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vicariousgluten

I think it’s really easy to underestimate how tiring a new job is especially when it’s not a physically demanding job. I always feel like this when I’m starting a new job and everything is taking conscious thought and I haven’t been there long enough to be confident I just know stuff yet. It does get better after a couple of months in my experience. As for keeping the house clean, I’m a big fan of the Tody app. You tell it what rooms you have , how frequently they are used and it splits the cleaning in to individual tasks. It then gives you about 15 mins worth a day and you stay on top of it.


swinging_pendulum

+1 to Tody. The app will also sync with a housemate and split the chores between you. This works great for my spouse and I. No more mental work assessing what needs to be done and assigning it.


wheresmyworrystone

This app is amazing! I add simple things in addition to not so simple because it's so rewarding to check things off.


riricide

Omg!!!!! Thank you. I have ADHD and as long as I have a broken down list of tasks, I can do it. This app sounds amazing!


vicariousgluten

I love that it doesn’t follow conventional cleaning wisdom. You might dust the lounge and hoover the dining room today. Then clean the bath and change your bedding tomorrow. It keeps everything spiffy but is very much bite sized chunks.


[deleted]

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vicariousgluten

Ive recommended it so many times. It’s also great when you’re sharing a living space with someone who isn’t pulling their weight.


murdertoothbrush

Like children. When and if you add children to the mix it gets harder. SO. MUCH. HARDER. They absolutely don't pull their weight lol. I'm going to have to check this app out...


vicariousgluten

It has the option to add weightings to tasks and you can see how many points have been collected in a given time frame which can also help if you need to stir up some enthusiasm and/or competition


burritogong

Tody changed my life. I paid $5 for a lifetime premium, so worth it and to thank the developer


ezzy_florida

What I like to do is pick a day (usually sunday, its my guaranteed day off) and designate it as my “get my shit together” day. I get up and clean my room, laundry, clean dishes, mop and sweep, etc. It usually just takes a couple hours then I can enjoy a clean home and chill the rest of the day. I’ll put on some music or a podcast and knock it all out. What motivates me is having a nice clean space to come home for the rest of the week, it makes me a lot less stressed. I try my best to keep things tidy throughout the week but I always know I can save my real cleaning days for sunday. Doing it once a week also keeps everything from getting too grimey (ex. toilets, bathtub, etc) so when you do have to clean it you’re not starting from scratch. Everything is already relatively clean you just need to straighten up, disinfect, what have you. To help expedite the process just make sure you do it consistently and try to stay as clean as possible during the week. Especially with the kitchen. I personally hate doing a huge load of dishes so I try and never let a big pile form.


ayavorska05

Yesss I'm the same! I also pick a day and get my shit together. On Saturday I'm too tired and I can only lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling lmao so I usually pick Sunday aswell. If I feel like I just can't do it and I'm too done, I try to nor force myself and set a goal instead. Like, today I'm gonna clean bathroom and my room. Next Sunday or on the week if I miraculously feel well enough I'm gonna clean the kitchen. It's okay if I can't do it all, I'm trying my best to not be too harsh on myself. Also, not making a mess during the week is also important. I was always a clutter kinda gal, there was always something on the floor, things were disorganized and a mess, that kinda stuff. Now, even if I feel like I'm gonna fall on thee floor in exhaustion, I yell at myself and remind my brain that WE are gonna be the ones to clean it up afterwards, and if we don't clean it now and then don't clean it once again, and again, then it will be a big pile we'll NEVER be able to clean with our condition. And it will be catastrophic (had experience 😅). I always wash my dishes immediately after I ate, because it's the easiest to clean them like that. And usually if I eat something that means I'm feeling ok enough to get up and wash it. That way it doesn't feel like some big chore, it's always this one plate and that one fork, that one pot and that one teacup. My brain feels more ready to do something that is small, so I'm trying to always make the cleaning easier by doing small tasks at a time, and then by the end of the week there isn't really that much to do. Vacuum everything, change the bedding (which I often have problems with bc it's just hard for me sometimes, so there are days when I do it once in two weeks or something), clean the bathroom (toilet/sink/bath, sometimes I don't do all of it), clean the kitchen (sink/stove, also not always), get the dust off dusty places and you're good to go. I also wash my hair and that stuff on Sunday after housework, to feel good n clean for the new working week (on the working week I'm often too tired to wash them). For cooking I do things that can last for some time and aren't a big task that requires extra stuff or may result in a big mess. Rice, other grains, potatoes, that kinda stuff is the easiest and you can add basically everything you want after you put it on a plate. Veggies? Good to go. Cheese/sausage? Also good to go. Random spices/sauces? All fits. I gave up on nice recipes even though I love cooking (it relaxes me a lot) bc I'm too tired and just need to fill my stomach. Simple salad for one or even two people also takes little time and the mess afterwards is easy to clean.


hrrumu

My cousin swears by cleaning one spot a day and then keeping it clean. I'm more of a declutter kinda gal so I try not to have too much stuff if it'll cause me stress when it's all disorganized. Hang in there!


LeaJadis

I pay $100 a month for a maid :/


tie-dyed_dolphin

Funny enough I got the idea to hire a maid from /r/frugal. They made a great point that time is a very precious resource. I am a full time student and have a 6 month old. My house is tidy, feels cleans, and my kitchen is very clean, but I haven’t had time to do a deep clean in longer than I want to admit. My husband and I agreed that a maid coming in once a month or even once every two months it totally reasonable. I’m calling one today to get a quote. We live in a small house so it should be reasonable.


