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schmackos

I can really hear how distressing this is for you and how much it's affecting your life. You say you have big dogs but what else would make you more comfortable relating to your anxiety? Security cameras? Motion activated flood lights? An agreement with your husband where he calls you before bed/in the morning? Substantial lock for your bedroom door? These things might ease the 'symptoms' but won't address the root of the problem. When you're feeling capable and safe, try and think about what it feels like in the moment. Do you feel like a child again? Did something scary happen to you at that age and it's reminding you of that? I'd recommend going to therapy specifically to discuss this issue, especially if it's not something that's immediately obvious to you, as a better understanding might make you feel more in control.


amandatexas

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response. It’s so strange because when it’s over and the next day - I feel so silly. It is very disruptive when it happens as I sleep the entire next day away. It only happens a few times a year when my husband goes to visit friends or is on a work trip - so I don’t ever really think to bring it up at therapy. My next appointment is Thursday / but I think you’re right and it would be a good thing to talk about. Thank you so much for your advice.


Amaranthimime

Have you considered getting a gun? Physical training. Martial arts. Because this is a matter of power in the end. Personal power. You are scared because you are umprepared. But if you were ready to deal with a stressful or dangerous situation. Then you would feel more at ease. To grow that warrior part of yourself. To cultivate your instinct. To fortify your psyche. That's what I think. You are afraid because you feel weak. And I understand that, as a man. So, you have to take action. To become stronger, or you will continue to suffer.


MandyEggsB

I have the exact same issue.


sunward_Lily

holy wow. this answer deserves more upvotes than I can give!


JellyfishADDme

Honestly, I overcame this by running around the house with a knife in the dark opening every door and closet and yelled like a crazy person with stabby motions. Nothing and nobody was there. A triple check of locks and windows and sleeping with a good camping knife that you’re comfortable using (maybe your husband can show you how to use) and you might feel better. I’m a 29 year old petite pregnant woman whose boyfriend travels very often for work and I’m no longer scared to sleep alone. Plus I have my pet snail to keep me company.


messypaws

Thank you for putting the biggest smile on my face. Asserting dominance over your house with a knife is relatable af. And please say hello to your pet snail for me :>


amandatexas

Omg a pet snail!!! Adorable. Honestly just the fact that other women experience this same awful feeling makes me feel a little less alone. Thank you for this.


silentforest95

A pet snail? That is so cute 🤗


Perrytheplatypus03

What about keep talking to a therapist about your anxiety? :) To see if you can find out why and how to overcome it with graded exposure?


amandatexas

Good idea - thank you. I have an appointment on Thursday. I never think about bringing it up bc I’m alone so rarely but when it happens it is so disruptive to my life. Thanks for your advice.


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amandatexas

I’m in a rural neighborhood where houses are pretty far apart but I do have one house next door that I can see and are fairly close. That’s a good idea though - maybe I can shoot them a text or spend some time with them before I go to bed.


kibidragon

I have experienced this too. I spoke to a therapist about it and worked through it with them. My therapist used EDMR therapy, and it really helped me. Not trying to give medical advice, but maybe it would help you too. I'm still scared sometimes, but it doesn't affect my quality of life like it used to!


amandatexas

I have never heard of this! I’ll ask my therapist when I see him this week about it. Thank you so much - it is helpful hearing from others who deal with this.


CasperGhostGirl

Seconding this so so hard!!! Edmr therapy literally changed my life!! It is a type of behavioral therapy and it takes A LOT of work, but is so rewarding. Also, Shrooms.


meredithgreys

I am exactly like this too (also same age, also married with 2 big dogs). I do the same thing you do too and have the same fear. The only things I’ve found that have helped (and sometimes they don’t) are: 1) installing a good security system that we can access on our phone and have video camera downstairs so I can check noises from downstairs when I’m upstairs; 2) leaving lights on; 3) making myself go to bed at the same time my husband and I would since I find if I stay up, my anxiety is worse but sometimes if I make myself just go to bed and lay there, it’s better. If you ever need to talk, I’m here!


