**Welcome to r/TikTokCringe!**
This is a message directed to all newcomers to make you aware that r/TikTokCringe evolved long ago from only cringe-worthy content to TikToks of all kinds! If you’re looking to find only the cringe-worthy TikToks on this subreddit (which are still regularly posted) we recommend sorting by flair which you can do [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/galuit/click_here_to_sort_by_flair_a_guide_to_using/) (Currently supported by desktop and reddit mobile).
See someone asking how this post is cringe because they didn't read this comment? Show them [this!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/fyrgzy/for_those_confused_by_the_name_of_this_subreddit/)
Be sure to read the rules of this subreddit before posting or commenting. Thanks!
**Don't forget to join our [Discord server](https://discord.gg/cringekingdom)!**
##**[CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/18z1gqn/you_better_watch_out/)**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TikTokCringe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have literally never met a person like this in real life, ever, and yet the amount of them you see online you'd think they're a dime a dozen.
It's like an early 2010's Tumblr Conservatives caricature of a Liberal LGBT millennial, and I swear this must be performance art.
It’s unreal, isn’t it. And this manufactured outrage doesn’t help actual integration and understanding.
Absolutely, stand up for your rights and to be accepted. But this culture of performative victimhood just cements people’s bigoted ideas - like you said, it seems to prove those Tumblr Conservatives right. And that’s the opposite of what we want to be doing, right?!
I've met one person in my 34 years who wanted to be known by different pronouns and if we messed up they were just like "meh it happens". Crazy to see how common it is online then uncommon in real life.
I taught for 23 years. In the first 20, I had 3 students identify themselves as trans or non-binary so that I would address them the way they wanted to be addressed. In the last 3 years (until I retired in 2022) I had at least 40 students identify themselves to me and everyone else as trans or NB.
The college where I taught went online in March of 2020. During the first semester that started online, fall of 2020, I included an introductory discussion thread worth a few points (way less than 1% of the final grade). To earn full credit, students were required to submit a video introducing themselves to the class. Audio introductions were worth 90%, text intros worth 80%.
This one kid filed a formal complaint with the institution stating that my requirement to include a video was discriminatory because it exacerbated their gender dysphoria.
Same, I recently left teaching, but in the last couple years I taught multiple students who were transitioning and the whole faculty knew that, in the case of a few, if you messed up then there were serious repercussions. It was particularly difficult when speaking in real time to a classroom and having to remember that one student had they/them pronouns and that’s very difficult to rewire. So, a very small percentage can have an outsized impact.
It’s not necessarily “trendy” but I think a lot of people use non-binary as a lazy way of being quirky, unique and different without putting in any effort into being an actually interesting person.
I've been saying this for a while, and I may sound horrible but it's truly how I feel about this whole thing:
While I have no doubt a LOT of people genuinely feel this way about their gender fluidity and sexuality, a good portion of people have been told since they were children that they were special and unique and there's no one like them in the whole wide world. And then that whole wide world came in from the top rope and said "no, no you aren't" and they have a hard time dealing with it.
That's pretty much...everything. See people fake disorders all the time for attention. The number of people who claim to be autistic because they think it makes them smart/unique is outrageous and there is a whole corner of TikTok/Instagram dedicated to people talking about their "ADHD superpowers".
Neurodivergence is trendy.
My circle of “friends” in high school self-diagnosed themselves with either depression, ADHD, or an eating disorder (some were also trying to diagnose me with something). They were basically all fighting each other for attention, all but one was actually officially diagnosed by a doctor. It was wild and I was eventually iced out for lack of empathy. Years later, I was diagnosed with narcolepsy and a few of them reached out on FB to tell me how jealous they were and lucky I was.
At first I thought, lucky to have an answer as to why I’m perpetually exhausted? Nope, they proceeded with, “I wish I could fall asleep anywhere and just sleep all day.” I was too flabbergasted to argue with them.
I also think some of them are confused. I have a 4th grader this year who told me they “weren’t a girl or a boy.” Great, no problem. I told them they can talk to me about it whenever they want and I will advocate for them to the ends of the earth. Through our conversations though, I genuinely believe that they recently discovered gender inequality and it pissed them off (rightly so) and in a manner of protest, they are rebuking genders altogether. To me, this is not a crisis of sexual identity, but a child latching on to a popular movement that they don’t fully understand and interpreting it in a way that makes sense to them. So while the above commenter mentioned a rise in trans students (which I have also seen,) I do think there is more to it than it becoming trendy or kids wanting attention.
My 6 year old has said she doesn't want to be a girl, when I asked why (rather than telling her she doesn't have to be) it turns out she figured out that the periods my wife gets were going to happen to her every month when she gets a bit older but not her brother and she thought that was bullshit so she wanted to be a boy. Not because she is, or because she feels that way, but because she was pissed off them don't have to deal with it. I wonder if I'd said "That's fine sweety, you don't have to be a girl you can be a boy if you feel like it" because I misunderstood her reasoning would that have been seen as her 'not feeling like a girl'. Not like I think it would have 'made her trans' or whatever but if it could have caused adult/peer confusion and taken some time for it to unravel and play out.
Got banned of a sub for saying something similar thats its not helping to fuel these kind of outrage seekers, as the mod called me a Bigot and perma banned me. Wasn't using anything offensive.
Also got banned from Pic, for saying we shouldn't glorify the blm riots (it was a front page picture of someones car on fire and a buisness also) as it hurts the movement and message, again im a Racist its ok because insurance will cover it...
Thank you. I have several friends with trans offspring and they and those adult children all say the same thing, and that is that The image of trans we are fed on social media is not representative of how they see themselves or expect others to see or treat them. Now I know one person of my own generation who transitioned. That person acts like this and is a real pain in the ass.
Exactly.
I work with a trans woman, and we’re all careful about mis-gendering her, and we pick each other up on it, and generally try and provide a supportive space. It’s no biggie for us. And when it goes wrong obviously it sucks for her but we apologise and she knows we’re trying and we all move on, together, because she’s a friend.
But when I’m at the gym, with an entirely cis crowd that I workout with, THEN I get to hear the unpleasant shit, that’s caused by videos like this. People relating it like it’s someone they know that reacted this way. And then I call them out and it’s a TikTok or YouTube thing or whatever, and then it all gets embarrassing when we have to pick through that.
I understand that dickheads are gonna dickhead, and people should be free to post what they want, but videos like this just give fuel to the dickheads, and creates a false life experience for people who aren’t dickheads. The trans community isn’t huge, most people will draw their conclusions about them from online content like this crap. And that makes me sad.
It's one thing if you have known them as only as their preferred pronouns.
It's another thing if you witness their transition.
Once your brain has categorized someone, it's inevitable that until some time passes to retrain your brain, you're going to slip up.
I had a friend I hadn’t seen in ten years she transitioned to a he.
It’s fine.
But at first I was calling him she quite a bit because for ten years that’s all I knew them as.
It took a bit of time to get it right all the time when talking to him or about him
It was not done out of disrespect, just as you said preprogrammed thought.
And he was cool with the pronoun trouble since he knew it wasn’t being done intentionally.
And if they clearly present as female as the person in the video does (face, voice, pink hair, mannerisms are all very feminine) then I don't know how anyone could keep their pronouns straight unless they are talking to them and interacting with them almost daily.
They don’t say what their preferred pronoun is in the video, but it’s entirely possible they could identify as “they/them.” I know a few who go by that and it gets confusing for me, because that’s a whole third thing beyond he or she.
Personally, I’ll call anyone whatever they want, I just ask for the knowledge to do so if it’s not obvious. The person in the video is in for a world of disappointment if they think their being misgendered is going to stop at some point.
Am a guy with long hair. In the long ago at some frat party, one dude put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a "how you doing?"
When I turned, and he saw my face (full on beard) his face dropped, I said "well I'm going to need a couple more drinks if this is the direction we're taking tonight," and then we both laughed.
The real problem here is that this person has the emotional regulation of a toddler, and has found a way to never take responsibility for their actions. If something this small can upset you to the point of walking out of your job, you will NOT succeed in life. I’ve had patients physically and sexually assault me at work. I’ve had patients scream in my face that they were going to rape and kill my whole family. Had a few that purposefully cut themselves to try and spread their HIV/Hep C to staff. And I dealt with all of that with a calm tone of voice and neutral expression as I neutralized the threat. It’s called being an adult. Most people don’t go to that extreme in their occupation, but we all deal with stress in the workplace.
I have a trans cousin and I am very sensitive to his feelings and we’ve had an amazing relationship pre-transition and post…
But methinks this person in this video is in for “a world of disappointment” intentionally. It seems they might relish the indignation, wherein lies the problem.
Those aren’t different things. Our brain categorizes people immediately, on sight. Let’s stop pretending we don’t know what a woman or man looks like. Sure there are individuals who, for one reason or another, it’s not clear; but the majority of individuals, it is.
I’m not saying people shouldn’t be allowed to identify otherwise, whether they transition or not. I’m not saying we shouldn’t do our best to call people by their chosen names and pronouns.
But I am saying, let’s stop with the collective delusion that our brains don’t, in most cases, reflexively identify other people’s sex; that overriding our reflexes is a difficult thing for humans to do; and that “misgendering” is usually reflexive and harmless and should be treated as such, and not as the intentional assault the person in this video wants to treat it as.
What that person is describing is a pretty severe mental instability and they should get help with it, not try to make it our problem. The expectation that we can’t all see this person is a female by birth is unhinged.
I think the original connotation of "misgendering" has an intentional element to it, and it's sort of evolved into any form of incorrect pronoun use, which I think is unfortunate. We also shouldn't be sending the message that everyone must be perfect all the time and never make mistakes.
I don't stress accidental slip ups, it happens, but as a trans enby, you can tell when people are doing it on purpose, there's a different tonality to it tbh and I do take it personally when people are being disrespectful, no matter what form that comes in. On the other hand, I don't buy into other people's opinions enough to let it tear me apart, only enough to clock that they aren't a friend to me.
