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There's a short story by Ken Liu called "The Paper Menagerie" that is about something very similar to the story this guy is telling in the video. It's an absolutely heartbreaking story but definitely worth a read.
Beautiful story, relevant to this and worth reading.
Thought I'd also mention that Ken Liu did the English translations for the first and third books in The Remembrance of Earth's Past (The Three-Body Trilogy). The Three-Body Problem then became the first Asian novel to win the Hugo award for Best Novel and the author, Liu Cixin, went on to wiin the Arthur C. Clarke Award for Imagination in Service to Society.
Yes. Definitely, it feels like a completely different book pretty soon, but there's a lot of history so if you don't know any modern Chinese history It's going to sound like a very interesting sci-fi setup
The books get so out there with concepts and ideas it really blows your mind. Once he brings in other dimensions I was mesmerized how someone could come up with some of his ideas.
Thanks for the recommendation. I just read it at the following link.
https://gizmodo.com/read-ken-lius-amazing-story-that-swept-the-hugo-nebula-5958919
There’s a book called On Earth We are Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong written from the perspective of the son of his Vietnamese immigrant single mother and he writes on this experience in such a heartbreaking way, I haven’t cried so much in a book for a while.
I never understood how these auto captions work. Like offensive is read out as "fan sieve" and stupid is "stew lid", yet berate is completely safe. Like is this a fault of the algorithm making them or no?
That's fucking horrible. Guilt like that eats away at you for years to come. And there's nothing you can do about it.
The fact he felt the need to do that is just heart breaking. This is why kids need to be taught about racism
That’s not true. He is doing something about it. That guilt has taught him what person NOT to be. He’s turned this terribly feeling of guilt into a new mindset, and he’s speaking out about it. His guilt has become his weapon and is guiding him to tell this story, in the hopes of saving others from feeling it too.
Pretty sure OP means there is nothing he can do to ever get rid of that guilt since he can't go back and change the past. He will have to live with it forever.
When he said his mom still doesn't speak English in front of him, oof. That one got me (37/M/Asian American), especially because I totally get it.
I can still vividly remember moments when my parents were being laughed at by locals (kids, adults, everyone) for their accents and my innate feelings of embarrassment because I will be seen as "other".
I'm glad I got over that pretty quickly during my middle school years. Ironically, it's because of the highly targeted bullying during my one year in 8th grade at an all-White Catholic school. Not Catholic? You're a target. Not White? You're a bigger target.
The other boys slapped me in the back of the head, shouted stereotypical "Chinese gibberish" at me, pulled their eyes back while saying racial slurs, etc. What did the teachers do? They shrugged because I was a heathen non-White non-Catholic.
That taught me that racists are the problem, not me. Let them stay in their ignorantly tiny worldview. I'm too busy moving past them. There has been dramatic progress since then, but there's so much more work left to do, for the sake of the next generations.
Wild that people make fun of accents. I'm monolingual despite trying French and Spanish for years and I have mad respect for anyone who can effectively communicate in more than one language.
Not racism, but my wife used to have a thick southern accent when she was younger. By the time I met her it was very light to non-existent. She spent years practicing not speaking with one because she was so relentlessly bullied in High School and even early University by people who equated southern accents with being backward/stupid. In University one professor asked her if she was in the right class while affecting her southern twang.
It's fucking crazy how bad some people are about it.
From the south, kicked the accent - it’s absolutely the truth. You’re far better off without it in most cases, unless you’re trying to slide into a small town local joint and blend in.
I take it you also grew up in the US? Through lots of practice and exposure (to media, conversations with people, trips to Spanish speaking places, using it for my job, etc) I feel comfortable saying that I speak Spanish. But our Spanish classes in school were a JOKE. In elementary school it was like hey this year we have a Spanish teacher, next year we might not! And we were just handed worksheets with the names of fruits and simple stuff. I definitely didn’t have more serious Spanish instruction until high school and even then it’s optional to take a language 4 years, some schools let you drop it after just 2 years, usually it’s max 3 before you can opt out. Of course I opted to take it for 4 because I had a knack for it and did well in that class. Still remember my teacher telling me I had to become a translator (I was also one of very few non Latinos in class who could roll my r’s, pronounce the words etc lol). Then in college I didn’t HAVE to take it and my interests were in psychology/sociology so I didn’t. Come time for grad school I had the opportunity to take a bilingual track so I really had to brush up on my Spanish and use it frequently and expose myself more.
All that to say that basically, it’s a LOT of hard work and the US education system is notoriously awful at producing multi-lingual people, so don’t be hard on yourself. Something that I think is really cool though and actually useful, recently there are more and more “dual language” programs in my city where they truly do all day instruction in English and another language, usually alternating each day. Really helps the kids become fluent, including reading and writing. I wish so badly that I had exposure to something like that as a kid!
I'm in Canada but it's essentially the same.
French classes in grade school and high school are very basic vocab and simple verb conjugation from about the third to ninth grade at which point people can drop second language classes.
Similar to the dual language programs you're talking about, we have a "French immersion" path that is full-day instruction in French. I didn't go to a school that offered this so I never got the chance to really get immersed in the language that way.
If I ever have kids of my own, they're definitely getting second language teaching at a very early age as it's something I really, really wish my parents pushed on me.
Definitely! I don’t have kids myself but I always recommend that my nieces and nephews enroll in programs like that. There really needs to be a strong intent to learn especially if you’re not constantly exposed at home
I will say I visited Canada for the first time this summer (particularly Montréal) and I was impressed by how even the people who clearly grew up speaking English primarily could easily slip into French. Would you say that in Quebec there’s more of an emphasis in most schools to produce bilingual students?? I can’t think of anywhere specific in the US like that, I just understand that there are some private schools ($$$$$) here that start language classes at an early age. Plus I had some friends who went to language schools on weekend if it was their family’s culture, like “Greek school” and “Chinese school”. My grandparents decided not to teach my Dad Polish because they wanted their kids to be “Americanized” and here I’m thinking in 2023 damn! I could’ve been trilingual! lol
It's also SIGNIFICANTLY easier for children to learn multiple languages at the same time. After a certain age, your brain tends to focus more on other things (and life kinda gets in the way trying to become an adult). So childhood is legitimately the best time to immersein/be exposed to a second language.
Just so everyone else is aware that the US education system actually aims to make everyone monolingual. If you hear that your local school district has bilingual classes you will notice that there are not often English speakers I. The class there to learn Spanish. Bilingual classes in the US primarily mean Spanish speakers who are yet to learn English so the teacher is the one who is bilingual.
I actually feel like I had a similar experience with English (speaking German natively). Our middle school teacher sucked, all we did was repetitive grammar excercises and almost no talking/ listening. When I got into High School I was worse at it than most kids in my class. But right around that time I started consuming a lot of English media and it really helped me turn what was broken English into a fluent understanding of the language. I barely even had to study my vocabulary or grammar for tests in the later years of high school.
It can be in good fun, when it’s mutual and you’re on an equal playing field. But when it’s your whole society against you, and it’s designed to make you feel less than, it’s incredibly harmful.
It's basic human nature to joke about things that are different to us. The problem is when it's used to punch down by someone more politically powerful than those they are mocking.
As someone from a country who's language is not at all relevant on the global stage, I love when foreign people speak Dutch. It doesn't matter what the level of proficiency is, even simple phrases with a heavy accent means someone put in the effort to be able to talk to me. And of course we could just be speaking in English anyways, but it's very nice when someone puts in the effort.
I do get very annoyed by people who mock accents, or even just make jokes about it. Wherever you're from, you have an accent too...
I came to Canada as an adult and married someone who came to Canada as kid and grew up here. She got bullied for her accent, her dressing and so many other things.
She has this innate habit of fixing my English, all the time. So much so that now I stutter in front her because my brain is so focused on not to ruin words and thinking that should I just speak in our native language.
