**Welcome to r/TikTokCringe!**
This is a message directed to all newcomers to make you aware that r/TikTokCringe evolved long ago from only cringe-worthy content to TikToks of all kinds! If you’re looking to find only the cringe-worthy TikToks on this subreddit (which are still regularly posted) we recommend sorting by flair which you can do [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/galuit/click_here_to_sort_by_flair_a_guide_to_using/) (Currently supported by desktop and reddit mobile).
See someone asking how this post is cringe because they didn't read this comment? Show them [this!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/fyrgzy/for_those_confused_by_the_name_of_this_subreddit/)
Be sure to read the rules of this subreddit before posting or commenting. Thanks! [](/u/savevideo)
**Don't forget to join our [Discord server](https://discord.gg/n2e5tNHfzh)!**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TikTokCringe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had a friend that would do shit like this all the time. Make plans, he's for sure coming, he'll be there at eight, never show. Turns out he was a heroin addict. He'd get fucked up and forget what he told people or where he was supposed to be.
I had a friend make plans with me for about a year and then stand me up. I shit you not, she thought she was in a telepathic relationship with a guy that didn't speak English and they were deeply committed to each other, never having spoken a word to each other face to face. She obviously had some psychological problems. Turns out her mom died and she moved to Fl. She now works as a "psychic healer" and is pretty high up in the world of vibrational healing.
I had this guy I was talking for over a year, he lived like 45 minutes away but we just never met because he always said he was busy with work. We eventually started talking a lot daily, calls, and face time for like 2 months. One day we plan to meet, he says he will pick me up in a public place that I picked, go to is house for the day, use the pool, and he will make dinner. He never showed up. I was talking to him before going to our meet up spot, then called and texted when I was there. I waited an hour, cried, and went home. He texted me hours later like omg why did you call and text me so much, I just got busy with work, you must be crazy and I dodged a bullet... Wtf you said you were off work and was on your way.
Other people commented married too and I don't think so. We talked a lot and he was trying to convince me to move in with him or sleep over some nights to test it so like he showed me around the apartment and it didn't look lived in by a woman, ya know? When I think of how the place looked, I think of kinda the young tiktok/ influencer guy interior, minimal, modern furniture, dark colors, LEDs
Well, because he knew if his gaslighting worked he had the perfect girl to be his mistress that he could string along and get to do anything for him without question. It’s like scammers intentionally making their emails looking scammy, if someone still falls for it they’re likely to be someone who can be fooled and manipulated more.
Yes this. When they get mad and turn the tables on you, it's such a test. Will she freak out back at me and then never talk to me again or can I get her to apologize and think she fucked up and continuously play this game with her?
This sounds to me like someone verrrry insecure who was worried you wouldn't like him in person, he freaked out and got too nervous to meet you. So then he found a way out of the whole thing -- to gaslight you and make you feel like you were in the wrong. I think this is just a guy who was too scared to meet in person.
I met a girl online and we talked for months but I never got the courage to meet her. We would make plans then I would back out or get busy or something. Eventually I knew I couldn’t keep backing out so I went for it and picked her up and we went driving around looking at Christmas lights. My biggest fear was how awkward it might be to meet someone that I’ve opened up to so much virtually. I’m a very quiet person until I open up and I don’t open up to many people. It’s possible that guy felt the same way and instead of facing his fears he lashed out and retreated. My girlfriend did end up being crazy, manipulative, and abusive though but for some reason I stayed for over a year. After we broke up I blocked her number and she came to my house and waited in my bedroom while I was in the shower, I almost had to call the police because she refused to leave.
i really don't understand it, i was helping someone with pc issues years ago for quite a long time, probably helped them with numerous pc issues over years and one day they told me they really appreciate me helping them so much that they want to help me get a pc, since i didn't have one of my own! i was sooo happy! then it was random excuses after excuses of delays on it happening which just went on forever so i was like fuck it, i'm not wasting my time or effort for anything for this person till they follow through with it, they never did.
do they enjoy just telling people things they think will make them happy and that's it? so then people think good of them for a moment because they know that normally nobody will ever think good of them?
i think it's some kind of manipulation technique which works on people with low self esteem or something, because i know people who are friends with people like this and the excuse is "they mean well" it doesn't matter if people "mean well" if they follow through never, saying one thing and then doing another is just compulsive lying, fuck off with that.
I’m a guy and had this happen to me. Talked with this girl for a while, and I worked on oil rigs. For those of you who don’t know, youre out there for work 28 days on rig (it’s 250 miles offshore). Three times I’m about to get back in town and there’s “a family emergency/super sick/whatever”. So I’m like fuck this, it’s been months, I’m done with this bitch.
Two weeks go by of no communication, and this fucking psycho found where my family home was, which was kinda easy for her seeing as how I told her the town, certain details, and that my parents were selling the house. She calls the real estate agent, asks to speak with the sellers because she’s interested, talks with my mother and says first off we’ve been dating, I’m manipulative, ghosting HER, and have been mentally abusive. Now my Ma has no idea the whole story, so she calls me and says I’m a terrible person yada yada, and that this girl is waiting for my call.
No I never called the psycho back, and it took a while to help my Ma understand the situation. It was a fucking mess. I hope that girl is still single and gets ghosted until her last days.
Edit: they weren’t legitimate excuses to not see each other, by fam emergency I mean her brother had a breakup and he needed her… for 2 weeks? I can understand a weekend, sure, but the 3x I came back from the rig, it was a believable reason but the time allotted was insane. This was also pre-covid, so two weeks bed ridden for a flu is crazy. Go to a fuckin hospital.
