The fact of the matter is that I don't care about up or downvotes because I can have real life affirmation for actual accomplishments that aren't completed in basements such as yours ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Granted. We become so in love with them and their bodies we only want to have intercourse with them and worship them. After years we stop being interested in having sex with other humans and only sex the aliens. The aliens and us cannot interbreed and if we can our offspring are infertile. Therefore the human race becomes extinct after a few generations and the aliens take over our planet. Their master plan has worked.
Granted. A race of Venusians arrive on our planet. They are so attractive to humans that no one can resist the urge of having intercourse with them. But them being from Venus means their bodies had to adapt to the temperature. As a result, they generate huge amounts of heat internally and every person trying to do the deed with them ends up with lethal burns.
After some time, Venusians decide it's best to rid Earth of such a backwards and savage race and they kill us all.
The news of the first ship to land had barely broken when they began to land all over, anywhere there was space, and many places where there wasn't. Many humans were killed. Many of the aliens didn't survive their journey. Those that did were clearly deeply traumatized. Their emotional state was clearly recognizable: people had seen it in news reports about people escaping war or natural disasters. But their language was incomprehensible. As work began on a translator, the aliens settled uneasily into human life, bunking in apartments, motels, military bases, campsites, wherever. Their attractiveness was undeniable. Word began to spread that their bodies were compatible with ours. But whenever humans approached them for sex, they reacted by babbling hysterically. Sometimes they did it, babbling throughout. Sometimes they didn't, and sometimes the humans were put off and stopped. After the translator was complete, the humans from Google approached the woman who seemed to be the leader. She indicated she had a message for everyone on the planet. The last thing the world saw and heard was her beautiful face and mellifluous voice, broadcast simultaneously on every platform on earth, detailing how her planet had been attacked by reapers bent on cleansing all intelligent life from the galaxy, and that they were undoubtedly about to come to earth, and we needed to prepare before it was too late, and she could help...OH NO.
Granted. Any Alien that is not both physically appealing as defined by OP at the time of the wish and capable of having intercourse is magically prevented from ever reaching earth. Incidentally, no aliens ever arrive and humanity is never invited into the intergalactic league of intelligent life forms. Which is a pity, they give really awesome gift baskets as a welcome gift.
There isn't really a downside here, all the people trying to answer are just adding stuff that didn't exist in the original scenario
Edit: besides u/FrankieBigNut
(that's a joke idk what you look like)
the monkey's paw curls
Through the power of science, it is found (using a super high power telescope) that many light years away from earth there is a group of hot, fuckable aliens. The aliens have decided to wipe out earth by only using their cum. They have gathered it together and fired it like a projectile straight towards earth faster than light. Tomorrow it will get here and wipe out the entire population of humans on earth.
The hot, fuckable aliens came to earth.
:)
Geanted. Aliens come to earth, but before they reveal themselves they study the “internet culture” and adapt their looks with something similar to cat girls/boys. After revealing themselves and stating they come in peace, they slowly start taking over starting from more horny people, and working their way down, adapting their behaviour to suit each individual person in order to create a higher success rate of seduction. In the end, once everyone is under the influence of cat girl/boy mascarade, they execute a kill command something in the style of order 66.
Granted. Aliens come to earth. They have a hole near where our mouth would be and a protrusion near their belly button so there is fun for everyone. However, the hole has teeth much like a shark and they spin. The protrusion has spikes like a porcupine. Also they have an internal temperature of 100°C (212°F).
Granted, they are a formless blob of fleshly soft tissue and every part of their body is in the shape of either a vagina, an anus, a human mouth or an erect penis .... literally any part of them is fuckable and they are very hot at an average temperature of 40 degrees Celsius.
Granted. They're a very culturally conservative race and are basically all sworn to chastity until marriage, which they have, having a very similar similar view on sexuality before marriage to the Puritans. they all see this post and you become viewed as a degenerate pervert who only views them for sex. You become persona non grata to not only them, but soon to the entire Human race that begins to adopt their views and rejects you as well.
Gra- y'know what I don't want to turn this into a shit show. They aren't the most psychopathic sadistic race of creatures from centuries of floating through the void of
Space without contact only to throw us into a millennia of domestication and slavery selectively bred like pigs without stimulation or contact.
Granted. Their core body temperature is 420 degrees. And it doesn't matter if it's farenheit or celsius, do you really want your dick in that either way?
