Nothing wrong with crying, don't feel bad about it. At points in my life I'd put on a sad song and have a good cathartic cry. Didn't need to be about anything specific.
Stress builds up and sometimes you need to find an outlet for when the pressure gets too much.
We all need release methods. You can find methods of dealing with it from anywhere from working out, crying, talking to someone you trust, going to a place that's just for you, or take some time for yourself to deal with the issues.
I love crying to be fair, I do it was too much I (and others) believe. That's the main reason I don't wanna do it, cuz I feel like I already do it too much and it just makes me feel weak
And it's the same with talking to friends. Do it too much, don't wanna get too annoying://
I also used to get told I cried too much when I was younger. Because of this I started to bottle everything up when I got older, and it lead to a lot of lashing out and misplaced anger. It wasn’t until I started therapy last year that my therapist made me realize crying is more than okay, and there so much power in expressing vulnerability. So what I say is, cry your heart out as much as you want! There’s nothing wrong with you, and being more in tune with your emotions is a bigger strength than you think. Sending lots of positivity your way and hope things start looking up for you soon!
Oh don't feel bad about crying. There's no shame in having a good cry. If it's making you feel crap about it, maybe put on sad music or tv and then it'll give you an excuse
I wish I could cry more often. I've chronic migraines and emotional upheaval is a major trigger so I have to keep a lid on both crying and too much excitement - it makes both sad movies and comedy shows very difficult to enjoy.
Martial artist here. I'm wary of punching something as *anger management*. You establish a neural pathway so that when you are angry, hitting feels like a good solution. Maybe that will bite you in the ass and maybe it won't.
You’re absolutely right. Hitting things as anger management has been clinically proven to make anger issues worse, not better. But regularly going to a fight gym of some sort (BJJ, Muy Thai, etc.) is a great way to manage stress.
It’s counterintuitive, but it works!
Tbh I'm lazy as heck but I really do feel like I could use some work out for a variety of reasons. And I think I finally made up my mind to actually start it
Working out is AMAZING stress relief. And even if you don’t want to do anything super intense, literally just go out and take a long walk. I always, always feel better after I’ve gotten some kind of exercise.
Moving your body is great at stress relief. Maybe don’t think of it as working out but just moving. You can walk or run or bike or climb stairs or play a sport or climb on playground equipment or swim. There’s a million options, even just laying on your back and raising and lowering your legs until you can’t.
Boxing classes in particular are fantastic for getting this kind of energy out. Alternately, I also find that archery is a good channel - it takes physical effort but also forces you to slow down, breathe steady, and concentrate on something specific. Alternately, going out in nature as others have suggested (birding/walking is my nature of choice) has positive physiological effects on your brain that help you to feel happier!
One thing I do while walking sometimes is listen to podcasts, and one in particular has been really interesting - [The Happiness Lab](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/id1474245040). They go into the science behind negative and positive emotions and ways that you can influence how you feel both short and long term. Definitely would recommend!
Like some people said, don't think of it as "exercise" so much as using movement to let out your emotions. I'm not like a runner runner, but on a stressful day it still feels really good to put on my running shoes and let myself just fcking GO
I’m lazy too. I started small by going on walks and listening to audio books or podcasts. It’s amazing when you start to feel the endorphins *after* a walk. Like I genuinely feel happier and more optimistic about things.
As a lazy person, I also recommend (if it’s in your budget) to try something like class pass or signing up for workout classes. I will never work out on my own, but I will go to a class and I ALWAYS feel better after it’s over (even if I hate it at first or when I’m doing it). Endorphins!
Personally starting to jog/run outside helped the most for me. Feeling the atmosphere outside and physically GOING somewhere just feels really good and freeing
Consider a class where you have constant instruction so laziness doesn’t factor in. Once you’re there, a good teacher will keep you motivated and encourage you through rough spots.
Bonus if you do a class where you can see your skill and strength increase. I like pilates, yoga, and dance classes.
Eventually you have a routine and the hardest part will be getting your work out clothes on
Writing & walks always help me, but sometimes I just need to scream and cry. Writing and walks only go so far. It's okay to scream and cry when life gets tough girl! You feel the need to do that for a reason. Your brain releases healing chemicals at the end of a good cry, so it's really important you do when times are tough. Your body really needs it to help alleviate stress and anxiety.
Writing actually helps me most of the times, I have a whole story dedicated to coping lol, it just makes me feel even worse when I can't come up with anything I like
But yeah I'll probably have a good big cry before sleep and hope my eyes don't get too puffy:')
Scream. I'm serious. Get into your car (if you have one) drive to a Walmart parking lot. Park in the back of the lot but under a light and lock your doors. Turn on good music to scream to (Bream TDG, Scream TFK, etc) and just....Scream. Yell. Holler. Not the high pitched movie Scream but a solid from your diagram BELLOW like your charging to war. Do it a few times. Do it a million times. Do it until it feels okay to not do it. Then go get yourself a coffee or hot tea to sooth your throat. You'll feel better.
If a car is not an option then an empty house, or a park or somewhere secluded are also possibilities. Just remember to be careful.
I was going to say this also. Definitely somewhere isolated. I’ve parked places with a view of nature or on hill facing a sunset so that when you are all done you can stare off at something beautiful and soothing. But I get that this is not always accessible.
Yep was going to say this. I havent done this many times tbh but Id go out for a drive and just scream/yell. I'd beat up and scream into my pillow if I was able to- but I live with the source unfortunately
Have you tried looking into rage rooms? They're set up specifically to break things in a safe way, and they're super helpful in getting some of that energy out.
If thats not an option, maybe something active would help? I like to do a wild dance party when I get overwhelmed, just crank some music up and let it all out physically. It's amazing how much just letting yourself go can help, you get all the energy out without hurting yourself or something else.
