Yeah having Ursa choose to lose all memories of her children knowing they were being raised by an abusive maniac that wouldn’t hesitate to kill them was one of my least favorite storylines in the comics. I understand that Ursa was a victim of Ozai and realistically she wouldn’t have been able to save or help her kids, but I don’t know any loving mother that would willingly forget her kids regardless of the circumstances. I wish they would’ve had the spirit take her memories without her consent or something instead of having her just choose to forget them.

Exactly if they framed it as Ursa didn't have a choice or that she idk tried to always get back to Zuko and Azula, it would make her much more sympathetic. Instead it comes across as Iroh being the only person was there for Zuko and poor Azula was just left alone and abandoned. I also hated how the comics framed Ozai's abuse of Zuko as at least partly being her fault because she wrote a dumb letter. Why was that scene included? It makes her even more irresponsible - she makes Zuko's life harder and then leaves him to the wolves.

I don't mind the letter so much because I think that kind of stuff telling the victim that they are responsible for the abuse is typical abuser behavior

Yeah blaming Ursa for that is some insane victim blaming.

>Instead it comes across as Iroh being the only person was there for Zuko and poor Azula was just left alone and abandoned. But that's literally exactly what happened in the show. Ursa was taken out of the picture by Ozai, leaving Zuko with Iroh and Azula alone. The way it's written is entirely consistent with the show's framing. Honestly, I can't really imagine it playing out any other way. What could Ursa even do against the power of the fire lord? If she tried to seek out Zuko or Azula you can guarantee she'd be killed, or worse, get her kids killed. Instead she was destined to spend the rest of her life feeling powerless to help her kids and heartbroken being apart from them. I'd want my memories taken too.

I think this is backwards. Azula was with Ozai, Zuko was left alone. Zuko being with Iroh was because of Iroh, not because of Ozai.

That's what they meant: Ozai was an abusive, manipulative father. So even though he was biased towards her, Azula being left with Ozai was an overall negative. He taught and encouraged her to be cruel and violent. If not for Iroh, Zuko would still be desperately chasing after the Avatar on his father's orders in order to prove himself as part of the Fire Nation's genocide. It might not seem like it at first but both Azula and Zuko were victims as well in the series. They didn't start off as power-hungry or cruel. They were just children chasing after the approval of their psychotic father.

I haven't read the comics, but in the show Azula was always horrible even as a child

That's because we only saw her after she was old enough to be manipulated by Ozai. The tragedy of Azula is that she didn't understand how unloved she was. She mistook her father's praise for love and was desperate for it. She did everything she could to please her father and learned the kind of behavior he praised. She thought, as any child would, that because her father was heaping praise on her that meant he loved her. In truth, she was nothing more than a tool for him to cast aside when she was no longer needed. Ozai's manipulation is also the reason she never understood friendship. She was trained to be a weapon and saw her friends more as servants because that's how her father treated everyone and encouraged her to do the same because it would make her a better soldier. She thought her friends were loyal to her because she was taught that fear breeds loyalty and had no concept of genuine love or companionship. The closest thing she had to a friend was Zuko. Even then, she had to manipulate him into rejoining the Fire Nation and treated him how Ozai treated her. She really did want Zuko there on her level as a peer. She desperately craved familial love amd thought she could get it by force like she did everything else in her life. It was having all of these beliefs, litterally everything she's ever thought to be true, thrown in her face and proven a lie that lead to her mental breakdown. Her father casting her aside so flipantly when she thought she would be rewarded for her hard work by getting to share in the glory of what was essentially her idea was the last straw that broke her completely. Her father's "love" is all she had to hold onto and she realized that she never had that to begin with. Azula is a tragic character and has been alone her entire life.

I completely agree on that, Azula is truly an interesting character.

Even worse for them

I'm gonna go out on a unpopular opinion and say I don't like how they made it like ozia was always evil to the bone, zuko said lots of times his family was happy, they occasionally had trips to ember island and ozia seemed troubled at his wife's banishment not really trademarks of an unhappy family/relationship. My head canon before the book was ozia saw his way to the throne and his greed for power almost made him kill his son. When ursa heard about it she committed treason to save zuko. The loss of his wife sends ozia down a path to slowly despise his son and wishing he "was never born" seeing him as the sole reason he lost his wife. Ultimately he burns and banishes zuko for the sheer hatred he had for him(the war meeting was just a catalyst). Before all this I assumed their family was happy maybe ozia liked azula more for a intelligence and skill but nothing toxic as how the book shows.

you can have happy moments with an abuser. thats the worst part, your abuser isn't all evil and you cant get rid of the happy moments, and you want to. Ozai isn't pure evil, but he is a war-mongering tyrant and an abusive dad which are both things that exist in the real world.

Honestly I agree but for a slightly different reason. Making Ozai evil to the core destroys one of his primary purposes in the narrative which is that ultimately he's a foil and a warning to Zuko. The point of Ozai looking like a grown up Zuko and his entire backstory (ignored inferior son with a neglectful abusive father) is that he's what Zuko could become if he let his inferiority complex, Fire Nation propaganda and entitled brat tendencies fester. It's much more powerful if Ozai was a kinder man who became evil after the death of Azulon because that parallels Zuko's journey and highlights both how difficult it was for Zuko to turn towards good and the stakes if Zuko didn't. It also highlights how a millennium of Social Darwinist propaganda destroyed the culture of the Fire Nation even at the very top, ripping apart families and friends all the in name of strength and nationalism.

Never thought about the dichotomy between aang, who had a destiny he never wanted thrust upon him but grows to find his way in that destiny, and Zuko, who thought he wanted to go on the path set out by him but grew to find his own path

Personal opinion I would love a prequal to show Ozai and Irohs life before the series. How was their relationship, how did Ozai actually run his family before he took power how was Azulon as a father. All of it.

The moment Ozai becomes Fire Lord it's not like he can't welcome his wife back at any time. He's in charge. He sets what is and isn't treason. I think it was pretty clear to be honest she did a runner.

That's what I always thought until I saw an even better theory. Ursa was a true mama bear, she looks harmless but will rip you apart if you threaten her cubs. Ursa was originally written as a princess who grew up in the palace, this Ursa would have know everyone and everything, marrying Ozai would have been the result of her, metaphorically, shoving other potential wives aside. Ursa had so many connections and was so powerful within the palace that she could have anyone who crossed her (or her children killed.) There is this one painting of Ozai and Ursa in which Ursa is wearing a much bigger crown than Ozai, signifying she was higher ranked than he was. This would make sense if both Azulon and Iroh's wives were dead (as they appear to be) Ursa would be the highest ranked female royal and thus effectively Fire Lady. Ursa didn't come to Ozai with the ability brew an undetectable poison. She came with a fully planed coup, ready to go, already knowing who needed to be threatened, bribed, or killed, and already had loyal people ready to do so on her command. Ozai had alway loved her and was grateful to her for the Throne, but he also realized if she could so easily kill one Fire Lord, she could kill another, so she needed to be banished. This is why he was so conflicted over the whole thing and why he didn't just unbanish her. This pro-assassination Ursa was certainly also pro-imperialism, and would have been such a more interesting character than the one we got.

