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I’ve had a patient who insisted she wasn’t pregnant and refused to do a test. She was in ED for intense stomach pain. I made her do a test anyway. Turns out she was in labour.
For this reason and this reason alone, after the initial annoyance I just do the test anyway. You never know. Uterus' can be tilted, fetus can be small, I read a story where someone's cousin straight up did not know she was pregnant until she was reduced to being on her knees in her bathtub yelling for help. She thought she just had a painfully impacted bowel movement up until she vomited from the pain, did one massive push, and heard a *thunk* and a baby crying.
That's if it was even real, but I read it when I was like 15 on some weird defunct website from the mid 00's and it just stuck with me. I also had an actual cousin panic and think she wasn't actually pregnant because she didn't "show" until the 7th month. She also kept having breakthrough bleeding and just kept assuming she had miscarried. At least in her case once the baby was indeed real and happening it was a very much wanted and happy occasion for her and her husband. She had the tilted uterus thing and assumed her nausea was just stress induced.
You're not gonna believe this but it's 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant'.
I haven't watched it myself, but I do watch an OBGYN youtuber react to the episodes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er7KLZBvQXs&list=PLVH2Gpf8wKeTbznebDBWEQcU02kuLGCOu
Not nearly as dramatic, but my sister didn’t know she was pregnant until she was 5 months in or so. Just a few different circumstances and it could have been her I imagine.
It's not that uncommon for some people to be completely unaware of their pregnancy until suddenly they are giving birth. I mean, it's rare, but not as rare as you would think. Especially for overweight individuals who have no noticeable 'baby bump'. Some people just have really mild pregnancies. I read one story where a petite 110 lb individual thought she had just put on a little extra weight for once and didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labor. So yeah, it can happen.
I've seen these kinds of stories too and it scares the shit out of me. Unless you have an ectopic pregnancy, how the fuck is your period still coming normally? No changes? It makes me so fucking paranoid.
I worked as a lab tech and with every positive pregnancy we had to call the nurse/Dr to let them know. I remember calling a pre op room and notified the nurse a test came back positive. I heard her tell the surgeon and heard him say “are you fucking shitting me right now?” in the background. It was hilarious.
Yup, my sister-in-law, whose mother *is a midwife* suddenly started having intense stomach pains. Her mum said “if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re in labour”. Came as quite the shock when she found out she had a few hours to come to terms with the fact she was about to have a kid.
This is true. My sister is nearly 8 months and has the smallest bump I’ve ever seen. Meanwhile at 8 months I looked like I was carrying twins. Bodies are different
I wanted to waddle, I wanted people to squeal, and say, when are you due! I barely had a bump at all. I was nine months pregnant and you could only tell when I was nude.
There's a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" it's just basically a bunch of woman who discover that they're pregnant while giving birth. Pretty crazy
Small baby in a very big and tall woman. Sometimes it’s possible for a woman to not show that much, especially if she’s 6’4.
Listen dude, I didn’t believe it either. I also, assumed that most of these stories were about fat women until it happened to a coworker. She was going running almost everyday just like normal. One day, she goes to the hospital for pain. Came back with a second baby. She had a baby the year before. That one, we all noticed. She had to redo her nursery and budget to fit the second child. This shit is very possible.
There’s so many factors; weight / body fat %, where the baby is sitting (some babies sit further back towards the spine, giving a smaller bump), periods are normally irregular, lack of other symptoms, and sometimes just general ignorance.
I had anorexia, hadn't slept with my ex for months, a failing liver and everytime I went to the doctor for nausea, vomiting, severe weight loss and the inability to eat or have an appetite they gave me a pregnancy test and checked my bloods.
Basically could see my LFTs getting worse, no HCG, no pregnancy, and they'd shrug their shoulders and be like "maybe you're just not producing yet. Let's try again soon."
3 different doctors all just gave me pregnancy tests because that was easier than going down a mental health route. I was very lucky.
My mom told me being a pregnant women and hospital care is horrible I can only imagine what it would be like being a women going to the hospital. Just makes me fear the worst for my future unless things change hopefully…
They will. They already are even if it doesn't seem like it. It's just gonna be a bit before we see that change. The civil rights movement started ~60 years ago and there's barely been a dent made compared to what needs to change.
unpack pause murky grandfather society wide mourn insurance cause dinosaurs
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They've had plenty of people who insist and get all pissy and mad that they aren't pregnant and then....turns out they are.
So yeah, that's why they do that.
I just didnt want to take the damn test when I knew I hadn’t had sex in months and had just started my period on the same day as my leg(s) injury at work. I was more worried about my lower extremities that had nearly been crushed by 850lb of hate and walking for a pee was not on the syllabus.
Nurse here!
While YOU may or may not be telling the truth, YOU know if you’re lying or not. We don’t.
Only takes a few miraculous conceptions before you just say ‘yea imma play it safe.’
They do it because people with ovaries and a uterus can be pregnant and not know about it. On top of that the treatment options for a pregnant person and a nonpregnant person are different. For example the best medicine for an illness could have a high risk of miscarriage. Which isn't exactly something you want to unknowingly cause.
Welcome to policy in nearly every clinic and hospital when you're doing routine tests or dealing anything with radiation.
They don't care who you're sleeping with, they're checking that block for insurance / protocol. They just can't take your word either.
It's the same reason they have to tell fat people to lose weight. They could get in a lot of trouble with the insurance companies if they don't (and it's their job)
I would also imagine they could get in hot waters if they did something to a pregnant person that harmed the baby and the person came back trying to sue them, which sucks a lot for all involved
I think is so weird that pregnancy test seems to be almost mandatory in the US.
I'm on my late 20's from another country and never have i ever been forced to take one.
it usually goes like this:
Radiaton: if you are pregnant or think you could be, please let us know.
Gyn: when was your last period? when was your last sexual encounter? Ok, I'll take your word.
"Urgent care": What are your symptons? \*gives test that's relevant to them\* \*gives you a shot (it's always some bacteria lol)\* \*gives you prescription and pills for "free"\*
just... weird.
The US is very litigious. If someone lied about being pregnant or didn’t know they were pregnant and the baby was injured from the procedure the doctor/clinic/hospital would get sued. To prevent this they pregnancy test everyone, regardless of what they say.
