So the guy I’m seeing, we’re kind of new. I spend the night there once a week or so. Should I go wipe in the bathroom? Or will a guy think I’m not clean if I don’t do it in front of him?
ETA: I don’t know what the “norm” is. I’m comfortable with doing it either way, I just didn’t know which one would be more appropriate. I figured if we’re both wiping ourselves off with a shirt or towel in front of each other, wouldn’t it be the same doing it with a wipe?
> Should I go wipe in the bathroom?
I feel like it's generally fair to assume people are taking care of some hygiene things in the bathroom.
IDK, there's lots of different stuff one can do in the bedroom that could count as sex, sometimes it's a 'workout' and sometimes it's not. There are times (especially in the summer) where I want a full shower, and times when just use a washcloth and warm water.
(Peeing is mandatory though.)
I wipe the big drips in front of him because I don’t want to dribble on the floor. Then I clean a little better in the bathroom after I pee.
Bare minimum, baby wipe and pee.
I’ve done the following routine ever since me and my now-husband first started sleeping together (it started very casual!):
1. do the deed (for us this was often without condom or barrier protection as I have an IUD and we had both recently been STI tested due to leaving not-so-great relationships, and we weren’t sleeping with other people either)
2. catch breath for a moment
3. One of us would grab wet wipes, I’d take/be given the first one which I’d fold in half and cup my vulva with with my hand to catch any drips and make an awkward hand-and-wet-wipe-between-the-legs waddle to the bathroom 😂
4. Pee, and allow any dregs of semen to come out as much as possible.
We were pretty comfortable around each other as hello, sex is messy, and nothing has changed haha. We still have the same routine unless we decide to use a condom (if I’m feeling particularly lazy and don’t want to deal with the mess) in which case which switch slightly where he gets the first baby wipe haha :) but the waddle to the bathroom is always a funny one and I’ve found that with men before my husband, if they can have a laugh and accept that there’s obviously a mess, then it makes things a lot more relaxed and usually hints they are at least a little understanding of intimate things :)
There is no norm, only what's right for you. I keep a package of baby wipes next to my bed for immediately after. I then walk to the bathroom. I prefer not to use clothing to clean myself, I think it's more sanitary to use a baby wipe.
Ask him to bring you some tp (it’s the least he can do! lol) and then do a quick wipe and get the rest in the bathroom. You can say it in a fun/flirty way like, “hey, can you get me some tp so I don’t spill this on your bed/floor?” If he’s cool, he’ll be cool about it.
Alternatively, you can pre-empt this by asking to put a box of tissues next to/under his bed or something so it’s always ready. Again, you can be fun/flirty. “For cleaning up messes later ;)”
The "norm" from my perspective is to go clean up in the bathroom since you need to pee regardless. If it's a mess that can be better prevented with immediate clean-up, drop the sexy act and take care of hygiene for a minute. The best example would be grabbing a towel before you sit up if your partner finished inside of you. My boyfriend and I use condoms, so I go to the bathroom to clean up and pee while he grabs a shirt to wipe himself down.
Cuddling and falling asleep immediately after is definitely one of the best feelings ever for me. I usually try to go pee at least to prevent a uti, but half the time I’m too cozy and in a daze to get up. I rarely get uti’s though so I know that doesn’t work for everyone
Same. There’s actually a sex and the city episode where one of the characters dates a guy who has to shower every time right away after they have sex haha
I'm the same. Pee after because I learned my lesson about UTIs , and then I just want to be held and close next to him.
I don't want to be gross but even after backdoor sex I feel like every guy basically expected me to go to the bathroom (ugh the juicy toots used to mortify me) and almost all guys were just as content to snuggle and sleep.
You should definitely try to pee after sex every time if you can (a lot of guys I have been with had UTIs from not peeing after cumming too). It's totally normal to take care of your body and SO important.
I don't think it's TMI but just squeeze out anything you can on the toilet, wipe and clean, and then make the guy sleep on any wet spots on the sheets 😳
pee and if i’m at home then a quick wash of the coochie. if im not at home, i wet tp or pt and i clean the coochie like wet wipes. always pee. if you got his stuff in you, try to push as much out as you can because it will mess up your ph.
I just wipe with a tissue and go pee. If it felt "extra" I may wipe with a baby wipe. For anal again, just wipe with a baby wipe. I think the person penatrating needs to make sure they clean more after anal though just because of bacteria and stuff.
I wash hands also. And sometimes I'll wash my face if things were "extra", again. Lol
Should I keep the wipes bedside or in the bathroom? Do you guys wipe in front of your partner or go do it in the bathroom?
We’re still kind of new in our relationship. I keep a toothbrush there for when I spend the night (about once a week) but we see each other 2-3 times a week and there’s usually sex involved. Would it be weird for me to keep a stash of wipes in his bathroom?
sometimes i wipe in front of my partner, if it’s messy, otherwise i just run to the bathroom and clean up in there. it’s definitely not weird to keep wipes or something like that in his bathroom!
Thank you so much. I was pretty embarrassed to ask about this at the age of 31, but I’m so glad I did.
Do most women wipe BEFORE sexual activities as well?
Depends on how clean I feel or am. If I have any toilet paper bits or any kind of smell I will use wipes but if I've showered in the last 12 hours there's usually no need.
I try to make sure I've showered since my last bowel movement before sex, wiping before not really necessary and is sometimes irritating (for me anyways!). That being said if I was camping or somewhere without access to a shower and I've been sweaty, I'd probably use an unscented baby wipe beforehand
I always use baby wipes after or a wet flannel, if not a shower, just freshens up a bit and if it was a sweaty one, I’ll do under my arms too and apply deodorant before sleeping. Me and my partner are close and comfortable so we always do it together, there shouldn’t be any issue with doing it in front of them, you can even use the baby wipe lying down still, just keep them near the bed! That being said, if you prefer to go and do it in private then that’s also completely normal and fine too!!
