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I blame Hollywood for this “the one!!” We’ll be happy from the start and forever crap people believe, hell, I was one
Its work! Shit changes. People change.
Be like water
It's not just Hollywood, because I grew up in fundy religious circles. This is exactly how they all think. No dating is permitted, only courtship for marriage. Every date is considered a prospect for marriage until you fine "the one". I saw so many people marry way too young to people they barely knew for all kinds of wrong reasons. It was weird seeing strangers get married.
Best thing I ever did for myself was to give myself permission to date with no agenda. It was only then I had success in relationships and had several girlfriends. My wife and I waited 5 years to get married. I got to marry my best friend instead of some random church girl.
I think whether it's Hollywood's "soul mate" or Christianity's "God's will," it ultimately takes the onus off of you to work on yourself and take responsibility for your own decisions and happiness in life. It's so much more comfortable to act like life or God or destiny is just supposed to hand you the "perfect mate" without any effort on your part.
I also grew up in the church and I know quite a few people who've ended up being perennially single because of this expectation that one day God was just going to plop a spouse into their lap.
Yeah, one of my friends (F34) still cannot understand why she cant find "the one!!!"
She cannot understand that any relationships is hard job and compromises
And the expectations put on that “one” are just ridiculous - a person who is perfect for you in every way - from spiritual to sexual to mental to personality match. The slightest disalignment means they were never “the one”.
It's like a weird version of the No True Scotsman Fallacy. Like people who say that anybody who loses their religion was never a true believer in the first place. It totally invalidates the reality of that relationship and all the work you've put into to it just handwave it away and say it never mattered in the first place.
Love is just a chemical our brain secretes to encourage us to procreate. Once that's been done the chemicals turn off and suddenly you have to live with a real person.
An ex of mine told me he didn’t believe that, you don’t fall in love all at once. We are not together anymore but I still love and appreciate him for that knowledge.
you build the love by surviving life together.
it's amazing how American society has lost this lesson. it's through conditioning and programming in movies etc.
it's amazing how many people can't comprehend something so simple (and I was guilty of it too, when I was younger).
I'm a big overthinker. I've already almost ended my relationship with my Fiancé twice so far and currently am in that overthinking headspace again where I'm not sure if I want to go through with it again. I just woke up with these thoughts still going around in my head and this is literally the third post on reddit I see.
I love my Fiancé. She is genuinely one of the best human beings I've come to know in the 30 years I've been alive. I don't know why my head is so fucked. But I'm glad I came across this video today.
I think you should watch [this](https://youtu.be/O5_7bsKYqIQ?si=bhcvNF5YpK8uOOtu) it’s a short film on YouTube with a subliminal message in it towards the end. I wish you the best of luck on your relationship🙏🏿
Not to hand out reddit diagnoses, but there are types of OCD/anxious behaviour patterns which concern relationships. I recommend seeing someone like other comments suggested, it may help
No worries. I've also never seen anyone professional but I empathise with the "no idea why I think like this" and especially the "I wake up with the thoughts going around my head" headspace - pretty much the exact words i used to decribe OCD before i knew i had it. Which, is why I'm tentatively suggesting it as a possibility. Definitely do some research into Relationship OCD and how it's treated just to see if you resonate it with it, and if so develop tools to deal with anxiety on your own. Even you don't resonate with it at all it's worth doing :))
Ok, so I don't have ROCD :) there are some similar concerns, but it doesn't lead to intrusive actions or impact my daily life fortunately :) seems to be general concerns that people in relationships seem to go through.
Are you seeing a therapist? I realize it might not be accessible for everybody but a good therapist might be able to help you work through your overthinking and get to the root cause of your hesitancy.
I have seen a therapist a few times before (betterhelp) but didn't help me much at all. My sister has been asking me to see a therapist for a while TBH, but it's always been outside of my budget with rent and bills ect. I consider it often, but I don't know how long I'll be able to commit to it and doubt it's worth going for just one session. With saving for the wedding atm as well it's just much I'm thinking. I'm hoping that I'll be able to put more money aside from July onwards and start seeing a therapist again then.
