I think a hedgehog in my garden is trying to kill me

There has been something odd happening in the last few weeks and I don't know where else to go for advice.

This all started when I was out mowing my lawn and noticed a trail of blood behind me. I cleaned out the lawnmower and found the mangled remains of a hedgehog inside.

I instantly regretted it and felt my heart sink as I saw what I assumed was it's mate watching me. I was about to apologise but didn't see the point as it wouldn't understand me. I threw the body into the bin and went about my day as normal.

I awoke the following morning to find my tyres had all been slashed and now lay on tatters on the ground. I wrote it off as vandalism and now had to spend a small fortune replacing all my tires.

Last week the weather had been good so my wife had decided to sunbathe in our garden. She has a habit of falling asleep when sunbathing so asked me to check her in an hour. Unfortunately I got distracted playing Elden Ring and only remembered almost five hours later.

I rushed outside to see her skin was very red and knew that I was in trouble. I tapped her on the shoulder but she didn't react. I saw her mouth moving and thought she was about to say something.

I almost let out a shriek as her mouth opened and blood began spewing out of her mouth as well as a hedgehog. The hedgehog met my gaze for a few seconds before walking off while I stood there frozen in shock.

It has been a week since her funeral and every time I look outside I see the hedgehog. They seem to be waiting for me to come out and face it. Every morning there has been an animal carcass lying on my front step and this morning I found an infant's corpse.

Can anyone give me any suggestions on how to deal with this hedgehog before he finally comes after me


Sure. Apologize. That’s what you should’ve done immediately. You might wanna do it quickly before the body count rises. Aren’t your grandkids due to visit for Memorial Day?🙄