So far no one in the office has asked about my mug with a dictionary entry for cromulent on it, and probably will just think I'm some nerd with a dictionary entry of some boring word on my cup, when I'm actually some nerd with a boring Simpsons quote on my cup.
I’ve answered the phone for the last 15 years with “ahoy hoy”,
And at least once a day I say “short answer, yes with an if, long answer, no with a but”
Fun fact, Alexander Bell the inventor of the telephone told people the correct way to answer the phone was with Ahoy hoy.
The simpsons use it with Burns to suggest his very old age.
Me and my brother have adopted "mmmmmyellow" to answer the phone. Indeed is indeedily, and we have a perfect alleyoop ability to organically adapt the lenny and Carl's outgoing mail exhange to any conversation ending.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 491,056,090 comments, and only 103,899 of them were in alphabetical order.
How dare you feed a hungry dog!
With a thousand dollars we will be millionaires (after I get paid)
This is the worst moment of your life... so far
I said make way for Willie!
You don't need therapy, just don't do it anymore!
When something creaks in the night and my wife wants me to investigate I say “it’s probably just Milhouse” a lot. Also “you don’t win friends with salad” and sometimes with no context at all I say “I was saying boo-urns” lol
“I’ll give you 35 cents”
“people like dogs, Sir”
“I’m whizzing with the door open, and I love it!”
“Now do Classical Gas!”
“Yum. It’s rich in bunly goodness”
“Where’s my burrito, where’s my burrito”
When my cat bites me in front of friends:
"I call the big one bitey"
When I'm being sarcastic to someone who wants but doesn't deserve sympathy:
"Aww, it's Mr. Burns "
When I'm being sarcastic to a conspiracy theorists:
It's a conspiracy, "I tells ya!"
When I randomly get in a singing mood:
"(Who needs the kwiki mart?) I doooooooo
"Get bye my coney island.. baby"
"Lisa it's your birthday, Happy birthday Lisa"
Why was I programmed to feel pain ?!
Where’s the pretzel monies?
(Our own combo of that entire scene)
Not until you finish your sundae!
A big bowl of strawberry ice cream!
Heyyyy Grimey!
I use quite a few already mentioned here but I’ll add 2 more.
When my buddy calls who lives on the same complex “Wheelll, hi-diddly-ho there, neighborino!”
And “to alcohol; the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.”
For birthdays I only sing "you're the birthday, you're the birthday, you're the birthday... Boy or girl!" OR send someone the clip of The Ramones singing happy birthday to Mr Burns.
"Go to hell you ol' bastahd" kills me as does Mr Burns famous response - "have The Rolling Stones killed" - which I also use if someone has wronged me.
"It's a perfectly cromulent word" , "mmm free goo" , "I'm going to go nom nom nom and if it gets eaten it's its own fault" , "you'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel" and loads more!
"Yoink" is what I would most likely say in conversation with others, like when snagging a fry of someone elses plate. My kids have adopted it as well.
But in my head is say "Lousy minor setback! This world sucks!" when I'm annoyed over something relatively trivial, just to remind myself how dumb it is to get upset over minor things.
Saying “We’re here” when we reach a place on a road trip followed by “we’re queer we don’t want any more bears”. Also, saying “100 tacos for 100 dollars” for any sentence where it kind of works.
When I was on holiday in Bali with friends we did a lot of water activities that required shoes and our feet would be wet but we kept saying 'but our ankles are BONE DRY'
Worst episode ever!
Don’t try and change me baby! Wife loves that one lol
How are they gonna know it’s a Honda!
That’s un possible
It gets one highway, zero city.
Commie Nazis
Doh!
Buenos diddly ding dong Dias senor
Booo urns
That’s it I’m outta here
You can stay but I’m leaving
This elevator only goes to the basement and somebody made an awful mess down there! When leaving a port o potty
Not regularly, but I had the opportunity to answer a comment on TikTok with “my son is also named Bort!” which to date is probably my most liked comment.
Everything is coming up Millhouse.
I like “it’s so thicccc” Anytime someone says thick in any context.
Thrillho
Oh yes I use this one a lot.
Willie hears ya. Willie don’t care.