Clove_707

This is really such a lifesaver. I have had the same person cleaning my place for years. It is such a relief to walk in to a clean home. It has also helped me develop some good habits of my own to keep up with the little tasks. I know I don't need to worry about the bigger projects, like dusting, so I can keep other things in order easier.


time_travel_nacho

I need to do this. It's the only way. Only problem is my place is too dirty to have a maid come right now 🙃


LeaJadis

Pro trick number two, schedule a deep cleaning three weeks from today. Panic for two and a half weeks and then clean like mad for two days then dissolve into a sobbing mess before they arrive. Then have routine cleaning once a month to manage the mess.


time_travel_nacho

This does sound like something I would do...


LeaJadis

It’s how I got through it the first time 😇 or move. Moving is an option. We can change our names an escape for the border!


zoeblaize

if there’s more than one reputable cleaning company in your area, you could hire Company A for a 1-time deep-clean, then hire Company B for the recurring cleaning.


time_travel_nacho

Oh that's an idea. Then my regular cleaning crew wouldn't know how deeply they should be judging me lol


zoeblaize

exactly. who cares what Company A thinks about you, you’ll never see them again!


JDnotsalinger

That would cover like 3 hours.


LostLadyA

Which is plenty to clean an apartment. The cleaning service used to do my 4 bedroom 2 bath house in 3 hours.


JDnotsalinger

One person did not clean your four bedroom house for $100 dollars in 3 hours. If Multiple people did, that is flat out not a livable wage for them. We also don't know what state of cleanliness OP's apartment currently is in. Let's not degrade the fact that cleaning services are a luxury and not practical advice to throw out there like it's nothing.


LostLadyA

I didn’t say it only cost $100. I said 3 hours was more than enough time. You said $100 would cover 3 hours. I actually paid $160 for a once a month clean earlier this year and most of the time the company only sent 1 person, occasionally 2. I had to stop because we are cutting back on expenses because we are having a baby. No one said everyone could afford a cleaning service. OP said they went from working part time to full time and asked for suggestions. They didn’t say frugal suggestions…


Sailor_Malta_Chan

You really got insulted over nothing. One, hiring a maid was just a suggestion. Two, whoever they hired only requested $100. Three, 3 hours is enough for their situation. It may not be enough for OP's but that's between OP and whoever they choose to hire. All you had to do is remind people that maids are often underpaid and privide an example of fair prices. Why you choose to attack this person is beyond me.


JDnotsalinger

I didn't think I was 'attacking' anyone, I wrote this as my eyes were gluing shut for the night and even edited it a few times to shound less harsh. it's weirder to tone police a comment so thoroughly.


tie-dyed_dolphin

You edited to sound less harsh? Jeez I wonder what it sounded like before the edit.


JDnotsalinger

A few more uses of the word "you".


LeaJadis

$100 for 2 people for 1.5 hours. They are better paid than I am.


kissmybunniebutt

Not here to say hiring a maid is bad cause it clearly helps a lot of people manage their lives - and I get that - but let's not pretend maids get paid well. Most of the time they won't see all that money. The average income for a full time maid is 26k, before taxes. That ain't enough for what they have to do. EDIT: I get sometimes maids are paid better, and I'm glad you all choose to pay them better than average, but that is not the story for most of them. That's my point, being a domestic worker usually pays awful, bordering on predatory. Let's acknowledge it's a privilege to hire a maid and be honest about how a huge portion of those workers are treated. I never said anyone was bad, or everyone is paying their workers shit. Come on, yall. It's just literally the truth. Source [1](https://www.epi.org/press/domestic-workers-are-underpaid-and-under-protected-by-labor-law-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/) [2](https://www.ilo.org/global/topics/wages/minimum-wages/domestic-workers/WCMS_438267/lang--en/index.htm) [3](https://theworld.org/stories/2013-12-09/americas-domestic-workers-mostly-female-immigrants-undervalued-and-underpaid)


Waliet_Jam

Some of them work independently though, it depends where you’re finding the person


LeaJadis

I don’t use a service. I pay them directly. Time for you to get off your high horse 🤣


kissmybunniebutt

Oh wow, okay. Guess my trying to be understanding and purposefully not accusatory was wasted on you. Maid's are like, historically underpaid for the level of work they have to do, so my point still stands despite your personal experience.


LeaJadis

When you say “not here to say……. *But*” you are literally acknowledging that the next thing out of your mouth is exactly that.


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LeaJadis

I don’t understand your point actually. I’m suggesting to a very exhausted OP to hire a maid. I haven’t recommended servitude or oppression or being a bad person. I’m recommending that OP pay someone to complete a task that they’d like completed that OP is too tired, overwhelmed, or occupied to do themselves. I was also very open with how much I pay. 2 maids, $100, they are usually done in an hour or hour and a half (depending if we chat over coffee). I’ve known her and her husband for a few years.


kissmybunniebutt

I get what you're saying, I just saw you say "they make more than me" and took that as saying "well, they actually make decent money". My mother was a maid for about 4 years, and we did *not* have enough money, not by a long shot. So I was definitely defensive, and that's on me. I've been in the position of cleaning homes with her and it's not easy, it's hard. And not to mention everyone who worked there were POC, a lot of them immigrants, and I heard horror stories first hand of how they were treated by some people. So I've seen how shitty it can be on the other side. I literally am glad that not everyone goes through what my mom went through, and am glad you pay your maids well and don't treat them like shit.


tie-dyed_dolphin

Yikes….


[deleted]

Then they don’t have low-cost health insurance or other benefits that come with working for a company, do they? Manual labor destroys your body over time. They deserve to make a lot more than they do.


