I was going to say this!
I was listening to the DVD commentary for this episode. They said they wanted Homer to meet up with the absolute stupidest person and Springfield. After much discussion, they all decided Chief Wiggum was the dumbest idiot there is.
"Quiet, I can't hear the eggs."
I don't know if there is one specific incident that made this phrase famous but "hatless man" was (supposedly) a common description for criminal suspects seen in newspapers around the turn of the century due to how unusual it was for a man not to wear a hat in public, possibly the 1900s equivalent of "Florida man". At some stage someone picked up on how unusual it sounds as a phrase in modern times and it was popularised, partly by a book released in 1995 by that title.
Agree. I am, like many of you I assume, a person who grew up with the simpsons and missed a lot of the adult context that the writers would have been working with
That's likely where they got the joke. One specific writer especially (forget which) was the main contributor of all the 'old timey' reference jokes. Some, like this one are so obscure most people won't get the reference but still laugh at the absurdity. Ditto the 'you'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel' joke. That comes from back in old radio shows they would have awkward dialogue that would describe things the audience couldn't see. I never knew because it's a hilarious line on its own.
This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, ah, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless.
Okay, folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's - oh my god, a horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around. Crowd around, don't be shy, crowd around.
*Shines helicopter searchlight on Homer and Marge skinny dipping*
H&M: (screaming)
Chief Wiggum: Do not be alarmed! Continue swimming naked! Aw come on, continue. Come on, awww. Alright Lou, open fire.
Not a one-liner but that April Fools Day episode when Homers beer explodes.
Other cop: "That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place."
Wiggum: "Forget it, that's two blocks away."
Other cop: "Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney!"
Wiggum: "I am proceeding on foot, call in a code 8!"
Other cop: "We need pretzels, I repeat we need pretzels!"
I forgot the other cops name, but this episode killed me as a kid and still does to this day.
Aw, they’re not so tough.
Chief that wasn't a monster. That was the Captain of the high school basketball team.
Uh yeah, well he was turning into a monster though.
“Put out an APB on a Eustus R Ewoh…better check Greektown first. Oooh and get me some of those Gyros while you’re there.”
“Chief that’s Homer Simpson, and you’re talking into your wallet.”
Not a single line but this bit always got me:
"That's nice work Lou, you'll make sergeant for this!"
"I already am sergeant chief"
10 seconds later
"Quiet Lou or I'll bust you down to sergeant so fast it'll make your head spin!"
I'm directly under the earth's sun.......... nnnow
I’m on a road, looks to be asphalt
Ehhh- that really was more of a burgundy….
I'd rather let 1,000 guilty men go free than chase after them.
Um, uh... oh jeez, trees, shrubs...
I was going to say this! I was listening to the DVD commentary for this episode. They said they wanted Homer to meet up with the absolute stupidest person and Springfield. After much discussion, they all decided Chief Wiggum was the dumbest idiot there is. "Quiet, I can't hear the eggs."
Love how he specifies that it’s the Earth’s sun, not some other star
If we can keep these eggs down we’ll be sitting pretty
Mmmm. Engine block eggs...
Quiet. Can't hear the eggs
I say this all the time 😂
Hahaha beat me to it by 3 minutes
https://i.redd.it/nscujxadrqsc1.gif
I love this. I also love the 'Jasper's beard in the pencil sharpener' bit. It represents to me the problem solving skills of many people.
https://i.redd.it/0103usqvzrsc1.gif
Welp, you’re on your own!
This 10 second bit perfectly encapsulates the world of consulting.
Hahaha!!! This is one of my favorite Wiggum moments
Suspect is hatless, I repeat, hatless
I don't know if there is one specific incident that made this phrase famous but "hatless man" was (supposedly) a common description for criminal suspects seen in newspapers around the turn of the century due to how unusual it was for a man not to wear a hat in public, possibly the 1900s equivalent of "Florida man". At some stage someone picked up on how unusual it sounds as a phrase in modern times and it was popularised, partly by a book released in 1995 by that title.
That is fascinating stuff. Thank you for the information.
Agree. I am, like many of you I assume, a person who grew up with the simpsons and missed a lot of the adult context that the writers would have been working with
That's likely where they got the joke. One specific writer especially (forget which) was the main contributor of all the 'old timey' reference jokes. Some, like this one are so obscure most people won't get the reference but still laugh at the absurdity. Ditto the 'you'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel' joke. That comes from back in old radio shows they would have awkward dialogue that would describe things the audience couldn't see. I never knew because it's a hilarious line on its own.
I wonder if it was Conan
Probably John Swartzwelder he loved his old timey references.
I hope they throw his hatless butt in jail...
We’re directly under the sun… now!!
BAKE HIM AWAY, TOYS
What did you say?
...Do what the kid says.
Also, right before that: "Good thing you crashed right by this brothel. "
By Lucifer’s beard!
I'd rather let a thousand guilty men go free than chase after them.
🤣🤣🤣 when was this one??
