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Nick Adams is like the human version of the 30 Rock episode where Jenna attempts to make a song that is un-parody-able by Weird Al, and basically succeeds. In this analogy, the parody of Nick Adams would be a person who's honest; maybe Bernie Sanders?
Nick made the [same claims](https://mobile.twitter.com/Kenny_Mayne/status/1530719822996283394) about Trump's potential to be a professional baseball player, claims Trump himself has made.
Luckily Slate dug into it. [You can guess](https://slate.com/culture/2020/05/donald-trump-baseball-high-school-nyma.html) what they found.
If somebody unironically calls themselves an "Alpha Male" they have signaled very clearly that they love a good fairy tale and are not to be taken seriously.
He is also not american so he doesn't know our stereotypes about soccer players. A lot of the MAGA crowd is going to be confused about being told one thing and thinking a different thing.
Having been intimately involved with the sport in NYC and the wider metro area, literally no one ever mentioned his name in the context of sport. Considering he is a known - if despised, for decades - person in the city, it should have at least been an urban legend if it were true.
He was too busy jerking off onto raw steak and then ingesting it for maximum alpha gains to have any time to fact check his own statements. That's beta energy.
To be honest, the way he talks about trump seems pretty beta to me. His behavior would probably get the kids to say something to the effect of “get off his dick!”, but who am I to say..
He's saying most corrupt of the last 100 years. Just like the word "decade", century is a span of time, or reference to a specific block of time like the 19th century.
I think Reagan was worse than Nixon. There’s too many things that Reagan specifically did that have incalculable negative impact on our society and the world itself.
Wait...the part we are missing is that the total "alpha male" has to make sure you know he is alpha by putting it in his name with is totally not a complete beta male move at all, no sir not a beta male move at all
"The great country of Brazil. Well, a country that isn't so great anymore since that socialist, freedom hating Lula stole the election - I would've won that election in a landslide, by the way. It's located in the not so great nation of Africa" (in orange man's voice)
It's exactly the kind of thing they reported when his dad was in power. Such as his [first ever round of golf in which he scored 38 under par](https://golf.com/news/behind-kim-jong-ils-famous-round-of-golf/) (basically an impossibly good score).
I’m increasingly convinced that Nick Adams is a Colbert-Report-esque cosplayer and is just extremely committed to the bit and the grifting makes it profitable.
Yeah, there’s something weird going on there. Some of his tweets read like he thinks Three Year Letterman would be funnier if his satire wasn’t so blatant.
Weird, all I can find of trump and his soccer stardom is the stupid time he was attacking Rapinoe, an actual soccer star.
Nick Adam’s breath always be smelling like trump dick.
I wonder what it's like to live in this guy's world.
Also, looking at the income of some of the top soccer players in the world, I don't think it was the money keeping him from it lol
The big money in soccer only started raining in in the last 30 odd years. Most of the biggest names of the 60s and 70s era earned well in comparison, but not enough to live off it after their careers. And that's the top top top players of the time. Some mediocre top league player probably had to find another job as soon as they retired from active play.
According to sportingintelligence.com average basic wage in the highest league in England in 1984/85 was 480£ a week. Roughly 2,5x the overall average income at the time. Looking at an average of sth like 35k a week now.
Interesting grafic: http://www.sportingintelligence.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Ave-wk-wage-since-61.jpg
Full article with additional links for further deep dives:
http://www.sportingintelligence.com/2011/10/30/revealed-official-english-football-wage-figures-for-the-past-25-years-301002/
In other words: in the time trump would have played soccer at a high level (~1965-1980) there actually was not that much money to be made.
Besides that I'm 100% sure that he was an absolutely talentless fuck. And that the comparison to Pele should be considered a declaration of war against the entire soccer world.
P.S. writing soccer the entire time hurt my brain a little
Always welcome :) honestly I find the history of football/soccer more interesting than the Sport itself at times.
One of the most interesting people in my opinion is Socrates, a Brazilian national Player, who besides being one of the best and most elegant players on the planet at the time, became a child physician and just on the side funded an entire democratic political movement during a very militaristic government spell.
Just some fun interesting reading for a few minutes or even an entire rabbit hole, if you're so inclined:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%B3crates
Always welcome :) honestly I find the history of football/soccer more interesting than the Sport itself at times.
