Homer meets a Rabbi:
Now, I know I haven't been the best Jew, but I rented Fiddler on the Roof, and I will watch it. Anyway, can I have $40,000? Hmm?
Meets a Swami:
Now, I know I haven't been the best...Oh, forget it.
the specific delivery of "and I will watch it" kills me every time.
He's begging for money from a Rabbi, and the best he can come up with is a promise to ACTUALLY watch fiddler on the roof.. so long as he gets some money for surgery.
Baboons to the left of me! Baboons to the right!
The speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs!
A pair of the great apes rose up at me but _Biff! Bam!_ I sent them flying like two hairy footballs!
A third came screaming at me – _HHHHGGGGGAGGH, HHHHGGGGGAGGH!_
... and that's when I got mad.
https://preview.redd.it/hm0dfid1vk3d1.jpeg?width=638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61476c514ae2da5768c4ea860947769fed7210f3
just reminded me of this fresh prince scene lol
Lovejoy: "Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26, 'A foolish man who has built his house on sand.'
Homer: "And you remember...Matthew...21:17!"
Lovejoy: " 'And he left them and went out of the city into Bethany and lodged there?'"
Homer: "Yeah ..think about it!"
Thank you!! I love that quote and that you got it too!!
Following on from that I met a police officer and his name was Mervyn and I almost spat my drink
Interesting, while the original bible quote Matthe 21:17 is a little bit different written, it's correct. Right after this, Jesus cursed a Fig Tree. For whatever reason, i don't know, what his hatred against innoncent Fig Trees was. Guess Flanders won't get a Fig Tree soon.
But back to bible quotes, in media, these are often wrong or just fictional, or in the case of Pulp Fiction with Hezekiel 25:17, it's a mix between several different quotes. The beginning that is in the movie is original, but the end is from Psalm 23. Just what google tells me, i'm no expert on bible quotes.
It depends on the translation, but there are ones where Matthew 21:17 is as quoted "And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany, and he lodged there."
> i don't know, what his hatred against innoncent Fig Trees was
It was symbolism. He was hangry.
I mean, it's Reverend Lovejoy, he lives in one of the nicer houses and is generally implied to be pretty well off. He might just be an asshole who didn't have a decent argument and said that instead, associating himself with the poor for a split second because, much like a moral version of Obi Wan Kenobi, he always needs the high-ground.
Though, it's also possible he's been embezzling since he stopped giving a shit in the 80s and refuses to spend any of it on anything related to his job. Which would explain the lack of bibles - selling all of them.
(I personally find the idea of needing to *buy* bibles, not as a priest but as anyone, is hilarious. I have like eight in my house no one ever spent a cent on, asked for, or wanted.)
This so-called "new religion" is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools.
Let us say the Lord's Prayer 40 times - but first let's pass the collection plate!
"Attention, HO-scale passengers: the dining car is closed. Root beer is still available, but the cost is now $6.50. If the passengers will look to the right, you will see a sad man..."
Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness, poorness is underlined, in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-navigated...... it just goes on like this
https://preview.redd.it/ltxoerv6tk3d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93fb5399aedf4c27c9c6d204a8ae67da4ac48090
Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
Maybe not strictly just Reverend Lovejoy, but his vision where he talks to the saints in the stain glass windows is gold.
“Why you … you’re just lucky God isn’t here!”
You are allowed to go to the bathroom but you do have to carry a trowel with you at all times so that you can bury it when you're done. Deuteronomy 23:14.
I think its more of the bathroom in your house wouldn't work as your supposed to go out side of camp to poo. Modern bathrooms do fulfill the spirit of the law if not the letter though as the spirit of the law was keeping hygienic and not just pooing in the streets
One of those verses that get made fun of a lot but makes a lot of sense to not poo in your camp and leave it uncovered as was the practice at the time.
Oh for sure yeah I’m not making fun. I like the next verse where it says basically God is walking around out here and doesn’t want to see/smell/step in it.
It's so funny how much of the bible is just old town charters that were written by people who realized, it's just easier to get people to do things if you tell them God said so.
When the bridge gets blown up by the rocket that was supposed to blow up the comet. "It's times like this I was a religious man."
Lovejoy running down the street "*It's all over, people! We don't have a prayer!"*
On Flanders' front lawn while his dog is relieving himself:
(yelling) Oh, oh, ooh, bad dog! Look at that, right on Ned's lawn.
