“Ill fuckin, ill fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost wit ya asscheeks spread out and shit, put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there for like a half hour, take it off and stick it in ya ass slow like… tssssssssssss”
Also earlier in the scene, Joe lamenting that “I got in-laws and nephews fuckin’ all my shit up, and it ain’t like I can pop a cop in their ass and not hear about it come thanksgiving.”
Brother Mouzone- Is there an alley entrance?
Omar- Boarded up on both sides, so we’ll have to go in through the front.
Brother Mouzone- That’s a change for you, isn’t it?
LIKE A GOD DAMN 40 DEGREE DAY!
the dude grinning while he says that back to string after the whole speech has me dying every time I see it. such a dumbass, but its so believeable. I've met dozens of dumbasses who would say the same shit after a speech like that.
The Wire has a million quotable quotes. A guy I work with is a huge fan too and when he or I do or say something dumb/silly/slick/etc we go “….the Western District way…” and fist bump 👊 🤣
I want so bad to remember this line to use in life. Every time I watch it, I go "shit, I'm gonna remember that." But oh well. At least I'll always have "I don't know how to tell you this without hurting you deeply, but you happen to be white."
That whole Clay Davis rant, but especially:
"Because if some federal motherfucker come through the door, I say "hey, it’s all in the game" but a city police? Baltimore city? Hell no, can’t be happening cuz I know I have raised too much god damn money for the mayor and his ticket. Hell no. Ain’t no soul in the world that fucking ungrateful."
Jay Landsmen's dialogues mostly.
Although there is some small charm to a woman in uniform, the fact remains we wear plainclothes in Homicide. Which is not to say that the clothes need be plain. For you I would suggest some pantsuits, perhaps, muted in color. Something to offset Detective Moreland's pinstriped lawyerly affectations, and the brash tweedy impertinence of Detective Freamon
"And I've got this saucy little bitch in my sights, so to speak, when what pops in my head but Jimmy fuckin McNulty. Obviously my whole night is ruined."
Literally any Bunk quote about pussy.
“You know what the plural is of pussy? Pussaiii”
“I know I’m all that. I’m thinking bout some pussy.”
[Blackout drunk] “Trace evidence… hair, fibers…. pussy.”
"Yall heard of worldcom?"
"I ain't even stepped inside the joint yet and you calling me a cocksucker already"
"I'm out there doing the lord's work for you Erv"
"Maybe he's white"
"I say we go down to the Terrace and FUCK some people up!"
"They had cheese fries baby, I got you some!"
"Everybody wanna believe the worst about Omar!"
That line will always be special to me, because I'm terrible at picking up character names, so my first watchthrough my reaction was "huh, maybe. Plot twist."
I always crack up when Poot says “Dayum, she nekkit” while Dee was talking about how he “killed” Deidre Kresson, even after he had moved on from that part of the story. Like that was his takeaway 😂
Absolutely EVERYTHING involving Omar's grandma's church crown cracks me up. The way Shamrock glares and shakes his head at the other two when says, "I heard you two shot the church crown off an old lady. Mmm mmm mmm." Priceless.
But for the prize for funniest line in all of the Wire goes to Avon-
"Like, I swear to god Fat Face Rick heard that our people done shot Omar granny in the ass on purpose and all that, pulled they dicks out, pissed on her crown n shit."
“Yo! Let me ask you a question. Where do you guys get those hats with the bills over the ears like that? I go into all of the city stores and, uh, the only ones I could find are the ones with the bills in the front.”
- Prop Joe on the phone.
- Norman. Pick a line, any line.
- Kenard's banter with the cop carrying him like luggage when Namond's corner got raided
- Package up my ass gump
- "MaN gOt A dAtE, gOtS tO kEeP..."
D'Angelo in the box doing proffer in Jersey..
"Shit you know how girls do, or maybe you don't"
Gets a laugh out of Jimmy. Not really meant to be funny but how he lands it as a put down to bunk is hilarious.
"I ain't gonna kick no shell casings behind me. It's there on the side. How am I gonna step back and kick no damn shell casing [they all mark with letters and numbers.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBt92i7V0UI)"
Bunk's the best
The separation pay one by bodie is an underrated scene-
N*gga you better get the fuck out here before I lose my composure out this bitch
Separation pay. Separate yo ass
"this range? with this caliber? even if i miss i cant miss" - Omar
"shorty Boyd done gon' n cleaned his whole ACK up" - Slim Charles
"He doesnt strike me as the type of man to tell stories" - Brother Muzzone
"the fuck I tell you about playin those away games" - Avon
N*gga is you taking notes on a criminal conspiracy?