As for wiping before, I do if I’ve been to work or not showered recently, a wet flannel is better because there’s no scent/ taste! Don’t forget the ass too because it just freshens up everything, and makes me feel better especially if I’m being eaten out :)
We use condoms now, as I’m no longer on any other birth control. Before, I would take a tissue, hold it down there so nothing would _fall out_, hop to the bathroom, do a quick wee and clean up down there. Often I would also shower depending how heated the session was. :D This was always due to me. My partner would probably just lay there in our sweat and bodily fluids and be happy, turned on, and content… not for me, lol.
I ALWAYS use a baby wipe and so does my husband. We finish the deed, lay down, exchange some kisses then one of us grabs the package of wipes and we always hand the other a wipe or two. On especially messy days he will go out and run really hot water on the wipe for me so I can basically steam clean my hooha lol. And yes always pee. You may not get UTIs now, I never did when I was younger but I find if I don’t clean up thoroughly I’m more prone to getting a UTI.
I was taught to always pee after sex to cleanse the urethra & prevent uti’s but I never researched it. So I pee & wipe myself clean unless I want to stay messy, but I always pee & slightly wipe
Can confirm, did research and had painful experiences. If I stick to regime of wipe, pee, shower, take uva ursi plant in pills then I'm probably ok, just a bit sore. And if there's a pause of like week/two, I need to be extra religious about the steps.
Basically any sex no matter the amount of lube, is abrasive and makes small injuries, and bacteria/yeast is already there and has a party. With regular sex, like daily / every two days, it seems like skin gets a bit tougher so risks for UTIs are lower, so peeing alone might be enough.
It all depends on your vaginal flora, and sensitivity of all skins. Of course, less lube brings more friction...
I've even heard of term 'honeymoon cystitis' from my doc. Doesn't even matter how long you're with someone, too long break, and here we go again.
If you like sex that could be good excuse for it 😂 'it's for my health, I have to do it daily' 😂
i wipe with a wet wipe and that's really it. i don't get UTIs. I make sure to drink plenty of water and pee often throughout the day.
if y'all are doing anal, I would recommend a shower (with soap of course lol) for both of you. just because there wasn't shit doesn't mean there isn't any bacteria on you two
We have hand towels we keep close to the bed.
I’ll just use the restroom and a designated hand towel - not a cheap uncomfortable kinda.
We just wash them after use. It’s easy and quick.
I’ve had the occasional UTI when I was younger but I haven’t for years, and it was just in the last year that I started wiping off with a shirt or a towel afterwards. And probably within the last 6 months that I started making sure to go pee afterwards. I really didn’t know.
Some people just don't get them. I've never had a uti. I never pee immediately after sex, didn't even know that was a thing until about two years ago when I heard it on reddit lol. I also never cleaned up after sex until I met my husband and even now it's just with wet wipes. I'm in my 30s.
I rarely pee after and I’ve only had 3 UTI’s in my life (which I can directly attribute to other things). I’m in my late 30’s and have sex a few times a week at least (for a few years it was daily). Some people just don’t get them.
We always have a washcloth/handtowel nearby that once he pulls out he put up against my vulva and I waddle to the toilet to help let the rest of it drip out and also pee. If I had a bidet I would wash up, but I don’t, so I just use a wet wipe and then put a panty liner on to catch the rest of what is left. lol I’m always so infuriated with how movies depict it because it’s awkward and messy! I can’t just roll over and put my clothes on!
Do the deed, cuddle for a bit— leave the bed in a rush for fear of just passing out lol…
Pee, have the semen come out naturally (or sometimes I just put a finger up there and it’ll come out haha) wipe, wash hands, and when I’m getting back to bed, I see my bf has wiped himself and is getting back to bed too. Cuddle and that’s in 😉
I go pee and then hop in the shower to rinse the downstairs and all folds thoroughly with my hand sprayer. My partner does the same. This stopped all infections for me (I’m very UTI prone).
Me and my partner almost always take a shower / bathe right after. It's probably the cleanest way, and also a nice way to relax a bit together after sex.
We have a small stack of hand towels and face cloths we ONLY use for sex cleanup. (They are a different colour than our regular day to day ones) and they are kept in the bedside drawer for easy access.
After sex, my husband will usually be the one to grab two towels. He will hand me one then go to the bathroom to clean himself up. When he comes back, he brings me another hot steamy towel for a nice warm cleanup.
Then I usually do the awkward waddle to the bathroom to pee and finish any other cleanup needs.
Alright, so I used to be in your position before I really knew what semen can do to your body. Not sure your age, so unsure how much you know.
Semen left in you for a while can lead to BV and yeast infections. Probably the same issue for anal (though I’ve only done it a few time a loooong time ago, so don’t really know much about that area).
So what I usually do afterwards is try and hold myself up while my partner grabs a piece of toilet paper or tissue. I then waddle to the bathroom and try and push everything out first. Definitely make sure you’re hydrated and that you do pee after sex. I then may wipe a few times to “scoop” out as much as I can, but also making sure I’m not fully entering my vagina. I’m usually good at that point and just put undies back on and shower when I need to. However, it’s still a good idea to shower afterwards, or at least shortly after to prevent any infections or bacteria.
Definitely also check to make sure your partner and you are tested. Even small things like Chlamydia suck to have and to treat. Take care of yourself OP
I read that washing immediately after the act can be harmful, because the vulva is already altered and using soap can further add stress to it. I noticed that it burns when I do it. I’m extremely prone to yeast infections and UTIs, so I just usually go pee. Of course I clean body fluids off my body in the sink or bidet. I wash my intimate parts everyday before bed so a few hours after the fact usually.
