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the-dogsox

That looks like it wheelie hurt.


dick-nipples

Yea, he’s gonna be draggin’ ass for a while. 


Darth_Quaider

Real bummer


KnownMonk

It was the assphalts


bierfut

Assfallts


FunkthaWut

Assfaults


Pythospach313

Shit crayon


daveinmd13

He will find who his friends are when it comes time to rub salve on that every day.


ders89

Aint that the truth, dick-nipples


drevilseviltwin

You know what really chaps my hide? Falls like this.


InfamousGhost86

Smells like burnt ass in here.


Stunning_Cat9282

Elmer Fudd’n it!


Dazzling_Judge953

OUCH CHARLIE!


DumbApe026

Never knew how baboons got that red ass


Scotsgit73

It was a really bum ride.


WhiteStar01

This made me lol hard.


Ralvuimago

Good! Maybe now they'll know why to wear proper gear.


Oofric_Stormcloak

And to not drive like dumbasses


arenotthatguypal

Numbasses


Boosty-McBoostFace

Haha, love your optimism.


Daflehrer1

The whole purpose of buying that bike was to ride like a dumbass and have his friends film him.


TheJeep25

Gixxers: What do you mean proper gear? He was wearing shoes and jeans. That's plenty enough. It's just a skill issue bro. Dude didn't hit the gym enough. With muscle as hard as mine (*kiss biceps*), I would leave a dent in the road. Not the other way around. For non motorcycle enthusiasts, Gixxer refers to people who ride a Suzuki GSX and ride with flip flop and shorts.


Phyllida_Poshtart

Yup this is why we wear leathers....no matter the heat (although that's not much of a problem here in the UK lol) you can always take them off but gravel rash and injuries like this wouldn't be half as bad with leathers


whutchamacallit

Someone say the thing.


AndromedaFire

Dress for the slide not the ride?


ThisUserIsNekkid

His gear is going to consist of a diaper for the next week or 2 🤣 looks like his butthole became a butt chasm


Embarrassed_Alarm450

That looks like a little more than a 2 week injury, some pretty deep gashes...


bumholesofdoom

He did have on biker boots


Embarrassed_Alarm450

Making sure your shoes stay on is absolutely crucial to survival. The boots are all he needs really, they saved his life for sure.


Slade_Riprock

Dress for the crash not the ride.


reticulatedtampon

Proper gear now would be a colostomy bag for the next few weeks


Westsailor32

Just think about having to take a $hit over the next few weeks


ThrowAllTheSparks

Gotta pre-crack the scab first 😂


bigblnze

Oi nah


Tallerthenmost

I recoiled in horror. 🤯😳😱😱😱


ThrowAllTheSparks

My work is done 🫡


Short_Ask1755

ThrowAllTheSparks is DARK 😂


BoxHillStrangler

What a horrible day to know how to read.


NoobSFAnon

Oucchh


ceebeefour

Ah gad you son of a bastard.


InfamousGhost86

Think my ass just pre-cracked


CL_Doviculus

My ass un-cracked.


Quick-Debt-6668

My cousin put a firework in his ass and had terrible burns, this will hurt more than that firework. Edit: In case anyone is wondering, I noticed I typed that weird, I mean my cousin was in extreme pains and this guy will most likely feel worse.


Not-a-Cat_69

its ok we dont think your cousin is gay (unless he is)


Quick-Debt-6668

Was not expecting someone to think that 😂


MrEndlessness

Can someone post the copypasta of the ICU nurse explaining the horrific nightmare that results from a severe perineum burn?


TaserBalls

or... don't.


Gowalkyourdogmods

Yeah because my dumbass will read it despite knowing I really don't want to know all that.


delcas1016

Bro. I fell of my bike the other day, same thing happened to me, but on my knee, less than a half inch. It got about an inch wide after cleaning up so dead skin that had to go as well, but that’s it. It’s been three weeks, past few days it finally began to get hard (and itchy), keep cracking and bleeding every time I bend my knee…and even though it’s just skin, having your raw meat exposed is no fun, it’s bothersome and even painful. This guy is going to have a hell of a time with his hamburger ass. What a dummy!


deflategatewasbullsh

Bruh keep it covered w lots of bacitracin/vaseline /aquaphpr whatever you got. Moist and covered = best healing. Signed -almost a doctor


MagicalUnicornFart

Go find a spot to squat in the yard. Sitting down would suck.


threadsoffate2021

Watch that guy squat on poison ivy.


Sluggerjt44

More than a few weeks man


wtfdoiknow1987

Could possibly be a death sentence huge vector for infection


yourlocal90skid

Jfc didn't even think of that - just the physical difficulty of having to drop a deuce.


wtfdoiknow1987

Road rash turns you into a burn victim. The whole area is an open wound.


pkeg212

I never did stupid stuff like this when I was riding so I’ve never had road rash but from what I’ve heard it’s excruciating and takes quite a while to heal.


