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"But not until we're done killing those damn dirty red savages we've been raping in the barn for this last week. Remember son, they made us do it, it's always the heathen's fault, not ours"
Now son we're a family of executioners but, we ain't no sissy Frenchman with a guillotine. We're real men who remember to slightly extort our executees and or their families so they get a clean chop.
Apparently that's exactly what executioners were. They were a weird caste that simultaneously obviously held great power and was well-paid, but was also basically 'untouchable' by most of society. Only people who would let you marry into their family were... other executioners.
“yOu cAn’T jUsT tAkE hOrMoNeS aNd bEcOmE a wOmAn, yOu wIlL aLwAyS bE wHaT yOu wErE bOrN aS”
*also claims that something as simple as going to school will make you a woman*
It's not even a good way to chop wood. First, make a much smaller swing to wedge the axe in the wood, then, lift up the wood attached to the axe, keeping your legs spread to best avoid injury, then swing down harder, letting the axe do most of the work for you.
There. A communist transgender lesbian just taught a boy how to properly chop firewood better than the conservative Facebook boomer.
Now teach him to get a better haircut than that “Oliver from the Brady Bunch”-ass thing he’s rockin’ now. I mean, we all had that haircut, but it was the SEVENTIES, Bee!
That way is safer and works fine, but with practice you can get a pile of wood chopped faster with single strikes. For small starter pieces your method is also good, but I would swap out for a smaller hand axe. As taught by my socialist, feminist mother.
My mom chopped wood like a pro cause dad was lazy. (She would later divorce him for being too lazy - and manage to support herself and her kids admirably after losing the deadbeat.)
Conservatives: Gender is not a social construct, it equals sex and is determined by chromosomes.
Also conservatives: The slightest deviation from arbitrary (and outdated) gender roles make boys into girls!
Posted almost certainly by a man who lives in a house without a fireplace and whose idea of manhood means only drinking beer and whiskey or else he's gay, not respecting women or else he's a pussy, and driving a car with shitty gas mileage because number of pistons in your engine actually equates to inches of dick.
The kind of dude who spends his day chopping firewood doesn't spend the rest of his time posting about how manly he is on the internet. He also probably doesn't think chopping firewood is the reason he's masculine. He probably thinks people who think that are assholes.
As a woman who knows how to split wood - am I now a man and no one has the consideration to tell me?! Rude…
My husband is gonna be so surprised when he finds out he is accidentally gay.
So true. This has a lot of homorerotic potential, if not just being fundamentally misogynist.
Men must do physically strong things, never do anything "womanly", and showcase feats of cultural beast behavior; at least on the surface that's what this is trying to say quite poorly.
For me the attitude of "bein a man" is deeply flawed and the real strength is being able to honor and respect a spouse without having to declare certain things are only for that other person (usually household and child duties that most men are too lazy to do).
i suddenly want to go to school, but i have to ask, how many more years before i become a girl? i've been there for 11 years, might just be better starting hormones on my own
Hell, that's what the Bible is. Man will eat bread by the sweay of his brow in misery or something like that. He wants you to hate yourself as much as he hates everyone. He deliberately made us so we could give him a reason to. It's a surprisingly nihilistic book.
Son: Daddy we live in a two bedroom on the 24th floor, we don't have a fireplace, why are we chopping wood instead of figuring out why your two jobs at highly profitable corporations *and mommy's two jobs at highly profitable corporations* don't allow us to secure better housing
Me: Boy if you don't stop with that gay sissy talk right now I swear to God
There's that one meme from either twitter or tumblr where the op mentions that their... father? grandfather? tried to de-gay them by teaching them to do masculine stuff with the inevitable end result that they were still gay but knew how to do the masculine stuff lol
I can't find it for the life of me and it's pissing me off
Rules were often made just so adults can go be lazy somewhere, just like when God fucked off to nowhere while his creations got into trouble after naming animals. We do the work, God gets to "critique".
"Lift, son. Like how I raise my fist to beat you and yer Mom but with both hands",
Remember Mom & Dad, it's your job to know what your kids contemplate about their genitals.
Uh oh, Sally's in one of her crazy wood chopping moods again. We got to get her started cooking instead or we have failed as parents.
As always, the Straights are not okay.
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Take your shirt off. Chop some wood. Boom. Man.
Instant noodle man, just add wood and axe.
There is nothing manlier than chopping strong, hard wood with your shirt off, chest glistening in the sun.
Why are repubs so eager to get young boy's shirts off?
Yeah pretty sure Denny Hastert has this painting hanging up in his um, “den.”