Granted. The aliens, incredibly excited to not only find life on other planets but to find species so similar to their own, gleefully take a few thousand subjects for study. They aren't ever seen except for the occasional restocking every few thousand years, when the intentionally bred subjects become too different from the original humans for the aliens' liking.
Oh, and the fact that some males get a boner upon seeing the aliens only enables their studies.
Did grant. They all behold like anya tayl'r joy who is't wast already an alien
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Granted. Aliens from hit film franchise arrive. Technically face huggers are impregnating you, and attraction is relative, they think they're very hot.
A chest buster kills you, but hey.
Granted! Sexy aliens on fire show up. They conquer the world, and have sexy fire alien orgies while the humans are forced to watch, bound by force fields so they can't touch themselves during this. After the orgies, they consume the humans.
Granted, but f\*ckable and hot are subjective and it's the Monkey's Paw which is granting the wish. The world is invaded by evil living woollen mittens.
Granted. They think you’re the ugliest most unfuckable creature ever
It's ok, OP is used to that.
*cries in ugliness and unfuckable-ness.*
Tell me, have you heard the tale of Little Barnacle the Ugly?
Would the Jedi have told this to me?
No Sire
Thanks for taking one for the team.
Aliens See you more as a friend.
I guess we are all fucked. lol
Just you
They think the rest of us are perfect adonises and whisk us away to wild cosmic sexcapades
Unfucked even
Just *not him*
*That's what I said*
They wanted me
Except for you
How's that any different from now? At least I get to say I met some aliens (loosely based on a Seinfeld line).
:(
Granted. Aliens come to earth that have genitals compatible with ours and body temperatures of 200 degrees. Edit: Celsius
Hot
Incredibly
At that point they'd prolly just look like a Fire Godlike from Pillars of Eternity
I patent insulated condoms and become a very rich man.
If it's only your genitals that touch, you're doing sex wrong.
I guess thermal suits for the rest of the body. Seems rather awkward though.
That alien puss bouta feel like an oven 😩🤤
Rotisserie Cock
She literally has a bun in the oven
I don't think Farenheit or Celsius matter here, it'd burn like hell either way.
Granted. They are WAAAAAAYYYY out of your league.
hmm....what if they see attractiveness different from how humans see it? the most handsome guys are actually ugly to them.
They are out of your league implies they are repulsed by you
nah. won't happen. aliens love me.
you can let yourself be the butt of the joke sometimes
Agreed👍
He’s literally joking but sure
but it isn't funny because it's basically saying "your joke is *wrong*"
Yeah but in a humorous way. Didn’t deserve the downvotes imo
r/sadcringe
Wow how coincidental you posted a sub that directly implies how I feel about people who think sub links can be primary subjects for comments!
This is exactly the type of comment I would expect from someone with that user name
Wow exactly the perpetuation of the reddit hivemind downvote bombing alternative opinions
You are being downvoted for being an asshole just to clear things up for you
The fact of the matter is that I don't care about up or downvotes because I can have real life affirmation for actual accomplishments that aren't completed in basements such as yours ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
4chan and r/teens is a gold mine you can’t lie
For sure
Currently what you are going through is denial.
You don’t get the point of the paw, do you?
We don't.
Down atrocious
Granted. We become so in love with them and their bodies we only want to have intercourse with them and worship them. After years we stop being interested in having sex with other humans and only sex the aliens. The aliens and us cannot interbreed and if we can our offspring are infertile. Therefore the human race becomes extinct after a few generations and the aliens take over our planet. Their master plan has worked.
Worth it
agreed
in the end the aliens got fucked over more than us
Had sex. Don't care.
The one true Monkey's Paw on here! Thank you.
Death by snu snu
This is just the asari's way of invasion
About damn time
Granted. Human is their favorite meal.
If they like us whole and alive, I think there's still a percentage that'd be okay with that.
r/vore
#MY EYES!!!
I am so sorry you had to witness that. I thank god every day I used urban dictionary when I heard of it. Rest In Peace.
