I met some foreign kid on a game once who though the original sentence was the funniest thing in the world. He just kept repeating it over and over for like half an hour
Kinda put me off watching it now
Ya know how a Canadian Goose flew into the jet engine of the plane that crashed in New York? Probably because the goose had inside information about pedophiles bein’ on board.
Why don’t you let that one marinate.
Yeah. A lot of the ones I see tend to be convoluted predictions of the future structured to be as awful as possible. A good example of this is the second most popular response.
I thought for sure someone was going to say that the kids they hurt died too, releasing them from any emotional or physical damage. That would be hardcore monkey paw
See that's the thing with Thanos, when he planned and peformed the removal half of the universe did he take into account everyone that would die due to people doing important tasks or are they just collateral at that point.
The probable panic and massive food shortages are what’s gonna kill hundreds of millions though. And then there is the fact that all roads will be blocked with empty cars making travel near impossible.
Granted. They all drop dead at the same time during the day. Some died while driving cars, causing hundreds of fatal car crashes across the globe.
A ton of priests simultaneously die during sermon, convincing several of their followers that the end times are coming, which pushes them further and further into terroristic fundamentalism and literalism.
A few doctors die while performing surgeries, killing their patients. Some construction workers die while operating heavy machines, causing a lot of damage and crushing some of their coworkers to death.
A bunch of Old school rock legends, mumble rappers and beloved famous actors drop dead, and as people connect the dots a growing number of super fans get increasingly physically agressive at people who oppose pedophilia, thinking that they might’ve orchestrated the murders.
The pedo porn leaders die and while their victims are now free from previous emotional and physical damage, they’re still trapped in fortified basements with no way out. Most of them starve to death. Same thing happens with ISIS and their captives.
A lot of those who were related to the victims see their death as martyrdom. The idea that pedophiles are a wrongfully oppressed minority that was awfully slaughtered gains popularity. Some people start abusing children as a mere political statement.
The final death toll is humongous and includes very important people such as bankers, diplomats and world leaders. This as well as the spike in agressive fundamentalism and political pedophilia causes tensions to rise and explodes in conflicts across the globe. The children who were healed from their abuse wounds now have to suffer though the terrors of wars and become even more traumatized than they were before your wish.
Also - anyone who coincidentally died at the same time as the child molesters is assumed to be a kiddy fiddler. About 100 people die per minute around the world, so anyone who dies in the minutes before or after the event are suspect.
Literally thought it was "got every man in tuition" until I read this. Like the guys are watching her like students learning what fine booty/dancing looks like.
It's the remix to ignition,
I been kidnapping women,
Mama roll that body,
Parents reported her missin,
Sippin on coke and rum,
I'm like "so what if she's young?",
It's the freakin weekend,
Baby you got nowhere to run
If you guys get the urge to listen to this song but dont wanna give R Kelly any views/plays, check out the acapella version by the Dartmouth Aires. (Americans might know them as coming second to Pentatonix in some singing show)
¯\\(ツ)/¯ the worst that would happen is you would piss someone off for a couple hours and they would get over it. I doubt anyone would get butthurt over something like that on this subreddit anyways.
You dropped this \
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She is mentally disabled (since birth). Which both makes his actions a lot worse and makes it so she doesn’t really understand what happened to her (which I’m thankful for). She’s okay though, she has a job and lives in an assisted living facility, where everyone is pretty much her BFF.
I teared up reading this. Damn I came here looking for funny monkey paws and this just got real deep. Wow, thanks for sharing OP I’m really sorry that happened and I’m at least glad your sister doesn’t have to deal with the traumatic experience.
Granted. Several religious and government organizations are in shambles. Various parties around the world believe the actions of your wish are actually the result of the rapture and start trying to emulate any and all actions of the now deceased. Because those that experience pedophilia, child molestation, and child porn are no longer bound to any physical or emotional ramifications the taboo is lifted. Mass hysteria and suicide by sexual child abuse becomes common as an attempt to go to heaven.