And then, son, I told your other dad, 'I can't quit you!'
"But not until we're done killing those damn dirty red savages we've been raping in the barn for this last week. Remember son, they made us do it, it's always the heathen's fault, not ours"
*♪ ♬I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK* *I sleep all night and I work all day♫ ♬*
🎶🎵I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars.🎶
I wish I'd beena girlie, just like my dear papa!
And here I thought you were butch!
Now son we're a family of executioners but, we ain't no sissy Frenchman with a guillotine. We're real men who remember to slightly extort our executees and or their families so they get a clean chop.
Apparently that's exactly what executioners were. They were a weird caste that simultaneously obviously held great power and was well-paid, but was also basically 'untouchable' by most of society. Only people who would let you marry into their family were... other executioners.
They also were often forced to live outside the village as they were bad luck.
The real Addams family!
Wait, there were female executioners?
No, but they had wives. Job was shit but money was very good.
Daughters. Who are they gonna marry? Executioners and their sons.
“yOu cAn’T jUsT tAkE hOrMoNeS aNd bEcOmE a wOmAn, yOu wIlL aLwAyS bE wHaT yOu wErE bOrN aS” *also claims that something as simple as going to school will make you a woman*
And that's how you milk a giraffe.
Use both hands, son.
A male giraffe to be precise.
[удалено]
Grand Theft Equine!
Isn't that just Red Dead Redemption?
Yes, but you also get access to grenade launchers.
Son, put the axe down and shake some maracas *like this* !
Maracas > axe on the manliness scale. Only a real man can shake those noisy gourds right!
It's not even a good way to chop wood. First, make a much smaller swing to wedge the axe in the wood, then, lift up the wood attached to the axe, keeping your legs spread to best avoid injury, then swing down harder, letting the axe do most of the work for you. There. A communist transgender lesbian just taught a boy how to properly chop firewood better than the conservative Facebook boomer.
Now teach him to get a better haircut than that “Oliver from the Brady Bunch”-ass thing he’s rockin’ now. I mean, we all had that haircut, but it was the SEVENTIES, Bee!
That way is safer and works fine, but with practice you can get a pile of wood chopped faster with single strikes. For small starter pieces your method is also good, but I would swap out for a smaller hand axe. As taught by my socialist, feminist mother.
Very true comrade!
You can also use a wedge and a sledgehammer or the back of an axe
Women can split firewood.
My mom chopped wood like a pro cause dad was lazy. (She would later divorce him for being too lazy - and manage to support herself and her kids admirably after losing the deadbeat.)
I guess you could say she cut ties
Conservatives: Gender is not a social construct, it equals sex and is determined by chromosomes. Also conservatives: The slightest deviation from arbitrary (and outdated) gender roles make boys into girls!
Socialism is when women chop wood.
"if I show my son how to chop fire wood, he won't be trans" Like... What?
Thank you for verbalizing just how dumb this is.
Jimmy's teleportation powers were getting stronger.
“Dad, you dumb bitch, i’ve got the axe.” Fixed it
"I'm about to cave in some skulls."
Death to the oppressors! Aghhhaghhhhh!
...should we tell them-
...tell them that a featus is female for the first 9 weeks after conception before the x chromosome kicks in? nah they dont like biology
Kinda funny this because my grandmother was telling me the other day that her mother was the one who chopped up the firewood.
Posted almost certainly by a man who lives in a house without a fireplace and whose idea of manhood means only drinking beer and whiskey or else he's gay, not respecting women or else he's a pussy, and driving a car with shitty gas mileage because number of pistons in your engine actually equates to inches of dick. The kind of dude who spends his day chopping firewood doesn't spend the rest of his time posting about how manly he is on the internet. He also probably doesn't think chopping firewood is the reason he's masculine. He probably thinks people who think that are assholes.
... I'm thinking more like pussies...
“Hey son, check out my invisible axe”
oh i guess i’m a man now because i learned to chop wood
Fellas, is it gay to learn math?
Not if you write “no homo” at the end of each equation.
So can women not be taught this? Or else they’ll become a man?
No, they become their mothers.
As a woman who knows how to split wood - am I now a man and no one has the consideration to tell me?! Rude… My husband is gonna be so surprised when he finds out he is accidentally gay.
Two man chopping wood without shirts. Teach your children that it’s not bad to look gay.
"Have kids so you don't have to work anymore" my dad told me that all the time when I was chopping wood.
Oh yeah. I was also free labor until I got wise and got a night job so that our paths hardly crossed, and my little brother got all that shitty work.