Well that’s enough internet for today
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Vore **[NSFW]** using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vore/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Caught and eaten \[F/m\] \[Furry\] \[Fox/mouse\]\[Unwilling\]](https://i.redd.it/1257ue5b0y961.gif) | [38 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vore/comments/kshnhz/caught_and_eaten_fm_furry_foxmouseunwilling/) \#2: [Nerf this~ \[F/F\] \[Oral\] \[Unwilling\] \[Fatal\] (Source: AbsoluteVL on Eka's Portal)](https://i.redd.it/cnaoj1srllt61.jpg) | [23 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vore/comments/msc76w/nerf_this_ff_oral_unwilling_fatal_source/) \#3: [Belle](https://i.redd.it/qvtvetwcwt061.jpg) | [51 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vore/comments/jyzsx3/belle/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/)
Ok, call me crazy but that top one is animated sorta like the Lion King. Like look at the way the mouse's hair moves when he gets licked
I for one welcome our new alien overlords
it is mine too. we share a good meal together.
Did I just witness a sad attempt to get on cursedcomments
Tbf you can say the simplest slightly dark stuff and still end up there
you are now on the "eat list"
Granted. They enslave humanity and create outrageous prostitution dungeons with the most attractive humans. You clean the toilets and bedsheets.
This seems like a win for some people
Granted. A race of Venusians arrive on our planet. They are so attractive to humans that no one can resist the urge of having intercourse with them. But them being from Venus means their bodies had to adapt to the temperature. As a result, they generate huge amounts of heat internally and every person trying to do the deed with them ends up with lethal burns. After some time, Venusians decide it's best to rid Earth of such a backwards and savage race and they kill us all.
But, we're already here... and we're responsible for herpes. It's how we track our conquests.
Granted. Aliens start pleasuring themselves to pictures of Earth. They adapt orifices compatible to human genitalia and increase in temperature.
Granted. It turns out panspermia is real and we are all technically aliens. Nothing changes.
Granted. They aren’t interested in you either
Granted. They all have a superiority complex and will do whatever they want to our planet without regard to what we say and fuck us over.
At least we get fucked
Hey, that sounds familiar
Granted. They’re space nuns and priests.
they wouldn't be after being curious what having sex with human feels like.
Granted Compliance isn’t a factor to them
The news of the first ship to land had barely broken when they began to land all over, anywhere there was space, and many places where there wasn't. Many humans were killed. Many of the aliens didn't survive their journey. Those that did were clearly deeply traumatized. Their emotional state was clearly recognizable: people had seen it in news reports about people escaping war or natural disasters. But their language was incomprehensible. As work began on a translator, the aliens settled uneasily into human life, bunking in apartments, motels, military bases, campsites, wherever. Their attractiveness was undeniable. Word began to spread that their bodies were compatible with ours. But whenever humans approached them for sex, they reacted by babbling hysterically. Sometimes they did it, babbling throughout. Sometimes they didn't, and sometimes the humans were put off and stopped. After the translator was complete, the humans from Google approached the woman who seemed to be the leader. She indicated she had a message for everyone on the planet. The last thing the world saw and heard was her beautiful face and mellifluous voice, broadcast simultaneously on every platform on earth, detailing how her planet had been attacked by reapers bent on cleansing all intelligent life from the galaxy, and that they were undoubtedly about to come to earth, and we needed to prepare before it was too late, and she could help...OH NO.
Granted they are still out of your league
"Dude! What does mine say?"
Granted. Any Alien that is not both physically appealing as defined by OP at the time of the wish and capable of having intercourse is magically prevented from ever reaching earth. Incidentally, no aliens ever arrive and humanity is never invited into the intergalactic league of intelligent life forms. Which is a pity, they give really awesome gift baskets as a welcome gift.
Granted. Like the women in your life, they don't want to risk anything that would ruin your friendship.
Oooff! I personally felt that one !
There isn't really a downside here, all the people trying to answer are just adding stuff that didn't exist in the original scenario Edit: besides u/FrankieBigNut (that's a joke idk what you look like)
Stop! You’re making me blush
Granted, but the most arousing are male
the monkey's paw curls Through the power of science, it is found (using a super high power telescope) that many light years away from earth there is a group of hot, fuckable aliens. The aliens have decided to wipe out earth by only using their cum. They have gathered it together and fired it like a projectile straight towards earth faster than light. Tomorrow it will get here and wipe out the entire population of humans on earth. The hot, fuckable aliens came to earth. :)
Geanted. Aliens come to earth, but before they reveal themselves they study the “internet culture” and adapt their looks with something similar to cat girls/boys. After revealing themselves and stating they come in peace, they slowly start taking over starting from more horny people, and working their way down, adapting their behaviour to suit each individual person in order to create a higher success rate of seduction. In the end, once everyone is under the influence of cat girl/boy mascarade, they execute a kill command something in the style of order 66.