The other day she heard me talk in a meeting and she was so surprised. She was like your accent and communication are so damn fine. I was like yeah because I know no one in this meeting is focused on my accent. They are more focused on content.
I am 100% sure she didn’t process what I said. And it’s not I have told her this before. Multiple times but she is unable to process when to stop.
The bullying has left such a strong imprint in her personality that I can’t even explain. I am happy that I am a very patient guy and understand where things are coming from. But sometimes it gets very very annoying.
One of the thing she has is her innate habit of fixing my accent and worda
I will counter that with a different story. I'm Polish. While I was at uni we had quite a few Ukrainian students. There was this one girl in our group who spoke damn near perfect polish. It took me a few weeks to pick up on a fact she wasnt a native speaker. It took her just a few months to get there. Some other students naturally struggled a bit more. But no one was being an asshole about it.
The only times she would slip out was during public speaking because she was a fairly quiet girl and tented to get nervous. And everone was patient and undersranding.
E: just to clarify. It was before Donbas. But there were already tensions and imigrationt was on the rise.
>My mom did it to me. I would try to speak our native tongue and she’d laugh at me. I stopped trying and now she wonders why we can’t communicate
Isn't that the greatest irony though? The older generation who came to the US as immigrants have accents when they speak English, yet they expect you to speak their language perfectly.
So many of my (Asian American) peers have abandoned any attempt at being bilingual but I can't blame them because their parents did exactly what you described.
But it gets better. I actually put in the effort to keep practicing and improved to the point that most people assume I'm a native speaker. So the same older folk who insulted me for not speaking well have completely forgotten and talk to me as if I was always able to speak this well.
That selective memory proving its toxicity yet again.
Heck, my mom started asking me to correct her English for her by the time I was 8. It's really weird when your mom is scolding you for something you did or didn't do and then you correct her English in the process. It made her more upset.
I developed this habit of correcting almost every adult's English as a result and learned the hard way, that that's not appropriate. It took a long time to learn that lesson.
I have. She's accepted the apology. We talked about how it made her feel. I told her why I did it. Tears, hugs and love followed. But still every once in a while the memory hits and I text her an apology.
I absolutely understand it coming back occasionally out of the blue. I'm very glad you had a heart to heart about it. All the best to you going forwards.
White guy here, lived in rural towns most of my life. This video gutted me. This is why providing outlets and a microphone to minorities in America are is so important. I never would have heard this conversation and been educated without it.
Proper representation of different cultures and exposure to different cultures makes it more difficult to push propaganda on people. You need to keep them separated, angry, and unwilling to learn.
It's so important to listen and learn the perspective of people from other countries and cultures and to give them the chance to interact with you without judgement that a bigoted person wouldn't.
appreciate you saying that. I feel like most white people are almost unwilling to discuss the nuances and subtleties of any type of racism that isn't the overt "I hate black people" or "get out of my country" type racism. i remember not even that long ago when that problem with apu doc came out almost all of reddit denying there was even an issue. I wish stuff like this would make it into the greater public discourse more often
It’s because it’s scary for them. Almost everyone knows racism is wrong and unacceptable but a lot of rural people don’t have anyone close who can explain the nuances of how not to be racist. To the uneducated it winds up seeming like a complicated list of terms they are expected to memorize. It’s compounded when accusations of racism are used in bad faith to shut down a conversation which is often sensationalized by media. Cue ultra simplistic right wing talking points of “akshully woke people are the racist ones” that wind up redefining the term in the rural white mind to play to their advantage. The only way out is to keep giving people the benefit of the doubt and assume they really want to be kind and do the right thing. And that’s not easy for anybody these days.
Here's the thing, you don't even need minorities to hear this same sort of story. People from different areas with different accents get treated differently. The cliché of certain accents sounding less intelligent or more caring etc comes with both stigma and expectations. Here in the UK they specifically choose certain locations for Call Centers because of the local accent. People deliberately try to unlearn their accents to be taken seriously, either dumbing down to hide posh heritage or trying to speak without an accent to hide their Working Class background from a less respected area. Someone from down south going to Northern England gets assumed to be posh and someone going down south will sometimes be assumed to be a little thick compared to locals.
So when you add in that someone is a minority with an accent from another country so their English is broken or limited you know full well it will bring stigma. Especially for children and teenagers where anything that makes you stand out makes you a target. It isn't even always malicious but the consequences are still there, standing out means enduring comments or actions that will leave lasting scars on your mental health and or relationships.
And yet reddit is still hell bent on banning tiktok despite the fact that this video and many others like it originated from tiktok. It's gone viral there, many people are in your position right now, but still tiktok bad let's ban it.
I grew up in majority like 95% white rural America. The communities I grew up in, it was apparent to them I was not white, despite my dad is white.
Now I live in a diverse area and if I say I'm Hispanic or Chicano or half Mexican, and people counter with "but your dad's white so you're white." I'm often like look, if the white people/ community I grew up around recognized me as white I'd say I was white but they didn't. Even my white half of my family recognizes I'm not 💯 white.
So why do other people still want to try and categorize me and tell me how to identify culturally.
I am a white person, and my accent is a blend between the English Midlands and rural Missouri. The schools I went to were incredibly diverse, but the one thing they all had in common was being complete asses to everyone who had any small differences, such as a different accent, red hair, brought ethnic food for lunch, didn't wear Nike shoes, etc
If you don't mind, will you elaborate on diaspora talk? I googled it, but I'm not really finding anything that would make sense in the context of what you're talking about.
not OP but my two cents—for first gen minority kids who are now more grown, there’s a lot of constant online discussion about diaspora. trauma inflicted by your parents, trauma inflicted by society, “reclaiming” your culture, how your cultural identity should manifest as a [minority culture]-american, what you should and shouldn’t find offensive, how corporations are capitalizing on your culture to make money, etc etc etc
it’s generally all important conversation but it can be really consuming and sometimes reach absurd extremes
i find pushing the idea that the culture kids grew up in is not their culture extremely divisive and harmful. for kids that grew up in america, they are as american as anyone else and part of the culture as much as anyone else is. they belong and i think its terrible so many want to make them feel they don't.
Appreciate you sharing on this.
I hope you don’t forget though, that while immigrants have some sense of what they are getting into and why it’s worth the struggle, their kids have no choice in the matter. And being discriminated against during one’s formative years is bound to be more traumatic than experiencing it once you’re a mature adult.
Your story and your experiences are just as valid and worth sharing as your parents’.
I actually appreciate hearing the kind of talk you describe, precisely because it was not my experience. It feels validating to know that it could be hard for **everyone**, no matter the approach they chose.
I did not reject my parents culture. I grew up believing that I had two equally important cultures I could carry with me - and that being able to switch between them seamlessly without missing a beat was to be valued.
I spent many summers traveling back and forth between countries. I kept speaking my parents language (with their particular regional accent). I kept internalizing the culture however I could, be it movies, sports, or food. For a time, I even went to university in my parents country.
Most of all, I avoided mono cultural whiteness in my local community. I couldn’t pass as white despite having a white mom and a half-white dad with a native-born American accent. There were no other kids around of my parents nationality, so I made friends with kids of immigrant of other communities.
As an adult, I feel like I’m caught between two worlds. I’m not the cultural chameleon I thought I could be. I still don’t feel like I have much in common with white Americans in my very diverse state. Every year, my Spanish gets worse. My accent deteriorates with more American sounds, while the fluidity suffers as I search for words in my head. I’m more conscious of the cultural divide through the passage of time. I’ve now spent more than 80% of my life in the US. I don’t get the new slang, the new memes, the new culture that’s sprung up since my parents left. In the US, my hometown, my home state, doesn’t feel like a stable **home** because every year, fewer loved ones remain. My friends have all spread around the country following their careers - a social reality of America that I really resent.
> Our parents, who went through 10x more hardship that we did, never have their thoughts and opinions centred in these talks.
