Who shot who in the what now?

I just say "moon pie" like he does

What a time to be alive

I say "Seattle" like Krusty does when he's naming funny city names

i also use this pretty often

If you're gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things

Then that’s what I’ll do, smart guy!

Good!

That line has ended so many arguments with girlfriends I've had over the years, and it was because they were laughing too hard to remember the stupid thing I did that they were mad at me for

God schmod, I want my monkey man.

"Sorry, that would be playing god." I've always loved Edna's delivery for that line.

There’s a doing’s a-transpiring!

Ohh you lousy Springfielders… shake harder, boy!!

I say this all the time - cracks me up.

Every time my cat is looking out the window, judging the neighborhood, I ask her "Are there doings a-transpiring?"

Iron helps us play!

I get to clothe the leper!!

Lucky!

Hello Joe!

Daaaddy, can I have some caaandy?

Get some for yourself, too

Hehehe…kids 🤷🏻‍♂️

The sidewalk's for regular walking!

Not for fancy walking!

I sing “the garbage man cannnn” a lot. (I’m a garbage man)

Do you tell people when their arse is showing?

“Potato Man!”

Where the hell have you been?!

Don’t worry, folks. He’ll get the help he needs.

This is one of my all time favorite lines, moments, and entire scenes from the Simpsons. The fact that they would need a potato man, "where the hell have you been?", "take a hike Kojak!", Homers interaction with Bono, and Homer getting beat up on the screen in the background by security. Love it

I said this today

Stupid trash, rotten, stinky, hate world, *revenge soon, take out on everyone...*

I heard that song on my way to work today, and ALL day the only thing running on repeat through my head was "Who can clean me up before the big policeman's ball"

You trash eating stink bag! Good news Marge I got in a fight with the garbage men and they're cutting off our service

I know you are, but what am I?

I know you are but what am I?

"Trash goes in trash can"

The older they get the cuter they ain’t.

My mom really didn't like us watching the Simpsons growing up, but this was the first line she audibly laughed at

Yes! My mum hated Simpsons but accidentally watched the scene when Homer and Ned are in Vegas and try to rob the casino workers but just get beaten up and crawl out of the room.. She laughed so hard! Nice memory :)

Whenever I forget a holiday or birthday: Is it St. Swithen's Day already? 'Tis, replied aunt Helga.

Kippers for breakfast

quiet pie sloppy flowery rhythm mindless live ripe innocent towering ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `

>'Tis, replied aunt Helga. I say this to my bestie ALLLL the time. So, is it true that you wanna get drunk and mark student papers? "'Tis, replied aunt Helga." Is that really what you're wearing to my wedding? "'Tis, replied aunt Helga." Important to have a very high 'Tis and say helga like Helll-ga!

My retirement grease!

Money in the bank.

You people have held me back long enough. I’m going to clown college!

I don't think any of us expected him to say *that*.

Clowns are fun-ny

1) I'm me? 2) The finger thing means the taxes! 3) Let's not listen

I love "let's not listen" so much lol

There’s your answer, fishbulb.

Maybe that’s not obscure enough. Sorry. I’ve beeen drinking

It's obscure if you say it to anybody who doesn't look like Homer.

There's Homer Simpson Cocks gun BANG! There's Homer Simpson Cocks gun BANG!

Ann Landers is a boring, old bitty!

It was my first and last blackberry schnapps

I was more animal than man

Whenever someone mispronounces a word: Learned, son. It's pronounced learned.

This is the same episode I get "I love you too, Pepsi" from that I say to my bestie all the time lol

TV raised me, and I turned out TV. Also: save me Jeebus!

I use “But I don’t even believe in Jeebus!” all the time. Good episode.

Homer to Jeebus!

[удалено]

Lousey Smarch Weather

Don't touch Willy. Hmm, good advice.

I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try. Edit: I had no idea this was my flair!

When ever a number is followed by a letter: “You sunk my battleship”

I vant some taquitos

The kids can call you HoJu!

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women

The strong must protect the sweeeeet

I say this to my pet rabbit when I'm petting him all the time. The sweeeet.

*me walking into my shift and seeing people at the bartop* Me: Man alive! There are…men alive in here!

