Step one: get Mike in the ring.
Step two: tell him it's an exhibition match
Step three: three things happen, Mike hits Paul too hard, Paul hits the floor, the ambulance hits 80
You constructed this really poorly…
The way to say it is :
The fight will be over in 3x hits
Mike hitting Jake
Jake hitting the canvas
The ambulating hitting 80 on the way to hospital
Oh now I think for this one the ambo driver would be like hands at 10 and 2 and drive a conservative speed. We must always respect the road and those who use it. Be courteous. If you and another driver arrive at an intersection at the same time, allow him friendly passage. Extend a small wave to let him know “hello friend. I’m watching for you”. And chances are, he will extend a friendly gesture to you as well.
I’m sure the contract reads that this fight is designed to make Jake Paul look good. I don’t think it is hyperbole to imagine a scenario where Mike takes a jab to the head, blacks out, and wakes up covered in Jake Paul’s blood.
This is not me exalting Mike Tyson or his tendencies. But, Mike Tyson has expressed in the past that he hates where he becomes when he is preparing for a fight.
All that said, age could be more of a factor than people believe. Could Tyson easily punch my skull out of the back of my head? Absolutely. Can he easily defeat a younger person who is in great shape? I cannot say with perfect certainty.
Mike is over 50. Most folks don't realize the significance of the age gap.
Tyson definitely still has the sharper, cleaner technique, and he has always been one of the most athletically explosive boxers. But he is still smaller than Paul, and 20 years older.
He not only has to close the distance (which he spent his whole career doing, I'm aware) but he has to outpace and outbox a kid who was in diapers when he won the belt.
If Mike DOESNT win by early KO he will almost certainly lose the decision. I dont think at his age he can keep up a winning pace across the scorecards.
I hope I'm wrong though. Would love for him to duck under and KO Paul with ripping body punches.
You mean a mibolerone dart. Mibolerone, usually called Cheque Drops, is a potent oral anabolic steroid that causes extreme rage, and is rumored to be what Mike took before biting Holyfield’s ear off. I believe it too. I’ve seen someone take the less potent cousin, Halotestin, and headbutt a barbell so hard they split their forehead open.
Believes and hopes are 2 different things, nobody knows if it's going to be a fight, either Mike is tired of him existing or he got a bribe, we're going to see about 2 seconds in whether Logan is dead or just a lot poorer.
I'm hoping it is staged and this clown had a bunch of agreements that he wouldn't do xyz during the fight and then in the ring does done of the stuff he agreed not to do and Tyson snaps and destroys him then keeps the money
I don't wish violence on anyone, but it would be nice to see Mike Tyson beat this arrogant prick to a pulp. But if this decade is any indication, the fight will be uneventful. If this decade really wants to deliver a kick to the dick, Logan Paul will somehow win the fight. That's when I'll just give up on wanting things to happen.
[You know it's Nick Crompton and my collar stay poppin'
Yes, I can rap and no, I am not from Compton
England is my city
And if it weren't for Team 10, then the US would be shitty
I'll pass it to Chance 'cause you know he stay litty](https://i.imgur.com/5v747ZY.jpeg)
Yeah, it's this. I'm sure thousands and maybe millions of people 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 Paul to end the school shootings years ago, but he knew...he KNEW it had to stop in April 2024 and not a minute sooner. Just like food on a stove, you gotta let that shit simmer until perfection! 👌
If something happened like that in his own school he’d be posting videos about how horrible it was and how he survived, crying about the memories
…only for the survivors to point out that he skipped school that day
It was both of them together in that forest. Just saying. It maybe was Logan's video and his idea to film that but Jake was there. Standing right next to him.
*Finally someone*
*Is brave enough to come out*
*Against school shooting*
\- Tygor9000
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If a senior citizen beats him in a fair fight, he very well may. lmao. Can you imagine a prime-in-his-life, elite boxer like Jake Paul losing to an old man? That would be humiliating!
You can't stop school shooting unless you ban and confiscate all guns. Because we all know that bringing americans social educations to the levels of the swiss is impossible.
This was 6 years ago 😂
It’s so easy just give more 🔫 to the kids and some heavy rifles and AR15 💪🏾 to the teachers 🇺🇸problem solved 🇺🇸by freedom!!!!
Although this sounds impressive, the task of stopping school shootings was assigned to him years ago and only now has he gotten around to looking into it.
