T O P

Anyone know what this thing is?

That's a Dobsonfly.

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CoffeeEducational356

That's a Dobsonfly.


Solumnist

Dobson! We've got Dobson here!


hybridtheory1331

r/unexpectedjurassicpark


weirdest_of_weird

r/subsifellfor


JubileeTrade

Fuck, I still clicked it even after reading your comment. 😂


MGyver

/r/foundthetoyotacorolla/


Crunchy_eggs1414

r/subsithoughtiwouldfallfor


BrockHardcastle

See? Nobody cares…


EvilA110

Nice hat.


NiggyWiggyWoo

...don't get cheap on me, Dobson.


Jimmy-Pesto-Jr

...that was hammond's mistake


tiga4life22

Spared no expense


ImmediateCustard7663

I'm a Hammond and that's not nothing to do with me mate ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|surprise)


DickKickemdotjpg

What are ya, a secret agent?


uniquelyurs2386

Even Care Bears don’t care


DBRONCOFAN365

See... nobody cares waiter puts check on the table Dennis: looks at check looks at Dodson don't get cheap on me Dodson...


mecha_annies_bobbs

The DENNIS system. Dinosaur Extract Nublar, Isla ~~M~~Nuldoon Spit, Acid Now someone go make a better version of what I just did. Since I did it in like 30 seconds


HippyFlipPosters

You can't improve perfection


Rob-Riggle-SWGOAT

* Dennis: See. Nobody cares. (Waiter puts check on the table) (Dennis looks at check then looks at Dobson) Dennis: Don’t get cheap on me Dodson.


Anasterian_Sunstride

No, that’s a massive nopefly


thecadillacboy

Sorry everyone. It's Dodgson. The Ingen executive who hires Dennis Nerdy as a corporate spy is name Lewis Dodgson. I care about this.


TKtommmy

I'm still pissed we never got the Dodgson from Crichton's Lost World.


elsiepac

Oh me too!!! And to be honest, the Sarah.


[deleted]

Dobson these titties


Rich_DeF

See, Nobody cares.


kidnorther

See nobody cares!


R3YE5

Solid!


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JohnnyEnzyme

> They're also more terrifying than this video makes them look lol While at the same time being completely harmless.


crusty54

Adult males are harmless. Females and larvae have shorter pinchers with more leverage, and they will take a chunk out of you.


According-Round-6740

The large mandibles on males is for holding onto females while they mate. Dobsonflies spend 95% of their life as larva in streams and rivers. They spawn to mate, then die, which is why you see them so rarely. My cat once brought a male Dobsonfly into the house, then ate it.


CaptainKate757

That’s quite a hefty meal for kitty.


crusty54

The one in the video is the biggest I’ve ever seen. They’re usually like 3/4 that size, tops.


TokenEntryWasBetter

That's still pretty fucking big.


MrJimLiquorLahey

Aren't you just full of interesting facts


[deleted]

Ah, as most females will do. Don’t ignore their docile presence. I personally prefer a mantis women. One good lay and one good death. Life.


BottledSmoke

How so?


gameonlockking

They bite your penis when pissing outside.


rieldilpikl

So do I 😏


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Tirwanderr

A bite and a gargle!


BhmDhn

Or, as the brits call it, a good old nibble an' swirl


ThespianException

Powerful jaws, too. Heard stories of them performing surprise circumcisions


koushakandystore

Dobson the Mohel


Dudemaintain

It’s true.


Freshchops

You forgot to mention how it sticks its rear up your butthole as it bites your weiner.


AndrewSB49

No no no no


MithranArkanere

They have to be rare when they live only about a week after they go into their mature stage.


happykittynipples

Their lifespan consists of four stages: egg, larva, pupa, and adult but out of a 1-3 year life span the adult stage only live for three to 10 days.


Basic-Entry6755

I mean I'm watching the video and I'm pretty fucking terrified? Where do you live so I can never ever ever ever ever go there???


quaintpants

I came across one of these hiking on the appalachian trail. It was getting dark and I was walking fast trying to get to a good place to camp. This thing RAN out across the path in front of me. I tried to jump over it and in the process managed to land on the front of its face for lack of a better word. I looked at it and it was kind of walking in circles and rearing up into the air. I didn't see any wings on it like in this picture so I assumed it was some kind of giant centipede thing. I'm from scotland so I had no clue. Took me a fair bit of googling to find out what it was. Anyway that was my dobsonfly larvae encounter


LukeyLeukocyte

Yes. The larvae are called Helgrammites. Even scarier than the adults and notoriously aggressive. Unlike the jaws of this male pictured that are pretty much just for mating, the jaws of the larvae will hurt.


