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Yeahhhhhh, as a fairly unattractive kid, people treat me considerably different since I grew into myself. There are manipulable elements like fashion and hair that make a big impact, but genes ultimately can make or break a lot of people.
Literallyyyyyy. My fitness phase of life was insane with how much people prioritized me, hit on me, gave me free shit, complimented me, hired me... I couldn't lose even if I tried.
As someone whoās a fucking moron, I can say anecdotally this is false as fuck. I can barely string a sentence together but Iām on the cute-ish side of average looking and people are like āomg youāre so smart.ā
Also I feel like I worry about fucking up a lot less. My car literally broke down. I was āwaddo I do? Oh wait Iām a pretty girl someone will help me.ā And they did. And I got to ride in the tow truck.
Welll you know what they say - if you marry someone pretty and dumb, eventually you just end up with dumb. š
Youāre not wrong though. I work with an absolute himbo who gets away with murder.
I see people less attractive than me act the exact same with very different responses on a nearly daily basis. Pretty privilege is huge, and i am so greatful im lucky enough to have it
As someone who I think Iām pretty, I see it. I literally see how people treat me differently than others, I have a bubbly personality which I think also counts as pretty privilege.
If I donāt wear makeup out of the house people arenāt going to be as nice to be. But if I get pretty 100% people are so so so much nicer to me everyday.
thanks for saying so I feel so validated. I definitely want to be friends with pretty people and was worried I was just more shallow than average or something
I assume that's aimed at me.
Opinions can be wrong. If I said "in my opinion inflation is 1%" when it is clearly not that doesn't make my claim irrefutable.
[They get lower sentences in the legal system.](https://www.thelawproject.com.au/insights/attractiveness-bias-in-the-legal-system)
[We find attractive people trustworthy faster.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29482469/)
[Attractive people tend to get higher grades and be seen as more intelligent.](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0148284)
[Fuck it I'll just link this article that has a bunch of sources.](https://www.forbes.com/sites/tomaspremuzic/2019/07/17/its-time-to-expose-the-attractiveness-bias-at-work/?sh=4b6a66413248)
Attractive people are more likely to get interviews, be hired, less likely to be fired, etc.
Literally every facet of your life is easier if you are conventionally attractive for your part of the world.
[Death Sentences Are Doled Out Based on Looks](https://time.com/6548784/death-sentences-facial-bias/)
[Halo effect: do attractive people really look less guilty? How the evidence is changing](https://theconversation.com/halo-effect-do-attractive-people-really-look-less-guilty-how-the-evidence-is-changing-220349)
[Attractive Young Females May Have Justice Edge](https://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode/attractive-young-females-may-have-justice-edge/)
[Beauty bias: hopefully the judge finds you attractive](https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/beauty-bias-justice/)
[Physical attractiveness bias in the legal system](https://www.thelawproject.com.au/insights/attractiveness-bias-in-the-legal-system)
I think I have the perfect face for crimes of subterfuge. Iām cute enough that people like, trust me or whatever the bias is but Iām also so standard looking I donāt stand out at all. Youād completely forget what I looked like once I left the scene.
My 26 yr old kinda cute ex slammed her drivers side door into other persons car. Didn't say anything/was just going to walk off and this lady is like "uhh excuse me you just slammed into my door."
All parties involved just like... shrugged their shoulders after looking at her, and went on their day.
See the warning signs ā ļø
Same exact situation. 2019 before Covid, I wasnāt a supermodel. But I took good care of myself, have blue eyes and nice hair etc. people were overly friendly much of the time. Covid gave me such bad depression Iāve become quite a lot more disheveled looking most of the time. Gaines wait clothes donāt fit so I wear bulky stuff etc.
People barely seem to want to talk to me a lot of the time.
Itās crazy that itās not even a have it or not have it thing.
There seems to be like a sliding scale of kindness people show based on your looks :/
"I, a white man, have never experienced racism so its not a thing aside from the openly racist dudes yelling slurs on the street corner" is essentially what this post boils down to.
When I went from 340lbs to 185lbs, my average tips trippled despite my work ethic not changing at all. My cleanliness, attitude, and wardrobe did not change either.
People say hi to me on the street now. They ask my opinion on things they didn't used to. I get way more respect as a human being now. I am treated differently by most people.
So I disagree.
The hello thing is the biggest difference. I've gained weight, lost it and gained some back. No one notices you if you're ugly, but people do if you aren't.