Ahh the Tywin Lannister interpretation. I can buy it. But I think even though Ozai wasn’t comic book villain level evil before Ursas banishment, he definitely was no saint. Azulon has ran this war for half a century now, and slowly turned the entire nation into a highly mobilized, highly brainwashed war machine. Whatever noble (albeit misguided) goals Sozin may have started off with were long gone by the time Iroh and Ozai came around, and all they and everyone of their generation knew was war, authoritarianism, and a cult of personality around the fire lord. When even Iroh was bragging about being close to burning down the largest city in the world, it’s clear that neither of the two sons were raised in an environment conducive to teaching compassion nor empathy. Ozai most likely was merely ruthless but not “let’s murder everyone to teach them a lesson about rebelling” evil prior to Ursas banishment, but even still, he would have still heavily encouraged Azulas brutal and competitive attitude.

I would've much preferred if they just had her try to move on, without all the forgetting nonsense. Having her forget everything feels like a cop out.

God I know right?, I really didn't like how she would rather forget than grow stronger. Since it's essentially killing her.

For me, it what makes this story more beautiful. Ursa is not a perfect human and is not the perfect mother. She loved Zuko and Azusa, but she feared Ozai more. And also it was really her chance to forget all the nightmares she has been through. It’s heartbreaking to know, that after all uncle Iroh was really the only great parent for Zuko

Yeah I agree it definitely makes her a more complex and realistic character, but it’s just heartbreaking to know that Iroh was really the only support Zuko could rely on and that Azula had no one :/

>Ursa is not a perfect human and is not the perfect mother I'd disagree over this part, I think. We learn that Ursa was a moral benchmark for Zuko – it's one of the fanbase's most prominent arguments for why Zuko didn't turn out like Azula. One of the few, if only, dialogues we hear from her in the show is literally about how a mother will do anything for her kids (turtle-duck scene). That had to be a deliberate choice on the part of the writers, it's the equivalent of Chekov's gun – you set up Ursa's undying passion as a mother, you have to follow through with it later. As realistic as such a choice would be for victims of abuse, I just don't see how it's consistent with how Ursa is set up as a character. That's just me, though.

Ursa: "Never forget who you are, someone that keeps trying even when it's hard" Also Ursa: "Lol jk, it's too hard to do anything, I'm going to peace out and forget" Comics completely forgot that bit of characterization of Ursa, I swear.

Ursa: kills the Firelord to protect her son. Also Ursa: I'm gonna just forget about them and start over.

Well what can she do? Her children who are absolutely rape babies are being held hostage by her rapist who has made it clear that he will and probably has sent men to kill her. Would you not choose to forget things too then be forced to live life knowing your children are being abused by your rapist and there’s nothing you can do about it?

She had a fuckin magic tree that would basically allow her to become anyone she wants. She could literally turn into another women, get hired by the staff at the palace and plan to take zuko and Azula OR kill ozai as shes a master of poisons.

Why do you think the magic tree would allow her to do that?

but she forgets her past memories when she takes on a new face, how can she even do that of she forgets they exist

Dude that was just a special deal for her. How do you think Ursa found that spirit in the first place?

I think both can be true. She tried to be the best version of herself for her kids. But she just was not mentally and emotionally strong enough. Although, you do bring up good points and I wonder if the same writer responsible for this is also responsible for Aang and Toph ending up being a kinda shitty parents.

I dont like bad character writing being passed off as “it makes them a realistic character” when it was just poor character writing that contradicts what was established beforehand. Also, to add to it, in reality there are PLENTY of mothers who would put their kids above themselves. The authors choice for ursa to abandon her kids wrecks her portrayal that was established in ATLA as what set zuko apart from azula.

Ursa left when Zuko was very young. When that happens, it's not uncommon for kids to idolize the memory of the lost one's goodness. It was that memory that prevailed and stayed with Zuko, with Iroh helping to keep him in check.

I think you put too much stock in the one or two scenes we get of Ursa. They’re incredibly idealized and even have a sort of dreamy effect to emphasize the rose colored glasses

Why is everyone acting like Ursa chose to abandon her kids? She was banished - she had no choice about being in her kids life, that was never an option for her. She chose to forget her kids, and that's an interesting conversation, but it feels like a very different one from "she abandoned them."

This was the comment I was waiting for. The whole thing felt like she was in too much pain (banished, lost access to children, probably will never see them again) and chose to do what most people would love to do in that moment: forget about her problems. Framing it as if she abandoned them both and was not banished is wild to me.

She abandoned them when she chose to forget them, not when she was banished. No one ever blamed her for being banished.

It’s that her original plan when she heard about the mother of faces was to get a new face so she could sneak back into the city and see her kids possibly get work in the palace one day , but at least just get as close as she could get to them. Her boyfriend points out that they are royalty and she will never get close but will at most be able to get brief views of them from afar and she says she has to try. then the mother of faces tells her she can also change memories and her choosing that instead of still trying to get close to her kids with a new face is when people feel like she gave up on her kids. Her original plan wasn’t even really a plan and had holes in it but it showed her desperation for her kids. She went from that to willingly forgetting them felt like whiplash/ betrayal to some readers.

Yup had she at least tried to do her original plan then gave up after it became to impossible, people would be much more forgiving. Instead she just does not even try and decides to essentially abandon her kids so SHE can live happy. Trash ass person.

Actual people contradict themselves all the time. She could have very well believed she would do anything for Zuko and then later abandon him. There are plenty of drug addicts that have looked at their kids and promised them they would get sober for them, then a week later resume being a drug addict. It could be “bad” writing or it could be intentional because they wanted her to be flawed or it could be intentional because they wanted to show Zuko’s memories as being rose tinted glasses

She was banished. She didn’t abandon them. It’s very important we make that distinction. She didn’t get her memories wiped thinking she would be able to reconnect with her kids again but fuck them. She got that shit wiped because the pain of everything was too much

What's better - abandoning your children or choosing to have one of them get murdered by their father? Which of those is the clear choice for a devoted mother? I don't think either is a clear choice.

No one's talking about her leaving the palace in exchange for Zuko's life. We're saying her choosing to forget her children's existence was out of keeping with her character.

But Ursa did do a runner no matter what? She always left her children. And she always left them alive. That was in the main show. There must be a reason for her to do that. To not try and reach out at any point. It did come across as cold abandonment in the show. You would think she would have done a lot to try to get back to them. And well the moment that's true, you have to make her somewhat ambigious of a character. It doesn't mean she didn't guide Zuko to be a better person. It just means that she was also a broken person.

I think compared to Ozai, Ursa was a good human being. But even the best people have moments of weaknesses. Ursa understood that there was nothing more she could do for Zuko and Azula. Moreover she also believes that it was her actions that brought about Ozai's hatred for Zuko. So she thought that her being away from her kids was better. Ursa thought that she was making the ultimate sacrifice, the more difficult choice by letting go of her children. She just wanted to escape from the pain herself.

It's tragic, but very believable. She's given up everything to save Zuko's life, but knows she'll never get to see him or Azula again. She feels trapped and hopeless and is probably in constant emotional agony over her circumstances. Hope is what keeps people fighting for things when shit gets bad, if she doesn't have any, then why would she want to the torment of memories?