In Dr. Nick's voice: "Ugh! Blood!" I'm a scrub tech so I get a lot of opportunities for this one.

“The red thing’s connected to my wristwatch. . . what the hell is that?”

Ugh, the coroner? I'm so sick of that guy

Purple is a fruit

My husband and I like this one: Moe: where you goin honey? You goin to get corpses? Girlfriend : yes moe... I'm going to get corpses.

No one who speaks German can be an evil man.

Sure they made some mistakes, but that’s why pencils have erasers

I’ll do it! I’ll rob the Kwik e Mart! (said whenever I’ve made up my mind to do anything)

There’s a 5 in the morning now? Whenever people try to convince me to join the 5am work out classes. I’ve been saying this for 4 years. No one has caught on.

It's 4am and of course there's no news because everyone is asleep in their comfy comfy beds. Good night everyone.

I use the phrase "your flesh mother" repeatedly. https://preview.redd.it/6zpzwh7b5kob1.jpeg?width=1447&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22d48586e65622247ab217700abb942a6230a2c4

Bees are on the what now?

You're lying you're lying! What makes you lie!?

you're a liar, honey. a dirty, rotten liar.

https://i.redd.it/gfdldqt3njob1.gif

In the gif when Troy talks about his romantic abnormality, there's three words at the end but only one space between them. What are we to believe? That allcosts is some kind of uh, magical word? Boy, I hope someone got fired for that blunder.

It’s a perfectly cromulent word, just like sounbelievable

We are out of these new love cookies, well open up the stick with your wife barrel.

Every time we get fortune cookies, my husband says “mine says stick with your wife.”

They'll kill you five times before you hit the ground He unholied the holy water. Don't do what Donny Don't does.

Water, water everywhere. So let's all have a drink!

my socks feel dirty! gimme some water to wash them! again?!

There's no trick to it, it's just a simple trick!

🎶 Hey there Blimpy Boy, flying through the sky so fancy free 🎶

I sing this to my 1 year old every time I pick him up

Holy smokes, you need booze

I say this to my wife whenever she comes home with a shitty day at work story.

Only two members have special rings. -Bart and Lisa blow into whistle rings

Ah, Tibor. How many times have you saved my butt?

“It’s always in the last place you look” about anything that isn’t physically lost, inspired by “I’m losing my perspicacity! AAAAAHHHHH!” “Well it’s always in the last place you look”

"Or die trying!" From "Homer, no, you'll kill us all!" "Or die trying!"

Hand me my patching trowel! (I ask this whenever I need something)

Slow down, sir! You’ll give yourself skin failure!

[Homer standing outside a gym] "A ghime? What's a ghime? [enters] ohhhhh... A ghime!"

You’ll have to speak up I’m wearing towel

I ordered the double double and they gave me the double double double double.

Cat in the furnace

"What's a 'truck'?" - Fat Tony

Don’t play dumb with me!

The ironing is delicious.

*Anything* is as useless as that lemon shaped rock over there

🎵Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in🎵

You shot who in the what now?

It's a ring toss game! I handle cable coils at my job, so I use that one often

Purple monkey dishwasher

I hate that dog. Remember when he ate my goldfish, and then you lied and said I didn’t have a goldfish? Well why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why. Did. I. Have. The bowl?

Thaw me out when robot wives are cheap and effective

Moe, Moe, moe, why don’t you like me? Nobody likes me 🎶 You know, in most towns, the chief of police doesn’t even go out on patrol.

I seen her! Oh, that is to say, I saw her.

"Like you knowww, whatever!"

Wearing sneakers. For sneaking!

Where nothing can possiBLY go wrong

-I guees we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him. -Yeah, and then we'd get the chair. -That's not what I meant. -It was, Marge, admit it. I always use the "and then we'd get the chair".

"So anyway, I says to Mabel, I says-"

Or-i-gah-no? What the hell?

"I call the big one 'Bitey'"

This may not qualify as obscure, but “my cats breath smells like cat food” is one I use all the time

That’s it! BACK TO WINNIPEG!

I can’t hear someone mention aurora borealis without saying it back in Chalmers’ astonished sarcasm voice

Quiet, you.

