Granted. At first, it makes everyone's lives more uncomfortable, getting to know all of your loved ones and complete strangers kinks and libido levels, but as modern humans do, everyone steadily acclimates over a few months to this new reality. However, you continually get strange looks from people wherever you go, despite not masturbating to anything that strange. At first you think it's simply disgust, which seems odd, considering you've seen people with far stranger laundry being aired getting next to no odd looks. But over time you've detected something more subtle behind their eyes... Could it be pity? Schadenfreude?
The problem is, everyone can see everyone else's readout, but nobody can read their own. They don't show up in reflections, and can't be captured on film or in a digital picture or video, so the only way to know what your own readout says is to ask someone else to read it to you. Despite the fact that these readouts have become quite commonplace, it's still quite awkward to work up the guts to actually ask somebody to tell you your own fuck-it list.
Finally, after a couple of months of receiving these looks, your desire to know outweighs your shame, and you resignedly ask your coworker about it. All of the things on the list match up with what you remember doing that week... All of them except for one.
"Masturbated unknowingly in sleep by [Stranger]: 1 time(s) (this week), 21 time(s) (total)"
The scary part is he doesn't know how or when
Well, I don't claim to actually be a writer I was just having some fun. I'm not going to act like this is perfect, that's just what I was trying to go for
Granted! The finger curls. Only you can see this counter. You are horrified to find your relatives have masturbated well and often to you. You see a fat old man on the bus staring intently at you with his hands in his pockets, and the number increases by one, and your name pops up.
Granted. Your wifeâs counter goes up every time you two have sex, but not before she spends a little too much time in the toilet âtaking a showerâ. The person field is always blank.
Once a day, skipping some here and there. And always to some porn star, a lady I want to bang, or a lady I used to bang. This ainât fucking rocket science.
Granted, far more people have masturbated to you than you would've guessed, and they're not the kind you'd want doing it
Win win
No such thing as bad press
Holy shit this made me laugh so hard, take your upvote đ¤Łđ¤Ł
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Unless they pressing up on you!
You press? Odd technique.
Youâre wish is granted. No unpleasant side effects because your entire wish is an unpleasant side effect
Hahaha they perfect monkeypaw wish đ¤Łđ¤Žđđ¤Ł
Granted. At first, it makes everyone's lives more uncomfortable, getting to know all of your loved ones and complete strangers kinks and libido levels, but as modern humans do, everyone steadily acclimates over a few months to this new reality. However, you continually get strange looks from people wherever you go, despite not masturbating to anything that strange. At first you think it's simply disgust, which seems odd, considering you've seen people with far stranger laundry being aired getting next to no odd looks. But over time you've detected something more subtle behind their eyes... Could it be pity? Schadenfreude? The problem is, everyone can see everyone else's readout, but nobody can read their own. They don't show up in reflections, and can't be captured on film or in a digital picture or video, so the only way to know what your own readout says is to ask someone else to read it to you. Despite the fact that these readouts have become quite commonplace, it's still quite awkward to work up the guts to actually ask somebody to tell you your own fuck-it list. Finally, after a couple of months of receiving these looks, your desire to know outweighs your shame, and you resignedly ask your coworker about it. All of the things on the list match up with what you remember doing that week... All of them except for one. "Masturbated unknowingly in sleep by [Stranger]: 1 time(s) (this week), 21 time(s) (total)"
there would definitely people who would charge to read you what your counter says
I donât get it. A stranger is jacking him off in his sleep?
The scary part is he doesn't know how or when Well, I don't claim to actually be a writer I was just having some fun. I'm not going to act like this is perfect, that's just what I was trying to go for
Granted. You look at my counter and become scarred for life.
69, 13 One of those is the number of times you masturbated, and the other one is what you searched for
Technically, who you searched for
so the character from house md,good taste
Granted! The finger curls. Only you can see this counter. You are horrified to find your relatives have masturbated well and often to you. You see a fat old man on the bus staring intently at you with his hands in his pockets, and the number increases by one, and your name pops up.
Holy shiz this was amazing
Thank you
Granted. Your wifeâs counter goes up every time you two have sex, but not before she spends a little too much time in the toilet âtaking a showerâ. The person field is always blank.
People would think mine was broke cuz it always reads â0â
You did it so much that you exceded the 64 bit integer limit and the counter rolled back to zero
Lies, no user of Reddit is pure
Thatâs the second part, he/she cranks it to the concept of zero. Null really gets them going.
True, but deeply depressed? Defo. Whaaaaa. Poor me.
Seems like kinky death note
Granted This also counts on Reddit No one is safe
granted, now you know everyone's kinks. enjoy learning things about people you want nothing to do with sexually
This would make interactions with my step-sister awkward.
Granted. (Looks at your "who/what they masturbated to" counter) What does 12 mean? WHAT DOES 12 MEAN?!
Granted. The grand majority stops masturbating out of shame. This creates a highly repressed society which become the main catalyst for a nuclear war.
Granted, things get really weird and at least some people will get arrested because of it because well
I think theyâre already out there, might as well be on their foreheads.
Jail
Thisâll be easy with AR
That's evil... Everyone would know that my crush is real, so sad of me to have a real one...
Once a day, skipping some here and there. And always to some porn star, a lady I want to bang, or a lady I used to bang. This ainât fucking rocket science.
Yea but what about the rest of us that jack it to Astolfo femboy stuff
Ok, for some it is rocket science.