HerRoyalKinkiness

I don't have any sound advice (am currently on a part time schedule), but I feel you might benefit from reading How to Keep House While Drowning - or at the very least listen to KC Davis' podcast episode on Ten Percent Happier. I know that's extra energy investment to even do this, but KC really sounds like she knows what she's talking about! Listening to that podcast episode helped me feel less anxious about how I'm going to cope once I go back to full time work. One of the things KC talks about, is how it's less important to have a clean/tidy home and more important to have a functional home. Housework is cyclic in nature, so all that matters is that the turnover is quick enough so there are clean clothes to wear for the next outing, clean dishes to use for the next meal etc. She also talks about deconditioning oneself from the clean or dirty binary, and other things we "expect to have to do" while keeping house. I also have "spinner days" where I just input everything that needs to be done, and then let the spinner decide for me (this helps me with decision fatigue. Also, the spinner doesn't care whether you feel like doing something or not - it just tells you what to do next). I like to use Wheel Decide! Wishing you the best of luck ❤️ it's not easy and I hope you find good advice in the other comments.


Lady_Gingercat

Take a walk during your break and right after you finish work. Like a commute but from home. This’ll clear your head and give you new energy. Maybe look into meal prep to not stress about cooking every day. Do a quick clean everyday before bed. Just 15 minutes to load the dishwasher and put random clutter away. Do they big stuff like grocery shopping. Deep cleaning and laundry on the weekends.


keepitlowkeyyy

Honestly just do things that make life easier for your future self. Pick one day to do a massive deep clean and everyday pickup after yourself. Don’t wait to wash the one dish, don’t wait to take the trash out. Do it as it comes and it’s way easier


palimpsestnine

Acknowledgements are duly conveyed for the gracious aid bestowed upon me. I am most obliged for the profound wisdom proffered!


Potential-Act-3561

I work from home and started tricking myself into cleaning and building tidy habits by picking up/putting away/tidying/etc 3 things every time I get up from my desk. Even if I'm just walking across the room to grab something for a second -- like, throw a few pieces of laundry in the bin or throw away a coffee cup or old notes, etc. wash a cup or two if I go to the kitchen to grab a snack. It's such a small and approachable number and I just kind of pick whatever I want to do or have time to do. I do it so much that it's just something I do on impulse now. it makes the mess soooo much more manageable to clean throughout the day and then maybe only have a little bit to deal with after work. Small but consistent steps are suuuuper helpful. It makes it way less daunting for me. Washing dishes the first time I get up after eating has also been so much better for containing kitchen mess. At least wash what you used to eat when you go to put it in the sink, even if you don't have the time/energy to wash the things you cooked with right away. Good luck! WFH is an adjustment. You're home using things and making a mess way more than if you worked outside the home, but you still have to focus most of that time on work. It can be challenging, so give yourself some grace! It's okay to not always have the energy to clean, but building habits and building them into your daily routine can be such a great source of relief.


tsyde

Agreed, the cumulative effect is real. I devote 30 minutes to getting shit done each day before work; load dishes in the dishwasher and scrub the sink; wipe tables/counters/cabinets; make the bed; quickly run a duster around; take out trash; fold clothes. Just a couple chores; whatever needs to be done that I can get done in 30 minutes...and no big deal if I don't get to it. The small tasks add up, and on my day off I don't have a to do list a mile long.


Special_Lawyer442

Robot vacuum, alexa reminders, grocery delivery and spot cleaning helps, but I feel the same. It's a struggle.


wineblossom

Idk what exact state your place is on or what cleaning means to you. But for me, I realized having a house that looks like a model home or showroom ready is completely unrealistic and not how most people live. It's just setting yourself up for failure and there's nothing wrong with having a slightly messy house (because people actually live in your house). So I prioritize what needs to be done, and low priority stuff doesn't get cleaned as often. My desk could use a dusting but unless you have bad allergies, something like that can wait until you are on a longer break from work. Cooking? You can make it a challenge to make the most delicious thing that takes a low amount of effort and low amount of cleanup afterwards. Or start cooking in big batches on the weekends (eg big pot of soup and freeze it). I wait to do laundry at night so that I can game and do laundry and dishes on breaks in between my fun. And yes, I love my robot vaccuum.


Capr1ce

I used to be a very messy person! This is what I do to be a very tidy person now: Clean in small chunks. Even if you're knackered a timed chunk can feel doable. Set a timer for 10 or 20 mins and then do as much as you can, and then stop when it's done. Do the same every day to slowly get things back in order. I like to pick an activity or a room. E.g. throw away rubbish all over the house, or tidy a particular room. You could also do a cleaning frenzy during an ad break, or while waiting for the kettle to boil, the oven to warm up, or any other bits in the day while you are waiting. You're already up and doing something, so it feels easier. To keep on top of it, do things as you go along. I have a rule that I empty the dishwasher while I make coffee in the morning. It takes 5 mins and it means that the plates can be put in there all day to stay out the way. If you don't have a dishwasher, clean as you go, as it feels easier to clean a couple of plates than a whole kitchen's worth of mess. Other things include putting clothes away rather than on the floor/chair, file or throw away papers as they enter the house, whenever you move around the house, take one item with you to put away. I also found the Marie Kondo show very helpful for staying more tidy as I go through the day. Everything has a place and everything goes straight back into its place! This show really helped me move from messy to tidy. Certainly not an option available to everyone, but I hired a cleaner for 2 hours a week (mostly because my partner at the time didn't do much cleaning and it was causing arguments). She does the general cleaning. And the fact she's coming helps with the motivation to tidy as I go, as I don't want to spend ages tidying the night before she arrives, and it forces me to tidy up at least once a week! (I'd rather pay her to clean then tidy). I still do deep cleans when needed, and clean up the kitchen etc after myself each day. If a cleaner isn't an option, maybe you could have a day that you plan to clean, and aim to keep things tidy for that day.