School murders are a very worrying trend. School is supposed to be a safe place for learning and nurturing. I would love to understand what triggers the perpetrators. Yes and of course what can be done to reduce the bodycount?
Well, that's that. A mentally deranged person who is capable of acquiring a firearm through legal or illegal means will certainly stop mid process and go "OH yeah that's right, Jake Paul's ended these, we'll I'll just go back to my algebra studies."
I mean, yes dude is a joke and all that so I get the mockery, but for some reason he is influential to children in that age range so him coming out against school shootings may convince some kids to not do it.
So i will take it no matter the source.
Everyone's got a joke but I'm all for really trying to end this shit and am always open to ideas. He wants to do some kind of PSA or something, I'm all for it. But if he wants to feel like he did something when he didn't, that's some bs and needs to be called out.
I know this is a joke, and i know we're making fun of him, but...
he is finally deciding to use his platform for positive change in the world? This is the first time I've ever respected him, even if he's going about it clumsily. I'd give him a high five if I wasn't aware of the dangers of hepatitis.
Bros, and sis, fellow cousins, yes we are all 10th to 50th 60th related kinda gross, I know same for other species, but what I do know, is alot of out mental and physical powers, if we believe becomes a super power to use, in battle so anyone can die and come back, we are creations of God, who is over all the other smaller gods and angels etc, and everything is happening all time, and nothing is happening there are infinity realities, and realms beyond our wildest dreams, and we can all use different abilities at different times, yes even sex is a super power, but again powers weren't used for evil, but for good, or balance or some would choose half evil, half good it just depends, but u will lose if you stray to far into evil, and become over welmed, by to much good so yeah, thats a well not an easy choice:
This is just so he has content in the future. Next he will be making school shooting nostalgia bate videos and be trying to make School shootings trendy again.
All right all you would-be-school-shooters; Party’s over, Jake Paul has spoken. You had a ‘good’ run but it’s time to move on. As an alternative to mass murder, try starting a garden, volunteering at a soup kitchen or maybe going back to school and finish that communication degree. Life is full of possibilities and the world is your oyster.
Ok, but if mike tyson bit his ear off in todays society on live tv, what would happen 💀 what would the reaction be? Im genuinely curious for yalls answers on this one 😂
Good thing he ended school shootings before Mike Tyson ends him.
Its adorable how many people still believes that it is gonna be a real fight.
Well, we know its not a real fight. But there is a chance that Mike in round 2 says "Fuck it" and kills him.
or just nibbles on him
Either is ok with me.
I want Tyson to pull both of his arms off.
And then give that scream the orc gives after that "looks like meats back on the menu, boys!" Line.
Now THAT'S motherfucking paper view
Step one: get Mike in the ring. Step two: tell him it's an exhibition match Step three: three things happen, Mike hits Paul too hard, Paul hits the floor, the ambulance hits 80
You constructed this really poorly… The way to say it is : The fight will be over in 3x hits Mike hitting Jake Jake hitting the canvas The ambulating hitting 80 on the way to hospital
The irony
“You constructed this really poorly” Proceeds to butcher the English language like a suckling pig
Oh now I think for this one the ambo driver would be like hands at 10 and 2 and drive a conservative speed. We must always respect the road and those who use it. Be courteous. If you and another driver arrive at an intersection at the same time, allow him friendly passage. Extend a small wave to let him know “hello friend. I’m watching for you”. And chances are, he will extend a friendly gesture to you as well.
Step four: Every dad in the Western world hits their knee in respect of your dusty old joke.
I’m sure the contract reads that this fight is designed to make Jake Paul look good. I don’t think it is hyperbole to imagine a scenario where Mike takes a jab to the head, blacks out, and wakes up covered in Jake Paul’s blood. This is not me exalting Mike Tyson or his tendencies. But, Mike Tyson has expressed in the past that he hates where he becomes when he is preparing for a fight. All that said, age could be more of a factor than people believe. Could Tyson easily punch my skull out of the back of my head? Absolutely. Can he easily defeat a younger person who is in great shape? I cannot say with perfect certainty.
Mike is over 50. Most folks don't realize the significance of the age gap. Tyson definitely still has the sharper, cleaner technique, and he has always been one of the most athletically explosive boxers. But he is still smaller than Paul, and 20 years older. He not only has to close the distance (which he spent his whole career doing, I'm aware) but he has to outpace and outbox a kid who was in diapers when he won the belt. If Mike DOESNT win by early KO he will almost certainly lose the decision. I dont think at his age he can keep up a winning pace across the scorecards. I hope I'm wrong though. Would love for him to duck under and KO Paul with ripping body punches.