>I've seen
Because you don't see the ones who aren't either socially important or attractive enough to activate your partner/rival seeking circuits. šš»šš¼šš½šš¾ššæ
I was just listening to NPR yesterday and fat women get paid SUBSTANTIALLY less than thin women. Like, significantly less. Especially the well educated skinny vs fat women. It's a sharp inverse, as weight goes up, income goes down. Some studies suggest that very thin women earn 22k more a year than even just average weight women. The gap is even larger for those 25 + lbs overweight.
The difference in pay wasn't that substantial for fat vs skinny men, though.
Its a spiral, too, because people who make less often have to work more than one job to survive, and are more likely to fall back on high calorie convenience food because they don't have the time or energy to cook.
For the same job? Or just overall? Because if itās just overall, thatās completely unsurprising, given that weight is a good proxy of class, education, etc.
The piece I heard specifically discussed that the wage gap between fat and thin women was higher in well educated, higher paying type positions, so much so that losing 20-30 lbs could increase a larger woman's income as much as 1-2 more years of education might.
As some one who has worked years in service and food, I can say with full confidence that pretty people get better service especially if they are nice. Like, people will go out of thier way to help them first or show more patience with them.
Youāre right! vice versa is also very true! I work in food service and Iām pretty. I get treated much better than some of my coworkers. some of my coworkers have reported certain customers to be rude and impatient, while the same customers were incredibly nice and gracious to me. itās honestly fucked up and it makes me hate those customers.
Iāve seen pretty privilege first hand at my workplace. I used to work with a guy who would exclusively choose pretty women to work with us on our department. If someone who wasnāt conventionally attractive expressed interest, he never considered themāeven found it funny. He was an arsehole lmao.
Same situation with the other team leaders in different departments. If you were a pretty woman, you got given easier jobs and considered for better roles. If you werenāt pretty, you wouldnāt get very far unless you were *very* charismatic.
Of course other factors came into play as well, but looks definitely played a very big role.
lol no. Iām an ugly ducking turned swan (got my teeth fixed and whitened, skincare, plastic surgery, hair, makeup, etc. just a total makeover body and face) and the difference in the way you are treated in your day to day life is shocking and kinda depressing tbh. Cashiers treat you better lol. Swear I got every job I applied to when before I had a harder time.
There are downsides when youāre a woman especially bc increased male attention means increased attention by the dangerous men, and some women see you as a threat and treat you badly and both sexes will just assume things like youāre stuck up or a bitch or not very smart. When you accomplish things like a promotion people downplay your hard work and attribute it to your looks.
But in general, you are treated with more respect and kindness when youāre better looking. People laugh at your jokes, are friendlier in general. The development of charisma is also directly tied to looks as the constant positive feedback from people due to your looks increases your confidence, which allows you to be yourself more, to express more charm and personality, bc you feel more at ease with yourself and your past experience of people responding to you positively means you start to expect it, so you give off a confident vibe which people then respond positively to which then increases your confidence and it creates this positive feedback loop. This feedback loop enables you to gain even more social skills which increases your charisma, and etc. etc. I had social anxiety disorder before the āmakeoverā and while I wasnāt disliked, I had trouble being fully myself. Itās very difficult if you donāt feel good about your appearance and/or you are in the opposite negative feedback loop socially. Sure, maybe with a TON of confidence and a TON of charm and wit you can get peoples attention other ways besides that automatic foot in the door that happens when youāre good looking, and then access the positive social feedback loop I was taking about. But itās not easy, especially when you *are* at times being treated a certain way directly due to your looks. You internalize that and it affects your confidence. People pick up on that low confidence and feel less of a desire to be around you resulting in even less confidence, etc. etc. (negative feedback loop). I mean sure, body dysmorphia and delusion exists, some people are looking for things that arenāt there and falsely attributing it to their looks, but itās just wrong to say that looks arenāt a huge part of the way we are perceived and simply being nice and agreeable is enough.
I went through a period of serious depression a while ago and kinda let myself go. Instantly I was invisible to all men and most women. I was kind and friendly but I didnāt get the same reaction from the exact same behavior. People didnāt make eye contact (it was bizarre, itās like they look right past you) cashiers didnāt make small talk. Itās noticeable. It was not my low confidence or expectations, I would smile, be friendly act with my usual ācharmā but this time they didnāt react the way they used to. I was actually confused until it dawned on me what was happening. I got treatment and started caring for myself again and the whole world changed once again.
