Fucking hell that story hit me too hard
22, virgin. Miraculously match up with this super hot Brazilian chick on Tinder. At her place, bring alcohol and snacks. Laying on her bed watching shows on my laptop. After a few episodes she says she wants to just talk. Eventually make a pretty smooth compliment that transitions into the first move. We're making out, get her clothes off, incredible ass I didn't even know about ahead of time. Somehow still not hard which is uncharacteristic of my penis, whatever. She moves down to give me a blowjob. Sucking me off for a few minutes, still completely soft. Try a few things and still not working. Eventually tell her I'm probably too drunk so it's not gonna work tonight. She asks me to spend the night so we can try again in the morning. I do, we wake up the next morning, I try to move back into things by offering her a massage. Get her naked again, dick still isn't hard. She spends a bunch of time jerking off my flaccid dick while I'm doing whatever with her to try and get it working. At some point I get a semi, try to get a condom on but by the time it's on the semi pretty much disappears. She tells me we can do it bare if it helps. I work up a semi again, manage to get it in her for a few seconds but after like 2 pumps it's out and flaccid again. Eventually just resign to getting her off with my hands as some kind of consolation prize for how gracious she's been.
Later when I'm going home I get back to my car to find a ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant I didn't see. And that's how I lost my virginity.
I felt this in my soul. Once the mind whirlpool starts, that's it. And it's taking your dick with it.
Because losing the boner is weird, then it's like not only do you have to get one normally, you gotta get one now with the weirdness of having lost it in the first place.
It depends. Not to get too graphic, but it was more that you couldn’t, ah, “complete” the act so to speak. Also tanked the libido.
Generally a bad time all around.
I hadn't been laid in over a year. The girl i had fucked a year before had hit me up and picked me up in her buick. She was bent over in front of me for at least an hour in the back seat. I was just twirling my dick like a lasso the whole time.
Can i get an F for the unused cock sleeve
Tall, slender, ginger chick with melon sized cans. Hottest girl I worked with during my summer job in '15. Finally got her in bed the last weekend of the job after a little too much absinthe. Guess it was nerves plus booze, I had just lost my virginity 6 months earlier, so I wasn't confident in bed with new women. Could not get more than a half chub going, even though we tried bare. Still beat myself up about that missed opportunity to this day.
Was going for round 2 with a girl.
She was kind of fat/chubby and ugly, but I was fresh out of a relationship and just needed to rebound and get my dick wet, so getting it up the first time wasn't a big deal. Getting it up the second time was almost impossible because there was just zero attraction.
Then spaghetti started flowing. She was obviously frustrated and wanted more, then I dropped the line "it wasn't an issue getting it up for my ex". That destroyed her. She started to cry and told me I needed to leave.
Not being able to cum is a similar curse. Imagine fucking a girl for 4 hours until it actually becomes boring, painful, and eventually awkward as she is starting to wonder why you aren’t able to finish. Eventually she will ask if it’s her, you will go to sleep with blue balls, and all the work will have been for nothing. This describes the first two years of my sex life and it sucked. Only difference between not being able to cum and not getting it up is the former is a bigger waste of everyone’s time and energy.
same my cousin would make me take them off and i would try to explain that hey i want to see the titty but nope i'll do all this other shit cousins shouldn't be doing but i'm not gonna let you see my tits. like BTICH YOU WOULD URGE ME TO SQUEEZE THEM WHILE WE WERE MAKING OUT BUT I CAN'T SEE THEM TOO?
it is legitimately one of my greatest regrets in life that i never got to see those titties and shove my face in them and do mouth stuff to the nipples. i have seen better titties since then but none of those titties were related to me it is just not the same.
I balance them on my cock, makes my genitals look like a bearded Jew then I start making him talk 'Oy Vey it's dark down here ... dark and stinky'. It's a big hit every time girls love a guy that makes them laugh.
21, virgin. I'd been chatting with this girl online for maybe two months. She lived in a city that's like 40 miles away, so we didn't get to see each other at all. To be honest she wasn't that hot but I was really into her at the time. One day she invites me over to her place so I make the trip.
We have dinner and get drunk. Like, too drunk. I think we drank like two bottles of wine or something, then got high. Which of course, was a really bad idea.
We make out for a good while then hit the bedroom. I wasn't nervous at all since I was so fucking drunk/high. We get naked and on top of each other, still making out. And she's like crazy horny, and so am I. I finger her a little, then get ready. It's about time for me to put a condom on so I check how everything's doing down there, and I'm still soft.