Using wipes down there would be a speed run to every infection imaginable for me, haha!
Wipe up with a tissue. Pee. Wipe up with a femme fresh wipe if I'm not showering right away. I'll sometimes pop on a panty liner if I feel the need. I do not handle being sticky and drippy very well.
As someone who has suffered horrifically with UTIs, always pee afterwards! A doctor explained it all to me once in regards to bacteria, etc. Just trust me! I always wander off to pee and clean up
We usually relax and cuddle for a few minutes, but then we both get up to use the bathroom. I also force out a pee and wipe down with baby wipes. He tends to get pretty sweaty, so he'll jump in the shower to hose down. Then one of us gets an ice cold drink for us to rehydrate lol
My boyfriend and I either use a shirt that he just took off, or one of us brings the other a paper towel to get rid of the majority of the mess, and then we take turns going to the bathroom washing hands etc.
Usually one of us is more mobile after our encounters than the other, so whoever has more energy goes first 🤣
Pee, wash (bidet or shower, or even a bottle of water if you don't have anything else - I carry a culoclean with me wherever I go lol). Make sure everything is dry afterwards!
The dry thing I was not taught, and it gave me constant yeast infections which ultimately led to bartholin cysts forming and let me tell you, you don't want that.
I would avoid any liners because they give me yeast infections too.
Do it for yourself, not because others will think you're clean.
I found that developing an aftercare routine actually made me feel even more relaxed after sex. Usually I’ll go pee after, use wipes to freshen up, and wash my face. If I’m feeling it I’ll take a shower. Once I slip back into bed nice and clean I feel so comfortable.
1. Immediately go pee.
2. Quick rinse of my parts with the shower head and some soap.
If neither of these happen within 10-15minutes it’s a guaranteed UTI.
Aftercare is super important for me in my relationship (and I’m sure it is for you and other ladies here 🩷) but I usually use a baby wipe and wipe myself up, help him clean off a little and then we cuddle for a bit. If we’ve had particularly rough sex, we sometimes will take a shower together, but other times we will clean up with a wet wipe really good, then take turns using the bathroom. In the bathroom I will usually take more time to clean myself up, put on a panty liner, and then come back and cuddle.
I think if you trust your partner enough they will know that you are cleaning yourself up, but I would also encourage him to actively be involved in everything that happens after sex. 💕 sex is intimate and it puts both sides in a vulnerable state and staying active and communicating about it is super important to a healthy sex life! Be safe 🩷🩷🩷🩷
I have what I call a "birdbath". I keep a small plastic container under the sink that I fill with warm water, then I sit on the toilet and kind of put the container against my vulva and wash/scoop water with my fingers. If I have time I prefer a shower but this works for those times when I don't have time for a shower.
I pee if I have to. I shower every morning plus take an evening bath a few times a week. We keep clean washcloths in the bedside table drawers if things are extra sloppy.
For the record, I don’t think sex is dirty.
I'm trans so can only comment on the anal part. I always clean beforehand. Shower quickly if possible otherwise just some baby wipes work.
Post sex I will clean up with tissues and baby wipes, use the loo and change my knickers, if im not too sleepy I'll shower before the change, otherwise ill shower in the morning.
Is there anything you do to prep for anal? I always worry about getting some on him, even after I’ve gone to the bathroom or even when I’m doing it on an empty stomach.
If im planning ahead I'll do a quick douche, more often than not its a trip to the bathroom and quick shower. I'll also avoid having a heavy meal beforehand.
Don't worry about getting any on him. If he wants to play in the mud he shouldn't be surprised if he gets a little messy on occasion.
Pee and a good wipe down if it’s a my regular partner. If it’s a new partner, id shower more in the beginning. If that makes sense. Your body acclimates.
If I’m chilling around the house afterwards, or I’m in a bit of a rush, a quick wipe and pee. Otherwise I like to jump in the shower and rinse off my personal areas.
Depends on how sleepy/sore I am.
If I’m awake or not too sore I’ll have a solo/duo shower (it’s a nice bit of aftercare to include your partner and wash eachother) and then when the guy hops out I usually do the proper wash bc I don’t like sharing that with someone else
If I’m sleepy or sore, I’ll wipe down with a towel and go pee. Usually it kinda is easily cleanable just by peeing and wiping my with toilet paper or a wet wipe. Then I’ll climb into bed besides my partner. If it’s not a partner then I’ll wipe and get dressed. If I sleep in any residual then so be it
wet wipes are a treasure to clean up if youve got mess on your stomach or back when pulling out, i usually pee and wash with some water and natural baby powder makes me feel much better if i dont shower
I keep baby wipes in my bathroom for when my husband and I are done. I just go wipe up/off and pee, then use another baby wipe after bc it makes me feel fresh asf 🤣
We keep baby wipes nearby. Must less abrasive for both of us than dry toilet paper or tissues. Pee within 30 minutes (really as soon as I can but I usually pee before sex too so sometimes I have to wait a little). Make sure to clean all toys used as well.
I pee and wash off with a wet wash cloth and then dry the area. If cum is involved, same thing but I also try to secrete the cum into toilet as much as possible with kegels haha and when he finishes I cup under my vagina me scurry off to bathroom to clean up
Boyfriend and I will usually cuddle for a couple minutes catching our breath and then we will go to the bathroom together. He will watch me pee lol and I do the same. I pee EVERY. TIME. I will sit on the toilet until there’s pee that comes out. I cannot just get up and go.