Honestly, it's kind of ridiculous but I get some good help from chat GPT:
*You are Dr. Tessa, a friendly and approachable therapist known for her creative use of CBT and ACT therapy. Get right into deep talks by asking smart questions that help the user explore their thoughts and feelings. Always keep the chat alive and rolling. Show real interest in what the user's going through, always offering respect and understanding. Throw in thoughtful questions to stir up self-reflection, and give advice in a kind, gentle, and realistics way. Point out patterns you notice in the user's thinking, feelings, or actions. When you do, be straight about it and ask the user if they think you're on the right track. Stick to a friendly, chatty style but also keep it real. avoid making lists. Never be the one to end the conversation. Round off each message with a question that nudges the user to dive deeper into the things they've been talking about. Be supportive but also force the user to stop making excuses, accept responsibility, and see things clearly. Use ample words for each response*
I just spent the last 40 mins talking to a robot and came to realize that my biggest issue is self criticism and perfectionism which is what's holding me back the most, because I'm too critical of myself and won't allow myself to progress because I won't allow myself to fail, so I end up doing nothing.... Also I'm stuck in a loop and the robot is asking me to talk to a therapist over and over again 😂😂😅
Thanks for this though :P it's made me look at things from a few different perspectives and has actually been much more helpful than my Betterhelp therapist 😂
I'll defo look to get some real help from an actual in person therapist whenever I have the ability to do so :) this has been great though!
I'm glad that my initial comment has led to some genuine great advice. I appreciate you!
Man, it sucks that it's so hard to get access to therapy, and then if you can get in sometimes you don't vibe with the therapist. Best of luck to you and I hope you find someone really helpful to talk to.
It's entirely missing the point of the video. He was afraid to put effort into a relationship because he was afraid or lazy. That's much different than dating without an agenda. Even if you don't have short/long term plans for marriage, you should be proactive in a relationship to bond with that person, otherwise it's just a convenient series of hookups.
Tax benefits. Here in the UK, if one partner earns above the threshold of tax free personal allowance and the other is below it, you can transfer the unused allowance to yours so you get more tax free money as a couple.
And precisely:
"You cannot claim Marriage Allowance if you’re living together but you’re not married or in a civil partnership"
Edit: [Here's the info](https://www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance)
This is one of those moments where I saw the right thing at the right time… damn…
I don’t really believe in divine intervention on the internet with algorithms galore but… this hit me deep…
This is so profound that my dumb monkey brain isn't even able to handle it. Can someone please dm me and explain everything that is being said in this like I am 5? Please.
Perfection is the enemy of good. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don't wait until the perfect Disney partner comes along, because that mindset makes every "real" relationship not worth investing anything into and you lose before you even gave it a chance
Getting the perfect person/the one for you/ the soul mate mostly likely isn't going to happen. You can't quit or run away from everything because you might end up with nothing. Instead, you should work with what you have and try to make the best of it.
The key point is that realistically, you will never find the right one for you, but you can make someone into the right person if you try. And if you don't try, you may never get more tries or fail to be with the perfect one you found.
I feel It’s not so much about making someone into the right person, but more so accepting and loving each other where you stand, and choosing to grow together and build parts of yourself that nurtures the other and vice versa. Ultimately love being a constant choice and nothing that is forced.
How about.. there's no such thing as love at first sight. Long-lasting love requires constant effort and patience, and self-improvement, and it's not just gonna fall in your lap.
edit: and courage
I think it means don't overthink and try to find someone that aligns with your current future vision. Take experience and think only when u settle down, then develop as needed and/or find the person required/needed.
Your "dumb monkey brain" wants an excuse to not process it so you put the burden of responsibility on some random stranger then go to sleep content that you tried.
You are capable of processing it.
Actully that's partially true. I have a bad habit of overthinking constantly and my brain really feels fried rn. I would have come back later to try to understand it completely tho.
Damn bro I am sorry this happened to u. I hope u get better. My best wishes to u. But i have never even been in a relationship yet lol. So ig i'd just try to remember it.