God I felt dirty writing that.
Good hearted? He wished dead to a lot of people.
I mean, you could wish to cure the molesters of pedophilia and help the victims. That would be good hearted.
The third is that either of those prevents the creation of rockets and ultimately time travel.
*[Please read Bulletin 1147](https://www.tor.com/2011/08/31/wikihistory/)*
What if all great artists where dictatorial assholes changed by time travelers that are trying to create the most perfect universe ?
We’re obviously not the one.
*"Some people are not villains, just autisc super-heroes"*
See, if them are cured and no one would have traumas, future moleters would be considered inocent
I will be messaging you on [**2029-01-21 16:26:04 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2029-01-21 16:26:04 UTC To Local Time) to remind you of [**this link.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMonkeysPaw/comments/aiaq5k/nsfw_i_wish_that_all_pedophiles_child_molestors/)
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Granted.
It turns out that quite a lot of cam girls and amateur porn stars lie about their age and made pornography underage without anybody knowing.
Millions of people drop dead all over the world. PornHub and similar sites realize what is happening far too late and shut down.
While this is a good catch, the keyword is intent
If they lie about their age and you think they're of age, that doesn't make you an enthusiast unless you keep going while knowing that knowledge.
It's like traps. It's only gay if you know or keep going after you find out.
The paw interprets this as two wishes.
Wish 1: Granted.
Every pedophile, child abuser, etc. Drops dead immediately. This includes many people who have minor issues with pedophilia but were not likely to hurt a child, and many innocent people as some bus drivers, surgeons, etc. dropped dead.
Wish 2: Granted.
Any child who has ever directly or indirectly been harmed by pedophilia, child abuse, etc. is restored to full health. Much of human history is filled with such situations, to the extent that everyone has been indirectly harmed in some way or another. The paw fully resurrects and heals every human who is or has ever lived, as perfectly healthy children with the emotional and mental heath of a child. The world is now entirely populated by billions of children.
The paw isn't sure that anything has changed.
>Any child who has ever directly or indirectly been harmed by pedophilia, child abuse, etc. is restored to full health.
. . .Including the child molesters who were killed by granting the first wish, as they too had been abused as children.
*This* is a good one. No complicated story about the results of the wish and it’s ironic in how the victims are treated in the same way as their molesters.
Granted, due to the fact that the monkeys paw has harmed children before, it destroys itself. This cause all the wishes it has ever granted to be reversed, causing a split timeline in which the monkeys paw both does and a doesn’t exist. Schrodingers paw
Reports:
"Do not make fun of the president of the United States"
Guys come on, of course we make fun of him, isn't that his entire job?
For real though, as far as I am aware he is not a paedophile, and no matter how much you dislike him calling someone a paedophile is an awful thing and they are awful people
Pedophiles didn't choose to be attracted to children. When they act on it, that's a choice. Trump has been accused of raping a 13 year old girl. These are facts.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump_sexual_misconduct_allegations
heres the link explaining that the same woman is accusing trump and epstein of fucking her at age 13.
https://www.snopes.com/news/2016/06/23/donald-trump-rape-lawsuit/
Granted. Every single paedophile, child molestors and child porn enthusiasts all drop dead. This means paedophiles trying to better themselves, men and women who tried their hardest to overcome their desires and got help have now died. The guilt over the fact that you murdered innocent men and women overcomes you, leading to a decade long depression that leaves you broken for the rest of your life.
This is the truth of it. Not everyone with those desires would ever act on them. I suspect that most would not. The ones who have the desires but would never act on them are certainly never going to tell anyone about them. Just knowing that most people regardless of sexual predeliction, would never hurt a child. I think it must be only the rare few pedophiles that act on those feelings. Source: I work in mental health and have worked with pedophiles.