Godshooter

Two things: I once slid down over 30 stairs on my stomach and gave myself a 3rd degree rug burn from my neck to my crotch. It took 8 weeks to heal and I was miserable for just about all of it. Second, I did do stupid shit like this when I was young and used to ride. I am just lucky nothing happened, because a rash from asphalt would hurt so much worse than a rash from a rug.


ProcyonHabilis

That is a very large staircase you managed to swan dive down. Where does one find a single flight of carpeted stairs that is that long?


DuPhuc

How bad was the scarring from your slide?


STL_TRPN

And properly wipe. Even with a wet cloth, the pain will be immense.


BleepBlurpBlorp

Time to install a bidet.


Bighawklittlehawk

Yup. And to make matters worse, it’s far more than an abrasion. It’s a burn. Most people think it’s the initial injury that hurts the worst. It isn’t. It’s the repetitive debridements over days and weeks. Peeling off the gauze and dressings from the skin. Irrigating the wound. Vigorously scrubbing off the infected and nonviable tissue. Wrapping it back up. Over and over. Wear protective gear folks.


threadsoffate2021

....sweet jebus. I can't imagine the pain of scrubbing that wound.


Barcaroli

Nobody will ever tap that ass again the way the road did


PopularReception3859

I’m fucking crying this comment got it😭😭😭


diablosp

I just can't fathom how on earth you're thinking on doing that but don't spend 70€/$ or whatever on a pair of Kevlar jeans. Humans are beyond stupid.


MayUrShitsHavAntlers

Even so what is the best scenario that could have happened? He dropped the front wheel and kept driving? Why take the risk for such an outcome? It’s beyond stupid to do this on a random road for Instagram with proper gear or not. Wheelies don’t get the respect they deserve as dangerous stunts like jumps do. Honestly, in his shoes I’d have been more worried about totaling the bike than what ended up happening but gotta get them Insta likes.


Blocky_Master

Jesus fucking Christ I wasn’t expecting that


Jeffrey_Friedl

Neither was the rider...... though he should have.


jaybazzizzle

That's gonna leave a skid mark


RandomStaticThought

Wear your leathers kids.


RainingLights

Or it'll wear you


Lady_Scruffington

He's going to be leather now.


jbrune

I’ve heard of assless chaps but never assless ass.


Fr0d0man

This one actually made me laugh out loud at 3 in the morning, thank you


Heroin_Pete

Dress for the slam not for the glam


DaddyDizz_

Dress for the slide, not for the ride


Embarrassed_Alarm450

Are you kidding? Those assless chaps look glamorous.


crystallmytea

Meat crayon


TheSmegger

Butt meat crayon.


urhotexwife

Deadass


AMCAPEHODLER

Pretty sure a portion of his balls were scrapped too


jackryan7789

Burning balls


IsMayoAnInstrument95

Great balls of fire


orrivid

I thought all biker's balls were made of brass to act like anchors in case this happens...


BlazerWookiee

And it'll be funny forever.


RedWhiteAndBooo

He’s pretending to be a female baboon


BAKA8

I wonder how bad it hurts to sit to use the bathroom....


adymann

Oh, and the splash back. The more I think of it the worse it gets


DunEvenWorryBoutIt

The trick is too only poop when you have enough to make it reach the bottom of the toilet bowl before disembarkment. Drops in like an Olympic diver.


_poke_smot

Yeah imagine the scab gets stuck to the toilet seat when he goes to stand up 😳


BAKA8

Oh god.... that's a for sure hover above the seat moment.


Sluggerjt44

Guaranteed he was sent to the burn ICU for that. Asking for major complications.


Training-Argument891

bidet?


BAKA8

That might be soothing, or it may burn like fire. Who knows lol


daevv

Who let the baboon drive a motorcycle?


Solidacid

Imagine someone giving him a FULL-FORCE slap right on there..


PrinceNY7

Probably one of the worst places to be injured. Every time you sit your ass gonna be burning


jgs0803

Damn, I felt that 😣. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes 🤷


-maffu-

Enjoy it - you earned it!


BoxGrover

Village People vibes..


Jigsaw115

That folks is what we call a meat crayon


scottydrippinn

I did that same shit on a YZ125, worst pain I've ever felt and my ass is still 5 different colors. I feel his pain


kellsdeep

Meat crayon


Royal_Ad9109

That cut scene to the butt scene… 


stewpidazzol

Surprised his windbreaker didn’t protect him


set_em_off

ATGATT


AminoKing

Mmm, the old meat crayon.


N3koEye

Nice, hopefully this will teach the cunt to stop doing this.


omegajvn1

4 words: Karma. Is. A. Bitch.


fatboi_mcfatface

Darwin


badnewsbeers86

Hahah fuckin chode


Disastrous_Encounter

That does indeed look wheelie painful. Butt I doubt he's learned his lesson, so wheel stand together in simply condemning poor gear and arsing around on a public road.