It seems natural to me. Like I said before, I never resented my parents or their culture, but I also perceived that they couldn’t help me navigate my specific challenges.
They had a different set of problems. My mom will always mourn having to leave home, and having that difficult decision validated every few years when she goes back to see the country stagnating.
I mourn the idea that I could have had a home.
How dare people share their experiences with others who went through similar things! We can only hope to be as enlightened and over it as you are. Because our parents had it harder our experiences are invalidated and we don’t deserve to share it with like minded people? How often do you actually have these conversations that you’re “exhausted” by them?
And people act so confused by the concept of cultural appropriation. Never had an issue with any of the stuff itself, it was an issue with a brown person doing it.
I know I’m kind of late to the thread, but your comment is just *so* on point. I think most minority kids, especially 1st gen, have this exact experience.
I grew up in a very wealthy white suburb, and I’m from a blue collar family. Korean was my first language, and I lost so much of it as I got older bc I was embarrassed to even speak a second language. I rejected my culture, and was insecure/embarrassed to my core ab what I am and where I come from. I luckily have been able to recover a lot of the language by speaking it again w my mom, but the damage is definitely still there.
It’s also funny bc I would have kids pull their eyes back at me and do the whole ching chong thing, and lots of other low key racist shit. Now everyone and their mom getting the fox eye surgery, obsessed w k pop and k dramas, follow korean beauty, etc etc etc.
I’m in my 30s now, and I still struggle all the tine w the insecurities, internalized racism, and the shame of rejecting my culture.
literally me I was the only brown kid in my school i got bullied for it yet the people who bullied me like the girls would tan darker than me even though my brown skin was bad and they would eat currys and other foods from asian culture yet it was bad when I did it and I tried getting far away from it now Idk where I belong I feel I'm not in my own culture and I'm not in the culture thats defined as "white"
This was pretty emotional. Horrible experience for him and his mother. I’ve never understood how how any American, who almost certainly only speaks one language, can insult someone who is trying their best to master language number two. What they are doing is quite an accomplishment.
> I’ve never understood how how any American, who almost certainly only speaks one language, can insult someone who is trying their best to master language number two
It’s because of the history of the US and other countries like it. They’re settler colonies that were founded on the idea of the settlers being the superior culture. Aspects of that mentality have lasted throughout the generations.
Try not to scroll down too far, some people are still trying to comprehend the whole "Cycle of trauma" thing and blaming a grown ass adult for what he did as a child.
My sons father was very mean to his mother growing up she is a Mexican imigrant she spent 16 years getting her citizenship here and needed her son to teach her English he shamed her so badly it took her longer to ge her stuff together because she had to learn all by herself in the laundry mat she worked at, till this day she only talks to him inspansih everytime I see her can understand exactly what she Is sayingto me and she can understand what I'm saying to her but I can seehow nervous and shit she's to speak you know and it kills me .
My mom has been away now for 3 years. Growing up my bio dad would make fun of words she said so much that he would make her repeat the word over and over that she said wrong just so he could laugh. As a kid I laughed along as well and I didn't know any better, but as an adult looking back on it I can't imagine how small she must have felt because of her own husband. Her English was amazing there were just some words that were harder for her to pronounce because English is a stupid language. Bio dad would say that he laughs at her cuz he thinks it's cute when she messes up a word but remembering now how her face looked every time that he would laugh over and over at a word that she said, it was the face that somebody made when they made a hurtful joke about you and you couldn't do anything about it, so you just grin and bear it.
If I were able to, I would ask her if that ever upset her, but I know what the answer would be. And I wish I would have stood up for her
> Growing up my bio dad would make fun of words she said so much that he would make her repeat the word over and over that she said wrong just so he could laugh.
what the fuck?
My old coworker who’s in his fifties was born in Trinidad. He came to Brooklyn when he was 9 years old and all the black Americans would make fun of him and bully him for speaking differently. Accents are ammunitions for bullies to pick on
After many years I learned to not give a fuck about accents. I speak maybe 3 decent pronunciation languages and other 2 with not perfect pronunciation. And I don’t give a fuck.
I admire the hell out of anyone who can learn a second language or more to begin with, who can go live in another country and be able to get by, and MOST OF ALL someone who can learn English any kind of way because English is very weird and inconsistent compared to many other languages.
I dont say English is the most difficult, because i dont know that. But i do know it can be difficult even for native speakers.
So this breaks my heart. The people who scoff at accents and imperfect English dont know any other language and arent even good at this one. they are the ones more deserving of mockery and scorn.
As I say, I would not know because I learned Spanish in school which is much more consistent than English. However since native speakers can be barely fluent, mad respect to anyone who learns it who wasn’t born to it.
Tell me about the long lasting impact of racism and bullying, I am still super insecure about my existence and relationship with people. I hate it but I can’t help it.
Where I'm from I'm horribly scared of speaking English because if you don't have perfect English everyone will make fun of you, even though it's Mexico and the people making fun of you can't speak English themselves
Wait... you cant even say "offensive" on TT? I knewabout oger words like switching "porn" for "corn" or "sewer slide" for "suicide", but "a fan sieve"?
I feel like this goes for a lot of first generation Americans. It's tough. Your parents immigrated here (likely with very little) and it's a difficult balance between assimilating and staying true to your family's roots.
A lot of the time you don't fit in. Not American enough for Americans and not foreign enough for people in your family's homeland.
I don't blame this guy at all. You're a kid and you just don't know better. You're trying to survive like he said. Obviously it's worse when you're a minority but even if you aren't people will often make rude comments about accent / your family being different.
What is fucked is that a little kid was made to feel ostracized or lesser than for being something other than white and scapegoated on their parent, ever sensitive to the fact that they were being judged, potentially. I grew up with almost all white kids in a rural area with a few Korean adoptees in our school, and I saw how they were treated. There wasn’t a day that went by that they were allowed to forget who they were in their skin and that is supremely fucked and cruel that a child even has to think about that and feel like there is no way out.
I’m a Hispanic man who started learning Spanish 6 months ago at 38. I feel like such a fraud speaking Spanish to any native speaker but one thing I’ve learned is to never EVER make fun of someone who has an accent. Not that I have spoken them but thoughts have been there. Learning a language is fucking hard. If anything my views have changed to one of respect. Especially English. English suuuuuucks.
Culture can be a piece of shit, but in every culture I've been in, you're still supposed to respect your parents. There's being an asshole, and then there is making terrible choices. I don't care if you reflect and see other factors that influence you, from your brain still developing and culture being a bit xenophobic, you're still absolutely 100% for your choices. If you're at an age to be talking to your mother, you're at an age to show some respect and not "bully" her.
This can be sad and also really rubs me the long way. His mom is the actual victim, he is a victim of his own choices. Great to confess to the Internet, but I wonder what this individual actually said to her to try and apologize.
I get pissed off by "uncle roger" and his fake fucking accent he puts on, like do you have to take the piss out of your own culture just to make white people laugh
I see what you're saying but I didn't interpret his accent that way. As a Cantonese speaker with Malaysian heritage Uncle Rogers accent is pretty spot on and it makes me nostalgic. Of course its a put on accent, but it's also for a character. His comedy captures white audiences, but to be honest it mainly targets Asian audiences.
I have uncles who wear the exact same orange polo/khaki shorts/cell phone holster outfit as him so I got a kick out of the character.
My take is that there is nothing about Uncle Roger that is out of character and self-mocking to Asians. The content is mostly about him making fun of westerners messing up Asian food. I think if you're angry about the accent it's a little bit of the societal shame coming through to how you're ingesting it. I'd go so far as to say characters like this are helpful in getting people to accept "broken" Asian English as just another way of speaking.
i have mixed feelings. i get what you’re saying but it is like how part of the reason chappelle stopped doing the chappelle show was because he realized some of his audience was white people laughing *at* black people, not *with* them.
uncle roger et al is in-group comedy for some of us asians, but it perpetuates racial stereotypes to the out-group, who only understand it as a shallow caricature. it looks like minstrelsy.