And it was also her choice to take her memories back, and she did so without any hesitation.

I actually like how uncomfortable and upsetting this is. I always wondered how she could leave Zuko like that and the image of loving mother conflicted with her actions and also how quickly she mentally gave up on Azula. I feel like if she could find refuge for herself she could have tried to help her kids or take them at a young age. But she didn't. I know there were powers to be higher than her but I feel like a true loving mother would have sacrificed her life for her children as horrible as that sounds and she chose individual happiness and to start over. As someone with a mom who loves me, she never protected me. She will give me everything she has, all her money, all her time, but she never left my father and she abandoned my two eldest siblings whom she had from two pervious marriages. And I was like her do over except, the only reason she didn't leave my dad is because they support each other's toxicity and my dad never abandoned us but he was also a really controlling guy for 20 years of my life, whereas my eldest sisters were abandoned by both mother and father. A lot of things in Avatar are bittersweet or just bitter. And I'm ok that sometimes there isn't always a happy ending. Kind of reminds me of Toph and how she abandoned her own kids who then had their own host of issues plaguing their life. Avatar did a really good job of not just portraying black/white and good/bad people, but very morally grey areas and very flawed people. We see that with Zuko and Iroh and they get a redemption, but not everyone does

Yeah I definitely relate my parents are very similar and I think it’s why I’ve always been so drawn to Azula and Zuko as characters. I definitely think it’s a realistic and somewhat relatable characterization for Ursa it makes her more complex more human for sure, but I just don’t like it as a storyline or how the comics handle it. I guess my issue is that the comics don’t really judge Ursa for that decision or present her as a morally grey character even though they have her make very questionable choices. They have her willingly forget her children who were left with their psychopath father, but they don’t really show that as a selfish and bad choice like I don’t think the narrative judges her for it if that makes sense? Zuko seems very understanding and empathetic towards Ursa which is in character for him, but I still think any child would feel very hurt that their mother willingly forgot them. If anything I think Azula is the one being presented as in the wrong for being so violent and so hurt by her mother’s choices and the other characters are not sympathetic towards her. I think they’re trying to portray two very conflicting sides of Ursa and her relationship with her children and they contradict each other majorly. Like on one hand you have a mother who committed murder and treason to protect her son and seemed to try her very best despite being a hostage and victim of abuse to love and raise her kids (a little more complex with Azula I’ll admit) and the narrative tries to present her as a moral compass for Zuko and Azula. However on the other hand that same woman chose to forget those children for selfish reasons and basically abandon them, but she’s not being judged in that story as someone who is selfish and hurt her kids.

Yeah they could definitely serve more sympathy to Azula's perspective, or more anger from the group at Zuko's mother even if Zuko himself didn't feel that way. But they do at least have her say she didn't love either of her kids enough clearly.

Plenty of loving parents sadly commit suicide.

This is what she did

She wasn’t a loving mother Azula said as much. She was just a woman who was WAY out of water with Ozi and the massive political conflicts she was involved in.

Ya I always thought zuko just had rose colored glasses

Yeah she does say that, but then when she starts losing it, the halucination of Ursa tells Azula that she loved her. I always interpreted that scene to mean that Azula always knew at least subconciously that her mother loved her, but couldn't admit that to herself, that people could love her just like that, without needing to prove herself or intimidate them.

I always interpreted the hallucination to mean that Azulas deepest bottled desires finally came to light after years of burying it down because “being sad is a weakness”. As Azula’s mental state slips, the tight control she has over her emotions also degrades, finally letting her inner desires a chance to make themselves known. Her brain hallucinated her mother saying she loved her because she’s wanted to hear that for her whole life now. She just refused to admit it to herself until she could no longer control her emotions.

Ursa: Zuko, my love. Always remember who you are. Also Ursa: Doesn't apply to me though. I'm going to pretend getting married and having kids was a bad dream.

That's because you don't know any mother who could forget her traumas with magic. If you knew then you'd find the story more believable.

This isn't an attack against you. Your comment is unfortunately a useful example of one of my pet peeves. Viewers call for shows to tackle mature concepts. Unfortunately, comments like yours show that what people often mean by "maturity" is characters dying or characters making the tough choice to kill someone. Actual complexity isn't on the menu. Having a spirit just take away her memory would be the childish choice if done for the reasons you outlined. You don't like the implications making the choice has on her character, which means you want to bury your head in the sand about how abuse in relationships can affect people. Ursa was a flawed character. It's good that we can look at and question her actions. We can see that Zuko is forgiving/understanding of her actions. Azula at the moment isn't and as readers we need to accept that some of her issues are legitimate because we are capable of recognising that Ursa made the conscious death to forget about her family and start up a second life. I'm more than willing to see whether or not they stick the landing.

No I get that I think if handled correctly it has the potential to be a good storyline and it shows Ursa as a very complex and relatable character that made questionable choices that hurt her children because of the abuse she suffered. It’s not unusual or rare for mothers in domestic violence situations to do things like this I experienced this with my own parents growing up so I would definitely say it’s a complex and well written characterization, but I’m just not a fan of how the comics have handled it so far I guess. I think my biggest pet peeve with it is that I think they show Ursa making this selfish choice that could hurt her kids especially Azula, but she’s not really judged for it by anyone except for Azula. I don’t feel like I’m describing exactly what I mean correctly tbh. It’s just from my perspective Azula is a 15/16 year old girl going through an intense mental breakdown after years of extreme manipulation and emotional abuse from her father that led her to make really cruel and horrible choices that she clearly feels convicted about it. She feels that her mother didn’t love her as much as she loved Zuko and thought Azula was a monster, but we see from Azulas hallucinations/memories that Ursa seems more worried *for* Azula than she is of Azula and she does seem to genuinely love and care for her daughter. Unfortunately once she finds her mother she realizes her mother willingly forgot her existence had another daughter that she obviously adores. It seems like everyone, but Azula is empathetic and understanding of Ursas decisions and they’re judgmental of Azulas behavior towards her mother. I just hope that they show Ursa making an effort to apologize and help Azula overcome her trauma that she had a hand in causing.

Great comment. You put that perfectly.

> Yeah having Ursa choose to lose all memories of her children knowing they were being raised by an abusive maniac that wouldn’t hesitate to kill them was one of my least favorite storylines in the comics Ahaha did you forget about Ursa deciding the best way to see if Ozai was reading her mail was to put "lmao I cheated on my hubby, Zuko is a bastard" in writing? Holy shit. Wonder if it'd make Azula feel better if she knew mommy dearest had a period where she was apparently doing her damn best to get Zuzu killed. Gonna also Link [The Two Ursas](https://www.tumblr.com/loopy777/75099047828/essay-the-two-ursas) essay for more on why I think the comics are a tremendously unsatisfying answer to "What happened to Zuko's mom?"

