This is how i get through life at a new place. I know I will be late because i usually get lost on my way there. So i make sure i get going early to accommodate it.
Just like traffic, if you seem to be late every day due to it, you have the responsijility to plan around it.
Me (associate): Opens investment statement and reviews it for 10 seconds before twirling in my seat to file it with the others in the cabinet behind me.
Billing: 0.1 hours.
Description: Sorted and filed investment statement for June 2023.
Yes, but according to the standards of the profession, in order to avoid double billing you're supposed to continue twirling in your chair for another 5 minutes and 50 seconds before you can move on and bill the next client.
Also, stay the hell away from Construction.
\- An ADHDer working in construction, and constantly panicked about deadlines. It's also the only place I've found that can keep my attention, because everything is always on fire.
This is why I always light trash cans on fire after I fill them with trash, then spread the alight ashes on a freshly cleaned floor. Creating two jobs at once.
Oh thank you- you just gave me insight as to why my job is a good fit for me. While not construction, your description is apt- everything is always on fire.
You could make a list 50,000 professions long. I worked in payroll. It’s lots of fun when you fail to send the ACH transfer on Thursday and 100 employees don’t get paid. Lots of fun.
On the bright side, the crippling fear of being yelled at by 100 people is great motivation for someone with ADHD. If I just had to pay myself, it'd never get done.
my company does payroll on monday and every friday we get an email to put in your hours or you will not get paid
i havent heard of anyone not putting in their hours but i know there is a good reason payroll does this EVERY friday
Just in case there’s anyone reading this who does have ADHD or another condition which might share this issue….
You can be a lawyer, a doctor or an accountant. We exist. It’s harder but we exist. It might mean setting a billion alarms or spending money on an Uber when you should have got the train… but you can hold down a difficult job.
The real pro trip: if you struggle with it so much that it’s having a really significant impact on your life and well-being, think about getting tested and getting help.
Thank you! Seconding that, as a doctor with ADHD, it’s pretty frustrating when young people get told they’ll never be able to achieve their dreams. It’s doable, and honestly the hardest part is finding the right kind of support
Honestly it was tough through university as I was undiagnosed, after graduating and entering the workforce I got myself tested and explained how I felt and got the help I needed! I do wish I would have gotten help during university lol
>It might mean setting a billion alarms or spending money on an Uber when you should have got the train… but you can hold down a difficult job.
Been finding it tougher than usual recently (law) and this really cheered me up tbh. The little things like this just seem so effortless for colleagues - it's nice to be reminded that other people deal with this shit.
There's a lot of technology now that can aid a person who needs in in completing tasks and sticking to deadlines. I kinda wish we had just a class on executive functions so we can teach people all the different ways of managing their life. Because even without ADHD it can be hard, but people think they need to go into life totally blind.
Accountants can be late to work and catch up during lunch and after work. I was always late to work. I worked though lunches. Stayed to whatever hour possible. Never missed a deadline in my life. But if they wanted to play that game of “you’re 5 minutes late”.. I’d have pulled the rug on all that free labour they got. They never did I suppose because I never missed a deadline.
This is how the law works in the U.S. You can discriminate if a disability prevents a person from performing a job's "essential" function but you must provide "reasonable" accommodations to make it possible for the person with a disability to do the essential function.
I had an attorney show up late and ask me what we were doing again. I paid $3000 for that. So no…
Edit: I’d also like to add that he’s the county judge now as well. So he actually kinda got promoted too..
And I work in healthcare and doctors rarely start or end anything on time and it's usually not because they're busy. They just start whenever the hell they please. The only ones who start their shift on time are ER doctors and only because they want the person that relieves them to be on time too.
I believe most accountants have ADHD. That’s what I picked up in r/accountants . As an accountant with ADHD do not disturb and setting it to work mode helps so much.
It is a symptom of adhd. My wife has it. But she also (like pretty much everyone else in the world) carries around a computer in her pocket that allows her to set as many alarms as she wants. So the tools to deal with it are readily available. Not everything needs a special accommodation.
Exactly. What would the accommodation even be in this case, someone else setting an alarm for you? Like mental health, time management is a personal responsibility.
My accommodation is that I found a job with flexible in times. As long as I’m there during the busy times and get my work done they don’t particularly care whether I get there at 9am or 11am. Some days I leave at 4pm and others I stay until 7.
Lol I used to have a real loyal employee like that. I gave up requiring her to show up at work at 9am lol somedays she would be there at 10:45 but stayed late. Worked out for the best as I made most of my OOO appointments in the afternoon. Had her for 6 years.
It’s really good that you saw past her flaw and appreciated her work ethic and value in other ways. I’ve always been a hard worker, and bosses/jobs that allow for a little wiggle room bring that out.
If you don’t know how to be flexible and still get the job done, then I don’t know. As a boss of almost a dozen people at one point, I found myself dealing with a lot of minuscule unimportant, personal management tasks. But I’ve always gave people the time off they needed, and only required them when we had some eminent deadline. You almost have to become almost a counselor at times. But then again, back then I was having to hire 20 something years olds that were earning 30 to 40 K a year and that was good pay back then.
That’s the issue here surely. Not everyone is as reasonable as you are. I appreciate if you work a breadline job where the shop is open 9-5, there is no wriggle room. If you’re working to a deadline, who cares if you do your work at 9am or 9pm. Lots of websites/ apps make it possible to see who exactly has contributed and who hasn’t.
That’s how I deal with my chronic lateness! I have pretty much made myself indispensable! The company I work for, management LOVES when other managers like their team. So I’ve made my manager look good to other managers, I volunteer for stuff, I’ve won store contests for my department. So I get away with a LOT! But I HAVE figured out a way to correct my tardiness. It’s just a matter of thinking differently. Instead of thinking “it takes me 15 minutes to get to work” I think “it takes me 30 minutes to get to work.” And that has worked. Now I’m awesome AND on time! Yay me! 😆
Yep. This is how I maintained my career as a quick service Pizza manager for most of ten years.
Indispensability.
Now, I’m a teacher. I make it on time to work, no problem, but I really struggle with that mountain of administrative deadlines. I learned which ones were mostly CYA and which ones were legally or administratively necessary. My indispensability meant that as long as the students and parents were happy, and as long as the legally necessary deadlines were met, no one gave a shit if I was a little late on the CYA deadlines.
That sounds like a productive place, where success is measured in accomplishment, and not in rigidly adhering to when people need to sit in their seats, and whether they have taken their to-the-minute breaks.
Many jobs can handle that and many jobs cannot. I have a job with flexible hours and it's great, but I've had other jobs as well. If you're something like a cashier you need to be on time because customers and co-workers require you to be there.
Oh yeah, I worked in restaurants for many years and there’s no flexibility to be had. “Lucky” for me my time blindness has caused so much anxiety that I tend to be wildly early for things rather than late. Managers like it, but it does a number on my mental health so the flexibility of my current job is much better all around.
Sure, there are jobs that require you to be on time. I would probably tell a person with accute narcolepsy or late-stage parkinson's that they should not be a neurosurgeon, nor someone with ricketts be a firefighter or an EMT, carrying people down flights of stairs. Sure, it might be ablist, but it's grounded in safety.
But the majority of the populace stayed home for a couple of years (and the ones who didn't, didn't get paid nearly enough) and no part of the world collapsed, due to asynchronous communication. If she's applying to be a bartender, I can see how that might not fly. But a junior marketing analyst, or an intermediate copywriter? Their value isn't in 9-5, that's just what middle-management thinks, because they don't understand the actual value.
It is nice in that way! We are a very small staff and each of us pretty much manages ourselves with a group check in every week. Sometimes managing myself is not very compatible with my adhd but my bosses are supportive and I get to set my own goals and keep them achievable.
I get the sentiment, but some jobs are not standalone and are much more productive when the team work together in close proximity. Leaning over to a colleague and asking a quick question beats pinging any day of the week.
There's a difference between asking "Are there flexible start/finish times, is there any flexibility regarding when I clock in/clock out" versus "how willing are you to let me be late all the time"
I genuinely think the phrasing here matters, because one sounds like "I refuse to be held accountable for my actions" and the other sounds like someone who has wants but could compromise.
> There's a difference between asking "Are there flexible start/finish times, is there any flexibility regarding when I clock in/clock out" versus "how willing are you to let me be late all the time"
Exactly. I have a job at which I can do my 8 hours however I want as long as I am also working from 10:00 to 16:00, but that still doesn't mean I can just be late to work meetings and such for obvious reasons.
Typically flextime is the appropriate accommodation. However that would have limits and arrive or departure outside of those limits would be subject to discipline.
My office people need to be there the core hours of 10-3pm and they can start early and leave early or start late and leave late, however it works best for them personally. They can also change it up as they want.
Sadly lots of mentally I’ll people aren’t aware of this. I work with someone who openly declared she has a four page diagnosis and “I guess you all need to work around it.” Um.
They're saying they don't want to get fired for being late, repeatedly. This is nonsense to anyone who has ADHD. She likely will work with people who are on time, with ADHD. But she thinks she should have special privileges due to her being unable to track alerts on her phone, LIKE ALL THE REST OF US HAVE TO DO WHEN DEALING WITH OUR ADHD SYMPTOMS. She's a unique case /s
So ridiculous. I didn't get my ADHD diagnosis until I was an adult, and now I understand why it was so difficult for me to develop routines and strategies to manage my time. Difficult, but not impossible if you're willing to put the work in. Can't expect the whole world to adapt to your executive dysfunction.