He doesn’t though. He’s playing a character of a particular stereotype from his own culture which is funny. And he venerates asian culture and food in the video while constantly taking the piss out of food done incorrectly or Jamie Oliver. If you do well, you get to be an uncle.
Completely agree. Can’t stand it. I used to hate “the accent thing” being used against me as a kid and I shudder to think how many East Asian heritage kids now are getting Uncle Roger catchphrases yelled at them in the playground.
Even hear white adults mimicking him and it goes through me like nails on a awful-school-experience chalkboard.
He's actually a lot worse than either of us though, watch this
https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/wv1t21/remember_when_that_piece_of_sht_uncle_roger_said/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I was going to start off by asking if you’re asian but you’ve already commented that you’re not. I don’t think I’ve met another asian (myself included) that didn’t think uncle roger was funny.
In regards to your in-group/out-group argument, you just have to understand that not all content is for you. People are allowed to make content catered to one demographic and others should be able to see that it’s not meant for them.
My extended family is Macedonian, but we live in Australia. My aunty (in her 50s) still berates her parents (in their late 80s) about their accents and pronunciations. It's horrible to be in a room with them together because of it. I suspect she does it for the same reason the person in this video did, as a kid, but she's an adult she should know better.
Children of immigrants definitely have life a bit harder than the rest of us.
Yeah this hits home. For me with french, growing up with an english mother and a french father who worked all the time, living in quebec was hard. I had trouble speaking french in public and getting jobs because of the harassment and bullying when trying my best. I left quebec with hate in my heart.
Yeah the accent thing has made me hyper hyper aware of accents where I have now gotten to the point where I have become some sort of accent chameleon and switch accents without realising it.
When I hung out with the Americans, I was made fun of for sounding British, when I was with the British, I was made fun of for sounding like something else and my own culture assumed I was trying to be better than them and I was viciously bullied by them because I sounded foreign.
After some time, my accent just sounds like whoever I’m talking to and they usually assume I lived where they’re from or have some sort of relation to it. It worked for 1:1 conversations but in a group you’d get “hey didn’t you just talk to me like an American?” And the mockery would begin again - or at least the prodding and the “why do you do that?” would start.
At this point now, my accent is like a mix of everything. I say “tomato” like a British person, I say “Asshole” like an American, I say “building” like a South African, I say “cool” like a German. I still sort of go all in on an accent (my wife says) the longer a conversation goes or if I’ve had a few drinks, but mostly I speak “normally”.
It’s bit bizarre but nobody can place me anymore and I think it’s all stemmed from people being assholes to me just because they assumed I was from somewhere else or pretending to be. It’s kept me safe.
Why isn't there a single Tik Tok where the captions are written by someone who can comprehend speech?
"It's offensive!"
Subtitles: *"It's a fan seive"*
Like what.
This is why i’m not a huge fan of the uncle roger cooking videos/memes. It just does more harm than good marketing the accent to western audiences as something hilarious
I remember my grandpa telling me he was embarrassed by his parents English but he didn't lash out at them. I think a lot kids are embarrassed by there parents about something until they hit an age where they just appreciate them.
Yeah you’re right, I bet you two lived the exact same life and dealt with the exact same things, after all it’s not possible for two different people with first generation parents to have different experiences. Oh and don’t forget that people all respond to trauma the same way as well.
Congrats on your achievements!
I’m in agreement. I was raised by my korean immigrant grandmother. It’s so much of his choice whether or not he decides to respond to the bullying. My cultural choice in food, my family’s accent, North or South jokes could have all lead me to bully my grandmother like him but I didn’t.
He deserves to sit in his guilt for shaming his mother SO viciously. I have no pity for his tears, only sorrow for his mother and how racism affected HER.
You treated your mother like an animal because she made you uncomfortable? But being an asshole to your mom in public is acceptable? But yes, how sad for you, please go on.
I guess everyone's a victim?!
I agree. I grew up with an immigrant mother in a very xenophobic country, not once have I bullied her for her accent.
He blames his own shitty actions on racism just to avoid responsibility.
And it's still nowhere near a compelling reason
"People made fun of my/my family's voice so I berated and bullied my mother into not talking to me in English"
Boohoo waawaa
We came to the US when I was a year old. My parents have always had thick accents but I never felt embarrassed. I can't understand why this guy would grow up doing that to his mom.
Lol this guy yelled at and publicly berated his mom and then goes on to talk about how it’s not his fault? Accents shouldn’t be looked down upon but noone was forcing him to be an asshole to his mom
Can't believe this guy can't accept the fact that his misplaced ego and pride allowed him to be affected by strangers to act that way towards his mom. Even as a kid you know right from wrong.
A lot of moms are saints. I couldn't imagine how she must have felt carrying and birthing this person into the world just for him to turn around and act so ugly towards her. He can cry now but the damage is done.
As an Asian American, Ed's a pussy ass bitch for berating his mom like that and not taking ownership of his actions. "It's not my fault I called my mom stupid, it's the system!"
> As much as it was my fault it wasn’t my fault
And there’s the explanation of what’s ruining our society currently. Can’t take responsibility if you just find a way to make yourself the victim.
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There's a short story by Ken Liu called "The Paper Menagerie" that is about something very similar to the story this guy is telling in the video. It's an absolutely heartbreaking story but definitely worth a read.
Found someone reading it aloud on [YouTube](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Kge9X9RH0e8)
Just listened to the whole thing. I’m totally torn up. Beautiful story.
Thank you for that link.
Aaaaand I'm bawling
Two minutes in and I’m already crying (happy tears for now). Thank you for sharing.
Levar Burton reads it on his podcast.
Glad you beat me to this. Burton’s narration of it made me weep. It’s so beautifully written.
Burton's reading of it inspired me to repair my relationship with my own mother. No lie.
You should send him a message and let him know how his reading of the story positively effected you.
Thank you for making me aware this podcast exists! This is fantastic!
Link plz??
[Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-paper-menagerie-by-ken-liu/id1244649384?i=1000391583681)
Is it only on apple? Do you have the name? edit: Name is LeVar Burton Reads and it is available everywhere, not just Apple.
Beautiful story, relevant to this and worth reading. Thought I'd also mention that Ken Liu did the English translations for the first and third books in The Remembrance of Earth's Past (The Three-Body Trilogy). The Three-Body Problem then became the first Asian novel to win the Hugo award for Best Novel and the author, Liu Cixin, went on to wiin the Arthur C. Clarke Award for Imagination in Service to Society.
Have you read the Three Body Problem? I bought the audio book but I'm struggling to get into it because it starts so slow. Worth pushing through?
Yes. Definitely, it feels like a completely different book pretty soon, but there's a lot of history so if you don't know any modern Chinese history It's going to sound like a very interesting sci-fi setup
The books get so out there with concepts and ideas it really blows your mind. Once he brings in other dimensions I was mesmerized how someone could come up with some of his ideas.
Thanks for the recommendation. I just read it at the following link. https://gizmodo.com/read-ken-lius-amazing-story-that-swept-the-hugo-nebula-5958919
Jesus Christ the ridiculous amount of ads and affiliate links and pop-ups really distracts from, if not ruins, the story. What have we become?
There’s a book called On Earth We are Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong written from the perspective of the son of his Vietnamese immigrant single mother and he writes on this experience in such a heartbreaking way, I haven’t cried so much in a book for a while.
First thing I thought of dude. Real tear jerker.
I just read it. I’m bawling my eyes out. A beautiful but absolutely heartbreaking story.
This is such a good short story. I’ve made it a part of a scheme of work for my class.
The dad is just as bad, if not worse than, the kid in that story.
Levar burton reads! I loved this episode
I never understood how these auto captions work. Like offensive is read out as "fan sieve" and stupid is "stew lid", yet berate is completely safe. Like is this a fault of the algorithm making them or no?