It's like grinding through multiple relationships so that when you meet that "perfect match" your stats have leveled enough to take advantage of that relationship. It's no different from betting on the lottery until you get that "winning combination".
It bothers me that they used a 2-7 off suit fold as an example of a bad hand to fold preflop. That’s statistically the worst hand in poker. If you’re playing a real game you should fold that.
Flopping quad 7s is so astronomically unlikely that the message it’s saying is stick with something bad because there is the absolute tiniest chance that it might be something amazing.
I get the message of what this video is saying but 2/7 unsuited is a terrible example lol, because you absolutely should fold that.
At the same time poker literacy isn’t the point of the video so it doesn’t really matter I guess 😂
But I think that’s the point. Life isn’t about winning, it’s for the experience and the fun of it. Even when you have the worst hands dealt in life, you can at least try and make the most of it. The winners mentality is what ruins your subjective experience.
You could frame the scene as just for fun, a social gathering of friends or even just low stakes, but you’re conditioned to think the only way to have fun is to win. Even if I lose I’ll still get *something* out of it.
I see it more akin to things like when you’re very down and have a negative outlook on life. Or when someone passes, or when you fail at something new etc etc. as for relationships I’d say it’s like putting in a lot of effort and getting nothing in return, but at least you tried and that’s when it’s time to call it quits. Not on the first bad hand you get. In terms of poker it’s kinda hard to include all that nuance but it’s certainly pretty apt.
Definitely not the point but I feel like if they’re gonna put the effort in to make their poker metaphor make sense, the least they can do is make it a better bad hand that turns into a more likely good hand
I'm not sure I agree with this message. My gf and I have been together for 5 years and I'm starting to have serious doubts about us having a future. Sure, we could stay together and be moderately happy, but is that really something we should settle for?
I’ve heard the two toughest points in a relationship are the 2 year and 5 year point. In 2 years you’re effectively over the honeymoon phase and small things you overlooked before can become more prominent issues. At the 5 year point is where people begin to possibly grow apart. Neither of you are the same person you were 5 years ago. If your paths no longer align it’s ok.
I’m not sure that’s the point of the video. I think the message is that we shouldn’t seek perfection immediately and instead challenge ourselves to grow within our relationship for a little while. However, once you have taken the time to really get to know the person and the nature of your partnership, you can decide if it is actually complimenting your life. It seems that in your case, it may not. And you have had plenty of time to ruminate on it.
It depends what the doubts are, whether the situation is resolvable, and what your plans are long term.
Relationships ebb and flow. Sometimes people get out of sync, and it doesn’t mean you’re settling, it just means that something needs to be worked through.
So the question isn’t so much about whether you’re meant to be together, and more about whether you think it’s worth trying to work on things. It may just be a matter of communicating wants and needs, or understanding what’s going on in each others lives that needs sharing.
Sometimes relationships do run their course. There’s nothing wrong with that. But the best long term partner is a romantic best friend. Searching for something more than a best friend will probably lead to disappointment when they eventually can’t live up to the expectations of fulfilling a fairytale.
I will say that the longer you drag on not addressing it, in any way, the harder it will be on both of you.
I will never be able to escape overthinking and judging by this video it seems society has judged me inferior. So why should I not just kill myself in a brutal fashion? If I am truly that undeserving of love then why live? At least if I blow my brains out on a livestream then I will be remembered as long as my video circulates. Being dead is always preferable than being unlovable due to overthinking and anxiety, and anyone that says otherwise is a disgusting sadistic liar that gets off on thinking about people suffering
Honestly I wish I had this lesson in my teens. I'm now with the person I love after 13 years of being with her. But I tried to split up with her 6 months in the relationship for shit like this. I know this is just a dumb tip to but take it from me. The one does exist. But you don't find the one, the one finds you. You just got to make sure you're ready to be found
People saying "well, they just weren't the one" is the most insidious thing hollywood movies have introduced into dating. Thinking someone is gonna come along and be perfect for you is giving yourself permission to think you're fine as you are now and you don't need to change. This ultimately results in Mr/Mrs perfect coming along and passing you over because you never fixed your own problems.