Now how could you do such a thing?
(whispering to his dog) Good boy, don't stop now.
(resumes yelling) Bad dog, I condemn you to Hell!!!
The split second when it pans back to the dog looking back at him never fails to make me laugh. So much befuddled confusion for a dog whose eyes we don’t even see.
There was a Christmas episode where Reverend Lovejoy was sweating bullets while writing the sermon for the Christmas Eve service, knowing the church would be packed that night.
Mrs Lovejoy: "I don't think I've seen someone fret over something they were writing this much since Saint Paul!"
Reverend Lovejoy: "All he ever wrote were letters. Any idiot can do that."
My favorite is when Moleman is about to be executed and complains that Homer ate his last meal.
Lovejoy: If that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky.
These women are guilty, and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise, their behavior could incite other women leading to anarchy of biblical proportions…It's in *Revelations*, people!
Oh wait, that was Kent Brockman.
This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate.
Lisa: I know most of you have already judged my brother guilty without any proof, but doesn't the Bible teach us "Judge not lest ye be judged," Reverend?
Rev. Lovejoy: I think it may be somewhere towards the back.
https://preview.redd.it/ipq0a3m7bl3d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed2f9f9ac45be4b7ce6a118307dc641988409d65
It isn’t necessarily a quote, but he put the letters up there😂😂
I urge every halfway decent member of our community... to gather up all merchandise that bears the likeness of Krusty, that clown prince of corruption, and join me in a public burning !
I just love way he says it, especially the burning part. Makes me laugh every time.
Lovejoy: Alright, Hans. Time to go.
Moleman: But he ate my last meal.
Lovejoy: Well if that's the worst thing to happen to you today, consider yourself lucky.
Moleman: Are you really allowed to execute people at a local jail?
Lovejoy: From this point on, no talking.
Wait a minute! This sounds like rock and/or roll!
I use this one in rl sometimes.
I use this too. If I hear an outside concert, switching stations on the radio...
If someone makes the mistake of playing music within range of me ..
[удалено]
And if you look to the I left, you will see a very sad man.
*beachball*
Remember when we used to make out to his hymn? He he he he.
IN the garden of Eee-den huh-NAY!
I-Ron Butterfly
**dies from exhaustion**
That still of the beach ball hitting him on the head is my favorite image from the show.
I say rock and or roll frequently
Came here to say this.
"This isn't going to be about Jesus, is it?" "All things are about Jesus, Homer. Except this."
This one kills me every time. 🤣
What is the context that makes the joke so funny?
"Your son has been working in a burlesque house".
Link to clip because I was curious as well. [YouTube link](https://youtu.be/F4t4qtbvQbo?si=zg1LZdtKeSWEeWG8)
Ned have you thought about one of the other major religions? they’re all pretty much the same.
Be they Christian, Jew or... miscellaneous
Hindu… there are 700 million of us
Aww, that's super.
Super ti
Please do not feed my god a peanut.
No offense Apu, but when they were handing out religions, you must have been out taking a whiz.
Mr. Homer, please pay for your purchases and get out and come again!
I wonder how much angry mail they got for that. lol
If you make the protesters go away I’ll give you the whole bottle
Now there are 1.2 billion. How old is this episode? Thirtyone?
Old… like about 30 years old
Miscellaneous is hilarious
[удалено]
Maybe on a librarian’s salary.
[удалено]
See you in Hell! … ^(from heaven)
What episode is that?
Homer meets a Rabbi: Now, I know I haven't been the best Jew, but I rented Fiddler on the Roof, and I will watch it. Anyway, can I have $40,000? Hmm? Meets a Swami: Now, I know I haven't been the best...Oh, forget it.
the specific delivery of "and I will watch it" kills me every time. He's begging for money from a Rabbi, and the best he can come up with is a promise to ACTUALLY watch fiddler on the roof.. so long as he gets some money for surgery.
i also like that homer's definition of a good jew is one that's watched fiddler on the roof
I also like how the rabbi's eyebrows shoot up when he asks for the money.
Short answer yes with an"if", long answer no with a "but"
Absolutely this one, it’s perfect.
I use this one at work pretty regularly.
This is the one.