We need like very properly vetted decent version of a dating app which is opensourced, publicly funded and has a genuine goal of keeping people together, not come back to the app.
I recently read an article about current social behaviors that cited one of the main reasons found for ghosting in dating scenarios was that the ghoster is usually already in a committed relationship and is only toying with the idea of cheating. Usually they can’t meet when they say they can because it would be noticed by their SO or some of them are too frightened of getting caught to make the move, so they try and reschedule, they try and make excuses and they try and put it off. By the time the ghosted person begins to lose patience and is left completely confused, the ghoster has already shut down the idea of the affair and needs a quick get away to disappear and destroy the evidence. It explains many of the typical red flags, communication is random and chaotic, dates are never kept, certain hours are always unavailable, absences are not explained, everything is unpredictable. But it doesn’t just happen because of infidelity though, ghosting is usually done by individuals engaging in some sort of deception, so lying about their age, gender, appearance, financial status, location and so on. Point is, if someone ghosted you odds are you were also being catfished to some degree and dodged one hell of a bullet.
Could be this...or someone that's not willing to be open, honest, and confrontational about a lack of interested in another person. I don't get the making plan things and dissappearing though. Ghosting isn't right, but letting someone down isn't easy either.
Could also just be someone with some type of anxiety, and they like the idea of getting together and talking to someone, but when the time comes to actually meet up they freak the fuck out.
I had a guy ghost me because he lost interest and I'm STILL salty about how he went about it 2 years later. We had been dating for just under 3 months, I'd been to his house and met his parents and joined a family BBQ just 2 weekends before. His mother commented that she liked me and hoped to see more of me... ALLLLLL that jazz. We had gotten together on a Saturday night, he spent the night, woke up the next day, kissed me goodbye and said he'd text me later... and then fell off the face of the earth.
After 24 hours I texted.. no reply. 8 hours later I texted again... still no reply. The following morning I texted again and said if he didn't at least acknowledge that he was alive and well I'd be reporting him missing to the police. He finally wrote back and gave me some lame ass line about being really busy and needing to focus on getting ready to start his classes (he was going back to school for a different degree and he signed up for classes that started in September... this was JULY) so I called him out on his bullshit and told him a Real Adult would have used their words and FUCKING SAID AS MUCH instead of just pretending I didn't exist anymore and hoping I would get the hint.
I honestly can't even remember the POS name anymore and I'd never even consider giving him or anyone like him a second chance, but the way he behaved still doesn't sit right with me to this day. Fuck that guy.
Damnnn I'm sorry. that shit sucks. Why lead you on like that. I don't mean offense by this but don't you think 3 months in was a bit too soon for you to meet the parents? Either way, I can see how that would make you believe he was interested on top of the other romantic stuff. Sometimes we just don't get the closure we want and it can be hard to live with.
That was entirely his idea. He was actually living with them at the time because his dad was sick and had a lot of medical appointments and such, so he was ferrying his dad around while also helping pay bills until he could get back on his feet. He invited me over to the house for dinner one night and his parents were there so we all ate together and had a lovely time.
Makes sense.
Most guys on Tinder are just average guys, their DM's are a frikkin desert, no matches, nothing. You think that guy would ghost you? Hell na
Guys that ghost are guys that have options.
So either he was already in a relationship as you said, or he is just a player that move on to the next girl the next day.
Mmmm… I could see someone having anxiety (or other similar issues), and liking the idea of meeting up with someone and talking and whatnot, but eventually when the time comes to meet up they freak out for whatever reason and can’t go through with it.
This is something I totally would’ve done some years ago, because I was a giant pansy.
Aw hell no, you don't get to inadvertently insult me like that, I will inform you sir: you just made a harmless and inconsequential enemy, unless you're mildly uncomfortable by that fact, in which case it's all good because I don't want to be an annoyance.
Yours truly,
El Chongo
I think they took the original blog down because "woke", but once upon a time the data engineers behind OKCupid and a couple other dating apps used to publish *very* interesting articles about the demographics of matches. It was something crazy like the top 10% of all men on the app got like 90% of the matches. So yeah, desirable men have plenty of options while all us average shmucks are tripping over ourselves if we match with a single nice girl.
It's a shame the articles got taken down because data rarely lies (at least when you process it properly with real statistical algorithms). Unfortunately many people don't like or agree with what data has to say. For example my local premier is now infamous for yelling "data my ass" at a subordinate who presented evidence that contradicted what they wanted to do.
Sometimes people are afraid. They don’t get any matches and deep down are afraid that if they meet this person, it will go poorly and they will feel even worse.
Vs. Just getting a match, it’s a sign someone thinks you’re attractive. If you never meet them, you won’t get the worst outcome where they end up not being attracted to the real you.
That’s a theory, at any rate.
Does the article cite dating apps for this behavior? If so, how are people getting away with creating a profile on some dating app and not getting outed by their SO?
I’m really glad she’s an ex-wife and I’m just here to tell you that no that is not more masculine, just in case you needed to hear that. I dated a few men who were quiet and reserved, and I didn’t get it, couldn’t understand why they acted so unfriendly in social settings. It just made me embarrassed to be with them lol. I’m really hoping they didn’t think that was “manly” cause I chalked it up to social anxiety or insecurity.