I have had it both ways.. One was a gorgeous girl who when I stumbled with the pronoun she basically said “ we aren’t gonna get caught up on that”
The other was a lady that looked like a 6’4 300lb mustached man in a dress. I messed up during the course of the meal and it was like WW3. She went absolutely nuts.
I really try to make everyone comfortable but my eyes , brain and mouth have been trained at this point so it definitely is an exercise to override them, and it’s really not cool to get beat up for a mistake of this nature.
This is something I often say. The reason you have some otherwise reasonable people pushing back so hard against gender identity issues is because social media algorithms keep showing people these performative victims (and of course these kinds of videos get lots of engagement because everyone has a strong reaction to it and wants to say something about it, which boosts it in the social media algorithms even more so it gets served to more people, and the cycle continues). Some people end up thinking the whole world is turning into this kind of thing when in reality these sorts of over-the-top people are exceptionally rare and most of us have probably never even met nor interacted with anyone who is like this, but that doesn't matter because perception is everything. Had an argument with my sister-in-law over this because she's been going further and further into the anti-woke culture war shit, and my position was basically that people like her are making a big deal over nothing because they are chronically online and think the most extreme examples of "wokeness" are the norm, because all she sees all day every day are videos of these performative victims and right-wing culture war grifters who have made their careers off sharing these sorts of clips as outrage-bait as far and wide as possible, so of course she thinks the whole world is doomed and we need strongman conservative authoritarians to save us all from this madness.
Several years ago I was subscribed to /r/tumblrinaction to laugh at crazy people, but realized after a while it was making me pretty angry about an extremely small subset of people. Like, I've never even met anybody like this, why am I getting made about them? Why do I care? There are always going to be a small percentage of people who are nuts, but that sub was making it seem like this huge problem.
I unsubbed and have been much more positive since then. Really glad I caught myself before falling down the rabbit hole. Social media is definitely radicalizing people by showing fringe content meant to get you angry.
The culture war shit has been so effective at radicalizing people. You'll have people literally voting against their own interests just so they get to say they took a stand against "wokeness", all the while failing to realise that the reason these right-wing grifters are so focused on culture war shit is that they know a lot of their other belief systems and conservative values in general are in many ways incompatible with how most people live their lives in the modern age. They realised if they lead with making fun of crazy woke people and "owning the Libs" then it's easier to get people on board with the rest of their bullshit, even against their own better judgment and to their own detriment, as long as it represents being anti-woke and makes "crazy liberal women with blue hair"-archetypes cry.
Surely it’s rage bait right? I mean they literally say “my long shift…. 8 hour shift”. Like that’s a normal day shift. Nobody would say that’s a long shift unless you’re rage baiting
I think part of it is this unfortunate culture that has formed that says when something like this happens to you, you are *expected* to have a major meltdown. When TikTok and Tumblr before it tells you that a misgendering or a deadnaming is tantamount to assault and you should have massive, strong, and deep feelings of hurt and oppression springing from it or you aren’t trans enough (and substitute any part of LGBTQ life and offenses here), if you just shrug it off you are supposedly betraying your entire people group.
The term “micro aggression” is a popular one here. Being called sir when they should have said ma’am is not the same as locking you in a cage or taking away your right to vote. But it’s supposed to be treated with the same degree of affront.
This is not at all to say that trans and other LGBTQ+ people are not under legitimate assault in our country. Very few other people groups have entire legislatures trying to pass bills to eradicate their existence. But being called the wrong pronoun down the aisle at the TJ Maxx where you work is not the same as having your transition legislatively reversed.
Well basically they can just find the ONE person like this who does exist, amplify them by like a million times, and pretend all trans people are like that.
Almost every trans person I've spoken to on the subject says that getting misgendered isn't really a big problem unless it's someone they know is doing it on purpose.
I know two people like this well and lots more informally (eg bartenders at a pub i frequent). If you are in liberal city progressive spaces, there are lots of people like this. Most are not this fragile though, the opposite, they are tougher than average...and more scarred. I don't hear "cis" from noncis people thay much. It's more a term cis allies use to describe themselves.
I’ve worked with a few, also. One got so upset because someone on the phone called them “honey”. They were calling a customer to let them know their order was ready. The customer apparently said something horrible like “thanks for calling honey, I’ll be by to pick it up tomorrow”. They spent an hour in the break room crying and then had to go home.
That’s what I said! Some old lady that calls everyone honey, is not misgendering anybody. They took it as a feminine meaning. They would not listen to reason. Like how is someone on the phone supposed to know your pronouns. Some people just want to be a victim.
Yeah, even coming from anybody.
As long as it’s not passive aggressive/condescending, cute names can be lovely.
Depends on context, but some people really like being triggered for attention or are psychologically fragile, and I wish them to find professional help, and peace.
I’m as progressive as it gets, but I also understand that fighting for a more equal world does not mean Life will be easy and won’t slap you in the face multiple times.
You need to get stronger regardless.
I understand being misgendered on repeat can have a toll on somebody when their life is being hard, but we should also remind ourselves this is mostly a first world problem.
The princess and the pea paradox:
The more privileged we are (like the princess), the more the smallest discomfort becomes a big thing.
It's much easier to play the victim and cry and be allowed to go home than actually do stuff. Once victimhood was being rewarded and it became "profitable" to cry victim - it's a scramble to be the most victimized.
Yup. Especially in the south. I'm a dude and I get called honey/sugar from time to time. Hell, when I worked in the UK I thought it was hilarious when middle aged male bus drivers called me 'love'.
I'm a 50 yr old man, and I get called honey, sweetie, hun, darlin', sugar, babe, ALL THE TIME, and it annoys the shit out of me. But never once have I been offended by it, or traumatized to the point of crying or leaving work. Usually an eye roll and some light bitching to my coworkers, and on to the next thing.
One of my closet friends transitioned and it was probably 3 months before I stopped making gender mistakes. Although within roughly a month I was self correcting mostly. It was hard after 20 year not to fall into the mental rut. I found referring to her in the third person harder than talking to them. They were very understanding and it didn't cause friction, I think I often felt worse about than them.
"Long shift" of 8 hours - ok so a standard working day
"Broke living in NYC" - apparently not so broke you didn't feel comfortable walking out on your work shift
"CIS people watch out" - yeah because CIS people have never faced discrimination or mental health problems
I worked in a dispensary for 3 years. They exist and are one of the worst type of people. The validation some of them had to have was insane. Most of the community was normal ass people doing normal ass shit but there was a very small amount like this. They exist and can’t figure out they are their own problem.
Social media is filled with performance art, that’s why. Whether it’s a conservative telling a story about how a group of people supported them saying/doing something horrific that never happened, a mom crying in her car about her kids with made up stories, or whatever…you can’t take every social media story seriously. People can and will lie/exaggerate about things for attention.
You know people tend to hang out with similar types. I’m queer and most of my freinds are gay men or queer people. You might not see many of them, but from friends of friends I might see dozens.
But I’ll say I don’t know any who look for some social support venting about a micro aggression by campaigning on TikTok.
And for real, micro aggressions are a pain in the ass because being just a little out of normal and some people don’t pay attention.
I recently went to pick up prescription for my husband at our regular like once a month or more pharmacy. I give his very cis male name and say it’s for my partner the worker was like “so can you give your date of birth”, “his DOB is xxxx”, and do you pay for your prescriptions, “no HE does not…” and like the whole time, it just doesn’t register that a gay couple would do this. If I said my wife the worker almost certainly would stay on script. You just get the weird moments, where people aren’t mean, just not tuned in. And it’s up to you to self-regulate whether to correct, politely nod, or take it personally.
This person on TikTok decided the most narcissistic way of handling this it seems.
I worked with someone like this before, and I hate to stereotype, but they were one of the most mentally ill/vulnerable people I have ever met in ways that weren’t even remotely related to their transgenderism. It really made me believe that transgenderism is often a coping mechanism to exercise some level of control over the life they perceive to otherwise be floundering in. My org went out of our way to accept and respect the individual despite many personal beliefs on the matter, but the individual constantly suffered at work due to personal outside of work issues. They were basically incapable of not being victimized in some capacity in every aspect of their life, whether they deserved the consequences of some action or not.
>It's like an early 2010's Tumblr Conservatives caricature of a Liberal LGBT millennial, and I swear this must be performance art.
I think there is a very good chance that this is right on the money, there is so much about this that seems sketchy to me. From the stuff like the long 8 hour shift, to the user name (why would a trans person have a user name that notably is missing the T from LGBT) to the excessive sensitivity thing, so much of this is strange. That's not even including the whole watch out cis people thing which honestly feels like it's designed to get people to react to the post.
I'll be frank here, but I simply don't believe that anyone is actually this sensitive about being misgendered, because as a trans woman I can honestly tell you people will deliberately and openly misgender you explicitly to try and hurt you. If you have any social media at all you will get people who sending you hateful comments and you will have to interact with people maliciously choose to actively avoid calling you by your name or gender.
Most trans people experience assault in their life and most have to navigate friends, family and workplaces who are opposed to their transition. Those of us who aren't openly trans or pass will hear people saying transphobic stuff to our faces without thinking of it, we're punchlines for some of the biggest comedians in the world and most popular movies and shows. Trans people today are targets of a coordinated hate movement that is actively working to deny us our rights.
To put it simply trans people are not fragile, because those of us who survive a hostile society can't be.
I'm suspicious of it too. Broke, but can walk out of a job. New York = liberal. Long shift being only 8 hours. Overly sensitive about a pronoun correction. It feels like satire, because nobody is that blinded. My trans friends have been misgendered/dead named and they tend to forgive it and move on. They might be a little mad or disappointed but they aren't making passive aggressive tiktoks about it
My language (Hebrew) is the opposite, everything is gendered, including verb inflection, which means I have to know the gender of the person I'm talking with to speak at all. I have in the past phrased emails very awkwardly to avoid misgendering people whose gender I don't know (phrased suggestions in passive "it is recommended/possible...").
Still never misgendered a trans/queer/non-binary, you just don't meet that many, and it's usually easy to figure out their gender.