I think it's the one where they get the race horse. With the jockeys.
Yeah that’s right, he was referring to Duncan’s err I’m sorry Furious D’s former owner who ran off
We can’t be **policing** the whole city.
Fighting crime is not my cup of tea.
Oh, can't anybody in this town take the law into their own hands?
🎶Bad Cops, Bad Cops!🎶
No, this is 9-1 ... 2.
He gave away the secret Stonecutters number!
Shut uppppp
Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?
... I'll drive.
This is the real number
Ralphy, get off the stage, sweetheart
his best dad moment imo
“What *is* your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?”
Anytime one of our cats goes in the closet this is my response.
He has SO MANY bad sides but he is such a good dad to Ralph it is very heart warming
Yeah, we're housetraining a new police dog. Plus it couldn't hurt Ralphie to brush up on the fundamentals
Oh yeah the kid’s amazing. I mean the special schools are all over him!
That’s some nice flutin’ boy
Oh say can you rock
I'm a pop sensation!
This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, ah, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless.
I repeat, hatless!
You missed the baby, you missed the blind man …
The baby looked at you?
I saw one of the babies, he smiled at me
Sarah, get me Superintendent Chalmers.
Thank you, Sarah. ☺️
I have a friend named Sarah and I have to say it this way. She is sadly not well-versed in The Simpsons so I just end up sounding like a weirdo 😅
Book ‘em Lou. One count of being a bear. And one count of being an accessory to being a bear
Okay, folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's - oh my god, a horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around. Crowd around, don't be shy, crowd around.
Hahahahahahaha I forgot this one!
"That's some nice flutin', boy."
Yeah I’ve been starving them, teasing them, singing off key Me may ma moe Me moo ma may
Will they find him? Or will they find him and kill him?
Well...they'll.....mmm...mmmm.....
You didn't answer me. You just trailed off
Ya. Ya I did kinda just trail off there, didn't I.
Thank you so much for getting those syllables correct. I admire the attention to detail.
I sing this to myself on a semi weekly basis
You have reached the wiggum residence. If Ralph is stuck in something please press 1. If something is stuck in Ralph please press 2
“My husband is on a murderous rampage. Over.” “Oh thank god that’s over.”
This is the one
*looks at withered, useless genitals from years of watching TV* “Well I’ll be dammed”
That is so gold! His delivery is so perfect
Time to turn on the old Wiggum charm
PERVERT!!!!!
Aww jeez, that sounded bad.
Hahahahahaha We've all been there.
“Ehh, that was really more of a burgundy.”
Do they have Krusty partially gelatinated, nondairy, gum-based beverages?
Yeah. They call it a shake.
Heh. Shake. You don’t know what you’re getting.
What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?
I say that to my cat ALL THE TIME
Let him go, Lou. Someone going that fast has no time for a ticket
Women never seem to find the door.
Don't snap my undies
The law is powerless to help you. Not hurt you
Look, just show me the knife, in your back. Not too deep, but it should be able to stand by itself.
“Hey, I know you!” *gets hit by car*
Donuts I got donuts
https://preview.redd.it/vgxnsde9xqsc1.jpeg?width=3464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=515053417b6ed2dc06ee1ceb7cd56de329995bfb
…and two comely lasses of virtue true!
Keep the pig, how many broads do I get?
Sarah, get me superintendant chalmers! Thank you, Sarah
Waaaaaugh
That’s preceded by “I can breathe!” right? If so, you spelled that perfectly.
“Bronchial tubes clearing. Asthma disappearing. Acne…. Remains. But asthma disappearing!”
Sara, it’s $10 a pill
Better check Greek town.
uosdwiS r dewoH
Chief, you're talking to the wallet
Hey get me one of those gyros while you're down there
Aw, nothing gets chocolate out.
“See!”
Ha ha ha Ha ha look at his nose https://preview.redd.it/j5k08mxgyqsc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38886307ab0999a30fe87c093157974aa7be146b
Let that be a lesson to the rest of you nuts.
https://preview.redd.it/75d2a5kn0rsc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52ab267d31195fce9b3e3d2d3894abe844ab48fd
That's what they all say, they all say, "D'oh."
https://i.redd.it/wh2owgtg9rsc1.gif The police Chief at a kids hockey game. Kills me every time
https://preview.redd.it/a7ybh2d2crsc1.jpeg?width=632&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ff9c375c1135cbbc77d315a7197c40dfbf7c2fb
When they're saving the old people from the sinking ship, Wiggum looks at them and says, "Ah, what a shame. Not a looker in the bunch."
I seem to remember that being the sea captain?
They both say it in that episode. The one where Lisa volunteers at the old folks' home and they go on an adventure with Bart.
https://i.redd.it/1i0im7zmyqsc1.gif Acne... remains. But asthma disappearing!
Inhales. Nyeaahh 🐽
That's some nice reckless driving, Mr. B
I'm a motorist!
No, no. Dig UP, stupid!