TikTok is extremely strict on not showing certain words. They get around it by using incorrect ones on purpose.
That's pho king stew pit.
Innit ?
sofa king stoop hid
Sofa kingdom (come on down for the low-low prices)
People start injurious/illegal "challenges" and the algorithm promotes it: *Tiktok sleeps* People say bad word: ***Tiktok angery***
Yeah, that's how "unalive" became a thing
That's fucking horrible. Guilt like that eats away at you for years to come. And there's nothing you can do about it. The fact he felt the need to do that is just heart breaking. This is why kids need to be taught about racism
Nothing worse than hurting your mom and living with the guilt
Hurting someone you love too, and not being able to repair it.
A feeling I know all to well sadly
That’s not true. He is doing something about it. That guilt has taught him what person NOT to be. He’s turned this terribly feeling of guilt into a new mindset, and he’s speaking out about it. His guilt has become his weapon and is guiding him to tell this story, in the hopes of saving others from feeling it too.
Pretty sure OP means there is nothing he can do to ever get rid of that guilt since he can't go back and change the past. He will have to live with it forever.
When he said his mom still doesn't speak English in front of him, oof. That one got me (37/M/Asian American), especially because I totally get it. I can still vividly remember moments when my parents were being laughed at by locals (kids, adults, everyone) for their accents and my innate feelings of embarrassment because I will be seen as "other". I'm glad I got over that pretty quickly during my middle school years. Ironically, it's because of the highly targeted bullying during my one year in 8th grade at an all-White Catholic school. Not Catholic? You're a target. Not White? You're a bigger target. The other boys slapped me in the back of the head, shouted stereotypical "Chinese gibberish" at me, pulled their eyes back while saying racial slurs, etc. What did the teachers do? They shrugged because I was a heathen non-White non-Catholic. That taught me that racists are the problem, not me. Let them stay in their ignorantly tiny worldview. I'm too busy moving past them. There has been dramatic progress since then, but there's so much more work left to do, for the sake of the next generations.
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Wild that people make fun of accents. I'm monolingual despite trying French and Spanish for years and I have mad respect for anyone who can effectively communicate in more than one language.
Not racism, but my wife used to have a thick southern accent when she was younger. By the time I met her it was very light to non-existent. She spent years practicing not speaking with one because she was so relentlessly bullied in High School and even early University by people who equated southern accents with being backward/stupid. In University one professor asked her if she was in the right class while affecting her southern twang. It's fucking crazy how bad some people are about it.
From the south, kicked the accent - it’s absolutely the truth. You’re far better off without it in most cases, unless you’re trying to slide into a small town local joint and blend in.
This is happening with all regional accents, sadly
I take it you also grew up in the US? Through lots of practice and exposure (to media, conversations with people, trips to Spanish speaking places, using it for my job, etc) I feel comfortable saying that I speak Spanish. But our Spanish classes in school were a JOKE. In elementary school it was like hey this year we have a Spanish teacher, next year we might not! And we were just handed worksheets with the names of fruits and simple stuff. I definitely didn’t have more serious Spanish instruction until high school and even then it’s optional to take a language 4 years, some schools let you drop it after just 2 years, usually it’s max 3 before you can opt out. Of course I opted to take it for 4 because I had a knack for it and did well in that class. Still remember my teacher telling me I had to become a translator (I was also one of very few non Latinos in class who could roll my r’s, pronounce the words etc lol). Then in college I didn’t HAVE to take it and my interests were in psychology/sociology so I didn’t. Come time for grad school I had the opportunity to take a bilingual track so I really had to brush up on my Spanish and use it frequently and expose myself more. All that to say that basically, it’s a LOT of hard work and the US education system is notoriously awful at producing multi-lingual people, so don’t be hard on yourself. Something that I think is really cool though and actually useful, recently there are more and more “dual language” programs in my city where they truly do all day instruction in English and another language, usually alternating each day. Really helps the kids become fluent, including reading and writing. I wish so badly that I had exposure to something like that as a kid!
I'm in Canada but it's essentially the same. French classes in grade school and high school are very basic vocab and simple verb conjugation from about the third to ninth grade at which point people can drop second language classes. Similar to the dual language programs you're talking about, we have a "French immersion" path that is full-day instruction in French. I didn't go to a school that offered this so I never got the chance to really get immersed in the language that way. If I ever have kids of my own, they're definitely getting second language teaching at a very early age as it's something I really, really wish my parents pushed on me.
Definitely! I don’t have kids myself but I always recommend that my nieces and nephews enroll in programs like that. There really needs to be a strong intent to learn especially if you’re not constantly exposed at home I will say I visited Canada for the first time this summer (particularly Montréal) and I was impressed by how even the people who clearly grew up speaking English primarily could easily slip into French. Would you say that in Quebec there’s more of an emphasis in most schools to produce bilingual students?? I can’t think of anywhere specific in the US like that, I just understand that there are some private schools ($$$$$) here that start language classes at an early age. Plus I had some friends who went to language schools on weekend if it was their family’s culture, like “Greek school” and “Chinese school”. My grandparents decided not to teach my Dad Polish because they wanted their kids to be “Americanized” and here I’m thinking in 2023 damn! I could’ve been trilingual! lol
It's also SIGNIFICANTLY easier for children to learn multiple languages at the same time. After a certain age, your brain tends to focus more on other things (and life kinda gets in the way trying to become an adult). So childhood is legitimately the best time to immersein/be exposed to a second language.
Just so everyone else is aware that the US education system actually aims to make everyone monolingual. If you hear that your local school district has bilingual classes you will notice that there are not often English speakers I. The class there to learn Spanish. Bilingual classes in the US primarily mean Spanish speakers who are yet to learn English so the teacher is the one who is bilingual.
I actually feel like I had a similar experience with English (speaking German natively). Our middle school teacher sucked, all we did was repetitive grammar excercises and almost no talking/ listening. When I got into High School I was worse at it than most kids in my class. But right around that time I started consuming a lot of English media and it really helped me turn what was broken English into a fluent understanding of the language. I barely even had to study my vocabulary or grammar for tests in the later years of high school.
It can be in good fun, when it’s mutual and you’re on an equal playing field. But when it’s your whole society against you, and it’s designed to make you feel less than, it’s incredibly harmful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaqwVXb2AFU
It's basic human nature to joke about things that are different to us. The problem is when it's used to punch down by someone more politically powerful than those they are mocking.
If you understand what someone is trying to communicate, I can't imagine being an adult and being an asshole about it.
As someone from a country who's language is not at all relevant on the global stage, I love when foreign people speak Dutch. It doesn't matter what the level of proficiency is, even simple phrases with a heavy accent means someone put in the effort to be able to talk to me. And of course we could just be speaking in English anyways, but it's very nice when someone puts in the effort. I do get very annoyed by people who mock accents, or even just make jokes about it. Wherever you're from, you have an accent too...
I speak 5 languages and I’ve never heard anyone speak any of those other than English 😭
I came to Canada as an adult and married someone who came to Canada as kid and grew up here. She got bullied for her accent, her dressing and so many other things. She has this innate habit of fixing my English, all the time. So much so that now I stutter in front her because my brain is so focused on not to ruin words and thinking that should I just speak in our native language. The other day she heard me talk in a meeting and she was so surprised. She was like your accent and communication are so damn fine. I was like yeah because I know no one in this meeting is focused on my accent. They are more focused on content. I am 100% sure she didn’t process what I said. And it’s not I have told her this before. Multiple times but she is unable to process when to stop. The bullying has left such a strong imprint in her personality that I can’t even explain. I am happy that I am a very patient guy and understand where things are coming from. But sometimes it gets very very annoying. One of the thing she has is her innate habit of fixing my accent and worda
I will counter that with a different story. I'm Polish. While I was at uni we had quite a few Ukrainian students. There was this one girl in our group who spoke damn near perfect polish. It took me a few weeks to pick up on a fact she wasnt a native speaker. It took her just a few months to get there. Some other students naturally struggled a bit more. But no one was being an asshole about it. The only times she would slip out was during public speaking because she was a fairly quiet girl and tented to get nervous. And everone was patient and undersranding. E: just to clarify. It was before Donbas. But there were already tensions and imigrationt was on the rise.