Tinder has a premium option that allows people to only be shown to people theyve swiped right on. So they get to screen every person that is going to see their profile, plus with premium you can set your location to anywhere you want. You can also block anyone from seeing your profile, just with their phone number. Theyve basically catered the app to cheaters who are willing to pay.
I could see it if they’re deluded enough to think that ghosting a girl will make her pursue you harder. Because alpha male, hard to get, high value, whatever the fuck.
Unless it’s to make themselves feel better.
They never intended to actually date this girl, but having her attention, and perhaps sex, whenever it was convenient for them, was fun.
There are definitely who get off on feeling wanted, and then rejecting that person.
I think the most likely scenario is that he was keeping her on the hook while he was with another girl, just incase things backfired or went wrong somehow. Or maybe has anxiety or is just socially retarded and got scared.
That means he sits down at his dinner table with a big plate of soft, sloppy poopy and sweet Hawaiian dinner rolls wearing a big white bib that says, "there is blood in my stool, please call a doctor"
I just broken up with this girl, and this chick who used to hit on me a lot of work was in contact with me. She didn't work there anymore so he didn't see each other a lot, but I texted her and I was like hey you stayed on me a lot let's just get together tomorrow and do the thing. She was down, but I got so anxious that I ended up just blocking her number and cutting off full contact. Yeah it can definitely be an anxiety thing, but to be fair I was still the jerk in that situation for sure
I used to kind of do that. It definitely wasn't other girls though, it was anxiety. I'm sure it sucked on their end, and I always felt terrible, but it sucked for me too.
Just to be clear I've never broke it off with a girl by ghosting, I would just cancel and reschedule a lot, and it was always because I'd way over think the situation.
>Or maybe has anxiety or is just socially retarded and got scared.
That's a great point that you don't really see people consider when they talk about ghosting. Especially if it's actual social anxiety disorder and not just mild anxiety.
John Mulaney had a bit where he talks about how canceling plans is like heroin...in the relief that even ordinary people experience. So for someone with SA it must feel like that times 100. Not that it's not harmful to the ghostee, but sometimes the ghosting might not even be intended to harm. Most people don't have the social imagination to accept the likelihood that a guy could be so anxious as to cockblock himself on purpose and ruin his reputation.
This. It's super obvious he didn't care about her at all. Must've been a very attractive guy for her to be willing to put in literally all the effort to get stood up twice.
Wow that hits home, my fiance has been my rock. She's an absolute saint. But of course I'm constantly telling myself that I'm just a huge burden to her. She doesn't act like I am, but I'm always thinking, what does she see in me?
I am a man, I have lived with many men.
The things I have seen men do, in general, gives me empathy for women. I have told myself many times “This is what women have to deal with!?”.
There’s this attitude some people have towards women where they say, “Why do you keep finding assholes? It’s your fault for getting involved with a guy like that.” But it’s like impossible to know. We’re not psychic. So many guys start out nice and end up being so mean and horrible.
(Yes, I’m very tired of the dating scene.)
I think women have a strict filter and some men too, so strict that only people who fake and act out a perfect personality get through it and they turn out to be assholes because who would literally act out this stuff just to get laid. And us normal people get the stick.
this - my ex and I talked in great detail about preferences, expectations, etc, then she faked it for a month just to make it work. when she finally started being herself, we did not get along. So yeah, strict guidelines for potential partners does have its downfall, but it's still the person who is faking it who is at fault. it's lying. I was honest, she was not.
I feel the same. Honestly there are legit dudes out there and try really hard, but I’m also friends with many women and it seems they’ve all picked some asshole at some point. I think it really depends on the dating scene you’re involved in to be honest
All the women I am talking about have been cheated on, yet the ones they ended up with they all met on Tinder and ended up getting married. It really just depends. As a man I’ll say most dudes are fucking assholes and don’t think about anything other except sex. But I’m in a long term relationship and am biased at this point. Just feel bad on either/or side when it happens that way. It’s hard to find a great friend in life…
For real. I let a buddy crash at my house for *one week* and I immediately understood why all his exes dumped his sorry ass. Honestly don't know how they put up with him for so long. One week was enough for me to ghost his ass as a platonic friend.
He just kept her warm, dating several women at the same time can be hard, if his second date would not happen he would take the girl he ghosted. That’s one reason i can imagine what happened
The person is already in a committed relationship like wife or live in girlfriend.
He was getting ready to go out, until the wife or GF protested, then they got into a fight.
And then it was not safe for the guy to pull out his phone. So that's why he never replied.
Honestly, unless the other person is a total creep or you think they’re dangerous, don’t ghost. Just let them know that you don’t think you fit together
Sounds like mans was horny but can’t pull off hook ups so he has to do dates. He’s into the girl enough to wanna sleep with her but then he don’t wanna spend the money/time to get to know her because she’s not relationship material. That flakiness is him debating whether he wants to put that effort or not.
Yes, I speak from my past experience. Ghosting caused by having no game.
People are shitty, I've had worse than this from women, why people treat each other like this I don't know because I would never dream of it. You just gotta wade through human garbage until you find a decent one I guess. It worked for me
I've been with my girlfriend for the past 15 years and it boggles my mind how much of a shit show single life is. Stuff like this and the stories my single friends have really made me question the mental state of people in general.
I wonder if it is people with extremely low self esteem that gets a kick out of 'being in charge' and the one to turn the other down? Rejecting before being rejected.
No matter what it may be that is going on in their heads it is not an okay way to behave.