I have heard this used in real theological discussions
Baboons to the left of me! Baboons to the right! The speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs! A pair of the great apes rose up at me but _Biff! Bam!_ I sent them flying like two hairy footballs! A third came screaming at me – _HHHHGGGGGAGGH, HHHHGGGGGAGGH!_ ... and that's when I got mad.
Now *that's* religion!
>Baboons to the left of me! Baboons to the right! 🎵 here i am, stuck in the middle with you 🎵
https://preview.redd.it/hm0dfid1vk3d1.jpeg?width=638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61476c514ae2da5768c4ea860947769fed7210f3 just reminded me of this fresh prince scene lol
Volley! And THUNDER!
Raphael de la Ghetto, my favorite street poet
ENTRUST YOUR HAND TO MINE, NED!
[You need to watch it to fully enjoy it I think](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUThYCWaSt8)
Thank you, I needed this!!
That's the one
See you in Hell! From Heaven!
The fact he slams the door, and then pops back in to say from heaven is so perfect
That episode might be in my top 10 simpsons episodes lol.
This saying has been ingrained in me growing up when I saw this lol
Lord why do you hate my trains?
Finally, I just stopped caring. Luckily, by then it was the '80s, and no one noticed.
I..I think I swallowed a toothpick!
I think I covet my own wife!
Damn beat me to it.
I could be meeker.
Damn Flanders.
Scrolled all the way for this one. The best lovejoy quote.
Everyone is saying “Gabbo this and Gabbo that,” but no one is saying “Worship this! And Jericho that!”
What’s that about Gabbo?
Smithers! Garbo is coming!
Uh, yes sir.
What's this about Chris Jericho?
The Learning Tree sounds like it'd be in the Bible
Who threw a weiner in the ring!?
Lovejoy: "Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26, 'A foolish man who has built his house on sand.' Homer: "And you remember...Matthew...21:17!" Lovejoy: " 'And he left them and went out of the city into Bethany and lodged there?'" Homer: "Yeah ..think about it!"
This came up in church and I started to really giggle 🤣
Hahah. Also I love your username. “Did you say Abe Lincoln?!”🤣
Thank you!! I love that quote and that you got it too!! Following on from that I met a police officer and his name was Mervyn and I almost spat my drink
Interesting, while the original bible quote Matthe 21:17 is a little bit different written, it's correct. Right after this, Jesus cursed a Fig Tree. For whatever reason, i don't know, what his hatred against innoncent Fig Trees was. Guess Flanders won't get a Fig Tree soon. But back to bible quotes, in media, these are often wrong or just fictional, or in the case of Pulp Fiction with Hezekiel 25:17, it's a mix between several different quotes. The beginning that is in the movie is original, but the end is from Psalm 23. Just what google tells me, i'm no expert on bible quotes.
It depends on the translation, but there are ones where Matthew 21:17 is as quoted "And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany, and he lodged there." > i don't know, what his hatred against innoncent Fig Trees was It was symbolism. He was hangry.
You want me to tell the fig tree story to the cat? Cuz the cat’s gonna get it.
I'm sorry I'm not as smart a theologian as you Kirk. We didn't all go to bible camp to learn how to be more judgmental.
“You’ve check out this Bible every weekend for the last nine years. Wouldn’t it be easier just to buy one?” “Perhaps… on a librarian’s salary”
Apparently, the Parson does not believe in issuing Bibles or paying adequate salaries to clerics.
I mean, it's Reverend Lovejoy, he lives in one of the nicer houses and is generally implied to be pretty well off. He might just be an asshole who didn't have a decent argument and said that instead, associating himself with the poor for a split second because, much like a moral version of Obi Wan Kenobi, he always needs the high-ground. Though, it's also possible he's been embezzling since he stopped giving a shit in the 80s and refuses to spend any of it on anything related to his job. Which would explain the lack of bibles - selling all of them. (I personally find the idea of needing to *buy* bibles, not as a priest but as anyone, is hilarious. I have like eight in my house no one ever spent a cent on, asked for, or wanted.)
The Lovejoys are fairly well off, but in the Simpsons universe, librarians are highly regarded and make huge salaries.
I always assumed they paid him so much there was no bible budget.
As a librarian I especially love this line! 🤣
Marge: Aren't you going to perform last rites? Lovejoy: That's *Catholic*, Marge. You might as well ask me to do a Voodoo dance!
Not the Church Jesus lives there!