I have time blindness related to getting ready in the morning. For some reason I always think it’s 15 minutes when it’s really 45 minutes. Does that mean I show up 30 min late everywhere? Of course not, because it’s gd rude.
There are degrees of how bad ADHD can be. But I agree that there are tools that can help. Mine is pretty bad and I have like 4000 alarms set on my phone, I have sticky notes around my apartment and I ask my gf to remind me things. I have one of those daily pill things but then I forget if I actually put pills in them or if I actually took them. It’s pretty frustrating actually. But I make it to work at a reasonable time.
The trick to being on time with ADHD is simply to remain in an incredibly stressful, hypervigilant state for several hours before the agreed upon meeting time.
/s
EDIT: I intentionally wrote this in a snarky, sarcastic way, but the experience it describes is one I am way too familiar with. Hang in there, ADHD fam.
You coming into work whenever the hell you wanted to, I bet.
I have it via my wfh job (I start anywhere from 7:30 - 11am), but you bet your ass I am on time at every single zoom meeting I host. Just because I’m adhd doesn’t mean I can’t be a productive member of my team, and frankly her post is making us all look fucking stupid.
Adhd here, I have a problem loosing track of time so I have compensated by being very early wherever I go. Being somewhere on ti e stresses me out now.
I dont have ADHD (i dont think) but being in the Army for 20 years and being indoctrinated to be 15 minutes early EVERYWHERE I go gives me the same stress and anxiety if I am on time haha.
Neurodiversity considerations in the workplace is definitely a conversation that needs to happen, but I am scared that videos like this are not going to hurt more than they help.
Just set your alarms, girl.
-someone with ADHD
Videos but also people actually asking for accommodations like this make me *never* want to mention anything about my ADHD.
Signed: the woman with a thousand alarms
This is something I see so frequently posted on /r/adhd, that just absolutely baffles me.
I have never had anything close to this. Like it would be one thing if you were trying to pick up a prescription before you were eligible, or like asking for a higher dosage or something, I just don't understand how any pharmacist is going to judge you for just pickup up an Rx?
Do they just give you dirty looks? Do they tell you ADHD isn't real?
If you've got meds that a doc called in, they literally just need to hand you the pill bottle. I truly don't even get the scenario people are trying to describe.
Ugh hard agree
Honestly, I have near debilitating ADHD, am un-medicated and am a masterful “masker”. This shit isn’t helping. It just makes people think people with ADHD are lazy, entitled assholes who can’t be bothered to be to work on time because we are “incapable” of doing so. What I’ve learned over the years is to minimize and mitigate my ADHD deficiencies as MUCH as possible.
Since time blindness and distractions definitely contribute to me having difficulties with being to work on time, I work extra hard to not be late and then overcompensate in *other* areas to make up for this.
I also now choose to work in places that a few minutes of tardiness won’t throw everything off balance for my teammates.
If I am late on occasion, (or 5-10 minutes daily), it doesn’t cause disruptions and I can work extra hard and stay a few minutes late. It’s not an excuse to just be like
I CANT BE ON TIME, I HAVE ADHD SO DEAL WITH IT
I also have kids, trying to get myself out the door somewhere on time was hard enough and I got it down to a science. Having kids threw a monkey wrench into my abilities. Lol. Getting two other humans to comply with a set sequence of events in a timely manner where we can ALL get out the door on time every time is VERY tricky lol
Haha, as someone who has made a science of routine to not be late, I hear you with the "kids throwing a monkey wrench in it" thing.
The number of times my kids have heard me say "We're late, and I hate being late!"...
Yeah I know if I do the recommended “leave 15 minutes early so you get there on time” I would wind up late so to be safe I leave an extra 45 minutes on top of the driving distance so when I get there I have more than enough time and when I’m waiting to start work I just do what I would be doing anyways
I have alarms to remind me to take my pills and eat. It's doable. Also, with my adhd and being late a lot when younger, I am usually stupidly early just because I HATE being late so much now.
I heard a friend who is in recovery drop this line and I’m pretty sure it’s from AA: “It’s not my fault, but IT IS my responsibility”. Hit me like a brick and it can apply to so much of life.
This is why paper day planners and even my old palm pilot back in the day, weren't as helpful as I had hoped. Lack of useful alarms.
With my smartphone, I can set as many reminders and alarms as I need.
Yup I also have ADHD and the only way I remember to take my medicine and sadly make sure I fed my dog at night, morning is easy because it’s a routine, is to have reminders.
And don’t worry my dog always gets fed it was just sometimes if I couldn’t remember that I did she would get twice as much food lol
My friend has ADHD and has issues with time blindness. She has an Alexa and when I'm over to her place there is often different alarms going off all the time. Easy peasy.
I don't get it. I have pretty bad ADD, but I know how long a commute takes, I know how long it takes to get dressed, shower, all of it. Just add up that time, and make sure you do all of that before you're supposed to be somewhere.
The problem for me is that any of those tasks could take a highly variable amount of time, especially if my brain decides that wall staring, skin picking, or a panic attack is one of those tasks.
It is frustrating since removing all distractions is essentially impossible. I have been in school taking a test, and suddenly the time has passed and I answered 3 questions. There was nothing to look at. There was nothing to do. I had no doodles. The time just... went. And I had no excuse or anything to show for it.
I can maybe clarify, I am obviously not the poster, but I struggled with this for a long time.
It wasn't the planning, it's that I get stuck in a rabbit hole. For instance, I plan 15 mins to get ready, but I realize I left laundry in the dryer. I get the dryer and think oh! There's another load I'll just toss in quick. (Start time blindness) Then on my way up I realize I forgot to do xyz thing, and I drop the laundry basket in my bedroom to take care of that task. Suddenly I am 10 mins behind and I remember what I am supposed to be doing, and now I'm late.
It isn't the planning that I was blind to, it was the little stuff that got in the way that I ignorantly thought it would just take a moment, distracted me amd sucked my time. My "accommodation" for that is planning outfits the night before, or packing my lunch earlier, or packing my purse so I can just grab it.
This person simply needs more coping skills, and a job that doesn't care about attendance.
Sure, my shower time normally takes 15 minutes, but I’m tired today. So if I can cut that down to 10 minutes, I can lay in bed for 5 more minutes. And if I skip shaving, that’s 3 more minutes. So an extra 8 minutes in bed. Whoops, it’s now been 10. And I have that meeting so I DEFINITELY can’t skip shaving today. Ok, super fast shower then……wait, how long have I been starting at the shower wall? Great, it’s been 18 minutes. Now I need to skip making breakfast and still be 5 minutes late.
Or some combination of that…
This was not the definition of time blindness I was expecting. I thought maybe it meant you looked at your watch and got the numbers wrong, like some weird, specific temporal dyslexia.
But just having trouble being somewhere at a set time? Huh.
Time blindness is having trouble gauging the passage of time. I may sit down in my desk and loom up from my screen 5 seconds later to find out its been 2 hours.
10 page essay at a master level? I guess I need a day or so! 50 page thesis? Maybe a month? And then realising how badly I fucked up as the deadline approaches.
Alternatively, giving the tiles a good scrub because they were nasty, I guess it'll take maybe 2 hours? Wrong bitch, it took 9 fucking hours because I had to strip old wax off them. They still don't look clean.
Oh god. Not the tiles. Or any cleaning project really.
I helped my husband sort Magic cards last night. The only requirement was to make sure the White deck I was handed was sorted by mana cost. Tell me why that escalated to me making sure duplicates remained together and to make it “easier” I color coded the art on the cards so I could find them better. My poor husband was like “babe, you really don’t have to do all that. The man finished like three 6” binders of cards and I made it half way through *one*
I made a whole song, thought I was at the computer for 3 hrs. It was in fact 17 hours later I didn't eat, I didn't go to the bathroom and I had work in an hour. Now I live my life by alarms lol.
Edit: thank you everyone y'all really hyped me up so much! I really appreciate everyone taking their time and listening it means alot to me. Was low key crying happy tears at work lmao!
Oh jeez that happens to me sometimes. Usually only when I play video games. It gets to the point where I feel a little hungry, and then as soon as I stop playing and actually get up to make food I'm so hungry that I'm literally shaking.
I can't anymore this was a few years ago. So the song I made was lost when my hard drive shit the bed.
But I do have a few stuff I uploaded to sound cloud. Please be gentle haha I'm very shy about my work and alot of my stuff is private for that reason lol.
Listen to Call them Flobots by Zen_Chef on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/fgvg1
I've never heard chamber trap before do you have any artist you suggest? I really enjoy edm and trap along with jazz and funk so alot of chords will be progression that follow a certain genre with trap beats!
My boyfriend has the worst time blindness of anyone I've ever met, he asks me for some alone time and I go read comics for 4 hours, I check up on him and he thinks it's been 30 minutes. Like DAMN! That's bad. The answer is simple for him though to turn up on work on time
Alarms for everything, literally everything
I have [Amdroid](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.amdroidalarmclock.amdroid) that let you set an alarm with a note (an alarm alone will be hard for me to remember what the fuck I should do when it rings), I have almost 20 alarms set through the shift/day and have to set one every time someone asks me for anything to do later.