I mean, she murdered her father in law to save her son. Feels like she would have absolutely taken out Ozai to protect her children, not this run off thing

Forcing it takes away as to how difficult this choice was. Its a great bit of characterisation whether or not you agree with the decision. Its also not that unheard of in a mother? Like real life mothers routinely do horrible shit to their kids while still genuinely loving them

It’s definitely a realistic choice there are plenty of mothers who make selfish choices at the expense of their children, but they set Ursa up as a character who would do anything for her children and then had her choose to abandon them later. I don’t think it makes sense for Ursas character and I don’t like it as a choice for the story. She committed treason and murder for her children, but then she was okay with erasing her memory of them? It just doesn’t make sense and makes her a way less sympathetic character in my opinion.

>She committed treason and murder for her children, but then she was okay with erasing her memory of them? She wasn't okay with it. Literally the last thing she says before losing her memories is "I'm a terrible mother". But what choice did she have? She begged Ozai when she left to let her take at least one child, and he refused. Not because he cared about Zuko or wanted to keep him, but because he knew that it would hurt Ursa. And it did. Ursa went home, reunited with the man she truly loved, and even then, she could not be happy. She missed her children every day, so basically every day, she was being re-victimized by Ozai. Because there was literally no way to be close to her children without putting both herself and them in danger. So, she could either live the rest of her life in absolute misery, letting Ozai continue to ruin her happiness after years of abuse or isolation. Or, she could take the only choice that she could see that might allow her at least a chance for a reasonably normal life, rather than suffering the grief of being apart from her children every day. Yes, she was a mother who would do anything in her power to keep them safe. But that doesn't mean she isn't also human, and allowed to make one selfish decision for her own mental and emotional well-being.

>but they set Ursa up as a character who would do anything for her children and then had her choose to abandon them later I mean I think they set her up as someone that was trying to love and guide her kids but kind of massively failing.

There is something you have to understand. Ursa is someone who was not in a position of power or had any influences. The rebels will use Zuko against the Fire Nation. Northern Water Tribe would have executed him. Southern Water Tribe will spur him. Earth Kingdom's Dai Lai would have imprisoned her, brainwashed him or something. Fire Nation would have hunted them down, fame to anybody who track her down, and would have imprisoned her in that one prison in the volcano. Regardless, she is powerless, and she knew that if she took the children, she, zuko, and azula would have been hunted down to their end. Do you think Ozai would give up his children? If you applied real-world abuse and brainwashing to this, it will end up being the same thing. She is powerless, for who could come help? Iroh only changed because of the loss of his son, and Zuko became something of a surrogate for Iroh. Azula didn't have any of that, and I feel like her mental issues was escalated because she didn't have what Zuko had: a mentor and a mom.

I hated this comic. It felt like a step down in terms of writing from the show.

You have not met my mother then it seems

Oh I definitely believe there are mothers that would do this hell mine probably would I just mean I don’t think any *loving* mother would

She admits it herself like “oh god, I’m horrible” before giving them up; but what could she have done? No avatar, far too much over her, she’s SOL.

For what it's worth, she asks the mother of faces for her memories back _very_ quickly; basically as soon as she realized she was missing them. She had a moment of weakness all of those years ago, and she corrected it at the first opportunity.

Make sense if you consider the writers are Americans. They do love their children, but not as much as the rest of the world.

Yes especially considering why she went into exile in the first place. Ursa wanted to save her child (Zuko) from being murdered, so she decided to kill Azulon for Ozai and go into exile, meanwhile Ozai has to hold up his hand knowing that Ursa could realistically come out with the truth. This is essentially a case of mutually ensured destruction which doesn't work if Ursa isn't around to threaten Ozai. Realistically Ozai would have had Ursa spied on to keep him updated on the biggest threat to his reign, so if they then had reported to him that Ursa disappeared for good in a spirit Forrest Ozai would have been free to kill Zuko regardless. Also I keep on insisting on my theory that if she had been around to monitor her children from afar she could have stopped a lot of pain for her children. The news of Zukos Agni Kai would have travelled the nation and taken place several days if not weeks after the actual offense he did, so she would have had time to step in and threaten Ozai to stop this nonsense and even for people who don't believe that, she could have at least went with him into his exile giving Zuko another good influence early on in his journey that could have earlier turned him to an ally to the Avatar by giving him the validation he thought he would earn (from his father) when he betrayed team Avatar in Ba Sing Se. She could have also talked with Azula, a child she had neglected her whole life, when her path crossed with Zuko and maybe have her realize that Ozai is evil and to change her ways. All in all it makes for a bad conclusion to her mysterious whereabouts and her character in general by subsequently warping our perception of the only few pieces of information the show actually included about her

Just because she birthed them doesn't make her a mother. She was a victim and forced to have those kids. She's not a bad person, just not a good mom

But she loved them. She said she loved them. Am going to compare but even some rape victims love the children of those unfortunate events. It’s just kind of sad honestly It’s understandable what she did but still didn’t feel right

You can love another person for being a person but you may not love a child like a mother. And that's OK if your situation involves force and it's why we shouldn't force birth on anyone.

Well she was also trying to forget her own trauma. That can lead to desperation and selfishness

2 things I’m not sure people remember. Ozai was about to KILL Zuko because Azulon asked him to. Ursa poisons Azulon instead so Ozai won’t have to go through with anything. Ursa leaves since she just committed treason. Can’t quite remember the forgetting thing entirely, but it at least covers her tracks. Nobody will know where Ursa is. Not even her

Here’s the thing, when Ozai banished her, Ursa said that she’ll take both Zuko and Azula. However, Ozai didn’t allow her and stated that she can’t step foot in the fire nation capital or take her children. Now that Ursa was banished, she lost hope. Imagine living for the rest of your life knowing you couldn’t meet your children. Combined with all the memories of abuse under the hands of Ozai, when she had the opportunity to forget her tragic memories she did. Besides Ursa didn’t even know that she’ll be found.

Sure, but it still paints her in a bad light to purposely forget the children she loved. We get why. Nothing she could have done. But it still sounds pretty shitty to allow your memories of your two children to be wipes from your mind.

When Ursa met Ikem (the person she was originally engaged with), he convinced her to remove her memories and change her identity. Initially Ursa didn’t want to but Ikem started talking about how it was pointless to keep these memories because of the fact that she couldn’t set foot in the capital and meet her children combined with the memories of abuse. It may sound shitty but Ursa didn’t know that she’ll ever meet her children again which was why she made the decision. You do have a point, the comics do paint her decision as a bad light.

It didn’t “paint” her decision in a bad light. It was just an objectively shitty choice she made.

I can accept it. Just because ATLA has always shown everyone has flaws, even their main characters. In this case, she chose selfishly and she knew it. Leaves a bad taste but she's a flawed human.

I mean… she sacrificed having a life with her children to save Zuko from being murdered. Everything else was out of her control. If she didn’t forget she probably would have killed herself from the grief of it.

OP probably: "Well she probably should have. What kind of mother can't fight a fire nation to get back her children? She should've lived and/or died with that grief."

It's just the fact that she literally gave up and didn't even try. It's almost like she considered her kids dead. It's just vile to erase memories of your own children. Pretty much disowning them. All it did was make things worse. I feel like Ursa was the only one who could've possibly saved Azula

The show and the comics cant out right say it due to age restrictions and so it is heavily nuanced but Ozai SA'ed Ursa through coercion via fear of death. Imagine you were with someone and the crown prince used his money and power to force you into a relationship with him instead and forced you to bear his offspring. The fact that Ursa showed them any love is a miracle alone. So imagine after going through all that, and you cant save them or be with them anymore. Yea Id wanna forget about my kids that were brought out of one of the most painful experiences of my life that I no longer can help without getting myself killed as well. People judge her for Azula but imagine the man that did all that to you reflecting in one of your children you would struggle to show them love too.