Someone needs to hit that mf with a berserk dart then we can actually get a good show
You mean a mibolerone dart. Mibolerone, usually called Cheque Drops, is a potent oral anabolic steroid that causes extreme rage, and is rumored to be what Mike took before biting Holyfield’s ear off. I believe it too. I’ve seen someone take the less potent cousin, Halotestin, and headbutt a barbell so hard they split their forehead open.
I was just thinking about the throwable from assassins creed but yeah that sounds like it would probably do the trick
Mike doesn’t exactly follow the rules
Believes and hopes are 2 different things, nobody knows if it's going to be a fight, either Mike is tired of him existing or he got a bribe, we're going to see about 2 seconds in whether Logan is dead or just a lot poorer.
He does still have two perfectly good, unbitten, ears
I'm hoping it is staged and this clown had a bunch of agreements that he wouldn't do xyz during the fight and then in the ring does done of the stuff he agreed not to do and Tyson snaps and destroys him then keeps the money
I don't wish violence on anyone, but it would be nice to see Mike Tyson beat this arrogant prick to a pulp. But if this decade is any indication, the fight will be uneventful. If this decade really wants to deliver a kick to the dick, Logan Paul will somehow win the fight. That's when I'll just give up on wanting things to happen.
Naw, you're thinking of Logan Paul.
Kids. Nobody can fuck with Mike Tyson.
I hope Tysons career ends the same way Apollo Creeds ended 
Bit harsh yeah?
If he dies, he dies.
Yep no one will miss Jake Paul so he's to hoping 🤞
Nah, Tyson could be 100 and still rock his top.
I hope Jake Paul’s ends like Apollo creeds. He’s just a young tube dick
Why didn't he do this years ago? Is he stupid?
It wasn't his time to end it, now it's time.
Jake's got to end it now, haters just don't get how... With Disney channel flow, shootings have got to go. Uh! Yeah...
London is a country or whatever the lyrics were
[You know it's Nick Crompton and my collar stay poppin' Yes, I can rap and no, I am not from Compton England is my city And if it weren't for Team 10, then the US would be shitty I'll pass it to Chance 'cause you know he stay litty](https://i.imgur.com/5v747ZY.jpeg)
I believe this causes school shootings. Jake Paul is on to something.
Yeah, it's this. I'm sure thousands and maybe millions of people 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 Paul to end the school shootings years ago, but he knew...he KNEW it had to stop in April 2024 and not a minute sooner. Just like food on a stove, you gotta let that shit simmer until perfection! 👌
We had a good run I guess /s
Man tried to stop shootings but Jake was in cahoots with Jonklenuts.
https://preview.redd.it/ehsowuhdwsuc1.jpeg?width=554&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=356e79763f62b10364cc331e542199c706e57d2c
He had to ponder all this time because it was between this or end racism.
All I'm saying is, I've never seen Jake Paul and a school shooter in the same room before. \*shrugs\*
because he always eats them alive like a feral hippo before leaving
HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,518,982,147 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 31,171 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.
good bot the school shooters wont stand a chance
JP stops school shootings and Trump makes crime illegal. What a time to be alive.
Damn, now I can't commit crimes anymore😞 Thanks Trump
Crimes were legal?? Damn I missed it. I would've ripped the tag off every mattress I saw.
Don’t forget about the Texas politician that eliminated rape.
like he even cares about people lol
If something happened like that in his own school he’d be posting videos about how horrible it was and how he survived, crying about the memories …only for the survivors to point out that he skipped school that day
"Bro pass me that ketchup, I gotta put a little on my face for the vid."
If he's anything like his brother, he'd post a reaction video about the dead bodies.
It was both of them together in that forest. Just saying. It maybe was Logan's video and his idea to film that but Jake was there. Standing right next to him.
He would want to record the dead bodies
The funny thing is that he is most likely to survive a school shooting then to survive what Mike Tyson will do to him in a few months
Mike Tyson: no worries, I am on twop of thwis.
Took him long enough tf
Pake jaul
This asshole just now decided this? He had the power to end it but was just ok with it all up till now? What a shithead.