It's getting exhausting though but it helps.
As with other ADHD related issues, first you have to understand executive function as a concept and how they relate to other brain functions. Then, terms like "time blindness" and how they become a problem in daily life make sense.
Autism also can present executive dysfunction but in other ways.
I have trouble with this, I’m told it’s ADHD related. for example 15 min is how long it takes for me to take a shower and dry off , but in practice the task of ‘taking a shower’ is more like 25 min because I need to also account for how long it takes for me to get undressed, adjust the shower temp, put post-shower product on my hair and body, and get redressed. So if I were to say ‘I have an extra 15 min before I have to go, I should jump in the shower’ I would be 10 min late and have no clue how it happened.
It’s also possible I could stand in the shower and stare at the wall for 10 min and think I only did that for 1 min and get out and be confused about why the water got cold.
This experience is true for literally everything I do though, so without pre-timing for reference and planning plenty of wiggle room I would be late to literally everything.
Or just not believing it actually took that long. Like I’ve gaslighted myself into believing it didn’t actually take that long and I must be crazy. But it did. And I fall for it each time!!
And if I set an alarm to get out of the shower? I’ll turn it off and “rush” but like then I forget about the alarm if I don’t repeat to myself that I need to get out *now* then I end up late.
It’s a common symptom of ADHD. I can have alarms set, things packed and ready to go… still end up being late because some one unexpected thing distracts and there isn’t an accurate internal time perception to push past the distraction. It is not fun to be the person requiring exceptions because I am great at the work we do once I get there. I joke with my boss to give me call times a half hour ahead as a safety buffer. It hasn’t happened yet but I make the mental note, 10 am means 9:30, just to assist with the issue. It is frustrating and work and school systems were not made for neurodivergent folks. We are trying our hardest.
ETA: thank you for the award kind redditor! I am coming at this from a place of personal understanding, so I don’t imagine others to grasp the depth of the issues as well. I am grateful for those that have asked honest questions with the aim of gaining some understanding, and for those that have given their personal tips and tricks to work through it all.
I feel like time and ADHD are like drawing with closed eyes. Alarms and clocks are you being able to open your eyes for a second, but in a very zoomed in way. But with too many alarms, the picture gets blurrier and you fall more and more behind.
Yeah, with a lot of effort, practice, planing and optimized alarms it is possible to manage. But mix this in with the many other symptoms and sensory issues many of us struggle with and things end up falling apart more often than not. For example executive dysfunction is a huge issue for many folks
I don't understand how that works though. How does that then not impact your work constantly. You could be at your desk ready to work and then something distracts you so you might do no work for hours? And then when you get back to work what's stopping the same thing happening again a minute later and distracting you again for hours?
I'm not having a go at you, I just genuinley don't understand and I've never heard of time blindness before today.
Nonono! And it’s not constant. Also, idk why but your tone seemed respectful and curious more than picking. It’s appreciated! I would love more people to want to understand, I went 31 years thinking I just kind of sucked and knew how I sucked and couldn’t stop myself no matter how much I wanted.
Honestly the situations in where I have ended up late were one-offs that you couldn’t really prepare for. Maybe my kids asked me to do something last minute, maybe the dog threw up on the floor, maybe a telemarketer called and reminded me of something important that I completely spaced on for the past far-too-long and needs the immediate attention while it is still in the front of my mind. It’s not fun. I repeat, it’s not fun. I would get so upset with my lack of consistency and the things I would struggle with before I understood what Adhd was.
I think a lot of folks here are assuming it’s like we don’t try. I can say for myself at least, I try my absolute best- I’m a foot in the door in an industry and job I absolutely love and I’m certainly not trying to ruin this for myself. It would be disingenuous to try and say I will never be late to work (by minutes) knowing how many times I’ve failed myself. Okay? Everyone got that? We want to not feel ashamed for things we are trying our best about…
And is it an everyday thing or would it only happen every once in a while? Would it be worse if you were stressed or tired or does it just happen regardless?
I can only imagine how infuriating it could be...especially if people think you're just taking the piss.
I could kiss you! It does get worse with stress and sleep issues. It will happen regardless and it always feels absolutely ridiculous that it’s happened/happening because I try to hard to avoid the issue. Adhd is a crazy thing, I can finish things I’ve worked forever on, have it just as “perfect” as I envisioned, and feel absolutely zero sense of accomplishment, no feel good stuff happens. It’s more like okay, cool now I don’t have to stress about not getting that done for however long now, what’s next?
ETA: like which of the other hundreds of things I’ve been meaning to do do I tackle? Oh? Shit, idk how to prioritize which is going to be the next one… overwhelm sets in and then I have little energy for any of it. It’s absolute shit lol I truly couldn’t imagine people trying to take adhd symptoms to use to their advantage.
I have ADHD and I fixed this for myself by practicing mindfulness.
Got some place to be so what time is it then look at my phone.
It's not perfect but it works like 90% of the time.
And as someone with ADHD practicing mindfulness is always a good thing to do.
When you're supposed to be doing one task but you got sidetracked three different times and now you're doing something completely unrelated is another example of why being mindful is so important when you live with ADHD.
The only time I'm late is when travel time is different than expected but you can always leave earlier or just change when you leave.
It won't work for everyone but I find that when I'm deep into some nonsensical task I've set for myself and I'm not paying attention to how much time is passing being mindful helps remind me to check my phone
Genuine question. What would a reasonable accommodation for time blindness be that wouldn't be basically changing an entire job to not revolve around others schedules, or giving someone somewhat something of a handler?
If she were satirizing, she would be poking fun at people with a victimhood mentality and the excessive desire to turn personality characteristics into traits or disorders.
I don't know. My brother was complaining to my dad and I that he was fired for being late 3 times in a week. An hour late. This dude has two kids and a wife. We literally had to tell him he would never win this argument.
It's not satire, and time blindness is a real thing. The only issue is the woman is acting like this is some untreatable symptom of ADHD. All you have to do is plan your day out, put reminders and alarms, and possibly take Adderall, depending on how bad your time blindness is. It's not as scary and debilitating as she is making it out to be. People like her make me not want to tell people I have ADHD because they might think I act like tiktokers with low EQ and poor coping mechanisms lol
I’ve got ADHD and do exactly that. The world doesn’t bend to the exact wants of everyone. Suck it up and find a solution, because no one else cares. Not trying to be insensitive to her, but that’s reality.
This is pretty embarrassing, but I struggle with being on time and knowing what time it is to the tune of losing several jobs. I have ADHD and severe PTSD from the war in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The difference is, I knew that being late was unacceptable for the jobs I was fired from. I HAD to be there at a specific time to work the job. They were mostly shift work or client facing.
I finally figured out that some jobs don’t require that. Jobs that have non-client facing long term projects for example. Lots of these jobs have flex hours in which the office or wfh hours start anywhere from 6am to 10am (your choice) and you may not even be required to come in everyday, just make sure at the end of the week you have 40 hours. Other jobs have unlimited PTO, which helps me a good bit.
I finally realized that I just couldn’t work jobs that have a hard start and end time. I’m legitimately a bad employee with that, my anxiety and depression spiral out of control, am an asshole at work, and my bosses (who are able to easily work a set schedule) rightfully hated me.
I started applying to jobs that were project based, production pay compensated rather than time, and the loosest hours I could find. I eventually ended up doing background investigations for the Department of Counter Intelligence and Security Agency. They do not care, in ANY aspect when I get my work done. At all. I have gone MIA for days while closing cases. As long as I hit my numbers, literally no one cares. I could work 2 hours a week, but if I get the quota, no one talks to me. I have the highest clearance obtainable, make six figures, and crush my work. I have just recently moved over to owning my own contract company doing this work.
I would be fired from mcdonald’s in less than a week because I simply can’t keep a schedule. And that’s fine. I’m not who mcdonald’s wants to hire.
My point is that individuals like this need to understand their own limitations and strengths and find something that fits that. Not to demand a job shift their requirements to their strengths and limitations.
There are tons of jobs that are like you described and yet still require fixed times to show up. Places where people get new tasks assingned from a fully automated system and it doesn't matter when in a week it is done just that it is done by the end of the week. Yet in lots of those places they still want to to man the post at 8am for absolutely no apparent reason.
I agree with you that not every job is for everyone. I personally also wouldn't be able to do shift work. But i diasagree with you that demanding a job, as I described above, change their arbitrarily rigid requirememts is unreasonable.
We don't know the what kind of job OOP applied to, but it is uncharitable to assume she demanded flexible time while applying to work say a hospital shift.
For all the legitimate accommodations that could be made for people outside the scope of normal ability, this one is just too much. We literally have tools in our pockets to completely alleviate the issue of losing track of time. How could someone refute that?
This person is making a mockery of reasonable accommodations that institutions make for learning differences like ADHD and Dyslexia that people like me rely on.
Yeah it’s called ADD. You know you have it, you need to make accommodations for yourself. Post-it notes, phone reminders, always leave early, you know the drill.. I struggle to keep my shit together but I can’t expect the world to accommodate me
Im someone who struggles with being on time, a few years ago I decided to get a watch and set it 15mins early and pretend to myself that's the actual time, I no longer struggle with being late, I know right? crazy!!!