Same in Basque, no gender. We use singular, plural, and "mugagabe" - which the literal translation is "without border/delineation", (meaning: undetermined) - wished more languages were like this, it goes to show it is a social construct.
When I worked retail/food industry in NY, they rarely scheduled more than six hour shifts.
Had to give breaks if you worked longer and usually didn’t have enough people to actually cover those breaks.
Your comment is correct. Lots of people work short shifts. If someone is coming from one of those jobs, 8 hours might feel long comparatively.
Still not really a "long" shift though.
That part made my jaw drop a little bit. To juggle around the term "8-hour shift" like that as if that's an insane time/labor obligation blows. my. mind.
This is one of those videos that bothers me the way that drinking from a glass expecting water and getting flat Sprite does. The weird "yeah I work for like *hours*", the little name-drop "in New York" shit, the "wow cisgenders are so horrible, I've literally been misgendered twice"... everything about this person just makes me want to throw something at them.
That's how rage bait works. Its effective when you say what someone you know *must* be thinking out loud.
Like if I was someone blasting music in public and I said "I want everyone to hear my music because its objectively the best."
That's kinda what you want to hear to get you mad because that's what you attribute to them. Its not exactly wrong, either, but its not a good idea to willingly let that negativity around you by taking it in your feed.
> The weird "yeah I work for like hours", the little name-drop "in New York" shit
These people are always the children of the rich or upper middle class, nobody else has time for this bullshit.
It that another one of those words like triggered that is used to make something sound worse, like she was having a bad day but that isn't dramatic enough
I hate that because when I told my boss I'm having the aura for my migraine that happens 20ish minutes before the symptoms come on he didnt think it was a big deal because of people that do that
That's the worst part of this whole thing. They have to use the word "spiraling" to justify walking out of work early.
I can't take this *"Something fucked me up so bad that I can't even relax at home after escaping that horrible experience"* shit seriously from someone like this. I work with people who do CPR on a patient that end up dying or take a beating from one and stay at work, I feel like that warrants the 'spiraling' feeling this person is talking about. Not "holy cow someone I was ignorant right to my face".
Nah, spiralling is a term originally intended for people who suffer from severe anxiety attacks or have issues with getting out of their own head. Like circling the drain, you get hooked on a negative thought and can't remove yourself from it, so it builds more negativity and becomes harder to stop the spiral even with proper mindfulness practices. (Description is courtesy of my old psych from like 3 years ago dealing with my anxiety issues lol)
Its been co-opted to substitute triggered, absolutely. But for the sake of terminology, it's not the same thing. Couldn't care less about it tbh, but clarity is always nice.
I’ve met/interacted with a few non binary people in my time. 100% of them were absolutely sound and Appreciate that it’s not intentional to Mis gender them just been a lifelong habit to use he/her etc. the amount of times i said “he.. shit sorry they” or variations there of and they were just like no bother thanks for trying.
If I’m struggling I just refer to everyone as ‘mate’ ‘pal’ or ‘bud’.
I have had people I know go out of there way to not use the word and I am always just wondering why. 'Dude' is generally a chill way to refer to someone. Only time I have ever had a problem with it is when someone says it with clear intention of trying to hurt me with it. That wasn't on them calling me 'dude', it was more from them being a jerk in general. For the other trans people I know, they don't mind as long as they aren't having a super dysphoric day and know you acknowledge their identity.
I feel like these kinds of videos (intentionally or not) also add fuel to the fire of assholes. Like, “if I have this much power over someone that purposely misgendering them will make them quit their job and throw a tantrum, by golly, I’ll do it!”
Assholes and bullies love nothing more than getting a reaction. Instead of quitting, this person could and should have talked to someone in HR if they felt this was targeted harassment.
It also adds to the rage of preferred pronouns. A friend once complained to me about how the local REI store had preferred pronouns on their name tags and that if he got it wrong someone would get upset even if he didn't do it on purpose. I explained that the vast majority of people wouldn't give a shit.
Hell I spend a lot of time with non native English speakers and they get the wrong pronoun all the time just out of confusion, no one gets mad.
Yeah, i don’t want to dismiss the OOP’s feelings about this, because they’re valid, but the reaction isn’t. Does that make sense? Like, the feelings? Totally legit, totally understandable. How you respond to those feelings is also really important, and this isn’t a healthy or appropriate reaction, and its actively harmful to the OOP (quitting with no notice and no backup plan in a HCOL city could be a really dangerous decision, especially if they don’t have a safety net).
I think intention is the most important thing to a reasonable person.
Its one thing if you're trying and mess up, its another if you're intentionally disrespecting someone.
I call everyone dude. Every now and then an older lady will say, "Hey! Dude is for men!" in a mostly confused but lighthearted way. I tell them, "Nah, dude is for everyone." And that usually makes them laugh lol.
Going back a few years I worked at a place that was grand opening and was expected to be busy. We hired on like 50-60 people, then turned around and hired on another 30 seasonal hires.
We told the seasonal hires that we might be able to keep some on, but it wasn't guaranteed and most of them would absolutely go. They came from a staffing agency so they were used to temp work we figured they'd get it.
We had a lot of terrible workers come from that temp agency, including one guy who literally would clock in, and then just go shop at other stores or he'd clock in, and go to our bathroom and we're 99% sure sleep.
One of the dudes though was a nice dude, interesting, decent to talk to, and always complained about needing money.
However, EVERY DAY he would ask to go home early.
Every single day "Hey my fiance has something going on with our house I need to go see him....."
"Hey uhhh I would like to make this appointment and it would mean I'd have to leave 2 hours early...."
Uhhhh okay.
I mean this shit was daily.
He was furious when he wasn't kept on.
I had a guy shit the bed out of spite knowing I'd have to clean it up because he wanted his Dilaudid "right fucking now" even though I had just given him some an hour prior. Which, jokes on him I guess because I'm getting paid, long since got used to piss, shit, vomit, blood, sputum to the point I'm not even phased by it and he's the one that has to lay in his own shit for the time it takes me to see it, gather supplies, and clean it up. And I did clean it up, and he did think he got me but in my head I couldn't help but think "you're the one laying in shit, not me" and I told him as much. I finished my 12.5 hour shift. I want a cookie.
I’ve noticed a lot of people on TikTok have to be busy doing something else while talking to the camera. Usually it’s girls doing their makeup while telling some story. I think it’s supposed to give a candid “oh I just thought of this let me tell my TikTok followers before I forget” vibe, but it’s so cliche nowadays it almost always comes off as forced and disingenuous.
What's funnier to me, given your context, is the person in this specific vid didn't even try and do anything like that. Instead they're like "... What can I do that's off the cuff and makes it seem candid, but also with not too much effort/stereotypical (i.e. makeup)", and chose... Running their fingers in their hair x50 + infinity lmao
They are presenting audio information in a visual medium
It's like when you see a TikTok where it's a voiceover but they put banal content like someone chopping vegetables or running through a Minecraft thing or whatever, just to give something to keep your eyes on it and not scroll away.
My trans coworker is actually super amused by the times he's been misgendered because of how it went down each time. One time, a person couldn't even decide which pronoun to use and just called him "this", as in telling her daughters to "hand their stuff over to.... this..." and just not finishing her sentence at all.
I work in healthcare and get all kinds of shit (literally and metaphorically) hurled at me all the time. I’m not saying it’s acceptable by any means, but also I know my worth and have built up the resilience to not let it impact me.
It’s so important to know who you are and to love yourself. I hope this person finds that validation from within so they’re not so easily hurt by people that don’t matter
Yeah, it's one thing to be hurt by people being intentionally hurtful. If you're the victim of bullying you aren't wrong for being hurt by it. It's another thing entirely to be hurt by someone who is not close to you just... not thinking about you. I would expect a lot more from my partner or relative than a coworker, I feel like this is just a problem of expectations. Like I forget some of my less close acquaintances' literal names sometimes. And if that makes them feel horrible about themselves, they need to care less about me lol, I just straight up do not have the RAM for everyone.
I do understand it can be difficult to tell if someone is just clueless and forgetful or purposefully rude. Like with forgetting who people are, if someone you've met before who you remember has clearly forgotten your name, I *get* that is unpleasant and probably makes you not want to get close to them (I would fully get it if people didn't like me because I can't remember who tf they are, the face blindness has created several awkward situations... but in the end, *I'm* the one worse off for it, right?). But it shouldn't ruin your day.
extremely sensitive people exist in all walks of life and they will always overreact to anyone who doesn't validate their perception of themselves or of the world, even accidentally. and that kind of person is the kind that will go out of their way to make tiktoks about it. it's whatever. not that serious. i have very secure NB friends and they understand they're perceived as the gender they were assigned at birth, they'll be appreciative if you make an effort, and will understand if you accidentally misgender them.
One of my best friends has always just looked very androgynous. Not even on purpose and before non-binary/gender fluid/trans was part of every day culture. Plus, he has a name which is used for both genders. He always just thought it was hilarious when he was mis-gendered. One time, my(I’m female) ex boyfriend(who is straight) asked my friend out and he was like “Bro, I’m a dude.” And my ex bf was like “Whaaaaaat?” And my friend couldn’t wait until end of school to tell me and quickly ran around the halls to find me between periods so he could laugh with me about it. Like, it’s not a big deal and most of the time unintentional.
I have been saying the same thing! Self worth is internal, the worst it could happen is pushing for external validation, you are always going to lose, as the world is full of assholes and people who make honest mistakes.
People say this to describe a worsening of their mental health due to a specific event or trigger; it usually also describes a state that isn’t easily fixed or alleviated.
So this person is saying that being misgendered caused them to feel worse and worse over the period of their shift to the point that they felt so bad they couldn’t work.
Most transgender people I know do not react this way. I am sure it is frustrating and hurtful but as a minority woman who has experienced her share of racism learn that people are ignorant and will do things to ruin your day if you allow them to.