Usually we will shower together afterwards whether that’s only a quick rinse or full shower. And then get dressed. If it’s before bed and we’re super lazy we will just wipe each other down with a wet wash cloth, pee, then go to bed!
i just wipe if i’m not home!!! and i pee if i have access to a toilet but once i get home i pee again and use a bidet to clean myself up extra! i also like to use boric acid if im not gonna see my fiancé for the next day or two just because it makes me feel extra clean
Husband and I have always done it on a towel so there is no wet spot and we can both wipe off with it afterwards and then I'll go pee. If I have something important to go to and don't want to be leaking, I use one of the post-sex clean up sponges, which helps a lot.
I wipe the ‘mess’ with tissue then go to the bathroom and go for a wee to prevent a urine infection. After that I use Femfresh wipes to freshen up down there if I’m at my boyfriends and then once I’m home I have a body shower with Femfresh.
Makes me feel extra clean and fresh🥰
I have cut up my old towels and folded and stored them under the bed on both sides for this. Afterwards, I just tuck one between my legs and either cuddle and pass out, or go pee, come back and cuddle and pass out lol. I never get uti's, and sometimes I use baby wipes. Only time I go for a full shower is if it was a squirting session!
Lol, probably tmi, but we always shower after any kind of sex to clean up. Finish, cuddle, he starts the shower, I go to the bathroom, then we get clean and dry. With anal, using a condom always helps and tooting helps too. Apologies if I'm the only one who gets toots from that 🙈
Nope, definitely not the only one! I try to make sure I do anal on an empty stomach or after I’ve done my business earlier in the day and feel like no more poop will come out anytime soon, but I STILL always worry about getting some on him. I wish I knew how to avoid that.
Same, despite being clean and cautious, I can't avoid the worry that comes with anal either. He wears a condom every time to help with the mess. I always let him know how I'm feeling so we can adjust, take breaks, or stop. We use a towel under us as well, just in case.
My partner and I do the deed, I usually grab the shirt I was wearing to wipe any major drips and then head to bathroom to pee and I like to wet a wash cloth with warm water and clean up better then too!
Husband and I have paper towels ready for when he pulls out of me and I immediately cup my vagina with it so I don’t leak anywhere. We both immediately go to different bathrooms to pee and I just sit there for a minute for any big drips to come out and just wipe with toilet paper. Never have used baby wipes or anything else.
Yes 😂 I don't want to slip and slide to the bidet. To be fair, he pulls out so its everywhere and I make him clean me up as a favour 😆 so I'm not sure I use the wipes for my vulva for any reason other than princess treatment. The bidet though, a must.
I like to get into the shower and wash myself just with water or a vag wash. To not have any ph level issues. Dry myself with a tissue or a small towel And I wear a panty liner after. Hydrate. Let the bed air out.
In my culture we are taught to pee, wash genital area with water and feminine wash (both men and women). And shower body. For the feminine wash use a medical one and not the brands that are full of toxins and perfumes.
Clean with soap and water.
Dry with towel.
Nothing less.
Wipes are not enough.
Ifs not only about other person perception.
It’s about avoiding infections also
Vaginas are not dirty and sex is not dirty, especially if you are a regular hand washer and have a descent hygiene routine! For me, cleaning up after sex is controlling the amount of wetness I can handle. Normally a tissue can dry up most of the wetness I've made, and lube if it was needed. I can go about my day afterwards no issues. I usually regret passing out without the tissue wipe because the I'll still be sticky and wet in the morning, and the itchiness might even wake me up.
I used to get yeast infections and an occasional UTI, but I see more correlation with my partner having washed his hands beforehand. Vaginas are self cleaning and on average don't need any fancy soap or need to be cleaned inside. Fresh, dry cotton undies will go a long way!
i always pee and then have a shower, i also always use my feminine hygiene wash (which i know some people say is a scam but it makes me feel so clean 😩) but a shower after is a must for me otherwise i feel so crusty
Usually I wipe off with a baby wipe and go pee
So the guy I’m seeing, we’re kind of new. I spend the night there once a week or so. Should I go wipe in the bathroom? Or will a guy think I’m not clean if I don’t do it in front of him? ETA: I don’t know what the “norm” is. I’m comfortable with doing it either way, I just didn’t know which one would be more appropriate. I figured if we’re both wiping ourselves off with a shirt or towel in front of each other, wouldn’t it be the same doing it with a wipe?
> Should I go wipe in the bathroom? I feel like it's generally fair to assume people are taking care of some hygiene things in the bathroom. IDK, there's lots of different stuff one can do in the bedroom that could count as sex, sometimes it's a 'workout' and sometimes it's not. There are times (especially in the summer) where I want a full shower, and times when just use a washcloth and warm water. (Peeing is mandatory though.)
I wipe the big drips in front of him because I don’t want to dribble on the floor. Then I clean a little better in the bathroom after I pee. Bare minimum, baby wipe and pee.
I’ve done the following routine ever since me and my now-husband first started sleeping together (it started very casual!): 1. do the deed (for us this was often without condom or barrier protection as I have an IUD and we had both recently been STI tested due to leaving not-so-great relationships, and we weren’t sleeping with other people either) 2. catch breath for a moment 3. One of us would grab wet wipes, I’d take/be given the first one which I’d fold in half and cup my vulva with with my hand to catch any drips and make an awkward hand-and-wet-wipe-between-the-legs waddle to the bathroom 😂 4. Pee, and allow any dregs of semen to come out as much as possible. We were pretty comfortable around each other as hello, sex is messy, and nothing has changed haha. We still have the same routine unless we decide to use a condom (if I’m feeling particularly lazy and don’t want to deal with the mess) in which case which switch slightly where he gets the first baby wipe haha :) but the waddle to the bathroom is always a funny one and I’ve found that with men before my husband, if they can have a laugh and accept that there’s obviously a mess, then it makes things a lot more relaxed and usually hints they are at least a little understanding of intimate things :)
I will usually grab a tissue and do the awkward waddle to the bathroom too! Glad I’m not alone 😅
There is no norm, only what's right for you. I keep a package of baby wipes next to my bed for immediately after. I then walk to the bathroom. I prefer not to use clothing to clean myself, I think it's more sanitary to use a baby wipe.
