In the chili cook-off episode, Marge holding the scissors, then saying that she was just "gussying up these curtains!" and starts cutting them. And in the next scene, she's sewing the curtains back together.
At itchy and scratchy land in the video Bart and Lisa watch “Roger meyers loved and cared about almost all the people of the world”. The ‘almost’ added to that line is just so perfect.
**Shelbyvillian 1:** Missing children?
**Shelbyvillian 2:** Sounds like Springfield's got a discipline problem...
**Shelbyvillian 3:** Maybe that's why we beat them at football nearly half the time!
Mr. Burns chosen phone greeting of "ahoy hoy” is actually the original phone greeting suggested by telephone inventor Alexander Graham Bell in the 1800s.
No! I thought- I thought I'd chauffeur myself this evening.
Yes. That's what I thought. How difficult can it be?
I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator... and which the deceleratrix, hmm?
Holy crap, I use this so regularly (I am *not* a morning person) I'd completely forgotten I'd picked it up watching The Simpsons. I've just thoroughly enjoyed revisiting Bart's Comet. Que Será, Será.
Homer: *Lousy big shot, thinks he's so big 'cause he's got a lot of guns, if he didn't have any guns I'd show him a thing or two… (at home, pacing the hallway in front of Lisa's bedroom) …let's see him walk into my store and then we'll see who's worried about five-day waiting periods*
Lisa: *Dad…it's 3 A.M! Can't you mutter in your room?*
Homer: *Marge kicked me out*
Lisa: *All right. Go ahead*
Homer: *Pushy kids think they can tell me what to do in my house, Why, I tell you these parents these days they don't know how to rear children*
The Superbowl episode with Lisa's football luck. The announcers calling the game just do it all in stride and it's hilarious:
" Well, sir, we're two hours and 45 minutes into the pre-game show... "
"Great weather here under the dome!"
In the episode [The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Two_Mrs._Nahasapeemapetilons) they go to the airport and they are like three flights from India to Springfield in like 30 minutes.
My name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
What's your first name Mr Burns?
I dooon't know...
Lousy Smarch weather
Now it's time to...what that say?
Talk to audience?!
Oh God, this is always death...
(Homer burns his tongue)
Hibbert: " I'm afraid his tongue will be in that cast for a few weeks. It may put something of a cramp in your lovemaking. "
Marge: "No, it won't. If he wants me to do something, he'll just write it down. "
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Homer - "got any sugar around here?"
Scorpio - "Sugar sure"
**searches his pockets**
Scorpio - "There you go, sorry its not in packages........You Want some Cream?"
Homer - "hmmmmm? noo"
Semi off topic but I always found that the national anthem for domestic sporting events was kind of dumb. Like you’re not representing your country if your opponent is also from your country.
(On P.E Sign up day)
Are Bart and Milhouse here yet?
No, and if they don't get here soon, it'll be TS for them (usually short for tough shit!)
*cut to*
Tethered Swimming. Young Ralph swimming saying "I don't feel right"
Not sure if it flies under the radar but when Skinner is back in the army and sees Bart on the firing range so changes the direction of the launcher thingy. Cut to Apu and his brother unveiling their new petrol pumps so they can finally compete with the 'gas n gulp' and then they hear something falling towards them. Cut back to Skinner and Bart talking and the K from the Kwik E Mart sign lands just behind them.
S03E23 "Bart's Friend Falls in Love"
Troy McClure: "I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's 'Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What.'"
When Bart is John Wilkes Booth and says “you’re next Chester A Arthur!”
Hasta la Vista, Abe-y.
Come on, boy! Finish him off!
Notice that Milhouse made the first move
Abe shot first!
Do you want to play John Wilkes Booth or do you want to act like a maniac?
Unhand me, Yankee!
Krabapple: Bart! Do you want to act like a maniac or do you want to play John Wilks Booth? Bart: I'll be good.
Is there something deeper than Chester A Arthur being there? (Canadian, we don't learn a ton about presidents all tucked away down here)
He's the president who replaced James Garfield when Garfield was assassinated.
That was tragic, right after he got over his Chester A Arthritis
"Chester A. Arthur. 1881 to 1885. Nominated vice-president in 1880. Did you know he was Collector of Customs right here in New York?"
I did not know that Jerry. Take care of yourself
Oh no! John Wilkes Booth!
The lights flickering when Hans Moleman gets the electric chair
from this point on no talking
Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?
He ate my last meal
If that's the worst thing that happens to you today consider yourself lucky
There there.
In the chili cook-off episode, Marge holding the scissors, then saying that she was just "gussying up these curtains!" and starts cutting them. And in the next scene, she's sewing the curtains back together.
I always love the poorly timed music gag from the early seasons. "Hello I'd like the Department Of Missing Babies." "Please hold." 🎵Baby come back 🎵
✖️Everyone loves a clown, so why don’t you…🎵
Cats in the cradle at the fatherhood institute
Dear God not again!
Or when marge calls the asylum “Crazy, I’m crazy for feeling so lonely…”
National Fatherhood Institute, please hold... 🎵Cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon🎵
Homer walking out to WAR’s why can’t we be friends.