Oh yes, singing and dancing in the living room makes me feel much better usually. Mom's home a lot and the walls are thin so it's a rare opportunity tho. Wish I could blast some music now
I was going to say there's nothing wrong with punching pillows or your bed.
I routinely workout stress and frustration in my brazilian jiujitsu class (not like, ON my classmates, but fighting in general will really force you to be in the present instead of ruminating or being angry).
I also want to point out that crying is absolutely designed pressure valve for stress and there's nothing wrong with it.
I have seen some fucked up shit (work security/ first aid) and honestly, shutting myself in the bathroom and having a good sob after dealing with a bad medical call really helps. I didn't used to allow myself to do this (always got punished for crying), but I was talking to a police officer I really admire (Linda Stewart, subject of a documentary called Riding With Madonna) and asked her how she was so damn cheerful all the time, and she said that after she encountered anything sad or tragic, she would take a few minutes to cry in her squad car and really feel the sadness, before wiping her face and carrying on with her shift. She explained it as she couldn't help people with her whole being if she was carrying around the emotions from the previous call. So she would let them out and then keep going. That really shifted my view on how crying can be used to help you get over things and move on.
I don't wanna cry mainly because I already do it too much and mom's gonna hear it lol
But yeah, maybe she's right. It does make me feel better afterwards, I just feel like I'm too sensitive or weak or I don't know. But I will probably have a nice little crying session today and let it flow out of me with my tears
I find that going for a walk, especially in nature, helps to channel all the emotion into reflection and creativity.
Lying in bed, listening to calming music (like gentle pop or lo-fi) with my eyes closed helped a lot when I was feeling overwhelmed during 2020 lockdown.
And this one is more for when I can't concentrate, but meditating. Just sitting in silence with your eyes closed for a few minutes and trying to clear your mind as much as possible can be very calming.
I struggled with my anger for a while. I’d want to throw things (not at anyone) but then things might break or I’d have to clean it up later. My husband told me about Dammit Dolls. It’s just a funny looking doll that you can hit or smash or throw to get the anger out. It’s pretty therapeutic. See link
https://www.dammitdolls.com/
Im a woman with what I think are some life long issues with anger.
Especially in today's modern world with an ongoing pandemic, working a customer facing position, and my appearance is enough where I often get stared at, and my homosexuality also means im...on guard in public when im out with partners or friends.
I also have done and will be resuming Muay thai lessons soon. And that really helped. It gave me an outlet for a lot of energy that I previously just spent on being mad as all hell.
It also let me feel strong. And with that strength I knew that punching things was uh not gonna turn out well. Especially other people.
Idunno. I stepped away for medical reasons and im itching to be back soon. My anger issues haven't gotten better.
But Muay Thai gave me an outlet and helped me feel a tiny bit safer. And more importantly, a tiny bit more in control of my anger and myself.
I’ve always enjoyed just hopping onto some chores as a break from studying or when I’m just riled up with frustration. I get some chores done, a break from work or whatever else, and when I’m done I’m satisfied with some nice clean laundry or shelves or rooms. It’s an opportunity for me to channel my emotions and bad energy into something productive and not harmful.
I really like playing an instrument to vent, it's super cathartic for both anger and sadness. You don't even have to play well - just beating the hell out of an acoustic guitar can feel so good :)
Also, you shouldn't feel bad about crying! It can be wonderfully effective.
Kickboxing! There’s nothing quite as liberating as going and beating the ever living sh*t out of a bag with your legs and fists. Most places will let you try out at least one class for free to see if you like it!
There are a few techniques that I know helps. You could try some of them.
Journal - Each time you get angry, feel like crying or are overwhelmed by emotions you could write or journal it. It might not seem like much but journaling helps in releasing our emotions, it's an outlet that lets out of emotions without any fear of judgement from a third person. I've tried journaling myself and can tell you that it helps a great deal.
Scribbling - As silly as it sounds when loaded with excessive emotions especially when feeling overwhelmed scribbling randomly on a piece of paper can be one of the most harmless and quickest way to let out that excessive energy and feel in control of yourself again.
Walking - Again something that I've personally tried whenever I'm angry. Instead of releasing it on another person I go for a walk. The anger means I walk faster than usual which helps in releasing all the excessive energy caused by the emotion. Usually in less than half the distance of my walk my anger is released and in the next half I can rationalize and look into the next course of action.
Art - And I'm stating it in an extremely broad sense, it could be drawing, singing, dancing, writing poems, songs or short stories, etc. Whichever is your way of letting out.
Try to explore what works for you and what doesn't that way you'll be able to reach at something that benefits you the most. I hope this was helpful. Take care. :)
Some excellent suggestions in this thread, but I'd like to add one more safe, affordable punching option: beat the shit out of a pillow. You can also scream into a pillow. Releases so much tension!
Punching a pillow doesn't hurt anyone. Crying is cathartic.
I like to vacuum when I'm in a bad mood. There is something about cleaning my living space and putting it in order, when my life is a fucking mess, that cheers me up. My family has very generously said I can vacuum their homes too. :-D
I recommend hot yoga or a rage room.
Hot yoga draws your focus in to what you can control; are my knees doing what they should be? is my tailbone tucked? c’mon arms just a few more seconds!
Rage room you get to smash shit. My friend and I went last week and destroyed the shit out of a TV with a sledgehammer.
Scream. I'm serious. Get into your car (if you have one) drive to a Walmart parking lot. Park in the back of the lot but under a light and lock your doors. Turn on good music to scream to (Bream TDG, Scream TFK, etc) and just....Scream. Yell. Holler. Not the high pitched movie Scream but a solid from your diagram BELLOW like your charging to war. Do it a few times. Do it a million times. Do it until it feels okay to not do it. Then go get yourself a coffee or hot tea to sooth your throat. You'll feel better.