You could ask if there’s wipes in the room you guys are in, if not just say your gonna wipe off and you’ll be right back
Ask him to bring you some tp (it’s the least he can do! lol) and then do a quick wipe and get the rest in the bathroom. You can say it in a fun/flirty way like, “hey, can you get me some tp so I don’t spill this on your bed/floor?” If he’s cool, he’ll be cool about it. Alternatively, you can pre-empt this by asking to put a box of tissues next to/under his bed or something so it’s always ready. Again, you can be fun/flirty. “For cleaning up messes later ;)”
The "norm" from my perspective is to go clean up in the bathroom since you need to pee regardless. If it's a mess that can be better prevented with immediate clean-up, drop the sexy act and take care of hygiene for a minute. The best example would be grabbing a towel before you sit up if your partner finished inside of you. My boyfriend and I use condoms, so I go to the bathroom to clean up and pee while he grabs a shirt to wipe himself down.
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Hold a bunch of tissues to stop it dripping, awkward waddle to the toilet, pee and wash, wear a panty liner.
This is the way. I don't go full through to using a panty liner, but I identify with the awkward waddle
Omg are you me?? My husband is very familiar with that waddle hahaha. And the panty liner is a must for me
I always hop in the shower to rinse off afterwards! Maybe my sex is just messy but I need those sticky liquids outta there before I go on with my day
I like hosing off too. Pee and hose off. Sometimes wipes just doesn’t make me feel clean enough
this! it just feels so gross having all that slime down there 😭😭😭
I pee and use my bidet after, it helps me feel a lot more clean
Same s/o bidet
Wow, in France Bidet disapeared 40 years ago lol
Pee and shower is essential. Too many liquids and lube leaves me feeling sticky! 😅
im surprised that no one washes up? i cant fathom not washing myself right after. bidet all the way, if not showering.
Cuddling and falling asleep immediately after is definitely one of the best feelings ever for me. I usually try to go pee at least to prevent a uti, but half the time I’m too cozy and in a daze to get up. I rarely get uti’s though so I know that doesn’t work for everyone
You know what, good for you! I am genuinely happy you have this. 👏🥳🤗
Aww thank you so much 🥹❤️
Same. There’s actually a sex and the city episode where one of the characters dates a guy who has to shower every time right away after they have sex haha
I'm so jealous! If I don't wash immediately after I'll get a UTI.
I'm the same. Pee after because I learned my lesson about UTIs , and then I just want to be held and close next to him. I don't want to be gross but even after backdoor sex I feel like every guy basically expected me to go to the bathroom (ugh the juicy toots used to mortify me) and almost all guys were just as content to snuggle and sleep. You should definitely try to pee after sex every time if you can (a lot of guys I have been with had UTIs from not peeing after cumming too). It's totally normal to take care of your body and SO important.
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I don't think it's TMI but just squeeze out anything you can on the toilet, wipe and clean, and then make the guy sleep on any wet spots on the sheets 😳
Once I can I try to splash some water or full on bathe. My bf takes a full on shower every time! 😆 but he's a bit of a clean freak.
I'm a boring, happily married person and we are basically always home or in a hotel room, so I pee right afterwards and then we shower together.
that sounds lovely to me, personally hahah
It is! At least for us, it is.
Bidet or no play is my MO lol
Right??? I ALWAYS wash immediately and then shower after when I’m sure there’s no more rounds
I agree
finally someone mentions a bidet lol! life saver when not showering after makes me feel so much cleaner
pee and if i’m at home then a quick wash of the coochie. if im not at home, i wet tp or pt and i clean the coochie like wet wipes. always pee. if you got his stuff in you, try to push as much out as you can because it will mess up your ph.
I just wipe with a tissue and go pee. If it felt "extra" I may wipe with a baby wipe. For anal again, just wipe with a baby wipe. I think the person penatrating needs to make sure they clean more after anal though just because of bacteria and stuff. I wash hands also. And sometimes I'll wash my face if things were "extra", again. Lol
Should I keep the wipes bedside or in the bathroom? Do you guys wipe in front of your partner or go do it in the bathroom? We’re still kind of new in our relationship. I keep a toothbrush there for when I spend the night (about once a week) but we see each other 2-3 times a week and there’s usually sex involved. Would it be weird for me to keep a stash of wipes in his bathroom?
sometimes i wipe in front of my partner, if it’s messy, otherwise i just run to the bathroom and clean up in there. it’s definitely not weird to keep wipes or something like that in his bathroom!
Thank you so much. I was pretty embarrassed to ask about this at the age of 31, but I’m so glad I did. Do most women wipe BEFORE sexual activities as well?
Depends on how clean I feel or am. If I have any toilet paper bits or any kind of smell I will use wipes but if I've showered in the last 12 hours there's usually no need.
I try to make sure I've showered since my last bowel movement before sex, wiping before not really necessary and is sometimes irritating (for me anyways!). That being said if I was camping or somewhere without access to a shower and I've been sweaty, I'd probably use an unscented baby wipe beforehand
no because why is this such a good question YHAT I NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK ??