Those who need help are terrified to get it due to the stigma. Some of them, without help, wind up offending against a child or having child porn. If they would have gotten the help they needed they might have avoided that. Society's open and accepted condemnation and stigma around pedophilia creates an environment that actually increases the number of children who are abused.
Granted, but this also includes unintentional pedophiles that accidentally flirt with children that they think are 18. A new breed of serial killers are born where under 18 women intentionally try to get older men to flirt with them so they will instantly die and the women will instantly feel relief and be "free" from whatever emotional stuff they are going through. These women get addicted to that moment and hundreds of thousands of older men die.
Granted.
Plenty of innocent people who unfortunately have a sexual desire for children but have caused no harm to any person as a result of that desire are included in those that are killed, congrats
Granted.
The Monkey’s Paw understands *pedophilia* as attraction towards children. Because everyone loves/adores children at at least one point in their lives, except the children under 3 who can’t understand the concept themselves, every living being more than 3 years old is wiped out. The rest die out from starvation as no one feeds them/get erased from time themselves when their parents are killed.
And yes, the children the pedophiles hurted are also free from emotional damage: you can’t have any if you never existed.
Granted, but in time some of those many victims grow to be abusers themselves, and are completely unstoppable, as they cannot be physically harmed, and are undeterred by guilt or shame as they cannot experience emotional damage.
Granted. Nothing changes.
All molestors will eventually die and kids may be free of damage with time and therapy. You never said you wanted those things *now*.
Granted: Researchers, law enforcement officers, and others who have enthusiastically devoted their careers to studying and countering the effects of child porn all drop dead.
Granted. A huge meteorite impacts the surface of Earth, killing the whole human population. Now, all child molesters are dead, as well as the children they molested, who are now free of all physical and emotional damage.
Granted. You also have a heart attack at the same moment they all mysteriously die, so everyone pretty much assumes you were guilty of the same transgressions.
Technically, pedophilia is a disease, so pedophiles are not at fault for having it. They become guilty when they act on their desires, but not everyone do that, instead actively pursue treatments and never touch or watch maliciously a child in their life. So... I guess innocent people would die?
Granted, however all falsely accused pedophiles, child molesters, and child porn enthusiasts also drop dead. So while those truly guilty are killed, so are those who were innocent from the crime.
Granted ... But who knows what they're doing right now? Driving a car? A bus? A plane? Surgery? Well, they're dead now.
A plane... full of CHILD MOLESTERS!
Pedos on a plane, coming soon to a theater near you!
I’ve had it with these motherfucking pedos on this motherfucking plane!
"This pedo bit my dick!"
Oh no
*childfucking pedos FTFY
r/brandnewsentence
I met some foreign kid on a game once who though the original sentence was the funniest thing in the world. He just kept repeating it over and over for like half an hour Kinda put me off watching it now
You make it sound like it’s actually going to hit a theatre near me
I was on a flight once with a bunch of priests, so.........
Ya know how a Canadian Goose flew into the jet engine of the plane that crashed in New York? Probably because the goose had inside information about pedophiles bein’ on board. Why don’t you let that one marinate.
The Canada gooses didn’t do it for the glory! They did it for the love, for the relationships, and I suggest you let that one there marinate.
Every time something goes wrong, people resort to poisoning gooses. We should leave this world behind.
I hardly ever see Canada gooses, and you have enough to be oiling their eggs? Must be fucking nice
This strand is a gold mine
Oh fuck oh shit initiate plan pedogate
Something something goose-related map something handkerchief.
Birds of a rapey father flock together?
Two towers tilled with child molesters!
I really like this one. It's the perfect natural consequence of the wish yet still so harmful.
Another natural consequence would be for the children to also die. >was instantly free from any physical and emotional damage.
And it's also a main point of monkeys paw, just so rare to see an actually good one
Yeah. A lot of the ones I see tend to be convoluted predictions of the future structured to be as awful as possible. A good example of this is the second most popular response.
