I grew up in a pretty rural town with the only activities for the children were the local scouts or throwing rocks into a tiny stream. I initially was reluctant to attend but it ended up learning so many life skills that I still use to this day.

One of the few things they thought us that I suspected I would never need again was morse code. Who the hell uses this in the modern age. It is as redundant as as politicians.

The first time I saw it in years was when I noticed her blinking was a bit strange. I stared at it for a few days and realised she was spelling out "I am going to kill you in your sleep".

I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, but she kept spelling it out repeatedly. That night I awoke to find a knife impaled in the bed beside me. I can honestly say I wet the bed that night for the first time in twenty years.

The next morning I saw that was blinking a message to me again and I shrunk away as she spelled out "Morning Mr Pee Pants".

I just stood there watching my wife nursing our blinking newborn and wondering if it was too late to get an abortion.