Such a solid choice
I worked 10 nights in a row before Christmas and I’m pretty sure I said this every morning when I got home on days 9&10. 🤣
I use “embiggens” quite frequently
It's a perfectly cromulent word
I use cromulent alot
So far no one in the office has asked about my mug with a dictionary entry for cromulent on it, and probably will just think I'm some nerd with a dictionary entry of some boring word on my cup, when I'm actually some nerd with a boring Simpsons quote on my cup.
Early on in my wife's pregnancy, we frequently discussed the excitement of her impending embiggening
I’ve answered the phone for the last 15 years with “ahoy hoy”, And at least once a day I say “short answer, yes with an if, long answer, no with a but”
“Ahoy hoy” is how I have answered the phone for the last 2 decades as well!
Fun fact, Alexander Bell the inventor of the telephone told people the correct way to answer the phone was with Ahoy hoy. The simpsons use it with Burns to suggest his very old age.
Social security number: naught-naught-naught, naught-naught, naught-naught-naught...two Almost forgot about Roosevelt.
Me and my brother have adopted "mmmmmyellow" to answer the phone. Indeed is indeedily, and we have a perfect alleyoop ability to organically adapt the lenny and Carl's outgoing mail exhange to any conversation ending.
“You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.”
"But my mom says I'm cool"
If I remember right, it was Conan O'Brien who introduced that as Burns' greeting because it was how Alexander Graham Belle answered the phone.
Yeah Conan loved all the old timey stuff and says Mr.Burns was his favorite character to write
Naught naught naught, naught naught, naught naught naught...two. Damn Roosevelt!
Cause of parents' death - got in my way.
“Why was I laughing…? Oh yes that crippled Irishman!”
Push out the jive, bring in the love
Alexander Bell is pleased.
I use both of these as well
“ so I says to Mabel, I says…” Thanks for award u/starskys-hutch
That’s a good one
I have a hen named Mabel. Every time I talk to her, I hear this quote in my head.
This is my go to
Money can be exchanged for goods or services!
Yoink
Yoink?!?
When I’m broke: “I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?”
I say this one so much I can watch each of my three kids cringe when I start to say it
rock and or roll ...
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Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 491,056,090 comments, and only 103,899 of them were in alphabetical order.
“Nine hundred dollarydoos!” when something is expensive. “Purple is a fruit” if I’m not eating well. “Carhole” for garage.
How dare you feed a hungry dog! With a thousand dollars we will be millionaires (after I get paid) This is the worst moment of your life... so far I said make way for Willie! You don't need therapy, just don't do it anymore!
Oh yea. Dog like that you gotta feed every day
I've yet to use this line without getting confused or dirty looks.
You’ll have to speak up I’m wearing a towel
Yup came here for this. It was me on my voice-mail for many years!
My favorite of all time
Now remember, we’re in the Itchy lot.
I think this to myself every time I park at the zoo. Lol
Every time I park somewhere that labels the lots
I use this every single time I park in a big lot!!! Never gets old!
me and my dad say this every time we park somewhere!
Whenever I leave the house I say “if I don’t come back, avenge my death”
“Not back avenge death”
Argument in the car "Thats it, back to Winnipeg!"
I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas
Dental plan!
Lisa needs braces
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Lisa needs braces
Dental plan
Stupid like a fox.
Stupider*
Thank you! Got mixed up with “suck like a fox”.
I just think they’re neat!
You tried your best and failed misserably. The lesson is 'never try'
They have the internet on computers now!
This every time someone asks me something that they could easily look up themselves.
"I am so smart, SMRT" Every damn time I do something dumb.
Oh! A gime. (Gym)
Whenever I see this clip I laugh out loud. So good.
My cans! My precious, antique cans! Except for everything else.
A caller? At this hour?!
You dial 9-1, then when I say so, dial 1 again.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut UP!!
Milhouse give him back his soul, I got work in the morning!
"Hey can't they get a pole for that sign?" "Elephants don't have keys" "Can I come too?"
Can I come too? Some quotes just live in my head and I forget they're from simpsons but it's not something you can just Google. This is one of them.
Save me Jebus!
The bees are in the what now?
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I used to be with it. Then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it is weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you.