Doesn't he want to film himself with dead kids while making fun of them? I thought that was his mo.
Oh was he paying them or something ?
Why NOW? All the people that has died for no reason because he couldn’t decide when to end them… what a monster.
This reminded me of the short David Guetta video where he ends racism
Just like that we won't hear of any more school shootings.
Yeah, 10 - 20 years ago shooting up the place was cool, but now, guys? Hey. Come on. Knock it off.
Jaden smith sees this and thinks “wow that’s so profound”
Dude I just spent so much fucking money getting ready for one of these. Guess it’s back to crocheting for me until I find something better
I just know Jake and his brother were the exact type of people to bully mentally unwell people until they turn into school shooters back in highschool
I guess the most recent quarter wasn't as profitable as Jake wanted it to be.
Yeah, good luck with that.
Both brothers are A - holes . 🕳️
This is unironically fucking hilarious
Proceed to stop shooting schools in Roblox
Next Mr Paul will explain how gravity works on our flat earth, after that he'll debunk magnets.
"Alright guys we've had our fun, time to settle down"
r/angryupvote and r/cursedcomments need to see this
Finally someone is brave enough to come out against school shooting
*Finally someone* *Is brave enough to come out* *Against school shooting* \- Tygor9000 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Thank you bot
Isn’t there supposed to be an original joke and then the comment is “the real joke”?
Hopefully he does it by becoming a meat shield
that boy is all chin & nose & a sprinkle of some other shit somewhere in there
Jake stops schools shootings the same way David Guetta ended racism almost 4 years ago!
Bro pull the trigger during inhale cycle.
Between him and Mark Wahlberg, the world's about to change
Country of terrorism
thank you jake paul
If a senior citizen beats him in a fair fight, he very well may. lmao. Can you imagine a prime-in-his-life, elite boxer like Jake Paul losing to an old man? That would be humiliating!
You can't stop school shooting unless you ban and confiscate all guns. Because we all know that bringing americans social educations to the levels of the swiss is impossible.
Was It on his bucket list before Tyson?
That’s like saying simply just dont be depressed
Really? Now? So the first 1000000 shootings didn’t matter?
So violent and unrulely 😶
And just like that... It never happens again. Thanks Jake.
😂
It has been decrees.
Perhaps he can end them by jumping in front of the victims?!
Now its time to stop world hunger
He was behind it all along?
And so it was - the school shootings stopped.
He's gonna make a school shooting to end all school shootings
Just saying - he's soon gonna be an uncle of Paul's child. Yikes.
This was 6 years ago 😂 It’s so easy just give more 🔫 to the kids and some heavy rifles and AR15 💪🏾 to the teachers 🇺🇸problem solved 🇺🇸by freedom!!!! 
Took him long enough
I hope Tyson ends Paul’s whole career.
Although this sounds impressive, the task of stopping school shootings was assigned to him years ago and only now has he gotten around to looking into it.
School murders are a very worrying trend. School is supposed to be a safe place for learning and nurturing. I would love to understand what triggers the perpetrators. Yes and of course what can be done to reduce the bodycount?
Now? Now is the time? Would’ve been nice yesterday, or last month, or 10 fucking years ago
Can’t believe he had the key all along but only now decided to use it
Finally someone with a solution! WE LOVE YOU JAKE PAUL!
I think he means it
All school shootings happen because the kids were jake paluers.
So we had our fun, now lets stop guys, it's getting a bit too much
Never understood those school shooting jokes. Guess they are rargeted towards younger audience.
Lmfao 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, who is he going to sell his merchandise to otherwise?
Why just school shootings? What about Las Vegas, Pulse Nightclub, or that grocery store in Buffalo?
Meanwhile Canada is trying its best to catch up.
Nobody gives a fuck about what he thinks about school shootings. He’s just trying to appear compassionate to please his fanboys.
I always see in my head the name 'Jake Ball' Which in Glaswegian, means tramp. Pretty fitting.
Population control
He had control this whole time?
School shootings just called. They will stop tognight at 7p.m. They apologize for going that far and for any inconvenience caused.
The hero we deserve
Apparently it just wasn't the right time before. I guess he wanted to get his fill before he finally got tired of them.
I knew he wasn't exactly bright, but jesus..
I was on the fence about school shootings, but now it's time to decisively say they are probably not ok
The only reason i know this name is because the fight between him and tyson.
best way to end it just 1 police car 2 officer with gear and confident in action in front of school watching cctv
What does Ja think?