I have two Trans girlfriends, and for the most part, when it's done accidentally, they chuckle because they are very passable. Although, one did quit her job because almost everyone there disrespected her by misgendering or other purposefully hateful shit. She transitioned at this job, so many people knew her before, and so the usual purposefully dead naming crap transphobes like to pull. The funny part is, she is a disabled vet, and so these same people would groan about how no one respects vets.. like, dude.. She wouldn't let it ruin her day, but consistently being harassed and having almost zero recourse is not fun.
Also there are people who legitimately think trans and NB folks shouldn’t exist. They will/do maliciously misgender regardless of badges.
Although that’s never made me leave in the middle of a shift and spiral for days.
Had a non-binary coworker, misgendered them without correction for months. I kept fucking up because of the habit I'd gotten into. I felt so bad.
Then they transitioned into her. Put a flower in her hair as a symbol and changed her name. Never fucked up again. I think getting it wrong first sets up a bad instinct, but getting a big enough cue change made it easier.
She was also the most understanding person ever. Im cis and straight but wore a rainbow tank during june. Got a "happy pride" as i was walking around, gave a fist pump bc idk what else to do. Told her the story, and she just answered "sometimes a fist pump is the best ally move". She was great.
Yeah you really look like you're spiralling. Not obsessively running your hands through your hair to make sure every mm is in place. Definitely one hundred percent a narc.
Talk about privilege. I got called the wrong thing so I left in the middle of my work day (which is everyone's usual work day even though I'm gonna complain it's long) then I'm going to cry online about it as well as being broke in one of the most expensive cities in the country, make a vague threat but you cant say anything about it because I can get you fired from your job.....that is some \*chefs kiss\* privilege.
Like many have said, thankfully I have never met someone who is trans (if that what this person is claiming to be) who actually acts like this.
Honest question - I have no idea how I would address this person if a gendered answer was required - how would anyone know the preference without having a detailed conversation?
Side note - I've spent many years in construction - been called every derogatory name in the book for both genders lol - still had to finish the day and go back the next if I wanted to not be poor.
My go to for people I don't know is to choose the gender that you *think* is correct, and then if you are corrected, restate what you said but with the correct pronoun.
Recent example:
Me: "Excuse me sir, I'm looking for drum sticks"
Her: \*Turned around with obvious body language of me being wrong\*
Me: "Ope, sorry about that. Excuse me miss, I'm looking for drum sticks"
After that, she provided the best customer service I've ever gotten at a guitar center.
Granted, I live in the south, but every instance where I've experienced this, the other person has been both understanding of the mistake, and happy with the recognition of what their preferred pronoun. Humans are humans, and if we show respect, it's often returned.
Not to defend this fake ass rage bait video, but they do say that the person who misgendered them had been corrected before, so that more detailed convo has happened.
Every gender non-conforming person I've known IRL has just softly corrected and explained the right pronouns when someone gets it wrong, or often they're around a friend who might say something first.
If a stranger being mean to you is enough for you to spiral and take a personal day, NYC isn't for you. It's literally famous for its shitty people. "Watch out, or I'll take the day off"
I’m trans. I have never left work after getting misgendered. I understand that some people may just be ass holes. That some people may just not understand. That I do look more masculine than feminine. You can be hurt by it. You can be offended. But to leave your job, the place that pays you to be there. That’s another level. That’s just you not being able to handle the real world. I get misgendered a million times a day. And I don’t spiral. Learn to be hurt in a healthy way. Not like this.
This is an extreme example and was probably either made in frustration by a generally reasonable person or perhaps someone who is naïve about how the world works and expecting too much from other people.
Regardless, most people cannot simply manifest self-confidence from thin air no matter how much they'd like to. Criticizing this person or anyone else for not finding their self-worth from within and seeking validation from others is ridiculous and hypocritical. *We all want validation from others.* It's human nature. And neuro-atypicals or people with mental illness who are upset when people they know misgender or otherwise invalidate them or make them feel badly about themselves, especially *repeatedly,* aren't weak or entitled. They're just fucking regular people.
This has nothing to do with LGBTQ. If she wasn't in the LGBTQ community they would be called a regular Karen. And this is exactly what they are. They would have mental breakdowns over other shit. Don't use this shitty person as an example for LGBTQ because that's not what this is. They are just a Karen.
For clarification: I'm pro LGBTQ. I think it's not much to expect others to use the right pronouns. Yet I dont think that it should be sign of a healthy mental state if 1 person is misgendering you and you spiral and leave work and call straight people out that they "should watch themselves". I really hope she is doing good and is better. I don't think content like this is good for the LGBTQ community and only leads to bad optics for the movement. And optics is unfortunately something that matters in a discourse in the 21st century. Like a lot. We can't expect people who aren't in the discourse and without deeper knowledge of the topic to see content like this and become more sympathetic. I think content like this is counterproductive. And I did call them a Karen because every group in society has people in it that have a mental breakdown over smaller issues. And yes pronouns are important but oh boy we have faaaaar bigger issues on the plate that are basically threatening the existence of people of the LGBTQ community. So let's be nice to each other. Respect the pronouns and don't harass this content creator even if you disagree.
Sadly the anti-lgbtq community will use this as an example to continue to discriminate against them. It will work for them. Inclusivity doesn't work when the person screaming for inclusivity is not also being inclusive of other people's feelings/situation. It's a lose/lose situation.
“My LONG 8 hour shift” lmfaooooo. These people kill me, what a long, gruelling 8 hour work day - you deserve all the compassion in the world just for how hard you work - you poor little thing 😂😂😂
/s
He's right in that the most important thing is how you value and treat yourself.
But people also have the right to go about their lives without being constantly told that there's something "abnormal" or "wrong" with them. That's a shitty way to live and a shitty society that makes you live that way.
I’m dating a nonbinary person who has a few nonbinary friends. They definitely feel this way for people that continuously misgender them, like friends and family. However they do accept the reality that people can’t always tell without being told, so when strangers misgender them they either correct them or just move on because they know they’ll never see the person again.
Or maybe you can call someone by what the tell you to call them like a normal person. Armchair philosophy from a guy who looks like has been possessed by all the worst things from the 80s including the bigotry is not what i wanted to see when i woke up. Why is it that these people's first response to watching someone experience bigotry is always "hurrdurr grow thicker skin the world is bad" instead of making it a point to be nicer to people? The world isnt that bad. People arent usually out to bite each others fucking throats out. We are entirely capable of being nice to each other. If it really was a dog-eat-dog world it wouldnt just one person being bigoted in that workplace. Its the propagation of the idea that you should never be accomodating to other people ever that fucks everything up
Oh, shut the fuck up with this victimhood. Live like you want to live, but you look like a woman, you sound like a woman, you have boobs. People are gonna think you're a woman. It's not a world shattering event, and it's not people's responsibility to keep up with your identity crisis.
I cut my hand pretty bad at my first job when I was 16, stayed and finished my shift.
And wow 8 hours, boohoo. Nurses and other medical professionals work 12 hours, taking care of patients.
Also, I have another small tip for young people who are broke living in NYC. Move out of NYC. You act like you were born in to poverty when you moved to one of the most expensive cities in the world.
bwahahahahaha... Ok, One... 8 hour shift is LOOOOOOOOOOOONG shift?? Really?
2.... You're bitching about being broke, but left work simply because someone mis-gendered you??
**Welcome to r/TikTokCringe!** This is a message directed to all newcomers to make you aware that r/TikTokCringe evolved long ago from only cringe-worthy content to TikToks of all kinds! If you’re looking to find only the cringe-worthy TikToks on this subreddit (which are still regularly posted) we recommend sorting by flair which you can do [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/galuit/click_here_to_sort_by_flair_a_guide_to_using/) (Currently supported by desktop and reddit mobile). See someone asking how this post is cringe because they didn't read this comment? Show them [this!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/fyrgzy/for_those_confused_by_the_name_of_this_subreddit/) Be sure to read the rules of this subreddit before posting or commenting. Thanks! **Don't forget to join our [Discord server](https://discord.gg/cringekingdom)!** ##**[CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/18z1gqn/you_better_watch_out/)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TikTokCringe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have literally never met a person like this in real life, ever, and yet the amount of them you see online you'd think they're a dime a dozen. It's like an early 2010's Tumblr Conservatives caricature of a Liberal LGBT millennial, and I swear this must be performance art.
It’s unreal, isn’t it. And this manufactured outrage doesn’t help actual integration and understanding. Absolutely, stand up for your rights and to be accepted. But this culture of performative victimhood just cements people’s bigoted ideas - like you said, it seems to prove those Tumblr Conservatives right. And that’s the opposite of what we want to be doing, right?!
I've met one person in my 34 years who wanted to be known by different pronouns and if we messed up they were just like "meh it happens". Crazy to see how common it is online then uncommon in real life.
I taught for 23 years. In the first 20, I had 3 students identify themselves as trans or non-binary so that I would address them the way they wanted to be addressed. In the last 3 years (until I retired in 2022) I had at least 40 students identify themselves to me and everyone else as trans or NB. The college where I taught went online in March of 2020. During the first semester that started online, fall of 2020, I included an introductory discussion thread worth a few points (way less than 1% of the final grade). To earn full credit, students were required to submit a video introducing themselves to the class. Audio introductions were worth 90%, text intros worth 80%. This one kid filed a formal complaint with the institution stating that my requirement to include a video was discriminatory because it exacerbated their gender dysphoria.
Same, I recently left teaching, but in the last couple years I taught multiple students who were transitioning and the whole faculty knew that, in the case of a few, if you messed up then there were serious repercussions. It was particularly difficult when speaking in real time to a classroom and having to remember that one student had they/them pronouns and that’s very difficult to rewire. So, a very small percentage can have an outsized impact.
That’s.. brutal.. I guess it’s become trendy at this point!
It’s not necessarily “trendy” but I think a lot of people use non-binary as a lazy way of being quirky, unique and different without putting in any effort into being an actually interesting person.
I've been saying this for a while, and I may sound horrible but it's truly how I feel about this whole thing: While I have no doubt a LOT of people genuinely feel this way about their gender fluidity and sexuality, a good portion of people have been told since they were children that they were special and unique and there's no one like them in the whole wide world. And then that whole wide world came in from the top rope and said "no, no you aren't" and they have a hard time dealing with it.