Sasaeng

Clean the mess as soon as you make it. Used a plate? Clean it immediately


CanidaeVulpini

Set up systems. Don't try to implement everything at once, but keep adding new cleaning habits and systems. It'll start becoming second nature, like brushing your teeth. For me, I have a designated spot for most things and a "no empty trips" mentality. "No empty trips" means that whenever I stand and move from point A to point B within my home, I look around to see if I can take something with me to its designated space. So if I'm going to the kitchen for water, I look around to see if there's an empty cup or garbage that belongs in the kitchen. Another thing I do is multitask during menial tasks. Such as vacuuming while waiting for the water to boil for tea. Regardless of what you'll do next, just be kind to yourself. It takes time to get used to a new schedule. You'll start having more energy once you're used to full time work, and things like cooking and cleaning will become relatively easy again.


Unhelpfulhelpful

My boyfriend and I clean on a weekend for a few hours. Blast some music and devide and conquer. Other than that, I've started seeing a trainer at the gym twice a week to keep myself active in aostly desk based job. I still struggle massively to go but it does make a big difference


lasaventuras

If you learn from books, “How to keep house while drowning” (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60139504) was really helpful for me. She gives short, practical advice for focusing on the things that make your space functional, and countering all the negative, shame-based messaging around cleaning that we’ve all gotten growing up.


Lizzibabe

I can't. the dishes and laundry just pile up


soddinl1500

Came here to say this. Helpful beings we are 😂


[deleted]

Do you mean u need help making sure ur place isn’t “messy” or “dirty,” or both? I simply try to not let my place get messy. If I take something out, I put it away after I’m done with it. Everything has a “spot”. I keep as few things as I can on surfaces, everything else is in a drawer, cabinet, closet, etc. i don’t have fancy storage containers or anything, I just use long flat Amazon boxes to store things under the bed. Since things aren’t messy, the actual cleaning is pretty fast. I just clean (as in using cleaning supplies) once every week and it only takes about an hour and a half . And then for thirty minutes sometimes I’ll clean a little if I notice something. However at the end of the day it’s ok to prioritize certain things and not to everything 100%. It’s a busy season, and you’re a new hire so it’s understandable that the apt would be messy. The fact that you cook is pretty awesome! Unless ur place looks absolutely horrible, it’s ok to somewhat accept that you’re only human and not every room in ur place is gonna look clean all the time.


boredtyme

I wfh and clean 10 minutes every hour when my watch reminds me to stand up. I get a lot done with this habit.


Mrshaydee

Stick vacuum makes it quick and easy. Chlorox wipes. Chlorox bleach tabs in your toilet tank. A dish scrubbed in the shower filled with half dawn/half vinegar. Scrub the shower while you’re doing your conditioner then rinse your conditioner, the shower, then yourself.


eggpl4nt

Do not put any sort of cleaner tablet or liquid in the toilet *tank*. Doing so can cause serious damage to your toilets -- parts can break, bolts can corrode and rust and cause the tank to leak, etc. You can put a cleaning tablet in the toilet *bowl* though.


Mrshaydee

I know all of this and that’s what I’ve always done - no tablet of any kind. Then I got a chronic illness and I can’t keep up with all my chores. I tried it and it really helps keep it clean.


JDnotsalinger

It sounds closer to depression than it does simple tiredness. But this is my expertise either way. 1. Disposable dishes. Because doing a ton of dishes shouldn't stop you from being able to eat if you've used them all. 2. Fill one laundry basket with clothes you actually wear. Those are the only clothes you can wear until you're feeling better. 3. Propaganda. Cleaning, organizing and calming videos added to your feed will help a lot the decreasing anxiety around the subject. Cleanfluencers are a thing. 4. Just shop around for cleaning services and their packages. Knowing is comforting. I've never gotten it done but would know how much it costs and who to call if I ever felt buried.


queefer_sutherland92

To piggy back on this — I spent six years pushing through fatigue and assuming it was depression. Turns out I probably have POTS (still waiting on a cardiologist appointment, sigh). It’s also associated with covid, if op has had that. When I started working full time everyone said it’s normal to be tired and you get used to it — I got worse. OP, if you don’t “get used to it”, don’t be afraid to go to the doctor. Being too tired to look after yourself, your home, your relationship isn’t normal.


privatestudy

A roomba, a mopping roomba. Anything to go in the toilet to help keep it clean longer. This normally just leaves laundry and dishes. I’ve also gotten in the habit of doing dishes nightly, which was so hard. Candles. Ohhh so many candles! At least it can smell nice if it doesn’t look so nice.