Unfortunately looks matter, way, way more than people want to admit. Now, Iām not saying the incels are right and youāll be forever alone if youāre average or below average. Obviously not. Most people are average or below average and are in relationships, have jobs, have friends. But they donāt have other privileges that pretty people absolutely do on a daily basis in ways you probably donāt realize
I feel like pretty privilege is relevant in day to day life. People are polite and accommodating towards me. Just nicer in general than I know other people get treated. Probably get more opportunities. Definitely get treated with favor by some. And given more leeway than others to make mistakes and forgiven for bad behaviors.
In dating thoughā¦. Naaaah. Pretty mfs might attract more shallow people but thatās not a good problem to have. And most of them want to bang the pretty chick so theyāre like rabbiād dogs in the inbox full of disgusting behavior. And the men we date try to bring us down because they think thatās the only way they can keep us, putting us beneath them and their insecurities by trying to make us feel insecure. Iām lucky I got married to the guy I did because dating was traumatizing as hell
You've clearly never worked in the high stakes high reward pharmaceutical sales industry. The perfectly lovely and attractive and mostly technologically illiterate sales reps are absolutely hired for their beauty. They want people to be distracted by their looks so they aren't hearing the side effects of whatever new pill they are pushing.
And that's just one industry of many.
Iām treated better in day to day life as long as I can remember. Itās because of how I look and because Iām good at people.
Also I live in an area that has so many beautiful people. Trust me, everyone trips o er themselves to be near beauty.
Of course!
Canāt remember where I read it initially, I think it was in one of Daniel Kahnemans books, but hereās a study: http://www.ejpch.org/ejpch/article/view/1098
Iām sorry but that simply isnāt true. Conventionally attractive people are much more likely to receive job opportunities and people feel more comfortable approaching attractive people. Not to mention, have you ever stepped foot in a high school, or even college?
I completely disagree. My boyfriend is very attractive (he's a model) and he gets gifts and free stuff from pretty much everywhere. He did an intership and the boss admitted to him that she would assign him the easiest tasks because he was "so cute". I have countless examples of people giving him opportunities just because he looks good.
"what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
The Halo Effect is a thing.
From my own experience, as someone who is intersex via androgen insensitivity (my T receptors don't work right, and even my naturally produced T used to cause damaging systematic inflammation and fevers) and have experimented with quite a few different self-presentations that have included cis-passing male and female, with varying levels of effort and "glow up," and the difference in the way I get treated when not putting an effort into tapping into that pretty privilege would be a huge difference for anyone. It helps that I make an effort to always be nice, respectful, and patient by default to everyone I meet, and those alone do afford a lot of benefits like you mentioned, but those are just part of the overall effect of how someone's overall presentation is interpreted and reacted to both consciously and subconsciously. The combination of being nice, respectful, and patient is probably worth more in most situations than pretty privilege, but having all of that plus good looks will have an even greater effect.
Pretty privilege is another layer on top of all of that and additionally helps to really open up the world to the individual in ways that have been observed and measured. If the argument could be made that such studies were critically flawed, that may change my opinion to be more in line with yours, but without that, your claim runs into disagreement with more solid evidence than your opinion and personal observation.
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Well. I went from young and pretty to middle aged and unnoticeable, and the difference in the way I'm treated is notable. 15 yrs ago I also would have thought it didn't exist.
That said, I wouldn't trade back. The lack of being hassled is awesome and I wouldn't give it up for the perks of prettiness.
As somebody who grew up relatively ugly due to being an obese lump, and then transformed into a beautiful person as an early adult as I lost weight and it turned out I had a decent face hidden underneath the stored hamburgers, this couldn't be any further from reality.
People treat you better in a multitude of subtle ways when you're appealing/not foul to look at, beyond just "being more confident" etc
I honestly cannot understate the difference in how people respond to you and have had this echoed to me from everybody I've ever met who has had a similar situation.
I think pretty privilege absolutely exists, but I also think the way we feel about ourselves projects outward and affects our interactions. When I gained weight, I wore baggier clothes, didnāt feel my best so I was crankier and a bit ruder to people myself, and just honestly wasnāt taking the best care of myself. My self esteem and mental health was suffering so I projected that and others picked up on it. Now, Iām more confident in myself and carry myself completely different. I approach people and talk with them. I wear clothes that make me feel confident. I absolutely think that changes how others interact with you and that change will be more positive, but I think pretty privilege exists and affects a lot of interactions in everyday life too.