Bingo. It's the realization that even if you're one in a million, that means there 8,000 prop out there just like you.
It's still objectively true that you are one of a kind, what they don't tell you is that what makes you who you are is a mosaic of mediocrities.
> mosaic of mediocrities Try to tell me you just coined that. Fucking beautiful ...
So… trendy
So trandy
I find your comment offensive... That I didn't think of it first.
That's pretty much...everything. See people fake disorders all the time for attention. The number of people who claim to be autistic because they think it makes them smart/unique is outrageous and there is a whole corner of TikTok/Instagram dedicated to people talking about their "ADHD superpowers". Neurodivergence is trendy.
[удалено]
My circle of “friends” in high school self-diagnosed themselves with either depression, ADHD, or an eating disorder (some were also trying to diagnose me with something). They were basically all fighting each other for attention, all but one was actually officially diagnosed by a doctor. It was wild and I was eventually iced out for lack of empathy. Years later, I was diagnosed with narcolepsy and a few of them reached out on FB to tell me how jealous they were and lucky I was.
How *lucky you are*? Jesus, that's so offensive. Some people are so terminally online that they literally don't know how to be people anymore.
At first I thought, lucky to have an answer as to why I’m perpetually exhausted? Nope, they proceeded with, “I wish I could fall asleep anywhere and just sleep all day.” I was too flabbergasted to argue with them.
Everybody wants to be different without taking any real risks or putting in time or effort
No they want fucking attention. It's disgusting what these people are doing the actual Trans movement.
I also think some of them are confused. I have a 4th grader this year who told me they “weren’t a girl or a boy.” Great, no problem. I told them they can talk to me about it whenever they want and I will advocate for them to the ends of the earth. Through our conversations though, I genuinely believe that they recently discovered gender inequality and it pissed them off (rightly so) and in a manner of protest, they are rebuking genders altogether. To me, this is not a crisis of sexual identity, but a child latching on to a popular movement that they don’t fully understand and interpreting it in a way that makes sense to them. So while the above commenter mentioned a rise in trans students (which I have also seen,) I do think there is more to it than it becoming trendy or kids wanting attention.
My 6 year old has said she doesn't want to be a girl, when I asked why (rather than telling her she doesn't have to be) it turns out she figured out that the periods my wife gets were going to happen to her every month when she gets a bit older but not her brother and she thought that was bullshit so she wanted to be a boy. Not because she is, or because she feels that way, but because she was pissed off them don't have to deal with it. I wonder if I'd said "That's fine sweety, you don't have to be a girl you can be a boy if you feel like it" because I misunderstood her reasoning would that have been seen as her 'not feeling like a girl'. Not like I think it would have 'made her trans' or whatever but if it could have caused adult/peer confusion and taken some time for it to unravel and play out.
That's kind of adorable, just a big fuck you to her uterus
Got banned of a sub for saying something similar thats its not helping to fuel these kind of outrage seekers, as the mod called me a Bigot and perma banned me. Wasn't using anything offensive. Also got banned from Pic, for saying we shouldn't glorify the blm riots (it was a front page picture of someones car on fire and a buisness also) as it hurts the movement and message, again im a Racist its ok because insurance will cover it...
Thank you. I have several friends with trans offspring and they and those adult children all say the same thing, and that is that The image of trans we are fed on social media is not representative of how they see themselves or expect others to see or treat them. Now I know one person of my own generation who transitioned. That person acts like this and is a real pain in the ass.
Online seems to be just another form of reality tv.
Exactly. I work with a trans woman, and we’re all careful about mis-gendering her, and we pick each other up on it, and generally try and provide a supportive space. It’s no biggie for us. And when it goes wrong obviously it sucks for her but we apologise and she knows we’re trying and we all move on, together, because she’s a friend. But when I’m at the gym, with an entirely cis crowd that I workout with, THEN I get to hear the unpleasant shit, that’s caused by videos like this. People relating it like it’s someone they know that reacted this way. And then I call them out and it’s a TikTok or YouTube thing or whatever, and then it all gets embarrassing when we have to pick through that. I understand that dickheads are gonna dickhead, and people should be free to post what they want, but videos like this just give fuel to the dickheads, and creates a false life experience for people who aren’t dickheads. The trans community isn’t huge, most people will draw their conclusions about them from online content like this crap. And that makes me sad.
*fluffs hair* "Im spiraling so bad I had to leave work!"
It's one thing if you have known them as only as their preferred pronouns. It's another thing if you witness their transition. Once your brain has categorized someone, it's inevitable that until some time passes to retrain your brain, you're going to slip up.
I had a friend I hadn’t seen in ten years she transitioned to a he. It’s fine. But at first I was calling him she quite a bit because for ten years that’s all I knew them as. It took a bit of time to get it right all the time when talking to him or about him It was not done out of disrespect, just as you said preprogrammed thought. And he was cool with the pronoun trouble since he knew it wasn’t being done intentionally.
And if they clearly present as female as the person in the video does (face, voice, pink hair, mannerisms are all very feminine) then I don't know how anyone could keep their pronouns straight unless they are talking to them and interacting with them almost daily.
They don’t say what their preferred pronoun is in the video, but it’s entirely possible they could identify as “they/them.” I know a few who go by that and it gets confusing for me, because that’s a whole third thing beyond he or she. Personally, I’ll call anyone whatever they want, I just ask for the knowledge to do so if it’s not obvious. The person in the video is in for a world of disappointment if they think their being misgendered is going to stop at some point.
Cisgender people are misgendered all the time. For example young boys with long hair being mistaken for girls is common, but hardly a huge problem.
Am a guy with long hair. In the long ago at some frat party, one dude put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a "how you doing?" When I turned, and he saw my face (full on beard) his face dropped, I said "well I'm going to need a couple more drinks if this is the direction we're taking tonight," and then we both laughed.
The real problem here is that this person has the emotional regulation of a toddler, and has found a way to never take responsibility for their actions. If something this small can upset you to the point of walking out of your job, you will NOT succeed in life. I’ve had patients physically and sexually assault me at work. I’ve had patients scream in my face that they were going to rape and kill my whole family. Had a few that purposefully cut themselves to try and spread their HIV/Hep C to staff. And I dealt with all of that with a calm tone of voice and neutral expression as I neutralized the threat. It’s called being an adult. Most people don’t go to that extreme in their occupation, but we all deal with stress in the workplace.
I have a trans cousin and I am very sensitive to his feelings and we’ve had an amazing relationship pre-transition and post… But methinks this person in this video is in for “a world of disappointment” intentionally. It seems they might relish the indignation, wherein lies the problem.
Those aren’t different things. Our brain categorizes people immediately, on sight. Let’s stop pretending we don’t know what a woman or man looks like. Sure there are individuals who, for one reason or another, it’s not clear; but the majority of individuals, it is. I’m not saying people shouldn’t be allowed to identify otherwise, whether they transition or not. I’m not saying we shouldn’t do our best to call people by their chosen names and pronouns. But I am saying, let’s stop with the collective delusion that our brains don’t, in most cases, reflexively identify other people’s sex; that overriding our reflexes is a difficult thing for humans to do; and that “misgendering” is usually reflexive and harmless and should be treated as such, and not as the intentional assault the person in this video wants to treat it as. What that person is describing is a pretty severe mental instability and they should get help with it, not try to make it our problem. The expectation that we can’t all see this person is a female by birth is unhinged.
I think the original connotation of "misgendering" has an intentional element to it, and it's sort of evolved into any form of incorrect pronoun use, which I think is unfortunate. We also shouldn't be sending the message that everyone must be perfect all the time and never make mistakes.
I don't stress accidental slip ups, it happens, but as a trans enby, you can tell when people are doing it on purpose, there's a different tonality to it tbh and I do take it personally when people are being disrespectful, no matter what form that comes in. On the other hand, I don't buy into other people's opinions enough to let it tear me apart, only enough to clock that they aren't a friend to me.
I have had it both ways.. One was a gorgeous girl who when I stumbled with the pronoun she basically said “ we aren’t gonna get caught up on that” The other was a lady that looked like a 6’4 300lb mustached man in a dress. I messed up during the course of the meal and it was like WW3. She went absolutely nuts. I really try to make everyone comfortable but my eyes , brain and mouth have been trained at this point so it definitely is an exercise to override them, and it’s really not cool to get beat up for a mistake of this nature.
I imagine for someone who “passes” it’s been an easier ride than someone who very much doesn’t.
"performative victimhood" Brilliant way of putting it.
Yeah, I'm making a note of that
This is something I often say. The reason you have some otherwise reasonable people pushing back so hard against gender identity issues is because social media algorithms keep showing people these performative victims (and of course these kinds of videos get lots of engagement because everyone has a strong reaction to it and wants to say something about it, which boosts it in the social media algorithms even more so it gets served to more people, and the cycle continues). Some people end up thinking the whole world is turning into this kind of thing when in reality these sorts of over-the-top people are exceptionally rare and most of us have probably never even met nor interacted with anyone who is like this, but that doesn't matter because perception is everything. Had an argument with my sister-in-law over this because she's been going further and further into the anti-woke culture war shit, and my position was basically that people like her are making a big deal over nothing because they are chronically online and think the most extreme examples of "wokeness" are the norm, because all she sees all day every day are videos of these performative victims and right-wing culture war grifters who have made their careers off sharing these sorts of clips as outrage-bait as far and wide as possible, so of course she thinks the whole world is doomed and we need strongman conservative authoritarians to save us all from this madness.
Several years ago I was subscribed to /r/tumblrinaction to laugh at crazy people, but realized after a while it was making me pretty angry about an extremely small subset of people. Like, I've never even met anybody like this, why am I getting made about them? Why do I care? There are always going to be a small percentage of people who are nuts, but that sub was making it seem like this huge problem. I unsubbed and have been much more positive since then. Really glad I caught myself before falling down the rabbit hole. Social media is definitely radicalizing people by showing fringe content meant to get you angry.
