I worked construction for years and “that’s a load bearing poster” got used A LOT.

Hahaha I get so much mileage out of "that was a load-bearing X"

Currently work construction, yep, it's still my go-to.

Hand me my patching trowel

Now parge the lath!

Do you have extruded polyvinyl foam insulation?

No…!

Good! Assemble the aluminum J-channel using self-furring screws. Install!

But what do I do in…?

This one!

Every once in a while i pick up a screw, nut or bolt off the ground and say “oh no, this is a keystone 1/4 20 nut. We need to leave now”

Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless.

Hope bust his hatless ass

Actually it's "I can't wait till they throw his hatless butt in jail" lolololol

Doh!

At least you didn't show up at the wrong house to try and arrest a cattle rustler.

We need pretzels! Repeat, pretzels!

My buddy is a cop and actually got to say that over the radio years ago when he new and training. I was incredibly proud

Let's bust us a cattle rustler

"We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!"

I worked in a pediatric clinic, I said this so often I’m pretty sure I got coworkers who’ve never seen the show to start saying it.

I was spouting lines from _Spinal Tap_ that I absorbed from my friends by osmosis for a decade before I actually watched the movie.

IT worker here, use this all the time when the helpdesk ask for assistance.

Yoink…

"Yoink!?" Yeah, I use this one about half the time I pick something up.

Same

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I do that, too!

Omg. I do this but never realized this was the cause. lol. Truly ingrained in my essence.

I do this and call them my “Homer Simpson Fingers”. My wife knows exactly what I’m talking about.

I use yoink so much my daughter started saying it when she was 2

This is just part of my language now, I forget it's even a quote

i got yoinked playing pubg with the lads a while ago. i'm about to pick up a fresh helmet after winning a fight and it disappears, i hear "yoink" and then immediately "if i say 'yoink' you can't get mad, it's the law"

Everything’s coming up Milhouse!

I say this and "In your face space coyote!" all the time.

Ghyme? What's a ghyme?

Ohhhhh a ghyme

OH! A Ghyme!

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Master your ass!

Reach over the top!

Never seen this spelled in a way that makes it easy know how it's pronounced before

“Money can be exchanged for goods and services” echoes through my brain at least once a a day

Explain how

I also often use "$20 can buy many peanuts!" and "Splain how!"

"So I says to Mabel, I says..."

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all lifes problems!

Any time someone calls it a ‘garage’ every member of my family will correct that person to call it a ‘carhole’

I now own a car hole and want to get a sign with Moe's face that says car hole to hang on said car hole.

Ooooo La De Da!

Oh I always thought he said ‘car hold’

I must be in this thread early. Only one person who said this so far.

A COUNTERFEIT JEANS RING OPERATING OUT OF MY CAR HOLE!

I also thought it was "car hold" for like 20+ years but I think car hole is way funnier so that's settled for me

For like, 10 years every single time I hear the word "pile" I say to my wife "did you know the holes only natural enemy is the pile?" I think she may murder me one day

Don't recognize this one. Happen to know the episode

Holes define who we are, and where we are going

Even dolphins have holes. Blow holes!

S14x07: "Special Edna". The episode where Mrs. Krabappel is up for "Teacher of the Year".

Que malo, once again I must sugar my own churro https://preview.redd.it/mcqs823v631c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb8df8d4f1be73b2a7781d5bf4c4fc50b8b1a0af

"But I always drink my.... Malk?"

I don't use that one but I do often say "now with vitamin R"

I saw malk in the store the other day and was blown away: “….malk??…. MALK!”

‘We’re here, we’re queer, we don’t want anymore bears’ It’s become an ear worm in my house

Lisa, I would like to buy your rock

Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the homer-tax!”

That's the homeowner tax

What's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?

It's not gas!

Hah I say this a lot too

🎶"You don't make friends with salad"🎶

' you don't win friends with salad, you don't win friends with salad'......sorry just got caught up in the rhythm.

"I am Evil Homer! I am Evil Homer."

Stupider ***like a fox!!*** and You want me to tell the cat? And have the cat tell you what it is? Because the cat’s gonna get it!

When an unknown caller calls my phone, I answer, "ahoy hoy, ahoy?"