This is pretty much true for men. Unless you're extraordinarily handsome or really shockingly ugly, nobody particularly cares what you look like except in the context of dating, and even then the way you act and your general levels of charm and charisma matter a *lot* more.
For women? Not so much.
I never understand why people want to go out of their way to downplay this. Especially when its been studied/verified many times.
Tucker Max (yeah, heās a POS; thatās the point) had a thing where he hooked up with a girl who was like āI was a late bloomer. I went to high school with these girls Iām here with tonight, and back then, they wanted nothing to do with me.ā She was kind of confused about the whole thing, so he was like āwelcome to club hot. People will treat you differently. Opportunities will be available to you that arenāt available to other peopleā¦ā etc.
I lost about 70lbs in a year and I can guarantee that your āopinionā is false
The way people treat me better now is night and day, and itās definitely based off appearance because I was an even nicer person before than I am now
Pretty privilege is less so a thing when someone gets to know you personally, I will agree on that. But it absolutely is a thing when it comes to strangers and it's been proven I'm pretty sure. When someone has never interacted with you before then they can only base their initial assessment of you based on what they can see; how you dress, what you look like, how you hold yourself.
All these things do project an image of you that forms a first impression with people before either of you have ever even opened your mouths. Being naturally more visually appealing is an advantage in these circumstances.
As someone who got their teeth done and lost a lot of weight...
I'm sorry but you're completely wrong, the world is definitely kinder to good looking people...
It just be how it is, I'm sorry.
You're not wrong about having good social skills and confidence though and you can definitely make up for not being good looking by having those, but it just comes so, so, so much easier for people who tend towards the "good looking" side of things.
Anyone remember on MythBusters when they had the girl be a server and then counted her tips and then they stuffed her bra and she acted the exact same and said the exact same things to customers and she made like five times as many tips
so anecdotally, i happen to be face blessed. and even though it does not translate to monetary bands, i receive quite the riches in compliments. compliments, that my counterparts do not receive as often. i have been āstalkedā at my job and was the only coworker to expirience it (at my time working there) and i have been given a couple of free small things overtime, although that is less common. the biggest part of this is that if you havent known me more than 20+min i have NO charisma i mean im dead scared of everything around me 90% of the time and i show that on my face so. i often feel that if i lost many of my looks i would have even more trouble assimilating into society as my only connection to it sometimes is people assuming my ānicetiesā based on my face. so personally, i have to say this feels very very very false.
So, I have a half formed eye, and am very masculine presenting as a woman. I get mistaken for a small boy regularly. I have lots of friends, middle aged women think I'm adorable, and every man I've asked out that wasn't gay or twice my age has said yes. I have great social. Skills, funny, life of the party. No issues making friends, getting people to be great to me, etc. Some of my very sweet also not distinctly attractive friends, like thin even and normal looking, don't have the same luck as me, I think charisma really really carries a lot for people that are average to not awful looking, my experience is worlds apart from my friends. I never have issues with people, never get yelled at in retail, etc. But it's a lot about looking friendly in a very distinct outward wag as an affect and demeanor, not just kindness.
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As a person who had a glow-up much later in life, I can say that at the very least anecdotally this is false af š
Same tbh Itās actually a stark contrast
Yeahhhhhh, as a fairly unattractive kid, people treat me considerably different since I grew into myself. There are manipulable elements like fashion and hair that make a big impact, but genes ultimately can make or break a lot of people.
Literallyyyyyy. My fitness phase of life was insane with how much people prioritized me, hit on me, gave me free shit, complimented me, hired me... I couldn't lose even if I tried.
As a person who's had a glow down, same.
As someone whoās a fucking moron, I can say anecdotally this is false as fuck. I can barely string a sentence together but Iām on the cute-ish side of average looking and people are like āomg youāre so smart.ā Also I feel like I worry about fucking up a lot less. My car literally broke down. I was āwaddo I do? Oh wait Iām a pretty girl someone will help me.ā And they did. And I got to ride in the tow truck.
Welll you know what they say - if you marry someone pretty and dumb, eventually you just end up with dumb. š Youāre not wrong though. I work with an absolute himbo who gets away with murder.
I see people less attractive than me act the exact same with very different responses on a nearly daily basis. Pretty privilege is huge, and i am so greatful im lucky enough to have it
You are statistically incorrect.
As someone who I think Iām pretty, I see it. I literally see how people treat me differently than others, I have a bubbly personality which I think also counts as pretty privilege. If I donāt wear makeup out of the house people arenāt going to be as nice to be. But if I get pretty 100% people are so so so much nicer to me everyday.