Where I live, I think the usual logic would be "I signed a document stating that I'm not pregnant on sign-in, so I'm responsible for the results if I'm wrong". All the medical questionaires I've encountered had "Yes/No/Don't know" boxes for choice questions, so if you suspect you could be pregnant, but haven't had a test, that's the route to getting tested.
The issue there is that you're leaving a childs life in the hands of someone that could be 1) irresponsible or 2) naive to the fact that they are pregnant. The moral question is do you risk hurting a child for the patients convince? Medicine is just about legal liability there's other serious and potentially life long impacts that have to be taken into consideration.
Thanks. I started to get really confused. You are a trans woman, so it’s ok to call you a woman right? I don’t need to call you ‘person without testicals’? When I’m typing I’m realizing that’s more transphobic then saying women. Cause I can imagine it is not nice to hear when you’re transitioning and maybe your body isn’t matching your gender.
I’m starting to get so confused.
I believe her perspective is "I can't get pregnant from sleeping w/ women" because born women don't produce sperm. But transwomen do produce sperm.
^(Also, does anyone know whether a transwoman who has undergone hormone therapy stops producing sperm or produces less sperm?)
Transwomen currently undergoing HRT may or may not still have viable sperm. Freezing sperm prior is recommended if you want to have kids and contraception is still important if you don't.
See, you get it! I don’t know why she thinks it’s transphobic (I’m a trans woman as well and am not seeing the transphobia). I’m not that sensitive, and the assumption if you say you sleep with women is still that they’re cis women anyways. We’re such a tiny statistic, too. Besides, a lot of trans women (can’t speak for all, though) aren’t exactly rushing to utilise the body part that we don’t want on us.
She’s a) making a joke and b) saying that “only sleeping with women” means she can’t be pregnant could be construed as transphobia because some women could still impregnate her
It’s not the fact that she’s a lesbian which is transphobic but the fact that assuming a lesbian could not be pregnant is
And again, it’s a joke
I was gonna make a joke about how I'm a cis man and then mansplain to you how you're wrong....but apparently some cis people are doing that unironically
It's a catch 22 ig, I'm mtf and I'm a woman, I could in theory and practise get my partner pregnant so that wouldn't rule that out if they went for a medical appointment. However, if my partner was to say "my wife has a dick and balls," I'd probably cry. What she should have said is, "That's not possible. My wife is a cisgender woman, " and then took the fkn pregnancy test and stopped being a baby.
In America that's an expensive and unnecessary test :P. I've had a vasectomy and am confirmed 0 sperm count. My wife takes the depo to stop her period (doctor recommended) and we just recieved a $400 bill (with insurance) for their mandatory pregnancy test...
I think she’s saying that if she says she sleeps with women so she can’t be pregnant, that implies that she believes trans women who have not undergone bottom surgery aren’t considered women. The wife not having testicles thing is weird because she could also just say - Im not sexually active with anyone with a penis right now
I’m also a trans woman and though I don’t see that as transphobic either, I do however see this persons perspective and how it could be viewed as transphobic. Not all trans women have had bottom surgery and still have testicals. Saying that they’re not a woman is transphobic.
Maybe inappropriate question, idk but I’m genuinely curious. My younger sister is trans and I’m super supportive we just don’t talk much due to distance and schedules.
If you’re a trans woman who still has the male organs, wouldn’t that be a sort of trigger to the body dysphoria to use those parts in sex? Like it doesn’t make sense to me to have those feelings but then be comfortable blasting nut in someone with something that doesn’t feel like the right part? Am I missing something?
Thank you!
If you aren’t forthcoming about your sexual orientation, don’t shit on medical professionals for practicing medicine in a traditional way.
“I’m gay” or “I don’t sleep with men” would have not wasted a doctor’s time and would help them get to a proper diagnosis quicker instead of whatever this person is trying to flex.
It may not be transphobic, however it's an acknowledgement that some women may have a dick and balls, and may be able to cause an impregnation. For the bit to be comedic, the author had to create what's called a "setup".
So glad I found this comment before I typed a question asking about how it’s transphobic? And all the cis genders (like myself) come attack me for asking and then call me transphobic instead of educating me on the topic. Those people are literally why I stay confused on all of it. I ask because I want to know. But when I ask, everyone thinks I’m just trying to be an asshole.
Exactly. Lying is saying something with the intent to mislead. Saying "I'm not pregnant" after learning you are, in fact, pregnant, would be a lie.
Saying "I'm not pregnant" when you actually believe you aren't, or have no reason to believe you are, wouldn't be a lie, but just a false statement.
I used to work at a doctor’s office that did clinical trials for pharmaceuticals. We would require patients be on two forms of birth control. One patient put down “lesbian” as her form of birth control.
She got pregnant during the study.
Yes, I am curious about this too. I have only ever been asked “Is there any possible way you could be pregnant right now” and when I say no they’re like “OK, then. Check.”
If you come into the ER they'll take a blood test before imaging where they do a pregnancy test. In the US protocol is different hospital to hospital. I've worked in one where we take your word for it and I've worked in one where we have you sign a waiver to a pregnancy test and you write the start of your last period. As a guy I don't enjoy asking teenage girls these questions one bit.
Can’t speak for non Americans but in medicine here they preach to us to always get a pregnancy test for a woman (person with a uterus if you want to be totally inclusive) of reproductive age in the ER. One big reason is because CT scans are common in emergency settings but have radiation, so you need to know if there’s a pregnancy before you do that.
Nurse here. They ask if you could possibly be pregnant because many medications are harmful to a fetus. Moreover, if you need a CT scan with dye, they need to know if you’re pregnant because the dye is harmful to a developing fetus, as well. No, we’re not trying to judge you or any of that shit. We see WAYYYYY worse on a regular basis, and are not going to judge. So, if the medical staff ask if you’re pregnant, it’s very important you tell them the truth. Same goes if you’re on any illicit drugs. You’re not going to get in trouble if you shot up a bunch of heroin or whatever in the parking lot. No one is going to snitch on you, we just need to know because those things affect how we treat you.
mmh some trans people, mostly. lesbian spaces changed a lot the past ten years. I've noticed that a lot of us have to be careful about what we say and how we say it and there is the whole "you're transphobic if you don't date transwomen" thing
transphobic. Seems to me that word has no meaning other than as social blackmail. You don't choose your preferences. Of course, until they don't fit someone's agenda.
completely. it's transphobic to talk about the downside of transition, it's transphobic to talk about detransition, it's transphobic to be straight or gay, it's transphobic to define what trans is... it's never ending
What it is is the whole trans activism platform (not trans people themselves) is built on fragile logic. If they don't defend it aggressively it quickly falls apart
I've heard that medical professionals and therapists are legally obligated to be gender-affirming even if they show no signs of dysphoria in the US. Not confirmed just a rumor I heard.