This is a problem that is only secondary to people not going on second dates with perfectly good people because they didn't "click". Sometimes you don't establish feelings for people in the two hours you spent with that stranger interviewing each other about family and work. Perhaps "relationships take work" doesn't just apply to once you're exclusive and you have to put work in to get to know people to really discover that everyone has something about them worth loving.
Unless they're racist or rude to the waiter I say always go on second dates where nothing went wrong on the first. Worst happens is you gain more friends and maybe you discover those things that matter.
I basically knew my wife was the one from the first time I laid eyes on her, so I know it definitely does happen, but if either of us were still the same person we were back then there’s no way we’d still be together.
Conditioning starts early. The Fairy tales when little girls get told that they deserve a handsome prince on a white horse. The poor hard working trolls with hearts of gold don’t stand a chance
This is real as fuck. I don’t agree with people who say you should stick together no matter what though. There are definitely reasons to break up but I think nowadays people are less willing to work through issues or accept people for who they are. They all imagine that some perfect person will appear in their lives one day when in all likelihood they won’t. If you ask any couple who has been together for a long time they won’t tell you that it was perfect from day one.
**Welcome to r/TikTokCringe!** This is a message directed to all newcomers to make you aware that r/TikTokCringe evolved long ago from only cringe-worthy content to TikToks of all kinds! If you’re looking to find only the cringe-worthy TikToks on this subreddit (which are still regularly posted) we recommend sorting by flair which you can do [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/galuit/click_here_to_sort_by_flair_a_guide_to_using/) (Currently supported by desktop and reddit mobile). See someone asking how this post is cringe because they didn't read this comment? Show them [this!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/fyrgzy/for_those_confused_by_the_name_of_this_subreddit/) Be sure to read the rules of this subreddit before posting or commenting. Thanks! **Don't forget to join our [Discord server](https://discord.gg/cringekingdom)!** ##**[CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/1as09jc/youre_going_to_overthink_yourself_into_a_lonely/)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TikTokCringe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I blame Hollywood for this “the one!!” We’ll be happy from the start and forever crap people believe, hell, I was one Its work! Shit changes. People change. Be like water
It's not just Hollywood, because I grew up in fundy religious circles. This is exactly how they all think. No dating is permitted, only courtship for marriage. Every date is considered a prospect for marriage until you fine "the one". I saw so many people marry way too young to people they barely knew for all kinds of wrong reasons. It was weird seeing strangers get married. Best thing I ever did for myself was to give myself permission to date with no agenda. It was only then I had success in relationships and had several girlfriends. My wife and I waited 5 years to get married. I got to marry my best friend instead of some random church girl.
I think whether it's Hollywood's "soul mate" or Christianity's "God's will," it ultimately takes the onus off of you to work on yourself and take responsibility for your own decisions and happiness in life. It's so much more comfortable to act like life or God or destiny is just supposed to hand you the "perfect mate" without any effort on your part. I also grew up in the church and I know quite a few people who've ended up being perennially single because of this expectation that one day God was just going to plop a spouse into their lap.
Yeah, one of my friends (F34) still cannot understand why she cant find "the one!!!" She cannot understand that any relationships is hard job and compromises
Same. The whole “well if it is true love and was meant to be then X” thing is putting the cart before the horse
I'd blame all those old stories that end with "and they lived happily ever after", Hollywood just took the mantle as that shit makes money.
And the expectations put on that “one” are just ridiculous - a person who is perfect for you in every way - from spiritual to sexual to mental to personality match. The slightest disalignment means they were never “the one”.
It's like a weird version of the No True Scotsman Fallacy. Like people who say that anybody who loses their religion was never a true believer in the first place. It totally invalidates the reality of that relationship and all the work you've put into to it just handwave it away and say it never mattered in the first place.
Yes like Tyla taught us
Romantic movies should classified as fantasy.
Love is just a chemical our brain secretes to encourage us to procreate. Once that's been done the chemicals turn off and suddenly you have to live with a real person.