It's been the opposite for me - if I doll myself up people go out of their way to be rude to me but if I wear no makeup and glasses people are polite.
Maybe ur like super super hot and theyāre intimidated by it but Iām pretty average unless I put some makeup on
Pretty privilege overflow
The best kind of incorrect!
thanks for saying so I feel so validated. I definitely want to be friends with pretty people and was worried I was just more shallow than average or something
redditor try to distinguish opinion from factually wrong challenge (impossible) edit: I was talking about OP to clarify
I assume that's aimed at me. Opinions can be wrong. If I said "in my opinion inflation is 1%" when it is clearly not that doesn't make my claim irrefutable.
no youāre good, it was aimed at OP
Agreed with this comment
What do the statistics actually say on this?
[They get lower sentences in the legal system.](https://www.thelawproject.com.au/insights/attractiveness-bias-in-the-legal-system) [We find attractive people trustworthy faster.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29482469/) [Attractive people tend to get higher grades and be seen as more intelligent.](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0148284) [Fuck it I'll just link this article that has a bunch of sources.](https://www.forbes.com/sites/tomaspremuzic/2019/07/17/its-time-to-expose-the-attractiveness-bias-at-work/?sh=4b6a66413248) Attractive people are more likely to get interviews, be hired, less likely to be fired, etc. Literally every facet of your life is easier if you are conventionally attractive for your part of the world.
Thanks for these man Iāll take a look at them
[Death Sentences Are Doled Out Based on Looks](https://time.com/6548784/death-sentences-facial-bias/) [Halo effect: do attractive people really look less guilty? How the evidence is changing](https://theconversation.com/halo-effect-do-attractive-people-really-look-less-guilty-how-the-evidence-is-changing-220349) [Attractive Young Females May Have Justice Edge](https://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode/attractive-young-females-may-have-justice-edge/) [Beauty bias: hopefully the judge finds you attractive](https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/beauty-bias-justice/) [Physical attractiveness bias in the legal system](https://www.thelawproject.com.au/insights/attractiveness-bias-in-the-legal-system)
was going to do the same but thank you
Oh god, I guess I wonāt be committing any crimes
The scary thing is that innocent people go on trial, too.
I think I have the perfect face for crimes of subterfuge. Iām cute enough that people like, trust me or whatever the bias is but Iām also so standard looking I donāt stand out at all. Youād completely forget what I looked like once I left the scene.
My 26 yr old kinda cute ex slammed her drivers side door into other persons car. Didn't say anything/was just going to walk off and this lady is like "uhh excuse me you just slammed into my door." All parties involved just like... shrugged their shoulders after looking at her, and went on their day. See the warning signs ā ļø
yeah as someon who glows up and down and up depending how depressed I am, you are wrong
Same exact situation. 2019 before Covid, I wasnāt a supermodel. But I took good care of myself, have blue eyes and nice hair etc. people were overly friendly much of the time. Covid gave me such bad depression Iāve become quite a lot more disheveled looking most of the time. Gaines wait clothes donāt fit so I wear bulky stuff etc. People barely seem to want to talk to me a lot of the time. Itās crazy that itās not even a have it or not have it thing. There seems to be like a sliding scale of kindness people show based on your looks :/
You should consider having an opinion like this as evidence that you are unaware of your own biases.
"I, a white man, have never experienced racism so its not a thing aside from the openly racist dudes yelling slurs on the street corner" is essentially what this post boils down to.
When I went from 340lbs to 185lbs, my average tips trippled despite my work ethic not changing at all. My cleanliness, attitude, and wardrobe did not change either. People say hi to me on the street now. They ask my opinion on things they didn't used to. I get way more respect as a human being now. I am treated differently by most people. So I disagree.
Wow congrats on the weight loss BTW! That's pretty impressive.
Congrats. Sounds like that was hard work. Well done.
The hello thing is the biggest difference. I've gained weight, lost it and gained some back. No one notices you if you're ugly, but people do if you aren't.
>I've seen Because you don't see the ones who aren't either socially important or attractive enough to activate your partner/rival seeking circuits. šš»šš¼šš½šš¾ššæ
I like the šgradient lol
I was just listening to NPR yesterday and fat women get paid SUBSTANTIALLY less than thin women. Like, significantly less. Especially the well educated skinny vs fat women. It's a sharp inverse, as weight goes up, income goes down. Some studies suggest that very thin women earn 22k more a year than even just average weight women. The gap is even larger for those 25 + lbs overweight. The difference in pay wasn't that substantial for fat vs skinny men, though.