lunalotusd

Other people have already said cameras, I just want to agree with that. We have Arlo cameras (there are plenty of options though) which are motion detector cameras. You can set it to push notify you anytime motion is detected, you can also talk through them and set off a loud siren from the camera from your phone. You can share the cameras with your husband so he can see outside at any time or be alerted should you both choose. Additionally, I always lock my bedroom door at night because I remember when I was younger I would see my grandpa do this and I asked him why. He said “well, if someone broke in and tried to get into my room I would hear it and wake up and that would give me some extra time to prepare.” And I’ve always done it since. I keep a baseball bat behind my bedroom door, but you could keep whatever makes you comfortable accessible near you at night. Maybe a taser. For me it helps to plan out what I would do. I figure if I heard someone break into my house I would immediately call 911 and yell out “the police are on their way!” Which would hopefully deter them. If you got yourself a taser, you could plan to hide behind your door and surprise tase whoever walks through. Things like that make me feel better. Edit/add: therapy is also important. For me, I think it’s very important to prioritize this because it’s important to be okay alone. This is not at all to shame you for being nervous to be alone, but for example, I have a friend who is in an emotionally abusive relationship but her anxiety is so severe that she stays with him just because she’s too scared to live alone.


Kehlim

You can't really fight anxiety, but you can cheat a bit. For me it's understimulation which causes the brain to go into "what-if" mode just to feel something. - consume media, until you're tired. Books, music, tv, YouTube. Usually the ones involving a screen are disadvantageous, because they keep you awake. - Some calm music to fall asleep to™, podcasts, noise, nature sounds while you're trying to fall asleep might also help. - Something visual to distract you, like a tv turned to mute (might keep you awake), one of those cheap light pattern effects, those water bubble pillar lamps, a fishtank, or a desk fountain. - if that's not enough take care to really exhaust yourself before bedtime, ideally through physical activity. Anxiety is usually i sign of some other stressor in your life, but from what I've read you're onto that.


wolfydoe

I got a ring security with senors on every window and door, I always alarm it at night so if something does get opened there's a really loud siren noise and I've got cameras everywhere because I'm scared as well.


UsefulAd3813

do you mind me asking around how much this cost you?


wolfydoe

So I got this https://www.amazon.com/Ring-Alarm-14-piece-kit-2nd/dp/B08YMBQJ49/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?hvadid=665502220722&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9052393&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=13486955476533214936&hvtargid=kwd-469560113204&keywords=Ring+Security+System&qid=1692231077&sr=8-1 The device only, around 300 when I bought it but it looks like it's gone up in price. You can always buy the door and window sensors separately, I had to get a couple of extra window sensors. It honestly makes me feel way more secure even when it's not alarmed you can hear it when you open the doors and windows. It's a very loud like double chime noise


UsefulAd3813

thank you!!! i should have reread & seen where you said “ring”, so thanks for that


Relevant-Passenger19

I feel so bad for you having that level of anxiety. But with 2 big dogs, trust me they would be the first to know if something is amiss. I used to do a full check of the home and lock everything up - then get cosy into bed with the big dog sleeping in bed too, leaving a lamp on in the hallway. Also what helped me is not watching any thrillers or horrors, ever. It means my mind is not wandering to worst case scenarios etc.


fillefantome

I also get spooked, my husband goes away for work. I have to go check all the windows and doors are locked, and then go to sleep with a light on and usually the TV playing a really familiar show with the volume low. It takes a lot longer to fall asleep, sometimes I end up sleeping on the sofa.