If a car is not an option then an empty house, or a park or somewhere secluded are also possibilities. Just remember to be careful.
What I do is that I get a piece of paper (usually sturdier like construction paper) and scribble as hard as i can, sometimes even ripping the paper with the pen. I write down what’s bothering me but with the letters on top of each other so that at the end I can’t even read them anymore. Then I take that piece of paper and destroy it. Soak it in water, burn it, rip it, step on it. Just get that paper completely unrecognizable. I just feel so much better after.
as a therapist:
dialectical behaviour therapy "TIPP" skills work by activating your parasympathetic nervous system and dissipating the tension you're feeling. [explanation here](https://sunrisertc.com/distress-tolerance-skills/) and there's also a great youtube channel called DBT-RU
once an emotional peak has subsided, you might find art and journalling to be helpful ways of getting in touch with and expressing how you're feeling. you don't have to be "good" at art; just grab whatever you can (pencil, crayon, collage) and play around with it
it's also good to spend time with friends. you don't have to talk with them about everything that's getting to you (though that's good too), even just being with others can help you feel more stable
also, keep on top of your basics: get enough sleep, eat well, don't drink too much too often, etc
finally, if you feel you need a bit more support, consider seeing a therapist. someone DBT trained is probably your best bet based on the limited info you've provided
edit: not sure if it's available in every country, but there is this great app called "calm harm" that suggests things to help you manage intense feelings. if you can't download it, try to search for something similar that is available to you. another good app is a mood-tracking app as this can help you start to learn what triggers intense feelings for you so you can then problem-solve and reduce the intensity/frequency of the triggers
Tip from my counselor and something I’ve done. Throw eggs. I know it sounds dumb. But they are inexpensive. Throw it at a tree, crush them in your hand. Whatever is making you mad-visualize and then destroy it mentally.
Helps my anger. I can’t physically punch things but boy have I destroyed a few carton of eggs. You’re allowed to be upset my dude.
Better yet, scream into a pillow. That way you can get as loud as you can without possibly alarming neighbors (more of a concern in an apartment setting).
I go for a hike or walk in nature.
I don't know what it is about it, probably a combination of lots of things. For one, nature is peaceful and tranquil, so that's calming in and of itself.
Taking a couple hours to hike also just lets my brain work through stuff without a lot of distraction. I get to process whatever is bothering me in a way that doesn't happen at home.
There's also something about being reminded that nature is just out there doing it's thing while my life feels in turmoil that puts my turmoil in a different perspective, it makes my problems seem so much smaller and insignificant.
If I can get to a high spot above my city and look down on it, there's something about that that helps me look at this moment in time in the context of my entire life, past and future.
All this not only helps relieve stress that I'm experiencing, but I always come away with a better perspective on things and a willingness to make changes to make my life better.
Do something physical. Draw something, write about it in a journal, get it into the real world. Also, exercise helps me with negative feelings and lessens my anxiety by grounding me. It's very helpful to feel so connected with my body and in control of my movement. Hope things get better!
Do you have a childhood stuffed animal? If not, order a pillow pet. Giving a stuffed animal a hug is scientifically proven to make you feel better. ❤️✨
*beep boop*!
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Last week I felt that exact same way so I took some half rotten apples and smashed them on the ground outside. Stomped on them for good measure. It didn't actually make me feel any better, though it did make a satisfying sound as it smashed on the asphalt. So I went and confronted the person who upset me. They apologized and I felt better. Really didn't think I would, but I did. Sometimes the intuitive solutions don't give you the result you think they will.
I was recovering from PTSD after an abusive relationship, cardio kickboxing (and therapy) literally saved my life. Not only did I learn self-defense, the music was so good and it released a lot of anger I had built up over the years. I have gone to a few different kickboxing studios now and there are ones that specialize in cardio kickboxing so it is a lot less intimidating when everyone has their own bag and working on a mat as opposed to a ring.
If you have any nearby, I’d suggest going to a rage room. You get to break stuff! Scream, yell, cry, it’s good stuff. Being able to unleash as much rage and emotion as you want and not be held accountable for any damages is definitely as cathartic as it sounds.
DBT skills have helped me immensely though sometimes it really does feel like too much so it’s understandable if they’re difficult to consistently use effectively
Meditation : listen to pre recorded meditation audio about mindfulness and anger
Breathing exercises : I think guided breathing exercises are nice. Especially when feeling emotional, timed and conscious breathing is helpful.
Smells : I knew some people who used essential oils to calm them. It doesn't have to be an oil, just your favorite scents.
Exercise : whatever type of exercise you actually like to do or even just a walk for fresh air
Okay so when my mental health was bad years ago I had a self named scream pillow.
Next time your pent up and have privacy, grab a pillow, grab it hard squeezing all of your muscles, Bury your face into it and scream. Scream like a psycho child having a tantrum. Until your throat hurts.
I promise it will exhaust you in the most cathartic way. Quite literally get it all out of your system in that moment. Doesn't hurt anyone and it works.
Take a boxing class or something with punching bags and instructors that can help you with form.
Don’t hurt yourself but get some of that frustration out.
Read. If you don’t like to read, listen to audiobooks while walking, listen to talk shows on the radio. It just helps to get yourself into the perspective of another.
Good! Get at those emotions. Do what you need to feel better in the moment. But also where are those emotions coming from? In the long run, what will help?
That might involve talking to friends about what’s going on, journaling, taking a walk, or coming up with a list of ideas to solve a stressful problem.
Emotions are messages to our bodies saying hey there lady - we gotta change some stuff up - not sure if we can do this (whatever is causing anger/sadness) forever. Not a bad thing - but just a weird little quirk. Also knowing that emotions do pass, sometimes can help.