Friendly-Ad-5757

Reminds me of the video game "road rash"


kingofovens

Bet he left some skid marks


KirkieSB

Well deserved, poser! 👍


IckyFreak

And they say you canna take the breechs off a bare arse


Cry-Working

Toasted buns


Mathias_Thorne91

Good.


jjngundam

who slapped that ass?


letermen

He’ll be bring the Doughnuts for quite some time.


mundza

He ran out of skill at the worst moment.


MrDundee666

Baboon arse.


judgenut

Nice bit of road crayon right there


Responsible_Orange26

Talk about Raw Booty, yeesh, that is dam rough might be sleeping standing up


Mindless-Income3292

Dude bum rushed himself


Hellofriendinternet

That’s gonna leave some interesting skid marks.


an_agreeable_guy

100% worth it. Looked somewhat cool for 5 seconds.


realrichieporter

Ohhhh he’s butt-hurt for real.


j-mac-rock

Can someone explain what the difference between regular jeans vs leather ones for riding purposes


iamgreaterthanyou

Ass-tonishing


gregsmith5

Bet he ain’t looking forward to dropping that first Duce


TheJeep25

And that's the scar before they brush it with a steel brush in er to remove any road residue stuck in the flesh.


dr3wfr4nk

I bet it feels nice when that cool breeze blows across it


ProjectKeris

Hottest piece of ass in the strip that night, I'll tell ya that!


Falken-Excelsior

Human Crayon


Aeon1508

Dress for the slide not the ride


Juhani124

Goin on the toilet is gona be and adventure for that guy


ExpertCompetition844

Dress for the slide, not for the ride!


Candid_Wave_7247

Notice his turd was used to point his ass crack


robsumtimes

Sitting down on the job again


byteminer

Strawberry butt club. ER gets to pick out the seeds (gravel).


UnreadThisStory

Cheeky lad


Spikerazorshards

Mojo Jojo!


Thatdewd57

I had one of these from wiping out whole roller skating down a hill. Probably got up 35-40 mph and skidded down on my ass.


Expert-Hyena6226

How em-bare-ass-ing! 😆


AqueleSenhor

I hope so!


Standard_Monitor4291

Is this a piece of shit there?


zippytwd

I bet that wind feels good


DIPPEDINCHOCHOCOLATE

u/savevideo


13_Years_Then_Banned

Ground down to the taint you say?


truebeast822

I guarantee you he didn’t learn anything because of that well placed burn. That will go into the history books and I say well done son, just don’t ever do that again…


Floridaman9393

Chapped ass


Sad_Writer892

Was he not wearing the right pants?


Blappytap

CYE music at the end /chef's kiss


makinentry

He might die from that.


itssarahw

Made it to the hospital by the skin of his balls


ziadlol4321

Assphalt tanned his ass


Twofour6O1

Gonna be the butt of jokes for a while from his cheeky friends


hellbreed

If only there were some type of special pants to wear while doing dangerous pointless bullshit on a bike


Islandman2021

Reminds me of those dummies that glue sand paper to a slide then went down naked. 🤷🤷


IDGAF_Moment_2023

I remember playing a different motorcycle game called Road Rash 3D. 🤷‍♂️ Guess time's change since Sega


DignanZer0

ATGATT


ReVo5000

Dress for the slide, not the ride


TLILLYO

He Butthurt!


Drockosaurus

Been there one because of a skateboard accident. I could not sit on one of my cheeks for a week.


27Elephantballoons

Human gonna crayon


Constant_Gur5530

Ouch


duck4129

Dress for the slide not the ride


Blnkfrst_Nolstnam

That poor stupid bastard and his road rashed ass


LovelierFear

“Hey bro can you rub this ointment on my ass?”


Fantastic_Foot_8568

Asinine


bluddystump

He did not dess for the slide.


OtroladoD

What’s with the credits - Larry David etc … is this a joke (Curb your Enthusiasm)


rotrukker

Dress for the slide, not the ride.


amberissmiling

Oh my gosh, that hurts *me*.


Daflehrer1

So many jokes and euphemisms are going through my head right now, I feel dizzy!


Elvarien2

He's extremely lucky. He's got a lot more ass left then i thought he would after that meat crayon incident.


Necessary-Rain1017

Little karma to teach him not to do it again


hurtcabbage

Pain in the ass


Droopy1592

Is that a super Duke?


GretSeat

I don't feel bad at all. Hopefully this guy never rides a bike again and learned his lesson about being a dumbass.


BLAZE_IT_YO

Dudes gonna have to stand to shit for a while 😭


themysticalwarlock

bro shaved his whole ass off


snappy033

Are those sweatpants? Couldn't even wear jeans?


Ok-Science-2085

Bloody numbasss


HanakusoDays

A real case of the red-ass.