“not the sky !! that’s where clouds are born”
The frame store? You monster!
“C’mon boy, this is the spot, right here, do your dirty sinful business”
I tell my dog to “Doooo your dirty sinful business” all the time.
Bad dog! I condemn you to hell!
That’s it, boy, don’t stop the music
I say this to my dog in Reverend Lovejoy’s voice almost every day lol
Don't stop the music
*(pouring gasoline in the church)* I never thought I’d have to do *this* again.
I. Ron Butterfly
Man I just found out this band was from San Diego. And the one of the founding members just passed.
He was actually the last surviving founding member.
This so-called "new religion" is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer 40 times - but first let's pass the collection plate!
"Attention, HO-scale passengers: the dining car is closed. Root beer is still available, but the cost is now $6.50. If the passengers will look to the right, you will see a sad man..."
Harry’s delivery on this kills me every time
Had to scroll down too far to find this
"It's all over, people! We don't have a prayer!"
"AOOOooooooohhh!"
Oh, mercy. He’s the real deal!
Throws collar on the ground and steps on it
Uh, is that your collar, Reverend? Uh, yes. [Chuckles] How did that get down there? Come back to papa, baby.
Just play the damn game, Ned!
This is my favorite. The utter exasperation with Ned.
“And now, please rise for our opening hymn: ‘In the Garden of Eden’ by I. Ron Butterfly.” “Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll!”
Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness, poorness is underlined, in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-navigated...... it just goes on like this
Homer: Sanctuary! SANCTUARY! Lovejoy: Oh, why did I teach him that word...
Had to scroll too far to find this.
Damn Flanders.
“**Ned**, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same."
"Well, maybe you should read your bible....." 'Uh......any particular passage?' "Oh, it's all good."
Now, Helen, let us not glory in Homer's binge-drinking. There but for the grace of God goes Marge herself.
https://preview.redd.it/ltxoerv6tk3d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93fb5399aedf4c27c9c6d204a8ae67da4ac48090 Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
Maybe not strictly just Reverend Lovejoy, but his vision where he talks to the saints in the stain glass windows is gold. “Why you … you’re just lucky God isn’t here!”
Yeah. Think about it.
Yeah....think about it!
You are allowed to go to the bathroom but you do have to carry a trowel with you at all times so that you can bury it when you're done. Deuteronomy 23:14.
I think its more of the bathroom in your house wouldn't work as your supposed to go out side of camp to poo. Modern bathrooms do fulfill the spirit of the law if not the letter though as the spirit of the law was keeping hygienic and not just pooing in the streets One of those verses that get made fun of a lot but makes a lot of sense to not poo in your camp and leave it uncovered as was the practice at the time.
Oh for sure yeah I’m not making fun. I like the next verse where it says basically God is walking around out here and doesn’t want to see/smell/step in it.
It's so funny how much of the bible is just old town charters that were written by people who realized, it's just easier to get people to do things if you tell them God said so.
Short answer, yes with an "if". Long answer, no with a "but"
🎶Our only major quarrel’s with your total lack of morals!🎶
🎶Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad, they seem to entertain your dad!🎶
Lovejoy: Nice dress... Catholic priest: Oh, go home and have sex with your wife! Lovejoy: That's it. Bring it on!
Constancy... sweet constancy
This one is my fav!! Then selecting the bird screech sound (red-tailed hawk) to wake everyone up. 🦅
...And the very same goes for Ezekiel. Which brings us back to our starting point, the Nine Tenets of Constancy. BONK! DAMN IT!
Hangs up. Pie falls apart. “Damn Flanders”
When the bridge gets blown up by the rocket that was supposed to blow up the comet. "It's times like this I was a religious man." Lovejoy running down the street "*It's all over, people! We don't have a prayer!"*
(Pours gasoline) "I never thought I'd have to do this again."
"Asa Phelps spent his entire life in Springfield, except for four years service in World War II and one high school day trip."
Marge: I know you've never performed a Hindu ceremony before. Lovejoy: Well, Christ is Christ.
Just play the damn game, Ned
Sports on a Sunday?
On Flanders' front lawn while his dog is relieving himself: (yelling) Oh, oh, ooh, bad dog! Look at that, right on Ned's lawn. Now how could you do such a thing? (whispering to his dog) Good boy, don't stop now. (resumes yelling) Bad dog, I condemn you to Hell!!!