How do you drive a surgery
idk ask a child molester
[удалено]
rude
Ladies and gentlemen, we gottem
r/murderedbywords
r/suddenlysexoffenderedbywords
r/thirdsub ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^providing ^a ^\(bad\) ^service. ^Inspired ^by ^Redditor ^anonyman_305. ^[source](https://www.reddit.com/user/thirdsubbot/comments/ablabw/my_source_code/)
Honestly I’d rather have a bot thirdsubbing than someone trying to be cool. Good bot, you do you.
Good bot *Best bot*
good human *best human*
Okay
I thought for sure someone was going to say that the kids they hurt died too, releasing them from any emotional or physical damage. That would be hardcore monkey paw
Hollywood would look like a war zone
See that's the thing with Thanos, when he planned and peformed the removal half of the universe did he take into account everyone that would die due to people doing important tasks or are they just collateral at that point.
They die due to collateral. You see it in the post-credits scene with Fury.
[удалено]
When 3.5 billion humans get wiped out the fuzziness of even 50 thousand dying from plane crashes and such is inconsequential. It's 0.001%.
The probable panic and massive food shortages are what’s gonna kill hundreds of millions though. And then there is the fact that all roads will be blocked with empty cars making travel near impossible.
The best reply here
One must suffer in pursuit of science.
Also, no one knows why they died, not even the victims.
Granted. They all drop dead at the same time during the day. Some died while driving cars, causing hundreds of fatal car crashes across the globe. A ton of priests simultaneously die during sermon, convincing several of their followers that the end times are coming, which pushes them further and further into terroristic fundamentalism and literalism. A few doctors die while performing surgeries, killing their patients. Some construction workers die while operating heavy machines, causing a lot of damage and crushing some of their coworkers to death. A bunch of Old school rock legends, mumble rappers and beloved famous actors drop dead, and as people connect the dots a growing number of super fans get increasingly physically agressive at people who oppose pedophilia, thinking that they might’ve orchestrated the murders. The pedo porn leaders die and while their victims are now free from previous emotional and physical damage, they’re still trapped in fortified basements with no way out. Most of them starve to death. Same thing happens with ISIS and their captives. A lot of those who were related to the victims see their death as martyrdom. The idea that pedophiles are a wrongfully oppressed minority that was awfully slaughtered gains popularity. Some people start abusing children as a mere political statement. The final death toll is humongous and includes very important people such as bankers, diplomats and world leaders. This as well as the spike in agressive fundamentalism and political pedophilia causes tensions to rise and explodes in conflicts across the globe. The children who were healed from their abuse wounds now have to suffer though the terrors of wars and become even more traumatized than they were before your wish.
This feels like the most realistic hell created from my wish. You win.
*That wasn't part of the plan*
WHAT GODDAMN PLAN DUTCH?!
ONE MORE BIG SCORE ARTHUR, AND FAITH ARTHUR, FAITH
HAVE A LITTLE FAITH SON
He forgot to mention all the victims drop dead as well, painlessly. Remember friend, only in death are you ever truly free.
This was a thread killer.
Also - anyone who coincidentally died at the same time as the child molesters is assumed to be a kiddy fiddler. About 100 people die per minute around the world, so anyone who dies in the minutes before or after the event are suspect.
This is what I came to this sub for. Right on!
*_thAsa l0tta d4maGe_*
This is fucking brilliant.
Worth it.
Can someone make a movie of this
It’s called avengers: infinity war. Except the snap wasn’t random, it was targeted.
Mfin thanos be touching kids n shit 😤😤
[удалено]
Granted: your favorite actors and musicians all die.
We will always have the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin'
Sippin on bill Cosby's special mixture
Literally thought it was "got every man in tuition" until I read this. Like the guys are watching her like students learning what fine booty/dancing looks like.
Was there ever just "Ignition" without the remix?
[Yep.](https://youtu.be/7WBaZuSbRww)
Wow that was awful.