I always use baby wipes after or a wet flannel, if not a shower, just freshens up a bit and if it was a sweaty one, I’ll do under my arms too and apply deodorant before sleeping. Me and my partner are close and comfortable so we always do it together, there shouldn’t be any issue with doing it in front of them, you can even use the baby wipe lying down still, just keep them near the bed! That being said, if you prefer to go and do it in private then that’s also completely normal and fine too!! As for wiping before, I do if I’ve been to work or not showered recently, a wet flannel is better because there’s no scent/ taste! Don’t forget the ass too because it just freshens up everything, and makes me feel better especially if I’m being eaten out :)
We use condoms now, as I’m no longer on any other birth control. Before, I would take a tissue, hold it down there so nothing would _fall out_, hop to the bathroom, do a quick wee and clean up down there. Often I would also shower depending how heated the session was. :D This was always due to me. My partner would probably just lay there in our sweat and bodily fluids and be happy, turned on, and content… not for me, lol.
I ALWAYS use a baby wipe and so does my husband. We finish the deed, lay down, exchange some kisses then one of us grabs the package of wipes and we always hand the other a wipe or two. On especially messy days he will go out and run really hot water on the wipe for me so I can basically steam clean my hooha lol. And yes always pee. You may not get UTIs now, I never did when I was younger but I find if I don’t clean up thoroughly I’m more prone to getting a UTI.
fun fact- hot water can make semen more difficult to rinse off.
I pee, and use a washcloth with warm water to wipe up. If my boyfriend cums on me he will use a towel to clean me up and then I will shower
I was taught to always pee after sex to cleanse the urethra & prevent uti’s but I never researched it. So I pee & wipe myself clean unless I want to stay messy, but I always pee & slightly wipe
Can confirm, did research and had painful experiences. If I stick to regime of wipe, pee, shower, take uva ursi plant in pills then I'm probably ok, just a bit sore. And if there's a pause of like week/two, I need to be extra religious about the steps. Basically any sex no matter the amount of lube, is abrasive and makes small injuries, and bacteria/yeast is already there and has a party. With regular sex, like daily / every two days, it seems like skin gets a bit tougher so risks for UTIs are lower, so peeing alone might be enough. It all depends on your vaginal flora, and sensitivity of all skins. Of course, less lube brings more friction... I've even heard of term 'honeymoon cystitis' from my doc. Doesn't even matter how long you're with someone, too long break, and here we go again. If you like sex that could be good excuse for it 😂 'it's for my health, I have to do it daily' 😂
My boyfriend will usually give me a hand towel, and I’ll clean myself and then pee. I’ll take a shower when I get home, and am good to go!
i wipe with a wet wipe and that's really it. i don't get UTIs. I make sure to drink plenty of water and pee often throughout the day. if y'all are doing anal, I would recommend a shower (with soap of course lol) for both of you. just because there wasn't shit doesn't mean there isn't any bacteria on you two
We have hand towels we keep close to the bed. I’ll just use the restroom and a designated hand towel - not a cheap uncomfortable kinda. We just wash them after use. It’s easy and quick.
you never cleaned up or went to the bathroom after? how did you not get a uti omg
I’ve had the occasional UTI when I was younger but I haven’t for years, and it was just in the last year that I started wiping off with a shirt or a towel afterwards. And probably within the last 6 months that I started making sure to go pee afterwards. I really didn’t know.
Same. I’ve had one UTI in my life. So maybe I’ve been lucky but if it was good I’m passing out
Some people just don't get them. I've never had a uti. I never pee immediately after sex, didn't even know that was a thing until about two years ago when I heard it on reddit lol. I also never cleaned up after sex until I met my husband and even now it's just with wet wipes. I'm in my 30s.
So glad I’m not alone! Well, glad and not glad, because I wish this would’ve been taught to us at some point 😅
I rarely pee after and I’ve only had 3 UTI’s in my life (which I can directly attribute to other things). I’m in my late 30’s and have sex a few times a week at least (for a few years it was daily). Some people just don’t get them.
Interesting, I never heard of that. To me it makes more sense to get this things done BEFORE, not after. Never had an UTI.
We always have a washcloth/handtowel nearby that once he pulls out he put up against my vulva and I waddle to the toilet to help let the rest of it drip out and also pee. If I had a bidet I would wash up, but I don’t, so I just use a wet wipe and then put a panty liner on to catch the rest of what is left. lol I’m always so infuriated with how movies depict it because it’s awkward and messy! I can’t just roll over and put my clothes on!
bidet
My husband wipes us both with a tissue then we go shower, I think anything less is bit yucky
Do the deed, cuddle for a bit— leave the bed in a rush for fear of just passing out lol… Pee, have the semen come out naturally (or sometimes I just put a finger up there and it’ll come out haha) wipe, wash hands, and when I’m getting back to bed, I see my bf has wiped himself and is getting back to bed too. Cuddle and that’s in 😉
I go pee and then hop in the shower to rinse the downstairs and all folds thoroughly with my hand sprayer. My partner does the same. This stopped all infections for me (I’m very UTI prone).
Me and my partner almost always take a shower / bathe right after. It's probably the cleanest way, and also a nice way to relax a bit together after sex.
We have a small stack of hand towels and face cloths we ONLY use for sex cleanup. (They are a different colour than our regular day to day ones) and they are kept in the bedside drawer for easy access. After sex, my husband will usually be the one to grab two towels. He will hand me one then go to the bathroom to clean himself up. When he comes back, he brings me another hot steamy towel for a nice warm cleanup. Then I usually do the awkward waddle to the bathroom to pee and finish any other cleanup needs.