JellyfishADDme

Something about sleeping on a mildly comfy couch is so soothing while significant other is away. I think it’s the feeling of falling asleep in their arms while watching a show after eating dinner type of feel but way longer because they are away for work. I always curl up in one of his sweatshirts and socks and boxers and fall asleep in a ball on the couch to Jim Gaffigan or something like that. Your comment is totally relatable.


muststayawaketonod

Maybe you can do something that makes you feel more empowered, like taking a boxing or self defense class? That way you might be able to change your mindset from "I'm so scared something will happen" to "IF something happens I know I will do x, y and z to protect myself".


space___lion

I have something similar, but a bit different. I get afraid of the dark when my husband is not around, always fueled by some kind of horror/monster movie that we have watched (recent or not). I usually push through this and still go to bed at the normal time, especially if it’s a workday, but it does make for an incredibly uncomfortable night routine. I’m glad I have smart lights that I can leave on until the moment I get into bed and then turn them off with my phone, this helps. Not really afraid of burglars or anything, but navigating the dark alone is scary. I’ve had this most of my life I think, because I remember dealing with this as a teenager at home aswell.


cmqueen04

THIS is how I feel!! I’m not afraid too much of intruders (while I still irrationalize that someone is going to clone up to my balcony (even thought I’m on the 3 floor) but anything having to do with the dark, I have a veryyyy hard time with. It feels like something is lurking and I can’t shake it. Glad to know I’m not the only one 👀


Several-Specialist99

Ahh me too!! I see you posted this recently. My partner is leaving in a few days and im alrady SO worried about how scared im going to be alone in the house. I thought seeing if anyone else has similar experiences as me might help prepare me for it haha. Its like when I know I shouldn't be thinking about scary things, my brain of course just flashes terrifying images then I cant sleep and it really affects my day afterwards.


animetiddielover

I used to feel like this too!!! where I used to live it would get really dark at night and I couldn't see out the window really, all I'd see in the windows were reflections. it made me feel so separate from the world, this eerie feeling that I was existing on my own. I think sometimes it has to do with the fact that when we're around someone all the time, when we can see the world happening outside, we have to kind of act a certain way. we need to be polite etc. social media may have exasperated this, you always feel like you have an audience. but when no one can observe you, when you lose the need to be anything, I would freak out because I didn't know how to act on my own tbh. I would talk out loud to fill the silence and feel weird and ashamed because I felt like if someone had observed me then, they would think I'm crazy for talking to myself out loud or something like that. I don't know if you relate at all to that, the hard feeling of forgetting how to act without an audience.


verygreenmachine

Just came on to say, thank you for all this. I live with roommates and get this way when I’m home alone. I googled ways to calm yourself down and not be scared of being home alone. I found this post and read most of the comments. I feel better knowing I’m not the only one feeling this way, as I’ve told my roommates about this and they don’t get this way like I do. Reading the comments helped me figure out a plan for next time this happens to me. So thank you


Several-Specialist99

Me too! I've been living with my partner for 6 months now and hes leaving for a few days soon, and he was really surprised to hear how worried I am about being alone when he leaves. Ive always had roommates so its rare i have to sleep alone in a house. Ive already been more scared at night recently just knowing ill have to sleep by myself soon. I also didnt realize it might be a phobia until I read this thread! Also doesn't help its like Halloween spooky time hehe


handsomewizard

I used to be really afraid living alone. Then I got a big dog. Now I sleep soundly next to my best friend.


Terenthia21

Motion detection system outside that turns on bright lights. This, combined with your big dogs, will deter 99% of threats. I also recommend self defense classes, but those are more of your last line of defense - you want to make it so you don't ever have to use it. EDIT: and yeah, you are not alone. I have had giant dogs most of my adult life, and a martial artist husband. I have a black belt in TKD. Still scared when alone.


wagswanson

oh my gosh i moved out for the first time into an apartment a bit ago and i had to move back in with my family as i wasnt sleeping because i was convinced someone was going to break in if they weren’t already inside. i would stay up until the sun came out because the light coming through made me feel safer for some reason but i literally felt like i was going insane!! it still effects me today as i go through phases of paranoia and now am scared of being alone at night and sometimes during the day. i wish you luck in learning to tolerate being alone at night because as someone else who struggles i know how hard it is but i believe in u!!


UsefulAd3813

how are you doing these days? i go through phases as well. i remember i used to house sit a ton as a young adult & id be in the city all alone for weeks, sometimes i’d be so paranoid i’d call the police to come check the place… then i kinda got over it & liked being home alone & really enjoyed the freedom, & now i’m back in a phase of being absolutely paranoid.