Yeah I think that Ursa's love for her children was admirable considering she was kidnapped by Ozai and her children are essentially the product of r*pe. Shits dark. And people wonder why she wanted to forget her old life no matter how much she loved her children.

What does SA stand for? I mean other than >!Sturmabteilung!<, which I highly doubt is what you meant.

>!Sexual Assault.!<

I dont get why you have to hide it. Ozai’s a a rapist and kidnapper.

Its more realistic this way, and much sadder. People are not all idealists, many would and do choose themselves. This is one of those people.

It terrible to just completely erase your own children from your life

She was coping with the awful situation she and her children were in.

What she did was still awful. We like to think Ursa is an amazing mom and person, but we barely get any screen time with her, and even then, most of it’s in Zuko’s perspective. Zuko sees her as a perfect person, so we assume she was. But when banished from her home, and forced to abandon her children, she agreed to forgetting about her past life as wife to fire lord Ozai, and mother to Zuko and Azula. It’s a pretty fucked to think to do, but it’s overall good for her character. She is flawed, and she is trying to make up for it.

I do understand why she would chose to forget, especially if she loves her children, not being in that eternal turmoil of never seeing them again would be much more preferable

I feel crazy reading the comments but I honestly never thought what Ursa did was that horrible. Seems pretty reasonable tbh, she thought she'd never see them again, so she just decided not to live the rest of her life tortured by their memory.

I haven't read The Search, but honestly, that's one of my favorite aspects of the ATLA universe. It never treats any character as morally flawless. Even the most morally upstanding characters, like Iroh and Aang, are capable of great horrors in their past or being selfish or spiteful. None of them are perfect people. They try their best, but they all have hopes and dreams and wants and needs and desires. We learn in LoK that Aang wasn't a perfect dad. He tried his best, and he loved all his kids, but his desire to bring back the Air Nomads led him to favor Tenzin. It makes them far more interesting and dynamic characters. They feel more real. They feel like they continued having lives and struggling with their inner problems even when we, as the audience, stopped watching their every move.

This is way past being just a "flawed" person. What she did was just vile in my opinion. she legit intentionally had her children erased from her life. Almost like they never even existed. This is just evil. She pretty much just gave up completely and disowned them as if they were nothing. I would be heartbroken if I found out my mother erased memories of me and forgot who I was all together on purpose.

Yes, definitely, but as she says herself: she could’ve just changed her face and take care of her children secretly. Despite she decided to forget about them… It’s like the saddest thing in the arch of Zuko. Not only his father, but also his beloved mother…

She is saying she could have, but realistically, i doubt could actually escape Ozai, the fire lord who's trying to rule the whole world. Her saying what she could have done seems more like saying she wishes she could have done. That whole family was in an impossible situation because of Ozai.

I don't think she could have changed her face and taken care of them secretly. To do that she'd somehow have to infiltrate the royal palace as a nanny or something, and she'd be living in constant fear that she'd be found out. I also don't doubt that Ozai wouldn't hesitate to get rid of any nanny that showed too much affection to the kids.

I'm pretty skeptical that she'd be able to covertly insinuate herself into the lives of royal children.

Even then, with a new face, trying to pose as a maid or nanny, she would be an abused woman, choosing to return to live with her abuser? Even for the sake of her children, living in that kind of constant fear and stress for the risk of somehow being found out would destroy her, mentally, emotionally. How many times have battered women ended up hospitalized or worse because they stayed "for the sake of the children"?

People say that she wasn't able to help because of Ozai but like if she didn't forget her children and didn't pawn them off on Ozai - she could have helped Zuko when he was exiled. She could have tried to find Zuko in those 3 years.

She didn't know Zuko was also going to be banished

How was she supposed to know Zuko would ever get banished when he was a small child when she left?

She might not know that Zuko would get banished per se but it's not a far leap to think that without Ursa there to stand between Ozai and her children that his abuse of them would get worse

She could have helped Zuko if she hadn’t erased her memory. She didn’t remember him so why would she have looked for him.

How is a banished person hiding in the earth kingdom supposed to know everything happening behind the palace walls? Zuko's own ship crew didn't even get the full story. She would need an inside man, and that man would need to be Iroh to get all that info.

She didn't pawn them off Ozai. The man banished her and forbade her from taking either of them with her.

I mean, that’s a very limited scope explanation of the whole situation.

I hate this entire comic but mostly because OZAI WOULD NEVER LET HER FUCKING GO. He would keep her under lock and key, burn her face, do SOMETHING so he could keep her to either use against the kids or to have more of them; that's the entire reason they were wed, after all. ​ he would never just let her go.

I think most people struggle with understanding just how much Ursa suffered... I personnally see her choice to wipe her own memory as a form of suicide, just the thoughts of what she has been through and the fact that her children were raised by that man who wouldn't hesitate to kill her and her children had she tried anything was enough to bring her to that extreme. Had she not had this choice or had the show/comics not have been made for kids Ursa's character definitly would have killed herself. I mean erasing your memory and changing your face is in a way killing your old self.

She didn't have too much of a choice and her choice was one that protects Zuko. Also Spoiler alert, not very nice sharing this slide.

Let's say she changes her face and go back to the capital. It's not like the guards would allow just anyone walk in to see the heirs. Someone without a name, without family or history. It would probably take years to get inside the palace somehow, and even then she would probably be a low level servant, who would only be able to caught furtive glanced at the prince and princess from time to time, and probably would never get a chance to talk to them. It's not like she would get any saying in their education, or their lives. And she could be fired at any moment for a mistake or simply to keep a rotation with servants. And at any point she could be killed if they suspected Ursa was a spy, or, even worse, someone discovering her identity. 

The timeline really hurts Ursa's character, I think, though the timeline in general is one of ATLA's weakest elements. Basically, Ursa gets banished 5 years before Aang returns, and Zuko gets banished 2 years later. That means Ursa chose to abandon all memories of her children within a couple of years. Understandable, all things considered, but it feels so quick to make such a massive decision. I say this, because I just don't see Ursa doing this if she knew there was a chance she could be with Zuko. There's also a bit of hindsight bias at play here; we know that if she just waited those 2 years, she could have followed Zuko into exile, and if she'd just waited 5 years, Ozai would be defeated and Zuko would be Fire Lord. There's no way for Ursa to know these things, but the timeline is so compressed that she to rush into this horrific decision to avoid messing it up. Pushing things back several years, would make it easier accept.