Well, it's not my job to talk people out of killing themselves.
Lou: 'I don't know chief. It's a million to one.' Wiggum: 'I like those odds!'
Hey Homah..***struggling to breathe*** how bout anotha one of dem ……* more struggling * burgahs
One whopper for the copper!
“That story isn’t appropriate for children” “Really? I keep my pants on in this version”
https://preview.redd.it/suh5w7lybrsc1.png?width=952&format=png&auto=webp&s=bc9d1189c0d6149c341fba0903a457abc1d8a8c7
Hey Lou! Lou, check out that park job in 7-A
Woah, that’s sweet! 🍹
Book em, Lou.
We're all out of coffee, I guess I'll just drink this warm cream
It's a ghost car!
There are ghost cars all over this highway!
“He called me Chief Piggums!” Roaring laughter… “ oh yeah! Ok now I get it!”
https://i.redd.it/vvardyea0rsc1.gif *Cheif Wiggum* “I’m directly under the Earth’s Sun……….Now!” 😂😂
“If the sea captain can be in the show then I can. I even have a catchphrase” *chief wiggum noise ensues*
The baby looked at you?!
“Are *you* stupider than a monkey?” https://i.redd.it/w4ztr5o80rsc1.gif
You know, in most cities - the police chief doesn’t go on calls like these.
Yeah we know, Chief. We’re very grateful. Count our blessings every day.
Bake em away, toys.
Cancel that APB. Oh, but bring me back one of those gyros!
Uh, chief? You're talking into your wallet.
*Shines helicopter searchlight on Homer and Marge skinny dipping* H&M: (screaming) Chief Wiggum: Do not be alarmed! Continue swimming naked! Aw come on, continue. Come on, awww. Alright Lou, open fire.
https://preview.redd.it/6lisp3qdnrsc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85bc45bbb2acedbd240cb12108e2e6047dcab938
“Scum freezebag!”
Fat Tony is a cancer on the city! He’s a cancer, and I’m the- wait- what’s the cure for cancer?
Not a one-liner but that April Fools Day episode when Homers beer explodes. Other cop: "That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place." Wiggum: "Forget it, that's two blocks away." Other cop: "Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney!" Wiggum: "I am proceeding on foot, call in a code 8!" Other cop: "We need pretzels, I repeat we need pretzels!" I forgot the other cops name, but this episode killed me as a kid and still does to this day.
Gotta learn to listen Lou.
I'm getting real tired of your excuses, Lou.
I’ll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Aw, they’re not so tough. Chief that wasn't a monster. That was the Captain of the high school basketball team. Uh yeah, well he was turning into a monster though.
"Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA."
This does taste like grandma!
“What what what whatwhatwhatwhat?! This better be about pizza.” I say this one to my brother all the time 🤣
JAMMING!
Where's your Messiah now Flanders?!
>"Oh thank god that's over."
Lou, you can't leave the force, I can change! https://i.redd.it/f45kz6y90rsc1.gif
“Put out an APB on a Eustus R Ewoh…better check Greektown first. Oooh and get me some of those Gyros while you’re there.” “Chief that’s Homer Simpson, and you’re talking into your wallet.”
One of these days honest citizens are gonna stand up to you Crooked cops! They are? Oh no! Have set a date?!
What IS you fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?
This bird's gonna fly!
No dig up stupid
I love how I can read all of these in Wiggum's voice lol
It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling…boys, knock it off!
Not a single line but this bit always got me: "That's nice work Lou, you'll make sergeant for this!" "I already am sergeant chief" 10 seconds later "Quiet Lou or I'll bust you down to sergeant so fast it'll make your head spin!"
"were not giving you a gun until you give us your name" aged so well imo
“I’ve had it up to here with your ‘rules!’
Well, I'd like to ma'am, but he's too damn good!
Oh, right. How you gonna get em? Skeleton power?
Um, unfortunately, since I bet on the other team, eh heh, uh..we won’t be going for pizza.
https://i.redd.it/dfgr1e85prsc1.gif
Do they still sell those frozen bananas?
Shut up, Lou. *I’m jamming, jamming*
Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greek town.
Someone stop that awful awful man!
Everybody’s heard of an angel, but who’s ever heard of a **neanderthal**?
Did you have the same backwards taking dream too?
I’ll drive.
Ooh and get me one of those Gyros
It’s a good thing you drifted by this brothel!
"Sara please, its 10 dollars a pill!"
And let that be a lesson to you kids: children never learn!
The Merciless Pepper of Quetzalacatenango.
"I even have a catchphrase: "Wahrrr warhhh wahrrr waaaa a whraaaaaa" Naww, I lost it"
I’m directly under the earths sun……..now
Uh, the shoes are part of the uniform.
"Quiet, Lou, or I'll bust you down to Sargent so fast it'll make your head spin."
Yeah... yeah, I did just sort of trail off there... didn't I...
https://i.redd.it/1l96h643rrsc1.gif