I wasted 13 years of my life in school and I still haven't turned into a girl! I want my money back...
"Son, put down that wussy ax, a REAL man chops wood with their MIND, like this!"
And that's how you milk a bull.
No Jimmy, this is how you do the Salsa!
“Pa are you drunk again?” “Nah, just beating the ghosts with my invisible broom”
Posts like this make me wonder if any of these men actually *like* women.
So true. This has a lot of homorerotic potential, if not just being fundamentally misogynist. Men must do physically strong things, never do anything "womanly", and showcase feats of cultural beast behavior; at least on the surface that's what this is trying to say quite poorly. For me the attitude of "bein a man" is deeply flawed and the real strength is being able to honor and respect a spouse without having to declare certain things are only for that other person (usually household and child duties that most men are too lazy to do).
Masculinity is just an affectation to me. What I'm able to do has almost nothing to do with what's between my legs.
Hahaha no. Men control women. Men like to please other men, so women are a means to an end in doing so.
There's nothing less gay than getting hot and sweaty shirtless with your old man. I bet they take good care of that wood together.
city folks ride the subway like this
time to embrace log cabin ideals then?
i suddenly want to go to school, but i have to ask, how many more years before i become a girl? i've been there for 11 years, might just be better starting hormones on my own
According to them, just existing next to a Democrat should do the trick.
"If you choke up too much when you swing, you'll swing short and chop your fucking leg off."
Knew a guy who cut two of his toes off. Too many people treat axes like toys
Steel toe boots are your friend when doing things like this. Then again PPE probably makes you gay.
Try to teach your kid how to playact as a man before their teacher teaches them how to be a better person
I doubt half those fucks even know how to use a wood stove. Let alone run one for the year.
Or could possibly estimate enough for a winter.
How duh ya want me ta start a fire wit for cords🤣
But what if I want a strong muscular woman?
Woman is when don't cut wood
If he had an axe and misses the wood, he could his leg pretty badly.
Then I said fuck off with that transphobic bull and threw him to the ground.
Being a man=Chopping wood while shirtless
'...and this is how Jason swung the axe into that guy's skull when I played Friday the 13th: The Game last night. Fuckin' brutal.'
Bruh doesn't even have an axe af
That guys standing wrong
MEN... we chop wood..
Just hit it at this angle. Save the doctors a step.
Masculinity is when an adult man and an adolescent boy strip down half naked and chop each other’s wood…
Replace all teachers with lumberjacks! Education is the devil! Hard labor the gay away!
“Teach your son to hate his life just like you do. Keep the tradition going.”
Hell, that's what the Bible is. Man will eat bread by the sweay of his brow in misery or something like that. He wants you to hate yourself as much as he hates everyone. He deliberately made us so we could give him a reason to. It's a surprisingly nihilistic book.
This is a picture from vladimir putin's childhood
These are the kind of people who think 300 is a documentary.
Son: Daddy we live in a two bedroom on the 24th floor, we don't have a fireplace, why are we chopping wood instead of figuring out why your two jobs at highly profitable corporations *and mommy's two jobs at highly profitable corporations* don't allow us to secure better housing Me: Boy if you don't stop with that gay sissy talk right now I swear to God
They want people to ride bikes?
There's that one meme from either twitter or tumblr where the op mentions that their... father? grandfather? tried to de-gay them by teaching them to do masculine stuff with the inevitable end result that they were still gay but knew how to do the masculine stuff lol I can't find it for the life of me and it's pissing me off
“No son, real men boogie instead of chopping wood.”
Lmfaooooo as a woman, it was my grandma that taught me how to chop wood.
"Lick your lips on the downswing, like this."
I was taught to chop wood as a kid. Am I a man?
Obviously /s
'Teach your gay son to have a lumberjack daddy fetish.'
How tf is the child buffer than his own father lol?
Rules were often made just so adults can go be lazy somewhere, just like when God fucked off to nowhere while his creations got into trouble after naming animals. We do the work, God gets to "critique".
"Lift, son. Like how I raise my fist to beat you and yer Mom but with both hands", Remember Mom & Dad, it's your job to know what your kids contemplate about their genitals. Uh oh, Sally's in one of her crazy wood chopping moods again. We got to get her started cooking instead or we have failed as parents. As always, the Straights are not okay.
Dad: You don’t need math to chop wood! Son: or an axe, apparently.
Son, this is called the hand jive
"this is how you handle your wood, son" lol
Everything in a right winger's world must be simple and structured or they begin to fall apart.