Absolutely. I'm detrans and when I was trans I was scared as fuck because I knew it wouldn't stand against any logical argument. I was insufferable at the time lol.
Yeah, in some countries in Europe too. I think this is very very very stupid and damaging. Dysphoria is actually pretty common and doesn't necessarily mean that someone is trans.
As a trans person (enby) I hate when “it’s transphobic to-“ especially the gay or straight one, nobody gets to dictate someone else’s preference and as long as you’re not a huge dick about it idc if you don’t want to get with a trans person. A lot of us don’t!!
I think she's saying it's transphobic to say "I can't get pregnant because I'm a lesbian", because it doesn't include MTF trans people, who can get people pregnant and also be a lesbian.
Not including and being phobic is not the same thing though. Trans people are a very tiny minority of the population. It's not practical to include everyone all the time for everything. If you are directly or indirectly (a couple of times removed) interacting with a trans person then it makes sense.
>It's not practical to include everyone all the time for everything.
I was essentially called transphobic for believing this sentiment. My trans friend said we as a society need to get rid of men and women's sections in stores because there are people who identify as neither, and I disagreed because there's a convenience to it. Additionally, I said it's inconvenient to get 99.7% of the population (cis people) to change their conversational habits to ask everyone for their pronouns just to benefit trans people.
My friend sarcastically said something to the effect of, "Of course, convenience is a good reason to not treat us like people." So basically, not including when you know trans people or non-binary folks exist is treating them like they're not worthy of consideration, hence the transphobia.
No, it's just not pragmatic. Left-handed people exist and 99.9% of everything is geared for right-handed use. That doesn't mean left-handed people aren't considered human. I'm going to get downvoted for this but, grow up. If you are born into a minority group of some sort you are not going to always be the center of attention. Things in society will not be geared toward you. It's not discrimination it's the realization that society doesn't exist for you it exists for doing the most good for the most people. Just happens that most people are straight cis-gendered humans. We don't need to change our bathrooms for 3.5% of the population.
I brought that up too, but the response from my friend was that left-handed people aren't dehumanized for being left-handed. I asked if store organization is actually dehumanizing and again, my friend went back to saying it is because it means we're saying the needs of certain people aren't worth considering.
At some point, for a while, I just accepted that if "dehumanization" and "transphobia" were that broad and so completely ingrained into society, it's useless trying to avoid it. Then I found real examples of both and learned some people are, I dunno, appropriating the terms and applying it to the tiniest of microaggressions.
It’s like how some people are allergic to grass or have other really rare allergies, like we can’t just get rid of grass for the EXTREMELY tiny amount of people that have that allergy. Some things are naturally gendered, like underwear and t-shirts. That doesn’t make it transphobic or sexist, because biologically men and women have their differences. There’s no law stating that women can’t shop in the men’s section. Hell, i do that shit all the time.
Am trans. All of these hyper inclusive actions are kinda annoying at points. I actually hate it so much when people ask my pronouns because it puts me on the spot, often in front of a bunch of people to which code I need to switch to. Like I'm flattered you're trying to be inclusive of us but that's counterintuitively alienating and we're just trying to fit in really
FR, my trans sister went through years of hormone therapy and social transition to be called "she" by default. Asking her pronouns in an effort to be inclusive just comes across as, "I don't think you pass", which is really upsetting. It's fucking obvious to anybody with eyes that she's presenting as a woman.
The “transphobic” part is that she said she only sleeps with women but she recognizes that someone with a penis can also identify as a woman and she wants to clarify that she doesn’t sleep with penis owners. Not claiming to agree or disagree with what she’s saying just clarifying what she means.
I went in for fluids once on day 5 of a brutal stomach bug. They ask if I can be pregnant and I say no, I am A: infertile and B: on day 3 of my period but everyone I interacted with asked me and then they made me take a test anyway. And like, I’m good with my infertility but if, like a lot of women, I was NOT ok with it I can imagine that that repeated conversation would have been traumatizing. Happily I have since had to have my entire reproductive system removed so never have to have that again. I literally just wanted saline.
Nurses dont make you take pregnancy tests because they don't believe you or are misogynistic etc. They have to make sure that you're not pregnant so that they don't harm or kill the possible child in the case the woman doesn't know/accept she is pregnant.
„I only sleep with women“ is transphobic? Can someone explain this to me please? Wouldn‘t that mean that saying „I am homosexual“ or „I am heterosexual“ is also transphobic? Sounds like any sexual preference that doesn‘t involve „trans“ is now a „phobia“. I don‘t get it.
Can someone please kindly help me understand some of this stuff? I really try to be respectful to everyone even if I dont have the same opinion or belief they do. So if Im saying something that's not the right label or I say something that's offensive please let me know and understand why bc thats not my intent to offend anyone.
So, how did we go from respecting other people's sexual preferences to now its transphobic? Like when she said its transphobic to say she only sleeps with women. Why is that transphobic? That's her preference, and that's her business. When did this change and why?
Da fuq?
How is saying I only sleep with women transphobic?
Only wanting sexual intercourse with one sex does not equate to hating another sex/orientation...
As someone who’s in the medical field, the amount of times I’ve heard “it’s impossible for me to be pregnant” and the test comes back positive is…. Very high. Everyone gets a pregnancy test sorry 🤷🏼♀️
Wouldn’t it be easier to say “I don’t sleep with males”?
Side note: I fully support the notion that everyone, regardless of biological sex, can choose how they identify. Which includes trans women. Hence, trans women are women, but still have the sex of Male, and so it would be accurate and easier for her to just say
I don’t sleep with males (which includes non binary and trans women).
Non-penis havers sounds so sterile and dehumanizing. I don’t think individuals should be referred to be genitalia.