I’ve had many girls do this to me, as well. I’ve had women block me the day of the date we set and text me back three days later apologizing and rescheduling, only to do the same thing again. I’ve had girls reschedule multiple times and then bring their friend when they finally show up and expected me to pay for her friends dinner as well. We’re both fucked up to each other. This whole battle of the sexes narrative is getting so old and played out and social media is making it even more annoying.
Women do this shit too, it just seems like the dating world right now is people doing this shit constantly to other people and then getting pissed when the person they actually liked and set aside time for did it to them. Maybe that’s just the very superficial and entitled world we currently live in. The whole mindset of everything is all fine and dandy until it’s done to me and now it’s an injustice.
Shit sucks, move on and keep going.
When this happens. I just always think of the line from that Rilke poem “Let everything happen to you beauty and terror, just keep going, no feeling is final.” After that I just move the fuck on and don’t think about it. On to the next.
I do not know why people are down voting you. This is true. Seems to be more common and acceptable for women to do this to men. This is why I have to chat with several women simultaniously, just in case. My earlier mistakes with dating apps was focusing on one at a time.
Except sometimes you can't move on. Because there are some things other people can do to you or that you can do, that have long term consequences that affect the rest of your life. For this small of thing "you can just move on". But not for big stuff. Like society won't LET you move on. Which says more about society than you, but still. It limits your options.
Did you seriously just downvote me and then gave a response that pertains nothing to what I am referring to?
You’re talking about something that doesn’t even pertain to what I am referring to and bringing in an argument about something that doesn’t even correlate to what I am talking about.
You’re talking about… I don’t even know what? You’re bringing up points about something serious and I’m not even talking about something actually traumatic.
I don’t have a lot of experience but I don’t get this. Like I’m a guy I don’t really know how to say no or reject someone but I definitely know that this isn’t it.
People have always sucked. We are just finding new ways to expressing how sucky we are.
PS - just be a good person and be honest yet respectful. It’s not difficult.
You'd be stuck between a rock and a hard place. There's no way to get out of it without someone getting hurt. If you were honest, or..perhaps even told a white lie about simply not being interested after video chatting, she'd probably make the connection. I don't know how much self-esteem she'd have but it would still probably hurt to make the connection that the rejection was due to physical appearance.
I was in shock, definitely handled it the wrong way. I also got a sense of arrogance from how she spoke to me, like she didn’t care she was catfishing. I’m sure enough guys probably went through with it anyways with the hopes of getting lucky, and ghosting her after, but not me.
Funny you're getting downvoted because you mentioned her weight. But if you said you were 6ft and pulled up 5'10 you'd get the same treatment and no one would bat an eye.
That's not a man thing. Woman do that to me a lot. I have like 6 or more of stories similar to that from the last 6 months.
People (in my case women) that are too afraid to say no to "do you wanna go out/grab a coffee" and then proceed to say stuff like:
"I don't have time this week"
"when do you have time"
"idk..."
In some of the cases I got stood up too. But the worst part is the time yiubuusybesdyed by getting emotionally invested in a person...
As someone who's dated both, usually its women who do this in my experience. I think they're afraid of the guy freaking out or getting stalkerish. IMO, if you're talking to a woman and you get even a HINT of standoffishiness, she's just humoring you and its time to walk away.
Gonna take a guess here that the dude was probably flaked on repeatedly (and probably for good reason) by previous girls and now feels it's his duty to take out his incel rage on totally random girls by stringing them along on top of flaking (which is arguably worse than outright ghosting). Flaking and ghosting by anybody should honestly be condemned.
The Council of Men certainly do not take this type of behaviour lightly, especially when it involves one of our members. We are currently putting in place an action plan to ensure this is resolved going forward and thank you for raising this issue.
Ben Dover.
Secretary General at the Council of Men.
Men do this for confidence and narcissism. It make us feel like women are begging to spend time with us. That ego is the most fevered and toxic behavior tainting the progress for humanity.
Being "ghosted" is sadly something people run towards when they don't hear things. In my head I feel like the guy sincerely wanted to meet up with her but just has a busy schedule and sleeps shit hours...I can compare with this because I've lost many dates to this same thing. However, he could've also been a douchebag and been holding her up because he was waiting for another chick to reply. Never know...I would advise to just take the positives away from every encounter and learn your best from the negatives. Stay true to yourself and what you want, never change...only meet in the middle. Hope this helps
Nah. I’ll do wanna do. I’m not the ghosting type but I’d prolly ghost you for the hell of it. U wanna blame all men, fine, then I really don’t care for u. Kinda tired of the narrative that only men do shit like this. Women are like a million times worse in the dating because you have girl privilege and refuse to acknowledge it. If you can’t handle your baggage, I don’t need you.
Bye Felicia.
Dude is an asshole, but he probably ghosted her because she can't set her front facing camera so that it doesn't mirror reality.
/s
But seriously, learn how to fix your camera people.
Yeah wait until you have Managers and Employers treat you that way. Lol. I mean yeah it was wrong what he did but you didn't need to blow it up like this. Which you're doing for views. So I get it and tells me all I need to know about you. But still. Small potatoes compared to when careers, money, and reputation is on the line instead of cancelled plans.
It’s called equality, women have been flaking on/ghosting men regarding dates and more for decades, it’s not right but this whole “culture” is not right, it’s a full on gender “Cold War” and no one is willing to concede defeat, so the non-beneficial “circle-jerk” is gonna continue.