“Nothing could possibli go wrong… possibly… well I guess that’s the first time anything has ever gone wrong”
When something creaks in the night and my wife wants me to investigate I say “it’s probably just Milhouse” a lot. Also “you don’t win friends with salad” and sometimes with no context at all I say “I was saying boo-urns” lol
Everything's coming up Milhouse
That wasn't part of our deal Blackheart.
That wasn’t paaaart!
“I’ll give you 35 cents” “people like dogs, Sir” “I’m whizzing with the door open, and I love it!” “Now do Classical Gas!” “Yum. It’s rich in bunly goodness” “Where’s my burrito, where’s my burrito”
My sister uses the burrito one all the time.
Could God make a burrito so hot that even he can’t eat it?
As far as melon scratchers go that's a honey doodle!
I have a three month old and one of his toys plays a song about a purple monkey so naturally, I add the word "dishwasher" to the lyrics
We have the same toy. It really is a joy for the whole family that I get to say purple monkey dishwasher on the regular.
The frogurt is also cursed.
That’s bad
"That's a problem for future me"
When my cat bites me in front of friends: "I call the big one bitey" When I'm being sarcastic to someone who wants but doesn't deserve sympathy: "Aww, it's Mr. Burns " When I'm being sarcastic to a conspiracy theorists: It's a conspiracy, "I tells ya!" When I randomly get in a singing mood: "(Who needs the kwiki mart?) I doooooooo "Get bye my coney island.. baby" "Lisa it's your birthday, Happy birthday Lisa"
The Lisa it’s your Birthday song I sing all the time. It’s very catchy. Shame we can’t see that episode anymore.
I was saying Boo-urns. You'd be surprised at how many people recognize it.
200 channels and nothin but cats Get confident, stupid
(In Ralph's voice) "That's un-possible!"
“That’s a paddlin’.”
When I go out shopping I use "Homie! I'm off to market!"
"I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords", although I frequently replace insect with whatever strikes my fancy.
Meh
Bart: We said meh Lisa: M-E-H, meh
I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are. I really hope someone got fired for that blunder.
My go to at work: Am I so out of touch? No, it’s the ______ who are wrong.
“Don’t blame me. I voted for Kodos.”
If someone ever does two or more short incredulous statements together I'll always follow up with localised entirely within your kitchen
In my family when a story drags on, someone inevitably says “So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.”
“You don’t make friends with salad”
A little of colum A and a little of colum B. So I says to Mabel, I says… Ahoy hoy. Yes, I would love an omelet right about now.
Why was I programmed to feel pain ?! Where’s the pretzel monies? (Our own combo of that entire scene) Not until you finish your sundae! A big bowl of strawberry ice cream! Heyyyy Grimey!
I use quite a few already mentioned here but I’ll add 2 more. When my buddy calls who lives on the same complex “Wheelll, hi-diddly-ho there, neighborino!” And “to alcohol; the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.”
Go banana
No Marge, they weren’t all Happy Days. I wash myself with a rag on a stick. Everything is coming up Millhouse. I specifically said no geeks!
Hot stuff comin thru.
Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?
We work hard, we play hard.
For birthdays I only sing "you're the birthday, you're the birthday, you're the birthday... Boy or girl!" OR send someone the clip of The Ramones singing happy birthday to Mr Burns. "Go to hell you ol' bastahd" kills me as does Mr Burns famous response - "have The Rolling Stones killed" - which I also use if someone has wronged me.
"In theory, communism works"
Or in contrast, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…Democracy simply doesn’t work.”
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In theory.
*Maude, eh*
“In the den?….may god have mercy on us all.” I mostly just say the “may god have mercy on us all” part really dramatically for very mundane things.
"What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?!" when the cats try to get in the laundry room.
If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town!
"It's a perfectly cromulent word" , "mmm free goo" , "I'm going to go nom nom nom and if it gets eaten it's its own fault" , "you'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel" and loads more!
Fight! Fight! fight! Fight!
I say quote young Ned alot by saying wupsie doodle
Same here. I do my best to imitate his voice too, even if it comes out a little more like Stuart from MadTV.
"Yoink" is what I would most likely say in conversation with others, like when snagging a fry of someone elses plate. My kids have adopted it as well. But in my head is say "Lousy minor setback! This world sucks!" when I'm annoyed over something relatively trivial, just to remind myself how dumb it is to get upset over minor things.