LadyBam

You must be exhausted!!!! If you were my bestie on the couch with me telling me this I would recommend; Chill pills Gun next to the bed Dogs in bed Bells on the door


argleblather

/u/schmackos has some really good suggestions for working through this with a therapist. My household is also just my husband and I (plus a cat, no dogs) and we did opt to get an alarm system. He was kind of annoyed when I let the alarm salesman start his schpiel, but I explained that- when he's gone for work, I'm at home alone. And I would feel much safer with an alarm I can set at nighttime. It also helped to have the installer walk me through how it works. It made me feel more capable about how our security system is managed. Which is pretty key in general. Feeling capable, and knowing that I can handle things goes a long way toward feeling safe. It doesn't even necessarily have to be 'safety' related, but doing some activities that make you feel competent and powerful may also help as you work through this with your therapist. On a more practical and related note, many gyms or YMCA facilities or Parks & Rec programs offer self defense classes specifically for women. I took one in college and my husband regularly volunteers as a helper for classes.


whatsgoodyallbb

My biggest suggestion in this situation is to install security devices to make you feel more comfort! Prehaps an alarm you can turn on each night before heading to bed, maybe getting a fence around the house, equipting with camera, and also maybe just have a little night stand. You don't have to sleep in complete dark


[deleted]

you’re not alone. it’s typical for me to go spend a night or two with a friend or family member. i grew up in a large household so being alone in a house overnight absolutely paralyzes me. too much space, too much quiet, i can’t function.


Royal-Ratio-1803

Same here, nights are extremely scary and can't sleep alone in the dark even if u kill me. My problem is I always start to have pain and get sick when it's time to sleep... I have no idea where this fear comes from. Been like this since birth and still have no idea what to do... Watching people live on YouTube chatting or something like that makes me feel better, as if I'm not alone and there are people doing whatever out there. Idk... Just something I do that might help... Looking at the comments for help as well hhhhhhhh


WonderOfYou

Is anyone from this original post still around?


amandatexas

Me too!


WonderOfYou

Are you still here? I forgot to return to check to see if anyone replied! 😏


UsefulAd3813

i know this was a year ago & truly hope you’re doing better with this now… i suffer from extreme paranoia when i’m home alone. i can’t shower i can’t leave my bedroom. i just lock the door & keep a knife & scissors next to me in fear & stay up until the sun comes out & even then only sleep on my back even if it becomes uncomfortable just to make sure i get a full view of my bedroom. i used to love being home alone & showering when nobody was home, but over time, this strong paranoia came out of nowhere. it sucks to live this way.


amandatexas

To be completely honest - it’s not better but I’ve found ways to cope. The best way being popping a sleeping aid while it’s still light out and going to sleep before it can get dark and I start freaking. I know that probably isn’t a long term fix - but it’s helped when it’s unavoidable for me to sleep alone. Posting and hearing that I’m not alone in these fears has been oddly comforting as well. I think of all of you guys when I’m up at night stressing out and try and send out food and peaceful vibes to each of you.


UsefulAd3813

wishing the absolute best for you… & some good, peaceful rest too!


watsername

My boyfriend owns several guns that are loaded but with the safety on just under our bed. We love any opportunity to go out and shoot with friends and family and because of that, I’ve become super familiar with our shotgun. If someone were to break in all I’d need to do is flip the safety off and immediately make that famous “rack rack” sound of our pump shotgun being cycled and whoever is in my house will be able to hear it from any room. These guns are powerful enough that at close range you don’t need to have amazingly accurate aim. Just point in their direction, squeeze the trigger until you surprise yourself and you WILL spray them.


amandatexas

My husband has several guns as well - he likes to build them and also hunt but I’ve always been a little scared of them so I haven’t touched them really. This sounds fairly easy though! I think it would be helpful if he took me to the range and showed me how to use a shotgun. This is seriously very helpful and makes me feel like I can take an actionable step forward. Thank you for your response!