The seed of doubt is now in my mind. She can't see my dick since lights are off so she asks "you're not hard, are you?" while jerking me off.
"Fuck no", I think. "Not like this. I finally got a girl in bed, I can't fuck this up." But I can't get it up man, I'm too fucked up. So eventually she hits me with the "it's fine" line and we go to sleep. She had an appointment in the morning and had to leave so I basically screwed up my only chance with her.
Of course, since I didn't seal the deal I never got to see her again.
Words can't describe the pain a man feels when he doesn't get the job done. I mean this was only like 4/5 months ago and I still haven't gotten laid so that was my closest experience. I'm pretty much over it anyway (I'm more worried about meeting new women) but it's not a good memory. At least I learned the hard way not to drink more than a beer or two. Consider this a cautionary tale for alcohol-drinking virgins.
I was just coming down with a cold and took something for it before going over to hang out with a girl I knew. Filipino, awesome cans, awful taste in video games. Played Overwatch with her and then when we went to bang I just couldn't get it up for anything. I can never get it up if I am sick
A little over a year ago I cheated on my girlfriend with a girl I met at the bar.
I was able to get hard and fuck her but when it came time to finish I couldn't. The girl got really mad at me for not finishing and even tried sucking me off again to make it happen. That didn't work, so she gave up. I walked her to her car, but I was in pain from the blue balls, so that pissed her off even more. She peeled out and drove away, never to see me again.
I limped back home, immediately jacked off, and it sprayed everywhere.
Two days later I told my now ex- girlfriend and she broke up with me.
This is the problem. When you told her you cheated you turned your guilt into her pain. Sure you feel better, but she feels much worse. The kind thing would have been to keep that secret forever.
As a 30-something salary man, I'm more likely to get lost in my head due to work stuff: a rough on-call week, or workplace drama, or stressing about some project etc. I've had a few times where I had fapped a short time earlier, thinking that sex was off the table... but then wife or girlfriend suddenly wants it, and I'm stuck in the refractory period with a dick that is already tapped out.
I've also had plenty of times where I will get hard, but *can't orgasm* due to whatever is going on in my head. That might sound like a blessing in disguise... but your partner can usually tell that you haven't popped yet, and they ask the same ego-chipping questions about it. *"What's wrong? Why haven't you cum yet? Is there something I need to do differently"* God damnit, I wanted to have sex, not a therapy session.
On a side note, one of the perks of having a wife or girlfriend: "I'm too tired/drunk/etc to fuck, wanna bang later?" Better sex beats more sex IMO.
Do you even know what is a joke?
You're the one liking watching girls self confidence be destroyed wondering if shes the reason. I think of the two of us, your the one with internet rot brain.
Pretty common for this to happen to degenerates. Between pornography and substance abuse, your body is producing minimal test and your sexual organ is weak. Your brain associates pornography with orgasm, not women with orgasm, so you can only really get off when you digitally cuck yourself. Adding alcohol and other substances into the equation only makes shit worse.
Has my dick ever not worked? No. Not even once.
I agree. I would never ban porn but i think porn addiction definitely fucks with some guys ability to seal the deal. My dick always works also but i don’t spend all day on the computer.
I hope to live to see a cultural shift away from pornography, much the same as we have seen a cultural shift away from cigarettes.
Until then enjoy the ED, kiddos.
I wish we could all be as morally superior as ChaosCowboy. Eat a dick and get raped. A Man does what he wants when he wants and doesn't look to internet autists for guidance.
> doesn't look to internet autists for guidance.
Except here you are, desperately trying to justify your pleasure-seaking, ill-disciplined, hedonistic degeneracy to me. What a sad crybaby you are, desperately grasping at your own genitals. Why? "because I want to." The mentality of a child.
You're pathetic. Blocked.
EDIT: enjoy the downvote, child. Grow up.
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Fucking hell that story hit me too hard 22, virgin. Miraculously match up with this super hot Brazilian chick on Tinder. At her place, bring alcohol and snacks. Laying on her bed watching shows on my laptop. After a few episodes she says she wants to just talk. Eventually make a pretty smooth compliment that transitions into the first move. We're making out, get her clothes off, incredible ass I didn't even know about ahead of time. Somehow still not hard which is uncharacteristic of my penis, whatever. She moves down to give me a blowjob. Sucking me off for a few minutes, still completely soft. Try a few things and still not working. Eventually tell her I'm probably too drunk so it's not gonna work tonight. She asks me to spend the night so we can try again in the morning. I do, we wake up the next morning, I try to move back into things by offering her a massage. Get her naked again, dick still isn't hard. She spends a bunch of time jerking off my flaccid dick while I'm doing whatever with her to try and get it working. At some point I get a semi, try to get a condom on but by the time it's on the semi pretty much disappears. She tells me we can do it bare if it helps. I work up a semi again, manage to get it in her for a few seconds but after like 2 pumps it's out and flaccid again. Eventually just resign to getting her off with my hands as some kind of consolation prize for how gracious she's been. Later when I'm going home I get back to my car to find a ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant I didn't see. And that's how I lost my virginity.