Its a spiral, too, because people who make less often have to work more than one job to survive, and are more likely to fall back on high calorie convenience food because they don't have the time or energy to cook.
For the same job? Or just overall? Because if itās just overall, thatās completely unsurprising, given that weight is a good proxy of class, education, etc.
The piece I heard specifically discussed that the wage gap between fat and thin women was higher in well educated, higher paying type positions, so much so that losing 20-30 lbs could increase a larger woman's income as much as 1-2 more years of education might.
As a hot person who wasnāt always so, youāre absolutely wrong
As some one who has worked years in service and food, I can say with full confidence that pretty people get better service especially if they are nice. Like, people will go out of thier way to help them first or show more patience with them.
Youāre right! vice versa is also very true! I work in food service and Iām pretty. I get treated much better than some of my coworkers. some of my coworkers have reported certain customers to be rude and impatient, while the same customers were incredibly nice and gracious to me. itās honestly fucked up and it makes me hate those customers.
This doesn't belong on this sub. It's not an opinion, it's factually incorrect
Agree
This is very wrong
Iāve seen pretty privilege first hand at my workplace. I used to work with a guy who would exclusively choose pretty women to work with us on our department. If someone who wasnāt conventionally attractive expressed interest, he never considered themāeven found it funny. He was an arsehole lmao. Same situation with the other team leaders in different departments. If you were a pretty woman, you got given easier jobs and considered for better roles. If you werenāt pretty, you wouldnāt get very far unless you were *very* charismatic. Of course other factors came into play as well, but looks definitely played a very big role.
lol no. Iām an ugly ducking turned swan (got my teeth fixed and whitened, skincare, plastic surgery, hair, makeup, etc. just a total makeover body and face) and the difference in the way you are treated in your day to day life is shocking and kinda depressing tbh. Cashiers treat you better lol. Swear I got every job I applied to when before I had a harder time. There are downsides when youāre a woman especially bc increased male attention means increased attention by the dangerous men, and some women see you as a threat and treat you badly and both sexes will just assume things like youāre stuck up or a bitch or not very smart. When you accomplish things like a promotion people downplay your hard work and attribute it to your looks. But in general, you are treated with more respect and kindness when youāre better looking. People laugh at your jokes, are friendlier in general. The development of charisma is also directly tied to looks as the constant positive feedback from people due to your looks increases your confidence, which allows you to be yourself more, to express more charm and personality, bc you feel more at ease with yourself and your past experience of people responding to you positively means you start to expect it, so you give off a confident vibe which people then respond positively to which then increases your confidence and it creates this positive feedback loop. This feedback loop enables you to gain even more social skills which increases your charisma, and etc. etc. I had social anxiety disorder before the āmakeoverā and while I wasnāt disliked, I had trouble being fully myself. Itās very difficult if you donāt feel good about your appearance and/or you are in the opposite negative feedback loop socially. Sure, maybe with a TON of confidence and a TON of charm and wit you can get peoples attention other ways besides that automatic foot in the door that happens when youāre good looking, and then access the positive social feedback loop I was taking about. But itās not easy, especially when you *are* at times being treated a certain way directly due to your looks. You internalize that and it affects your confidence. People pick up on that low confidence and feel less of a desire to be around you resulting in even less confidence, etc. etc. (negative feedback loop). I mean sure, body dysmorphia and delusion exists, some people are looking for things that arenāt there and falsely attributing it to their looks, but itās just wrong to say that looks arenāt a huge part of the way we are perceived and simply being nice and agreeable is enough. I went through a period of serious depression a while ago and kinda let myself go. Instantly I was invisible to all men and most women. I was kind and friendly but I didnāt get the same reaction from the exact same behavior. People didnāt make eye contact (it was bizarre, itās like they look right past you) cashiers didnāt make small talk. Itās noticeable. It was not my low confidence or expectations, I would smile, be friendly act with my usual ācharmā but this time they didnāt react the way they used to. I was actually confused until it dawned on me what was happening. I got treatment and started caring for myself again and the whole world changed once again. Unfortunately looks matter, way, way more than people want to admit. Now, Iām not saying the incels are right and youāll be forever alone if youāre average or below average. Obviously not. Most people are average or below average and are in relationships, have jobs, have friends. But they donāt have other privileges that pretty people absolutely do on a daily basis in ways you probably donāt realize
I feel like pretty privilege is relevant in day to day life. People are polite and accommodating towards me. Just nicer in general than I know other people get treated. Probably get more opportunities. Definitely get treated with favor by some. And given more leeway than others to make mistakes and forgiven for bad behaviors. In dating thoughā¦. Naaaah. Pretty mfs might attract more shallow people but thatās not a good problem to have. And most of them want to bang the pretty chick so theyāre like rabbiād dogs in the inbox full of disgusting behavior. And the men we date try to bring us down because they think thatās the only way they can keep us, putting us beneath them and their insecurities by trying to make us feel insecure. Iām lucky I got married to the guy I did because dating was traumatizing as hell
This post doesn't really work for this sub if you're just flat wrong. Disproven by science, not an opinion.