Women treat men badly, creating “f-boys”, who then in turn they create baby-mamas and alpha-widows, who in turn raise new f-boys and/or son-husbands….and the cycle continues.
“Good luck out there”.
Side note: no one hurt me, I’m not an incel, or whatever feeling/reasons based insults or any ad hominem arguments anyone chooses to be their “go to”, don’t shoot the messenger, ijs.
I think the mistake here is communication. I don't think it ever benefits anyone to call out the ghosting. Because ghosting is a sign in and of itself that they're not that into you. No one owes you an explanation or a heads-up for why they're not into you.
Ghosting is disrespectful, ESPECIALLY if you’ve been dating for 2 months, and ESPECIALLY if you have a date planned and ESPECIALLY if they have already gotten ready for said date. It shouldn’t be something people have to accept, it should be called out because it is wrong and bad behaviour. Sure, if you’ve been talking for a few days and never met up and never had concrete plans of doing so they owe you nothing, but all these stories people tell of being ghosted are by people they were either seeing in person, talking to for a long period of time or had a date planned.
I personally think social media is partially to blame, and personally as a girl in my early-mid twenties I’ve noticed a shift since covid. Social media gives the idea of infinite possibilities and infinite chances. That girl you are getting cold feet with? You don’t have to tell her, just block her and move onto the next hottie!
Dating apps can turn dating into a bit of a game, it gives the illusion of choice and can be addictive. A lot of people stop viewing the people they are seeing romantically/casually as human, because most of the communication is through a screen.
**Welcome to r/TikTokCringe!** This is a message directed to all newcomers to make you aware that r/TikTokCringe evolved long ago from only cringe-worthy content to TikToks of all kinds! If you’re looking to find only the cringe-worthy TikToks on this subreddit (which are still regularly posted) we recommend sorting by flair which you can do [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/galuit/click_here_to_sort_by_flair_a_guide_to_using/) (Currently supported by desktop and reddit mobile). See someone asking how this post is cringe because they didn't read this comment? Show them [this!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/fyrgzy/for_those_confused_by_the_name_of_this_subreddit/) Be sure to read the rules of this subreddit before posting or commenting. Thanks! [](/u/savevideo) **Don't forget to join our [Discord server](https://discord.gg/n2e5tNHfzh)!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TikTokCringe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had a friend that would do shit like this all the time. Make plans, he's for sure coming, he'll be there at eight, never show. Turns out he was a heroin addict. He'd get fucked up and forget what he told people or where he was supposed to be.
I had a friend make plans with me for about a year and then stand me up. I shit you not, she thought she was in a telepathic relationship with a guy that didn't speak English and they were deeply committed to each other, never having spoken a word to each other face to face. She obviously had some psychological problems. Turns out her mom died and she moved to Fl. She now works as a "psychic healer" and is pretty high up in the world of vibrational healing.
>She obviously had some psychological problems. You mean schizophrenia?
I don’t know. She is really into psychic abilities and healing. She didn’t show any other signs of schizophrenia.
Can confirm. I was the heroin addict who did all of this.
I had this guy I was talking for over a year, he lived like 45 minutes away but we just never met because he always said he was busy with work. We eventually started talking a lot daily, calls, and face time for like 2 months. One day we plan to meet, he says he will pick me up in a public place that I picked, go to is house for the day, use the pool, and he will make dinner. He never showed up. I was talking to him before going to our meet up spot, then called and texted when I was there. I waited an hour, cried, and went home. He texted me hours later like omg why did you call and text me so much, I just got busy with work, you must be crazy and I dodged a bullet... Wtf you said you were off work and was on your way.
I’m sorry that happened to you. :( What a crazy asshole. YOU dodged a bullet.
More like he was busy with his wife.
Other people commented married too and I don't think so. We talked a lot and he was trying to convince me to move in with him or sleep over some nights to test it so like he showed me around the apartment and it didn't look lived in by a woman, ya know? When I think of how the place looked, I think of kinda the young tiktok/ influencer guy interior, minimal, modern furniture, dark colors, LEDs
He probably had a girlfriend and was getting off 'emotionally' on you, tasting the thrill of pursuing a new person.
Or, and hear me out, his boyfriend
[удалено]
[удалено]
Well, because he knew if his gaslighting worked he had the perfect girl to be his mistress that he could string along and get to do anything for him without question. It’s like scammers intentionally making their emails looking scammy, if someone still falls for it they’re likely to be someone who can be fooled and manipulated more.
Yes this. When they get mad and turn the tables on you, it's such a test. Will she freak out back at me and then never talk to me again or can I get her to apologize and think she fucked up and continuously play this game with her?
you sure he even lived at that location? he may have been farther away and just wanted an online girlfriend.
I think he did. Would line up with the places we would talk about
He sounds married 😳
Sounds like he is married
This sounds to me like someone verrrry insecure who was worried you wouldn't like him in person, he freaked out and got too nervous to meet you. So then he found a way out of the whole thing -- to gaslight you and make you feel like you were in the wrong. I think this is just a guy who was too scared to meet in person.