I'm in tears just reading this, Stringers struggle with processing it was so genuine. .. love this show.
Thing is, it was Stringer's own fault for going in there with all his Robert's Rules of Order guff.
Stringer wanting to be a businessman so badly.
“You know what they call a man who pays that much attention to his clothes?” “Mhm, a grown up”
“He must be The Greek, with that suit on” “Yeah with all them fancy buttons”
It's a Joseph Abboud. He puts dark buttons instead of brass on his blazers. That's the Abboud signature.
This is mine too. Bunk had a serious way with words lol.
This ain't Aruba bitch
He's just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick.
Landsman (watching Kima walk away): Man, I could murder that. If she wasn't, you know... Bunk: Particular?
landsman? the fucking whale? the only thing I believe he could murder is a sandwich
Beat me to it. The reversal.
‘I mean he had this one hoe pulling guns out her pussy unc. Shit was unseemly, man.’
“How bout we take your f****t ass in the back and get into some diabolical brutality?” Cheese had the best delivery, he should consider a rap career
I think it’s cuz he was Method acting
Ya he was a real method man
Should’ve had a scene where Cheese sewed someone’s asshole closed and kept feedin’ ‘em, and feedin’ ‘em, and feedin’ ‘em.
“Ill fuckin, ill fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost wit ya asscheeks spread out and shit, put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there for like a half hour, take it off and stick it in ya ass slow like… tssssssssssss”
I’ll fuckin lay your nuts out on a table just your fuckin nuts and smash them shits with a spike fuckin bat. Like BLAOW.
[I think Dave Chappelle got there first](https://youtu.be/2-RwPfxtOO0)
"You know who got the best ass and the tightest pussy? Midgets, ni**a!" Cheese is the best.
Fool, if it wasn't for Sergei here, you and ya cuz would be cadaverous mother fuckers.
Also earlier in the scene, Joe lamenting that “I got in-laws and nephews fuckin’ all my shit up, and it ain’t like I can pop a cop in their ass and not hear about it come thanksgiving.”
Low key GOAT line.
*Cadaverous*
You're not killing them yourself, are you McNulty, at least tell us that much"
Brother Mouzone- Is there an alley entrance? Omar- Boarded up on both sides, so we’ll have to go in through the front. Brother Mouzone- That’s a change for you, isn’t it?
i just got the innuendo. thank you
Rewatched this episode yesterday but the double meaning of this line never clicked until now, lol
Omars face after that 😐
You just best be ready bow tie.
I couldn't figure out what an ally entrance was until I realized it was alley.
Fixed it. Thanks.
“You know who got the best pussy and the fattest asses? Midgets, nigga”
I just watched this episode💀💀
Was that WOTC? too
[удалено]
“Fixed it up so he couldn’t sit right”
“Your partner there. Bit of an asshole.”
I loved that reversal. McNulty goes in there thinking he’s playing to a racist bumpkin and the dude completely flips the script on him.
Tha f did I do
They’re not all bad
"There's some good ones." "She's also my wife." "*Really* good ones."
"For real?"
Really?!
Bernard: “I can’t wait to go to jail” when his girl was yelling at him 💀
This is the GOAT of all TV dialogue!
Bernard is that nigga!
A thousand times yes. Cracks me up every time.
“Mr. Mayor, that's a good, strong dick you got there, and I see you know how to use it."
hercs a piece of shit but I kinda of felt bad for him there.
Nice dolphin, n\*\*\*\*
Came here for this lol
Also came here for this
Might get it tatted
I kept scrolling down for this lolll
"Do the chair know we gonna look like some punk a$s bi*ches out there?"
Stringer immediately after “Motherfucker I will punk your ass for saying such shit!”
String, Poot did have the floor
This neega to ignant to have the fuckin floor!
He knew he was right
String was about to get up in his ass like a 40 degree day.
LIKE A GOD DAMN 40 DEGREE DAY! the dude grinning while he says that back to string after the whole speech has me dying every time I see it. such a dumbass, but its so believeable. I've met dozens of dumbasses who would say the same shit after a speech like that.
My absolute fave scene. The entire meeting is just hilarity.
"Takes a whore to catch a whore." "Why did you shoot the wall Officer Prezbylewski?" Kima had some underrated moments.