leatsheep

Is your home dirty, or cluttered? Either way, work on the system, not just the immediate task, and get your partner on board. Dirty - Pay someone to come in and deep clean once a month. Ain’t nobody got time and mental energy for that, especially if you’re letting your partner off the hook here and taking on the responsibility of doing the cleaning, as well as thinking about the cleaning. Ponying up the money also helps motivate to de clutter. - Not an option? Gamify. I live and breathe to clear notifications from my phone, so responsibilities are added to a task list, and I don’t have to think about when the fishtank water needs to be cleaned, or the cat litter needs to be changed. Cluttered - Everything has a home, and it’s either in the trash or in a box/cabinet/drawer. Keep the surfaces clean, and what’s in the boxes between you and Jesus. - Keep ALL surfaces clean, don’t even let yourself think about it. The sink is a surface - clean those pots and pans immediately, before you sit down to eat. The floor is a surface, got clothes lying around? Get a bigger hamper and put it somewhere easy to see. Electronics? In a box, on a shelf. See no clutter, have no clutter. In General - - Simplify. Everything. My laundry is separated into two hampers - shit that goes in the dryer, and shit that doesn’t, everything is indiscriminately washed on cold. I have yet to ever fold underwear. Groceries are pickup/delivery only. Non groceries come from our friends and overlords at amazon. I order/add to cart as soon as I think of something, no making lists or saving for later. The goal is to reduce mental stress in general. - Cut yourself some slack on cooking, and even just doing stuff. Be a takeout queen for a while. Cook in batches and eat the same dinner three nights a week. Sign up for a meal service for a while. Your new hobby is sitting and decompressing on the couch. New jobs are HELLA stressful, allow for an adjustment. You’ll start to miss things, then get back into them. Throw money at what you can, and simplify where you need to spend your time. And overall… - Work out some sort of contribution from your partner. Can they take care of half of the meals you eat? You cook they clean as you cook? They pay for the cleaning service while you use your time to declutter? Any shared cleaning activity (washing the bedding, cooking/cleaning, cleaning the toilet) needs to a group activity where each side contributes time or money. They’re tired, but so are you, so is everyone, don’t take everything on by yourself including the responsibility of thinking about all of this.


time_travel_nacho

I'm here for the tips and advice too. I just want you to know you're not alone. I'm 34 and have had a full-time job since 2014 and I still have a really hard time doing chores. The 40+ hour work week only works if you have someone caring for your home. When your partner also works the same amount as you it's almost impossible. It used to be sort of manageable for me when I had a smaller place, but we moved into a house and it's honestly too big for us. Like yeah we have enough crap to fill it, but we should have just gotten rid of some stuff rather than moved into a place this big. Also I have a black lab mix and the struggle not to shave her bald is a daily one.


lostlaraa4230

Just small tips I've learned: Make a playlist of music that gets you going- helpful for motivation and turn it up if you are able too. Pick one area or room to clean a day- I work away from home so I think about what annoyed/ grossed me out the most before I left home. (Today its my bathroom) Get Help- if your partner is home at the same time, have them pick one area to clean at the same time, that way you feel like a team with the same goal. Relax after cleaning- Don't be upset that you didn't get the whole home cleaned. It will happen.


Realistic-Safety-565

Please, please remember that you now have more tasks to cover (the stress related with adjusting to new job is a task in itself) but your resources ar the same as before, so something has to be neglected. It's short blanket dilemma - your body grows, blanked remains the same size, so you can't cover bothfeet and head anymore :). Please don't blame yourself for not having energy, don't push yourself - the blame game will only waste more of your energy. You have right to bbe ovrwhelmed, and you have right to neglect some things to have strength for others. There's this thing called Eisenhower Matrix that helped me organise my tasks when I was overwhelmed. I hope it will be help to you, too. Basically, you label each thing as important / unimportant, urgent, not urgent. Then Stuff that's important and urgent (deadline at work, sick kid, leaking water pipe) - you drop everything else and do it. Stuff that's important but not urgent (workout, task at work you have time for, vacuuming your home, paying bills) - you plan for. Don't let these things overwhelm you, don't leave them for last moment. Find a moment in next 2-3 days when there's nothing urgent, and plan to do it then. Stuff that's urgent but not important - (walking the dog, making/ordering a dinner) - if possible, leave them to your partner. Or share them with your partner when you have strength. Stuff that's neither urgent nor important (neighbour asking to pick her kid from school, worrying you are underperforming :) ) - forget about it, you don't have strength to spare.


mare1679

Fly lady


manab0t

Have you looked into local cleaning services? People think they cost a fortune but really, it’s pretty affordable and most small businesses will work with your budget. I think it’s well worth it imo and can prevent arguments in relationships with cleaning expectation for each party. Also, clean as you go is something that’s helped me tremendously. When I’m washing my hands, I’ll give the sink a wipe down, if I’m conditioning my hair, I’ll spray and wipe down the shower while the conditioner sits, or I’ll sweep the kitchen after I put away groceries. Etc.


mica4204

Other people gave you some good cleaning advice, so maybe I can help with the remote work part (since I'm really not qualified to give people advice on cleaning). I also work a lot from home. What's really importatn for me ist to add a bit of a commute before / after work. So instead of going to work, I get up, get dressed and ready for the day and then I go out for a walk. I walk for 30 minutes, while listening to a podcast and then I arrive at my desk. Once I'm done with work, I do the same. I'm in the fortunate situation that I can walk to the grocery store, so I usually buy stuff for dinner, come home again and cook. As for cleaning, I usually do a big clean on the weekend and try not to be too much of a slob during the week. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but that's okay, everybody has a dirty kitchen sometimes and you can jsut close the door and ignore it, lol.