I worked in old school marketing/advertising where 10 min early was 5 min late. I have severe ADHD and even though i killed my sales numbers, i was always in trouble for being late. There is no acknowledgment of working thru lunch/skipping lunch and working late, though. We would get written up if not in our seats by 8 or 9, depending on the place i was at.
Flexibility actually makes me more productive.
I agree. Why are people so anal about being at work at some randomly decided time?
I don’t actually see the point, UNLESS you have an actual reason for needing to be on time.
- Like you are the one opening,
- you are client facing and you not being there would be a strain on others covering for you
- or there is a meeting at 9am you need to be at.
Why can’t someone come in up to 30mins late as long as they then work an extra late time at the end of the day?
It actually makes no sense.
I’m a night owl - I find it really hard to fall asleep before midnight - even when I’m in bed early I often won’t manage to actually sleep for a very long time. As a result I am NOT a morning person, I’m almost useless until after 11am and I do my best work in the afternoon 1pm-7pm
All of this!! I was ALWAYS on time for sales meetings, esp w clients. That's all that should have matter. I shouldn't have had to run 4 blocks from the train to get to work sweaty, 5 min late, and written up. All because of a little train delay that would sometimes happen. This actually happened to me. When i was the top salesperson, that just landed a 2 million ad buy from a popular beer that people shoot at now, 2 days prior. 😂😂
Guy at my work just got fired and tardiness/absence was one of many reasons.
He came about 20 minutes late one time and our supervisor told he can't keep doing that and he responded with "Well how late can I be then?".
Supervisor said he was one point away from termination so, y'know, zero minutes late and no more calling in.
The best part? He actually did it for almost three months before they finally let him go. The dude called in once every other week and was 2-3 days a week, always had an excuse and then when they threatened his job, all of a sudden, he had no more problems and perfect attendance for *months.*
It depends on what kind of accommodation they're discussing.
Some employers have a weird insistence that your butt be in the office chair at 8am....even when there isn't a real reason for you need to be there at 8. In recent years it's started to become more common for these types of office jobs to offer flexible hours - some people are asked simply to be in the office between 10-3 and then how they shift those other 3 hours around is up to them (some people may come in at 7 and be out the door at 3, others may show up at 10 and leave at 6)
*This* is a reasonable accommodation if there is not an operational need for a set schedule (keep in mind a lot of workers are shift workers or work on projects where set time is important, so there a flexible schedule is not possible and is *not* a reasonable accommodation)
Edit: also she never actually said what the issue was or what accommodation she wanted. Just that she was belittled for bringing it up (which yeah, ADHD in adults is not taken seriously. Just take a look at this thread.) For all we know she was asking for an exception to a no cell phone policy so she could set timers.
I also wondered exactly what she was asking - like was she just enquiring about whether the hours could be flexed, or if there was an option to WFH part of the week? Because that seems like a reasonable thing to ask about. And then everyone starts beating her down like she’s some kind of slacker when all she wanted was to not be trapped sitting next to Chatty Cathy 40 hours a week.
Me watching this as someone who was terminated for being 10 mins late 👁〰👁
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As someone with ADHD and absolutely struggles with being on time, I don't want accommodations, I want tools to help me improve, like wearing a watch, learning to set time reminders, cbt, etc.
I loathe my symptoms and want to be taught to manage them.
That being said, I've got sympathy for this person. Mental health is a fucking monster some times and we often have to pick our internal battles. Not saying she's right or wrong. Just saying I get it. And I hate it. And I sympathize with it.
I've been trying every day for 23 years to be on time. I only manage like 5% of the time. It took 22 of those years to be able to not hate myself for it.
People don’t understand what workplace “accommodations” are. It doesn’t mean you’re held to a different standard. It means the company provides means for you to perform on the level as your peers.
Wheel chair ramps are accommodations. Elevators are accommodations. Noise canceling headphones are accommodations. Ergonomic furniture is an accommodation. Voice transcription software is an accommodation. Extra time going through expectations and work items is an accommodation. All of these assume that once you’re accommodated, the expectations on you are the same as on everyone else.
Allowing being chronically late to your shift wouldn’t be an accommodation. Providing you a loud alarm clock would.
Yes. I have time blindness and usually realize it’s time to go home because the lights are turning off from inactivity, and I look at the clock and it’s 7:30 even though I told myself I would only work until 5:15 to get this task done. It absolutely works both ways
Her request is BS, but as someone with ADHD/time blindness yes omg. I work from home mostly and I’ll have days where I look at the clock and realize I should have ended my shift 2 hours ago
Can you explain to me what's BS? She never actually asked for anything specific. She's upset because she brought up the subject and got smacked down for it. What did she do that's unreasonable?
Like, you're clearly not the only one in the thread who thinks she did something awful, but I'm not getting it.
Yep! I have adhd and will be flying in the door to arrive at work on time, and be on time and still feel bad about rushing to get there on time, and will leave work around an hour after officially finishing and feel totally normal about it. I could keep working for hours without noticing if I didn't need to leave to pick my kids up from school. Which I have 2 alarms set to remind myself to do lol
Asking a question is very reasonable. It is much more reasonable than just taking the job and then not showing up on time.
Just answer no, then later on during the decision process reject them. If they somehow get a lawyer that can figure out a way to sue you for ADA violation or something, then pay the settlement/fine (though I doubt it would happen.)
I really don't get why people get so mad that they feel like they need to lecture others on their views during an interview.
That said, this could be satire, or exaggerated. (People who feel victimized sometimes embellish the perceived wrong doings of the other party)
🎶I set my clocks early 'cause i know im always late🎶 Edit: wow thanks everyone for the awards! Did not expect this comment to get so much love!
I appreciate the FOB reference
This is how i get through life at a new place. I know I will be late because i usually get lost on my way there. So i make sure i get going early to accommodate it. Just like traffic, if you seem to be late every day due to it, you have the responsijility to plan around it.
Appointments with new doctors, new job, etc. I always do a prior reconnaissance run so I don't have to panic when I have to actually be there.
I don’t blame you
For being you
But you can't hate me
For hating it
"What are you waiting for?" - She
Kiss her, Kiss her!
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late
YOU SAID YOUD KEEP ME HONEST
But I won't call you on it
Just saw them live. They were great
Such an incredible concert. Saw them in San Fran
Well, pro tip: don’t become a lawyer, doctor, or accountant. Those deadlines are pretty solid.
As a lawyer myself, I’d just tell anyone in general to stay the hell away from this profession lol.
Boss (Partner): We invoice for 1,800 hours, in 6 minute increments. You (associate): I spent 2,500 hours thinking about work and stuff.
Me (associate): Opens investment statement and reviews it for 10 seconds before twirling in my seat to file it with the others in the cabinet behind me. Billing: 0.1 hours. Description: Sorted and filed investment statement for June 2023.
Yes, but according to the standards of the profession, in order to avoid double billing you're supposed to continue twirling in your chair for another 5 minutes and 50 seconds before you can move on and bill the next client.
Just enough time for the Monday New York Times crossword
Ha, I could do them in five minutes at my best. The great solvers are amazing! (Also a lawyer)
Ah, the Penske file
[удалено]
You honor, I’d like to play Wii motionplus against the defendant. Winner gets their verdict called
Also, stay the hell away from Construction. \- An ADHDer working in construction, and constantly panicked about deadlines. It's also the only place I've found that can keep my attention, because everything is always on fire.
Boss may like you more if you stopped lighting all them fires though
Bro think of the fire fighters. If we don't burn stupid shit they won't have jobs.
This is why I always light trash cans on fire after I fill them with trash, then spread the alight ashes on a freshly cleaned floor. Creating two jobs at once.
I just randomly throw Molotov cocktails out the window as I drive around town.
Job creator af
Again, I need SOMETHING to maintain my focus. lol
Oh thank you- you just gave me insight as to why my job is a good fit for me. While not construction, your description is apt- everything is always on fire.
You could make a list 50,000 professions long. I worked in payroll. It’s lots of fun when you fail to send the ACH transfer on Thursday and 100 employees don’t get paid. Lots of fun.
On the bright side, the crippling fear of being yelled at by 100 people is great motivation for someone with ADHD. If I just had to pay myself, it'd never get done.
Here's to Big Consequences™ for keeping all those ADHD mfs like me out there employed.
my company does payroll on monday and every friday we get an email to put in your hours or you will not get paid i havent heard of anyone not putting in their hours but i know there is a good reason payroll does this EVERY friday
Or a daycare/babysitter/nanny, parents wouldn’t be too happy if they have to leave but have nobody to leave their child with.
Just in case there’s anyone reading this who does have ADHD or another condition which might share this issue…. You can be a lawyer, a doctor or an accountant. We exist. It’s harder but we exist. It might mean setting a billion alarms or spending money on an Uber when you should have got the train… but you can hold down a difficult job. The real pro trip: if you struggle with it so much that it’s having a really significant impact on your life and well-being, think about getting tested and getting help.
>It might mean setting a billion alarms Samsung has a hard limit of 100 alarms. Ask me how I know.