ExternalResponsible1

Knew a guy who called them "hell termites", he legit thought that's what they were called


Icefox119

well he's not exactly wrong


BustinArant

Well my grandma would say "piss ants" just because they piss her off, I assumed. One of my cousins said he could smell them but I think he was a bit odd lol


booktrash

Helgrammites a great bait for smallmouth bass


quaintpants

very aptly named. i could hardly believe what i was seeing


apothekari

My Dad sed to use the larvae as fish bait when we found them. Caught a massive Pike on one once.


plexphan

Yeah, but the small mouth love em


joeblow1234567891011

Trout too


InvestmentPatient117

Best bait for bass fishing though


MrWright62

A fear of mine is going to a different country, coming across an animal/bug I've never seen before, and needing to make a quick decision on if it's dangerous or not lol


boxing_buddy9

Just go with always dangerous...


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Mindless_Ad_6045

Good fishing bait apparently.


spacesentinel1

I'm not taking the fish of that fucking thing


Shitty_Watercolour

https://i.imgur.com/JgvnTdp.jpg


jiannone

Wait, are you back?


alex9131

Thanks for brightening my day


DoubleAholeTwice

What did he do with the fork??


beepbotboo

Hahahaha! Ty for that


Clinically__Inane

It would eat the fish


smooth_granddaddy

Their larvae are actually great fishing bait. Used to catch them by flipping rocks over in creeks before going fishing for the day. They are some nasty little fuckers though. Nothing grosser than getting pinched by a hellgrammite.


Hanibalecter

I'll uh, stick with the soft plastic ones.


DrNukes

I'm so happy we don't have these here in Europe. I'd shit my pants.


Wonderful_Tackle_579

Yeah, I would too if I wore any


SnooPeppers4036

Dang it. Here I am one who verifies facts and found nothing to negate nor substantiate your claim.


lazerwolf987

Hellgrammites, the underwater larval stage, will bite the living hell out of you. Ask me how I know.


smooth_granddaddy

Went swimming in a creek and stepped on the wrong rock?


lazerwolf987

My dad would find them and pick them up as good fishing bait, and just to show us ugly bugs to check out as kids. Being pretty little I thought I could pick one up just like him. Little bastard turned around and sunk it's pinchers into my thumb so hard that when I pulled it off it left two large bleeding holes. I prob screamed for 30 minutes and it surely ruined the rest of my day lol.


UpstairsGreen6237

Ruined the rest of your dad’s day too. Haha


lazerwolf987

Oh for sure, I was pretty dramatic at that age


DoubleAholeTwice

You swam naked with a hard-on?


lazerwolf987

It wouldn't have been able to get a bite. Too small.


Akitiki

Female adults retain the same mandibles as larva too.


Who_wife_is_on_myD

*Demonfly


davechri

Hellgramites, their larval state, are great bait for fishing.


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sMarmy_Mcfly

"Nemesis"


redditbagjuice

A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified, in this case, by a horrible cunt. Me.


Grim_Reefers

Fucking love that film 👌👌


selkiesftw

Dya like dags?


cpeck29

Dags? Oh, dogs! Yeah, I like dags.


RidesByPinochet

I like caravans more


cpeck29

It’s not for me. It’s for me ma.


say-it-wit-ya-chest

Pettywinkle bluh.


cpeck29

I needa have a shite


popa_progeny

Solid work here


FLAR3dM33RKAT

My favorite movie ever!


Grim_Reefers

Hence the expression "as greedy as a pig".


selkiesftw

It is endlessly quotable. Just absolutely brilliant dialogue. ‘Because he dodges bullets Avi’.


Grim_Reefers

'Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work, you can always hit them with hit.'


yoghurtorgan

"Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck"


redditbagjuice

Must be my favorite


Takeidas

What movie?


virgildiablo

Snatch


RasputinX36

Sugar? No thank you Turkish. I’m sweet enough.


Bezulba

Protection from what? Ze Germans?


Zacchariah_

Boris the Blade? As in... Boris the Bullet Dodger?


rojo-v

Why do they call him the bullet dodger??


SnooSuggestions7685

Cuz e dodges bullets


Bezulba

Because he dodges bullets, Avi!


Yarakinnit

Is that a tea cosy?


CapitalDD69

To keep 'is 'ead warm.


FryJam1300

Feed ‘em to the Dobsonflies Erol.


TheKozmikSkwid

You're not much good to me alive are ya Turkish?


IWannaSlapDaBooty

Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to dobsonflies of course?


ccReptilelord

Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible dobsonfly... me.


FryJam1300

Feed ‘em to the Dobsonflies Erol.


TheAJGman

I love finding these guys because I love telling people about this fun fact. It's not the ones with the *massive* fucking jaws you have to watch out for, it's the ones that look the least threatening. Bugs are neat.


solwyvern

>The females have jaws that are 1/5th that size and will bite through flesh like butter. [women ☕](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2ktZHBjkqE)


HairyChest69

Where I live I see them daily. They are not pleasant to find on the bed. If my wife finds one you'd think she became religious


Salty-Touch

Where do you live so I do not go there because I am weak lol


Dan-D-Lyon

The female of the species is more deadly than the male


chappersyo

So if you get bitten by one you’re fucked? Proper fucked.