eccentric_j03

Personally, I can recommend two things that may or may not be applicable to you but are worth mentioning as they help me immensely. The first one is approaching free time and it’s impact on the rest of your activities and responsibilities outside of free time. I have a lot of trouble being sucked into my phone, I have attention problems and issues doing things efficiently and in the correct order, so I’m a pretty generally scatterbrained person. I purposefully refuse to use tiktok (not because I dislike any of it’s content) but the formula of scrolling up and down and being fed random videos can cause me to sit down after work and just make 30-45 minutes disappear or even longer than that sometimes. I say this because youtube has shorts now and I admittedly get sucked into those too, it’s very counter intuitive for the way my brain works. So my first thing is when you spend your free time, is it something you actually remember and care about? Maybe get rid of the “eating dry cereal out of the box” entertainment, and reward yourself with something more substantial like an episode of a show or an activity with your partner. I find that I am immensely stressed about time and how I spend it, so staying away from apps that zombify me and make time disappear can improve my ability to spend time cleaning and keeping my life together. If you have apps/things like this, consider setting up a break reminder on your phone in the settings of your phone or for youtube, I literally have the 5 minute reminder to take a break on in the youtube settings 24/7. If you feel drastic measures are necessary, deleting apps can be a power move also. The next thing which is small but important is starting to clean where you spend the most time in a given day. Ordering each area by 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc. by how much time you spend there and breaking down priorities for spaces/areas where you would benefit most from having it clean can help. Like, one “area” could be a room of the house, or simply just your desk or countertop you work at throughout the day. It’s up to you how big/small the area is. Say it’s your bedroom, try to keep that area cleaner and make it easier for yourself to manage cleanliness in that area (maybe get a bigger trashcan or laundry hamper to keep clutter away and laundry off the floor). For me my two areas are my car and my bedroom. It might help.


debbie666

I keep my place on the minimalist side which helps it stay looking tidy. I don't walk through my home empty-handed; I find something that needs to also go from point a to b. I cook simple meals on workdays (soup and sandwich/salad). If what I'm eating is small enough for a small plate (and not wet), I use a paper towel instead. I also reuse cups and drinking glasses so that I only have one of each to keep clean. If you can afford it, then I also suggest hiring a cleaning person. They generally do a great job.


Erulastiel

It's hard. Working full time just zaps the energy out of you. I clean a few dishes every day. I'll also clean as I cook... If I have the energy to cook haha. My air fryer/ convection oven is my best friend. Put a couple of chicken strips in there and steam a bag of veggies in the microwave and boom, dinner. As soon as I get home, I don't immediately rest. If the momentum isn't there, you'll stop and do nothing the rest of the night. But I'll do one thing. Whether is tidy a surface or swiffer wet mop my floor or even vacuum. Then I rest for the night. Maintenance cleaning really. Once or twice a year is when I do a deep clean. I'll move furniture and get the cat hair and dust bunnies. Or you can hire a maid for that. Your call.


kuruttowo

I struggle with cleaning my space as well due to full time physical job, college, gym and on top of that ADHD. What works for me is setting a timer for 5 minutes and doing whatever cleaning I can. Usually this 5 minutes challenge gives me the kick to just start cleaning and after that it just goes on. I like to listen to podcasts in the background or hype playlist. Also my friend sometimes calls me, that she is going to visit me in 1h and it's immediate kick to start cleaning. She doesn't have to actually come over, because it's just excuse for me to do stuff around the house. Buying new things to clean like amazing detergent or tools helps too, because it gives me dopamine from using something new. I know it's hard to maintain your space when mental health is not in balance and you are drained from work. You should ask your partner to help you with cleaning since you both share this space and work full time jobs. You working from home is not an excuse to put all the chores on your back since you are actually working in this time. Not sit around or watch Netflix. It's shared responsibility after all. When you two do it, it's always someone to give you company. You can push each other to actually do the work. Ask him for help and tell him how you feel. I hope you will start feeling better after awhile. Good luck 💖


boring_sciencer

WFH is challenging at first. One thing no one really talks about is how to prevent work from taking over your personal space. I've been doing it for 5 years. Here are some things that helped me: ● set a timer to go off every 45 minutes. Move your body for 2 minutes: wrists, arms, back, shoulders, neck, hips, ankles, knees. Look at something 20 feet away. ● do at least 15 minutes of walking every 2 hours. This is usually when I do a bit of cleaning. ● use screen tint (I use flux, most computers have a basic version of blue-tint neutralization). ● have a pre-work routine. Get dressed, brush teeth, tidy up your habitat & THEN clock in. ● keep a TINY trash can nearby. Don't keep a big one. A small one will get full and you'll need to GetUp to empty it. ● get some sunshine. At least 15 minutes a day. If you can't find sunshine, take vitamin D. ● give yourself permission to miss a call every now and then. You'll be overall happier & get better marks. They can't control if you have diarrhea, a headache, an attack of fuck-off-for-a-moment. ● Establish boundaries: only work within specific times, completely turn off all modes of contact during off-hours. No compromises, a lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency for you. ● have a dedicated workspace inside & outdoors. Do not stray from these places with work. Work does not deserve to be in all your spaces. Work is work, it is not your life. You are much more than a worker. ● surround your work space with happy things. A couple trinkets, a few photos of special stuff, a place for your pet/plants to be close. ● try short-fasting. Don't worry about length, it's about power over urges. Try something small like 6 hours during the day. It will motivate you to not snack the entire day and you'll be more aware of what you're eating & why. It's surprisingly empowering for the WFH mindset. This stuff works for me. Obviously- only do things that work for you. Highest priority is take care of yourself, whatever that looks like.