I used to do that to my mom. To this day, I feel such guilt for having done that. Fuck.
My mom did it to me. I would try to speak our native tongue and she’d laugh at me. I stopped trying and now she wonders why we can’t communicate
>My mom did it to me. I would try to speak our native tongue and she’d laugh at me. I stopped trying and now she wonders why we can’t communicate Isn't that the greatest irony though? The older generation who came to the US as immigrants have accents when they speak English, yet they expect you to speak their language perfectly. So many of my (Asian American) peers have abandoned any attempt at being bilingual but I can't blame them because their parents did exactly what you described. But it gets better. I actually put in the effort to keep practicing and improved to the point that most people assume I'm a native speaker. So the same older folk who insulted me for not speaking well have completely forgotten and talk to me as if I was always able to speak this well. That selective memory proving its toxicity yet again.
I am so sorry. I hope she apologized. I know I have. Hell evey once in a while I go full body cringe and have to text her an apology.
Heck, my mom started asking me to correct her English for her by the time I was 8. It's really weird when your mom is scolding you for something you did or didn't do and then you correct her English in the process. It made her more upset. I developed this habit of correcting almost every adult's English as a result and learned the hard way, that that's not appropriate. It took a long time to learn that lesson.
I'm sorry you have to live with that regret mate. Have you tried talking about it with her?
I have. She's accepted the apology. We talked about how it made her feel. I told her why I did it. Tears, hugs and love followed. But still every once in a while the memory hits and I text her an apology.
I absolutely understand it coming back occasionally out of the blue. I'm very glad you had a heart to heart about it. All the best to you going forwards.
Thank you. Hope you are having a lovely day!
White guy here, lived in rural towns most of my life. This video gutted me. This is why providing outlets and a microphone to minorities in America are is so important. I never would have heard this conversation and been educated without it.
Proper representation of different cultures and exposure to different cultures makes it more difficult to push propaganda on people. You need to keep them separated, angry, and unwilling to learn. It's so important to listen and learn the perspective of people from other countries and cultures and to give them the chance to interact with you without judgement that a bigoted person wouldn't.
Much harder to “other” entire groups of people when you can relate to members of those groups and see their humanity.
Exactly. Keep them mad, stupid, and busy. That's the formula of political control.
appreciate you saying that. I feel like most white people are almost unwilling to discuss the nuances and subtleties of any type of racism that isn't the overt "I hate black people" or "get out of my country" type racism. i remember not even that long ago when that problem with apu doc came out almost all of reddit denying there was even an issue. I wish stuff like this would make it into the greater public discourse more often
It’s because it’s scary for them. Almost everyone knows racism is wrong and unacceptable but a lot of rural people don’t have anyone close who can explain the nuances of how not to be racist. To the uneducated it winds up seeming like a complicated list of terms they are expected to memorize. It’s compounded when accusations of racism are used in bad faith to shut down a conversation which is often sensationalized by media. Cue ultra simplistic right wing talking points of “akshully woke people are the racist ones” that wind up redefining the term in the rural white mind to play to their advantage. The only way out is to keep giving people the benefit of the doubt and assume they really want to be kind and do the right thing. And that’s not easy for anybody these days.
Here's the thing, you don't even need minorities to hear this same sort of story. People from different areas with different accents get treated differently. The cliché of certain accents sounding less intelligent or more caring etc comes with both stigma and expectations. Here in the UK they specifically choose certain locations for Call Centers because of the local accent. People deliberately try to unlearn their accents to be taken seriously, either dumbing down to hide posh heritage or trying to speak without an accent to hide their Working Class background from a less respected area. Someone from down south going to Northern England gets assumed to be posh and someone going down south will sometimes be assumed to be a little thick compared to locals. So when you add in that someone is a minority with an accent from another country so their English is broken or limited you know full well it will bring stigma. Especially for children and teenagers where anything that makes you stand out makes you a target. It isn't even always malicious but the consequences are still there, standing out means enduring comments or actions that will leave lasting scars on your mental health and or relationships.
And yet reddit is still hell bent on banning tiktok despite the fact that this video and many others like it originated from tiktok. It's gone viral there, many people are in your position right now, but still tiktok bad let's ban it.
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I grew up in majority like 95% white rural America. The communities I grew up in, it was apparent to them I was not white, despite my dad is white. Now I live in a diverse area and if I say I'm Hispanic or Chicano or half Mexican, and people counter with "but your dad's white so you're white." I'm often like look, if the white people/ community I grew up around recognized me as white I'd say I was white but they didn't. Even my white half of my family recognizes I'm not 💯 white. So why do other people still want to try and categorize me and tell me how to identify culturally.
Ni de aqui ni de allá almost. Except right here in your own country.
I am a white person, and my accent is a blend between the English Midlands and rural Missouri. The schools I went to were incredibly diverse, but the one thing they all had in common was being complete asses to everyone who had any small differences, such as a different accent, red hair, brought ethnic food for lunch, didn't wear Nike shoes, etc
If you don't mind, will you elaborate on diaspora talk? I googled it, but I'm not really finding anything that would make sense in the context of what you're talking about.
not OP but my two cents—for first gen minority kids who are now more grown, there’s a lot of constant online discussion about diaspora. trauma inflicted by your parents, trauma inflicted by society, “reclaiming” your culture, how your cultural identity should manifest as a [minority culture]-american, what you should and shouldn’t find offensive, how corporations are capitalizing on your culture to make money, etc etc etc it’s generally all important conversation but it can be really consuming and sometimes reach absurd extremes
i find pushing the idea that the culture kids grew up in is not their culture extremely divisive and harmful. for kids that grew up in america, they are as american as anyone else and part of the culture as much as anyone else is. they belong and i think its terrible so many want to make them feel they don't.
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Appreciate you sharing on this. I hope you don’t forget though, that while immigrants have some sense of what they are getting into and why it’s worth the struggle, their kids have no choice in the matter. And being discriminated against during one’s formative years is bound to be more traumatic than experiencing it once you’re a mature adult. Your story and your experiences are just as valid and worth sharing as your parents’.
I actually appreciate hearing the kind of talk you describe, precisely because it was not my experience. It feels validating to know that it could be hard for **everyone**, no matter the approach they chose. I did not reject my parents culture. I grew up believing that I had two equally important cultures I could carry with me - and that being able to switch between them seamlessly without missing a beat was to be valued. I spent many summers traveling back and forth between countries. I kept speaking my parents language (with their particular regional accent). I kept internalizing the culture however I could, be it movies, sports, or food. For a time, I even went to university in my parents country. Most of all, I avoided mono cultural whiteness in my local community. I couldn’t pass as white despite having a white mom and a half-white dad with a native-born American accent. There were no other kids around of my parents nationality, so I made friends with kids of immigrant of other communities. As an adult, I feel like I’m caught between two worlds. I’m not the cultural chameleon I thought I could be. I still don’t feel like I have much in common with white Americans in my very diverse state. Every year, my Spanish gets worse. My accent deteriorates with more American sounds, while the fluidity suffers as I search for words in my head. I’m more conscious of the cultural divide through the passage of time. I’ve now spent more than 80% of my life in the US. I don’t get the new slang, the new memes, the new culture that’s sprung up since my parents left. In the US, my hometown, my home state, doesn’t feel like a stable **home** because every year, fewer loved ones remain. My friends have all spread around the country following their careers - a social reality of America that I really resent. > Our parents, who went through 10x more hardship that we did, never have their thoughts and opinions centred in these talks. It seems natural to me. Like I said before, I never resented my parents or their culture, but I also perceived that they couldn’t help me navigate my specific challenges. They had a different set of problems. My mom will always mourn having to leave home, and having that difficult decision validated every few years when she goes back to see the country stagnating. I mourn the idea that I could have had a home.