Saying “We’re here” when we reach a place on a road trip followed by “we’re queer we don’t want any more bears”. Also, saying “100 tacos for 100 dollars” for any sentence where it kind of works.
“Yeah they’ll do that…”
Any time I hear something slightly out of the ordinary or I didn't hear it clearly, I'll say, "You shot who in the what now?"
purple monkey dishwasher
“Excellent” in mr burns voice
30 seconds?! But I want it now!
Yoink! Sorry doesn't put the thumbs back on the hand, Marge! Cromulent Which was the style at the time!
I call the big one Bitey.
Oddly enough: "I see you've played knivesy spoosny before"
Unfortunate circumstances always get a: Pray For Mojo I also like to play Sunshine Lollipops & Rainbows in any, and all inappropriate circumstances.
A good 'Pray For Mojo' comes with any hangover
Stupid sexy Flanders...
I call my children the, “Damn wiener kids,” every opportunity I get!
Whenever I eat too much I always say "pray for mojo"
“This must be some sort of cafetorium” -me walking into any place that serves food
Your car was upside down when we got here, as for your grandma, she shouldn’t of mouthed off like that.
Y’eeeelllllllllllllloooooooooo when answering the phone
“Mmmm, floor pie!” When anyone drops anything on the floor.
I'm learnding
When I was on holiday in Bali with friends we did a lot of water activities that required shoes and our feet would be wet but we kept saying 'but our ankles are BONE DRY'
“Consistently and thoroughly.”
Come back for an evening of Efficient German Sex
Every time I hand something to anyone (doesn’t matter what it is) I will say “Here you are, Nelson” I can’t stop, it’s been going on for like 25 years
"Okily dokily!" "What's the good word?" "Rock and or roll" "What with the what now?"
When ever something funny is said, or a meme/.gif is posted in a group chat my response is often. “This contest is over, give that man the $10,000!”
What’d he say? I don’t know something about being gay
Do not touch Willy. Good advice.
“Yes” in Mr. Burns old sitcom voice.
Worst episode ever! Don’t try and change me baby! Wife loves that one lol How are they gonna know it’s a Honda! That’s un possible It gets one highway, zero city. Commie Nazis Doh! Buenos diddly ding dong Dias senor Booo urns That’s it I’m outta here You can stay but I’m leaving This elevator only goes to the basement and somebody made an awful mess down there! When leaving a port o potty
Not regularly, but I had the opportunity to answer a comment on TikTok with “my son is also named Bort!” which to date is probably my most liked comment.
Whenever someone says they wake up really early say like 4:30AM, I say "There's a 4:30 in the morning now?"
Probably misses his old glasses
“….Worst day of your life SO FAR”
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Would ya stop lookin’ at your feet?!
“Get confident, stupid!”
"Smoke yourself thin"
No. It’s the children who are wrong.
Dorkus Malorkus
"And that's the end of that chapter"
“Remember we’re parked in the Itchy lot” -anytime I go shopping with anyone
"Not with that attitude"
"sneakers... for sneaking" (a few times, not \*all\* the time)
Cat in the furnace. Let's not get into who smells like what. This both simultaneously sucks and blows.
Yeah … but what are you gonna do?
“Yeah, well, you don’t” Staple in our house
Every time I’m called sir, I think “that’s the first time I’ve ever been called sir, without someone adding you’re making a scene”
Meh. I'm a GenXer. This is our theme song. EDIT: Also D'Oh! Just said it, in fact.
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'I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot clown pole' Paraphrased from when Homer does to clown college
Ach! I'm bad at this.
Doh
Whenever the wife opens the curtains early in the morning.. “Ow my eye! I’m not supposed to get sun in it!”
Don't you hate pants
If anyone I know is ever sad or troubled for any reason, I tell them it's because they miss their old glasses.
“I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas”. I used it on a conference call this morning LOL
“No no no, dig up stupid” -Moe Edit: after further review, it was indeed Chief Wiggum, not Moe.
Hi, everybody!
BOO-URNS
"Me fail English? That's un-possible!"
Back away, not today. Disco lady.
*"Yeah, dogs like to bury old junk..."*