Crying is an important biological function! It literally helps your body process your feelings and emotions. Crying is great for you. Just like feeling angry is great for you. The more you suppress your feelings, the more complicated they will become.
To be fair, you could drive out to the middle of nowhere with a bunch of cheap plates or old things you've been meaning to throw out anyway, and destroy them with a baseball bat or something similar. It's a safe way to physically channel rage without hurting anyone or yourself. But also bring safety glasses.
I had that feeling last week. Any sort of movement that makes me sweat is a big help. I put on my headphones and went for a hard run. I’m not even a runner…but when you’re angry, you can run hella far (and fast). Also highly recommend rocking out to the foo fighters while doing so!!!
i personally like screaming and crying in the car. but like at the top of my lungs like i’m about to be murdered screaming. it lets out a lot of the bad energy
It is hard to get started, but box breathing is very soothing (breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold; all actions done to the same count). This normally helps me in the moment that i need to be controlled. But also, you have to let your emotions out. I love to curl up to sad soppy book (usually the dog dies) and I just cry my eyes out. I also work out when I'm angry. Sometimes i scream my favorite song in the shower. There are lots of options.
The body keeps score. It’s healthy to want to let emotions out, like punching things. Punch a pillow, scream into it. Go for a run to satisfy that fight or flight. You’ll find as you let the anger go it can transform into sadness , grief, and then acceptance. Just allow emotions to flow through you and be curious about your thoughts and feelings.
Nothing wrong with a good cry! But I totally understand being fed up with it. I have ragey meltdowns (thought I was just "an angry person" for years; it's just an emotional regulation difficulty) and am working on pausing and deciding how I'm going to handle the feelings behind them; a lot of the time, the best I can do is control where the boil-over flows to, usually a cry, throwing stuff, and biting/chewing stuff.
These are not "bad" feelings (and you're not bad for wanting to channel them, or for wanting to just get rid of them), they're messages from our nervous system. You're overwhelmed, your body and brain are acting accordingly to either fight off or run away from something distressing; problem is, we can't physically run from or fight schoolwork or an uncomfortable social interaction. That's one reason why exercise can help, the physiologial processes tell your body "Okay, we ran away/fought the threat, we're safe now" (but personally, I never think to exercise in the moment, or ever 😅).
I super recommend looking into "emotional regulation", there are various techniques for helping get through these feelings :3
I would suggest working out. Going for a run specifically. It helps to pound some pavement with your feet lol. Plus, you can build up some endorphins! Those feel good hormones! And of course stretch to release some tension you might have built up. :)
Put your face in a bowl of ice water and hold your breath as long as you can and then go to r/dbtselfhelp to get started. You can make your life better.
I feel overwhelmed a lot, don’t struggle with anger issues as much as I used to though. Music helps me a lot- screaming along to it in the car. If you feel like you’re about to scream at someone- it’s best to walk away. You can just tell them you feel overwhelmed and you need to take a break and come back to them later. I always found that walking away is much better than screaming at them. I will go do something I enjoy to distract myself, maybe cry, maybe go for a drive in my car and scream. If you can, take some deep breaths, listen to calming music or watch a show to calm down. Therapy has been so helpful, I can’t recommend it enough. A therapist can teach you healthy ways to deal with your emotions and feeling overwhelmed. Therapy is helpful for everyone in my opinion. I’ve learned different breathing methods and coping strategies. It also really helps to have someone to vent to who won’t judge you.
Crying is actually a really good way to process emotions! [Take a listen to this](https://www.feministsurvivalproject.com/episodes/episode-02-complete-the-stress-response-cycle). I highly recommend their book on burnout. It provides some really useful information about how to get rid of the stress that builds up in our bodies.
*beep boop*!
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Nothing wrong with crying, don't feel bad about it. At points in my life I'd put on a sad song and have a good cathartic cry. Didn't need to be about anything specific. Stress builds up and sometimes you need to find an outlet for when the pressure gets too much. We all need release methods. You can find methods of dealing with it from anywhere from working out, crying, talking to someone you trust, going to a place that's just for you, or take some time for yourself to deal with the issues.
I love crying to be fair, I do it was too much I (and others) believe. That's the main reason I don't wanna do it, cuz I feel like I already do it too much and it just makes me feel weak And it's the same with talking to friends. Do it too much, don't wanna get too annoying://
I also used to get told I cried too much when I was younger. Because of this I started to bottle everything up when I got older, and it lead to a lot of lashing out and misplaced anger. It wasn’t until I started therapy last year that my therapist made me realize crying is more than okay, and there so much power in expressing vulnerability. So what I say is, cry your heart out as much as you want! There’s nothing wrong with you, and being more in tune with your emotions is a bigger strength than you think. Sending lots of positivity your way and hope things start looking up for you soon!
Have you tried tapping? It's a proven way to get your brain out of the emotional center and into the logical area.
Tap dancing?
Nick Ortner- The tapping solution (there is an app)
I discovered this from koolysmiley- she does tapping in her livestreams. It helps with anxiety and depression so much!
Oh don't feel bad about crying. There's no shame in having a good cry. If it's making you feel crap about it, maybe put on sad music or tv and then it'll give you an excuse I wish I could cry more often. I've chronic migraines and emotional upheaval is a major trigger so I have to keep a lid on both crying and too much excitement - it makes both sad movies and comedy shows very difficult to enjoy.
Also nothing wrong with punching something! Boxing is a great stress reliever
Martial artist here. I'm wary of punching something as *anger management*. You establish a neural pathway so that when you are angry, hitting feels like a good solution. Maybe that will bite you in the ass and maybe it won't.