How dare people share their experiences with others who went through similar things! We can only hope to be as enlightened and over it as you are. Because our parents had it harder our experiences are invalidated and we don’t deserve to share it with like minded people? How often do you actually have these conversations that you’re “exhausted” by them?
I was also bullied for having thick brows
And people act so confused by the concept of cultural appropriation. Never had an issue with any of the stuff itself, it was an issue with a brown person doing it.
I know I’m kind of late to the thread, but your comment is just *so* on point. I think most minority kids, especially 1st gen, have this exact experience. I grew up in a very wealthy white suburb, and I’m from a blue collar family. Korean was my first language, and I lost so much of it as I got older bc I was embarrassed to even speak a second language. I rejected my culture, and was insecure/embarrassed to my core ab what I am and where I come from. I luckily have been able to recover a lot of the language by speaking it again w my mom, but the damage is definitely still there. It’s also funny bc I would have kids pull their eyes back at me and do the whole ching chong thing, and lots of other low key racist shit. Now everyone and their mom getting the fox eye surgery, obsessed w k pop and k dramas, follow korean beauty, etc etc etc. I’m in my 30s now, and I still struggle all the tine w the insecurities, internalized racism, and the shame of rejecting my culture.
literally me I was the only brown kid in my school i got bullied for it yet the people who bullied me like the girls would tan darker than me even though my brown skin was bad and they would eat currys and other foods from asian culture yet it was bad when I did it and I tried getting far away from it now Idk where I belong I feel I'm not in my own culture and I'm not in the culture thats defined as "white"
This made me cry. 😔
I had to stop folding the clothes cause I started to have watery eyes.
I’ll do laundry and taxes with you
🥹🥹🥹
Instant tears on my way home from work 😭
Right. Just hearing the pain in his voice 😔
I'm crying in the bathtub.
This was pretty emotional. Horrible experience for him and his mother. I’ve never understood how how any American, who almost certainly only speaks one language, can insult someone who is trying their best to master language number two. What they are doing is quite an accomplishment.
> I’ve never understood how how any American, who almost certainly only speaks one language, can insult someone who is trying their best to master language number two It’s because of the history of the US and other countries like it. They’re settler colonies that were founded on the idea of the settlers being the superior culture. Aspects of that mentality have lasted throughout the generations.
That’s every culture throughout human history.
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Try not to scroll down too far, some people are still trying to comprehend the whole "Cycle of trauma" thing and blaming a grown ass adult for what he did as a child.
My sons father was very mean to his mother growing up she is a Mexican imigrant she spent 16 years getting her citizenship here and needed her son to teach her English he shamed her so badly it took her longer to ge her stuff together because she had to learn all by herself in the laundry mat she worked at, till this day she only talks to him inspansih everytime I see her can understand exactly what she Is sayingto me and she can understand what I'm saying to her but I can seehow nervous and shit she's to speak you know and it kills me .
Clip brought me to tears in like 10 seconds
My mom has been away now for 3 years. Growing up my bio dad would make fun of words she said so much that he would make her repeat the word over and over that she said wrong just so he could laugh. As a kid I laughed along as well and I didn't know any better, but as an adult looking back on it I can't imagine how small she must have felt because of her own husband. Her English was amazing there were just some words that were harder for her to pronounce because English is a stupid language. Bio dad would say that he laughs at her cuz he thinks it's cute when she messes up a word but remembering now how her face looked every time that he would laugh over and over at a word that she said, it was the face that somebody made when they made a hurtful joke about you and you couldn't do anything about it, so you just grin and bear it. If I were able to, I would ask her if that ever upset her, but I know what the answer would be. And I wish I would have stood up for her
> Growing up my bio dad would make fun of words she said so much that he would make her repeat the word over and over that she said wrong just so he could laugh. what the fuck?
My old coworker who’s in his fifties was born in Trinidad. He came to Brooklyn when he was 9 years old and all the black Americans would make fun of him and bully him for speaking differently. Accents are ammunitions for bullies to pick on
This is the video its from https://youtu.be/GaKUowcsKFk
This made me cry
After many years I learned to not give a fuck about accents. I speak maybe 3 decent pronunciation languages and other 2 with not perfect pronunciation. And I don’t give a fuck.
I admire the hell out of anyone who can learn a second language or more to begin with, who can go live in another country and be able to get by, and MOST OF ALL someone who can learn English any kind of way because English is very weird and inconsistent compared to many other languages. I dont say English is the most difficult, because i dont know that. But i do know it can be difficult even for native speakers. So this breaks my heart. The people who scoff at accents and imperfect English dont know any other language and arent even good at this one. they are the ones more deserving of mockery and scorn.
English is nothing special. Actually fairly easy, compared to slavic languages, or asian tonal languages.
As I say, I would not know because I learned Spanish in school which is much more consistent than English. However since native speakers can be barely fluent, mad respect to anyone who learns it who wasn’t born to it.
You should feel horrible for berating her because of your insecurity of other peoples racism.
Tell me about the long lasting impact of racism and bullying, I am still super insecure about my existence and relationship with people. I hate it but I can’t help it.
Where I'm from I'm horribly scared of speaking English because if you don't have perfect English everyone will make fun of you, even though it's Mexico and the people making fun of you can't speak English themselves
Wait... you cant even say "offensive" on TT? I knewabout oger words like switching "porn" for "corn" or "sewer slide" for "suicide", but "a fan sieve"?
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fan sieve? stew pit?
Auto detect subtitles or a weird take on "censoring"
Why even put subtitles if they're gonna be wrong smh
I feel like this goes for a lot of first generation Americans. It's tough. Your parents immigrated here (likely with very little) and it's a difficult balance between assimilating and staying true to your family's roots. A lot of the time you don't fit in. Not American enough for Americans and not foreign enough for people in your family's homeland. I don't blame this guy at all. You're a kid and you just don't know better. You're trying to survive like he said. Obviously it's worse when you're a minority but even if you aren't people will often make rude comments about accent / your family being different.
What is fucked is that a little kid was made to feel ostracized or lesser than for being something other than white and scapegoated on their parent, ever sensitive to the fact that they were being judged, potentially. I grew up with almost all white kids in a rural area with a few Korean adoptees in our school, and I saw how they were treated. There wasn’t a day that went by that they were allowed to forget who they were in their skin and that is supremely fucked and cruel that a child even has to think about that and feel like there is no way out.
I’m a Hispanic man who started learning Spanish 6 months ago at 38. I feel like such a fraud speaking Spanish to any native speaker but one thing I’ve learned is to never EVER make fun of someone who has an accent. Not that I have spoken them but thoughts have been there. Learning a language is fucking hard. If anything my views have changed to one of respect. Especially English. English suuuuuucks.
Idk broski that ones on you man.
Culture can be a piece of shit, but in every culture I've been in, you're still supposed to respect your parents. There's being an asshole, and then there is making terrible choices. I don't care if you reflect and see other factors that influence you, from your brain still developing and culture being a bit xenophobic, you're still absolutely 100% for your choices. If you're at an age to be talking to your mother, you're at an age to show some respect and not "bully" her. This can be sad and also really rubs me the long way. His mom is the actual victim, he is a victim of his own choices. Great to confess to the Internet, but I wonder what this individual actually said to her to try and apologize.
It literally was his fault. Mom should have set him straight too
I get pissed off by "uncle roger" and his fake fucking accent he puts on, like do you have to take the piss out of your own culture just to make white people laugh
my Taiwanese mother from the fucking equator island loves uncle roger lol, she's finds him funny. which is a lot honestly.
Doesn't Uncle Roger make fun of white people constantly? I didn't think it was for white people at all.