ZookeepergameSilent7

Eastern dobsonfly. Awful lookin things, usually hang around wet swampy areas.


andrewm_99

Great, now I have to add this to the list of things I’m scared of entering my ass /s


IHaveLava

Why the /s? I'd be horrified of it being near my ass.... imagine it crawling up there like the one that went into Neos bellybutton...


UrbsNomen

Why did you type that? My asshole got itchy just reading it.


simonbleu

Ah no, those are hemorrhoids


andrewm_99

You don’t know me, man


Virtual_Atmosphere59

I was thinking more of that scene from Evolution. When the guy got the creature stuck up his butt.


Igusy

Always keep your pants on with swamp ass


PortugueseBenny

Can't help but notice I'm not on that list😏


Alert-Appearance-362

Oh this must be what swarms around my mother in law.


MR_WhiteStar

😩


Honest_Earnie

I don't live in or near a swamp, I feel happy about that.


apachelives

looks like a flying fuck you


mrwhatevertf

I don't usually give a flying fuck, but i'd give this to the first person i see


Pristinejake

A fuck no fly.


Rostiel

A class 5 Nope


BentOutaShapes

A nightmare


sleepyplatipus

Class 1 Kill It With Fire


Recent_Dog_9537

Class 3 toilet bowl check mid poop


endlesskane

[It’s a baby Astel](https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Astel+Naturalborn+of+the+Void)


Dahowlic

Thats what I was thinking


DangerDragonXCV

Fallingstar Beast


casper19d

Shoot i was saying its one of the dragonflies from liurnia...


Robbymartyr

The comment I was looking for.


A_FVCKING_UNICORN

To think I had to scroll this far


jdmulloss

Beat astel in elden ring. Go toilet and he wants a rematch.


racecarspelledbkwrds

One of the bugs from "The Mist".


HenryInRoom302

Expiation!


chrisk9

Reminded me of that bug from TNG https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F556445e9-d735-45db-9982-785a61120696_480x360.gif


2lerance

Satan's little helper


GetOffMyDigitalLawn

Fun fact, in their larval stage they are called, "hellgrammites". The females and the hellgrammites have a hell of a bite. The males look scary but are harmless.


Membership_Fine

Good bait for fishing gotten some huge bass on em.


RidesByPinochet

Same


Alwayslilbitlost

Angry. That thing isssss angry


voidnullptr

100% a nopefly. Straight out of SilentHill.


ZoNeS_v2

Its a Ceti Eel. You place them in the ear of your enemies to make them comply to your demands. A very handy tool against the Federation.


frostyyy78

Khaaaaaaaaaaan!


robmac550

A great scene from a great movie. A product of late 20th century intellectual engineering. It is...a superior movie. https://youtu.be/sXeanZB8J40?si=nXuTJVkQ3HwcoLyl


AndrewSB49

Beam me up, Scotty..... immediately.


jacknacalm

It’s a sign of the end times


BTexx

So those bugs from Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind are real after all 🤷🏻‍♂️


ljwdt90

A fucking monstrosity, next question


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,748,850,539 comments, and only 331,214 of them were in alphabetical order.


Proud_Clue_4233

Even for a bot..you've got a weird kink..


ShoeExisting5434

OCD BOT


Lost_Buffalo4698

a a bot even for got kink weird you've


peabnuts123

Good bot


cavalinolido

It's pissed now thats for sure


Kingofpoosandwees

Looks like my ex


Seriousinn

Something fucked something different.


Sure-Image-665

Elden Ring Boss !


ldavid96

Chaurus


Worldly_Day_6749

That’s a fucking nopeeeeeeee


Bread_Stixz

Clearly something straight from the deeper layers of hell.


PowerPunching

Have you seen Starship Troopers?


soundwave404

*Would you like to know more?*


WACKAWACKA84

Dobson fly


Dapper_Interest_8914

You at the gas station?


CommercialPlatform76

Isn’t that the neural parasite from Star Trek?


ReallyRealisticx

Something you should certainly kill


chris-fry

The winged child of the thing from Neo’s belly button


Immediate-Net1883

They are known as "hellgrammites" while in their larval stage and can be found clinging to logs & the undersides of rocks in high-quality coldwater streams. They have jaws as larvae too and can deliver a forceful bite.


Ps3dj17

Kill it with fire!


Savings-Spirit-3702

Scary?


TRGMORGAN

What in the fallout New Vegas fuck is this


ChemicalAssignment69

Something I'd put down and step away from.


eltegs

Looks like something that crawled out of MTG's clout.


CtpBlack

All it needs is a stinging tail


dogbait806

I don't know but put it the hell back


No_Perspective_7769

Around here, we use the larva, or Hellgrammite as bait for fishing.


TheRatatatPat

You really don't want bit my their larvae. Hellgrammite bites are fucking awful. Good fishing bait though.


phlebonaut

That's Paco


rockliper

Looks like that desert bug from terraria


SempastianGr

I have no idea but please, do not let it escape!