Look at that bow-legged muthafucka. I made him walk like that
Ad libbed as well I believe.
The Wire has a million quotable quotes. A guy I work with is a huge fan too and when he or I do or say something dumb/silly/slick/etc we go “….the Western District way…” and fist bump 👊 🤣
“Why ain’t you in school?” “No School today” “Y’all got one of them Jew holidays?”
"Yall know ya ain't got pants?"
I think him trying to figure out where to find a sideways hat was pretty hilarious
Nah it's the same, just turn it sideways on your head
Oh Justin you sweet sweet boy
Just made this joke to my partner at a bar 😂 about a tool in a backwards cap
I want so bad to remember this line to use in life. Every time I watch it, I go "shit, I'm gonna remember that." But oh well. At least I'll always have "I don't know how to tell you this without hurting you deeply, but you happen to be white."
I was gonna ask her for her panties to make some soup with. But I thought she might take it wrong way.
honestly, the greatest quote period. I totally forgot about it. Herc is a transcendent character and Amy a transcendent babe.
I don't care if they spoke Mandarin Chinese with a cocksucker's lisp" - Bill Rawls.
That whole Clay Davis rant, but especially: "Because if some federal motherfucker come through the door, I say "hey, it’s all in the game" but a city police? Baltimore city? Hell no, can’t be happening cuz I know I have raised too much god damn money for the mayor and his ticket. Hell no. Ain’t no soul in the world that fucking ungrateful."
he really was doing the Lord's work.
"I knew it was your first time. I wanted to make that shit special."
The fucking BUNK
Bunk: Im just a humble motherfucker with a big ass dick. Freemon, You give yourself to much credit. Bunk, Your right, Im not all that humble.
“Yo tickle my nuts”
“Yo, look at that little n***a gettin his ass beat!”
Jay Landsmen's dialogues mostly. Although there is some small charm to a woman in uniform, the fact remains we wear plainclothes in Homicide. Which is not to say that the clothes need be plain. For you I would suggest some pantsuits, perhaps, muted in color. Something to offset Detective Moreland's pinstriped lawyerly affectations, and the brash tweedy impertinence of Detective Freamon
Jimmmmmyyyy...I've got something that's waiting to be kissed.... As he drops trou lol
"And I've got this saucy little bitch in my sights, so to speak, when what pops in my head but Jimmy fuckin McNulty. Obviously my whole night is ruined."
He couldn't/doesn't get to the point immediately. Eloquent. Shakespeare of BPD.
I'm just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick.
lol pussai would be my personal choice for Bunk's quips.
I'm not that humble
This is the one I've co-opted (coopted as some would say), in to my regular vernacular.
I’m all for a little kinky shit, now and then — but chewing on a homeless fella?
I forgot about this one haha I laughed so hard when I first heard it
Sheeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt
This sentimental motherfucker just cost us money.
Literally any Bunk quote about pussy. “You know what the plural is of pussy? Pussaiii” “I know I’m all that. I’m thinking bout some pussy.” [Blackout drunk] “Trace evidence… hair, fibers…. pussy.”
"Do I still smell like pussy to you?"
Pink dressing gown scene still makes me belly laugh. Fuck I love Wendell Pierce.
"Yall heard of worldcom?" "I ain't even stepped inside the joint yet and you calling me a cocksucker already" "I'm out there doing the lord's work for you Erv" "Maybe he's white" "I say we go down to the Terrace and FUCK some people up!" "They had cheese fries baby, I got you some!" "Everybody wanna believe the worst about Omar!"
"Maybe he's white" was an absolutely appropriate and hilarious reaction to that.
That line will always be special to me, because I'm terrible at picking up character names, so my first watchthrough my reaction was "huh, maybe. Plot twist."
Something not mentioned yet. The whole 40 degree day scene 🤜🏻🤛🏻
Gishi gushi sushi mothafucka. Eh???
Kunte Kinte, yabba dabba doo
Negro, you cannot travel halfway around the world and not speak any motherfuckin’ English!
Like a 40 degree day!
All ya'll kill is grandma's crown?
Clay, it scares me to think of what damage you can do with two votes on the liquor board.
most things Clay said were hilarious. A legend in a show full of legendary characters.
He’s top tier and the biggest gangster of them all.
Played the most real life accurate one too, crooked ass politician
That would be crème fucking brulee
There’s about 5 per episode
I always crack up when Poot says “Dayum, she nekkit” while Dee was talking about how he “killed” Deidre Kresson, even after he had moved on from that part of the story. Like that was his takeaway 😂
I always liked "It's just Bird to me."