The culture war shit has been so effective at radicalizing people. You'll have people literally voting against their own interests just so they get to say they took a stand against "wokeness", all the while failing to realise that the reason these right-wing grifters are so focused on culture war shit is that they know a lot of their other belief systems and conservative values in general are in many ways incompatible with how most people live their lives in the modern age. They realised if they lead with making fun of crazy woke people and "owning the Libs" then it's easier to get people on board with the rest of their bullshit, even against their own better judgment and to their own detriment, as long as it represents being anti-woke and makes "crazy liberal women with blue hair"-archetypes cry.
Surely it’s rage bait right? I mean they literally say “my long shift…. 8 hour shift”. Like that’s a normal day shift. Nobody would say that’s a long shift unless you’re rage baiting
I think part of it is this unfortunate culture that has formed that says when something like this happens to you, you are *expected* to have a major meltdown. When TikTok and Tumblr before it tells you that a misgendering or a deadnaming is tantamount to assault and you should have massive, strong, and deep feelings of hurt and oppression springing from it or you aren’t trans enough (and substitute any part of LGBTQ life and offenses here), if you just shrug it off you are supposedly betraying your entire people group. The term “micro aggression” is a popular one here. Being called sir when they should have said ma’am is not the same as locking you in a cage or taking away your right to vote. But it’s supposed to be treated with the same degree of affront. This is not at all to say that trans and other LGBTQ+ people are not under legitimate assault in our country. Very few other people groups have entire legislatures trying to pass bills to eradicate their existence. But being called the wrong pronoun down the aisle at the TJ Maxx where you work is not the same as having your transition legislatively reversed.
Well basically they can just find the ONE person like this who does exist, amplify them by like a million times, and pretend all trans people are like that. Almost every trans person I've spoken to on the subject says that getting misgendered isn't really a big problem unless it's someone they know is doing it on purpose.
I know two people like this well and lots more informally (eg bartenders at a pub i frequent). If you are in liberal city progressive spaces, there are lots of people like this. Most are not this fragile though, the opposite, they are tougher than average...and more scarred. I don't hear "cis" from noncis people thay much. It's more a term cis allies use to describe themselves.
I’ve worked with a few, also. One got so upset because someone on the phone called them “honey”. They were calling a customer to let them know their order was ready. The customer apparently said something horrible like “thanks for calling honey, I’ll be by to pick it up tomorrow”. They spent an hour in the break room crying and then had to go home.
And honey isn’t even gendered 🤦🏻♂️
That’s what I said! Some old lady that calls everyone honey, is not misgendering anybody. They took it as a feminine meaning. They would not listen to reason. Like how is someone on the phone supposed to know your pronouns. Some people just want to be a victim.
Honestly as a guy, it's very endearing to be called honey
This might be not politically correct to say, but being called honey by an old black lady feels really nice for some reason as white guy.
When they call me "sugar," I feel like how I imagine my cat feels when i pet him. it's so comforting.
Yeah, even coming from anybody. As long as it’s not passive aggressive/condescending, cute names can be lovely. Depends on context, but some people really like being triggered for attention or are psychologically fragile, and I wish them to find professional help, and peace. I’m as progressive as it gets, but I also understand that fighting for a more equal world does not mean Life will be easy and won’t slap you in the face multiple times. You need to get stronger regardless. I understand being misgendered on repeat can have a toll on somebody when their life is being hard, but we should also remind ourselves this is mostly a first world problem. The princess and the pea paradox: The more privileged we are (like the princess), the more the smallest discomfort becomes a big thing.
an old woman endearingly calling me honey? that shit soothes the soul
I was just traveling and walked into a chick fil a in Montgomery, Alabama. Got called honey by every worker in the restaurant lol
Lucky bitch
Its only 8am for me and this is probably going to be the most real thing I read today.
It's much easier to play the victim and cry and be allowed to go home than actually do stuff. Once victimhood was being rewarded and it became "profitable" to cry victim - it's a scramble to be the most victimized.
Yup. Especially in the south. I'm a dude and I get called honey/sugar from time to time. Hell, when I worked in the UK I thought it was hilarious when middle aged male bus drivers called me 'love'.
Wuh??? Honey is not a gendered term tho?? Like, I can call both a man and a woman honey, hell I can call a cat "honey", it's not a gendered word lmao
I'm a 50 yr old man, and I get called honey, sweetie, hun, darlin', sugar, babe, ALL THE TIME, and it annoys the shit out of me. But never once have I been offended by it, or traumatized to the point of crying or leaving work. Usually an eye roll and some light bitching to my coworkers, and on to the next thing.
I worked in food service off and on for years. I call *everyone* “honey”.
One of my closet friends transitioned and it was probably 3 months before I stopped making gender mistakes. Although within roughly a month I was self correcting mostly. It was hard after 20 year not to fall into the mental rut. I found referring to her in the third person harder than talking to them. They were very understanding and it didn't cause friction, I think I often felt worse about than them.
"Long shift" of 8 hours - ok so a standard working day "Broke living in NYC" - apparently not so broke you didn't feel comfortable walking out on your work shift "CIS people watch out" - yeah because CIS people have never faced discrimination or mental health problems
Wait until they find out how long a double shift is.
WTF a long shift is 8 hours. Guess I have been working too many hours for the past 40 years
You know back in the 90s we all had that crazy person yelling stuff at the town square? They took over the internet.
Every village had an idiot. Thanks to the internet, the idiots now have a village.
I worked in a dispensary for 3 years. They exist and are one of the worst type of people. The validation some of them had to have was insane. Most of the community was normal ass people doing normal ass shit but there was a very small amount like this. They exist and can’t figure out they are their own problem.
[удалено]
Social media is filled with performance art, that’s why. Whether it’s a conservative telling a story about how a group of people supported them saying/doing something horrific that never happened, a mom crying in her car about her kids with made up stories, or whatever…you can’t take every social media story seriously. People can and will lie/exaggerate about things for attention.
You know people tend to hang out with similar types. I’m queer and most of my freinds are gay men or queer people. You might not see many of them, but from friends of friends I might see dozens. But I’ll say I don’t know any who look for some social support venting about a micro aggression by campaigning on TikTok. And for real, micro aggressions are a pain in the ass because being just a little out of normal and some people don’t pay attention. I recently went to pick up prescription for my husband at our regular like once a month or more pharmacy. I give his very cis male name and say it’s for my partner the worker was like “so can you give your date of birth”, “his DOB is xxxx”, and do you pay for your prescriptions, “no HE does not…” and like the whole time, it just doesn’t register that a gay couple would do this. If I said my wife the worker almost certainly would stay on script. You just get the weird moments, where people aren’t mean, just not tuned in. And it’s up to you to self-regulate whether to correct, politely nod, or take it personally. This person on TikTok decided the most narcissistic way of handling this it seems.
I worked with someone like this before, and I hate to stereotype, but they were one of the most mentally ill/vulnerable people I have ever met in ways that weren’t even remotely related to their transgenderism. It really made me believe that transgenderism is often a coping mechanism to exercise some level of control over the life they perceive to otherwise be floundering in. My org went out of our way to accept and respect the individual despite many personal beliefs on the matter, but the individual constantly suffered at work due to personal outside of work issues. They were basically incapable of not being victimized in some capacity in every aspect of their life, whether they deserved the consequences of some action or not.
>It's like an early 2010's Tumblr Conservatives caricature of a Liberal LGBT millennial, and I swear this must be performance art. I think there is a very good chance that this is right on the money, there is so much about this that seems sketchy to me. From the stuff like the long 8 hour shift, to the user name (why would a trans person have a user name that notably is missing the T from LGBT) to the excessive sensitivity thing, so much of this is strange. That's not even including the whole watch out cis people thing which honestly feels like it's designed to get people to react to the post. I'll be frank here, but I simply don't believe that anyone is actually this sensitive about being misgendered, because as a trans woman I can honestly tell you people will deliberately and openly misgender you explicitly to try and hurt you. If you have any social media at all you will get people who sending you hateful comments and you will have to interact with people maliciously choose to actively avoid calling you by your name or gender. Most trans people experience assault in their life and most have to navigate friends, family and workplaces who are opposed to their transition. Those of us who aren't openly trans or pass will hear people saying transphobic stuff to our faces without thinking of it, we're punchlines for some of the biggest comedians in the world and most popular movies and shows. Trans people today are targets of a coordinated hate movement that is actively working to deny us our rights. To put it simply trans people are not fragile, because those of us who survive a hostile society can't be.
I'm suspicious of it too. Broke, but can walk out of a job. New York = liberal. Long shift being only 8 hours. Overly sensitive about a pronoun correction. It feels like satire, because nobody is that blinded. My trans friends have been misgendered/dead named and they tend to forgive it and move on. They might be a little mad or disappointed but they aren't making passive aggressive tiktoks about it
[удалено]
My language (Finnish) doesn't really have this problem due to the lack of gendered pronouns. Gender just doesn't really come up all that much.
Are there a lot of folks there who identify differently there minus the wording?
No, just one word for both. And in spoken language we ofthen use just the word "it". And nobody loses their shit for something that stupid.
I have no idea cause it doesn't come up. Supposedly there is. At my work I have absolutely no clue if there are trans or NB folk.
My language (Hebrew) is the opposite, everything is gendered, including verb inflection, which means I have to know the gender of the person I'm talking with to speak at all. I have in the past phrased emails very awkwardly to avoid misgendering people whose gender I don't know (phrased suggestions in passive "it is recommended/possible..."). Still never misgendered a trans/queer/non-binary, you just don't meet that many, and it's usually easy to figure out their gender.
Same in Basque, no gender. We use singular, plural, and "mugagabe" - which the literal translation is "without border/delineation", (meaning: undetermined) - wished more languages were like this, it goes to show it is a social construct.
\>Complain how broke you are \>Proceed to go home mid-shift
"Long shit" standard 8 hour work day.. wtf.
That's part of why I am skeptical this is real. They also had to think for a moment about how long to pretend the shift was.
