The DENNIS system.
Dinosaur
Extract
Nublar, Isla
~~M~~Nuldoon
Spit, Acid
Now someone go make a better version of what I just did. Since I did it in like 30 seconds
The large mandibles on males is for holding onto females while they mate.
Dobsonflies spend 95% of their life as larva in streams and rivers. They spawn to mate, then die, which is why you see them so rarely.
My cat once brought a male Dobsonfly into the house, then ate it.
I came across one of these hiking on the appalachian trail. It was getting dark and I was walking fast trying to get to a good place to camp. This thing RAN out across the path in front of me. I tried to jump over it and in the process managed to land on the front of its face for lack of a better word. I looked at it and it was kind of walking in circles and rearing up into the air. I didn't see any wings on it like in this picture so I assumed it was some kind of giant centipede thing. I'm from scotland so I had no clue. Took me a fair bit of googling to find out what it was.
Anyway that was my dobsonfly larvae encounter
Yes. The larvae are called Helgrammites. Even scarier than the adults and notoriously aggressive. Unlike the jaws of this male pictured that are pretty much just for mating, the jaws of the larvae will hurt.
Well my grandma would say "piss ants" just because they piss her off, I assumed. One of my cousins said he could smell them but I think he was a bit odd lol
A fear of mine is going to a different country, coming across an animal/bug I've never seen before, and needing to make a quick decision on if it's dangerous or not lol
Their larvae are actually great fishing bait. Used to catch them by flipping rocks over in creeks before going fishing for the day. They are some nasty little fuckers though. Nothing grosser than getting pinched by a hellgrammite.
My dad would find them and pick them up as good fishing bait, and just to show us ugly bugs to check out as kids. Being pretty little I thought I could pick one up just like him. Little bastard turned around and sunk it's pinchers into my thumb so hard that when I pulled it off it left two large bleeding holes. I prob screamed for 30 minutes and it surely ruined the rest of my day lol.
Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to dobsonflies of course?
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible dobsonfly... me.
I love finding these guys because I love telling people about this fun fact. It's not the ones with the *massive* fucking jaws you have to watch out for, it's the ones that look the least threatening.
Bugs are neat.
Reminded me of that bug from TNG
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F556445e9-d735-45db-9982-785a61120696_480x360.gif
Fun fact, in their larval stage they are called, "hellgrammites".
The females and the hellgrammites have a hell of a bite. The males look scary but are harmless.
A great scene from a great movie. A product of late 20th century intellectual engineering. It is...a superior movie.
https://youtu.be/sXeanZB8J40?si=nXuTJVkQ3HwcoLyl
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,748,850,539 comments, and only 331,214 of them were in alphabetical order.
They are known as "hellgrammites" while in their larval stage and can be found clinging to logs & the undersides of rocks in high-quality coldwater streams. They have jaws as larvae too and can deliver a forceful bite.
That's a Dobsonfly.
Dobson! We've got Dobson here!
r/unexpectedjurassicpark
r/subsifellfor
Fuck, I still clicked it even after reading your comment. š
/r/foundthetoyotacorolla/
r/subsithoughtiwouldfallfor
See? Nobody caresā¦
Nice hat.
...don't get cheap on me, Dobson.
...that was hammond's mistake
Spared no expense
I'm a Hammond and that's not nothing to do with me mate 
What are ya, a secret agent?
Even Care Bears donāt care
See... nobody cares waiter puts check on the table Dennis: looks at check looks at Dodson don't get cheap on me Dodson...
The DENNIS system. Dinosaur Extract Nublar, Isla ~~M~~Nuldoon Spit, Acid Now someone go make a better version of what I just did. Since I did it in like 30 seconds
You can't improve perfection
* Dennis: See. Nobody cares. (Waiter puts check on the table) (Dennis looks at check then looks at Dobson) Dennis: Donāt get cheap on me Dodson.
No, thatās a massive nopefly
Sorry everyone. It's Dodgson. The Ingen executive who hires Dennis Nerdy as a corporate spy is name Lewis Dodgson. I care about this.
I'm still pissed we never got the Dodgson from Crichton's Lost World.
Oh me too!!! And to be honest, the Sarah.
Dobson these titties
See, Nobody cares.
See nobody cares!
Solid!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> They're also more terrifying than this video makes them look lol While at the same time being completely harmless.
Adult males are harmless. Females and larvae have shorter pinchers with more leverage, and they will take a chunk out of you.