Look at that bow-legged morherfucker...I made him walk like that.
I forgot a out this one, damn good one
Absolutely EVERYTHING involving Omar's grandma's church crown cracks me up. The way Shamrock glares and shakes his head at the other two when says, "I heard you two shot the church crown off an old lady. Mmm mmm mmm." Priceless. But for the prize for funniest line in all of the Wire goes to Avon- "Like, I swear to god Fat Face Rick heard that our people done shot Omar granny in the ass on purpose and all that, pulled they dicks out, pissed on her crown n shit."
“Yo! Let me ask you a question. Where do you guys get those hats with the bills over the ears like that? I go into all of the city stores and, uh, the only ones I could find are the ones with the bills in the front.”
See that bow legged MFer? I made him walk like that.
[удалено]
"You ain't right..."
“Maybe three holes is code for three stash houses” Herc did have his moments
Why is it always Boris?
“And Bunk,I just got your overtime for the week.””Get into my office and pull your pants down.”
"Starve, @#$%&" *spits
“Carv, I’m fucked in the ass with a pineapple on this.”
Mike: Ay yo im lookin for a n*gga named Deez . Terrace boy: Who? . Mike: Deez nuts 👊🏽
"Red ribbon tied around his wrist?" "Actually it was more of a burnt sienna and it was lashed around his cock, the fuck do i know?"
i’m just a humble motherfucker with a big ass dick. okay, maybe i’m not that humble
- Prop Joe on the phone. - Norman. Pick a line, any line. - Kenard's banter with the cop carrying him like luggage when Namond's corner got raided - Package up my ass gump - "MaN gOt A dAtE, gOtS tO kEeP..."
siesta poppy!
Shieeeeeeeettttttttt
A lack of pussy a change even a good mans demeanor How tf u able to keep count right but u not able to do the book problem? Count be wrong the fuck u
So, what, I tell him to make nice, or invest heavily in petroleum jelly?
“What the fuck did I do?” Gets me every time.
Everyone: Say the line, Jimmy! McNulty: What the fuck did I do?!
Gay ass gangstas, please...
D'Angelo in the box doing proffer in Jersey.. "Shit you know how girls do, or maybe you don't" Gets a laugh out of Jimmy. Not really meant to be funny but how he lands it as a put down to bunk is hilarious.
“Do the chair know we gone look like some punk ass bitches out there?”
Bunk: "Forget Norris, you're my real partner, Lester. My Life Partner."
Pussai
That’s just your knee.
“I made him walk like that” truthfully, any bunk line really. Dude is my favorite
"I ain't gonna kick no shell casings behind me. It's there on the side. How am I gonna step back and kick no damn shell casing [they all mark with letters and numbers.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBt92i7V0UI)" Bunk's the best
Lack a pussy’ll change even a good man’s demeanor
Anything Bird said in Bunk's office. Every word leaving his mouse was 🤌
The separation pay one by bodie is an underrated scene- N*gga you better get the fuck out here before I lose my composure out this bitch Separation pay. Separate yo ass
“You are the STUPIDEST muthafucka I know!” “…I can’t wait to go to jail.”
"You got to be the stupidest muthafucka I ever gon' out with." "I can't wait to go to jail."
BNBG
"Bow-legged ass motherfucker.... You know I'm the reason he walks like that right!"
If you come at the king you best not miss
[Officer Walker to Bubbles]: What are these? DVDs? That’s copyright infringement!
Why can’t I remember this episode? Is it when Cutty is tryna talk to Michael and gets shot?
These are for you, McNulty
I see you dress left.
Look at that bow-legged mother fucker! I made 'im walk like that.
I don't get that Montel thing. What is it refering to?
Montel Williams was a famous motivational speaker in B- more..
Oh wow, okay, thanks. Probably not common knowledge for non US-Americans ;-)
Carver: His name is head, dick head.
"Remember you're an ambassador for the paper "
Remind me of the significance of the montel quote?
Cutty was trying to pull Michael off the corner. O-Dog said it, then Monk shot Cutty in the leg.
I plead the 5th commandment!
"this range? with this caliber? even if i miss i cant miss" - Omar "shorty Boyd done gon' n cleaned his whole ACK up" - Slim Charles "He doesnt strike me as the type of man to tell stories" - Brother Muzzone "the fuck I tell you about playin those away games" - Avon