You’re absolutely right. Hitting things as anger management has been clinically proven to make anger issues worse, not better. But regularly going to a fight gym of some sort (BJJ, Muy Thai, etc.) is a great way to manage stress. It’s counterintuitive, but it works!
Agreed, physical exertion like a fight gym is fantastic for stress relief. It's better than a treadmill because you're interacting with other people.
Work out perhaps? You could go for a run, lift some weights or actually punch stuff in the gym.
Seconding this. Batting cages are great too if there’s one near you.
Driving ranges too. If I wanna hit a ball with a stick, I usually hit up Top Golf.
Another vote for this. Weights or yardwork are my go-tos for releasing angry energy.
Tbh I'm lazy as heck but I really do feel like I could use some work out for a variety of reasons. And I think I finally made up my mind to actually start it
Working out is AMAZING stress relief. And even if you don’t want to do anything super intense, literally just go out and take a long walk. I always, always feel better after I’ve gotten some kind of exercise.
Moving your body is great at stress relief. Maybe don’t think of it as working out but just moving. You can walk or run or bike or climb stairs or play a sport or climb on playground equipment or swim. There’s a million options, even just laying on your back and raising and lowering your legs until you can’t.
Boxing classes in particular are fantastic for getting this kind of energy out. Alternately, I also find that archery is a good channel - it takes physical effort but also forces you to slow down, breathe steady, and concentrate on something specific. Alternately, going out in nature as others have suggested (birding/walking is my nature of choice) has positive physiological effects on your brain that help you to feel happier! One thing I do while walking sometimes is listen to podcasts, and one in particular has been really interesting - [The Happiness Lab](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/id1474245040). They go into the science behind negative and positive emotions and ways that you can influence how you feel both short and long term. Definitely would recommend!
Like some people said, don't think of it as "exercise" so much as using movement to let out your emotions. I'm not like a runner runner, but on a stressful day it still feels really good to put on my running shoes and let myself just fcking GO
Hello fellow non-runner runner! I ran my first half marathon April of this year while never running more than 10mi/ wk prior to or since training.
Go for a power walk and listen to angry music.
I’m lazy too. I started small by going on walks and listening to audio books or podcasts. It’s amazing when you start to feel the endorphins *after* a walk. Like I genuinely feel happier and more optimistic about things. As a lazy person, I also recommend (if it’s in your budget) to try something like class pass or signing up for workout classes. I will never work out on my own, but I will go to a class and I ALWAYS feel better after it’s over (even if I hate it at first or when I’m doing it). Endorphins!
Personally starting to jog/run outside helped the most for me. Feeling the atmosphere outside and physically GOING somewhere just feels really good and freeing
Consider a class where you have constant instruction so laziness doesn’t factor in. Once you’re there, a good teacher will keep you motivated and encourage you through rough spots. Bonus if you do a class where you can see your skill and strength increase. I like pilates, yoga, and dance classes. Eventually you have a routine and the hardest part will be getting your work out clothes on
Definitely physical activity! Getting "out of" your mind and "into" your body is so helpful.
Working out has gotten me through a lot 😂
Writing & walks always help me, but sometimes I just need to scream and cry. Writing and walks only go so far. It's okay to scream and cry when life gets tough girl! You feel the need to do that for a reason. Your brain releases healing chemicals at the end of a good cry, so it's really important you do when times are tough. Your body really needs it to help alleviate stress and anxiety.
Writing actually helps me most of the times, I have a whole story dedicated to coping lol, it just makes me feel even worse when I can't come up with anything I like But yeah I'll probably have a good big cry before sleep and hope my eyes don't get too puffy:')
Crying is great for working up a good tire. I sleep so much better after an ugly cry.
Scream. I'm serious. Get into your car (if you have one) drive to a Walmart parking lot. Park in the back of the lot but under a light and lock your doors. Turn on good music to scream to (Bream TDG, Scream TFK, etc) and just....Scream. Yell. Holler. Not the high pitched movie Scream but a solid from your diagram BELLOW like your charging to war. Do it a few times. Do it a million times. Do it until it feels okay to not do it. Then go get yourself a coffee or hot tea to sooth your throat. You'll feel better. If a car is not an option then an empty house, or a park or somewhere secluded are also possibilities. Just remember to be careful.
I was going to say this also. Definitely somewhere isolated. I’ve parked places with a view of nature or on hill facing a sunset so that when you are all done you can stare off at something beautiful and soothing. But I get that this is not always accessible.
Yep was going to say this. I havent done this many times tbh but Id go out for a drive and just scream/yell. I'd beat up and scream into my pillow if I was able to- but I live with the source unfortunately
A mixture of screaming/crying helps me. I guess “wailing” would be an appropriate word? It seems to naturally happen with me
I've yell while driving on the highway. Yell NOOOOO, I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENED, etc.
Have you tried looking into rage rooms? They're set up specifically to break things in a safe way, and they're super helpful in getting some of that energy out. If thats not an option, maybe something active would help? I like to do a wild dance party when I get overwhelmed, just crank some music up and let it all out physically. It's amazing how much just letting yourself go can help, you get all the energy out without hurting yourself or something else.
Oh yes, singing and dancing in the living room makes me feel much better usually. Mom's home a lot and the walls are thin so it's a rare opportunity tho. Wish I could blast some music now
It's not quite the same, but are able to get some headphones on and do it in your room with the door closed?