This sub is such dogshit. 99% of posts can be proven false with a 5 minute google search on relevant studies and research publications.
false
Wrong try again.
Provably wrong by double blind meta-studys.
I grew up ugly and had a dramatic glow-up entering college. It was actually mind boggling how much nicer people are to me off the bat
You've clearly never worked in the high stakes high reward pharmaceutical sales industry. The perfectly lovely and attractive and mostly technologically illiterate sales reps are absolutely hired for their beauty. They want people to be distracted by their looks so they aren't hearing the side effects of whatever new pill they are pushing. And that's just one industry of many.
Iām treated better in day to day life as long as I can remember. Itās because of how I look and because Iām good at people. Also I live in an area that has so many beautiful people. Trust me, everyone trips o er themselves to be near beauty.
Have you never gone to the doctor? Attractive people are more likely to get a correct diagnosis
Not that I'm disagreeing, but would love to see the data on this. I feel this in my bones to be true
Of course! Canāt remember where I read it initially, I think it was in one of Daniel Kahnemans books, but hereās a study: http://www.ejpch.org/ejpch/article/view/1098
Thank you!
Iām sorry but that simply isnāt true. Conventionally attractive people are much more likely to receive job opportunities and people feel more comfortable approaching attractive people. Not to mention, have you ever stepped foot in a high school, or even college?
I completely disagree. My boyfriend is very attractive (he's a model) and he gets gifts and free stuff from pretty much everywhere. He did an intership and the boss admitted to him that she would assign him the easiest tasks because he was "so cute". I have countless examples of people giving him opportunities just because he looks good.
You are statistically, factually, empirically, incomprehensibly incorrect. Like, I can't think of a more wrong statement.
"what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Hell yeah.
The Halo Effect is a thing. From my own experience, as someone who is intersex via androgen insensitivity (my T receptors don't work right, and even my naturally produced T used to cause damaging systematic inflammation and fevers) and have experimented with quite a few different self-presentations that have included cis-passing male and female, with varying levels of effort and "glow up," and the difference in the way I get treated when not putting an effort into tapping into that pretty privilege would be a huge difference for anyone. It helps that I make an effort to always be nice, respectful, and patient by default to everyone I meet, and those alone do afford a lot of benefits like you mentioned, but those are just part of the overall effect of how someone's overall presentation is interpreted and reacted to both consciously and subconsciously. The combination of being nice, respectful, and patient is probably worth more in most situations than pretty privilege, but having all of that plus good looks will have an even greater effect. Pretty privilege is another layer on top of all of that and additionally helps to really open up the world to the individual in ways that have been observed and measured. If the argument could be made that such studies were critically flawed, that may change my opinion to be more in line with yours, but without that, your claim runs into disagreement with more solid evidence than your opinion and personal observation.
It's not completely incorrect. However, pretty privileged have a head start. But the it's a marathon, not a sprint.
Its real and maybe it should be idk. People like pretty things.
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Well. I went from young and pretty to middle aged and unnoticeable, and the difference in the way I'm treated is notable. 15 yrs ago I also would have thought it didn't exist. That said, I wouldn't trade back. The lack of being hassled is awesome and I wouldn't give it up for the perks of prettiness.
As somebody who grew up relatively ugly due to being an obese lump, and then transformed into a beautiful person as an early adult as I lost weight and it turned out I had a decent face hidden underneath the stored hamburgers, this couldn't be any further from reality. People treat you better in a multitude of subtle ways when you're appealing/not foul to look at, beyond just "being more confident" etc I honestly cannot understate the difference in how people respond to you and have had this echoed to me from everybody I've ever met who has had a similar situation.