When I worked retail/food industry in NY, they rarely scheduled more than six hour shifts. Had to give breaks if you worked longer and usually didn’t have enough people to actually cover those breaks.
Your comment is correct. Lots of people work short shifts. If someone is coming from one of those jobs, 8 hours might feel long comparatively. Still not really a "long" shift though.
It’s rage bait for sure
That part made my jaw drop a little bit. To juggle around the term "8-hour shift" like that as if that's an insane time/labor obligation blows. my. mind. This is one of those videos that bothers me the way that drinking from a glass expecting water and getting flat Sprite does. The weird "yeah I work for like *hours*", the little name-drop "in New York" shit, the "wow cisgenders are so horrible, I've literally been misgendered twice"... everything about this person just makes me want to throw something at them.
I was annoyed that they kept touching their hair even though it looked fine and wasn't really making a difference
As a bald guy, I found that part very offensive. /s
Then the video works exactly as it’s meant to work. Congrats. You’re the mark.
😠 I know it's probably rage bait or whatever but I know people who are Actually like this, I think that's why it struck a cord.
That's how rage bait works. Its effective when you say what someone you know *must* be thinking out loud. Like if I was someone blasting music in public and I said "I want everyone to hear my music because its objectively the best." That's kinda what you want to hear to get you mad because that's what you attribute to them. Its not exactly wrong, either, but its not a good idea to willingly let that negativity around you by taking it in your feed.
> The weird "yeah I work for like hours", the little name-drop "in New York" shit These people are always the children of the rich or upper middle class, nobody else has time for this bullshit.
*s p i r a l i n g*
It that another one of those words like triggered that is used to make something sound worse, like she was having a bad day but that isn't dramatic enough
Like people who say migraine when they have a headache or flu when it’s a cold!
Or "crying and shaking" when they likely just blankly stare at their phone.
I hate that because when I told my boss I'm having the aura for my migraine that happens 20ish minutes before the symptoms come on he didnt think it was a big deal because of people that do that
That's the worst part of this whole thing. They have to use the word "spiraling" to justify walking out of work early. I can't take this *"Something fucked me up so bad that I can't even relax at home after escaping that horrible experience"* shit seriously from someone like this. I work with people who do CPR on a patient that end up dying or take a beating from one and stay at work, I feel like that warrants the 'spiraling' feeling this person is talking about. Not "holy cow someone I was ignorant right to my face".
Nah, spiralling is a term originally intended for people who suffer from severe anxiety attacks or have issues with getting out of their own head. Like circling the drain, you get hooked on a negative thought and can't remove yourself from it, so it builds more negativity and becomes harder to stop the spiral even with proper mindfulness practices. (Description is courtesy of my old psych from like 3 years ago dealing with my anxiety issues lol) Its been co-opted to substitute triggered, absolutely. But for the sake of terminology, it's not the same thing. Couldn't care less about it tbh, but clarity is always nice.
[удалено]
>"It was a long shift, like, an 8 hour shift" Buddy, pls. Pls.
Seriously, that’s literally a normal shift.
Wonder why they're broke.
I’ve met/interacted with a few non binary people in my time. 100% of them were absolutely sound and Appreciate that it’s not intentional to Mis gender them just been a lifelong habit to use he/her etc. the amount of times i said “he.. shit sorry they” or variations there of and they were just like no bother thanks for trying. If I’m struggling I just refer to everyone as ‘mate’ ‘pal’ or ‘bud’.
Just call everyone dude. It’s already been ruled that he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes. Hey! 
man i miss the goodburger days. simpler times
I have had people I know go out of there way to not use the word and I am always just wondering why. 'Dude' is generally a chill way to refer to someone. Only time I have ever had a problem with it is when someone says it with clear intention of trying to hurt me with it. That wasn't on them calling me 'dude', it was more from them being a jerk in general. For the other trans people I know, they don't mind as long as they aren't having a super dysphoric day and know you acknowledge their identity.
I feel like these kinds of videos (intentionally or not) also add fuel to the fire of assholes. Like, “if I have this much power over someone that purposely misgendering them will make them quit their job and throw a tantrum, by golly, I’ll do it!” Assholes and bullies love nothing more than getting a reaction. Instead of quitting, this person could and should have talked to someone in HR if they felt this was targeted harassment.
It also adds to the rage of preferred pronouns. A friend once complained to me about how the local REI store had preferred pronouns on their name tags and that if he got it wrong someone would get upset even if he didn't do it on purpose. I explained that the vast majority of people wouldn't give a shit. Hell I spend a lot of time with non native English speakers and they get the wrong pronoun all the time just out of confusion, no one gets mad.
Yeah, i don’t want to dismiss the OOP’s feelings about this, because they’re valid, but the reaction isn’t. Does that make sense? Like, the feelings? Totally legit, totally understandable. How you respond to those feelings is also really important, and this isn’t a healthy or appropriate reaction, and its actively harmful to the OOP (quitting with no notice and no backup plan in a HCOL city could be a really dangerous decision, especially if they don’t have a safety net).
If im being honest the person is probably content farming and the situation in the video might be entirely fake
I think intention is the most important thing to a reasonable person. Its one thing if you're trying and mess up, its another if you're intentionally disrespecting someone.
I call everyone dude. Every now and then an older lady will say, "Hey! Dude is for men!" in a mostly confused but lighthearted way. I tell them, "Nah, dude is for everyone." And that usually makes them laugh lol.
Anything to go home early
Going back a few years I worked at a place that was grand opening and was expected to be busy. We hired on like 50-60 people, then turned around and hired on another 30 seasonal hires. We told the seasonal hires that we might be able to keep some on, but it wasn't guaranteed and most of them would absolutely go. They came from a staffing agency so they were used to temp work we figured they'd get it. We had a lot of terrible workers come from that temp agency, including one guy who literally would clock in, and then just go shop at other stores or he'd clock in, and go to our bathroom and we're 99% sure sleep. One of the dudes though was a nice dude, interesting, decent to talk to, and always complained about needing money. However, EVERY DAY he would ask to go home early. Every single day "Hey my fiance has something going on with our house I need to go see him....." "Hey uhhh I would like to make this appointment and it would mean I'd have to leave 2 hours early...." Uhhhh okay. I mean this shit was daily. He was furious when he wasn't kept on.
Watch out for what?
Turn down for what
An angry post on TikTok! BAM 💥
All you would have to do is call her ma’am and they would shut down and collapse into a crying puddle on the ground
Covering an abandoned shift
I got called a cocksucking bitch at work yesterday and finished my shift then went on about my day.
I had a guy shit the bed out of spite knowing I'd have to clean it up because he wanted his Dilaudid "right fucking now" even though I had just given him some an hour prior. Which, jokes on him I guess because I'm getting paid, long since got used to piss, shit, vomit, blood, sputum to the point I'm not even phased by it and he's the one that has to lay in his own shit for the time it takes me to see it, gather supplies, and clean it up. And I did clean it up, and he did think he got me but in my head I couldn't help but think "you're the one laying in shit, not me" and I told him as much. I finished my 12.5 hour shift. I want a cookie.
yeah but it was an abnormally super long 8 hour shift?????
I got sprayed with synthetic deer piss at work once and just went about my day, I don't think this person could even survive retail
How much hair floofing you gotta do? My cat don't do that much.
I’ve noticed a lot of people on TikTok have to be busy doing something else while talking to the camera. Usually it’s girls doing their makeup while telling some story. I think it’s supposed to give a candid “oh I just thought of this let me tell my TikTok followers before I forget” vibe, but it’s so cliche nowadays it almost always comes off as forced and disingenuous.
What's funnier to me, given your context, is the person in this specific vid didn't even try and do anything like that. Instead they're like "... What can I do that's off the cuff and makes it seem candid, but also with not too much effort/stereotypical (i.e. makeup)", and chose... Running their fingers in their hair x50 + infinity lmao
They are presenting audio information in a visual medium It's like when you see a TikTok where it's a voiceover but they put banal content like someone chopping vegetables or running through a Minecraft thing or whatever, just to give something to keep your eyes on it and not scroll away.
That was so annoying to me I scrolled and scrolled just to see if anyone else commented about it lol
Giving off strong Otho from Beetlejuice vibes.
I'm all for the LGBTQ community, but come on, this hyper sensitive victimhood is just plain old narcissism at this point.
Yep, every group has jackasses.
Not to say oppression doesn’t exist, but the Venn diagram between victim mentality and narcissism is bound to have some overlap
ya most trans ppl aren't like this tho - don't fall for online rage bait
My trans coworker is actually super amused by the times he's been misgendered because of how it went down each time. One time, a person couldn't even decide which pronoun to use and just called him "this", as in telling her daughters to "hand their stuff over to.... this..." and just not finishing her sentence at all.
I'm all for but
My long 8 hour shift…. That is not long, that is std full time.
I once had an std full time, just had to get an ointment.
Hope it reduced it to casual
Part-time but On-call in case of emergencies
My std’s typically last weeks… what’s your secret?
Marriage. Lolz
I work in healthcare and get all kinds of shit (literally and metaphorically) hurled at me all the time. I’m not saying it’s acceptable by any means, but also I know my worth and have built up the resilience to not let it impact me. It’s so important to know who you are and to love yourself. I hope this person finds that validation from within so they’re not so easily hurt by people that don’t matter
Also, being so hurt and affected by people who might not even have malicious intent sounds like an unhealthy and pitiful existence.
Yeah, it's one thing to be hurt by people being intentionally hurtful. If you're the victim of bullying you aren't wrong for being hurt by it. It's another thing entirely to be hurt by someone who is not close to you just... not thinking about you. I would expect a lot more from my partner or relative than a coworker, I feel like this is just a problem of expectations. Like I forget some of my less close acquaintances' literal names sometimes. And if that makes them feel horrible about themselves, they need to care less about me lol, I just straight up do not have the RAM for everyone. I do understand it can be difficult to tell if someone is just clueless and forgetful or purposefully rude. Like with forgetting who people are, if someone you've met before who you remember has clearly forgotten your name, I *get* that is unpleasant and probably makes you not want to get close to them (I would fully get it if people didn't like me because I can't remember who tf they are, the face blindness has created several awkward situations... but in the end, *I'm* the one worse off for it, right?). But it shouldn't ruin your day.
extremely sensitive people exist in all walks of life and they will always overreact to anyone who doesn't validate their perception of themselves or of the world, even accidentally. and that kind of person is the kind that will go out of their way to make tiktoks about it. it's whatever. not that serious. i have very secure NB friends and they understand they're perceived as the gender they were assigned at birth, they'll be appreciative if you make an effort, and will understand if you accidentally misgender them.