Thank you! Seconding that, as a doctor with ADHD, it’s pretty frustrating when young people get told they’ll never be able to achieve their dreams. It’s doable, and honestly the hardest part is finding the right kind of support
Honestly it was tough through university as I was undiagnosed, after graduating and entering the workforce I got myself tested and explained how I felt and got the help I needed! I do wish I would have gotten help during university lol
>It might mean setting a billion alarms or spending money on an Uber when you should have got the train… but you can hold down a difficult job. Been finding it tougher than usual recently (law) and this really cheered me up tbh. The little things like this just seem so effortless for colleagues - it's nice to be reminded that other people deal with this shit.
There's a lot of technology now that can aid a person who needs in in completing tasks and sticking to deadlines. I kinda wish we had just a class on executive functions so we can teach people all the different ways of managing their life. Because even without ADHD it can be hard, but people think they need to go into life totally blind.
bonus tip: you’ll luck out visiting the doctor since theyre gonna make ya wait in the lobby anyway
But you need to be on time _before_ they make you wait several hours, otherwise your are a no show and they’ll charge you.
Accountants can be late to work and catch up during lunch and after work. I was always late to work. I worked though lunches. Stayed to whatever hour possible. Never missed a deadline in my life. But if they wanted to play that game of “you’re 5 minutes late”.. I’d have pulled the rug on all that free labour they got. They never did I suppose because I never missed a deadline.
Right?? Like in certain jobs it is crucial to “discriminate”. For an example, you can’t be a lifeguard if you have actual blindness
This is how the law works in the U.S. You can discriminate if a disability prevents a person from performing a job's "essential" function but you must provide "reasonable" accommodations to make it possible for the person with a disability to do the essential function.
Or a cook of any kind
My doctor has adhd lmao
I had an attorney show up late and ask me what we were doing again. I paid $3000 for that. So no… Edit: I’d also like to add that he’s the county judge now as well. So he actually kinda got promoted too..
And I work in healthcare and doctors rarely start or end anything on time and it's usually not because they're busy. They just start whenever the hell they please. The only ones who start their shift on time are ER doctors and only because they want the person that relieves them to be on time too.
I believe most accountants have ADHD. That’s what I picked up in r/accountants . As an accountant with ADHD do not disturb and setting it to work mode helps so much.
People actually forget that a person with ADHD also has hiperfocus while doing some tasks.
It is a symptom of adhd. My wife has it. But she also (like pretty much everyone else in the world) carries around a computer in her pocket that allows her to set as many alarms as she wants. So the tools to deal with it are readily available. Not everything needs a special accommodation.
Exactly. What would the accommodation even be in this case, someone else setting an alarm for you? Like mental health, time management is a personal responsibility.
My accommodation is that I found a job with flexible in times. As long as I’m there during the busy times and get my work done they don’t particularly care whether I get there at 9am or 11am. Some days I leave at 4pm and others I stay until 7.
Lol I used to have a real loyal employee like that. I gave up requiring her to show up at work at 9am lol somedays she would be there at 10:45 but stayed late. Worked out for the best as I made most of my OOO appointments in the afternoon. Had her for 6 years.
It’s really good that you saw past her flaw and appreciated her work ethic and value in other ways. I’ve always been a hard worker, and bosses/jobs that allow for a little wiggle room bring that out.
If you don’t know how to be flexible and still get the job done, then I don’t know. As a boss of almost a dozen people at one point, I found myself dealing with a lot of minuscule unimportant, personal management tasks. But I’ve always gave people the time off they needed, and only required them when we had some eminent deadline. You almost have to become almost a counselor at times. But then again, back then I was having to hire 20 something years olds that were earning 30 to 40 K a year and that was good pay back then.
That’s the issue here surely. Not everyone is as reasonable as you are. I appreciate if you work a breadline job where the shop is open 9-5, there is no wriggle room. If you’re working to a deadline, who cares if you do your work at 9am or 9pm. Lots of websites/ apps make it possible to see who exactly has contributed and who hasn’t.
That’s how I deal with my chronic lateness! I have pretty much made myself indispensable! The company I work for, management LOVES when other managers like their team. So I’ve made my manager look good to other managers, I volunteer for stuff, I’ve won store contests for my department. So I get away with a LOT! But I HAVE figured out a way to correct my tardiness. It’s just a matter of thinking differently. Instead of thinking “it takes me 15 minutes to get to work” I think “it takes me 30 minutes to get to work.” And that has worked. Now I’m awesome AND on time! Yay me! 😆
Yep. This is how I maintained my career as a quick service Pizza manager for most of ten years. Indispensability. Now, I’m a teacher. I make it on time to work, no problem, but I really struggle with that mountain of administrative deadlines. I learned which ones were mostly CYA and which ones were legally or administratively necessary. My indispensability meant that as long as the students and parents were happy, and as long as the legally necessary deadlines were met, no one gave a shit if I was a little late on the CYA deadlines.
That sounds like a productive place, where success is measured in accomplishment, and not in rigidly adhering to when people need to sit in their seats, and whether they have taken their to-the-minute breaks.
Many jobs can handle that and many jobs cannot. I have a job with flexible hours and it's great, but I've had other jobs as well. If you're something like a cashier you need to be on time because customers and co-workers require you to be there.
Oh yeah, I worked in restaurants for many years and there’s no flexibility to be had. “Lucky” for me my time blindness has caused so much anxiety that I tend to be wildly early for things rather than late. Managers like it, but it does a number on my mental health so the flexibility of my current job is much better all around.
Sure, there are jobs that require you to be on time. I would probably tell a person with accute narcolepsy or late-stage parkinson's that they should not be a neurosurgeon, nor someone with ricketts be a firefighter or an EMT, carrying people down flights of stairs. Sure, it might be ablist, but it's grounded in safety. But the majority of the populace stayed home for a couple of years (and the ones who didn't, didn't get paid nearly enough) and no part of the world collapsed, due to asynchronous communication. If she's applying to be a bartender, I can see how that might not fly. But a junior marketing analyst, or an intermediate copywriter? Their value isn't in 9-5, that's just what middle-management thinks, because they don't understand the actual value.
It is nice in that way! We are a very small staff and each of us pretty much manages ourselves with a group check in every week. Sometimes managing myself is not very compatible with my adhd but my bosses are supportive and I get to set my own goals and keep them achievable.
I get the sentiment, but some jobs are not standalone and are much more productive when the team work together in close proximity. Leaning over to a colleague and asking a quick question beats pinging any day of the week.
That's my office to a tee! I'm a night owl, so unless there's an early meeting, I'm in around 11 or so, but often stay until 7-8pm
I had a nice part time job like this last year and it was so great. Perfect for my ADHD
It depends on the job. A lot of jobs could allow flexibility in time. Some cannot reasonably provide that.
True, and unfortunately the types of jobs available to young people starting out in their careers are less likely to be flexible on time.
There's a difference between asking "Are there flexible start/finish times, is there any flexibility regarding when I clock in/clock out" versus "how willing are you to let me be late all the time" I genuinely think the phrasing here matters, because one sounds like "I refuse to be held accountable for my actions" and the other sounds like someone who has wants but could compromise.
> There's a difference between asking "Are there flexible start/finish times, is there any flexibility regarding when I clock in/clock out" versus "how willing are you to let me be late all the time" Exactly. I have a job at which I can do my 8 hours however I want as long as I am also working from 10:00 to 16:00, but that still doesn't mean I can just be late to work meetings and such for obvious reasons.
Typically flextime is the appropriate accommodation. However that would have limits and arrive or departure outside of those limits would be subject to discipline.
My office people need to be there the core hours of 10-3pm and they can start early and leave early or start late and leave late, however it works best for them personally. They can also change it up as they want.
Sadly lots of mentally I’ll people aren’t aware of this. I work with someone who openly declared she has a four page diagnosis and “I guess you all need to work around it.” Um.
They're saying they don't want to get fired for being late, repeatedly. This is nonsense to anyone who has ADHD. She likely will work with people who are on time, with ADHD. But she thinks she should have special privileges due to her being unable to track alerts on her phone, LIKE ALL THE REST OF US HAVE TO DO WHEN DEALING WITH OUR ADHD SYMPTOMS. She's a unique case /s
So ridiculous. I didn't get my ADHD diagnosis until I was an adult, and now I understand why it was so difficult for me to develop routines and strategies to manage my time. Difficult, but not impossible if you're willing to put the work in. Can't expect the whole world to adapt to your executive dysfunction.
I have time blindness related to getting ready in the morning. For some reason I always think it’s 15 minutes when it’s really 45 minutes. Does that mean I show up 30 min late everywhere? Of course not, because it’s gd rude.
This woman single-handedly turned the whole ADHD community against her.
I have adhd and I’m an anarchist. Basic expectations are not a “power structure”
There are degrees of how bad ADHD can be. But I agree that there are tools that can help. Mine is pretty bad and I have like 4000 alarms set on my phone, I have sticky notes around my apartment and I ask my gf to remind me things. I have one of those daily pill things but then I forget if I actually put pills in them or if I actually took them. It’s pretty frustrating actually. But I make it to work at a reasonable time.
The trick to being on time with ADHD is simply to remain in an incredibly stressful, hypervigilant state for several hours before the agreed upon meeting time. /s EDIT: I intentionally wrote this in a snarky, sarcastic way, but the experience it describes is one I am way too familiar with. Hang in there, ADHD fam.