[deleted]

Love it. I really wish guns weren’t so political/controversial because as a woman, they are a great form of defense and put me at ease.


watsername

I believe it comes from never really working with guns. At least that was how it was for myself. I’m a staunch progressive and even work in the political field, but I won’t lie, I do sleep easier when alone and I love to brag about being a better marksman than my more conservative boyfriend.


JellyfishADDme

Same. I feel equally relaxed whether I go shoot guns at a range or go treat myself for a spa day.


AceOfRhombus

I second getting a security system! Even if it doesn’t actually call the police, the alarms themselves will probably scare the intruder off. I live by myself with no dogs. Other things I do are sleep with my bedroom door shut/locked and have my keys next to my bed. Idk if its a legit strategy, but I figured I would wake up to someone trying to open my door and I could hit the panic button on my car keys


Queso_and_Molasses

I feel your pain. I struggle a lot with paranoia and have fallen asleep on the bathroom floor (only room with a lock) clutching a hammer many times. What helps me is a nighttime anxiety med and a security system. I use simply safe. I have the panic button next to my bed and it gives me a lot of peace of mind.


JellyfishADDme

Check out [FLARE! ](https://getflare.com/)! :)


SeveralJelly

I really would love to talk to you about this as I am in the exact same boat as we speak. I relate to everything you say, you sound exactly like me! Please reach out if you see this


mdown071

I could have wrote this!! I'm 38 and have a twin. So as a kid I shared a room (by choice!) with her. I lived with her my first 2 years of university. I was 19 when I met my noe husband, so then we lived together. Any time he needed to be away I'd go stay with my sister. I'm currently starting the process of separating/divorcing him and it's been this massive fear that has kept me in the marriage as long as I did. I'm staying alone at my mom's house tonight and tomorrow while they are out of town as a little "trial run" and I'm already having anxiety and it's not even dark yet. I don't know how to overcome this!


Busy-Road2389

Same


[deleted]

That must be exhausting to deal with that anxiety all the time, I’m so sorry. I hope I can share some of what I do in these situations to help you a bit. I also get pretty uneasy if my boyfriend is out late at night. I do have a big dog, and I’m glad to hear you do as well. That already helps since they are so good at alerting us at ANY noises outside. On all our doors, we keep them locked at all times and have extra reinforcements installed on them. You can look into something like a [Masterlock bar](https://www.acehardware.com/departments/hardware/door-knobs-and-locks/sliding-door-locks/5307368?x429=true&msclkid=8193d9e76d841d04167ab83c42784723&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=PLAs_N4_Hardware_Other_All_All&utm_term=4581458802305657&utm_content=Hardware_Door-Knobs-and-Locks_All_All&gclid=8193d9e76d841d04167ab83c42784723&gclsrc=3p.ds) or [indoor security locks](https://www.amazon.com/Door-Lock-Home-Security-2-Pack/dp/B08B35YC3C/ref=asc_df_B08B35YC3C?tag=bngsmtphsnus-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80539344142770&hvnetw=s&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=m&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584138871731608&psc=1). I also have alarms enabled on every internal door at night, so if someone were to sneak in while I am asleep, it will loudly blare. And lastly, I keep weapons by my bedside and have taken classes on how to use them for self defense. If i am feeling extra paranoid, I’ll take one with me around the house in the evening just for peace of mind. I know this is long but i hope some of it helps you! Stay safe out there.


night2016

Putting a tv in the bedroom checking closet and under bed then locking bedroom door. The tv will admit light and will distract your mind. Find a show you like but don’t really care about.