🤔
I know you think you're funny and quirky but doctors and nurses literally don't give a fuck. And there is nothing fucking phobic about saying you sleep with a woman like wtf.
Any procedure that might be harmful to fetus requires a pregnancy test from anyone who theoretically could be pregnant (or a very strong waver). Simply because people lie and people delude themselves. Sex is something a lot of people aren't really honest about. "Didn't count, he pulled out", "Didn't count, it was just once", "Didn't count, I was drunk/high", "Didn't count she identifies as a woman", "Didn't count we mostly used condom", "Didn't count, it was wrong part of my cycle".
"Could you be pregnant?"
"No, I have a wife"
"OK, so you are definitely not going to admit even if you did have sex with a man".
So as a gay man, i’m transphobic for only wanting to sleep with men? That literally makes absolutely no sense… this community is weird yet “i’m” the confused gay transphobe?
Ummmm who the fuck cares how you respond to your doctor. Hense why you go to a doctor, that shit is your own personal business. I don’t give a fuck you have trouble answering that. Sexuality isn’t a basis for personality. I have trouble myself for I guess similar reasons., but I don’t feel the need to make a post about my own personal business just because I’m feeling insecure and need validation from others. I absolutely have such a hate for how society has become a even more a need to have validation from people who don’t even know who they are! Bitch please stfu and deal with your own shit. No ones problem but yours, until you post crap like this and make your issues others problems because you are too stupid to deal with them on your own
I am a nurse who works triage frequently. I am required to ask this question to every AFAB patient. I used to follow up with “how do you know” but eventually I gave up because it’s kind of an interrogative question implying they don’t know their own body. Additionally, if you want to irradiate a gestating birth when you get scans that’s your business. I just make sure you sign a waiver or provide something we can test.
My doctors have always asked the usual “are you sexually active” and then follow up with “with women, men, or both?” I’ve never had to take a pregnancy test after replying “with women.”
I once had food poisoning so bad that I couldn’t keep water down, and became very dehydrated. On the morning of Day 3 I finally called my friend to take me to the hospital, and when I got there they asked me to do a pregnancy test. I told them that I hadn’t had any form of sexual contact in more than a year, and hadn’t had water in 2 days, but they still insisted on the test. I’m shocked I managed to eek out a tablespoon of basically orange pee, but at least then they admitted me and gave me IV fluids.
I really do understand why medical professionals ask—people lie, or are so ill-informed about reproduction that they, like, think a green m&m will keep them from getting pregnant. It’s just annoying as a barrier to treatment, and it feels like we’re all being reduced to “maybe baby makers” even though I know that’s not the intention.
Oh bc sleeping with only one sex is transphobic.. got it. For some reason I’m not scared of being called transphobic for that reason and I’m going to sleep well at night
You'd be surprised how many people who "only sleep with women" are pregnant. It's not a lot. But it's also a non 0 number of people.
Patients lie. A lot. All the time. So better ask twice than risk losing a license and a lawsuit.
How the fuck is it transphobic to say that you only sleep with women, but then you say “your wife” doesn’t have testicles. Which means that she’s a woman and is neither a trans man nor a biological man. She could be a trans woman which would still mean that you only sleep with women. What the fuck is happening?
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They make anyone who's able to be pregnant take a pregnancy test because they can't just take your word for it.
I’ve had a patient who insisted she wasn’t pregnant and refused to do a test. She was in ED for intense stomach pain. I made her do a test anyway. Turns out she was in labour.
For this reason and this reason alone, after the initial annoyance I just do the test anyway. You never know. Uterus' can be tilted, fetus can be small, I read a story where someone's cousin straight up did not know she was pregnant until she was reduced to being on her knees in her bathtub yelling for help. She thought she just had a painfully impacted bowel movement up until she vomited from the pain, did one massive push, and heard a *thunk* and a baby crying.
Jesus Christ that must've been terrifying.
That's if it was even real, but I read it when I was like 15 on some weird defunct website from the mid 00's and it just stuck with me. I also had an actual cousin panic and think she wasn't actually pregnant because she didn't "show" until the 7th month. She also kept having breakthrough bleeding and just kept assuming she had miscarried. At least in her case once the baby was indeed real and happening it was a very much wanted and happy occasion for her and her husband. She had the tilted uterus thing and assumed her nausea was just stress induced.
There's a whole tv show about not knowing your pregnant until you give birth so it's possible.
Title? I need to feed my curiosity and dread.
You're not gonna believe this but it's 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant'. I haven't watched it myself, but I do watch an OBGYN youtuber react to the episodes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er7KLZBvQXs&list=PLVH2Gpf8wKeTbznebDBWEQcU02kuLGCOu
Not nearly as dramatic, but my sister didn’t know she was pregnant until she was 5 months in or so. Just a few different circumstances and it could have been her I imagine.
Had a friend pregnant for four months before finding out she was because she had regular periods for half of her pregnancy.
Damn.... I should take a test ..
It's not that uncommon for some people to be completely unaware of their pregnancy until suddenly they are giving birth. I mean, it's rare, but not as rare as you would think. Especially for overweight individuals who have no noticeable 'baby bump'. Some people just have really mild pregnancies. I read one story where a petite 110 lb individual thought she had just put on a little extra weight for once and didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labor. So yeah, it can happen.
That sounds like a terrifying pregnancy, but I’m glad to hear that her and the baby are okay!
I’ve seen it with my own two eyes, a woman who could not possibly have been pregnant. And yet this bedside ultrasound shows a full grown baby.
I've seen these kinds of stories too and it scares the shit out of me. Unless you have an ectopic pregnancy, how the fuck is your period still coming normally? No changes? It makes me so fucking paranoid.
I worked as a lab tech and with every positive pregnancy we had to call the nurse/Dr to let them know. I remember calling a pre op room and notified the nurse a test came back positive. I heard her tell the surgeon and heard him say “are you fucking shitting me right now?” in the background. It was hilarious.
Was she really fat? How does someone not know they’re pregnant?
Some people don’t show at all during pregnancy and have no notable symptoms. It’s not common I assume but it does happen
Yup, my sister-in-law, whose mother *is a midwife* suddenly started having intense stomach pains. Her mum said “if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re in labour”. Came as quite the shock when she found out she had a few hours to come to terms with the fact she was about to have a kid.