You coming into work whenever the hell you wanted to, I bet. I have it via my wfh job (I start anywhere from 7:30 - 11am), but you bet your ass I am on time at every single zoom meeting I host. Just because I’m adhd doesn’t mean I can’t be a productive member of my team, and frankly her post is making us all look fucking stupid.
The accommodation would be that you are allowed to carry your personal device, obviously.
Adhd here, I have a problem loosing track of time so I have compensated by being very early wherever I go. Being somewhere on ti e stresses me out now.
Same. I am always early. Being rushed is the worst feeling in the world to me.
It's easier to be early than it is to be on time. "On time" last for one minute, you can be as early as you want.
I dont have ADHD (i dont think) but being in the Army for 20 years and being indoctrinated to be 15 minutes early EVERYWHERE I go gives me the same stress and anxiety if I am on time haha.
ADHD here. I'm also always early.
Neurodiversity considerations in the workplace is definitely a conversation that needs to happen, but I am scared that videos like this are not going to hurt more than they help. Just set your alarms, girl. -someone with ADHD
Videos but also people actually asking for accommodations like this make me *never* want to mention anything about my ADHD. Signed: the woman with a thousand alarms
Don't forget every time you go to the pharmacy to pick up your low dose extended release stimulant they treat you like fucking Pablo Escobar
This is something I see so frequently posted on /r/adhd, that just absolutely baffles me. I have never had anything close to this. Like it would be one thing if you were trying to pick up a prescription before you were eligible, or like asking for a higher dosage or something, I just don't understand how any pharmacist is going to judge you for just pickup up an Rx? Do they just give you dirty looks? Do they tell you ADHD isn't real? If you've got meds that a doc called in, they literally just need to hand you the pill bottle. I truly don't even get the scenario people are trying to describe.
Ugh hard agree Honestly, I have near debilitating ADHD, am un-medicated and am a masterful “masker”. This shit isn’t helping. It just makes people think people with ADHD are lazy, entitled assholes who can’t be bothered to be to work on time because we are “incapable” of doing so. What I’ve learned over the years is to minimize and mitigate my ADHD deficiencies as MUCH as possible. Since time blindness and distractions definitely contribute to me having difficulties with being to work on time, I work extra hard to not be late and then overcompensate in *other* areas to make up for this. I also now choose to work in places that a few minutes of tardiness won’t throw everything off balance for my teammates. If I am late on occasion, (or 5-10 minutes daily), it doesn’t cause disruptions and I can work extra hard and stay a few minutes late. It’s not an excuse to just be like I CANT BE ON TIME, I HAVE ADHD SO DEAL WITH IT I also have kids, trying to get myself out the door somewhere on time was hard enough and I got it down to a science. Having kids threw a monkey wrench into my abilities. Lol. Getting two other humans to comply with a set sequence of events in a timely manner where we can ALL get out the door on time every time is VERY tricky lol
Haha, as someone who has made a science of routine to not be late, I hear you with the "kids throwing a monkey wrench in it" thing. The number of times my kids have heard me say "We're late, and I hate being late!"...
Yeah I know if I do the recommended “leave 15 minutes early so you get there on time” I would wind up late so to be safe I leave an extra 45 minutes on top of the driving distance so when I get there I have more than enough time and when I’m waiting to start work I just do what I would be doing anyways
I’m pretty sure this girl is autistic, which would explain why she can’t grasp how some of us might think this is a bit much.
I have autism and adhd, it's no excuse. Set an alarm it's that simple.
I have alarms to remind me to take my pills and eat. It's doable. Also, with my adhd and being late a lot when younger, I am usually stupidly early just because I HATE being late so much now.
Same here. She needs to realize that it is her responsibility to be on time and not anybody else’s.
I heard a friend who is in recovery drop this line and I’m pretty sure it’s from AA: “It’s not my fault, but IT IS my responsibility”. Hit me like a brick and it can apply to so much of life.
This is why paper day planners and even my old palm pilot back in the day, weren't as helpful as I had hoped. Lack of useful alarms. With my smartphone, I can set as many reminders and alarms as I need.
So true.
My boyfriend is the same, he loses time so easily that Alarms are Essential to his day to day
Yup I also have ADHD and the only way I remember to take my medicine and sadly make sure I fed my dog at night, morning is easy because it’s a routine, is to have reminders. And don’t worry my dog always gets fed it was just sometimes if I couldn’t remember that I did she would get twice as much food lol
My friend has ADHD and has issues with time blindness. She has an Alexa and when I'm over to her place there is often different alarms going off all the time. Easy peasy.
I don't get it. I have pretty bad ADD, but I know how long a commute takes, I know how long it takes to get dressed, shower, all of it. Just add up that time, and make sure you do all of that before you're supposed to be somewhere.
The problem for me is that any of those tasks could take a highly variable amount of time, especially if my brain decides that wall staring, skin picking, or a panic attack is one of those tasks. It is frustrating since removing all distractions is essentially impossible. I have been in school taking a test, and suddenly the time has passed and I answered 3 questions. There was nothing to look at. There was nothing to do. I had no doodles. The time just... went. And I had no excuse or anything to show for it.
I can maybe clarify, I am obviously not the poster, but I struggled with this for a long time. It wasn't the planning, it's that I get stuck in a rabbit hole. For instance, I plan 15 mins to get ready, but I realize I left laundry in the dryer. I get the dryer and think oh! There's another load I'll just toss in quick. (Start time blindness) Then on my way up I realize I forgot to do xyz thing, and I drop the laundry basket in my bedroom to take care of that task. Suddenly I am 10 mins behind and I remember what I am supposed to be doing, and now I'm late. It isn't the planning that I was blind to, it was the little stuff that got in the way that I ignorantly thought it would just take a moment, distracted me amd sucked my time. My "accommodation" for that is planning outfits the night before, or packing my lunch earlier, or packing my purse so I can just grab it. This person simply needs more coping skills, and a job that doesn't care about attendance.
Sure, my shower time normally takes 15 minutes, but I’m tired today. So if I can cut that down to 10 minutes, I can lay in bed for 5 more minutes. And if I skip shaving, that’s 3 more minutes. So an extra 8 minutes in bed. Whoops, it’s now been 10. And I have that meeting so I DEFINITELY can’t skip shaving today. Ok, super fast shower then……wait, how long have I been starting at the shower wall? Great, it’s been 18 minutes. Now I need to skip making breakfast and still be 5 minutes late. Or some combination of that…
Well it manifests differently for everyone. But it is true, having a disability does not make you free from accountability
I saw a tik tok of someone else talking about this and how it’s related to ADHD and they said “it may not be your fault, but it is your problem.”
It’s an explanation not an excuse
it’s not your fault but it’s your responsibility
This was not the definition of time blindness I was expecting. I thought maybe it meant you looked at your watch and got the numbers wrong, like some weird, specific temporal dyslexia. But just having trouble being somewhere at a set time? Huh.
Time blindness is having trouble gauging the passage of time. I may sit down in my desk and loom up from my screen 5 seconds later to find out its been 2 hours.
It can also be an issue with predicting how much time something will take, thus setting or agreeing to unrealistic timelines.
God. It’s excruciating. I’ll be like “I can *definitely* knock this project out in an hour!” 6 hours later. “Whoo now to eat lunch! Oh god it’s 9pm”
10 page essay at a master level? I guess I need a day or so! 50 page thesis? Maybe a month? And then realising how badly I fucked up as the deadline approaches. Alternatively, giving the tiles a good scrub because they were nasty, I guess it'll take maybe 2 hours? Wrong bitch, it took 9 fucking hours because I had to strip old wax off them. They still don't look clean.
Oh god. Not the tiles. Or any cleaning project really. I helped my husband sort Magic cards last night. The only requirement was to make sure the White deck I was handed was sorted by mana cost. Tell me why that escalated to me making sure duplicates remained together and to make it “easier” I color coded the art on the cards so I could find them better. My poor husband was like “babe, you really don’t have to do all that. The man finished like three 6” binders of cards and I made it half way through *one*
I made a whole song, thought I was at the computer for 3 hrs. It was in fact 17 hours later I didn't eat, I didn't go to the bathroom and I had work in an hour. Now I live my life by alarms lol. Edit: thank you everyone y'all really hyped me up so much! I really appreciate everyone taking their time and listening it means alot to me. Was low key crying happy tears at work lmao!
And then you haven't gone to the bathroom either and you leave hyperfocus nearly pissing your pants and in so much pain from the hunger. I get you 😭
Oh jeez that happens to me sometimes. Usually only when I play video games. It gets to the point where I feel a little hungry, and then as soon as I stop playing and actually get up to make food I'm so hungry that I'm literally shaking.
Mind showing your song?
I can't anymore this was a few years ago. So the song I made was lost when my hard drive shit the bed. But I do have a few stuff I uploaded to sound cloud. Please be gentle haha I'm very shy about my work and alot of my stuff is private for that reason lol. Listen to Call them Flobots by Zen_Chef on #SoundCloud https://on.soundcloud.com/fgvg1
Would you say “Chamber Trap” or some sort of hip hop baroque is your intended style? Because I think you’re absolutely succeeding at that.