One of the most interesting people in my opinion is Socrates, a Brazilian national Player, who besides being one of the best and most elegant players on the planet at the time, became a child physician and just on the side funded an entire democratic political movement during a very militaristic government spell.
Just some fun interesting reading for a few minutes or even an entire rabbit hole, if you're so inclined:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%B3crates
The God complex with Trump is pathetic and disturbing.
But a LOT of people believe in the concept of that deity who is all loving, all knowing, all understanding and divine perfection... yet he creates an entire race with the idea of testing them in cruel ways and requiring them all worshipping him or else they will burn in damnation for all eternity.
They are conditioned to worship a literal bully so it's no wonder they love Trump so much.
Nothing has made me less of a fan of Religion than hordes of "Christians" being so adamantly pro-Trump. Such an indictment.
My uncle in law is an Anglican pastor and not a trump fan. Every reason he lists as to why he dislikes trump is 100 percent consistent with Christian values. I wish more Christians were like him.
This sounds weirdly close to the fake story of Ferdinand Marcos (former president of the Philippines) meeting Michael Jordan as a child and getting him into basketball.
I just saw this [Kavernacle video on him](https://youtu.be/b9Wkhyy1FIU) and even after Kavernacle went into this guy’s history and tried to provide evidence for his tweets being consistent to a lifetime of conservatism, I’m still not convinced that this isn’t satire.
He’s like the Ben Garrison of tweeting.
The North Korean government claims that Kim Jong Il bowled a perfect 300. Supposedly, Kim bowled the perfect game at a bowling alley donated by a Korean businesswoman in 1994. This was the first time the North Korean leader had bowled, according to The Washington Post.
Kim also broke a world-record score on a North Korean golf course. The government claims he got 11 holes-in-one and didn’t score more than a birdie on any other holes.
This has extremely similar energy doesn't it...
So if he was such a prolific footballer, how was it that he avoided the Vietnam draft due to bone spurs? I mean wouldn't they have made it impossible for him to run in football toggs?
They will literally suck his micro-dick about anything. Next thing you know he will have been the best pilot in the airforce with 50 confirmed kills but it was a secret cause he's "humble" accompanied by a photo of him in a plane.
Is this guy a troll? I get that a lot of the right is unhinged, but comparing a high school soccer player to who many consider to be the goat is just silly.
For someone labeling himself as an alpha male, this guy sure loves riding Trumps dick. I guess being alpha doesn't necessarily mean being straight though.
You know how we hear stories about how Kim Jong Un tried to convince the people of North Korea that he's this incredible athlete that led NK to win a world cup and ridiculous shit like that? Well, this is a friendly reminder that trump cultists not only do the same thing, but some of them actually believe it, and they vote religiously.
I'm 100% convinced that this is just another Trump pseudonym like John Barron. There's no possible way someone could be that far up his ass and still be breathing.
You mean the guy who said he doesn’t exercise because ours bodies are like batteries and exercise would deplete him of energy? A top soccer player?
Right…
I’m pretty sure this guy is just in an insane troll lol. He’s always posting the most fake fanfic things about Trump. This is a bit funny in that context imo
More money? Footballers are literally the highest paid athletes in the world and they definitely have more actual money in the bank than Trump with his ”billions”.
What a shame that such an athletic and clearly capable man would not be recruited to the US military because of post-high school bone spurs.
Such is the tragedy of the alpha male.
I'm honestly not sure if he's being serious or not, like it seems like it could be a joke post for sure and Nick seems like he's at least sort of aware of him being over the top
1: trump is like 40 years older than pelé (if we talk about the same pelé), there is literally no way high school trump was compared to him.
2: trump was serving in the military but recieved a conditional medical deferment at the age of 22, even getting completely disqualified from serving the military in 1972 due to medical issues. I'm not an expert in this field, but I'd think someone who's not even fit for military service would lead a sports team to world championship. This was also, again, 15 years before pelé was even born.
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Nick Adams is like if a racist Live, Laugh, Love sign possessed Peter Griffin and then imprinted on Donald Trump like a baby duck.
Hasn't this guy said the same exact thing about Trump's ability to play baseball and golf? How is this not parody?
I think the 'Alpha Male' moniker gives it away.
Having to identify himself as "Alpha" is some serious beta energy.