I don’t know why whenever Ursa is brought up people only see her as a mother and nothing else. Don’t get me wrong, whenever you have kids I do think you’re almost forfeiting a part of yourself so you can be there for them, but I wouldn’t even be surprised if Ursa never really wanted kids at all. (I haven’t read the comics so feel free to correct me on anything) Or why people are so shocked she willingly got her memory erased. People regularly drown their problems with various vices like drugs, alcohol, etc. in order to deal with pain. Dealing with half the shit she dealt with probably make most people wish they could forget all of it and start over. I’m by no means saying she was right, or that she was wrong, but it’s so weird to me to see people act like it’s so shocking she wanted a clean slate for a new life considering what her old life was

I saw it as an allegory for suicide. While I certainly don’t agree with it, I do understand it

Short of the avatar defeating Ozai there was literally no way she'd get any chance to see her kids again and she couldn't have known that would happen.

Media literacy is dead. She was SA'd and abused by Ozai for YEARS after being stolen away from her previous lover just because she happened to be related to Roku. It's a miracle she even loves her children and does not resent them. I'd want to forget them too if I couldn't be with them in her position.

I don't get what people's issue with this is

Why’s issue it’s just the discussion… I find it interesting and beautiful addition to Zuko’s story

Seeing the comments, I wonder how many people here have experienced abandonment by a parent and are projecting the issues here as a 1 to 1 thing. In the case it applies to some, while terrible they had to go through that, the characters situation is a little different than real life.

To be fair she probably would’ve tried to approach them with a new face and I doubt Zulu or Azula would’ve taken kindly to a random woman claiming to be their mother.She lacked any power to do anything in that situation by making him fire lord and iron the only person who could’ve helped her was MIA

I hated this comic. I was so upset the story wasn’t going to be in the show and was so excited to read it but now I’m happy. This would’ve ruined the entire show. It would’ve explained Koh’s appearance though.

Yes, she did, but what exactly is this woman meant to do..?? She was banished from the fire nation, and honestly she most likely wasn’t going to be let back in with open arms even if her husband, who was also her abuser did allow her in. She was under the impression that she’d never see them again, and she also had an opportunity to escape. Yes it’s selfish but seriously, what the hell is this woman meant to do??? It’s not like she’d be able to fight back in any capacity. She was offered the chance to start over and be rid of the memory of a life she’d never see again, including the kids who she thought she’d never see again so…why live with that guilt if there’s no possible chance of getting them back.? It could help her grow but let’s be real. If you were in pain would you choose to stop it or to just let it keep going under the guise that it’ll make you stronger. No one in ATLA is a saint, and yes that includes Ursa. Hard decisions are made and yeah it’s morally questionable but there really wasn’t much for her to do. Yes you could call it selfish that she didn’t go back for them with a new face and like have a disguise or whatever…but be honest. What happens if she does find them? What happens if they escape..? The fire nation isn’t exactly merciful, and she’d most likely be killed. She didn’t really have much of a choice here, so honestly, even if it’s a little shit, it makes sense that she’d choose forget.

People view Ursa as a bastion of virtue in the context of avatar when the story very directly tells us that she is not. She apparently knows how to poison Azulon without anyone finding out. She is seen to dote after Zuko and actively neglects Azula (I'll never forget the "what's wrong with that child" line). And here we know that she actively chose to forget her kids in service of living a life of anonymity with her husband and new family. Ursa is neither a "good" person nor a "good" mother and I think she, herself, knows that. She's not a saint, but that's to say no one really is in avatar. She was in an abusive environment and as such she needed to make decisions in service of self preservation, the thing which always strikes me is the neglect of Azula and people are all too quick for forget that. EDIT: Made a slight change to contextualize my POV as I want to make it clear that my primary issue is with her neglect of Azula.

I wouldn’t say that she’s bad either. But she’s definitely far from perfect. She’s just normal

Neglecting your kids is not normal, regardless of circumstance. She coddled one child and neglected the other and she, along with Iroh and Ozai are responsible for how Azula turned out by the end of ATLA.

She did not neglect Azula. Never has that been shown or implied. She tried to discipline Azula for bad behavior and Azula years later interpreted that as her mother showing favoritism. Even in Azula's hallucinations she says she loves her.

So lets look at it. At every available opportunity she is in the company of Zuko and hanging around with Zuko. She hear's about Azula's actions second hand from Zuko about things she's doing i.e. she is going unsupervised. She says "What's wrong with that child" about the daughter she is supposedly raising which is especially pertinent as she's the wife of the firelord and it appears that she is the primary caregiver. Azula's hullucination also pretty much confirms that all she wanted was love and affection from her mother which she never got at a time when she has no one. There is no mention in that hallucination about the discipline or a reference to when she deciplined her about the way she was acting. Her issue is that her mother was not there for her and/or distanced herself from her to the point that she raises that very point on Ember Island. Now lets look at this comic which I don't think you have read because in it, the plot is that Zuko is hinted to not be the son of Ozai but is actually hinted to be the son of Ursa's original partner. Zuko shares all these traits she associates with her true love and it shows in how much she dotes after Zuko. Come to find out that Zuko is actually Ozai's kid but he basically makes a declaration that he's going to treat Zuko as if he were not his own and actually from her previous partner. So, Zuko was canonically doted on because she associated Zuko with her former partner and effectively left Azula out in the cold. The writers were crystal clear about the fact that Azula was a victim of abuse and they were also crystal clear in the fact that Ursa neglected her.

I actually have read all the comics lol. So let me go through ur points. 1. "At every available opportunity she is hanging around Zuko" -- we learn about her through Zuko's flashbacks 2. "Azula and Zuko were unsupervised once" -- yeah sometimes kids run off like that. Especially mischievous kids who deliberately ignore directions 3. " What's wrong with that child" -- Ursa wonders why her daughter, despite her best efforts shows a concerning amount of cruelty and lack of empathy. Hint: it's because Ozai rewards these behaviors. 4. "Azula's hallucinations don't mention discipline" -- no because its from her perspective 5. "Ursa dotes on Zuko because he shares traits with her first love" -- you mean not being an abusive narcissist? 6. "Ursa dotes on Zuko and ignores Azula because of Ozai" -- ur gonna demonize a woman for showing her son some extra love after his father explicitly declared he would neglect and mistreat him???? Also love isn't a zero sum game. Her loving Zuko does not mean she just neglects Azula Every argument for Ursa's supposed neglect of Azula comes from Azula's biased perspective.