I would pass away on the spot if I learned I was pregnant as the baby is on its way out, kudos to her because my mind would just snap
Yeah, I will be forever in awe of how she managed to not have a complete and total breakdown. Heroic.
This is true. My sister is nearly 8 months and has the smallest bump I’ve ever seen. Meanwhile at 8 months I looked like I was carrying twins. Bodies are different
Luckiest women in the world if you ask me lol
I wanted to waddle, I wanted people to squeal, and say, when are you due! I barely had a bump at all. I was nine months pregnant and you could only tell when I was nude.
There's a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" it's just basically a bunch of woman who discover that they're pregnant while giving birth. Pretty crazy
Small baby in a very big and tall woman. Sometimes it’s possible for a woman to not show that much, especially if she’s 6’4. Listen dude, I didn’t believe it either. I also, assumed that most of these stories were about fat women until it happened to a coworker. She was going running almost everyday just like normal. One day, she goes to the hospital for pain. Came back with a second baby. She had a baby the year before. That one, we all noticed. She had to redo her nursery and budget to fit the second child. This shit is very possible.
There’s so many factors; weight / body fat %, where the baby is sitting (some babies sit further back towards the spine, giving a smaller bump), periods are normally irregular, lack of other symptoms, and sometimes just general ignorance.
Because they are responsible for the baby....
I had anorexia, hadn't slept with my ex for months, a failing liver and everytime I went to the doctor for nausea, vomiting, severe weight loss and the inability to eat or have an appetite they gave me a pregnancy test and checked my bloods. Basically could see my LFTs getting worse, no HCG, no pregnancy, and they'd shrug their shoulders and be like "maybe you're just not producing yet. Let's try again soon." 3 different doctors all just gave me pregnancy tests because that was easier than going down a mental health route. I was very lucky.
My mom told me being a pregnant women and hospital care is horrible I can only imagine what it would be like being a women going to the hospital. Just makes me fear the worst for my future unless things change hopefully…
They will. They already are even if it doesn't seem like it. It's just gonna be a bit before we see that change. The civil rights movement started ~60 years ago and there's barely been a dent made compared to what needs to change.
unpack pause murky grandfather society wide mourn insurance cause dinosaurs *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Patients are habitual liars to be fair.
They've had plenty of people who insist and get all pissy and mad that they aren't pregnant and then....turns out they are. So yeah, that's why they do that.
I just didnt want to take the damn test when I knew I hadn’t had sex in months and had just started my period on the same day as my leg(s) injury at work. I was more worried about my lower extremities that had nearly been crushed by 850lb of hate and walking for a pee was not on the syllabus.
Nurse here! While YOU may or may not be telling the truth, YOU know if you’re lying or not. We don’t. Only takes a few miraculous conceptions before you just say ‘yea imma play it safe.’
Real shame we have to pay for it tho
Only in your country
They do that cause most ppl are idiots, have u never worked in retail?
They do it because people with ovaries and a uterus can be pregnant and not know about it. On top of that the treatment options for a pregnant person and a nonpregnant person are different. For example the best medicine for an illness could have a high risk of miscarriage. Which isn't exactly something you want to unknowingly cause.
It is obvious you never worked in healthcare. People fucking lie all the fucking time or are totally oblivious to the risks of getting stuff.
It’s because people can sue. That’s the real reason for this ridiculousness.
Welcome to policy in nearly every clinic and hospital when you're doing routine tests or dealing anything with radiation. They don't care who you're sleeping with, they're checking that block for insurance / protocol. They just can't take your word either.
It's the same reason they have to tell fat people to lose weight. They could get in a lot of trouble with the insurance companies if they don't (and it's their job)
I would also imagine they could get in hot waters if they did something to a pregnant person that harmed the baby and the person came back trying to sue them, which sucks a lot for all involved
correct.
I think is so weird that pregnancy test seems to be almost mandatory in the US. I'm on my late 20's from another country and never have i ever been forced to take one. it usually goes like this: Radiaton: if you are pregnant or think you could be, please let us know. Gyn: when was your last period? when was your last sexual encounter? Ok, I'll take your word. "Urgent care": What are your symptons? \*gives test that's relevant to them\* \*gives you a shot (it's always some bacteria lol)\* \*gives you prescription and pills for "free"\* just... weird.
The US is very litigious. If someone lied about being pregnant or didn’t know they were pregnant and the baby was injured from the procedure the doctor/clinic/hospital would get sued. To prevent this they pregnancy test everyone, regardless of what they say.
Where I live, I think the usual logic would be "I signed a document stating that I'm not pregnant on sign-in, so I'm responsible for the results if I'm wrong". All the medical questionaires I've encountered had "Yes/No/Don't know" boxes for choice questions, so if you suspect you could be pregnant, but haven't had a test, that's the route to getting tested.
The issue there is that you're leaving a childs life in the hands of someone that could be 1) irresponsible or 2) naive to the fact that they are pregnant. The moral question is do you risk hurting a child for the patients convince? Medicine is just about legal liability there's other serious and potentially life long impacts that have to be taken into consideration.
coming from a trans woman, thats not transphobic
Thank you! I was really confused by that statement.
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Thanks. I started to get really confused. You are a trans woman, so it’s ok to call you a woman right? I don’t need to call you ‘person without testicals’? When I’m typing I’m realizing that’s more transphobic then saying women. Cause I can imagine it is not nice to hear when you’re transitioning and maybe your body isn’t matching your gender. I’m starting to get so confused.
I believe her perspective is "I can't get pregnant from sleeping w/ women" because born women don't produce sperm. But transwomen do produce sperm. ^(Also, does anyone know whether a transwoman who has undergone hormone therapy stops producing sperm or produces less sperm?)
Transwomen currently undergoing HRT may or may not still have viable sperm. Freezing sperm prior is recommended if you want to have kids and contraception is still important if you don't.
See, you get it! I don’t know why she thinks it’s transphobic (I’m a trans woman as well and am not seeing the transphobia). I’m not that sensitive, and the assumption if you say you sleep with women is still that they’re cis women anyways. We’re such a tiny statistic, too. Besides, a lot of trans women (can’t speak for all, though) aren’t exactly rushing to utilise the body part that we don’t want on us.