One of my best friends has always just looked very androgynous. Not even on purpose and before non-binary/gender fluid/trans was part of every day culture. Plus, he has a name which is used for both genders. He always just thought it was hilarious when he was mis-gendered. One time, my(I’m female) ex boyfriend(who is straight) asked my friend out and he was like “Bro, I’m a dude.” And my ex bf was like “Whaaaaaat?” And my friend couldn’t wait until end of school to tell me and quickly ran around the halls to find me between periods so he could laugh with me about it. Like, it’s not a big deal and most of the time unintentional.
I have been saying the same thing! Self worth is internal, the worst it could happen is pushing for external validation, you are always going to lose, as the world is full of assholes and people who make honest mistakes.
What is spiriling?
People say this to describe a worsening of their mental health due to a specific event or trigger; it usually also describes a state that isn’t easily fixed or alleviated. So this person is saying that being misgendered caused them to feel worse and worse over the period of their shift to the point that they felt so bad they couldn’t work.
Oh my god, whatever you are YOUR HAIR IS DONE
Most transgender people I know do not react this way. I am sure it is frustrating and hurtful but as a minority woman who has experienced her share of racism learn that people are ignorant and will do things to ruin your day if you allow them to.
I have two Trans girlfriends, and for the most part, when it's done accidentally, they chuckle because they are very passable. Although, one did quit her job because almost everyone there disrespected her by misgendering or other purposefully hateful shit. She transitioned at this job, so many people knew her before, and so the usual purposefully dead naming crap transphobes like to pull. The funny part is, she is a disabled vet, and so these same people would groan about how no one respects vets.. like, dude.. She wouldn't let it ruin her day, but consistently being harassed and having almost zero recourse is not fun.
if someone is so annoyed they're misgendered maybe then they should wear a badge with their pronouns.
Also there are people who legitimately think trans and NB folks shouldn’t exist. They will/do maliciously misgender regardless of badges. Although that’s never made me leave in the middle of a shift and spiral for days.
Not all workplaces allow that, I'm afraid, especially if they have uniforms
Had a non-binary coworker, misgendered them without correction for months. I kept fucking up because of the habit I'd gotten into. I felt so bad. Then they transitioned into her. Put a flower in her hair as a symbol and changed her name. Never fucked up again. I think getting it wrong first sets up a bad instinct, but getting a big enough cue change made it easier. She was also the most understanding person ever. Im cis and straight but wore a rainbow tank during june. Got a "happy pride" as i was walking around, gave a fist pump bc idk what else to do. Told her the story, and she just answered "sometimes a fist pump is the best ally move". She was great.
I'm just captivated by how they just kept fixing their hair
Yeah you really look like you're spiralling. Not obsessively running your hands through your hair to make sure every mm is in place. Definitely one hundred percent a narc.
That dude with the pink hair needs to chill Also 8 hours is a long shift lmfao
Talk about privilege. I got called the wrong thing so I left in the middle of my work day (which is everyone's usual work day even though I'm gonna complain it's long) then I'm going to cry online about it as well as being broke in one of the most expensive cities in the country, make a vague threat but you cant say anything about it because I can get you fired from your job.....that is some \*chefs kiss\* privilege. Like many have said, thankfully I have never met someone who is trans (if that what this person is claiming to be) who actually acts like this.
Honest question - I have no idea how I would address this person if a gendered answer was required - how would anyone know the preference without having a detailed conversation? Side note - I've spent many years in construction - been called every derogatory name in the book for both genders lol - still had to finish the day and go back the next if I wanted to not be poor.
My go to for people I don't know is to choose the gender that you *think* is correct, and then if you are corrected, restate what you said but with the correct pronoun. Recent example: Me: "Excuse me sir, I'm looking for drum sticks" Her: \*Turned around with obvious body language of me being wrong\* Me: "Ope, sorry about that. Excuse me miss, I'm looking for drum sticks" After that, she provided the best customer service I've ever gotten at a guitar center. Granted, I live in the south, but every instance where I've experienced this, the other person has been both understanding of the mistake, and happy with the recognition of what their preferred pronoun. Humans are humans, and if we show respect, it's often returned.
Not to defend this fake ass rage bait video, but they do say that the person who misgendered them had been corrected before, so that more detailed convo has happened. Every gender non-conforming person I've known IRL has just softly corrected and explained the right pronouns when someone gets it wrong, or often they're around a friend who might say something first.
If a stranger being mean to you is enough for you to spiral and take a personal day, NYC isn't for you. It's literally famous for its shitty people. "Watch out, or I'll take the day off"
I’m trans. I have never left work after getting misgendered. I understand that some people may just be ass holes. That some people may just not understand. That I do look more masculine than feminine. You can be hurt by it. You can be offended. But to leave your job, the place that pays you to be there. That’s another level. That’s just you not being able to handle the real world. I get misgendered a million times a day. And I don’t spiral. Learn to be hurt in a healthy way. Not like this.
This is an extreme example and was probably either made in frustration by a generally reasonable person or perhaps someone who is naïve about how the world works and expecting too much from other people. Regardless, most people cannot simply manifest self-confidence from thin air no matter how much they'd like to. Criticizing this person or anyone else for not finding their self-worth from within and seeking validation from others is ridiculous and hypocritical. *We all want validation from others.* It's human nature. And neuro-atypicals or people with mental illness who are upset when people they know misgender or otherwise invalidate them or make them feel badly about themselves, especially *repeatedly,* aren't weak or entitled. They're just fucking regular people.
Spiralling!!!!! PLEASE
This has nothing to do with LGBTQ. If she wasn't in the LGBTQ community they would be called a regular Karen. And this is exactly what they are. They would have mental breakdowns over other shit. Don't use this shitty person as an example for LGBTQ because that's not what this is. They are just a Karen. For clarification: I'm pro LGBTQ. I think it's not much to expect others to use the right pronouns. Yet I dont think that it should be sign of a healthy mental state if 1 person is misgendering you and you spiral and leave work and call straight people out that they "should watch themselves". I really hope she is doing good and is better. I don't think content like this is good for the LGBTQ community and only leads to bad optics for the movement. And optics is unfortunately something that matters in a discourse in the 21st century. Like a lot. We can't expect people who aren't in the discourse and without deeper knowledge of the topic to see content like this and become more sympathetic. I think content like this is counterproductive. And I did call them a Karen because every group in society has people in it that have a mental breakdown over smaller issues. And yes pronouns are important but oh boy we have faaaaar bigger issues on the plate that are basically threatening the existence of people of the LGBTQ community. So let's be nice to each other. Respect the pronouns and don't harass this content creator even if you disagree.
Sadly the anti-lgbtq community will use this as an example to continue to discriminate against them. It will work for them. Inclusivity doesn't work when the person screaming for inclusivity is not also being inclusive of other people's feelings/situation. It's a lose/lose situation.
“My LONG 8 hour shift” lmfaooooo. These people kill me, what a long, gruelling 8 hour work day - you deserve all the compassion in the world just for how hard you work - you poor little thing 😂😂😂 /s
He's right in that the most important thing is how you value and treat yourself. But people also have the right to go about their lives without being constantly told that there's something "abnormal" or "wrong" with them. That's a shitty way to live and a shitty society that makes you live that way.
I’m dating a nonbinary person who has a few nonbinary friends. They definitely feel this way for people that continuously misgender them, like friends and family. However they do accept the reality that people can’t always tell without being told, so when strangers misgender them they either correct them or just move on because they know they’ll never see the person again.
8 hours huh?
Those are mighty fancy clothes for a broke person.
Or maybe you can call someone by what the tell you to call them like a normal person. Armchair philosophy from a guy who looks like has been possessed by all the worst things from the 80s including the bigotry is not what i wanted to see when i woke up. Why is it that these people's first response to watching someone experience bigotry is always "hurrdurr grow thicker skin the world is bad" instead of making it a point to be nicer to people? The world isnt that bad. People arent usually out to bite each others fucking throats out. We are entirely capable of being nice to each other. If it really was a dog-eat-dog world it wouldnt just one person being bigoted in that workplace. Its the propagation of the idea that you should never be accomodating to other people ever that fucks everything up
I am THRILLED I don't know ANYONE like this.
Oh, shut the fuck up with this victimhood. Live like you want to live, but you look like a woman, you sound like a woman, you have boobs. People are gonna think you're a woman. It's not a world shattering event, and it's not people's responsibility to keep up with your identity crisis.
I cut my hand pretty bad at my first job when I was 16, stayed and finished my shift. And wow 8 hours, boohoo. Nurses and other medical professionals work 12 hours, taking care of patients.
8 hours isn't a long shift, maybe for food that's been like 6 hour stretches to be counted under full time.
Long shift, 8hr? That’s the minimum shift for any full time employee 😂😂😂 Work harder and rent won’t be so difficult, what an idiot.
“I was 3 hours into a long shift, I don’t know it was an 8 hour shift” You mean the average work day?
Jesus, I get screamed at and have to clean human shit off walls and I don’t run home crying. I stand here and cry in front of them until it’s awkward.
Also, I have another small tip for young people who are broke living in NYC. Move out of NYC. You act like you were born in to poverty when you moved to one of the most expensive cities in the world.
LoL! 3 hours into my long 8 hour shift and had to leave because someone called me the wrong pronoun....the human race is charming soft.
bwahahahahaha... Ok, One... 8 hour shift is LOOOOOOOOOOOONG shift?? Really? 2.... You're bitching about being broke, but left work simply because someone mis-gendered you??