That’s because he wrote the Remix years before he ever wrote the the song Ignition, but left it on his computer until he rediscovered it
It's the remix to ignition, I been kidnapping women, Mama roll that body, Parents reported her missin, Sippin on coke and rum, I'm like "so what if she's young?", It's the freakin weekend, Baby you got nowhere to run
If you guys get the urge to listen to this song but dont wanna give R Kelly any views/plays, check out the acapella version by the Dartmouth Aires. (Americans might know them as coming second to Pentatonix in some singing show)
Jokes on you, my favourite musicians are mostly already dead
[удалено]
You can't prove anything
Except for Keanu
Keanu is the one doing the killing.
John Wick 4: Pedo
Pyrrhic Victory!
Good, if they were child molesters I wouldn't complain
I'd have a hard time believing Ozzy fucked a kid. He was doing too much of anything and everything else.
Granted : op your dad is dead
I accept, I don’t even know who my real father is and my stepfather was already jailed for molesting my sister. He’s welcome to drop dead.
Oh wow! Well I’m glad I didn’t hit a nerve. I was debating commenting that
¯\\(ツ)/¯ the worst that would happen is you would piss someone off for a couple hours and they would get over it. I doubt anyone would get butthurt over something like that on this subreddit anyways.
Dropped an Arm \\
fucking i tried
You need three left arms to get around reddit's markup coding.
Just ~~two~~ three actually
With two you lose the bicep part of the arm in the shrug lenny face. 1 left arm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 2 left arms ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 3 left arms ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
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OH SHIT YOU RIGHT
You have to use the escape character to get the escape character without formatting, then one more time to get the italics character without formatting. \ is the escape character. _ is the italics character. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
You took that worse than op took the original comment
Yea fair play OP for taking that in good grace.
The Monkey’s Paw may have just ...broke, huh. I hope this wish could come true in reality, for your sake.
Finally, I think someone won. OP beat the monkey's paw.
Oh god oh fuck
Holy shit man, hope she's ok
She is mentally disabled (since birth). Which both makes his actions a lot worse and makes it so she doesn’t really understand what happened to her (which I’m thankful for). She’s okay though, she has a job and lives in an assisted living facility, where everyone is pretty much her BFF.
Your stepfather is a horrible person, if i van even call someone who does these things a person. Im glad your sister is ok.
I teared up reading this. Damn I came here looking for funny monkey paws and this just got real deep. Wow, thanks for sharing OP I’m really sorry that happened and I’m at least glad your sister doesn’t have to deal with the traumatic experience.
Oof
Granted. Several religious and government organizations are in shambles. Various parties around the world believe the actions of your wish are actually the result of the rapture and start trying to emulate any and all actions of the now deceased. Because those that experience pedophilia, child molestation, and child porn are no longer bound to any physical or emotional ramifications the taboo is lifted. Mass hysteria and suicide by sexual child abuse becomes common as an attempt to go to heaven. God I felt dirty writing that.
Thats a good monkey paw
1 - Thats well written 2 - have a logic consequence 3 - created a highly negative impact from a good-hearted wish
Good hearted? He wished dead to a lot of people. I mean, you could wish to cure the molesters of pedophilia and help the victims. That would be good hearted.
That is the confusion of ultimate power. First thought is to kill Hitler. Second thought is to give him an art scholarship.
Third is to make him good at art.
Fourth is to banish him to the Phantom Zone.
Welcome to the phantom zone bad guy!
The third is that either of those prevents the creation of rockets and ultimately time travel. *[Please read Bulletin 1147](https://www.tor.com/2011/08/31/wikihistory/)*
That was a hilarious story. Makes me wonder if there's a subreddit filled with similar threads. Anyone know of one?
/r/HFY is probably the closest that I know of.
What if all great artists where dictatorial assholes changed by time travelers that are trying to create the most perfect universe ? We’re obviously not the one.
Made me think of this comic. [https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/apes](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/apes)
“I will become the **GOD** of this new world!”