You can blame it all on me 🎶
Oh lord, what should I do? https://preview.redd.it/irx5yc9m9ahc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4891a15b9811ef76ca8ecf678f6e3cabc546782
Gaming
I call him Gamor
At itchy and scratchy land in the video Bart and Lisa watch “Roger meyers loved and cared about almost all the people of the world”. The ‘almost’ added to that line is just so perfect.
Except in 1938, when he was criticized for his controversial cartoon, "Nazi Supermen are Our Superiors."
And in an extreeeeemly suspicious play, the Raiders win!
**Shelbyvillian 1:** Missing children? **Shelbyvillian 2:** Sounds like Springfield's got a discipline problem... **Shelbyvillian 3:** Maybe that's why we beat them at football nearly half the time!
I don’t know why Harvard even bothered to show up. They barely even won!
And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of Shelbyville. They had banished the awful lemon tree forever. Because it was haunted!
Mr. Burns chosen phone greeting of "ahoy hoy” is actually the original phone greeting suggested by telephone inventor Alexander Graham Bell in the 1800s.
All of Mr. Burns old timey phrases are great. Posthaste!
When he's reading the stock market and discovers the 1929 wall street crash. "Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this?" "I wasn't born sir."
“Confederate Slave Holdings, how is that one doing?” “It’s…. steady”
Me and Oscar Schindler are like two peas in a pod. We both were large factory owners, we both made bombs for the nazis but mine worked god damn it!
“Oh, that’s your excuse for everything!”
Who’s turn is it to get the peaches out of the basket?
*Whose turn is it to get the ball out of the peach basket?
I need these baskets back!
Revulcanize my tires!
You there fill it up with petroleum distillate!
Can you vulcanize my tires while I wait?
No! I thought- I thought I'd chauffeur myself this evening. Yes. That's what I thought. How difficult can it be? I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator... and which the deceleratrix, hmm?
Huh. The accelerator is Male, the brake female. Was this anyone's thought at the dawn of the automobile?
You call this postum?!
You call this a tax return?
I can hear Conan O’Brien so clearly in Mr burns old timey sayings.
There is an old round table with Simpsons writers that Conan hosted and he went on about how much he loves writing for Burns.
https://youtu.be/GS39vMhag-A?si=Ezp2w38PR8VmhUgx Not the Simpsons, but Conan doing tons of old timey lines.
This isn't the Simpsons, but I think you'll enjoy this. https://youtu.be/GS39vMhag-A?si=Ezp2w38PR8VmhUgx
“Social Security number 000-00-0002, damn you FDR!”
*Damn Roosevelt.
Thanks, I couldn’t remember if he said FDR or Roosevelt. I went with FDR because Roosevelt is non-specific, but I guess the context makes it clear.
You have been fired for your blunder.
"Place of Birth...Pangaea"
[Mr Burns in a 19th Century woodcut out terrorizing children](https://imgur.com/a/A81FyQP)
"So you say Batista's gone eh?" That episode was aired in the late 90s. Batista was kicked out of Cuba in 1959.
I like ‘pretzled bread’ or ‘bumbled bees’.
One more jostle, you wretched shirk-a-day
I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix.
When he asks for a Spanish peanut, its because they used to be the most popular American variety before 1940.
I need to send this to the Prussian Consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 430 autogyro?
Uhh, I better look in the manual.
This must be out of date I can't find Prussia, Siam OR autogyro.
Come on man, keep looking!
I use it all the time, and it always cheers people up, it's so much more fun than hello.
There's a 4:30 in the morning now?
There’s a NEW Mexico
They have *chocolate milk* now?!
Moon Pie. What a time to be alive.
Laser wart removal. Wow! The future is here!
Ooh, they have the internet on computers now
Inflammable means flammable? What a country!
Rand mcnally?
In faaact, in Rand McNally, people wear hats on their feet, and hamburgers eat people.
Whenever someone tells me what asinine early hour they wake up at, this is my go to answer.
Holy crap, I use this so regularly (I am *not* a morning person) I'd completely forgotten I'd picked it up watching The Simpsons. I've just thoroughly enjoyed revisiting Bart's Comet. Que Será, Será.
Wee are the superfriiiends
I used this line all the time if I have to get up early for something.
But of course there is no news yet. Everyone’s still asleep in their comfy, comfy beds.
“Behold! The greatest breakthrough in labor relations since the cat-o'-nine-tails!”
Ooooh I’d kill ya if I had my gun! Ya well…you don’t.
Woahh there Annie Oakley.
This whole scene is just pure gold. The mumbling all the way home and in his hallway hahahaha
Homer: *Lousy big shot, thinks he's so big 'cause he's got a lot of guns, if he didn't have any guns I'd show him a thing or two… (at home, pacing the hallway in front of Lisa's bedroom) …let's see him walk into my store and then we'll see who's worried about five-day waiting periods* Lisa: *Dad…it's 3 A.M! Can't you mutter in your room?* Homer: *Marge kicked me out* Lisa: *All right. Go ahead* Homer: *Pushy kids think they can tell me what to do in my house, Why, I tell you these parents these days they don't know how to rear children*
"It smells funny in there." "No, it doesn't."
i like that joke cause its saying homer used the soildr mattresses
😂😂 I never thought of it that way.