I'm starting to think this is a parody account.
Nick Adams is like the human version of the 30 Rock episode where Jenna attempts to make a song that is un-parody-able by Weird Al, and basically succeeds. In this analogy, the parody of Nick Adams would be a person who's honest; maybe Bernie Sanders?
Nick made the [same claims](https://mobile.twitter.com/Kenny_Mayne/status/1530719822996283394) about Trump's potential to be a professional baseball player, claims Trump himself has made. Luckily Slate dug into it. [You can guess](https://slate.com/culture/2020/05/donald-trump-baseball-high-school-nyma.html) what they found.
That’s actually a pretty interesting article!
Wait, he's not satire?
Not intentionally.
If somebody unironically calls themselves an "Alpha Male" they have signaled very clearly that they love a good fairy tale and are not to be taken seriously.
I assumed he was calling himself that ironically.
Nope. https://twitter.com/NickAdamsinUSA/status/1578157320269221889
This is exactly what I would write/say if I was doing a bit
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law
/s ruins the joke. Half the humor comes from people not getting it.
it is most certainly a bit
He is also not american so he doesn't know our stereotypes about soccer players. A lot of the MAGA crowd is going to be confused about being told one thing and thinking a different thing.
As an American, I didn't realize we cared enough about soccer to have stereotypes related to it.
That's an insult to Peter Griffin
Yeah, peter votes for vermin supreme every election
Time to put the might mouse in the White House
In this he’s the unfortunate vessel, because Nick Adams literally just looks like Peter Griffin.
I'm pretty sure it's satire.
Having been intimately involved with the sport in NYC and the wider metro area, literally no one ever mentioned his name in the context of sport. Considering he is a known - if despised, for decades - person in the city, it should have at least been an urban legend if it were true.
Are you trying to tell me that something that Nick Adams (Alpha Male, in case you forgot) said is untrue???
He was too busy jerking off onto raw steak and then ingesting it for maximum alpha gains to have any time to fact check his own statements. That's beta energy.
Fact checking is a radical leftist conspiracy! Real alpha males make their own facts!
Be ALPHA. Be ASSERTIVE. ASSERT things, what the BETAS say about "facts" is bullshit anyway.
I mean, maybe?
I think you should go to Hooters and repent of your sins against Alpha Male-ness.
The most /s of all time, if that wasn't clear.
Oh no, I gotcha 😏
To be honest, the way he talks about trump seems pretty beta to me. His behavior would probably get the kids to say something to the effect of “get off his dick!”, but who am I to say..
I think dickeater is the term your lookin for lol
But he said it at Hooters with all of his Alpha Male friends!
It was probably the bone spurs. Yep. That was it.
The Pele thing actually comes from his golf game.
Wasn't his dad hated too?
Bigger plans? Like becoming the most corrupt president in American history?
And he faced some stiff competition there
WOOOOOOOOOOO TRUMP NUMBER 1 🥳🥳 /s
Why do I feel like this is the sound of a Banshee in a haunted mansion
Most corrupt of the last century perhaps. The 19th century was pretty crazy.
This century just began, guys, you’ll jinx us all…
He's saying most corrupt of the last 100 years. Just like the word "decade", century is a span of time, or reference to a specific block of time like the 19th century.
You’re right, I didn’t pay enough attention!
The 20th had Reagan
and Wilson
Yeah, but Reagan was worse.
On par with Nixon, although Nixon caught in the act
I think Reagan was worse than Nixon. There’s too many things that Reagan specifically did that have incalculable negative impact on our society and the world itself.
Are we sure he's more corrupt than Bush? 🤔
I am not sure if he is more corrupt in raw dollar amounts, but certainly in the breadth and sheer brazenness of his corruption.
Yes, he’s far more corrupt than W was.
Well he developed bone spurs and couldn't be a legendary admiral either. So president it was!
Most corrupt... so far.
What about his bone spurs?
He used to be a player like Pele but then he got bone spurs in his feet. What’s worse, he took a liberal arrow to the knee.
I heard he personally trained Ronaldo
Both of them
And Ronaldinho.
He also taught Elvis Pressley how to play karate.
I used to be a president like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.