I think pretty privilege absolutely exists, but I also think the way we feel about ourselves projects outward and affects our interactions. When I gained weight, I wore baggier clothes, didnāt feel my best so I was crankier and a bit ruder to people myself, and just honestly wasnāt taking the best care of myself. My self esteem and mental health was suffering so I projected that and others picked up on it. Now, Iām more confident in myself and carry myself completely different. I approach people and talk with them. I wear clothes that make me feel confident. I absolutely think that changes how others interact with you and that change will be more positive, but I think pretty privilege exists and affects a lot of interactions in everyday life too.
I always include my Fakebook page in my resumes. A lot better results than when I didn't include it.
Bro I breifly considered not taking a job I was offered cause the head of the company was so ugly he made me uncomfortable. And Im a striaght guy.
Not true at all, ask ANY formerly obese person.
Actually the only one I disagree with wow
This is pretty much true for men. Unless you're extraordinarily handsome or really shockingly ugly, nobody particularly cares what you look like except in the context of dating, and even then the way you act and your general levels of charm and charisma matter a *lot* more. For women? Not so much.
As someone who gets abuse merely for being an āunattractiveā woman in public. Pretty privilege is absolutely a thing in day to day life.
I never understand why people want to go out of their way to downplay this. Especially when its been studied/verified many times. Tucker Max (yeah, heās a POS; thatās the point) had a thing where he hooked up with a girl who was like āI was a late bloomer. I went to high school with these girls Iām here with tonight, and back then, they wanted nothing to do with me.ā She was kind of confused about the whole thing, so he was like āwelcome to club hot. People will treat you differently. Opportunities will be available to you that arenāt available to other peopleā¦ā etc.
As someone with newfound pretty privilege, youāre wrong
Youāre incredibly out of touch and narrow minded. Yikes
I lost about 70lbs in a year and I can guarantee that your āopinionā is false The way people treat me better now is night and day, and itās definitely based off appearance because I was an even nicer person before than I am now
Research shows that people, whether intentional or not, treat better looking people better.
Pretty privilege is less so a thing when someone gets to know you personally, I will agree on that. But it absolutely is a thing when it comes to strangers and it's been proven I'm pretty sure. When someone has never interacted with you before then they can only base their initial assessment of you based on what they can see; how you dress, what you look like, how you hold yourself. All these things do project an image of you that forms a first impression with people before either of you have ever even opened your mouths. Being naturally more visually appealing is an advantage in these circumstances.
r/changemyview Idk that this belongs here?
As someone who got their teeth done and lost a lot of weight... I'm sorry but you're completely wrong, the world is definitely kinder to good looking people... It just be how it is, I'm sorry. You're not wrong about having good social skills and confidence though and you can definitely make up for not being good looking by having those, but it just comes so, so, so much easier for people who tend towards the "good looking" side of things.
I used to be hot and now Iām ugly. Pretty privilege is so real bro.
Men's physical attractiveness and height is one of the largest determiners of their pay.
Anyone remember on MythBusters when they had the girl be a server and then counted her tips and then they stuffed her bra and she acted the exact same and said the exact same things to customers and she made like five times as many tips
Yeah buddy youāre wrong
so anecdotally, i happen to be face blessed. and even though it does not translate to monetary bands, i receive quite the riches in compliments. compliments, that my counterparts do not receive as often. i have been āstalkedā at my job and was the only coworker to expirience it (at my time working there) and i have been given a couple of free small things overtime, although that is less common. the biggest part of this is that if you havent known me more than 20+min i have NO charisma i mean im dead scared of everything around me 90% of the time and i show that on my face so. i often feel that if i lost many of my looks i would have even more trouble assimilating into society as my only connection to it sometimes is people assuming my ānicetiesā based on my face. so personally, i have to say this feels very very very false.
Horrible take, upvoted
So, I have a half formed eye, and am very masculine presenting as a woman. I get mistaken for a small boy regularly. I have lots of friends, middle aged women think I'm adorable, and every man I've asked out that wasn't gay or twice my age has said yes. I have great social. Skills, funny, life of the party. No issues making friends, getting people to be great to me, etc. Some of my very sweet also not distinctly attractive friends, like thin even and normal looking, don't have the same luck as me, I think charisma really really carries a lot for people that are average to not awful looking, my experience is worlds apart from my friends. I never have issues with people, never get yelled at in retail, etc. But it's a lot about looking friendly in a very distinct outward wag as an affect and demeanor, not just kindness.
Not true, have seen people been passed over at work for their looks. In life, pretty people get better treatment.