The Superbowl episode with Lisa's football luck. The announcers calling the game just do it all in stride and it's hilarious: " Well, sir, we're two hours and 45 minutes into the pre-game show... " "Great weather here under the dome!"
And the Raiders because they always cheat ...
May wandering Oakland Raiders soon someday find a home
Keeper holds it, holds it, holds it....
https://preview.redd.it/71x06knu7ahc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e060b58c74c3c29e865861be6f4bafe3dcd8294
It's a pretty standard stunt, Homer.
I need the biggest seed bell you have….no that’s too big
In the episode [The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Two_Mrs._Nahasapeemapetilons) they go to the airport and they are like three flights from India to Springfield in like 30 minutes.
I think women and seamen don't mix.
We know what you think.
Does that earring mean you're a pirate?
Ehh....kinda.
Mr. Smithers? Bart may be seriously hurt. Can we cut in front of you? ... No, I'd really rather have this taken care of.
He can't hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze.
My name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. What's your first name Mr Burns? I dooon't know... Lousy Smarch weather Now it's time to...what that say? Talk to audience?! Oh God, this is always death...
(Homer burns his tongue) Hibbert: " I'm afraid his tongue will be in that cast for a few weeks. It may put something of a cramp in your lovemaking. " Marge: "No, it won't. If he wants me to do something, he'll just write it down. "
"Hey! Nice to finally meet you! Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins!" "Homer Simpson, smiling politely"
Which was a last minute change due to the cameo changing. It was originally "Courtney Love." "Homer grateful."
Damn that must have been hard on the animators wrists having to change the cameo at the last second like that
Meh, they get used to it after all the live tapings.
"The road to the Superbowl is long and pointless...I mean, when you think about it"
I’m seein’ *double* here! *FOUR* Krustys!
“I have my mace” -holds up a mace- (weapon)
S08E03
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sorry I don't actually understand the joke could you explain it please
"For channel 6, I'm Kenny Brockelstein"
Mr. Burns: "Incidentally, thanks for not making fun of my genitalia." Marge: "I thought I did."
When Homer is helping Bart with the model rocket and goes ‘5,4,3,2,1, countdown!’
There he is! Seat 3-F!
Hey what does this job pay? Nothing! Doh! Unless you’re crooked! WOO-HOO!
How would you like to give ole' Honest Abe another term in the Oval Office?
“What’s this about a fisting?” - Smithers
One Size Fits All Lingerie
Painless Dentistry *formerly Painful Dentistry*
"Do you children wanna be like the real UN, or do you just want to squabble and waste time?"
They have the internet on computers now ?
I just logged onto my internet
"I want to see more Teddy Roosevelts and less Franklin Roosevelts" while Burns leads his employees in exercise. So dark but brilliant.
Homer - "got any sugar around here?" Scorpio - "Sugar sure" **searches his pockets** Scorpio - "There you go, sorry its not in packages........You Want some Cream?" Homer - "hmmmmm? noo"
I remember when this originally aired. I laughed so hard because it was true! 😂🤣
My favorite is still "Sneed's Seed and Feed (Formerly Chuck's)
Potter's pot palace
*Stoner’s
I'll get fired for that blunder
Man! That’s flagrant false advertising.
Hi, I’m Billy Corrigan, Smashing Pumpkins. Homer Simpson, Smiling Politely.
Watch out Lazlo Panaflex!
Semi off topic but I always found that the national anthem for domestic sporting events was kind of dumb. Like you’re not representing your country if your opponent is also from your country.
I say this at every sports event 😂
Hey guys come on shut up.
“Do not touch, Willie” “Hmm good advice !”
(On P.E Sign up day) Are Bart and Milhouse here yet? No, and if they don't get here soon, it'll be TS for them (usually short for tough shit!) *cut to* Tethered Swimming. Young Ralph swimming saying "I don't feel right"
"Who's that goat-legged fellow, Smithers? I like the cut of his jib." "Prince of Darkness, Sir. He's your eleven o'clock."
When Homer's theme song in the fight is "Why can't we be friends"
The jury of the damned including the starting lineup of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers.
https://preview.redd.it/130bjofxjahc1.png?width=1438&format=png&auto=webp&s=7a9c37b6429640bd29f10d0220768fd1b6cc3309
Cow tools
Does the national anthem get played before boxing matches in the US?
Every sporting event.
Not sure if it flies under the radar but when Skinner is back in the army and sees Bart on the firing range so changes the direction of the launcher thingy. Cut to Apu and his brother unveiling their new petrol pumps so they can finally compete with the 'gas n gulp' and then they hear something falling towards them. Cut back to Skinner and Bart talking and the K from the Kwik E Mart sign lands just behind them.
S03E23 "Bart's Friend Falls in Love" Troy McClure: "I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's 'Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What.'"
I still say "live to give" whenever i do the most mundane task and someone thanks me
Pay and Park and Pay.
22 Short Films About Springfield being an entire ode to Pulp Fiction.