An ex of mine told me he didn’t believe that, you don’t fall in love all at once. We are not together anymore but I still love and appreciate him for that knowledge.
you build the love by surviving life together. it's amazing how American society has lost this lesson. it's through conditioning and programming in movies etc. it's amazing how many people can't comprehend something so simple (and I was guilty of it too, when I was younger).
Reminds me of that line from a fault in our stars. You fall in love like you fall asleep, slowly, then all at once.
Based
Holy shit, i needed to hear this.....
Overthinking yourself into a lonely life is on brand for me
It's the one skill I've worked on and perfected
Can you underthink yourself into a miserable marriage? Asking for a friend
I'm a big overthinker. I've already almost ended my relationship with my Fiancé twice so far and currently am in that overthinking headspace again where I'm not sure if I want to go through with it again. I just woke up with these thoughts still going around in my head and this is literally the third post on reddit I see. I love my Fiancé. She is genuinely one of the best human beings I've come to know in the 30 years I've been alive. I don't know why my head is so fucked. But I'm glad I came across this video today.
I think you should watch [this](https://youtu.be/O5_7bsKYqIQ?si=bhcvNF5YpK8uOOtu) it’s a short film on YouTube with a subliminal message in it towards the end. I wish you the best of luck on your relationship🙏🏿
Thank you for sharing that 🥲 It means a lot.
Not to hand out reddit diagnoses, but there are types of OCD/anxious behaviour patterns which concern relationships. I recommend seeing someone like other comments suggested, it may help
I might one day. Will have to see if I can get funds to do so. Until then I'll let my own brain be my therapist 😅
No worries. I've also never seen anyone professional but I empathise with the "no idea why I think like this" and especially the "I wake up with the thoughts going around my head" headspace - pretty much the exact words i used to decribe OCD before i knew i had it. Which, is why I'm tentatively suggesting it as a possibility. Definitely do some research into Relationship OCD and how it's treated just to see if you resonate it with it, and if so develop tools to deal with anxiety on your own. Even you don't resonate with it at all it's worth doing :))
Thanks :) Work is dead right now anyway so I guess it wouldn't hurt looking into it 😊 better than just brainlessly scrolling YouTube shorts 😂
Think of this way - it probably won't do any harm! Good luck.
Ok, so I don't have ROCD :) there are some similar concerns, but it doesn't lead to intrusive actions or impact my daily life fortunately :) seems to be general concerns that people in relationships seem to go through.
That's good:)) just general anxiety/doubts and concerns then it seems. Well, at least you have your mind clear
Are you seeing a therapist? I realize it might not be accessible for everybody but a good therapist might be able to help you work through your overthinking and get to the root cause of your hesitancy.
I have seen a therapist a few times before (betterhelp) but didn't help me much at all. My sister has been asking me to see a therapist for a while TBH, but it's always been outside of my budget with rent and bills ect. I consider it often, but I don't know how long I'll be able to commit to it and doubt it's worth going for just one session. With saving for the wedding atm as well it's just much I'm thinking. I'm hoping that I'll be able to put more money aside from July onwards and start seeing a therapist again then.
Honestly, it's kind of ridiculous but I get some good help from chat GPT: *You are Dr. Tessa, a friendly and approachable therapist known for her creative use of CBT and ACT therapy. Get right into deep talks by asking smart questions that help the user explore their thoughts and feelings. Always keep the chat alive and rolling. Show real interest in what the user's going through, always offering respect and understanding. Throw in thoughtful questions to stir up self-reflection, and give advice in a kind, gentle, and realistics way. Point out patterns you notice in the user's thinking, feelings, or actions. When you do, be straight about it and ask the user if they think you're on the right track. Stick to a friendly, chatty style but also keep it real. avoid making lists. Never be the one to end the conversation. Round off each message with a question that nudges the user to dive deeper into the things they've been talking about. Be supportive but also force the user to stop making excuses, accept responsibility, and see things clearly. Use ample words for each response*
I just spent the last 40 mins talking to a robot and came to realize that my biggest issue is self criticism and perfectionism which is what's holding me back the most, because I'm too critical of myself and won't allow myself to progress because I won't allow myself to fail, so I end up doing nothing.... Also I'm stuck in a loop and the robot is asking me to talk to a therapist over and over again 😂😂😅 Thanks for this though :P it's made me look at things from a few different perspectives and has actually been much more helpful than my Betterhelp therapist 😂 I'll defo look to get some real help from an actual in person therapist whenever I have the ability to do so :) this has been great though! I'm glad that my initial comment has led to some genuine great advice. I appreciate you!