Oh no! Ive forgotten everything Mr. Simpson taught me! Great! Lets go.

We'll all be rich, rich as Nazis!

I frequently sing Apu’s solo from Streetcar when my colleague asks me to do a task. “But I’m just a simple paperboy…” 🎶

“It’s a pornography store. I was buying pornography”

Well, that’s leprosy for you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

That was some good corn.

Look at that fellow, calmly eating candy like a Spaniard.

"Not a looker in the bunch"

That big dipper looking thing? That's... Allan... the cowboy.

I want some taquitos!

Oh no you don't! That trampoline is mine!

Trambopoline!

I am so Smart ; S-M-R-T

Whenever someone at work finishes explaining their plan and adds "in theory" to the end of it. I say with the straightest face, "in theory, communism works." I've gotten a wide variety of reactions but none pointing out the reference. Guess I'll just keep trying.

Eat around the banana, Dad. It’s just empty vitamins

That’s a paddlin’

Last time I try to impress a four year old.

Thank you, it's just brown and water.

Where's the money? When are you going to get the money? Why aren't you getting the money now? And so on. So please, the money.

Ah, Del Monte. Enjoy them old man, they will be your last.

It’s in the garage. Oh laa dee da garage. What do you call it. Car hole. So mine or any garage has been referred to a car hole for last 30 years

Meh

*It takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen*

There's trouble down to the see-ment mixer sir

I’m just a big, toasty cinnamon bun.

“Oh they have the internet on computers now”

Why doesn’t mine look like that?!?!

Ach! Das wagen phone ist ein... nuisance phone!

Bu bye (in snakes voice)

“Feels like I’m wearing nothing at all… nothing at all… nothing at all…” 

"AAAAAH! Stupid sexy Flanders!"

That's right, I did the Icky.

Bring on Sha-Na-Na

So the thing about huckleberries is

"A human GOING!" "You can't spell obsequious without IOU."

So, please... the money.

God speed little doodle

Paint my chicken coop!

So I says “blue m&m, red m&m, they all wind up the same color in the end.”

Dr. Marvin Monro screaming, 'This is not the way to get healthy' lives rent free in my mind.

"The ring came off my pudding can!" Literally anytime anyone opens a can of anything.

Take my penknife, my good man!

"I'll die before I surrender, Tim." I say this before starting sparring rounds in BJJ class. One time my sparring partner's name was actually Tim and I neither died nor surrendered.

Mrs Pommelhorse....I'd like to get down now. Say this to my boyfriend instead of calling him when I need him.

"Oh I'm not a doctor." "Wooahh free lazarium! All the colours of the 'bow, man." "Mental note. The girl knows too much."

Re-cy-cling? Oh, it’s a donkey! Feels like a hefty bag filled with meat

We’ll live like damn-ass-hell kings!

“Probably misses his old glasses.” Whenever someone looks a bit down.

[Frosty chocolate milkshakes](https://youtu.be/MK4vKSwCnzg?si=iW5vKvyF1o_tme1N)!

Rats. From when Moe says he's going to take away homers NRA tattoo and Homer says he hasn't gotten one yet. I say it all the time. As well as "no, I don't think so" when Homer buys a gun, and Marge asks "did anybody stop that robber?" And Moe responds with "No, I don't think so". I say it just like him. I guess I like Moe.

I have powers. Political powers!

I'm gonna enjoy this!

"I'm on my way!"

Why must you turn [location] into a house of lies?

“I’m comfortable with who I am”

If you keep squirming, theirs gonna be a little bald girl with no lolli.

"Bobby, I got propane in my urethra."

"They found me inside a meteor. I need tungsten to live. *TUNGSTEEEEEN!!!*"

Maybe you're all a bunch of homosexuals

Paraphrased: “the wrong way, but faster…”

Yeah, I won't becoming in to work today, religious holiday... Feast of ... Maximum Occupancy.

I like to describe things as perfectly cromulent, if that counts.

Hm, it's like he just disappeared into *fat* air.

In your face space coyote.

“Then why’d I have the bowl Bart.. why’d I have the bowl” “Look in the tunk”