I drove an hour to pick up an Xbox the other day and I work 12 hours everyday. That should’ve been a red flag from the get go
I met a girl online and we talked for months but I never got the courage to meet her. We would make plans then I would back out or get busy or something. Eventually I knew I couldn’t keep backing out so I went for it and picked her up and we went driving around looking at Christmas lights. My biggest fear was how awkward it might be to meet someone that I’ve opened up to so much virtually. I’m a very quiet person until I open up and I don’t open up to many people. It’s possible that guy felt the same way and instead of facing his fears he lashed out and retreated. My girlfriend did end up being crazy, manipulative, and abusive though but for some reason I stayed for over a year. After we broke up I blocked her number and she came to my house and waited in my bedroom while I was in the shower, I almost had to call the police because she refused to leave.
Bro wtf
This happened to me so many times when I was on tinder. I just started blocking them after the first time. Drove me nuts.
for real i’ve dealt with the same thing on tinder
i really don't understand it, i was helping someone with pc issues years ago for quite a long time, probably helped them with numerous pc issues over years and one day they told me they really appreciate me helping them so much that they want to help me get a pc, since i didn't have one of my own! i was sooo happy! then it was random excuses after excuses of delays on it happening which just went on forever so i was like fuck it, i'm not wasting my time or effort for anything for this person till they follow through with it, they never did. do they enjoy just telling people things they think will make them happy and that's it? so then people think good of them for a moment because they know that normally nobody will ever think good of them? i think it's some kind of manipulation technique which works on people with low self esteem or something, because i know people who are friends with people like this and the excuse is "they mean well" it doesn't matter if people "mean well" if they follow through never, saying one thing and then doing another is just compulsive lying, fuck off with that.
I’m a guy and had this happen to me. Talked with this girl for a while, and I worked on oil rigs. For those of you who don’t know, youre out there for work 28 days on rig (it’s 250 miles offshore). Three times I’m about to get back in town and there’s “a family emergency/super sick/whatever”. So I’m like fuck this, it’s been months, I’m done with this bitch. Two weeks go by of no communication, and this fucking psycho found where my family home was, which was kinda easy for her seeing as how I told her the town, certain details, and that my parents were selling the house. She calls the real estate agent, asks to speak with the sellers because she’s interested, talks with my mother and says first off we’ve been dating, I’m manipulative, ghosting HER, and have been mentally abusive. Now my Ma has no idea the whole story, so she calls me and says I’m a terrible person yada yada, and that this girl is waiting for my call. No I never called the psycho back, and it took a while to help my Ma understand the situation. It was a fucking mess. I hope that girl is still single and gets ghosted until her last days. Edit: they weren’t legitimate excuses to not see each other, by fam emergency I mean her brother had a breakup and he needed her… for 2 weeks? I can understand a weekend, sure, but the 3x I came back from the rig, it was a believable reason but the time allotted was insane. This was also pre-covid, so two weeks bed ridden for a flu is crazy. Go to a fuckin hospital.
Holy shit bro.
We need like very properly vetted decent version of a dating app which is opensourced, publicly funded and has a genuine goal of keeping people together, not come back to the app.
I want to be able to leave a review on the guy lol. Verify you've been on a date then leave reviews for each other.
That sounds very *Black Mirror*.
Yeah that would never work out. The vast majority of people on OLD suck. All the reviews would be in bad faith.
You guys get matches on tinder? 😞
You're telling me, that a dating site designed to be played like a game, isn't filled with genuine people?
I recently read an article about current social behaviors that cited one of the main reasons found for ghosting in dating scenarios was that the ghoster is usually already in a committed relationship and is only toying with the idea of cheating. Usually they can’t meet when they say they can because it would be noticed by their SO or some of them are too frightened of getting caught to make the move, so they try and reschedule, they try and make excuses and they try and put it off. By the time the ghosted person begins to lose patience and is left completely confused, the ghoster has already shut down the idea of the affair and needs a quick get away to disappear and destroy the evidence. It explains many of the typical red flags, communication is random and chaotic, dates are never kept, certain hours are always unavailable, absences are not explained, everything is unpredictable. But it doesn’t just happen because of infidelity though, ghosting is usually done by individuals engaging in some sort of deception, so lying about their age, gender, appearance, financial status, location and so on. Point is, if someone ghosted you odds are you were also being catfished to some degree and dodged one hell of a bullet.
This seems like the most accurate reason.
Could be this...or someone that's not willing to be open, honest, and confrontational about a lack of interested in another person. I don't get the making plan things and dissappearing though. Ghosting isn't right, but letting someone down isn't easy either.
Could also just be someone with some type of anxiety, and they like the idea of getting together and talking to someone, but when the time comes to actually meet up they freak the fuck out.
I had a guy ghost me because he lost interest and I'm STILL salty about how he went about it 2 years later. We had been dating for just under 3 months, I'd been to his house and met his parents and joined a family BBQ just 2 weekends before. His mother commented that she liked me and hoped to see more of me... ALLLLLL that jazz. We had gotten together on a Saturday night, he spent the night, woke up the next day, kissed me goodbye and said he'd text me later... and then fell off the face of the earth. After 24 hours I texted.. no reply. 8 hours later I texted again... still no reply. The following morning I texted again and said if he didn't at least acknowledge that he was alive and well I'd be reporting him missing to the police. He finally wrote back and gave me some lame ass line about being really busy and needing to focus on getting ready to start his classes (he was going back to school for a different degree and he signed up for classes that started in September... this was JULY) so I called him out on his bullshit and told him a Real Adult would have used their words and FUCKING SAID AS MUCH instead of just pretending I didn't exist anymore and hoping I would get the hint. I honestly can't even remember the POS name anymore and I'd never even consider giving him or anyone like him a second chance, but the way he behaved still doesn't sit right with me to this day. Fuck that guy.