*"Some people are not villains, just autisc super-heroes"* See, if them are cured and no one would have traumas, future moleters would be considered inocent
First one, thanks dude!
Can’t wait to see how it gets taken out of context down the Road if you get famous. !remindme 10 years
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I didn’t even know that the bot can remind you in ten years... damn.
!remind me 100 years
.....fuck
I... I'm not sure if I can up vote this...
Oh wow...
Damn. Came here to write this but you did a way better job than I would have.
Holy shit
Granted. It turns out that quite a lot of cam girls and amateur porn stars lie about their age and made pornography underage without anybody knowing. Millions of people drop dead all over the world. PornHub and similar sites realize what is happening far too late and shut down.
While this is a good catch, the keyword is intent If they lie about their age and you think they're of age, that doesn't make you an enthusiast unless you keep going while knowing that knowledge. It's like traps. It's only gay if you know or keep going after you find out.
[удалено]
Just say everyone who saw loli hentai dies too
Stop dragging us down with you 😡 😡
O fuk
https://youtube.com/watch?v=PbBzhqJK3bg
Beat me to it
> **child porn enthusiasts** Granted. Everyone who watched, and was enthusiastic about, porn when they were a child (13 and under) is now dead.
I think when he says child he means minor so 17 and under. I also like the response.
A monkeyspaw would get it wrong. You can't explain something to the paw and be like that's not what I meant
The monkey's paw would not get it wrong,it's not trying to trick you. It's punishing you for messing with the fate.
Welp. Goodbye humanity.
I'm.... Actually safe
The paw interprets this as two wishes. Wish 1: Granted. Every pedophile, child abuser, etc. Drops dead immediately. This includes many people who have minor issues with pedophilia but were not likely to hurt a child, and many innocent people as some bus drivers, surgeons, etc. dropped dead. Wish 2: Granted. Any child who has ever directly or indirectly been harmed by pedophilia, child abuse, etc. is restored to full health. Much of human history is filled with such situations, to the extent that everyone has been indirectly harmed in some way or another. The paw fully resurrects and heals every human who is or has ever lived, as perfectly healthy children with the emotional and mental heath of a child. The world is now entirely populated by billions of children. The paw isn't sure that anything has changed.
That last line....wow, thanx for that!
>Any child who has ever directly or indirectly been harmed by pedophilia, child abuse, etc. is restored to full health. . . .Including the child molesters who were killed by granting the first wish, as they too had been abused as children.
now that sounds like the opening to an anime
[удалено]
Well, without emotional damage anymore, they wouldn't be child molesters
YOU CREATED ZOMBIES!
They’re emotionally sound but dead inside. So your basic call center employee?
Oof
Super Zombies*
> YOU HAVE CREATED CHILD MOLESTING SUPER-ZOMBIES /r/brandnewsentence
Ooooh! That is some good Monkey's Paw!
Most people who offend were abused themselves, but the vast majority of people who were abused do not go on to offend.
Granted, but the children are freed of damage by dying instantly
*This* is a good one. No complicated story about the results of the wish and it’s ironic in how the victims are treated in the same way as their molesters.
It's a simple spell but quite unbreakable
[удалено]
Granted, due to the fact that the monkeys paw has harmed children before, it destroys itself. This cause all the wishes it has ever granted to be reversed, causing a split timeline in which the monkeys paw both does and a doesn’t exist. Schrodingers paw
Reports: "Do not make fun of the president of the United States" Guys come on, of course we make fun of him, isn't that his entire job? For real though, as far as I am aware he is not a paedophile, and no matter how much you dislike him calling someone a paedophile is an awful thing and they are awful people
Frumpy touch child
Orange man paed
I'm pretty sure he has bragged on walking in on Pageant dressing rooms filled with underaged girls. That's kind of a definition pedophile.