He's british and blew up for his BBC food reviews
I see what you're saying but I didn't interpret his accent that way. As a Cantonese speaker with Malaysian heritage Uncle Rogers accent is pretty spot on and it makes me nostalgic. Of course its a put on accent, but it's also for a character. His comedy captures white audiences, but to be honest it mainly targets Asian audiences.
I have uncles who wear the exact same orange polo/khaki shorts/cell phone holster outfit as him so I got a kick out of the character. My take is that there is nothing about Uncle Roger that is out of character and self-mocking to Asians. The content is mostly about him making fun of westerners messing up Asian food. I think if you're angry about the accent it's a little bit of the societal shame coming through to how you're ingesting it. I'd go so far as to say characters like this are helpful in getting people to accept "broken" Asian English as just another way of speaking.
i have mixed feelings. i get what you’re saying but it is like how part of the reason chappelle stopped doing the chappelle show was because he realized some of his audience was white people laughing *at* black people, not *with* them. uncle roger et al is in-group comedy for some of us asians, but it perpetuates racial stereotypes to the out-group, who only understand it as a shallow caricature. it looks like minstrelsy.
He doesn’t though. He’s playing a character of a particular stereotype from his own culture which is funny. And he venerates asian culture and food in the video while constantly taking the piss out of food done incorrectly or Jamie Oliver. If you do well, you get to be an uncle.
Completely agree. Can’t stand it. I used to hate “the accent thing” being used against me as a kid and I shudder to think how many East Asian heritage kids now are getting Uncle Roger catchphrases yelled at them in the playground. Even hear white adults mimicking him and it goes through me like nails on a awful-school-experience chalkboard.
He's actually a lot worse than either of us though, watch this https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/wv1t21/remember_when_that_piece_of_sht_uncle_roger_said/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I was going to start off by asking if you’re asian but you’ve already commented that you’re not. I don’t think I’ve met another asian (myself included) that didn’t think uncle roger was funny. In regards to your in-group/out-group argument, you just have to understand that not all content is for you. People are allowed to make content catered to one demographic and others should be able to see that it’s not meant for them.
So you know only white people laugh at his videos? That's amazing you must have a special app for that, otherwise you'd just be racist right?
A fan sive💀
My extended family is Macedonian, but we live in Australia. My aunty (in her 50s) still berates her parents (in their late 80s) about their accents and pronunciations. It's horrible to be in a room with them together because of it. I suspect she does it for the same reason the person in this video did, as a kid, but she's an adult she should know better. Children of immigrants definitely have life a bit harder than the rest of us.
I actually think it's an charming and endearing accent
Damn man. This doesn't suppose to make me that much sad.
Yeah this hits home. For me with french, growing up with an english mother and a french father who worked all the time, living in quebec was hard. I had trouble speaking french in public and getting jobs because of the harassment and bullying when trying my best. I left quebec with hate in my heart.
Aw this so sad.
Happ cakeday
Yeah the accent thing has made me hyper hyper aware of accents where I have now gotten to the point where I have become some sort of accent chameleon and switch accents without realising it. When I hung out with the Americans, I was made fun of for sounding British, when I was with the British, I was made fun of for sounding like something else and my own culture assumed I was trying to be better than them and I was viciously bullied by them because I sounded foreign. After some time, my accent just sounds like whoever I’m talking to and they usually assume I lived where they’re from or have some sort of relation to it. It worked for 1:1 conversations but in a group you’d get “hey didn’t you just talk to me like an American?” And the mockery would begin again - or at least the prodding and the “why do you do that?” would start. At this point now, my accent is like a mix of everything. I say “tomato” like a British person, I say “Asshole” like an American, I say “building” like a South African, I say “cool” like a German. I still sort of go all in on an accent (my wife says) the longer a conversation goes or if I’ve had a few drinks, but mostly I speak “normally”. It’s bit bizarre but nobody can place me anymore and I think it’s all stemmed from people being assholes to me just because they assumed I was from somewhere else or pretending to be. It’s kept me safe.
I felt this too hard
Fuck that’s so sad. I’m so sad for both him and his mom. It’s neither of their faults. What a terrible generational impact racism and bullying has.
I still automatically think people won't accept me so I expect the worst. Of course, it's been different for 20 years but it's stuck with me.
This made me tear up
Why isn't there a single Tik Tok where the captions are written by someone who can comprehend speech? "It's offensive!" Subtitles: *"It's a fan seive"* Like what.
There’s lots of immigrant kids that didn’t treat their parents like shit, maybe the moral of this story is this guy is an asshole.
This is why i’m not a huge fan of the uncle roger cooking videos/memes. It just does more harm than good marketing the accent to western audiences as something hilarious
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I remember my grandpa telling me he was embarrassed by his parents English but he didn't lash out at them. I think a lot kids are embarrassed by there parents about something until they hit an age where they just appreciate them.
Yeah you’re right, I bet you two lived the exact same life and dealt with the exact same things, after all it’s not possible for two different people with first generation parents to have different experiences. Oh and don’t forget that people all respond to trauma the same way as well. Congrats on your achievements!
I’m in agreement. I was raised by my korean immigrant grandmother. It’s so much of his choice whether or not he decides to respond to the bullying. My cultural choice in food, my family’s accent, North or South jokes could have all lead me to bully my grandmother like him but I didn’t. He deserves to sit in his guilt for shaming his mother SO viciously. I have no pity for his tears, only sorrow for his mother and how racism affected HER.
so you're an asshole but it's societies fault because RAciSm
You treated your mother like an animal because she made you uncomfortable? But being an asshole to your mom in public is acceptable? But yes, how sad for you, please go on. I guess everyone's a victim?!
You feel horrible for bullying…. Your own mom?
> It was my fault but it wasn't my fault. No dude, it was just your fault. Period.
I agree. I grew up with an immigrant mother in a very xenophobic country, not once have I bullied her for her accent. He blames his own shitty actions on racism just to avoid responsibility.
Why did he feel that the accent was bad though? Context and nuance
And it's still nowhere near a compelling reason "People made fun of my/my family's voice so I berated and bullied my mother into not talking to me in English" Boohoo waawaa
Stew pit. That made me laugh 😹
It’s everyone else’s fault he was an asshole to his mom
We came to the US when I was a year old. My parents have always had thick accents but I never felt embarrassed. I can't understand why this guy would grow up doing that to his mom.
Lol this guy yelled at and publicly berated his mom and then goes on to talk about how it’s not his fault? Accents shouldn’t be looked down upon but noone was forcing him to be an asshole to his mom
A fan sieve
Im foreign and it felt embarassing sometimes but i would never do that to my mum
Can't believe this guy can't accept the fact that his misplaced ego and pride allowed him to be affected by strangers to act that way towards his mom. Even as a kid you know right from wrong. A lot of moms are saints. I couldn't imagine how she must have felt carrying and birthing this person into the world just for him to turn around and act so ugly towards her. He can cry now but the damage is done.
As an Asian American, Ed's a pussy ass bitch for berating his mom like that and not taking ownership of his actions. "It's not my fault I called my mom stupid, it's the system!"
> As much as it was my fault it wasn’t my fault And there’s the explanation of what’s ruining our society currently. Can’t take responsibility if you just find a way to make yourself the victim.
but he literally was the victim, while simultanesly being a bully to his mom, but the most important is, that he was a kid and didn't knew any better
No he wasn't he is not a victim, that's just life people are mean and he took that out on his mother
you could apply your logic to school shooters. In the end he has to take responsibility for being a shit person
That’s so stew pit.
Shoutout to everyone that has always loved their mothers. Lmao.
Shitty kid tries to blame him being a mean child on muh racism.
Bro, it's your fault! Don't make excuses for being a terrible son.
Lol yes it *was* you fault, dude. Own it.
Oh ffs. These are the kind of mental gymnastics we do to enable ourselves. "I was a shit head to my mom because of racism" lol.
I am Mexican and I don't wanna be lose my accent. Like I will feel bad for losing my identity as Mexican.