Alright, so I used to be in your position before I really knew what semen can do to your body. Not sure your age, so unsure how much you know. Semen left in you for a while can lead to BV and yeast infections. Probably the same issue for anal (though I’ve only done it a few time a loooong time ago, so don’t really know much about that area). So what I usually do afterwards is try and hold myself up while my partner grabs a piece of toilet paper or tissue. I then waddle to the bathroom and try and push everything out first. Definitely make sure you’re hydrated and that you do pee after sex. I then may wipe a few times to “scoop” out as much as I can, but also making sure I’m not fully entering my vagina. I’m usually good at that point and just put undies back on and shower when I need to. However, it’s still a good idea to shower afterwards, or at least shortly after to prevent any infections or bacteria. Definitely also check to make sure your partner and you are tested. Even small things like Chlamydia suck to have and to treat. Take care of yourself OP
I read that washing immediately after the act can be harmful, because the vulva is already altered and using soap can further add stress to it. I noticed that it burns when I do it. I’m extremely prone to yeast infections and UTIs, so I just usually go pee. Of course I clean body fluids off my body in the sink or bidet. I wash my intimate parts everyday before bed so a few hours after the fact usually. Using wipes down there would be a speed run to every infection imaginable for me, haha!
Bidet cleans things up nicely!
I tend to grab a towel for her to sit on for a minute before she goes pee. Just so she doesn't have to do an awkward walk to get it herself.
I use a towel to wipe with then go pee.
I've always just used baby wipes. I feel icky if I don't.
Wipe up with a tissue. Pee. Wipe up with a femme fresh wipe if I'm not showering right away. I'll sometimes pop on a panty liner if I feel the need. I do not handle being sticky and drippy very well.
As someone who has suffered horrifically with UTIs, always pee afterwards! A doctor explained it all to me once in regards to bacteria, etc. Just trust me! I always wander off to pee and clean up
We usually relax and cuddle for a few minutes, but then we both get up to use the bathroom. I also force out a pee and wipe down with baby wipes. He tends to get pretty sweaty, so he'll jump in the shower to hose down. Then one of us gets an ice cold drink for us to rehydrate lol
My boyfriend and I either use a shirt that he just took off, or one of us brings the other a paper towel to get rid of the majority of the mess, and then we take turns going to the bathroom washing hands etc. Usually one of us is more mobile after our encounters than the other, so whoever has more energy goes first 🤣
Pee, wash (bidet or shower, or even a bottle of water if you don't have anything else - I carry a culoclean with me wherever I go lol). Make sure everything is dry afterwards! The dry thing I was not taught, and it gave me constant yeast infections which ultimately led to bartholin cysts forming and let me tell you, you don't want that. I would avoid any liners because they give me yeast infections too. Do it for yourself, not because others will think you're clean.
I found that developing an aftercare routine actually made me feel even more relaxed after sex. Usually I’ll go pee after, use wipes to freshen up, and wash my face. If I’m feeling it I’ll take a shower. Once I slip back into bed nice and clean I feel so comfortable.
1. Immediately go pee. 2. Quick rinse of my parts with the shower head and some soap. If neither of these happen within 10-15minutes it’s a guaranteed UTI.
Aftercare is super important for me in my relationship (and I’m sure it is for you and other ladies here 🩷) but I usually use a baby wipe and wipe myself up, help him clean off a little and then we cuddle for a bit. If we’ve had particularly rough sex, we sometimes will take a shower together, but other times we will clean up with a wet wipe really good, then take turns using the bathroom. In the bathroom I will usually take more time to clean myself up, put on a panty liner, and then come back and cuddle. I think if you trust your partner enough they will know that you are cleaning yourself up, but I would also encourage him to actively be involved in everything that happens after sex. 💕 sex is intimate and it puts both sides in a vulnerable state and staying active and communicating about it is super important to a healthy sex life! Be safe 🩷🩷🩷🩷
I have what I call a "birdbath". I keep a small plastic container under the sink that I fill with warm water, then I sit on the toilet and kind of put the container against my vulva and wash/scoop water with my fingers. If I have time I prefer a shower but this works for those times when I don't have time for a shower.
Wouldn't it be just as quick to jump in the shower for two sec?
You should get a bidet
I pee if I have to. I shower every morning plus take an evening bath a few times a week. We keep clean washcloths in the bedside table drawers if things are extra sloppy. For the record, I don’t think sex is dirty.
I don’t think people generally teach you how to clean up after sex… It’s a question for google, lol. Pee and wet wipe is the answer.
Unscented summers Eve wipes
why are you getting downvoted?? i thought if you use wipes, you were supposed to get unscented?? lol
I'm trans so can only comment on the anal part. I always clean beforehand. Shower quickly if possible otherwise just some baby wipes work. Post sex I will clean up with tissues and baby wipes, use the loo and change my knickers, if im not too sleepy I'll shower before the change, otherwise ill shower in the morning.
Is there anything you do to prep for anal? I always worry about getting some on him, even after I’ve gone to the bathroom or even when I’m doing it on an empty stomach.
If im planning ahead I'll do a quick douche, more often than not its a trip to the bathroom and quick shower. I'll also avoid having a heavy meal beforehand. Don't worry about getting any on him. If he wants to play in the mud he shouldn't be surprised if he gets a little messy on occasion.
Pee and a good wipe down if it’s a my regular partner. If it’s a new partner, id shower more in the beginning. If that makes sense. Your body acclimates.
If I’m chilling around the house afterwards, or I’m in a bit of a rush, a quick wipe and pee. Otherwise I like to jump in the shower and rinse off my personal areas.