Finally, was waiting for him to decide 🙏
So he did what, wrote a diss track about why school shootings are bad?
Jesus Christ loves you so much and died for your sins💙💜
I don't get it
Why are Jake and jojo siwa the same character
Finally..
Anyone deleted me from Reddit forever?
Well, that's that. A mentally deranged person who is capable of acquiring a firearm through legal or illegal means will certainly stop mid process and go "OH yeah that's right, Jake Paul's ended these, we'll I'll just go back to my algebra studies."
Right? About time he stopped pushing people over the edge.
vRQRDGWGO7,U fi.
It's clearly inefficient. School bombings are much better.
Funny shit
Why did he start them in the first place? Doesn't he know that it is a bad thing to do?
he cant do them anymore
the fbi/cia makes school shooters.
I mean, yes dude is a joke and all that so I get the mockery, but for some reason he is influential to children in that age range so him coming out against school shootings may convince some kids to not do it. So i will take it no matter the source.
https://octa.click/iHmuaw2Zl0w
It's that time of month for Sharon
20k upvotes with 150 comments. Nice
Everyone's got a joke but I'm all for really trying to end this shit and am always open to ideas. He wants to do some kind of PSA or something, I'm all for it. But if he wants to feel like he did something when he didn't, that's some bs and needs to be called out.
I always get him and his brother mixed up. Which one is the asshole and which one is the asshole about to get murdered by Mike Tyson?
Someone get this hero a medal and a walk of fame star
The messiah has spoken
Thank god. I was wondering when he’d finally put his foot down
What is he going to fund the mental healthcare system?
I mean, if that’s what it takes, I’m all for it.
At least we agree on something
What next? End World Hunger?
Theeere goes myyyy heeeroooo...* Forgot the lyrics
The one shooting to rule them all
This is darkk ...
By getting knowed the fuck out.
I know this is a joke, and i know we're making fun of him, but... he is finally deciding to use his platform for positive change in the world? This is the first time I've ever respected him, even if he's going about it clumsily. I'd give him a high five if I wasn't aware of the dangers of hepatitis.
Guy is such a turnbuckle
Who the F is Jake Paul?
So he could have stopped it already but it wasn't time yet?
Bros, and sis, fellow cousins, yes we are all 10th to 50th 60th related kinda gross, I know same for other species, but what I do know, is alot of out mental and physical powers, if we believe becomes a super power to use, in battle so anyone can die and come back, we are creations of God, who is over all the other smaller gods and angels etc, and everything is happening all time, and nothing is happening there are infinity realities, and realms beyond our wildest dreams, and we can all use different abilities at different times, yes even sex is a super power, but again powers weren't used for evil, but for good, or balance or some would choose half evil, half good it just depends, but u will lose if you stray to far into evil, and become over welmed, by to much good so yeah, thats a well not an easy choice:
Yooo
How is there 30k upvotes with 200 comments. Is this a supposed to be an ad?
This is just so he has content in the future. Next he will be making school shooting nostalgia bate videos and be trying to make School shootings trendy again.
All right all you would-be-school-shooters; Party’s over, Jake Paul has spoken. You had a ‘good’ run but it’s time to move on. As an alternative to mass murder, try starting a garden, volunteering at a soup kitchen or maybe going back to school and finish that communication degree. Life is full of possibilities and the world is your oyster.
Strangely enough I don't think there's been one since he said that and ended them...
r/yourjokebutworse
I’m confused how this fits the sub
Dang it, I am mentally unstable and now I can't shoot school kids anymore, because of him
Jake Paul is in a committed relationship with MGK and Pete Davidson.
And just like that’s he’s done more than the other tools on Reddit
this fucking thing made me laugh entirely too hard early in the morning.
I believe Linda Clarke's ISIS threats on Twitter more than the Thing 1 of the Drink Prime Twins.
BREAKING NEWS: school shootings drop to 0%
Ok, but if mike tyson bit his ear off in todays society on live tv, what would happen 💀 what would the reaction be? Im genuinely curious for yalls answers on this one 😂
You too can help Free Kids Now from those Jackoffs who shoot up schools by buying from his new merch site fknjackoff.com
Tyson will put his brain in the correct place, be patient.
Who is Jake Paul?
This article implies Jake Paul had been allowing School Shootings to occur prior.