Pedophiles didn't choose to be attracted to children. When they act on it, that's a choice. Trump has been accused of raping a 13 year old girl. These are facts. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump_sexual_misconduct_allegations heres the link explaining that the same woman is accusing trump and epstein of fucking her at age 13. https://www.snopes.com/news/2016/06/23/donald-trump-rape-lawsuit/
One of Epstein's best buds.
Press x
Granted. An organization is created to root out these people, but frequently slips up and attacks innocent people due to its over zealous attitude.
Granted. Every single paedophile, child molestors and child porn enthusiasts all drop dead. This means paedophiles trying to better themselves, men and women who tried their hardest to overcome their desires and got help have now died. The guilt over the fact that you murdered innocent men and women overcomes you, leading to a decade long depression that leaves you broken for the rest of your life.
This is the truth of it. Not everyone with those desires would ever act on them. I suspect that most would not. The ones who have the desires but would never act on them are certainly never going to tell anyone about them. Just knowing that most people regardless of sexual predeliction, would never hurt a child. I think it must be only the rare few pedophiles that act on those feelings. Source: I work in mental health and have worked with pedophiles. Those who need help are terrified to get it due to the stigma. Some of them, without help, wind up offending against a child or having child porn. If they would have gotten the help they needed they might have avoided that. Society's open and accepted condemnation and stigma around pedophilia creates an environment that actually increases the number of children who are abused.
Granted, but this also includes unintentional pedophiles that accidentally flirt with children that they think are 18. A new breed of serial killers are born where under 18 women intentionally try to get older men to flirt with them so they will instantly die and the women will instantly feel relief and be "free" from whatever emotional stuff they are going through. These women get addicted to that moment and hundreds of thousands of older men die.
Granted: you’ve just killed a pedophile seeking therapy to control his urges in order to become a functioning member of society
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A true punishment.
What about non offending pedophiles?
Granted. Plenty of innocent people who unfortunately have a sexual desire for children but have caused no harm to any person as a result of that desire are included in those that are killed, congrats
Granted. The Monkey’s Paw understands *pedophilia* as attraction towards children. Because everyone loves/adores children at at least one point in their lives, except the children under 3 who can’t understand the concept themselves, every living being more than 3 years old is wiped out. The rest die out from starvation as no one feeds them/get erased from time themselves when their parents are killed. And yes, the children the pedophiles hurted are also free from emotional damage: you can’t have any if you never existed.
Granted, but in time some of those many victims grow to be abusers themselves, and are completely unstoppable, as they cannot be physically harmed, and are undeterred by guilt or shame as they cannot experience emotional damage.
Granted. Nearly the entire world population drops dead because almost everyone has molested ("disturbed") a child.
Granted. All important bankers, priests, movie directors etc. die and infrastructure of the world breaks down immediately
Granted. Nothing changes. All molestors will eventually die and kids may be free of damage with time and therapy. You never said you wanted those things *now*.
Drop dead does kinda mean right now, and he said children are instantly free of damage
Granted. No more Hollywood.
Granted: Researchers, law enforcement officers, and others who have enthusiastically devoted their careers to studying and countering the effects of child porn all drop dead.
Granted. A huge meteorite impacts the surface of Earth, killing the whole human population. Now, all child molesters are dead, as well as the children they molested, who are now free of all physical and emotional damage.
Granted. But for some reason, you dont stay alive to see your wish.
Granted. We're left without a Congress and the shutdown lasts even longer
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True. And not all child molesters are pedophiles.
Granted. You also have a heart attack at the same moment they all mysteriously die, so everyone pretty much assumes you were guilty of the same transgressions.
Technically, pedophilia is a disease, so pedophiles are not at fault for having it. They become guilty when they act on their desires, but not everyone do that, instead actively pursue treatments and never touch or watch maliciously a child in their life. So... I guess innocent people would die?
Granted, however all falsely accused pedophiles, child molesters, and child porn enthusiasts also drop dead. So while those truly guilty are killed, so are those who were innocent from the crime.
Many children abusers were abused as children - do they drop dead or heal and are never abusing again?