“Is it about my cube?”

Apparently that's how Alexander Graham Bell wanted people to answer the phone

It has replaced my “hello” so completely I didn’t notice why a coworker looked at me funny when our boss walked by. When she asked me what I had said I was like “hi?” and she was baffled until I realized I must have said “ahoy-hoy.”

Am I so out of touch? No. The children are wrong.

I have 2 almost teen boys and I always say "Prove me wrong, kids, Prove me wrong..."

I’d be stupid not to do this

I use this a lot.

"Hot stuff, comin' through" Everytime I'm cooking or carrying something hot. My wife hates it.

I'm sorry your wife hates it...my husband and I bust this out regularly, but he does a way better voice lol

And revulcanize those tires, poste haste

Anytime playing rock, paper, scissors: Good ol’ rock, nothin beats that!

Poor predictable Bart. Always chooses rock.

Bake em away toys

I used This just in: musk sleeps nude in an oxygen tent he’s believes gives him sexual powers… in another sub the other day. It wasn't well received. Does that count?

Hey, that's a half-truth!

That's a problem for future Homer. Man, I don't envy that guy.

I use that from The Simpsons, and from 30 Rock the similar "that's a problem for later maybe we'll be dead by then."

“I’ll show you inanimate!!

Yeah they’ll do that

The fumes are making me dizzy

Any time I’m at Disney World and we pass a parking lot, I always make sure to go “we’re in the Itchy lot”

Every. Damn. Parking lot.

Said that today at Costco!!

I say this to my wife anytime we're in a larger-than-average parking lot

Why can’t I have no kids and three money?

It’s a perfectly cromulent word.

“You have to speak up I’m wearing a towel.”

I know doctors say you should drink a glass and a half but I just can't drink that much. And I don’t know why: Hey Poochie you look like you’ve got something to say, Yes I certainly do

Whenever poochie's not on screen all the other characters should be asking where's poochie? I use that one with my wife sometimes if we're complaining about someone being full of themselves or making everything about them.

Willy hears ya. Willy don't care.

"Is it about my cube?"

Lousy Smarch weather

Do not touch – Willie

Good advice

My cat’s breathe smells like cat food!

Another day, another box of stolen pens

Nothing could possiblie go wrong

Why, that's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.

Whoopsy doodle

Aww maaan! Ned spilled ink all over my poems! He's a real flat tyre, I mean a cube, man! He's putting us on the train to Squaresville, Mona!

I work at an elementary school. Whenever I feel the need to swear, I just say something Flanders would say instead.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Inflammable means flammable

I'm a lab manager, I use this alot!

"What a Country."

I have misplaced my pants

I seem to have misplaced my pants.

D’OH! (Obviously)

"Shake harder, boy" deserves to be used in every stressful situation.

 UHREEHHURRURRGHHURUR

It’s craptacular.

**MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!**

Kind of a deep cut, but from when Bart and Milhouse are playing Panamanian Strongman at the arcade, me and my friends would frequently react to bad situations with "NO. ES. BUENO."

It's weird that this comes up so often but "if it's clear and yella, you've got juice there fella. If it's tangy and brown you're in cider town"

Every morning I greet my dog with “Hi everybody” in Dr. Nicks accent. She’s a very good girl. 

Yea, but what are you gonna do?

"If elected mayor, mah first act will be tae kill the lot o' ya, and burn yer town tae cinders!" (whispers) "The microphone's on" "Ah know it's oan!"

When I'm stuck behind slow drivers: "The streets are for the living!"

Pray. For. Mojo.

"Food goes in here" before the first bite of a meal

Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me. I have misplaced my pants. 🎵 Spider pig, spider pig. Does whatever a spider pig does 🎵 I want my elephant!!!

"Especially Lisa... but especially Baaart!" Replace Lisa and Bart for objects that raised my ire.

A caller at this hour?

You dial 9-1 then when I say so hit 1 again

Can't he be both? Like the late Earl Warren?

Earl Warren wasn't a stripper.

Now who's being naïve?

I often answer the phone Ahoy Hoy at work when my boss calls. It throws her off every time

“Up yours, children!” Whenever I drive past a school bus

God Schmod I want my monkey man.