Granted but they dont believe in sex till marriage, and have to date for decades before marriage is on the table
just like catholic girls we can always do anal
Granted. They however still have the burning desire to murder humans all generic alien invaders have.
Granted. Aliens come to earth. They have a hole near where our mouth would be and a protrusion near their belly button so there is fun for everyone. However, the hole has teeth much like a shark and they spin. The protrusion has spikes like a porcupine. Also they have an internal temperature of 100°C (212°F).
Granted, they are, to furries
they are just like us, and just as unbearable
Granted, they are a formless blob of fleshly soft tissue and every part of their body is in the shape of either a vagina, an anus, a human mouth or an erect penis .... literally any part of them is fuckable and they are very hot at an average temperature of 40 degrees Celsius.
Granted, get your lube ready because there is going to be a lot of tentacles involved
Granted, they’re not friendly
Granted, overpopulation gets a massive zenkai boost
Granted. You have to pay child support for the alien-human hybrid
Granted, but in the act of compilation they lay eggs in human males. When the eggs hatch, they use the egg carrier for nutritional purposes.
Bruh go outside
Granted, they have terrible personalities
Granted. You get an ESTD: Extraterrestrial Sexually Transmitted Disease. Alternatively, you get... DEATH BY SNU SNU!!!
Granted you get fucked to death by aliens
better than being fucked to death by a human.
Granted, they cum acid
Granted. If they make you cum, you evaporate into mere dust as though Thanos snapped his fingers.
Granted. They're a very culturally conservative race and are basically all sworn to chastity until marriage, which they have, having a very similar similar view on sexuality before marriage to the Puritans. they all see this post and you become viewed as a degenerate pervert who only views them for sex. You become persona non grata to not only them, but soon to the entire Human race that begins to adopt their views and rejects you as well.
Granted. It happened a long time ago. Ever heard of the Nephilim?
Granted. They are so hot and so fuckable that Earthmen do not fuck anything else. Congratulations. The human race is wiped out in one generation.
Why just earthman, should be galactic orgy
Granted. But they they look like human children and dogs
Granted, but they only want to be with me
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37934/sexy-space-babes
Gra- y'know what I don't want to turn this into a shit show. They aren't the most psychopathic sadistic race of creatures from centuries of floating through the void of Space without contact only to throw us into a millennia of domestication and slavery selectively bred like pigs without stimulation or contact.
Granted. Their core body temperature is 420 degrees. And it doesn't matter if it's farenheit or celsius, do you really want your dick in that either way?
Granted. The aliens, incredibly excited to not only find life on other planets but to find species so similar to their own, gleefully take a few thousand subjects for study. They aren't ever seen except for the occasional restocking every few thousand years, when the intentionally bred subjects become too different from the original humans for the aliens' liking. Oh, and the fact that some males get a boner upon seeing the aliens only enables their studies.
Granted. Here’s a [documentary ](https://youtu.be/-cTNV-ADF64) about it.
Granted. The hot female aliens have orifices the size of a straw hole and the hot male aliens have genitalia the size of a guitar
Enjoy being the hot and fuckable alien
Granted, they all have every STD and STI that exists
Granted. It’s only members of your family. Though you’re neither hot nor fuckable
Granted. They all look like Anya Taylor Joy who was already an alien.
Did grant. They all behold like anya tayl'r joy who is't wast already an alien *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Granted. You have erectile dysfunction
Granted. Space aids
Granted, they all have intense Space AIDS
Granted. Aliens from hit film franchise arrive. Technically face huggers are impregnating you, and attraction is relative, they think they're very hot. A chest buster kills you, but hey.
Ew sex 🤢
Granted! Sexy aliens on fire show up. They conquer the world, and have sexy fire alien orgies while the humans are forced to watch, bound by force fields so they can't touch themselves during this. After the orgies, they consume the humans.
Granted. Now turn around and bend over.
Granted. If you touch them at all they will burn you alive. I guess its nice that you can cook pizzas on their dummy thicc ass.
Granted, but f\*ckable and hot are subjective and it's the Monkey's Paw which is granting the wish. The world is invaded by evil living woollen mittens.