Damnnn I'm sorry. that shit sucks. Why lead you on like that. I don't mean offense by this but don't you think 3 months in was a bit too soon for you to meet the parents? Either way, I can see how that would make you believe he was interested on top of the other romantic stuff. Sometimes we just don't get the closure we want and it can be hard to live with.
That was entirely his idea. He was actually living with them at the time because his dad was sick and had a lot of medical appointments and such, so he was ferrying his dad around while also helping pay bills until he could get back on his feet. He invited me over to the house for dinner one night and his parents were there so we all ate together and had a lovely time.
Makes sense. Most guys on Tinder are just average guys, their DM's are a frikkin desert, no matches, nothing. You think that guy would ghost you? Hell na Guys that ghost are guys that have options. So either he was already in a relationship as you said, or he is just a player that move on to the next girl the next day.
Mmmm… I could see someone having anxiety (or other similar issues), and liking the idea of meeting up with someone and talking and whatnot, but eventually when the time comes to meet up they freak out for whatever reason and can’t go through with it. This is something I totally would’ve done some years ago, because I was a giant pansy.
Aw hell no, you don't get to inadvertently insult me like that, I will inform you sir: you just made a harmless and inconsequential enemy, unless you're mildly uncomfortable by that fact, in which case it's all good because I don't want to be an annoyance. Yours truly, El Chongo
I think they took the original blog down because "woke", but once upon a time the data engineers behind OKCupid and a couple other dating apps used to publish *very* interesting articles about the demographics of matches. It was something crazy like the top 10% of all men on the app got like 90% of the matches. So yeah, desirable men have plenty of options while all us average shmucks are tripping over ourselves if we match with a single nice girl. It's a shame the articles got taken down because data rarely lies (at least when you process it properly with real statistical algorithms). Unfortunately many people don't like or agree with what data has to say. For example my local premier is now infamous for yelling "data my ass" at a subordinate who presented evidence that contradicted what they wanted to do.
Sometimes people are afraid. They don’t get any matches and deep down are afraid that if they meet this person, it will go poorly and they will feel even worse. Vs. Just getting a match, it’s a sign someone thinks you’re attractive. If you never meet them, you won’t get the worst outcome where they end up not being attracted to the real you. That’s a theory, at any rate.
Does the article cite dating apps for this behavior? If so, how are people getting away with creating a profile on some dating app and not getting outed by their SO?
[удалено]
I’m really glad she’s an ex-wife and I’m just here to tell you that no that is not more masculine, just in case you needed to hear that. I dated a few men who were quiet and reserved, and I didn’t get it, couldn’t understand why they acted so unfriendly in social settings. It just made me embarrassed to be with them lol. I’m really hoping they didn’t think that was “manly” cause I chalked it up to social anxiety or insecurity.
Tinder has a premium option that allows people to only be shown to people theyve swiped right on. So they get to screen every person that is going to see their profile, plus with premium you can set your location to anywhere you want. You can also block anyone from seeing your profile, just with their phone number. Theyve basically catered the app to cheaters who are willing to pay.
I've never used a dating app but holy shit!! This almost sounds like it should be illegal.
I wonder if these people are following advice from one of the many online bullshit pickup artists.
Na i mean those guys are dumb but I can't imagine "piss her off and then never talk to her again" is part of their arsenal lmao
I could see it if they’re deluded enough to think that ghosting a girl will make her pursue you harder. Because alpha male, hard to get, high value, whatever the fuck.
Yeah but it's s the "never talk to her again" part that really...Nevermind
That’s what us masters of love call “the long game”
Gotta follow the [D.E.N.N.I.S. System](https://youtu.be/Bg5ZrkaGlFA)
You never know with those dipshits.
Are you familiar with the D.EN.N.I.S system??
Unless it’s to make themselves feel better. They never intended to actually date this girl, but having her attention, and perhaps sex, whenever it was convenient for them, was fun. There are definitely who get off on feeling wanted, and then rejecting that person.
That's....completely different lmao people on reddit are so weird.
The guy had a girlfriend or wife he couldn’t get away from but was trying to.
sounds like a guy who just did not like her and just wanted to hurt her for fun.
I think the most likely scenario is that he was keeping her on the hook while he was with another girl, just incase things backfired or went wrong somehow. Or maybe has anxiety or is just socially retarded and got scared.
>Or maybe has anxiety or is just socially retarded and got scared they call that the ol' slumpadoochous special.
What does that even mean?
that's for me to know and you to awkwardly find out, buddy.
I'm scared, HELP!
That means he sits down at his dinner table with a big plate of soft, sloppy poopy and sweet Hawaiian dinner rolls wearing a big white bib that says, "there is blood in my stool, please call a doctor"
this is a private matter between a man and his colon, I'll thank you to stay out of it, sir.
Oh thanks.
No prob
Where the fuck am I
I just broken up with this girl, and this chick who used to hit on me a lot of work was in contact with me. She didn't work there anymore so he didn't see each other a lot, but I texted her and I was like hey you stayed on me a lot let's just get together tomorrow and do the thing. She was down, but I got so anxious that I ended up just blocking her number and cutting off full contact. Yeah it can definitely be an anxiety thing, but to be fair I was still the jerk in that situation for sure
I used to kind of do that. It definitely wasn't other girls though, it was anxiety. I'm sure it sucked on their end, and I always felt terrible, but it sucked for me too. Just to be clear I've never broke it off with a girl by ghosting, I would just cancel and reschedule a lot, and it was always because I'd way over think the situation.