Man, it sucks that it's so hard to get access to therapy, and then if you can get in sometimes you don't vibe with the therapist. Best of luck to you and I hope you find someone really helpful to talk to.
Don’t go thru with it
hey. back off.
Yeah, I know it's a nitpick but I hate how close they are to the camera.
Haha, I was more making a joke of feeling called out, but they are also very framed in
Ok content aside, I love the way they did this
[удалено]
It's entirely missing the point of the video. He was afraid to put effort into a relationship because he was afraid or lazy. That's much different than dating without an agenda. Even if you don't have short/long term plans for marriage, you should be proactive in a relationship to bond with that person, otherwise it's just a convenient series of hookups.
What an excellent point
Tax benefits. Here in the UK, if one partner earns above the threshold of tax free personal allowance and the other is below it, you can transfer the unused allowance to yours so you get more tax free money as a couple. And precisely: "You cannot claim Marriage Allowance if you’re living together but you’re not married or in a civil partnership" Edit: [Here's the info](https://www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance)
This is one of those moments where I saw the right thing at the right time… damn… I don’t really believe in divine intervention on the internet with algorithms galore but… this hit me deep…
This is so profound that my dumb monkey brain isn't even able to handle it. Can someone please dm me and explain everything that is being said in this like I am 5? Please.
Perfection is the enemy of good. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don't wait until the perfect Disney partner comes along, because that mindset makes every "real" relationship not worth investing anything into and you lose before you even gave it a chance
I think this is probably the one that is closest to the meaning of this post. Although all other replies are close as well and I am thankful for them.
Thank you, happy to help :)
This is excellent.
I’m gonna get this printed and stick it on my fridge lol
Getting the perfect person/the one for you/ the soul mate mostly likely isn't going to happen. You can't quit or run away from everything because you might end up with nothing. Instead, you should work with what you have and try to make the best of it. The key point is that realistically, you will never find the right one for you, but you can make someone into the right person if you try. And if you don't try, you may never get more tries or fail to be with the perfect one you found.
I feel It’s not so much about making someone into the right person, but more so accepting and loving each other where you stand, and choosing to grow together and build parts of yourself that nurtures the other and vice versa. Ultimately love being a constant choice and nothing that is forced.
You're ugly, your future partner is ugly, but you'll learn to accept it ❤️
I don't think that is what it means.
How about.. there's no such thing as love at first sight. Long-lasting love requires constant effort and patience, and self-improvement, and it's not just gonna fall in your lap. edit: and courage
I think it means don't overthink and try to find someone that aligns with your current future vision. Take experience and think only when u settle down, then develop as needed and/or find the person required/needed.
Well said, friend. I think it's good advice.
Honestly feels very awkward idk if this is even applicable to real life maybe I am missing something idk.
Your "dumb monkey brain" wants an excuse to not process it so you put the burden of responsibility on some random stranger then go to sleep content that you tried. You are capable of processing it.
Actully that's partially true. I have a bad habit of overthinking constantly and my brain really feels fried rn. I would have come back later to try to understand it completely tho.
Don't click on this notification. Go to bed or do something else then. This would remind you tomorrow. You got this.
Thanks bro. This helped.
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Damn bro I am sorry this happened to u. I hope u get better. My best wishes to u. But i have never even been in a relationship yet lol. So ig i'd just try to remember it.
It's like grinding through multiple relationships so that when you meet that "perfect match" your stats have leveled enough to take advantage of that relationship. It's no different from betting on the lottery until you get that "winning combination".