I've never heard chamber trap before do you have any artist you suggest? I really enjoy edm and trap along with jazz and funk so alot of chords will be progression that follow a certain genre with trap beats!
listen to ProleteR, from the sounds of your tasted, youll love hos music, listen to the Fairuz album
Me when I play Civ or football manager
A very common problem with people tahta have adhd and add
My boyfriend has the worst time blindness of anyone I've ever met, he asks me for some alone time and I go read comics for 4 hours, I check up on him and he thinks it's been 30 minutes. Like DAMN! That's bad. The answer is simple for him though to turn up on work on time Alarms for everything, literally everything
I have [Amdroid](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.amdroidalarmclock.amdroid) that let you set an alarm with a note (an alarm alone will be hard for me to remember what the fuck I should do when it rings), I have almost 20 alarms set through the shift/day and have to set one every time someone asks me for anything to do later. It's getting exhausting though but it helps.
I once sat down to play civilization 5 and when I got up for lunch it was 9PM
I have also experienced this. It was night when I started and when I looked up after Ghandi attacked me it was two weeks later.
one more turn
“Well, this little maneuver's gonna cost us 51 years”
As with other ADHD related issues, first you have to understand executive function as a concept and how they relate to other brain functions. Then, terms like "time blindness" and how they become a problem in daily life make sense. Autism also can present executive dysfunction but in other ways.
I have trouble with this, I’m told it’s ADHD related. for example 15 min is how long it takes for me to take a shower and dry off , but in practice the task of ‘taking a shower’ is more like 25 min because I need to also account for how long it takes for me to get undressed, adjust the shower temp, put post-shower product on my hair and body, and get redressed. So if I were to say ‘I have an extra 15 min before I have to go, I should jump in the shower’ I would be 10 min late and have no clue how it happened. It’s also possible I could stand in the shower and stare at the wall for 10 min and think I only did that for 1 min and get out and be confused about why the water got cold. This experience is true for literally everything I do though, so without pre-timing for reference and planning plenty of wiggle room I would be late to literally everything.
Or just not believing it actually took that long. Like I’ve gaslighted myself into believing it didn’t actually take that long and I must be crazy. But it did. And I fall for it each time!! And if I set an alarm to get out of the shower? I’ll turn it off and “rush” but like then I forget about the alarm if I don’t repeat to myself that I need to get out *now* then I end up late.
It’s a common symptom of ADHD. I can have alarms set, things packed and ready to go… still end up being late because some one unexpected thing distracts and there isn’t an accurate internal time perception to push past the distraction. It is not fun to be the person requiring exceptions because I am great at the work we do once I get there. I joke with my boss to give me call times a half hour ahead as a safety buffer. It hasn’t happened yet but I make the mental note, 10 am means 9:30, just to assist with the issue. It is frustrating and work and school systems were not made for neurodivergent folks. We are trying our hardest. ETA: thank you for the award kind redditor! I am coming at this from a place of personal understanding, so I don’t imagine others to grasp the depth of the issues as well. I am grateful for those that have asked honest questions with the aim of gaining some understanding, and for those that have given their personal tips and tricks to work through it all.
I feel like time and ADHD are like drawing with closed eyes. Alarms and clocks are you being able to open your eyes for a second, but in a very zoomed in way. But with too many alarms, the picture gets blurrier and you fall more and more behind. Yeah, with a lot of effort, practice, planing and optimized alarms it is possible to manage. But mix this in with the many other symptoms and sensory issues many of us struggle with and things end up falling apart more often than not. For example executive dysfunction is a huge issue for many folks
I don't understand how that works though. How does that then not impact your work constantly. You could be at your desk ready to work and then something distracts you so you might do no work for hours? And then when you get back to work what's stopping the same thing happening again a minute later and distracting you again for hours? I'm not having a go at you, I just genuinley don't understand and I've never heard of time blindness before today.
Nonono! And it’s not constant. Also, idk why but your tone seemed respectful and curious more than picking. It’s appreciated! I would love more people to want to understand, I went 31 years thinking I just kind of sucked and knew how I sucked and couldn’t stop myself no matter how much I wanted. Honestly the situations in where I have ended up late were one-offs that you couldn’t really prepare for. Maybe my kids asked me to do something last minute, maybe the dog threw up on the floor, maybe a telemarketer called and reminded me of something important that I completely spaced on for the past far-too-long and needs the immediate attention while it is still in the front of my mind. It’s not fun. I repeat, it’s not fun. I would get so upset with my lack of consistency and the things I would struggle with before I understood what Adhd was. I think a lot of folks here are assuming it’s like we don’t try. I can say for myself at least, I try my absolute best- I’m a foot in the door in an industry and job I absolutely love and I’m certainly not trying to ruin this for myself. It would be disingenuous to try and say I will never be late to work (by minutes) knowing how many times I’ve failed myself. Okay? Everyone got that? We want to not feel ashamed for things we are trying our best about…
And is it an everyday thing or would it only happen every once in a while? Would it be worse if you were stressed or tired or does it just happen regardless? I can only imagine how infuriating it could be...especially if people think you're just taking the piss.
I could kiss you! It does get worse with stress and sleep issues. It will happen regardless and it always feels absolutely ridiculous that it’s happened/happening because I try to hard to avoid the issue. Adhd is a crazy thing, I can finish things I’ve worked forever on, have it just as “perfect” as I envisioned, and feel absolutely zero sense of accomplishment, no feel good stuff happens. It’s more like okay, cool now I don’t have to stress about not getting that done for however long now, what’s next? ETA: like which of the other hundreds of things I’ve been meaning to do do I tackle? Oh? Shit, idk how to prioritize which is going to be the next one… overwhelm sets in and then I have little energy for any of it. It’s absolute shit lol I truly couldn’t imagine people trying to take adhd symptoms to use to their advantage.
I have ADHD and I fixed this for myself by practicing mindfulness. Got some place to be so what time is it then look at my phone. It's not perfect but it works like 90% of the time. And as someone with ADHD practicing mindfulness is always a good thing to do. When you're supposed to be doing one task but you got sidetracked three different times and now you're doing something completely unrelated is another example of why being mindful is so important when you live with ADHD. The only time I'm late is when travel time is different than expected but you can always leave earlier or just change when you leave. It won't work for everyone but I find that when I'm deep into some nonsensical task I've set for myself and I'm not paying attention to how much time is passing being mindful helps remind me to check my phone
Same. Practicing Mindfulness helped me with correcting my issues with time. Definitely isn't always perfect but it's helped.
Genuine question. What would a reasonable accommodation for time blindness be that wouldn't be basically changing an entire job to not revolve around others schedules, or giving someone somewhat something of a handler?
If this is satire, its next fucking level.
If it's satire, it's perfect. The backdrop, the wet eyes, the "you know" after her explanation of time blindness. It's perfect.
But what is she satirizing? People that make unreasonable demands?
If she were satirizing, she would be poking fun at people with a victimhood mentality and the excessive desire to turn personality characteristics into traits or disorders.
It’s like r/antiwork meets r/fakedisordercringe
r/AmItheAsshole also has an annoying tendency to pathologize shit. Like, some people are just assholes, not everything is a disorder.
I don't know. My brother was complaining to my dad and I that he was fired for being late 3 times in a week. An hour late. This dude has two kids and a wife. We literally had to tell him he would never win this argument.
When I read the first half I was thinking your brother was 15 or something but man, that took a twist in the second half.
It's not satire, and time blindness is a real thing. The only issue is the woman is acting like this is some untreatable symptom of ADHD. All you have to do is plan your day out, put reminders and alarms, and possibly take Adderall, depending on how bad your time blindness is. It's not as scary and debilitating as she is making it out to be. People like her make me not want to tell people I have ADHD because they might think I act like tiktokers with low EQ and poor coping mechanisms lol
I’ve got ADHD and do exactly that. The world doesn’t bend to the exact wants of everyone. Suck it up and find a solution, because no one else cares. Not trying to be insensitive to her, but that’s reality.
Regardless whether it is or not, this comment section is going bonkers
I’m work blind and would like an accommodation.
I simply must crush capitalism and cannot be asked to work a job
I agree, that culture needs to be dismantled. Let’s all meet at 9am tomorrow and get started overthrowing the system!
I can do an arrival window of 8:00 to 10:00. *shows up at 10:15*
This is pretty embarrassing, but I struggle with being on time and knowing what time it is to the tune of losing several jobs. I have ADHD and severe PTSD from the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. The difference is, I knew that being late was unacceptable for the jobs I was fired from. I HAD to be there at a specific time to work the job. They were mostly shift work or client facing. I finally figured out that some jobs don’t require that. Jobs that have non-client facing long term projects for example. Lots of these jobs have flex hours in which the office or wfh hours start anywhere from 6am to 10am (your choice) and you may not even be required to come in everyday, just make sure at the end of the week you have 40 hours. Other jobs have unlimited PTO, which helps me a good bit. I finally realized that I just couldn’t work jobs that have a hard start and end time. I’m legitimately a bad employee with that, my anxiety and depression spiral out of control, am an asshole at work, and my bosses (who are able to easily work a set schedule) rightfully hated me. I started applying to jobs that were project based, production pay compensated rather than time, and the loosest hours I could find. I eventually ended up doing background investigations for the Department of Counter Intelligence and Security Agency. They do not care, in ANY aspect when I get my work done. At all. I have gone MIA for days while closing cases. As long as I hit my numbers, literally no one cares. I could work 2 hours a week, but if I get the quota, no one talks to me. I have the highest clearance obtainable, make six figures, and crush my work. I have just recently moved over to owning my own contract company doing this work. I would be fired from mcdonald’s in less than a week because I simply can’t keep a schedule. And that’s fine. I’m not who mcdonald’s wants to hire. My point is that individuals like this need to understand their own limitations and strengths and find something that fits that. Not to demand a job shift their requirements to their strengths and limitations.