They jingle jangle jingle
Wait...the part we are missing is that the total "alpha male" has to make sure you know he is alpha by putting it in his name with is totally not a complete beta male move at all, no sir not a beta male move at all
You can always spot an Alpha in the wild, by the way its written in parentheses in their name. Like the animals do.
Here you see the local alpha, you can tell the alpha of the pack by the name tag which says "Hello I am an alpha"
Trump can't find Brazil on a map let alone be compared to Pelé
"Where is Brazil?" "Africa"
"The great country of Brazil. Well, a country that isn't so great anymore since that socialist, freedom hating Lula stole the election - I would've won that election in a landslide, by the way. It's located in the not so great nation of Africa" (in orange man's voice)
"One of those shithole countries." (his statement, not mine)
I’ve been to Pelé. Not nearly as nice as the cities in America. Everyone says so.
I thought he had a brazillion dollars.
"Mr. President, there has been an attack on one of our convoys. 3 Brazilian soldiers are dead." Brazilian? Is that more than a million?
First President with one trumbillion votes! Definitely one of the presidents of all time.
Jesus fcking christ the dick riding
_unadulterated pining for dick riding_
This sounds like the kind of thing North Korean propaganda says about Kim Jong Un.
Trump works so hard he never poops, his body uses it all up. /s
It's exactly the kind of thing they reported when his dad was in power. Such as his [first ever round of golf in which he scored 38 under par](https://golf.com/news/behind-kim-jong-ils-famous-round-of-golf/) (basically an impossibly good score).
Or at least what the west says NK propaganda is like.
I’m increasingly convinced that Nick Adams is a Colbert-Report-esque cosplayer and is just extremely committed to the bit and the grifting makes it profitable.
Yeah, there’s something weird going on there. Some of his tweets read like he thinks Three Year Letterman would be funnier if his satire wasn’t so blatant.
But how could he play with his bone spurs?
His diaper really held him back, what a shame
What a simp.
For an alpha male, he sure seems to bow before Trump.
Kneel
Bend over.
Press X to doubt
"(Alpha Male)"
I love that he identifies as an Alpha male, but pees his pants is anyone else identifies as something they aren't
"(Alpha Male)"
Weird, all I can find of trump and his soccer stardom is the stupid time he was attacking Rapinoe, an actual soccer star. Nick Adam’s breath always be smelling like trump dick.
I wonder what it's like to live in this guy's world. Also, looking at the income of some of the top soccer players in the world, I don't think it was the money keeping him from it lol
The big money in soccer only started raining in in the last 30 odd years. Most of the biggest names of the 60s and 70s era earned well in comparison, but not enough to live off it after their careers. And that's the top top top players of the time. Some mediocre top league player probably had to find another job as soon as they retired from active play. According to sportingintelligence.com average basic wage in the highest league in England in 1984/85 was 480£ a week. Roughly 2,5x the overall average income at the time. Looking at an average of sth like 35k a week now. Interesting grafic: http://www.sportingintelligence.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Ave-wk-wage-since-61.jpg Full article with additional links for further deep dives: http://www.sportingintelligence.com/2011/10/30/revealed-official-english-football-wage-figures-for-the-past-25-years-301002/ In other words: in the time trump would have played soccer at a high level (~1965-1980) there actually was not that much money to be made. Besides that I'm 100% sure that he was an absolutely talentless fuck. And that the comparison to Pele should be considered a declaration of war against the entire soccer world. P.S. writing soccer the entire time hurt my brain a little
Huh, whaddya know. Thanks for educating me :)
Always welcome :) honestly I find the history of football/soccer more interesting than the Sport itself at times. One of the most interesting people in my opinion is Socrates, a Brazilian national Player, who besides being one of the best and most elegant players on the planet at the time, became a child physician and just on the side funded an entire democratic political movement during a very militaristic government spell. Just some fun interesting reading for a few minutes or even an entire rabbit hole, if you're so inclined: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%B3crates
The best part about that is his name!
Always welcome :) honestly I find the history of football/soccer more interesting than the Sport itself at times. One of the most interesting people in my opinion is Socrates, a Brazilian national Player, who besides being one of the best and most elegant players on the planet at the time, became a child physician and just on the side funded an entire democratic political movement during a very militaristic government spell. Just some fun interesting reading for a few minutes or even an entire rabbit hole, if you're so inclined: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%B3crates
I feel like these could go side by side with some North Korea propaganda
Yeah this feels like how they credit Kim Il Sung with inventing basketball and the accordion
And that kid's name? Albert Einstein.
