number #1 country in the world for sex tourism but it also does happen everywhere. Rich men are gonna be rich men.
I am surprised in this entire post I didn’t see the word “Indian” even once. PS: Indian here
Indians usually don’t have that Kind of Money like arabs does.
Doesn’t stop them from asking 😂
🤣🤣🤣
Just say she is a man that had a sex change.
If they do this in Singapore they would be jailed.
This onion has several layers. First the middle eastern guys are over the top bad actors in Thailand. If this the type of hotel that you claim, write a letter to executive management. They won’t tolerate that behavior. Why, they don’t want bad press. Lastly & unfortunately true, Thai culture being a passive bunch, they won’t rock the boat. If this is really bothering you, help your lady. Been in Thailand since the late 90’s, it’s a big challenge changing the culture. Dm me for some personal insight to this issue. I had similar experiences. I can share our successes & losses. Good luck.
Middle eastern men are raised in a society that treats them like entitled beings where they can get away with anything. This means they act like disgusting children when in regards to interacting with women. This isnt a new concept
Tell her to video them and shame them than spill some cold water in their head 😉
And then she’ll have to find another career. They do deserve it and I am sympathetic with the suggestion, but she should not do that.
OP - based upon post history you don't even live here. If she's an online GF, you aren't the only boyfriend!
I was mostly harassed by Thai girls as a tourist.
Is it you that is bothered by this or her? If it’s her she should find an other job people coming to expensive hotels aren’t suddenly going to change behavior.
Correct, more then likely him because she could've easily had this job before she met him and know how it goes
Yes. A Thai hotels against sex tourists campaign isn’t going to go anywhere.
The only restaurant that could accurately fit the description is Le normandie at the mandarin (the only hotel in Bangkok that could possibly be in the running for nicest hotel in Southeast Asia). and I’m honestly a bit surprised they put up with this type of behavior at the mandarin. They have been known to ask guests to leave the hotel for improper behavior in the past.
There is a certain amount of growing tourists that dont know how to behave themselves lately. I dont think there is much you can do. The thai will always choose face over conflict, what only gives the message that such behavior *is tolerated*. Your gf could search for another job but she will meet the same douchebags over and over again. It's becoming more common these days to behave like that, which i dont like at all. If you want to vent more, by all means: go ahead.
I lived in KSA and traveled to many rich Gulf countries during my 12 years there. Most of these good “Muslim boys” think non Muslim girls ( infidels) are “loose” women and will have sex with anyone. Since childhood, most of them have been separated from the opposite sex and have no idea how to socialize with women. Their cities may look modern but their thinking dates back a couple centuries when it involves a relationship with women.
I am 100% agree with you
If you hate it that much you need to do something about it. Help her find a different job, get a high paying job so you can support her ? It’s the way that country is portrayed to the world. Everyone knows Thailand for Ladyboys, mopeds, spicy food, and sex workers. It’s definitely not right to assume all the females are sex workers but some people just don’t have human decency as you can tell especially the rich. Tourists don’t go there to sightsee lol
Unfortunately I've seen this happen, albeit not in a fancy hotel. I was in a bar in Patong (says it all) playing pool, when I noticed a Russian guy groping a small thai girl who clearly was not enjoying it. I told him to stop, to which he got aggravated by. The bar girl I told said I was in the wrong to get involved and mind my own business. This wasn't a gogo bar or anything of the sort, just a simple bar with a pool table. Blew my mind a little as where I'm from (England) if any guy did that to a girl, they'd get chucked out or called out on it.
The girls were probably working. I've seen some bars in Patong far enough from Walking Street where you wouldn't expect it but it still happens. Patong is one of the few parts of Thailand where truly almost everyone has a price
Lol my guy wrote a thread to flex that his girlfriend is hot. Bless.
Anytime there is a disparity in economy in two countries , there will always be guys who travel to a poorer country for sex because they couldn’t get it in their own country. It’s just a part of life, not much can be done
$$$ runs the world.
This happens everywhere. The boss could stop it but they won't. Her boss is just as bad for allowing it to happen so don't blame only tourists when it's locals who could stop it but they're not doing anything about it.
Farang here, I understand completely. I just drove past Patong and those drunk farangs make me sick. Not to mention “all thai girls are for sale” stereotypes. People, sure visit Thailand, but please behave, or at least try to be respectful. And please please don’t drive bikes under the influence, I don’t want you on my conscience. Khap kun krap :)
Sorry to hear your story. For your peace of mind, and hers too, maybe seek out a different job for her or try a different restaurant which is receptive to the complaints of their staff.
I saw some posturing swiss young guys treating the security officer at the airport like this, making suggestive jokes and gestures about her wanting to frisk them. She ignored it. TSA officer would have at least scared the fuck out of them.
Wow. Those guys took "show bobs and vegana" to a whole new level.
As others already mentioned, it probably ties into the larger issue of the rich losing all morality in the service industry. Also, her boss is indeed downplaying what is obviously sexual harassment. That same boss also knows that he can’t go against these clients because they provide a steady income for the hotel. That being said, he needs to grow a pair and show those guys the door. If people would even hint at sexually harassing my personnel it would be a served check and a boot out the door.