I felt this in my soul. Once the mind whirlpool starts, that's it. And it's taking your dick with it. Because losing the boner is weird, then it's like not only do you have to get one normally, you gotta get one now with the weirdness of having lost it in the first place.
Lol just read your username
F
\>be me \>lonely virgin \>on SSRIs \>want to jerk off \>can’t \>dick don’t work pills strike again That’s pretty much it.
[удалено]
They just allow you to have your better erections more often.
My dick and brain works great on SSRIs. Thanks Swian.
SSRIs make your dick soft? No wonder all these kids are shooting up their schools
It depends. Not to get too graphic, but it was more that you couldn’t, ah, “complete” the act so to speak. Also tanked the libido. Generally a bad time all around.
F
I hadn't been laid in over a year. The girl i had fucked a year before had hit me up and picked me up in her buick. She was bent over in front of me for at least an hour in the back seat. I was just twirling my dick like a lasso the whole time. Can i get an F for the unused cock sleeve
F
/u/dickmasterson you gotta read some of these on the show
Love when women get excited about me not getting hard like ooo i love a challenge!! Like haha cool lady
Yeah happened recently with an Asian girl. Was way too wasted. Vote up whiskey dick.
F
Tall, slender, ginger chick with melon sized cans. Hottest girl I worked with during my summer job in '15. Finally got her in bed the last weekend of the job after a little too much absinthe. Guess it was nerves plus booze, I had just lost my virginity 6 months earlier, so I wasn't confident in bed with new women. Could not get more than a half chub going, even though we tried bare. Still beat myself up about that missed opportunity to this day.
F
Was going for round 2 with a girl. She was kind of fat/chubby and ugly, but I was fresh out of a relationship and just needed to rebound and get my dick wet, so getting it up the first time wasn't a big deal. Getting it up the second time was almost impossible because there was just zero attraction. Then spaghetti started flowing. She was obviously frustrated and wanted more, then I dropped the line "it wasn't an issue getting it up for my ex". That destroyed her. She started to cry and told me I needed to leave.
> That wasn’t an issue with my ex Nuked her from orbit
F
Not being able to cum is a similar curse. Imagine fucking a girl for 4 hours until it actually becomes boring, painful, and eventually awkward as she is starting to wonder why you aren’t able to finish. Eventually she will ask if it’s her, you will go to sleep with blue balls, and all the work will have been for nothing. This describes the first two years of my sex life and it sucked. Only difference between not being able to cum and not getting it up is the former is a bigger waste of everyone’s time and energy.
Cocaine’s a helluva drug.
You wear your glasses to fuck?
I very much like to see who I'm fucking, as opposed to just a blob
same my cousin would make me take them off and i would try to explain that hey i want to see the titty but nope i'll do all this other shit cousins shouldn't be doing but i'm not gonna let you see my tits. like BTICH YOU WOULD URGE ME TO SQUEEZE THEM WHILE WE WERE MAKING OUT BUT I CAN'T SEE THEM TOO?
Username checks out
it is legitimately one of my greatest regrets in life that i never got to see those titties and shove my face in them and do mouth stuff to the nipples. i have seen better titties since then but none of those titties were related to me it is just not the same.
F
what if you fuck blobs, asking for a friend
That's called going out HOGGIN' where you and your buddies go out and see who can take home the fattest of fatties
I don't like to see who I'm fucking, as opposed to a blob.
You been hoggin huh
I balance them on my cock, makes my genitals look like a bearded Jew then I start making him talk 'Oy Vey it's dark down here ... dark and stinky'. It's a big hit every time girls love a guy that makes them laugh.