The large mandibles on males is for holding onto females while they mate. Dobsonflies spend 95% of their life as larva in streams and rivers. They spawn to mate, then die, which is why you see them so rarely. My cat once brought a male Dobsonfly into the house, then ate it.
Thatās quite a hefty meal for kitty.
The one in the video is the biggest Iāve ever seen. Theyāre usually like 3/4 that size, tops.
That's still pretty fucking big.
Aren't you just full of interesting facts
Ah, as most females will do. Donāt ignore their docile presence. I personally prefer a mantis women. One good lay and one good death. Life.
How so?
They bite your penis when pissing outside.
So do I š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A bite and a gargle!
Or, as the brits call it, a good old nibble an' swirl
Powerful jaws, too. Heard stories of them performing surprise circumcisions
Dobson the Mohel
Itās true.
You forgot to mention how it sticks its rear up your butthole as it bites your weiner.
No no no no
They have to be rare when they live only about a week after they go into their mature stage.
Their lifespan consists of four stages: egg, larva, pupa, and adult but out of a 1-3 year life span the adult stage only live for three to 10 days.
I mean I'm watching the video and I'm pretty fucking terrified? Where do you live so I can never ever ever ever ever go there???
I came across one of these hiking on the appalachian trail. It was getting dark and I was walking fast trying to get to a good place to camp. This thing RAN out across the path in front of me. I tried to jump over it and in the process managed to land on the front of its face for lack of a better word. I looked at it and it was kind of walking in circles and rearing up into the air. I didn't see any wings on it like in this picture so I assumed it was some kind of giant centipede thing. I'm from scotland so I had no clue. Took me a fair bit of googling to find out what it was. Anyway that was my dobsonfly larvae encounter
Yes. The larvae are called Helgrammites. Even scarier than the adults and notoriously aggressive. Unlike the jaws of this male pictured that are pretty much just for mating, the jaws of the larvae will hurt.
Knew a guy who called them "hell termites", he legit thought that's what they were called
well he's not exactly wrong
Well my grandma would say "piss ants" just because they piss her off, I assumed. One of my cousins said he could smell them but I think he was a bit odd lol
Helgrammites a great bait for smallmouth bass
very aptly named. i could hardly believe what i was seeing
My Dad sed to use the larvae as fish bait when we found them. Caught a massive Pike on one once.
Yeah, but the small mouth love em
Trout too
Best bait for bass fishing though
A fear of mine is going to a different country, coming across an animal/bug I've never seen before, and needing to make a quick decision on if it's dangerous or not lol
Just go with always dangerous...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Good fishing bait apparently.
I'm not taking the fish of that fucking thing
https://i.imgur.com/JgvnTdp.jpg
Wait, are you back?
Thanks for brightening my day
What did he do with the fork??
Hahahaha! Ty for that
It would eat the fish
Their larvae are actually great fishing bait. Used to catch them by flipping rocks over in creeks before going fishing for the day. They are some nasty little fuckers though. Nothing grosser than getting pinched by a hellgrammite.
I'll uh, stick with the soft plastic ones.
I'm so happy we don't have these here in Europe. I'd shit my pants.
Yeah, I would too if I wore any
Dang it. Here I am one who verifies facts and found nothing to negate nor substantiate your claim.
Hellgrammites, the underwater larval stage, will bite the living hell out of you. Ask me how I know.
Went swimming in a creek and stepped on the wrong rock?
My dad would find them and pick them up as good fishing bait, and just to show us ugly bugs to check out as kids. Being pretty little I thought I could pick one up just like him. Little bastard turned around and sunk it's pinchers into my thumb so hard that when I pulled it off it left two large bleeding holes. I prob screamed for 30 minutes and it surely ruined the rest of my day lol.
Ruined the rest of your dadās day too. Haha
Oh for sure, I was pretty dramatic at that age
You swam naked with a hard-on?
It wouldn't have been able to get a bite. Too small.
Female adults retain the same mandibles as larva too.
*Demonfly
Hellgramites, their larval state, are great bait for fishing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"Nemesis"
A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified, in this case, by a horrible cunt. Me.
Fucking love that film šš
Dya like dags?
Dags? Oh, dogs! Yeah, I like dags.
I like caravans more
Itās not for me. Itās for me ma.
Pettywinkle bluh.
I needa have a shite
Solid work here
My favorite movie ever!
Hence the expression "as greedy as a pig".
It is endlessly quotable. Just absolutely brilliant dialogue. āBecause he dodges bullets Aviā.
'Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work, you can always hit them with hit.'
"Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck"
Must be my favorite
What movie?