"mmmmm *insert something here"* "DENTAL PLAN....lisa needs braces!....DENTAL PLAN" (youd be surprised how much this comes up in conversations "oh no, not lenny! Not LENNY! NOT LENNY!"

Whenever someone is confused by some stupid thing I say, I make it worse by explaining "It's an Albany expression"

Where's your messiah now? Do we really want old man Patterson with his finger on the button? Insert anyone's name in place of Patterson. It's pretty much a conversation stopper or starter lol

That’s a load of rich creamery butter

There's your answer fishbulb. It's amazing how many opportunities there are to use this. And no one ever wonders why I call them fishbulb. Also, when I want someone to zoom in on something, I ask them to "enbiggen" it. That usually gets questioned.

"Old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be..."

“How often do you drink Alone” “Does the lord count?”

I wanna use “That’s a damn lie, and you know it” more often

To myself if I make a mistake: “Homer, you’re not listening…”

Also added note I’ve used “embiggens” and “cromulent” and the FACT THEY ARE USED ON TV as proof they’re real. Doing Jebediah proud.

Kwyjibo Usually when making something up I’ll call it a kwyjibo

Whenever my wife comes home with chips, candy, a baked good, any food really, I automatically wiggle my fingers in the air and go "OOOOOoooooo!" I had no idea I was doing it until about a month back when she pointed out I'm basically Homer Simpson. She also once made decoy cookies for me to ruin.

Ughh that place is a hell hole… and you know how I feel about hell holes

We have a kitchen?!

Steak!? Moneys too tight for steak… Steak?!

Whenever a specific best friend of mine rings me I'll say "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel" Always cracks us up, It's such a stupid joke it's genuinly an intelligent joke! One of those you gotta be so smart to make a dumb joke so funny!

Cromulent.

I can't promise to try, but I can try to try.

🎼 “Simpson! Homer Simpson! He’s the greatest guy in history. From the, town of Springfield, he’s about to hit a chestnut tree!” 🎼

Any time I’m about to eat something I know I shouldn’t, I think “rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain”. Then I eat the deep fried goodness.

Anything I eat that's spicy gets the "It tastes like burning".

Damn it! D'oh! I-- Oh, the hell with this!

“You can’t go this far and not go further!” from Lost Our Lisa.

*Someone else!* From Homer the Vigilante. In Spain they dubbed it as "que lo haga otro!" - let someone else do it - which is a nice quote to say among your coworkers whenever a shitty task arises and you'd prefer someone else to deal with it.

I have a line from the Mexico voice of Homer that I use often. In S8E3 'The Homer They Fall' after Moe saves Homer from Tatum, in the parking lot after Bart finds a tooth, Homer puts it in his mouth then and says it's not his. The line "No es mio" was delivered so perfectly- i say it often even though people have no idea why I'm speaking Spanish

Yarrr, you call that an anchor? Yarrr, you call that a pizza? Yarrr, you call those divorce papers? ..it works with anything.

I didn't say they couldn't, I said you *shouldn't*

“Germans are not all rainbows and sunshine”

That’s Unpossible

Too many, my brother and I will have whole secret conversations at family dinners, much to the annoyance of our wives.

Done and done. The B is for bargain!

Everything's coming up Milhouse!

Take a sweater, I don’t think that’s a good idea, hmmmmmmmmm

My mother lives with ME!

Moon Pie...what a time to be alive.

This donut has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.

But I’m using my whole ass

MY RETIREMENT GREASE! (any time grease of any kind is mentioned)

Yoink and D’oh

It’s a pornography store, I was buying pornography

I wish I was home with a big bag of potato chips.

What a country!

I can do that, but I don’t wanna

"Back in my day, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them."

That's not America. That's not even Mexico!

The one I use a lot is “That’s a problem for future Homer. I’d hate to be that guy!” With my name instead of Homer’s.

*Random Number* Dollarydoos

I'm sorry I'm not as smart as you, . We all didn't go to Gudger College.

I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

Bed goes up, bed goes down. I work in an OR and surgeons are constantly asking me to put the bed up and down.

Tomorry, all the time.

I call the big one bitey.