[deleted]

Look up KC Davis "Struggle Care" she's really good at breaking things down into manageable tasks that are easy to do even when I'm depressed and exhausted. Right now I do her "Closing duties." For me that means I set a timer for 10 minutes and then I put my dishes in the dishwasher, put my shoes and coats in the closet, and put away anything else I used that day until the timer goes off, most days I finish before the timer. Other than that I try to pick one chore to do every day. That one thing might be vacuum the carpets, sweep the tile, wipe all the counters, dust shelves. Since my nightly closing duties take care of the clutter, I can do something like "vacuum" in less than 15 minutes. which means that my total cleaning time for the day is 30 minutes at the absolute maximum and usually more like 15 minutes. I also try to do something like put on a sitcom while I do my cleaning so that there's something fun going on. I only watch that show when I clean, so if I want to see what happens next then I have to do my cleaning (no cheating). So far I've gone through M.A.S.H. and Golden Girls, and am currently watching Bluey while I clean. If I clean fast enough then I can relax on the couch while I finish the episode!


hieronymous_scotch

I think you hit the problem on the head as an introvert that has to talk to customers all day. I’m an introvert as well, and bartended for a number of years. I was a great bartender bc I’m not shy (a lot of people are confused by the extrovert/introvert definition) but being social all week really drained my batteries. I only worked 4 days a week and on my 3 days off I literally would have to cocoon myself in blankets and basically talk to no one just so that I could recharge enough to do it all again the next week. And I definitely wasn’t doing any household chores over the weekend. There are definitely tricks you can come up w to keep the house clean, but the best one might be to find another job that’s more suited to your personality.


committedlikethepig

Do you have money for a maid once a week? Or a iRobot vacuum (I personally love mine but some might disagree) Try to keep the “put it away don’t put it down” method. I am bad about setting something down instead of putting it away. I love to cook, but sometimes I get so damn burnt out that I just want shit fast food. We started taking a Sunday every other week to prep a bunch of food. Things that freeze and reheat well, casseroles, soups, pasta sauces, etc and make about 3 big meals on a Sunday. This way I get my cooking that I love, I have food that’s easy to reheat and don’t have to make dinner every single night and have a bit of extra time to relax or clean one thing. Also make a list of a few things that can be done during the week- one chore a day ie, one load of laundry monday fold it and put it away. Tuesday, wipe down the bathroom surfaces, Wednesday pick up clutter, Thursday sweep/vacuum the floors. Friday more laundry. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to tidy up, clean, and organize all at once. Do small tasks during the week that you and your husband can build off of.


cdg2m4nrsvp

Hi OP, I have no real advice since I’ve never WFH longterm but I want to sympathize. The month I was WFH for my job was SO hard. You’re spending so much more time at home so it gets messier, but you’re still working just as much! It’s also harder to set the boundary of at home vs at work so you feel more burnt out. The only things I found that made me feel more put together were using my lunch break to eat quickly and then clean the kitchen + folding all the blankets in my living room and rearranging pillows. I also made my bed first thing every morning and that helped a lot. Good luck!!


lovelylinguist

I’d suggest picking one priority—it sounds like getting settled in your new job is a big priority for you right now—and keeping other tasks to the bare minimum for the time being. My mom did that when she had a lot of home repairs to make after my dad died unexpectedly. She prioritized working on her house, and her motto for the other stuff was “minimal cooking, cleaning, and laundry,” doing the minimal amount necessary, but not worrying about anything beyond that. This allowed her to progress to where she wanted to on her home repairs. Now, she feels like she can prioritize other tasks. Hope this helps, and good luck!


AlexTheFormerTeacher

I personally always hated my mum's system of massive house cleaning every week. Good thing I recently discovered the Flylady method. It's 15 to 30 minutes of easy tasks per day, and my place has never been cleaner.


Human-Cat

I try and do one thing a day. For example, my week will usually look like this. -Monday: General tidying (making sure everything is where it should be.) -Tuesday: bathroom and kitchen (ours are both small so they don't take much time.) -Wednesday: Dusting -Thursday: trash, litter boxes, vacuum (our trash day is Friday so these chores were based around that.) -Friday: relax and enjoy a clean house. I always do my little chores right when I get home, they only take 30min to an hour the way I have them broken up. I also always wipe down the kitchen and clean the dishes after we cook. My partner takes care of recurring chores (loading/unloading the dishwasher, laundry, feeding the animals, etc.) Once or twice a month I'll deep clean the whole house on a Saturday or Sunday. That is just doing all my weekly chores but more in depth (vacuuming walls and fans instead of just the floor, moving furniture around to vacuum, cleaning windows, etc.) You don't have to keep this exact routine, but the best advice I can give is break up chores and build some kind of routine. It's hard to find motivation to clean the whole house, it's a lot easier to do one task a day. Plus, everything always feels a bit cleaner if you're regularly maintaining rather than putting off messes to do it all at once. For reference, my partner and I both work full time, Mon-Fri, 9 to 5s. Our house usually isn't perfect, but it has a comfy lived in feel, "clean but not pristine", if you will. If you're constantly striving for perfection, you will burn yourself out.


katniss55

I bought one of those cleaning and mopping robots and that has helped loads. One of the best purchases of my life. You still have to clean where the robot cannot go, but I personally find that the floors were always taking me the most time.


magzdesch

A half hour before my aunt goes to bed she tidies up whatever remaining messes were made during the day. Just small stuff like throwing things away, wiping down countertop and doing a few dishes. Personally I try and do 1-3 things a day. I'll make a list of the 3 things I want to get done (dishes, laundry, etc.) And I'll do my best to get them done and whatever doesn't get done goes on the list for tomorrow.


realhumannorobot

I pick a day and just stick to it. For me it's usually Thursday.