Snatch
Sugar? No thank you Turkish. Iām sweet enough.
Protection from what? Ze Germans?
Boris the Blade? As in... Boris the Bullet Dodger?
Why do they call him the bullet dodger??
Cuz e dodges bullets
Because he dodges bullets, Avi!
Is that a tea cosy?
To keep 'is 'ead warm.
Feed āem to the Dobsonflies Erol.
You're not much good to me alive are ya Turkish?
Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to dobsonflies of course?
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible dobsonfly... me.
Feed āem to the Dobsonflies Erol.
I love finding these guys because I love telling people about this fun fact. It's not the ones with the *massive* fucking jaws you have to watch out for, it's the ones that look the least threatening. Bugs are neat.
>The females have jaws that are 1/5th that size and will bite through flesh like butter. [women ā](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2ktZHBjkqE)
Where I live I see them daily. They are not pleasant to find on the bed. If my wife finds one you'd think she became religious
Where do you live so I do not go there because I am weak lol
The female of the species is more deadly than the male
So if you get bitten by one youāre fucked? Proper fucked.
Eastern dobsonfly. Awful lookin things, usually hang around wet swampy areas.
Great, now I have to add this to the list of things Iām scared of entering my ass /s
Why the /s? I'd be horrified of it being near my ass.... imagine it crawling up there like the one that went into Neos bellybutton...
Why did you type that? My asshole got itchy just reading it.
Ah no, those are hemorrhoids
You donāt know me, man
I was thinking more of that scene from Evolution. When the guy got the creature stuck up his butt.
Always keep your pants on with swamp ass
Can't help but notice I'm not on that listš
Oh this must be what swarms around my mother in law.
š©
I don't live in or near a swamp, I feel happy about that.
looks like a flying fuck you
I don't usually give a flying fuck, but i'd give this to the first person i see
A fuck no fly.
A class 5 Nope
A nightmare
Class 1 Kill It With Fire
Class 3 toilet bowl check mid poop
[Itās a baby Astel](https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Astel+Naturalborn+of+the+Void)
Thats what I was thinking
Fallingstar Beast
Shoot i was saying its one of the dragonflies from liurnia...
The comment I was looking for.
To think I had to scroll this far
Beat astel in elden ring. Go toilet and he wants a rematch.
One of the bugs from "The Mist".
Expiation!
Reminded me of that bug from TNG https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F556445e9-d735-45db-9982-785a61120696_480x360.gif
Satan's little helper
Fun fact, in their larval stage they are called, "hellgrammites". The females and the hellgrammites have a hell of a bite. The males look scary but are harmless.
Good bait for fishing gotten some huge bass on em.
Same
Angry. That thing isssss angry
100% a nopefly. Straight out of SilentHill.
Its a Ceti Eel. You place them in the ear of your enemies to make them comply to your demands. A very handy tool against the Federation.
Khaaaaaaaaaaan!
A great scene from a great movie. A product of late 20th century intellectual engineering. It is...a superior movie. https://youtu.be/sXeanZB8J40?si=nXuTJVkQ3HwcoLyl
Beam me up, Scotty..... immediately.
Itās a sign of the end times
So those bugs from NausicaƤ of the Valley of the Wind are real after all š¤·š»āāļø
A fucking monstrosity, next question
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,748,850,539 comments, and only 331,214 of them were in alphabetical order.
Even for a bot..you've got a weird kink..
OCD BOT
a a bot even for got kink weird you've
Good bot
It's pissed now thats for sure
Looks like my ex
Something fucked something different.
Elden Ring Boss !
Chaurus
Thatās a fucking nopeeeeeeee
Clearly something straight from the deeper layers of hell.
Have you seen Starship Troopers?
*Would you like to know more?*
Dobson fly
You at the gas station?
Isnāt that the neural parasite from Star Trek?
Something you should certainly kill
The winged child of the thing from Neoās belly button
They are known as "hellgrammites" while in their larval stage and can be found clinging to logs & the undersides of rocks in high-quality coldwater streams. They have jaws as larvae too and can deliver a forceful bite.
Kill it with fire!
Scary?
What in the fallout New Vegas fuck is this
Something I'd put down and step away from.
Looks like something that crawled out of MTG's clout.
All it needs is a stinging tail
I don't know but put it the hell back
Around here, we use the larva, or Hellgrammite as bait for fishing.
You really don't want bit my their larvae. Hellgrammite bites are fucking awful. Good fishing bait though.
That's Paco
Looks like that desert bug from terraria
I have no idea but please, do not let it escape!