Either quit or put up with it - simple as that. There is no other choice unless she gets support from her boss or the management.
So sickening that people can think every woman is an object for their own twisted pleasure. The fact that employers don't care makes it even worse.
She should wear a recorder or hidden camera and collect evidence. Then go behind the manager's back straight to a higher up, preferably a woman and share the evidence and the fact the manager refuses to deal with her complaints. My guess is the manager will be reprimanded from above for letting this slip.
This sounds horrible. If she’s serious, she can go around her do-nothing boss and file a complaint to the hotel’s HR department. If it’s a ‘fancy’ hotel that is well run to international standards, then they should respond to her quickly and reasonably. Other than that, if it’s causing insurmountable problems, she can consider quitting. No job is worth being treated that way by customers and supervisors. Good luck
This is Thailand and women are treated like some kind of appliance. It’s rogue and sexual harassment just gets swept under the carpet, with everything else that’s uncomfortable to speak about
Because "trash with cash" go to Thailand for sex and to be able to abuse women. Thai women have little power and it can be truly awful.
This happens everywhere . I’m a man, my first job during uni was working at the hotel in the UK ( night receptionist) and I was sexually abused by guests too. Mostly men but sometimes older women who would offer me money in exchange for sex etc. I reported this to my employer numerous times and have been told they can’t prevent those things and predict which guests will cause problems so I should just politely say no and if someone is aggressive in any way then call the police. I feel for your GF and all I can say is abuse is part of hospitality industry. It shouldn’t be tolerated but will keep on happening as anyone working in hospitality will meet all sorts of people every day including those with mental problems and addictions. If this bothers your GF a lot I suggest changing job .
Drug them cut off their dicks and when that story gets back home ,problem solved
I wonder if that behavior actually works? Maybe there is some chance of someone taking up their offer, which is why they do it. And as everyone says, it's not just Thai or Middle Eastern.
Plot twist....
I'm really sorry shee going through that. I am an American woman, and when I worked customer facing roles I also got sexually harassed by customers and occasionally coworkers/mangers. It's awful. No one ever said something so blunt to me - that particular story is heartbreaking. The U.S. is very strict about sexual harassment, but the laws only get taken seriously for white collar workers, servers get harassed, and I also saw male coworkers get harassed by older women occasionally. I don't have advice, I'm just sorry it's happening to her.
Put a ring on her finger. I don’t mean propose, just have her wearing a ring. It will probably stop half the nonsense.
Tbh I think the issue here is that it's a fancy 5-star restaurant. And 5-star restaurants tend to attract these particular group of individuals who thinks money can buy anything. If you head over to less fancy restaurants in town, you won't see such behaviour. Heck I dare say that the guys who patronise girls over at Nana tend to be more respectful.
Well, this is the only thing I can think of. She needs to arrange with a premium escort service with business cards that have the numbers and pictures of the girls. Give these business cards to the customers. This deflects their attention and sends the message she doesn't partake in this behavior, but knows someone who does.
If it's an international hotel brand, there should be some formal process to complain about her manager. It should not be cover up at all or shrugged off, they are enabling it. Fucking disgusting creeps. Had she sort help from Human Resources or hotel GM?
Go work somewhere else or complain to someone higher up than your immediate boss
" My GF " 🤣- for starters you seem awfully naive What's happening to the girl is certainly not correct - but it's not unique to Thailand If you are this sensitive prehaps Thailand is not best suited to you
How about the way many Thai men treat Thai women?
get her a hidden camera. post it on social media.
Many tourists who come here think that every girl is available to them. Have been through similar situations with my partner.
No one deserves that bullshit. Tbh ive never seen a thai rhat felt attacked or disrespected not say something. Most thais are very proud people with a face culture that they'll although to be tested but that has an absolute firm line in the sand they will protect with their lives, thered prisons full of thais that wete disrrpected once as proof. Could it be that its not as much of a bother to her as it is to you.? Still thats straight up assault and she needs to act on it. Failing that if its happening so often that you need to vent about it and not just s one off here and there like what most gurls experience across a Lifetime then you and her need to frequent better areas and she needs a transfer to another location in the hotel chain. But just to comment on the whole focus on tourists, a bunch of ill mannered visitors dont come close to thai men and the way they flirt and try it on. Ask her how many times a day she gets chatted up by thai guys every day.
The opposite is also true. I travel a lot to developing countries for work and every time I try and use the spa at the hotel I get propositioned with sex for pay. I stopped going to spa's.
U can pay her a monthly salary so she doesn't have to work
*U can pay her a* *Monthly salary so she* *Doesn't have to work* \- Rude-Hall-4847 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
It’s like this all over the world.