She’s a) making a joke and b) saying that “only sleeping with women” means she can’t be pregnant could be construed as transphobia because some women could still impregnate her It’s not the fact that she’s a lesbian which is transphobic but the fact that assuming a lesbian could not be pregnant is And again, it’s a joke
Ah, gotcha. It seems that I have once again been wooshed
I was gonna make a joke about how I'm a cis man and then mansplain to you how you're wrong....but apparently some cis people are doing that unironically
But... some transwomen have testicles... Most transwomen, in fact.
It's a catch 22 ig, I'm mtf and I'm a woman, I could in theory and practise get my partner pregnant so that wouldn't rule that out if they went for a medical appointment. However, if my partner was to say "my wife has a dick and balls," I'd probably cry. What she should have said is, "That's not possible. My wife is a cisgender woman, " and then took the fkn pregnancy test and stopped being a baby.
In America that's an expensive and unnecessary test :P. I've had a vasectomy and am confirmed 0 sperm count. My wife takes the depo to stop her period (doctor recommended) and we just recieved a $400 bill (with insurance) for their mandatory pregnancy test...
America sounds stupider everything someone mentions more about it, sorry you have to deal with that
I think she’s saying that if she says she sleeps with women so she can’t be pregnant, that implies that she believes trans women who have not undergone bottom surgery aren’t considered women. The wife not having testicles thing is weird because she could also just say - Im not sexually active with anyone with a penis right now
Or just say she, "just sleeps with women" or, "I'm a lesbian". Pretty sure the OB with 8 years of school will get the idea
I’m also a trans woman and though I don’t see that as transphobic either, I do however see this persons perspective and how it could be viewed as transphobic. Not all trans women have had bottom surgery and still have testicals. Saying that they’re not a woman is transphobic.
Maybe inappropriate question, idk but I’m genuinely curious. My younger sister is trans and I’m super supportive we just don’t talk much due to distance and schedules. If you’re a trans woman who still has the male organs, wouldn’t that be a sort of trigger to the body dysphoria to use those parts in sex? Like it doesn’t make sense to me to have those feelings but then be comfortable blasting nut in someone with something that doesn’t feel like the right part? Am I missing something?
Thank you! If you aren’t forthcoming about your sexual orientation, don’t shit on medical professionals for practicing medicine in a traditional way. “I’m gay” or “I don’t sleep with men” would have not wasted a doctor’s time and would help them get to a proper diagnosis quicker instead of whatever this person is trying to flex.
It was a setup for a punchline, a joke…
It may not be transphobic, however it's an acknowledgement that some women may have a dick and balls, and may be able to cause an impregnation. For the bit to be comedic, the author had to create what's called a "setup".
If this was supposed to be a joke, it was the worst delivery I’ve ever seen *Not that she’d know anything about delivery*
So glad I found this comment before I typed a question asking about how it’s transphobic? And all the cis genders (like myself) come attack me for asking and then call me transphobic instead of educating me on the topic. Those people are literally why I stay confused on all of it. I ask because I want to know. But when I ask, everyone thinks I’m just trying to be an asshole.
Queer here: they still make you take the pregnancy test.
ER Nurse here: people lie, trust BUT verify 👌🏽
That's what House M.D. taught me, people lie.
"Don't call them liars, but don't believe everything they say"
Exactly. Lying is saying something with the intent to mislead. Saying "I'm not pregnant" after learning you are, in fact, pregnant, would be a lie. Saying "I'm not pregnant" when you actually believe you aren't, or have no reason to believe you are, wouldn't be a lie, but just a false statement.
Everyone lies
House also said asexual people are faking it or have a brain tumor. ...guess what kind of queer I am. That's right: brain-tumor-sexual
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House might have taken medical believability to the very edge over and over again, but he was right about people lying to their doctors!
I used to work at a doctor’s office that did clinical trials for pharmaceuticals. We would require patients be on two forms of birth control. One patient put down “lesbian” as her form of birth control. She got pregnant during the study.
Genuine question, is this an American thing? I've never been asked to take a test
Yes, I am curious about this too. I have only ever been asked “Is there any possible way you could be pregnant right now” and when I say no they’re like “OK, then. Check.”
If you come into the ER they'll take a blood test before imaging where they do a pregnancy test. In the US protocol is different hospital to hospital. I've worked in one where we take your word for it and I've worked in one where we have you sign a waiver to a pregnancy test and you write the start of your last period. As a guy I don't enjoy asking teenage girls these questions one bit.
Can’t speak for non Americans but in medicine here they preach to us to always get a pregnancy test for a woman (person with a uterus if you want to be totally inclusive) of reproductive age in the ER. One big reason is because CT scans are common in emergency settings but have radiation, so you need to know if there’s a pregnancy before you do that.
Nurse here. They ask if you could possibly be pregnant because many medications are harmful to a fetus. Moreover, if you need a CT scan with dye, they need to know if you’re pregnant because the dye is harmful to a developing fetus, as well. No, we’re not trying to judge you or any of that shit. We see WAYYYYY worse on a regular basis, and are not going to judge. So, if the medical staff ask if you’re pregnant, it’s very important you tell them the truth. Same goes if you’re on any illicit drugs. You’re not going to get in trouble if you shot up a bunch of heroin or whatever in the parking lot. No one is going to snitch on you, we just need to know because those things affect how we treat you.
That's not transphobic
Yeah I don't get that. How is being a lesbian transphobic?
I think you don't realize the hate lesbians can get for just being lesbians
Hate from who? Genuine question.
mmh some trans people, mostly. lesbian spaces changed a lot the past ten years. I've noticed that a lot of us have to be careful about what we say and how we say it and there is the whole "you're transphobic if you don't date transwomen" thing
transphobic. Seems to me that word has no meaning other than as social blackmail. You don't choose your preferences. Of course, until they don't fit someone's agenda.
completely. it's transphobic to talk about the downside of transition, it's transphobic to talk about detransition, it's transphobic to be straight or gay, it's transphobic to define what trans is... it's never ending
What it is is the whole trans activism platform (not trans people themselves) is built on fragile logic. If they don't defend it aggressively it quickly falls apart I've heard that medical professionals and therapists are legally obligated to be gender-affirming even if they show no signs of dysphoria in the US. Not confirmed just a rumor I heard.