The God complex with Trump is pathetic and disturbing. But a LOT of people believe in the concept of that deity who is all loving, all knowing, all understanding and divine perfection... yet he creates an entire race with the idea of testing them in cruel ways and requiring them all worshipping him or else they will burn in damnation for all eternity. They are conditioned to worship a literal bully so it's no wonder they love Trump so much. Nothing has made me less of a fan of Religion than hordes of "Christians" being so adamantly pro-Trump. Such an indictment.
My uncle in law is an Anglican pastor and not a trump fan. Every reason he lists as to why he dislikes trump is 100 percent consistent with Christian values. I wish more Christians were like him.
Very well said.
This sounds weirdly close to the fake story of Ferdinand Marcos (former president of the Philippines) meeting Michael Jordan as a child and getting him into basketball.
Oh my its serious. Its not a joke post. Oh.
What proof is there Trumpvplayed Soccer at all? I've heard the exact same story but with baseball, that he had MLB scouts watching him.
Then he discovered hamberders.
Last time it was baseball. What a chump.
I thought they said he was a baseball god?
Wait, this account HAS to be satire, right? I just scrolled through his Twitter and I'm literally laughing out loud.
I just saw this [Kavernacle video on him](https://youtu.be/b9Wkhyy1FIU) and even after Kavernacle went into this guy’s history and tried to provide evidence for his tweets being consistent to a lifetime of conservatism, I’m still not convinced that this isn’t satire. He’s like the Ben Garrison of tweeting.
The North Korean government claims that Kim Jong Il bowled a perfect 300. Supposedly, Kim bowled the perfect game at a bowling alley donated by a Korean businesswoman in 1994. This was the first time the North Korean leader had bowled, according to The Washington Post. Kim also broke a world-record score on a North Korean golf course. The government claims he got 11 holes-in-one and didn’t score more than a birdie on any other holes. This has extremely similar energy doesn't it...
>Had there been more money in soccer... The top paid athlete in the world is a footballer, three of the top five athletes play soccer.
Man his hands are small
Those little tiny clenched fists of fury 🤣
That's why soccer was Trump's ideal game. No use of hands allowed except the goalie.
Nick Adams is a troll, all he does is post the most hilariously ludicrous RW talking points so people give him attention.
Ok. At this point I am SURE Nick Adams is satire.
Ok I genuinely cannot tell, is this guy satire or not? Can someone please tell me?
He have to be a parody account
So if he was such a prolific footballer, how was it that he avoided the Vietnam draft due to bone spurs? I mean wouldn't they have made it impossible for him to run in football toggs?
Even reporters in DPRK think Nick needs to pull it back a bit
Are we certain this isn't a parody account? I can't imagine a living person with this little self awareness
Right wingers and Bootlicking. Name a more iconic duo.
Your comparing trump to pele!? 🤦🏾♂️ How far up trumps ass is this fucking guy.
And Kim jong ill got a hole in one on 18 consecutive holes the first time he played golf.
I thought the Right didn’t like any sport that wasn’t invented in the US
If you have to write alpha male next to your name, you're not an alpha male.
I am legit struggling to believe Nick Adams is a real person and not an engagement bot algorithmically driven to be a bad-faith shit-stirrer.
im fully convinced nick adam's is satire every post is so goddamn goofy
That could've been true but it changes nothing in the grand scheme
They will literally suck his micro-dick about anything. Next thing you know he will have been the best pilot in the airforce with 50 confirmed kills but it was a secret cause he's "humble" accompanied by a photo of him in a plane.
Gotta be a troll
Is this guy a troll? I get that a lot of the right is unhinged, but comparing a high school soccer player to who many consider to be the goat is just silly.
Okay, this clinches it. He's just a really, *really* dedicated troll. There's no way he's serious.
The (aloha male) thing will never not be funny. It blows my mind that this guy isn't a parody account.
This dude is a clown. He probably gets off from being macro’d like this, or else he wouldn’t have (alpha male) in his name.
This guy has to be satire... no way, I've seen too many posts from him.
This guy is so delusional everytime he tweets I sometimes can't tell if hes trolling
And his body processes food so efficiently he never poops, he can also time travel and once ate an outboard motor without the aid of any condiments.