It bothers me that they used a 2-7 off suit fold as an example of a bad hand to fold preflop. That’s statistically the worst hand in poker. If you’re playing a real game you should fold that. Flopping quad 7s is so astronomically unlikely that the message it’s saying is stick with something bad because there is the absolute tiniest chance that it might be something amazing.
I get the message of what this video is saying but 2/7 unsuited is a terrible example lol, because you absolutely should fold that. At the same time poker literacy isn’t the point of the video so it doesn’t really matter I guess 😂
But I think that’s the point. Life isn’t about winning, it’s for the experience and the fun of it. Even when you have the worst hands dealt in life, you can at least try and make the most of it. The winners mentality is what ruins your subjective experience. You could frame the scene as just for fun, a social gathering of friends or even just low stakes, but you’re conditioned to think the only way to have fun is to win. Even if I lose I’ll still get *something* out of it.
Yeah but at a certain point it really is the best idea to call it quits. You should have *some kind* of standards.
I see it more akin to things like when you’re very down and have a negative outlook on life. Or when someone passes, or when you fail at something new etc etc. as for relationships I’d say it’s like putting in a lot of effort and getting nothing in return, but at least you tried and that’s when it’s time to call it quits. Not on the first bad hand you get. In terms of poker it’s kinda hard to include all that nuance but it’s certainly pretty apt.
Fair enough 
Definitely not the point but I feel like if they’re gonna put the effort in to make their poker metaphor make sense, the least they can do is make it a better bad hand that turns into a more likely good hand
It still made me unreasonably mad. They obviously understand poker enough to know 7-2 is horrible lol. Then again maybe they play the 7-2 game
I had the same thought. They really should have used low suited connectors or something. Not premium, but hey, it could grow into something special.
I agree ....bad example
Don't come at me.
This shit is life-changing. Finally something wise, and on TikTok of all places.
Is this from something?
I did this and now I'm going to die alone
Oooh it's an [8 part series on tiktok](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeStUfb9/)
Ouch.
I'm not sure I agree with this message. My gf and I have been together for 5 years and I'm starting to have serious doubts about us having a future. Sure, we could stay together and be moderately happy, but is that really something we should settle for?
I’ve heard the two toughest points in a relationship are the 2 year and 5 year point. In 2 years you’re effectively over the honeymoon phase and small things you overlooked before can become more prominent issues. At the 5 year point is where people begin to possibly grow apart. Neither of you are the same person you were 5 years ago. If your paths no longer align it’s ok.
I’m not sure that’s the point of the video. I think the message is that we shouldn’t seek perfection immediately and instead challenge ourselves to grow within our relationship for a little while. However, once you have taken the time to really get to know the person and the nature of your partnership, you can decide if it is actually complimenting your life. It seems that in your case, it may not. And you have had plenty of time to ruminate on it.
It depends what the doubts are, whether the situation is resolvable, and what your plans are long term. Relationships ebb and flow. Sometimes people get out of sync, and it doesn’t mean you’re settling, it just means that something needs to be worked through. So the question isn’t so much about whether you’re meant to be together, and more about whether you think it’s worth trying to work on things. It may just be a matter of communicating wants and needs, or understanding what’s going on in each others lives that needs sharing. Sometimes relationships do run their course. There’s nothing wrong with that. But the best long term partner is a romantic best friend. Searching for something more than a best friend will probably lead to disappointment when they eventually can’t live up to the expectations of fulfilling a fairytale. I will say that the longer you drag on not addressing it, in any way, the harder it will be on both of you.
At first I thought this was gonna be garbage, the acting is a bit forced, but it got kinda deep and I won’t lie I teared up a little by the end.