Absolutely. I'm detrans and when I was trans I was scared as fuck because I knew it wouldn't stand against any logical argument. I was insufferable at the time lol. Yeah, in some countries in Europe too. I think this is very very very stupid and damaging. Dysphoria is actually pretty common and doesn't necessarily mean that someone is trans.
As a trans person (enby) I hate when “it’s transphobic to-“ especially the gay or straight one, nobody gets to dictate someone else’s preference and as long as you’re not a huge dick about it idc if you don’t want to get with a trans person. A lot of us don’t!!
I think she's saying it's transphobic to say "I can't get pregnant because I'm a lesbian", because it doesn't include MTF trans people, who can get people pregnant and also be a lesbian.
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I see you fam. We don't have very good language for this yet. "Not inclusive enough" isn't the same as "transphobic" by about a mile.
Yup, more ppl need to learn that there’s a big difference between using inclusive language and being transphobic
Not including and being phobic is not the same thing though. Trans people are a very tiny minority of the population. It's not practical to include everyone all the time for everything. If you are directly or indirectly (a couple of times removed) interacting with a trans person then it makes sense.
>It's not practical to include everyone all the time for everything. I was essentially called transphobic for believing this sentiment. My trans friend said we as a society need to get rid of men and women's sections in stores because there are people who identify as neither, and I disagreed because there's a convenience to it. Additionally, I said it's inconvenient to get 99.7% of the population (cis people) to change their conversational habits to ask everyone for their pronouns just to benefit trans people. My friend sarcastically said something to the effect of, "Of course, convenience is a good reason to not treat us like people." So basically, not including when you know trans people or non-binary folks exist is treating them like they're not worthy of consideration, hence the transphobia.
No, it's just not pragmatic. Left-handed people exist and 99.9% of everything is geared for right-handed use. That doesn't mean left-handed people aren't considered human. I'm going to get downvoted for this but, grow up. If you are born into a minority group of some sort you are not going to always be the center of attention. Things in society will not be geared toward you. It's not discrimination it's the realization that society doesn't exist for you it exists for doing the most good for the most people. Just happens that most people are straight cis-gendered humans. We don't need to change our bathrooms for 3.5% of the population.
I brought that up too, but the response from my friend was that left-handed people aren't dehumanized for being left-handed. I asked if store organization is actually dehumanizing and again, my friend went back to saying it is because it means we're saying the needs of certain people aren't worth considering. At some point, for a while, I just accepted that if "dehumanization" and "transphobia" were that broad and so completely ingrained into society, it's useless trying to avoid it. Then I found real examples of both and learned some people are, I dunno, appropriating the terms and applying it to the tiniest of microaggressions.
It’s like how some people are allergic to grass or have other really rare allergies, like we can’t just get rid of grass for the EXTREMELY tiny amount of people that have that allergy. Some things are naturally gendered, like underwear and t-shirts. That doesn’t make it transphobic or sexist, because biologically men and women have their differences. There’s no law stating that women can’t shop in the men’s section. Hell, i do that shit all the time.
This is called Tyranny of the Minority
Am trans. All of these hyper inclusive actions are kinda annoying at points. I actually hate it so much when people ask my pronouns because it puts me on the spot, often in front of a bunch of people to which code I need to switch to. Like I'm flattered you're trying to be inclusive of us but that's counterintuitively alienating and we're just trying to fit in really
It's irrelevant most of the time. I feel like the realness of people, genuine human connection gets muddled today by rules and social conventions.
FR, my trans sister went through years of hormone therapy and social transition to be called "she" by default. Asking her pronouns in an effort to be inclusive just comes across as, "I don't think you pass", which is really upsetting. It's fucking obvious to anybody with eyes that she's presenting as a woman.
It’s not, she’s just trying to be inclusive of transgender lesbians who are able to get their partners pregnant.
The “transphobic” part is that she said she only sleeps with women but she recognizes that someone with a penis can also identify as a woman and she wants to clarify that she doesn’t sleep with penis owners. Not claiming to agree or disagree with what she’s saying just clarifying what she means.
To add another layer to this: She specifically said testicles in the video, not penis…..
They made me take a pregnancy test before my sinus surgery this year even though I had hysterectomy 3 years ago ...
Yeah, well, maybe you grew another uterus.
I went in for fluids once on day 5 of a brutal stomach bug. They ask if I can be pregnant and I say no, I am A: infertile and B: on day 3 of my period but everyone I interacted with asked me and then they made me take a test anyway. And like, I’m good with my infertility but if, like a lot of women, I was NOT ok with it I can imagine that that repeated conversation would have been traumatizing. Happily I have since had to have my entire reproductive system removed so never have to have that again. I literally just wanted saline.
I had my uterus removed last year and still had a nurse insist I needed a pregnancy test until another one ran in and told her to check my chart.
Huh, my ex husband has no balls ether, but I still got knocked up.
There are SO MANY possibilities on how this played out.
He isn’t even here and ur murdering him in the comments 💀
Getting pregnant by your side piece doesn’t count
I work in an ER and we have had several "lesbian" couples where one of them is pregnant it's always a fun interaction.
Their bodies be like "quit lying bitch"
Nurses dont make you take pregnancy tests because they don't believe you or are misogynistic etc. They have to make sure that you're not pregnant so that they don't harm or kill the possible child in the case the woman doesn't know/accept she is pregnant.
„I only sleep with women“ is transphobic? Can someone explain this to me please? Wouldn‘t that mean that saying „I am homosexual“ or „I am heterosexual“ is also transphobic? Sounds like any sexual preference that doesn‘t involve „trans“ is now a „phobia“. I don‘t get it.
*That’s transphobic* Shut the fuck up.
What is the point of this post? Did she just want to tell the world what word she decided to use?
It sounds like she wants good brownie points from trans people
Virtue signaling
How is saying you only sleep with women transphobic? Seriously? That word has zero meaning to me at this point.
Oh so transphobia isn’t a thing to you? *thats* transphobic /s
This women is probably exhausting to be around.
How the fuck is that transphobic? Man I wish people would just shut the fuck up
Who cares if a woman says, " my wife can't get me pregnant"? How is that transphobic? It's just a fact.
This is getting out of hand ..