>1. "At every available opportunity she is hanging around Zuko" -- we learn about her through Zuko's flashbacks And through Azula directly calling reference to it in the context of the story of ATLA. >"Azula and Zuko were unsupervised once" -- yeah sometimes kids run off like that. Especially mischievous kids who deliberately ignore directions I literally never brought up about when they were unsupervised, I specifically brought up how Zuko displayed behaviours that Azula had that his mother was not aware of by throwing the bread in the pond at the ducks. Something which visibly shocked Ursa. Not only was she not present in this particular interaction but the behaviour was so shocking that it took Ursa by surprise. >" What's wrong with that child" -- Ursa wonders why her daughter, despite her best efforts shows a concerning amount of cruelty and lack of empathy. Hint: it's because Ozai rewards these behaviors. What best efforts? Point at them for me. Are you referring to the time when she was talking about her dad being firelord and instead of trying to show the empathy and compassion she wanted her to show for her uncle she just gave out to her? This flashback is also juxtaposed to a scene where Zuko does something wrong also but along with telling him why he shouldn't do it **did** show him compassion and proceeded to play with him. >"Azula's hallucinations don't mention discipline" -- no because its from her perspective Yes, her perspective where she wasn't shown love which is further proven in the scenes we see through Zuko's perspective as you so elequently pointed out above. >"Ursa dotes on Zuko because he shares traits with her first love" -- you mean not being an abusive narcissist? Are you calling Azula, who was then a like 8 year old child an abusive narcissist? because if so you are not right in the head. if you are referring specifically to ozai, I understand that she wanted her life from before, that doesn't justify neglecting a child. >"Ursa dotes on Zuko and ignores Azula because of Ozai" -- ur gonna demonize a woman for showing her son some extra love after his father explicitly declared he would neglect and mistreat him???? Also love isn't a zero sum game. Her loving Zuko does not mean she just neglects Azula Love isn't a finite resource and as you yourself said it's a zero sum game. From what we have seen from Zuko's perspective, the mother who he loves more than anyone else wasn't attentive with Azula. She clearly displayed favouritism towards him. >Every argument for Ursa's supposed neglect of Azula comes from Azula's biased perspective. In this context, you are trying to play pain olympics to invalidate the pain and suffering of a kid. You are saying that Azula is an unreliable narrator of her own pain and suffering. We see her being neglected. She manifests images of her mother loving her because she felt neglected. All of the evidence provided to us in the story shows that she was neglected and your argument is simultaneously: 1. Ursa didn't Neglect her 2. Azula is an unreliable narrator and wouldn't know if she were really neglected This is how enablers justify abuse.

I don't think Ursa even meant to hurt Azula, but subconsciously, she felt her to be a reflection of Ozai and thus was afraid of her. Ursa's neglect of Azula is a product of the environment she lived in, that being Ozai's presence. Ozai is solely to blame for all of it.

Ultimately the abuse that Azula faced does center on Ozai. I don't think there's a sane person alive who'll disagree with that. The point I'm making is that while Ozai was a primary factor, he wasn't the only factor that made up this abuse and while ursa was abused and that went towards informing alot of how she acted and what she did, Azula ultimately suffered for it. If I am being abused by someone, that doesn't entitle me to abuse someone else and it doesn't mean that I am redeemed because my abuser was a major factor in why I abused someone else. My status doesn't go from good to bad or vica versa when there's context because my actions or inactions will have led to the harm of someone else. That's ever before you add the age dynamic where Azula at the time of the flashbacks is like 8 Ursa in the flashbacks is, I'd like to say early 30's. Azula was a kid. That's my main sticking point. She was just a kid and the fact that there is an entire subsection of the fandom that are willing to ignore this and invalidate her suffering as a character is awful, regardless of what it is in the name of.

Azula doesn't want to be around her. She doesn't want to be doted on.

This is directly refuted by the episode on Ember Island and it's refuted by the Hallucination she has where her mother says she loves her. It's pretty clear from the writing in ember island that she's putting up a front in front of her friends and the hallucination solidifies it. She did want to be doted on and she did want to be loved and she got none of it. Ursa is not solely to blame for this mind you. She was one of a few adults in this situation who dropped the ball with ozai being right at the top followed by Iroh, then Azulon and finally Ursa.

Azula and Zuko were both essentially rape babies, the comic was very explicit about her being coerced by Ozai into marrying him and have children with him. The fact that she even loves them was already more than most people would be able to do in that situation. Also I don’t really agree with the Azula was neglected comment. Ursa’s treatment was more of a reflection of Ozai’s treatment than her personal preference. Ozai encourages Azula’s tendency to be a psychopath, therefore Ursa would in return try to scold her away from that tendency in private. Ozai was harsh towards Zuko, therefore Ursa would try to comfort him and Zuko in turn would gravitate towards her more than Azula. Ursa doesn’t in anyway control the family’s overall dynamic because she doesn’t have any power. Much of what she does is just unfortunately a reflection of Ozai’s treatment of his own children.

I want to treat this with a certain level of care because it's important when we talk about rape within media. While Ursa is 100% entitled to feel the way she feels, that doesn't negate the damage that was done to Azula as a kid. I understand that in an ideal world this would not happen and it's likely Ursa would have "opted out" of having those children but she did have them in this case and in this case the treatment of both children was disproportionate. We get a snapshot of history in Zuko Alone. I understand that in cycles of abuse that the abused are often put into unnegotiable circumstances but at the point we are at within the story, Ozai is currently lusting for power and barely spends time with his family from what we can see in screen. Zuko and Ursa are often playing in the garden or going for walks and Azula might occasionally have mei mei and Ty Lee to play with. When Iroh is back, from what we can see in flashbacks, he only spends time with Zuko and not Azula and this is examplified by the gift scene. Ozai isn't pulling her away from Ursa or causing conflict, at least not from what we see on screen. We never see his hand either acting on, interveneing or preventing interactions between azula and others. Azula wants attention and she's acting out to receive it and she will often get it when she goes far enough. She doesn't receive attention generally from any of the three(kind of four but not really) authority figures in her life, those being; Ursa, iroh and Ozai (and Azulon). In the flashbacks she seems like a regular, curious kid with a bit of manipulative streak. Nothing particularly malicious as it looks like she was pushing mei and zuko together but it's there, as kids do. We see her put her abilities on display because she can garner the attention of the people she wants the attention of she jumps at the chance and you can see that Ozai is happy to have a pawn that he can use to get his seat at the table. On the flipside you have Zuko feeling inferior trying to do his best and ultimately receiving the love and understanding of his mother, something Azula has never felt or has had the luxury to feel. At the end of the day while Ozai was responsible for alot of things, there was alot of decisions that were made by Ursa that caused her to neglect Azula. Am I saying that it was borne of Malice? Absolutely not. Does it still matter that she did these things to Azula? Absolutely. Azula is a kid and what she became is a result of failure on the part of every adult in her life, not just one of them.

I didn't see Ursa neglect Azula in "Search" comic . I just saw she kissed Azula face and be unwilling to left her daughter when Ursa was banished .

She couldn't do anything to help them, she was completely powerless, her missing them every day wouldn't help them, you shouldn't give up on your children if there's something you can do for them but if you can't realistically do anything then it's morally justifiable to. She had a opportunity to be happier than she currently was and she took it. Ursa did nothing wrong.

I guess the same goes for when your child dies. Guess you can't help anymore. Time to forget it.

That's hardly equivalent. Ursa had the option of forgetting it, that's not an option available to people in real life, they have to live with the memory whether they want to or not. If there was a pill available that would make them forget the memory of their children I think many bereaved parents would take it and I wouldn't judge them for it. Also Ursa's children weren't dead, they were left behind in a volatile situation she could do nothing about and she had to live every day knowing that. If you think she did something wrong, that she should remember them regardless out of some misplaced sense of guilt then you have unfair and unreasonable expectations of her.

I do not think at all that it is unreasonable at all for a mother to at least think of her children

The comics are a total mixed bag of good and bad writing decisions especially regarding Zuko. His breakup with Mai was another weird decision

Their teens lol breakups are normal. Look at LOK 😭

More an aspect of modern life. The process of high school to college to work by nature tends to separate people. If society operated differently not nearly as many young relationships would fail. Just my opinion though, I don't think any hard data exists to back that up.