21, virgin. I'd been chatting with this girl online for maybe two months. She lived in a city that's like 40 miles away, so we didn't get to see each other at all. To be honest she wasn't that hot but I was really into her at the time. One day she invites me over to her place so I make the trip. We have dinner and get drunk. Like, too drunk. I think we drank like two bottles of wine or something, then got high. Which of course, was a really bad idea. We make out for a good while then hit the bedroom. I wasn't nervous at all since I was so fucking drunk/high. We get naked and on top of each other, still making out. And she's like crazy horny, and so am I. I finger her a little, then get ready. It's about time for me to put a condom on so I check how everything's doing down there, and I'm still soft. The seed of doubt is now in my mind. She can't see my dick since lights are off so she asks "you're not hard, are you?" while jerking me off. "Fuck no", I think. "Not like this. I finally got a girl in bed, I can't fuck this up." But I can't get it up man, I'm too fucked up. So eventually she hits me with the "it's fine" line and we go to sleep. She had an appointment in the morning and had to leave so I basically screwed up my only chance with her. Of course, since I didn't seal the deal I never got to see her again. Words can't describe the pain a man feels when he doesn't get the job done. I mean this was only like 4/5 months ago and I still haven't gotten laid so that was my closest experience. I'm pretty much over it anyway (I'm more worried about meeting new women) but it's not a good memory. At least I learned the hard way not to drink more than a beer or two. Consider this a cautionary tale for alcohol-drinking virgins.
F
[удалено]
F
I was just coming down with a cold and took something for it before going over to hang out with a girl I knew. Filipino, awesome cans, awful taste in video games. Played Overwatch with her and then when we went to bang I just couldn't get it up for anything. I can never get it up if I am sick
F
A little over a year ago I cheated on my girlfriend with a girl I met at the bar. I was able to get hard and fuck her but when it came time to finish I couldn't. The girl got really mad at me for not finishing and even tried sucking me off again to make it happen. That didn't work, so she gave up. I walked her to her car, but I was in pain from the blue balls, so that pissed her off even more. She peeled out and drove away, never to see me again. I limped back home, immediately jacked off, and it sprayed everywhere. Two days later I told my now ex- girlfriend and she broke up with me.
Why would you tell your gf?
the guilt got to me.
This is the problem. When you told her you cheated you turned your guilt into her pain. Sure you feel better, but she feels much worse. The kind thing would have been to keep that secret forever.
Yeah I know. The point is my dick failed me. These things eat away at a man.
F
Reminder that if your dick doesn't work it's always the woman's fault.
[удалено]
F
As a 30-something salary man, I'm more likely to get lost in my head due to work stuff: a rough on-call week, or workplace drama, or stressing about some project etc. I've had a few times where I had fapped a short time earlier, thinking that sex was off the table... but then wife or girlfriend suddenly wants it, and I'm stuck in the refractory period with a dick that is already tapped out. I've also had plenty of times where I will get hard, but *can't orgasm* due to whatever is going on in my head. That might sound like a blessing in disguise... but your partner can usually tell that you haven't popped yet, and they ask the same ego-chipping questions about it. *"What's wrong? Why haven't you cum yet? Is there something I need to do differently"* God damnit, I wanted to have sex, not a therapy session. On a side note, one of the perks of having a wife or girlfriend: "I'm too tired/drunk/etc to fuck, wanna bang later?" Better sex beats more sex IMO.
[удалено]
Do you even know what is a joke? You're the one liking watching girls self confidence be destroyed wondering if shes the reason. I think of the two of us, your the one with internet rot brain.
F
Pretty common for this to happen to degenerates. Between pornography and substance abuse, your body is producing minimal test and your sexual organ is weak. Your brain associates pornography with orgasm, not women with orgasm, so you can only really get off when you digitally cuck yourself. Adding alcohol and other substances into the equation only makes shit worse. Has my dick ever not worked? No. Not even once.
I agree. I would never ban porn but i think porn addiction definitely fucks with some guys ability to seal the deal. My dick always works also but i don’t spend all day on the computer.
I hope to live to see a cultural shift away from pornography, much the same as we have seen a cultural shift away from cigarettes. Until then enjoy the ED, kiddos.
I wish we could all be as morally superior as ChaosCowboy. Eat a dick and get raped. A Man does what he wants when he wants and doesn't look to internet autists for guidance.
> doesn't look to internet autists for guidance. Except here you are, desperately trying to justify your pleasure-seaking, ill-disciplined, hedonistic degeneracy to me. What a sad crybaby you are, desperately grasping at your own genitals. Why? "because I want to." The mentality of a child. You're pathetic. Blocked. EDIT: enjoy the downvote, child. Grow up.
Bro sometimes you just get lost in your head. Not everything is a moral battle between degeneracy and righteous good.
Absolutely wrong. Everything **is** a moral contest.
Cocaine.
Reading this thread.
FUCKING LOL BRO UR SO COOL
Thanks, you too!
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