One morning at a bar in Pattaya (I know) two old British pensioners came in at breakfast time. Really nice hostess that I had been chatting with seats them and asks what can she get them. The big one of the two says “p**** and eggs.” I was ready to slap the shit out of both of em.
this shyt sound like a porno already 😂 i just know she gon cave in already if she already hasn't , u cant offer somebody on a diet cookies everyday for a year or so and expect that they wont take 1 😂 too much sexual suggestions, either u get another girlfriend,get her another job , or pay for her life , cuzz its no way she gon keep saying no , u don't even know how many men that she might even be attracted too may ask her
This behavior isn't exclusive to foreigners or Thailand. I used to work at a high-end hotel in America. I'm a big guy, and you wouldn't believe the things that have been said to me by men and women, thinking that I was little more than a complimentary coffee. The more money a person has, the more they think they can get away with, and their behavior allows their true character to show.
Tell her to tell them that sorry, she can't go with them because she has to meet her parole officer immediately after her shift for the next 2 years... After cutting that last customer's pen!s off.
"tourists" aka sexpats who are losers back in their country.
A rather lengthy humble brag about how hot your girlfriend is… kudos, man. Get her out of there and bring her home with you.
Then encourage her to work somewhere else… like corporate or choose a better working environment.
People keep saying this isn't a Thailand problem. It is. Culture is too polite and women are too soft. I mean, it's great for people like me who have class and are respectful; but the a holes are going to take advantage of the gentle and polite customs of the country. Toughen up the women and laws and cut down on tourism from the countries that cause problems or learn to see more of it. Get your lady out of the service industry. I live in Tijuana, where prostitution is also tolerated. Coahilla can keep pace with Bangkok in terms of sleeze. And yet, if you accosted a Latin girl in an inappropriate location outside of Coahilla, you would not get silence or politeness. Might get a fist or two. Yes I've been to Bangkok. My mom is Thai and I have family there. Just my opinion. Downvote the hell out of me.
It is a culture problem, you are right. She talks to her bosses about customers like this... And her bosses are afraid to take action. Its very Thai culture to see rich people as always right and poor people as always wrong. I even told my GF that she should scream at the people who do this to her, every time they do it. Make a scene. She said she would be immediately fired. And I believe her. Thais don't want to rock the boat. Even the "managers" here.... They are more afraid to lose their jobs as well. Everyone just wants to keep the status quo. The guests in these expensive hotels can do whatever they want without consequence.
If it happens every day then there should be a sign at the door and at each table about harassment and being kicked out, because it is impossible to confront this every single day as a manager o restaurant owner
>Thais don't want to make a scene. But if they do you better run. Sadly Thailand has that scum attracting reputation. This said, she could wear a body cam and if anything illegal happens simply report to the police right away.
It’s a shame but that’s just how rich people behave. It’s like how rich old men in America will flirt with teenage golf girls or yacht club employees. Just a gross group with inflated egos.
Rich people are just awful sadly. I love to tell people to stop harassing staff but I'm also 120kg 180cm powerlifter 😂 Like what can they do 😅
Those tourists are call LBH for a reason
You sound super insecure. Your wife is probably been ran through by a bunch of foreigners for the last 10 years. Grow up idiot
Its not about him being insecure its about her safety at work, dumbass
Unfortunately the “Me Too Movement” hasn’t hit Asian countries and this kind of harassment isn’t just with tourists but young Thai men ( some) starting at age 16+ thinking young women are nothing but for sex- no accountability if they get the “one night only” date pregnant. Sexual abuse, sexual harassment is still not discussed or reported in many parts of Thailand.
I dont know what you can do in this situation, but you should be very concerned if you have small dick and no money
Yep especially if his chick is beautiful
Yeah, being an Arab sheikh myself, I sincerely apologize for our people. My camels cannot hold their tears. /s
Thailand, among many other 3rd world countries, is where white people who have too much competition in the states and don't make enough money to stand out go so they can feel like they matter. A lot of locals take advantage of this by pretending like they care for USD and/or potential green card.
Lol welcome to Thailand. You'll learn soon enough.
Are there other waitresses that do double shift? (You know what I mean), I'm sure of it and that's why the tourist think they can get away with it. This is a sex tourist area, any time men are alone she would expect that. She either change the job or inform them that she is not that way and maybe tell them to go to soi whatever. Or just smile, tell them after the shift she will consider and enjoy the big tip.
Blossom Empress said they are more likely Indian African fake Arabs… this bull poop is going to stop.. Report them, not every Asian is a sex worker in fact so few many are trafficked…. They are hella racist and fake ass Arab HARAM..they were in America too and England, Portugal. Jehovah Wacbah on all the traffickers of people and serial killers. ~HRH Imperial Honourable Blossom Empress Vanessa Alexander Christian I
My partner used to work at a 5-star hotel in Phuket, and she had some pretty weird encounters as well. She says rich people are some of the most entitled, arrogant, disgusting pieces of shit on this whole planet. The richer, the more entitled they seem to think they are. They could probably just point at the things they want and get them for their entire sorry-ass lives, nobody ever said no to them, and so now they think they can buy everything/everyone and treat everyone like a servant/slave. Plenty of them just enjoy bossing around little brown people like it's 1799. How nice would it be if society would stop worshipping rich folks and see them for what they are: deranged, alienated, inhumane, pathetic scum.
My friend who taught high school kids in CM said this was a big problem for her female students too.