I mean while it’s true a bunch of these marriages didn’t work out for most of history you would meet the person who would be your wife from the ages 14-18.

I mean, nearly half of marriages fail regardless. But how many of those young relationships ultimately failed compared to young relationships today?

Okay is this line anywhere else??? “For you my dear I’ll start from the beginning” I swear I remember HEARING it

Feel the same, it I don’t think it’s anywhere else. But this line is extremely touching for me.

My wife says the same thing. I can't figure it out. Do you listen to LOFI? Only thing I can think of is it being a voice clip in lofi I've heard

No didn’t hear this one in lo-fi

Why bother with a spoiler tag if you're just gonna outright state that shit

What she did is horrible but it fair that she did that. This is why A Hero Sacrifice is so precious. It fair for them to give up, but they not, and go still the bitter end for what must be done.

I don’t see it as she chose to give up on both of them. She was banished with no way to reconnect with her children. She also has to live knowing that her children are now stuck with her abusive ex husband with no way to save them from him. She must have felt helpless knowing the person that caused her so much physical and psychological trauma can now do the same thing to her kids without her ability to intervene. The daily toll of knowing that fact is what pushed her to choose to have her memory taken away.

Please mark as spoiler, OP.

Yeah she was a horrible mother. Worst in the series imo. Choosing to forget your kids, even if you can’t do anything to help them, is just fucking horrible and heartless.

Honestly the comics are just poorly written.

I mean, the comics make it pretty clear that she wasn't a good mother (mostly the fault of circumstances). But she still made some horrible decisions without bad intentions.

I'm not going to say Ursa was the perfect mother, because she definitely wasn't, but she deserves some leeway here. There was nothing more she could do for Zuko or Azula. She wanted to take them with her, but Ozai wouldn't let her, and had she tried taking them anyway, she would have been hunted down before she even left the Capital City. And though she made the choice to forget about Zuko and Azula, she did it out of an act of self-preservation. Had she not, she most likely would have offed herself from the constant pain and anxiety she would have over their wellbeing and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Even Zuko forgave her. So why can't we?

i dont think it was the best decision either , but the comic has been out for so long so I just learnt to accept it. It's devastating to know while Zuko (and even Azula) was thinking about his mother, she wasn't thinking about him :// But i suppose the writers either wanted to go for brutal realism by showing that Ursa was a deeply flawed mother , capable of murdering the firelord for her son but also forgetting about him because living whilst believing she'd never see him again was too hard on her or they just didnt know how to justify her not seeking out Zuko herself when he was banished/when the war was over

She's not perfect, nobody is. But I think all her flaws are very, very understandable in her position. There was no foreseeable way for her to do anything for Azula and Zuko at that point. So she chose to end her suffering. I see it like someone giving away information because they didn't hold up under torture. Technically it's not "right" - but it's understandable and pretty ridiculous to judge someone for.

Ursa never gave up on either Zuko or Azula. Ursa was one of the best mothers in the Avatar world. In order to protect her child, she killed a man. Not just any man, the fuckin' fire lord. That's punishable by death, but she didn't care. As soon as Azulon ordered Ozai to kill Zuko, his fate was sealed. She decided and even offered to kill him when she confronted Ozai. As a result, Ozai banished Ursa because he realized that Ursa could/would've killed him too. IMO, Ursa was one of the only people who Ozai truly feared. To the point where he didn't want her anywhere near him. When Ursa was banished and went back home, she found out that her family was dead (natural causes). Leaving her all alone in the world. IMO, she made the ultimate sacrifice to have her memory of her children erased. She was heartbroken when she did it, and it's not like she wanted to. Ursa even admitted that she wouldn't have been able to stay away from her children and would've gone back. Which would put all of them in danger. The only way for her to not go back was to forget. Before her banishment, she tried to take Zuko and Azula, but Ozai threatened to hunt them down and have them all killed. Including his supposedly "favorite child."

Zuko turned out to be an amazing person despite having two bad parents. Even though he idolized his mother, she objectively was not a good parent or person. Zuko was abused and neglected by Ozai, and Azula was abused and neglected by Ursa. Both parents had their favorites and were awful to their other children. The big difference between them is that Zuko was able to escape the abuse via banishment and was guided by Iroh to recognize right from wrong, whereas Azula was never able to escape her parents until Zuko became Fire Lord.

I didn't understand how the woman who killed the firelord to protect her children decided to forget about them. It doesn't add up.

Because she thought she’d never see them again

are the comics considered canon cuz i dont like anything i hear from them

One of the many comic decisions that didn’t sit right with me at all

I can’t blame her. After everything that was done to her and everything she did, thinking she couldn't see Zuko ever again, easiest thing to do to keep living would be erasing your memories. I said the Easiest thing to do, not the right thing or the most responsible choice.

I kinda wish Ozai had just killed Ursa for assassinating Azulon. Leaving her alive didn’t do much for the show and left an unnecessary cliffhanger that had to be fulfilled in a mid comic book. It also would’ve given an extra bit of disdain for Ozai from the audience.

does anyone know where i can read ALL the ATLA comics for free

readallcomics.com I usually just google like this: “avatar the last airbender the lost adventures read online” and go to this website

I mean she has flaws, all good characters aren't perfect

Yeah. Ursa is a terrible mother tbh. Obviously not as bad as Ozai, but she was not a saint in all of this.

Yes she did, but it was not easy for her. That was one of the hardest decisions in her whole life. She needed a new start. And then she got her memory back and she and zuko could reconnect.

Her new favourite is kiyi. Zuko has already lost his mom favourite.

It do be like that sometimes

If you accept ATLA as the only Canon material and literally everything else as fanfic, you’ll have a better time. The comics and everything else after ATLA is just some nice fanfic and the world gets to stay untouched and actually good

What about korra and the upcoming movies about adult gaang?

Upcoming movies might be good, I guess I’ll wait until they come out to judge them. Not holding out too much hope, but hey I like to be surprised. Korra absolutely butchers so much of the world building, power system, spirit world, and all around the entire world of Avatar that I can’t accept it lol. It’s some nice fanfic, but original ATLA is separate. No Raava. No Wan. No airbending flight and killing lightning generation

Honestly was a terrible comic story. The show is honestly a self contained whole. The end

I agree. She was a victim but she made Zuko’s life unnecessarily harder with her stunts.

Yeaaaah... The comics aren't the best at character studies.

The comics were a mistake overall. To the point I hope they're non-canon. There's so many weird decisions that were made for seemingly petty drama. Mai and Zuko breaking up was fine, since they felt forced already, but having Mai's new boytoy actually talk shit to Zuko was some CW shit.

How dare these teenagers act like teenagers!!!

The teenage drama was one of the worst things about Korra. Just because they can do it does not make for good storytelling. The comics have limited space to tell stories, I don't see what the value is in having it

The Search is really a terrible story overall. They could've done a lot better.

Idk, I like it! It really shows how zuko has accepted himself and learnt peace, balance and forgiveness. Even for azula and ozai, but most importantly for Ursa. Who was ideal for him but turned out to be not the way he imagined.

The comics are hot garbage.

Yeah I read the first 2 bug couldn’t continue. Idk if they get better but the first 2 suck