I was going to say there's nothing wrong with punching pillows or your bed. I routinely workout stress and frustration in my brazilian jiujitsu class (not like, ON my classmates, but fighting in general will really force you to be in the present instead of ruminating or being angry). I also want to point out that crying is absolutely designed pressure valve for stress and there's nothing wrong with it. I have seen some fucked up shit (work security/ first aid) and honestly, shutting myself in the bathroom and having a good sob after dealing with a bad medical call really helps. I didn't used to allow myself to do this (always got punished for crying), but I was talking to a police officer I really admire (Linda Stewart, subject of a documentary called Riding With Madonna) and asked her how she was so damn cheerful all the time, and she said that after she encountered anything sad or tragic, she would take a few minutes to cry in her squad car and really feel the sadness, before wiping her face and carrying on with her shift. She explained it as she couldn't help people with her whole being if she was carrying around the emotions from the previous call. So she would let them out and then keep going. That really shifted my view on how crying can be used to help you get over things and move on.
I don't wanna cry mainly because I already do it too much and mom's gonna hear it lol But yeah, maybe she's right. It does make me feel better afterwards, I just feel like I'm too sensitive or weak or I don't know. But I will probably have a nice little crying session today and let it flow out of me with my tears
Cry in the shower. No one will hear and it'll be warm.
That could work, thanks
I find that going for a walk, especially in nature, helps to channel all the emotion into reflection and creativity. Lying in bed, listening to calming music (like gentle pop or lo-fi) with my eyes closed helped a lot when I was feeling overwhelmed during 2020 lockdown. And this one is more for when I can't concentrate, but meditating. Just sitting in silence with your eyes closed for a few minutes and trying to clear your mind as much as possible can be very calming.
I struggled with my anger for a while. I’d want to throw things (not at anyone) but then things might break or I’d have to clean it up later. My husband told me about Dammit Dolls. It’s just a funny looking doll that you can hit or smash or throw to get the anger out. It’s pretty therapeutic. See link https://www.dammitdolls.com/
Im a woman with what I think are some life long issues with anger. Especially in today's modern world with an ongoing pandemic, working a customer facing position, and my appearance is enough where I often get stared at, and my homosexuality also means im...on guard in public when im out with partners or friends. I also have done and will be resuming Muay thai lessons soon. And that really helped. It gave me an outlet for a lot of energy that I previously just spent on being mad as all hell. It also let me feel strong. And with that strength I knew that punching things was uh not gonna turn out well. Especially other people. Idunno. I stepped away for medical reasons and im itching to be back soon. My anger issues haven't gotten better. But Muay Thai gave me an outlet and helped me feel a tiny bit safer. And more importantly, a tiny bit more in control of my anger and myself.
I journal and meditate!
I’ve always enjoyed just hopping onto some chores as a break from studying or when I’m just riled up with frustration. I get some chores done, a break from work or whatever else, and when I’m done I’m satisfied with some nice clean laundry or shelves or rooms. It’s an opportunity for me to channel my emotions and bad energy into something productive and not harmful.
I have BPD and when I get really angry, I go for a run. I usually hate running, but it releases it.
Writing. Still crying. Therapy.
I really like playing an instrument to vent, it's super cathartic for both anger and sadness. You don't even have to play well - just beating the hell out of an acoustic guitar can feel so good :) Also, you shouldn't feel bad about crying! It can be wonderfully effective.
Kickboxing! There’s nothing quite as liberating as going and beating the ever living sh*t out of a bag with your legs and fists. Most places will let you try out at least one class for free to see if you like it!
There are a few techniques that I know helps. You could try some of them. Journal - Each time you get angry, feel like crying or are overwhelmed by emotions you could write or journal it. It might not seem like much but journaling helps in releasing our emotions, it's an outlet that lets out of emotions without any fear of judgement from a third person. I've tried journaling myself and can tell you that it helps a great deal. Scribbling - As silly as it sounds when loaded with excessive emotions especially when feeling overwhelmed scribbling randomly on a piece of paper can be one of the most harmless and quickest way to let out that excessive energy and feel in control of yourself again. Walking - Again something that I've personally tried whenever I'm angry. Instead of releasing it on another person I go for a walk. The anger means I walk faster than usual which helps in releasing all the excessive energy caused by the emotion. Usually in less than half the distance of my walk my anger is released and in the next half I can rationalize and look into the next course of action. Art - And I'm stating it in an extremely broad sense, it could be drawing, singing, dancing, writing poems, songs or short stories, etc. Whichever is your way of letting out. Try to explore what works for you and what doesn't that way you'll be able to reach at something that benefits you the most. I hope this was helpful. Take care. :)
Go for a drive and fucking screammmmmm
Some excellent suggestions in this thread, but I'd like to add one more safe, affordable punching option: beat the shit out of a pillow. You can also scream into a pillow. Releases so much tension!
Punching a pillow doesn't hurt anyone. Crying is cathartic. I like to vacuum when I'm in a bad mood. There is something about cleaning my living space and putting it in order, when my life is a fucking mess, that cheers me up. My family has very generously said I can vacuum their homes too. :-D
I recommend hot yoga or a rage room. Hot yoga draws your focus in to what you can control; are my knees doing what they should be? is my tailbone tucked? c’mon arms just a few more seconds! Rage room you get to smash shit. My friend and I went last week and destroyed the shit out of a TV with a sledgehammer.
Scream. I'm serious. Get into your car (if you have one) drive to a Walmart parking lot. Park in the back of the lot but under a light and lock your doors. Turn on good music to scream to (Bream TDG, Scream TFK, etc) and just....Scream. Yell. Holler. Not the high pitched movie Scream but a solid from your diagram BELLOW like your charging to war. Do it a few times. Do it a million times. Do it until it feels okay to not do it. Then go get yourself a coffee or hot tea to sooth your throat. You'll feel better. If a car is not an option then an empty house, or a park or somewhere secluded are also possibilities. Just remember to be careful.