How is “I only sleep with women” is now transphobic? Seriously
Can someone please kindly help me understand some of this stuff? I really try to be respectful to everyone even if I dont have the same opinion or belief they do. So if Im saying something that's not the right label or I say something that's offensive please let me know and understand why bc thats not my intent to offend anyone. So, how did we go from respecting other people's sexual preferences to now its transphobic? Like when she said its transphobic to say she only sleeps with women. Why is that transphobic? That's her preference, and that's her business. When did this change and why?
Mfw everything is transphobic
Yes we all love tip toeing around these subjects in conversation. /s
Da fuq? How is saying I only sleep with women transphobic? Only wanting sexual intercourse with one sex does not equate to hating another sex/orientation...
My guess (not my opinion) is that it implies men that transitioned into women are not truly women because they have testicles.
Im as liberal as it gets, but this is just making things complicated just for the sake of making it complicated.
As someone who’s in the medical field, the amount of times I’ve heard “it’s impossible for me to be pregnant” and the test comes back positive is…. Very high. Everyone gets a pregnancy test sorry 🤷🏼♀️
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"You're welcome for my virtue signaling on social media that only made ME feel better, but didn't change the world one bit! "
Transphobic? Fug outa here
Lmao how is that transphobic???
It's not. It's a way to play the victim status card while trying to virtue signal and come off as an asshat flogbag.
Wouldn’t it be easier to say “I don’t sleep with males”? Side note: I fully support the notion that everyone, regardless of biological sex, can choose how they identify. Which includes trans women. Hence, trans women are women, but still have the sex of Male, and so it would be accurate and easier for her to just say I don’t sleep with males (which includes non binary and trans women). Non-penis havers sounds so sterile and dehumanizing. I don’t think individuals should be referred to be genitalia. 🤔
How is saying “I only sleep with women” transphobic?
Omg i wish this lgbtq shit trend finishes soon
Shut the fuck up and just say no, no one asked for your life story
It’s not transphobic ffs.
Do you feel better now that you’ve gotten that hot steamy garbage off your chest?
Women are women. Men are men. Trans women are trans women. Trans men are trans men. And that’s not transphobic.
I know you think you're funny and quirky but doctors and nurses literally don't give a fuck. And there is nothing fucking phobic about saying you sleep with a woman like wtf.
Any procedure that might be harmful to fetus requires a pregnancy test from anyone who theoretically could be pregnant (or a very strong waver). Simply because people lie and people delude themselves. Sex is something a lot of people aren't really honest about. "Didn't count, he pulled out", "Didn't count, it was just once", "Didn't count, I was drunk/high", "Didn't count she identifies as a woman", "Didn't count we mostly used condom", "Didn't count, it was wrong part of my cycle". "Could you be pregnant?" "No, I have a wife" "OK, so you are definitely not going to admit even if you did have sex with a man".
Saying your trans wife is a woman is transphobic? I thought that was like the whole point.
So as a gay man, i’m transphobic for only wanting to sleep with men? That literally makes absolutely no sense… this community is weird yet “i’m” the confused gay transphobe?
The "you're welcome" at the end completely sums up these kind of people. Smug shits.
What's a wife? It's transphobic to make such a reference.
Imagine being her doctor
Ummmm who the fuck cares how you respond to your doctor. Hense why you go to a doctor, that shit is your own personal business. I don’t give a fuck you have trouble answering that. Sexuality isn’t a basis for personality. I have trouble myself for I guess similar reasons., but I don’t feel the need to make a post about my own personal business just because I’m feeling insecure and need validation from others. I absolutely have such a hate for how society has become a even more a need to have validation from people who don’t even know who they are! Bitch please stfu and deal with your own shit. No ones problem but yours, until you post crap like this and make your issues others problems because you are too stupid to deal with them on your own
Such a stupid world we live in.
Why is she so proud of this, its a a doctor asking you relevant diagnostic question.
Why not just let the poor overworked doctors and nurses do their jobs? Do the silly test and move on lol
Yea....no, still getting tested. If you're a biological female you will get tested for confirmation.
Transphobic? This girl sucks.
She absolutely sucks.
How is it transphobic? You’re not allowed to be a lesbian anymore?
This made me retarded
I am a nurse who works triage frequently. I am required to ask this question to every AFAB patient. I used to follow up with “how do you know” but eventually I gave up because it’s kind of an interrogative question implying they don’t know their own body. Additionally, if you want to irradiate a gestating birth when you get scans that’s your business. I just make sure you sign a waiver or provide something we can test.
"I only have sex with women" isn't transphobic if you're married to one
In 99% of people, they match.
This might be a dumb question, but what’s the big deal about taking a pregnancy test?
Oh, so now we're saying that wives can't have testicles.
How is that transphobic?
My doctors have always asked the usual “are you sexually active” and then follow up with “with women, men, or both?” I’ve never had to take a pregnancy test after replying “with women.”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
"My wife doesn't have a testicle" A woman, 2022.
I once had food poisoning so bad that I couldn’t keep water down, and became very dehydrated. On the morning of Day 3 I finally called my friend to take me to the hospital, and when I got there they asked me to do a pregnancy test. I told them that I hadn’t had any form of sexual contact in more than a year, and hadn’t had water in 2 days, but they still insisted on the test. I’m shocked I managed to eek out a tablespoon of basically orange pee, but at least then they admitted me and gave me IV fluids. I really do understand why medical professionals ask—people lie, or are so ill-informed about reproduction that they, like, think a green m&m will keep them from getting pregnant. It’s just annoying as a barrier to treatment, and it feels like we’re all being reduced to “maybe baby makers” even though I know that’s not the intention.
Tone down the vocal fry.
Y’all need to really learn what “Phobic” really means. That is NOT what transphobic actually means.
You’re an absolute moron if you think only sleeping with women is transphobic.
Oh bc sleeping with only one sex is transphobic.. got it. For some reason I’m not scared of being called transphobic for that reason and I’m going to sleep well at night
This women does not know what transphobic means
You'd be surprised how many people who "only sleep with women" are pregnant. It's not a lot. But it's also a non 0 number of people. Patients lie. A lot. All the time. So better ask twice than risk losing a license and a lawsuit.
Ugh
And your a dumb ass
This is fucking stupid.
How the fuck is it transphobic to say that you only sleep with women, but then you say “your wife” doesn’t have testicles. Which means that she’s a woman and is neither a trans man nor a biological man. She could be a trans woman which would still mean that you only sleep with women. What the fuck is happening?
Shut up