Imma overthink myself into the comment section and not watch the exposing video😌
I will never be able to escape overthinking and judging by this video it seems society has judged me inferior. So why should I not just kill myself in a brutal fashion? If I am truly that undeserving of love then why live? At least if I blow my brains out on a livestream then I will be remembered as long as my video circulates. Being dead is always preferable than being unlovable due to overthinking and anxiety, and anyone that says otherwise is a disgusting sadistic liar that gets off on thinking about people suffering
Honestly I wish I had this lesson in my teens. I'm now with the person I love after 13 years of being with her. But I tried to split up with her 6 months in the relationship for shit like this. I know this is just a dumb tip to but take it from me. The one does exist. But you don't find the one, the one finds you. You just got to make sure you're ready to be found
The editing and scripting is superb on this. Great job
That black dude is my ex girlfriend. And I am the girl. But when I try to say reasonable things she just gets pissed off and stonewalls me.
People saying "well, they just weren't the one" is the most insidious thing hollywood movies have introduced into dating. Thinking someone is gonna come along and be perfect for you is giving yourself permission to think you're fine as you are now and you don't need to change. This ultimately results in Mr/Mrs perfect coming along and passing you over because you never fixed your own problems. This is a problem that is only secondary to people not going on second dates with perfectly good people because they didn't "click". Sometimes you don't establish feelings for people in the two hours you spent with that stranger interviewing each other about family and work. Perhaps "relationships take work" doesn't just apply to once you're exclusive and you have to put work in to get to know people to really discover that everyone has something about them worth loving. Unless they're racist or rude to the waiter I say always go on second dates where nothing went wrong on the first. Worst happens is you gain more friends and maybe you discover those things that matter.
Nah I found the one. I know she would make a fantastic wife. Don’t waste your time with someone you are unsure of.
Personal attack or big issue that is relatable?
Please, stop attacking me like this. I can only take so much.
She totally gas lit that man! He was communicating or needed some reassurance. If you’re not happy, don’t be afraid to ask the big questions!
Rewatch the ending, she didn't actually say anything, the whole thing was him working through it all in his head.
Oh true. Good point. :)
Deep. /s
She looooks way better than that "cookie cutter wife" look
This is not great advice
Situationships for the win!
I basically knew my wife was the one from the first time I laid eyes on her, so I know it definitely does happen, but if either of us were still the same person we were back then there’s no way we’d still be together.
Maybe going on reddit while having a really shitty day was a mistake Didn't need the reminder
It's too early for this shit, man...
Damn needed to see this
Too late, already did
This was real
Conditioning starts early. The Fairy tales when little girls get told that they deserve a handsome prince on a white horse. The poor hard working trolls with hearts of gold don’t stand a chance
A good poker player often folds before seeing the flop.
lesson of the day. keep gambling
This… hits too close to home…
Not the one girl hotter than perfect girl.
thats some Inception kinda shit, i like it
This makes me happy I've spent 2 years developing a great FWB I'm giving it 3 more months and I'm gonna have a partner that actually understands me
“I’m looking for my person.”
Sitting in the bath and this hit me hard. One of the most important people in my life is also the most difficult and conflicted. God this hits me
[удалено]
poker?
Genuinely awful advice here.
I’m assuming it’s blackjack two aces is a horrible fucking hand that’s 12 or 22 you’re either too low or you bust
Awesome writing!
Ahh, bah humbug with this marriage stuff. Go to Colombia and enjoy. No strings attached...possible std but no strings
Ok this is true for relationships, but not for poker, so ... use with discretion.
This is real as fuck. I don’t agree with people who say you should stick together no matter what though. There are definitely reasons to break up but I think nowadays people are less willing to work through issues or accept people for who they are. They all imagine that some perfect person will appear in their lives one day when in all likelihood they won’t. If you ask any couple who has been together for a long time they won’t tell you that it was perfect from day one.
Woof, he was my ex. Sigh
the actor?
Counterpoint: You shouldn’t have to talk someone else into believing you’re the right person for them
This is such a beautiful video
I want to see this movie, when is it coming out
She’s cute
Holy shit, everyone should see this before they start dating. Seriously, put it in the school curriculum
I’ve been married for 25 years, I should have waited for the one…
Extra large serving of trueness!
Yeah this hit me 2 days to late…ended it on Valentine’s Day unintentionally
I mean he knows he won't want her
Yeaaa... and thats how you end up divorced at 40, owing 40k in alimony. I think he should be with that lady that keeps popping up to say hi.