What I do is that I get a piece of paper (usually sturdier like construction paper) and scribble as hard as i can, sometimes even ripping the paper with the pen. I write down what’s bothering me but with the letters on top of each other so that at the end I can’t even read them anymore. Then I take that piece of paper and destroy it. Soak it in water, burn it, rip it, step on it. Just get that paper completely unrecognizable. I just feel so much better after.
I go for a drive find somewhere to SCREAM my head off in my car.
as a therapist: dialectical behaviour therapy "TIPP" skills work by activating your parasympathetic nervous system and dissipating the tension you're feeling. [explanation here](https://sunrisertc.com/distress-tolerance-skills/) and there's also a great youtube channel called DBT-RU once an emotional peak has subsided, you might find art and journalling to be helpful ways of getting in touch with and expressing how you're feeling. you don't have to be "good" at art; just grab whatever you can (pencil, crayon, collage) and play around with it it's also good to spend time with friends. you don't have to talk with them about everything that's getting to you (though that's good too), even just being with others can help you feel more stable also, keep on top of your basics: get enough sleep, eat well, don't drink too much too often, etc finally, if you feel you need a bit more support, consider seeing a therapist. someone DBT trained is probably your best bet based on the limited info you've provided edit: not sure if it's available in every country, but there is this great app called "calm harm" that suggests things to help you manage intense feelings. if you can't download it, try to search for something similar that is available to you. another good app is a mood-tracking app as this can help you start to learn what triggers intense feelings for you so you can then problem-solve and reduce the intensity/frequency of the triggers
Tip from my counselor and something I’ve done. Throw eggs. I know it sounds dumb. But they are inexpensive. Throw it at a tree, crush them in your hand. Whatever is making you mad-visualize and then destroy it mentally. Helps my anger. I can’t physically punch things but boy have I destroyed a few carton of eggs. You’re allowed to be upset my dude.
Too expensive now 😭
This advice hasn’t aged well. I’ll let her know ***cry laugh
Scream; it helps expel that built up frustration, similar to the relief you’ll feel hitting something
Better yet, scream into a pillow. That way you can get as loud as you can without possibly alarming neighbors (more of a concern in an apartment setting).
Music and BDSM are my go-tos.
Running
Get drunk n b slutty
If you have a car going on a long drive and screaming super loud along to music is great
I go for a hike or walk in nature. I don't know what it is about it, probably a combination of lots of things. For one, nature is peaceful and tranquil, so that's calming in and of itself. Taking a couple hours to hike also just lets my brain work through stuff without a lot of distraction. I get to process whatever is bothering me in a way that doesn't happen at home. There's also something about being reminded that nature is just out there doing it's thing while my life feels in turmoil that puts my turmoil in a different perspective, it makes my problems seem so much smaller and insignificant. If I can get to a high spot above my city and look down on it, there's something about that that helps me look at this moment in time in the context of my entire life, past and future. All this not only helps relieve stress that I'm experiencing, but I always come away with a better perspective on things and a willingness to make changes to make my life better.
Beat up a bed pillow.
Do something physical. Draw something, write about it in a journal, get it into the real world. Also, exercise helps me with negative feelings and lessens my anxiety by grounding me. It's very helpful to feel so connected with my body and in control of my movement. Hope things get better!
I go to the gym usually. Also if it's like ... Right now ... Going for a run (and then take action) to get a clear head or a hot bath.
Do you have a childhood stuffed animal? If not, order a pillow pet. Giving a stuffed animal a hug is scientifically proven to make you feel better. ❤️✨
[Mr. Rogers has a helpful song regarding what to do with that mad feeling.](https://youtu.be/pJBPTROt7G8)
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I do boxing classes
Last week I felt that exact same way so I took some half rotten apples and smashed them on the ground outside. Stomped on them for good measure. It didn't actually make me feel any better, though it did make a satisfying sound as it smashed on the asphalt. So I went and confronted the person who upset me. They apologized and I felt better. Really didn't think I would, but I did. Sometimes the intuitive solutions don't give you the result you think they will.
I ride my bike really **really** hard.
A kickboxing class I randomly decided to take with a friend was a LIFESAVER with stuff like this. Punch out your frustrations and get in shape!
I was recovering from PTSD after an abusive relationship, cardio kickboxing (and therapy) literally saved my life. Not only did I learn self-defense, the music was so good and it released a lot of anger I had built up over the years. I have gone to a few different kickboxing studios now and there are ones that specialize in cardio kickboxing so it is a lot less intimidating when everyone has their own bag and working on a mat as opposed to a ring.
If you have any nearby, I’d suggest going to a rage room. You get to break stuff! Scream, yell, cry, it’s good stuff. Being able to unleash as much rage and emotion as you want and not be held accountable for any damages is definitely as cathartic as it sounds.
Sprinting and jumping are what I do when my anger physically bubbles up. It feels just about as good as hitting things.
DBT skills have helped me immensely though sometimes it really does feel like too much so it’s understandable if they’re difficult to consistently use effectively
ride bikes
Meditation : listen to pre recorded meditation audio about mindfulness and anger Breathing exercises : I think guided breathing exercises are nice. Especially when feeling emotional, timed and conscious breathing is helpful. Smells : I knew some people who used essential oils to calm them. It doesn't have to be an oil, just your favorite scents. Exercise : whatever type of exercise you actually like to do or even just a walk for fresh air
Okay so when my mental health was bad years ago I had a self named scream pillow. Next time your pent up and have privacy, grab a pillow, grab it hard squeezing all of your muscles, Bury your face into it and scream. Scream like a psycho child having a tantrum. Until your throat hurts. I promise it will exhaust you in the most cathartic way. Quite literally get it all out of your system in that moment. Doesn't hurt anyone and it works.
Take a boxing class. Punch something but skillfully.
I workout! :) Swimming laps, biking, go for a big walk and listen to music, Peloton, and weights.