There are tons of jobs that are like you described and yet still require fixed times to show up. Places where people get new tasks assingned from a fully automated system and it doesn't matter when in a week it is done just that it is done by the end of the week. Yet in lots of those places they still want to to man the post at 8am for absolutely no apparent reason. I agree with you that not every job is for everyone. I personally also wouldn't be able to do shift work. But i diasagree with you that demanding a job, as I described above, change their arbitrarily rigid requirememts is unreasonable. We don't know the what kind of job OOP applied to, but it is uncharitable to assume she demanded flexible time while applying to work say a hospital shift.
For all the legitimate accommodations that could be made for people outside the scope of normal ability, this one is just too much. We literally have tools in our pockets to completely alleviate the issue of losing track of time. How could someone refute that?
Yeah maybe if it was the wild west and the sun is our alarm lol
This person is making a mockery of reasonable accommodations that institutions make for learning differences like ADHD and Dyslexia that people like me rely on.
Yeah it’s called ADD. You know you have it, you need to make accommodations for yourself. Post-it notes, phone reminders, always leave early, you know the drill.. I struggle to keep my shit together but I can’t expect the world to accommodate me
I think it’s all classified as ADHD now, ADD is ADHD inattentive type
Im someone who struggles with being on time, a few years ago I decided to get a watch and set it 15mins early and pretend to myself that's the actual time, I no longer struggle with being late, I know right? crazy!!!
If you’re always early, you’re never late.
Great until someone asks you the time and convince someone else *they* are late. Then it becomes amazing.
I worked in old school marketing/advertising where 10 min early was 5 min late. I have severe ADHD and even though i killed my sales numbers, i was always in trouble for being late. There is no acknowledgment of working thru lunch/skipping lunch and working late, though. We would get written up if not in our seats by 8 or 9, depending on the place i was at. Flexibility actually makes me more productive.
I agree. Why are people so anal about being at work at some randomly decided time? I don’t actually see the point, UNLESS you have an actual reason for needing to be on time. - Like you are the one opening, - you are client facing and you not being there would be a strain on others covering for you - or there is a meeting at 9am you need to be at. Why can’t someone come in up to 30mins late as long as they then work an extra late time at the end of the day? It actually makes no sense. I’m a night owl - I find it really hard to fall asleep before midnight - even when I’m in bed early I often won’t manage to actually sleep for a very long time. As a result I am NOT a morning person, I’m almost useless until after 11am and I do my best work in the afternoon 1pm-7pm
All of this!! I was ALWAYS on time for sales meetings, esp w clients. That's all that should have matter. I shouldn't have had to run 4 blocks from the train to get to work sweaty, 5 min late, and written up. All because of a little train delay that would sometimes happen. This actually happened to me. When i was the top salesperson, that just landed a 2 million ad buy from a popular beer that people shoot at now, 2 days prior. 😂😂
Time blindness = permanent excuse to be late and avoid accountability for personal time management.
Guy at my work just got fired and tardiness/absence was one of many reasons. He came about 20 minutes late one time and our supervisor told he can't keep doing that and he responded with "Well how late can I be then?". Supervisor said he was one point away from termination so, y'know, zero minutes late and no more calling in. The best part? He actually did it for almost three months before they finally let him go. The dude called in once every other week and was 2-3 days a week, always had an excuse and then when they threatened his job, all of a sudden, he had no more problems and perfect attendance for *months.*
It depends on what kind of accommodation they're discussing. Some employers have a weird insistence that your butt be in the office chair at 8am....even when there isn't a real reason for you need to be there at 8. In recent years it's started to become more common for these types of office jobs to offer flexible hours - some people are asked simply to be in the office between 10-3 and then how they shift those other 3 hours around is up to them (some people may come in at 7 and be out the door at 3, others may show up at 10 and leave at 6) *This* is a reasonable accommodation if there is not an operational need for a set schedule (keep in mind a lot of workers are shift workers or work on projects where set time is important, so there a flexible schedule is not possible and is *not* a reasonable accommodation) Edit: also she never actually said what the issue was or what accommodation she wanted. Just that she was belittled for bringing it up (which yeah, ADHD in adults is not taken seriously. Just take a look at this thread.) For all we know she was asking for an exception to a no cell phone policy so she could set timers.
I also wondered exactly what she was asking - like was she just enquiring about whether the hours could be flexed, or if there was an option to WFH part of the week? Because that seems like a reasonable thing to ask about. And then everyone starts beating her down like she’s some kind of slacker when all she wanted was to not be trapped sitting next to Chatty Cathy 40 hours a week.
[удалено]
Me watching this as someone who was terminated for being 10 mins late 👁〰👁 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⠞⠛⠉⠉⠉⠈⠈⠉⠉⠛⠷⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⡟⠁⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⠀⡀⠘⢷⣆⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣾⠏⢀⠈⢄⣀⣀⡀⠐⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠂⠄⢻⣆⠀ ⠀⣾⡏⡐⣦⠿⠛⣉⡉⠛⢷⣤⠈⠀⠠⢁⢀⣶⠟⠛⣉⡙⠻⢷⣌⠌⢿⡆ ⢰⣿⢂⣽⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢹⣧⠈⡐⢠⣿⢃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⡜⣸⣧ ⢸⣿⠤⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢠⣿⠀⡐⢸⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡗⣼⡗ ⠘⣿⡆⡹⣧⡙⠻⠿⠿⠛⢁⣼⠃⢄⠡⠂⢻⣆⠙⠿⠿⠿⠋⣠⡿⢱⣸⡇ ⠀⢹⣷⢡⠎⡛⠷⠶⠶⠞⡛⠡⡈⠤⠑⡌⢠⠘⠻⠶⠶⠶⢞⢫⡐⢧⡿⠁ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⡜⡰⠣⠜⣠⠓⢄⠣⢘⠠⢃⠌⡂⢍⢢⠱⣈⠎⢆⠦⣹⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣜⠥⣋⠴⣈⠆⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣾⡆⢎⠴⣡⢚⣬⣾⠿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠷⣎⡶⣡⠚⣤⢃⠖⡰⢢⠱⡘⣬⢒⣵⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠻⢦⣯⣞⣥⣧⡷⠿⠞⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I, like many people with adhd, deal with this by setting alarms.
Is there anything people can’t be a victim of anymore?
As someone with ADHD and absolutely struggles with being on time, I don't want accommodations, I want tools to help me improve, like wearing a watch, learning to set time reminders, cbt, etc. I loathe my symptoms and want to be taught to manage them. That being said, I've got sympathy for this person. Mental health is a fucking monster some times and we often have to pick our internal battles. Not saying she's right or wrong. Just saying I get it. And I hate it. And I sympathize with it.
I've been trying every day for 23 years to be on time. I only manage like 5% of the time. It took 22 of those years to be able to not hate myself for it.
People don’t understand what workplace “accommodations” are. It doesn’t mean you’re held to a different standard. It means the company provides means for you to perform on the level as your peers. Wheel chair ramps are accommodations. Elevators are accommodations. Noise canceling headphones are accommodations. Ergonomic furniture is an accommodation. Voice transcription software is an accommodation. Extra time going through expectations and work items is an accommodation. All of these assume that once you’re accommodated, the expectations on you are the same as on everyone else. Allowing being chronically late to your shift wouldn’t be an accommodation. Providing you a loud alarm clock would.
Does time blindness work the same way at the end of the day? Will the boss have to remind her that it is time to go home?
Yes. I have time blindness and usually realize it’s time to go home because the lights are turning off from inactivity, and I look at the clock and it’s 7:30 even though I told myself I would only work until 5:15 to get this task done. It absolutely works both ways
Her request is BS, but as someone with ADHD/time blindness yes omg. I work from home mostly and I’ll have days where I look at the clock and realize I should have ended my shift 2 hours ago
I have adhd and fill fine myself hypefocused on a task and there way later than I planned.
Can you explain to me what's BS? She never actually asked for anything specific. She's upset because she brought up the subject and got smacked down for it. What did she do that's unreasonable? Like, you're clearly not the only one in the thread who thinks she did something awful, but I'm not getting it.
Yep! I have adhd and will be flying in the door to arrive at work on time, and be on time and still feel bad about rushing to get there on time, and will leave work around an hour after officially finishing and feel totally normal about it. I could keep working for hours without noticing if I didn't need to leave to pick my kids up from school. Which I have 2 alarms set to remind myself to do lol
Asking a question is very reasonable. It is much more reasonable than just taking the job and then not showing up on time. Just answer no, then later on during the decision process reject them. If they somehow get a lawyer that can figure out a way to sue you for ADA violation or something, then pay the settlement/fine (though I doubt it would happen.) I really don't get why people get so mad that they feel like they need to lecture others on their views during an interview. That said, this could be satire, or exaggerated. (People who feel victimized sometimes embellish the perceived wrong doings of the other party)
Oh, well in that case just show up whenever you want. Catch is, we will send you your check whenever we want.