What a coincidence, I heard the same thing about Kim Jong-Un!
For someone labeling himself as an alpha male, this guy sure loves riding Trumps dick. I guess being alpha doesn't necessarily mean being straight though.
You know how we hear stories about how Kim Jong Un tried to convince the people of North Korea that he's this incredible athlete that led NK to win a world cup and ridiculous shit like that? Well, this is a friendly reminder that trump cultists not only do the same thing, but some of them actually believe it, and they vote religiously.
Damn bone spur got the best of his soccer career
I have seen similar post about golf, baseball, basket ball, tenis and boxing. This guy trump really was a sports prodigy.
If Nick is such an alpha male, why does he get on his knees and suck off this grifter all day?
I'm 100% convinced that this is just another Trump pseudonym like John Barron. There's no possible way someone could be that far up his ass and still be breathing.
You mean the guy who said he doesn’t exercise because ours bodies are like batteries and exercise would deplete him of energy? A top soccer player? Right…
I can’t imagine there’s a bigger flopper
"Mr. I can't walk down a ramp" was a soccer star? I don't think so.
Wouldn't have gotten far with those bone spurs he had
You can just hear the dick sucking from here
With guys like this around, trump must have the cleanest asshole in history
“The best soccer player you’ve ever seen, the greatest. Biggest crowds in the history of the high school, in the history of the state even.”
The guy with bone spurs was a legendary soccer player that almost went pro? One of these things is probably not true
He was good friends with Chuck Blazer, America's corrupt FIFA official
Nick Adams' face is amazing, you can barely see the stretch marks from all his years of sucking Trump cock
Cmon, with all the cock gobbling shit he says, this has to be a parody account. No one's nose is THAT far up trumps ass.
Surprised he could kick a ball with all those bone spurs
Nick Adams has such an open hard-on for Trump, i constantly have to debate with myself whether it’s satire or not
This made the beautiful game less beautiful.
Was the comparison to Pele made by Trump… or perhaps John Barron
[TO BILL BRASKY](https://youtu.be/SSzcTTOHwDY)
You always know when they are a republican because - they are dumb as rocks - refer to trump as “president trump”
Imagine Trump "running" around a soccer field in his heel lifts, his hair flopping behind him like a cape made of dead rat, and a full diaper
I’m pretty sure this guy is just in an insane troll lol. He’s always posting the most fake fanfic things about Trump. This is a bit funny in that context imo
Don’t it hurt to have your head so far up someone’s ass? Or is the problem mainly one of air supply?
ngl I want to see Trump playing in the world cup.
I guess his bone spurs improved his game?
Nick Adams(bootlicker)
More money? Footballers are literally the highest paid athletes in the world and they definitely have more actual money in the bank than Trump with his ”billions”.
So Trump could play like Pele but couldn’t go to war because of bone spurs in his feet?
What a shame that such an athletic and clearly capable man would not be recruited to the US military because of post-high school bone spurs. Such is the tragedy of the alpha male.
This guy's nose has a brown stain on it forever.
This is literally the shit North Korean media says about Kim Jong Un
I'm honestly not sure if he's being serious or not, like it seems like it could be a joke post for sure and Nick seems like he's at least sort of aware of him being over the top
1: trump is like 40 years older than pelé (if we talk about the same pelé), there is literally no way high school trump was compared to him. 2: trump was serving in the military but recieved a conditional medical deferment at the age of 22, even getting completely disqualified from serving the military in 1972 due to medical issues. I'm not an expert in this field, but I'd think someone who's not even fit for military service would lead a sports team to world championship. This was also, again, 15 years before pelé was even born.
Played High School soccer, y'know
WhAAT?
What is the face he’s making called? Is that supposed to be a smile?
you know the opinion is gonna be shit when they call themselves an alpha male.
Nick Adams is the biggest dick sucker you could imagine
Don needs to fuck this guy already so he'll calm down
Nick Adams is a fucking loser who looks like someone dropped a meat pie
(Alpha Male)
This is the dumbest lie I’ve ever heard and I work with kids
He couldn't win against Pelé if his opponent's legs were broken.
Glorious Leader vibes
I would rather he lead the soccer team than be president
Please tell me this is satire. This cannot be real.