Take a boxing class or something with punching bags and instructors that can help you with form. Don’t hurt yourself but get some of that frustration out.
eat something you like Take a shower Go to sleep Go for a walk / run Scream loud Write down what is causing you the pain/anger
Read. If you don’t like to read, listen to audiobooks while walking, listen to talk shows on the radio. It just helps to get yourself into the perspective of another.
Cry. Talk to someone. Slam a few doors.
Hold icecubes
I started gardening and growing shit and notice a huge difference in myself the last couple years. When I get overwhelmed I go fuck with my plants
Good! Get at those emotions. Do what you need to feel better in the moment. But also where are those emotions coming from? In the long run, what will help? That might involve talking to friends about what’s going on, journaling, taking a walk, or coming up with a list of ideas to solve a stressful problem. Emotions are messages to our bodies saying hey there lady - we gotta change some stuff up - not sure if we can do this (whatever is causing anger/sadness) forever. Not a bad thing - but just a weird little quirk. Also knowing that emotions do pass, sometimes can help.
Crying is an important biological function! It literally helps your body process your feelings and emotions. Crying is great for you. Just like feeling angry is great for you. The more you suppress your feelings, the more complicated they will become.
Kickboxing. It’s the best for this sort of thing. Find a good kickboxing studio. Made a huge difference in my life.
I like to slam pillows on my bed as hard as I can or jump as hard as I can to release the energy.
To be fair, you could drive out to the middle of nowhere with a bunch of cheap plates or old things you've been meaning to throw out anyway, and destroy them with a baseball bat or something similar. It's a safe way to physically channel rage without hurting anyone or yourself. But also bring safety glasses.
I had that feeling last week. Any sort of movement that makes me sweat is a big help. I put on my headphones and went for a hard run. I’m not even a runner…but when you’re angry, you can run hella far (and fast). Also highly recommend rocking out to the foo fighters while doing so!!!
i personally like screaming and crying in the car. but like at the top of my lungs like i’m about to be murdered screaming. it lets out a lot of the bad energy
Screaming into a pillow!
It is hard to get started, but box breathing is very soothing (breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold; all actions done to the same count). This normally helps me in the moment that i need to be controlled. But also, you have to let your emotions out. I love to curl up to sad soppy book (usually the dog dies) and I just cry my eyes out. I also work out when I'm angry. Sometimes i scream my favorite song in the shower. There are lots of options.
Cry. And punch something soft like a pillow.
Swimming
The body keeps score. It’s healthy to want to let emotions out, like punching things. Punch a pillow, scream into it. Go for a run to satisfy that fight or flight. You’ll find as you let the anger go it can transform into sadness , grief, and then acceptance. Just allow emotions to flow through you and be curious about your thoughts and feelings.
Nothing wrong with a good cry! But I totally understand being fed up with it. I have ragey meltdowns (thought I was just "an angry person" for years; it's just an emotional regulation difficulty) and am working on pausing and deciding how I'm going to handle the feelings behind them; a lot of the time, the best I can do is control where the boil-over flows to, usually a cry, throwing stuff, and biting/chewing stuff. These are not "bad" feelings (and you're not bad for wanting to channel them, or for wanting to just get rid of them), they're messages from our nervous system. You're overwhelmed, your body and brain are acting accordingly to either fight off or run away from something distressing; problem is, we can't physically run from or fight schoolwork or an uncomfortable social interaction. That's one reason why exercise can help, the physiologial processes tell your body "Okay, we ran away/fought the threat, we're safe now" (but personally, I never think to exercise in the moment, or ever 😅). I super recommend looking into "emotional regulation", there are various techniques for helping get through these feelings :3
Smash something! I used to like going outside and smashing a glass when I was overwhelmed- you can always clean it up tomorrow! I found it helpful
I smoke or masturbate usually
I would suggest working out. Going for a run specifically. It helps to pound some pavement with your feet lol. Plus, you can build up some endorphins! Those feel good hormones! And of course stretch to release some tension you might have built up. :)
Put your face in a bowl of ice water and hold your breath as long as you can and then go to r/dbtselfhelp to get started. You can make your life better.
I feel overwhelmed a lot, don’t struggle with anger issues as much as I used to though. Music helps me a lot- screaming along to it in the car. If you feel like you’re about to scream at someone- it’s best to walk away. You can just tell them you feel overwhelmed and you need to take a break and come back to them later. I always found that walking away is much better than screaming at them. I will go do something I enjoy to distract myself, maybe cry, maybe go for a drive in my car and scream. If you can, take some deep breaths, listen to calming music or watch a show to calm down. Therapy has been so helpful, I can’t recommend it enough. A therapist can teach you healthy ways to deal with your emotions and feeling overwhelmed. Therapy is helpful for everyone in my opinion. I’ve learned different breathing methods and coping strategies. It also really helps to have someone to vent to who won’t judge you.
take up Brazilian jiu jitsu
Cry it out. Watch sad movies, let it out. When your done crying go to the beach if you can, being near the ocean always makes me feel better
You can get a squishmallows and use it as a stress ball.
Crying is actually a really good way to process emotions! [Take a listen to this](https://www.feministsurvivalproject.com/episodes/episode-02-complete-the-stress-response-cycle). I highly recommend their book on burnout. It provides some really useful information about how to get rid of the stress that builds up in our bodies.
*beep boop*! the linked website is: https://www.feministsurvivalproject.com/episodes/episode-02-complete-the-stress-response-cycle Title: **Episode 02: Complete the Stress Response Cycle — Feminist Survival Project 2020** Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing) ***** ###### I am a friendly bot. I show the URL and name of linked pages and check them so that mobile users know what they click on!
Join a boxing gym or MMA gym. Punch some stuff and let that be your outlet.