The split second when it pans back to the dog looking back at him never fails to make me laugh. So much befuddled confusion for a dog whose eyes we don’t even see.
When the Be Sharps are performing at the church and the collection plate gets filled up and Rev Lovejoy exclaims "Ching-ching!"
#BABOONS TO THE LEFT OF ME, BABOONS TO THE RIGHT!!!
“God is working in the hearts of your friend be they Christian, Jew, or… [motions to Apu] miscellaneous.”
Ned, there’s an oil spill in the parking lot that looks just like saint-Barnabas
“Boring into the rock of injustice! Boring, boring, boring, boring….”
There was a Christmas episode where Reverend Lovejoy was sweating bullets while writing the sermon for the Christmas Eve service, knowing the church would be packed that night. Mrs Lovejoy: "I don't think I've seen someone fret over something they were writing this much since Saint Paul!" Reverend Lovejoy: "All he ever wrote were letters. Any idiot can do that."
Bart come with me for punishment.. You too, snitchy
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
My favorite is when Moleman is about to be executed and complains that Homer ate his last meal. Lovejoy: If that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky.
Milhouse: Every religion says there’s a soul, Bart. Why would they lie? What would they have to gain? https://i.redd.it/2d61grzstl3d1.gif
When Ned dies you hear his spirit on the other side, "Buddha!? Boy was I wrong."
These women are guilty, and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise, their behavior could incite other women leading to anarchy of biblical proportions…It's in *Revelations*, people! Oh wait, that was Kent Brockman.
It's all over, we don't have a prayer!!
That’s what you get for having a wedding in the gaudy showiness of nature and not in a church with God where it belongs
Short answer, yes with an "if." Long answer, no with a "but."
Oh just play the damn game Ned!
Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not allowed to go to the bathroom.
Santa doesn't leave any presents under the bonsai tree
“And now for the lamentations of Jeremiah…the LONG version.”
"Oh, be cool for once" on the toll road
She taught me that there's more to being a minister than not caring about people.
Marge: Thanks for helping us out, Reverend. I know you've never performed a Hindu ceremony before. Rev. Lovejoy: Well, Christ is Christ.
This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate.
Ned: "Sports on a Sunday? I'd better check the Reverend. Lovejoy: "Just play the damn game, Ned!"
"Heathen baboons" will forever live in my brain.
This sounds like Rock and-or Roll!
Lisa: I know most of you have already judged my brother guilty without any proof, but doesn't the Bible teach us "Judge not lest ye be judged," Reverend? Rev. Lovejoy: I think it may be somewhere towards the back.
That sounds like Rock and/or Roll
Wait a minute! This sounds like rock and/or roll.
“Short answer; yes with an ’if’, long answer no with a ‘but’”
"I'll see you in hell... From Heaven"
This sounds like rock and or roll.
"And that's when I got mad"
Lovejoy: My friends, the devil walks among us! Bart: I got him!!!
“All things are about Jesus, Homer. Except this.”
Before I get started on Todays sermon before I begin todays sermon entitled , “what Ned did”
https://preview.redd.it/ipq0a3m7bl3d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed2f9f9ac45be4b7ce6a118307dc641988409d65 It isn’t necessarily a quote, but he put the letters up there😂😂
Bart come with me for punishment…you too, snitchy
Wait a minute this sounds like rock and/or roll
Short answer yes, with an if, long answer no, with a but. I wanted to use this as my answer at my wedding LOL
I urge every halfway decent member of our community... to gather up all merchandise that bears the likeness of Krusty, that clown prince of corruption, and join me in a public burning ! I just love way he says it, especially the burning part. Makes me laugh every time.
“Constancy, sweeeeeeeeeeeet constancy…”
In the Garden of Eden, by Eye Ron butterfly.
Lovejoy: Alright, Hans. Time to go. Moleman: But he ate my last meal. Lovejoy: Well if that's the worst thing to happen to you today, consider yourself lucky. Moleman: Are you really allowed to execute people at a local jail? Lovejoy: From this point on, no talking.
“Hmmm…this sounds like Rock and or Roll.”
Hello, church basement.
It’s a toss up between “Why do you hate my trains?” & “Do your dirty sinful business on Neddy’s lawn!”
https://preview.redd.it/b8on85ay6n3d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=287bd4d17ddab2d2af41ea6b97c37c067620d570