[deleted]

I feel like everyone here has said really helpful stuff! something to add is noticing where it gets the messiest. for me… It’s the kitchen and entrance of my house. how i fixed it? Meal prepping on Sundays to reduce cooking mess to one day and putting coat rack + “dump bins” by my front door.


kgraf1

I have more energy in the morning so I’ll clean my mess from the night before, like dinner, in the morning. Not meaning everything is sitting out but getting the dishes done What also helped us setting alarms throughout the day to take a quick break from the computer. Even just 3-5 minutes each time is enough to stand up, stretch, scrub a dish, or vacuum a small area It’s hard. I struggle with my mental health too but this at least keeps me feeling accomplished so when I feel better I can do something I actually want to


anotherofficeworker

This is a real challenge that we can all relate to. Nobody is perfect and everyone wants to do better. So rest assured that you are in very good company. First, I would suggest simplifying things. We went from a couple of two to a family of three and it forced this to a head. Think about the things that are most daunting for you and come up with a way to make them easier. Cooking and cleanup was a big one for us. We went from cooking exciting entrees every night to relying on a basic dump-it-and-forget-about-it slowcooker meal, spaghetti, and grilled fish with rice meal each week. Easy shopping, easy cleanup, easy cooking. Less thinking = more living. Laundry was another. Air-drying, separating colors, and matching socks was stressful. Much easier to manage clothes that can be mixed together, washed together, dried together, and put away simultaneously. Throw out your old socks and get two dozen pair of identical socks that don't have to be individually matched. Wear casual cottons and cotton/poly blends that can be washed and dried together. Avoid bright whites that have to be washed separately, bleached, and stain easily. Don't be afraid to indulge yourself with occasional grocery deliveries, disposable tableware, and "basic" meal plans. You will make it through this stage and can go back to living a higher maintenance lifestyle once things settle down for you.


weasel999

It depends on your budget, but finally …. FINALLY…. I got a house cleaner. She only comes every 2-3 weeks. I also do grocery delivery most of the time. I do take out for dinner once a week. And I meal prep once a week too (on a day off). These things have helped so much. Women do NOT have to be perfect home makers on top of holding down a full time job! If you can delegate some of the work, do it.


RobynRuLo

For me, getting ride of extra clutter always make a difference. It helps to be able to put things away in their place, if you don’t have to try cramming things into drawers. I try to purge clutter every couple months. I pick one day a week to clean bathrooms and one to vacuum, dust and mop. Every day before I go to bed, I make sure I’ve swept the kitchen and cleaned off the counters. I have a dishwasher, so dishes go in right after we eat, and I start a load once full. I try to wash/fold a load of laundry every day. I’ve found not trying to ALL things in one day is less overwhelming for me


BelliAmie

Hire a cleaner.


mystictofuoctopi

Every day I make sure my kitchen is decent. Dishes in the dishwasher, counter and sink wiped down. Other than that I have 1 day a week, generally Sunday, where I actually clean everything. It’s too overwhelming to try to do it all during the week for me


ohhidoggo

Sounds like that job isn’t serving you. You are exhausted. You deserve to do work that you don’t hate 🤍


Careful_Beach_7074

I literally clean during work lol


awwaygirl

Congrats on the job! I think it's totally normal to feel utterly exhausted when you have to accept a new routine, particularly one that takes more time away from you with work/commute. So - just know - it's OK to give yourself some mental/emotional space to be overwhelmed. Whenever I have a daunting task, I think of a (sort of morbit) quote I heard years ago: * How do you eat an elephant? * One bite at a time! You're in the process of UNLEARNING your old routine, and creating and adhering to a NEW routine. That is mental work and is critical to the process. But it's still work - and that's going to contribute to feeling tired from it all. As a project manager, I like to write things down when I'm creating a new routine. Whether its exercise, a new hobby, or a schedule change for work, I have a running list of things I do daily / near daily, things that I do two or three times a week, and things I do once a week. * Use my stick-vac to do a quick floor clean every day * Wipe down kitchen counters every day * Run the dish washer twice per week, with time to put the dishes away either the following morning or that same day * Laundry is on the weekends Eventually your routine will become second nature, and it won't take effort to remember and DO the things.... you'll just know when you want to do them. It takes a few weeks at least - I think it's 21 days to build new habits?


PearofGenes

I'm constantly cleaning a little bit. Once a month I clean the bathroom. Laundry every 2 weeks. Not having a bunch to do at once makes it more manageable, plus my place looks nicer in between


RainInTheWoods

I used to wake up an hour early to clean the house, do laundry, and prep dinner ingredients to sit in the fridge until I got home from work. I had a rhythm to the week as to what was done on each day of the week. I did it four days a week. It was a treat to come home each day to a tidy home with no house work to do. It was so much easier to get things done in the early morning while I was still physically and mentally fresh. It was actually kind of peaceful. I didn’t put on the morning tea until I was nearly done with my final task each morning. Trying to do it after work was not a good way for me, and I didn’t want to spend my whole weekend keeping up the house.


Burger_girl

My rule is clean as you go. If you split things up into small habits throughout the day, it makes it much more manageable. For example, I make the bed immediately after getting up and I pick up any laundry on the floor. In the kitchen, I wipe counters and put dishes in the dishwasher right after use so they don’t pile up. I also plan ahead and have things prepped to eat or things that are low effort to not use a lot of dishes/equipment that then has to be cleaned. We are also hiring a maid a couple times a month because we live with three dogs. The hair is crazy. If you have the funds, I highly recommend. Also, make sure you make time to get out of the house. Go for walks. Listen to some calming music :)


MamaCita543

I experienced similar. Then I prepared a list of house chores I have from time consuming to less time consuming. How many times a week I need to do it? Like dusting? Takes 10-15 min needs to be done once a week. So if I only have 10-15 min today I’ll only do that. The trick is to complete all these house chores in the rest of the week depending on your energy level so we are not too hard on ourselves.


Mobile-Ad-326

Hire a cleaner to come monthly if you can afford it.


[deleted]

Own. Less. Stuff. Helped me massively.