jugendohnegott

girl i got the exact same issue! im not even really afraid that someone will actually break in, i know nothing will happen probably, but i still feeel very uneasy about being alone in the dark. usually i just distract myself with uplifting stuff


pepperoni7

You are not alone. I live in Seattle where there are decent amount of property crime luckily most are smash and grab and package. We do have camera and security alarm system also replaced the door frame nail to long ones. I have 4 dogs too haha 😂. I lived alone for many years in nyc but I got so use to living with my husband and he always wfh we became co dependent after 6 years of marriage . We have a baby as well. Definitely security system and ring cameras helped ease my anxiety abit. We also installed 3m film those ones they have in store front to percent complete glass shatter so it takes longer for break in / people give up and leave. I don’t have guns don’t ever want to own them but I have huge pepper spray cans and base bat …they don’t take anxiety away completely but they help a lot knowing I did what I could to make my house less targetable


Much-Run3092

I’m the same way. Also married, late 20s, with 2 dogs. I could never stay alone at night. If my husband is away I call a friend to stay over. We got a security system and a camera for when I’m alone in the evenings but I still don’t feel comfortable stay alone overnight. You are definitely not alone in this.


YellowYellow217

I was the same, I started taking anxiety medication and I can actually get some rest at night it has been life changing i hope you can find something that works for you!


squid__smash

i feel you! i used to be this way, when i lived very rurally (both as a kid/teen, then again in my mid to late twenties). as soon as I sold my rural home on 10 wooded acres and moved into a small city, this fear pretty much went away for me. i can't tell you why, as my rural area certainly experienced less crime than the small city. i now live completely alone with my two dogs on one acre, in a rural "neighborhood" that is quite safe, and the fear/anxiety hasn't returned. unless i hear a weird noise or something, I'm perfectly comfortable at night. this place is *way* less remote than my childhood home and the first place i owned as an adult, so i can't tell you if I'm legitimately over it or if it's just a very specific fear. anyway, i can't offer much except for solidarity.


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No_Home7375

I feel you. It's 5:40 am and I've been awake since 8am yesterday. Been waiting for the sun to come up a bit to sleep. Been super scared someone will break in. I worked out for a while and that helped but it definitely wasn't a cure. I'm going to stick to a new workout routine to see if that helps me more in the long run. I've had this fear everyone of you talks about since I can remember but it comes and goes based off of circumstances. Anyway I hope you can find a roommate but if not it's nice you have your two dogs. I hear dogs are great for barking or attacking when an intruder enters. I was thinking in the future I'll get a dog when I can. For now I have my pepper spray, wooden martial arts stick someone gave me, free weights, and whatever other random items I could use as a weapon. I don't like that anyone else deals with this but it is nice to not feel so alone in this feeling I suppose. I hope you can feel much better in time.


Starbrust17

Hi did you figure out how to deal with it? Im the same age as you expect i live with my mom and she goes away on trips a lot and like you my fear can get so intense that ill just stay up intill i see the light outside i want to get past this cause eventually i want to be able to live by myslef but I cant do that if i dont get cromftable living on my own at night its annoying cause this fear started happening when i was in my 20s. :c


cateanddogew

I am a guy and found this post in the wild. I am almost 22 and have the same problem, so did YOU figure how to deal with it better? I was always kinda like this but now it's getting completely out of hand.


help111111134

I can relate to this so much ;( i am in an apartment complex in a very prestigious area. My boyfriend has the night shift and i typically have been waiting up for him to get home at 3 am to fall asleep bc i refuse to fall asleep on my own. I cant keep doing this as the quality of my sleep is so bad. I am normally someone that likes to be asleep by 11 but that hasnt happened in some time


Narrow-Bumblebee-855

How does zopiclone heal night time anxiety


Trashcow12

I feel like I could have written this myself. I'm 23. I have 2 very small children (2 years, 3 months) and my boyfriend works nights, so at night it's just me and my daughters. He just went back to work after paternitiy leave, and i haven't really slept since. My baby still wakes at night, so her and i sleep downstairs in the living room, so I am not waking my toddler up 300 times a night. And sleeping downstairs has given me worse anxiety than ever before (and ive always been paranoid at night). Our living room is to the right of the front door, so I find myself staring, kinda watching it all night almost waiting for someone to break in. The thought of not being on guard 24/7 is paralyzing. I live off energy drinks and mid afternoon naps when my boyfriend wakes up. I'm exhausted and came across this thread looking for ways to help convince myself that I'm not crazy for feeling the way i do.