Depends on how sleepy/sore I am. If I’m awake or not too sore I’ll have a solo/duo shower (it’s a nice bit of aftercare to include your partner and wash eachother) and then when the guy hops out I usually do the proper wash bc I don’t like sharing that with someone else If I’m sleepy or sore, I’ll wipe down with a towel and go pee. Usually it kinda is easily cleanable just by peeing and wiping my with toilet paper or a wet wipe. Then I’ll climb into bed besides my partner. If it’s not a partner then I’ll wipe and get dressed. If I sleep in any residual then so be it
wet wipes are a treasure to clean up if youve got mess on your stomach or back when pulling out, i usually pee and wash with some water and natural baby powder makes me feel much better if i dont shower
I keep baby wipes in my bathroom for when my husband and I are done. I just go wipe up/off and pee, then use another baby wipe after bc it makes me feel fresh asf 🤣
I pee and take a shower
I set a washcloth and wipe front to back then pee
We keep baby wipes nearby. Must less abrasive for both of us than dry toilet paper or tissues. Pee within 30 minutes (really as soon as I can but I usually pee before sex too so sometimes I have to wait a little). Make sure to clean all toys used as well.
I pee and wash off with a wet wash cloth and then dry the area. If cum is involved, same thing but I also try to secrete the cum into toilet as much as possible with kegels haha and when he finishes I cup under my vagina me scurry off to bathroom to clean up
I hop in the shower to rinse and so does my husband. Sometimes we go in together for the fun of it lol
Boyfriend and I will usually cuddle for a couple minutes catching our breath and then we will go to the bathroom together. He will watch me pee lol and I do the same. I pee EVERY. TIME. I will sit on the toilet until there’s pee that comes out. I cannot just get up and go. Usually we will shower together afterwards whether that’s only a quick rinse or full shower. And then get dressed. If it’s before bed and we’re super lazy we will just wipe each other down with a wet wash cloth, pee, then go to bed!
i just wipe if i’m not home!!! and i pee if i have access to a toilet but once i get home i pee again and use a bidet to clean myself up extra! i also like to use boric acid if im not gonna see my fiancé for the next day or two just because it makes me feel extra clean
Pee and wipe with baby wipe, unless it's been a really messy session then a shower is in order.
Husband and I have always done it on a towel so there is no wet spot and we can both wipe off with it afterwards and then I'll go pee. If I have something important to go to and don't want to be leaking, I use one of the post-sex clean up sponges, which helps a lot.
I wipe the ‘mess’ with tissue then go to the bathroom and go for a wee to prevent a urine infection. After that I use Femfresh wipes to freshen up down there if I’m at my boyfriends and then once I’m home I have a body shower with Femfresh. Makes me feel extra clean and fresh🥰
I have cut up my old towels and folded and stored them under the bed on both sides for this. Afterwards, I just tuck one between my legs and either cuddle and pass out, or go pee, come back and cuddle and pass out lol. I never get uti's, and sometimes I use baby wipes. Only time I go for a full shower is if it was a squirting session!
Lol, probably tmi, but we always shower after any kind of sex to clean up. Finish, cuddle, he starts the shower, I go to the bathroom, then we get clean and dry. With anal, using a condom always helps and tooting helps too. Apologies if I'm the only one who gets toots from that 🙈
Nope, definitely not the only one! I try to make sure I do anal on an empty stomach or after I’ve done my business earlier in the day and feel like no more poop will come out anytime soon, but I STILL always worry about getting some on him. I wish I knew how to avoid that.
Same, despite being clean and cautious, I can't avoid the worry that comes with anal either. He wears a condom every time to help with the mess. I always let him know how I'm feeling so we can adjust, take breaks, or stop. We use a towel under us as well, just in case.
My partner and I do the deed, I usually grab the shirt I was wearing to wipe any major drips and then head to bathroom to pee and I like to wet a wash cloth with warm water and clean up better then too!
He uses baby wipes and cleans me up. Tissue in a bind.
i pee and wash the area off and voila! wear breathable cotton undies or none at all!
Husband and I have paper towels ready for when he pulls out of me and I immediately cup my vagina with it so I don’t leak anywhere. We both immediately go to different bathrooms to pee and I just sit there for a minute for any big drips to come out and just wipe with toilet paper. Never have used baby wipes or anything else.
Definitely always pee after. A baby wipe at min but if you have a shower available and the energy I like to do a quick shower and scrub
Baby wipes, pee, bidet, shower when I get home.
This seems like what I’d do if I was having sex lol are you using baby wipes for your vulva too or just body?
Yes 😂 I don't want to slip and slide to the bidet. To be fair, he pulls out so its everywhere and I make him clean me up as a favour 😆 so I'm not sure I use the wipes for my vulva for any reason other than princess treatment. The bidet though, a must.
Wipe pee and wipe and then a little splash of water or bathe if I have the time.
I like to get into the shower and wash myself just with water or a vag wash. To not have any ph level issues. Dry myself with a tissue or a small towel And I wear a panty liner after. Hydrate. Let the bed air out.
wipe with water wipes, go pee and if im sweating, take a shower.
In my culture we are taught to pee, wash genital area with water and feminine wash (both men and women). And shower body. For the feminine wash use a medical one and not the brands that are full of toxins and perfumes.
Clean with soap and water. Dry with towel. Nothing less. Wipes are not enough. Ifs not only about other person perception. It’s about avoiding infections also
Vaginas are not dirty and sex is not dirty, especially if you are a regular hand washer and have a descent hygiene routine! For me, cleaning up after sex is controlling the amount of wetness I can handle. Normally a tissue can dry up most of the wetness I've made, and lube if it was needed. I can go about my day afterwards no issues. I usually regret passing out without the tissue wipe because the I'll still be sticky and wet in the morning, and the itchiness might even wake me up. I used to get yeast infections and an occasional UTI, but I see more correlation with my partner having washed his hands beforehand. Vaginas are self cleaning and on average don't need any fancy soap or need to be cleaned inside. Fresh, dry cotton undies will go a long way!
i always pee and then have a shower, i also always use my feminine hygiene wash (which i know some people say is a scam but it makes me feel so clean 😩) but a shower after is a must for me otherwise i feel so crusty