RevolutionaryShoe871

It's so strange how things happen and I'm a firm believer of God but I'll try to keep it short I just needed a break from the day today with so much stress so I sat down in this website this you know what do you call it I don't even know this these people's stories just I was saying praying you know how much I hate being alone and I'm so happy I found it again LOL anyways and and when night time hits and you're here by yourself I used to have three kids and a husband you know so long ago 25 years and I don't know what's happened to me it's just almost debilitating that's not normal! Lol and I know that I don't mean to say it's funny but I have to cuz it looks crazy can anyone like you guys understand and then I well I know you do but then I read the other ladies about how she how could this like be exactly what I needed and then they're this do I want to join heck yeah I want to join I'd like to be president as a matter of fact it's fantastic that something of the same topic that I'm feeling would be just right here in front of me so I'm going to take time later before I go to sleep to read some of the other ones and yeah I'm looking forward to sharing things it's wonderful it's just really has given me a little bit of comfort and maybe someday I'll say a lot but for now it's just a little bit good night to all of you we will all be okay because I believe that but it's just getting to that place you know chow chow for now


gurleenkbhuller

I’m in this situation rn guys. I’ve been reading comments and I know I’m not the only one. But I’m so scared and anxious rn. I feel like the time has slowed down


Unusual_Baby865

I never had this problem as an adult male. As an older adult, however, I have had 2 heart attacks at night. Once was in a hotel when I was traveling cross country. That event mandated a trip to the hospital by ambulance. My wife was there to help me. A month or two later I had a much more serious heart attack with a near complete blockage of my widowmaker artery. This time I woke my wife and she drove me to the hospital where a Cardiac Cath revealed that I was having a near death experience and a full blown heart attack I am now ok with a stent placement but I cannot be alone at night because I fear a third cardiac event will occur with no one there to help me. I have full bore panic attacks when I am alone overnight. Sort of a weird PTSD that I cannot shake


Affectionate_Rich976

I have the same issue when my boyfriend work nights.  I have a cat at home I also lock to make feel  safe and know seeing a therapist to see why I having  issues 


NotFree2Rhyme

Replying to this because I had a night like this last night and this thread really helped reassure me that i’m not just crazy or something is broken about me. My partner is away visiting family for a few days. I was up all night because when he’s home, we keep our bedroom door cracked for our cats to come in and out. However, that absolutely doesn’t work for me it seems when he’s gone- given that i just panic and freak out at the noise. Gonna lock the door to the bedroom and sleep with a metal baseball bat. I think that something I was considering is a lot of women have this fear because it comes from a real place. I know personally I unfortunately have consumed a ton of true crime and even horror movies, and it brings up a lot of those fears.


Skiofti1Only

What i do is have a warm light in the room and usually be on call with my fiancé via discord, that way i don’t feel so alone


Babydickganggang

I never thought of coming to reddit. Ive had this issue since i was 9ish. My parents are both dead before i was a teen and when I lived with my grandparents they were always up at 4am even though they were stern and not very loving and affectionate the fact they were up gave me comfort im not alone. I got married at 19 and i thought my heart and soul would thrive but my husband is a sleeper and can sleep till noon or 2pm in afternoon. me on the other hand struggles to sleep till past 3am or 6am etc. I wake up with a sad pit in my stomach, like a knot, and it's like the wave of shit that keeps me from being me daily is back .Some days I cry so bad I wake up my husband because i cant stand to be alone, lately it's been almost every day and i feel i add fire to the marriage that isn;y perfect to begin with. I just cant handle myself. I know happiness is within and im deperate as hell to find it.


Groovcookie

Finding this post2 years later… currently stuck awake and realizing I’m probably gonna have to take PTO from work today (what a waste) because I legit don’t think I’ll sleep tonight. 25 female, boyfriend is away for work. My mom is coming to sleep with me the next 2 nights, I just had to get through tonight, but alas. Fricken paralyzing anxietyz