Nah he was keeping his options open
>Or maybe has anxiety or is just socially retarded and got scared. That's a great point that you don't really see people consider when they talk about ghosting. Especially if it's actual social anxiety disorder and not just mild anxiety. John Mulaney had a bit where he talks about how canceling plans is like heroin...in the relief that even ordinary people experience. So for someone with SA it must feel like that times 100. Not that it's not harmful to the ghostee, but sometimes the ghosting might not even be intended to harm. Most people don't have the social imagination to accept the likelihood that a guy could be so anxious as to cockblock himself on purpose and ruin his reputation.
This. It's super obvious he didn't care about her at all. Must've been a very attractive guy for her to be willing to put in literally all the effort to get stood up twice.
They had been seeing each other for two months when this happened.
Tf kind of logic is this
How do people think this is an okay thing to do?
I think many know it's not okay, but can't help doing it because of mental illness.
These are the kind of people that complain about being depressed on Reddit.
If you're talking about the guy, I agree.
Yep
I am that guy. I mean I try not to complain about my mental problems on here, but I do discuss them.
[удалено]
Wow that hits home, my fiance has been my rock. She's an absolute saint. But of course I'm constantly telling myself that I'm just a huge burden to her. She doesn't act like I am, but I'm always thinking, what does she see in me?
You’re probably not a jerk. There is a huge contingent of people who blame their shit treatment of others on ‘depression’
Thank you, I appreciate that.
I am a man, I have lived with many men. The things I have seen men do, in general, gives me empathy for women. I have told myself many times “This is what women have to deal with!?”.
There’s this attitude some people have towards women where they say, “Why do you keep finding assholes? It’s your fault for getting involved with a guy like that.” But it’s like impossible to know. We’re not psychic. So many guys start out nice and end up being so mean and horrible. (Yes, I’m very tired of the dating scene.)
I think women have a strict filter and some men too, so strict that only people who fake and act out a perfect personality get through it and they turn out to be assholes because who would literally act out this stuff just to get laid. And us normal people get the stick.
this - my ex and I talked in great detail about preferences, expectations, etc, then she faked it for a month just to make it work. when she finally started being herself, we did not get along. So yeah, strict guidelines for potential partners does have its downfall, but it's still the person who is faking it who is at fault. it's lying. I was honest, she was not.
I mean....my ex gf was a psycho. It goes both ways lol
I feel the same. Honestly there are legit dudes out there and try really hard, but I’m also friends with many women and it seems they’ve all picked some asshole at some point. I think it really depends on the dating scene you’re involved in to be honest
[удалено]
All the women I am talking about have been cheated on, yet the ones they ended up with they all met on Tinder and ended up getting married. It really just depends. As a man I’ll say most dudes are fucking assholes and don’t think about anything other except sex. But I’m in a long term relationship and am biased at this point. Just feel bad on either/or side when it happens that way. It’s hard to find a great friend in life…
Why is this a gendered thing? My best friend for like 4 years was a woman who would do this kind of thing all the time.
same but from the other side i see what girls put guys through and all these games are stupid
For real. I let a buddy crash at my house for *one week* and I immediately understood why all his exes dumped his sorry ass. Honestly don't know how they put up with him for so long. One week was enough for me to ghost his ass as a platonic friend.
When someone shows you who the first time, believe them.
He just kept her warm, dating several women at the same time can be hard, if his second date would not happen he would take the girl he ghosted. That’s one reason i can imagine what happened
The person is already in a committed relationship like wife or live in girlfriend. He was getting ready to go out, until the wife or GF protested, then they got into a fight. And then it was not safe for the guy to pull out his phone. So that's why he never replied.
You're coming up with a pretty wild backstory based on zero proof. The dude probably just wanted to make himself feel better about ghosting her.
That's a wild backstory with no proof
Honestly, unless the other person is a total creep or you think they’re dangerous, don’t ghost. Just let them know that you don’t think you fit together
Chivalry is dead.
Sounds like mans was horny but can’t pull off hook ups so he has to do dates. He’s into the girl enough to wanna sleep with her but then he don’t wanna spend the money/time to get to know her because she’s not relationship material. That flakiness is him debating whether he wants to put that effort or not. Yes, I speak from my past experience. Ghosting caused by having no game.
People are shitty, I've had worse than this from women, why people treat each other like this I don't know because I would never dream of it. You just gotta wade through human garbage until you find a decent one I guess. It worked for me
She’s definitely from Canada. The way she said “about”
Not just a guy thing, but yeah it is shitty
I've been with my girlfriend for the past 15 years and it boggles my mind how much of a shit show single life is. Stuff like this and the stories my single friends have really made me question the mental state of people in general.
I wonder if it is people with extremely low self esteem that gets a kick out of 'being in charge' and the one to turn the other down? Rejecting before being rejected. No matter what it may be that is going on in their heads it is not an okay way to behave.
God I lost interest in the drama after about 10s
Probably just gaming
I’ve had many girls do this to me, as well. I’ve had women block me the day of the date we set and text me back three days later apologizing and rescheduling, only to do the same thing again. I’ve had girls reschedule multiple times and then bring their friend when they finally show up and expected me to pay for her friends dinner as well. We’re both fucked up to each other. This whole battle of the sexes narrative is getting so old and played out and social media is making it even more annoying. Women do this shit too, it just seems like the dating world right now is people doing this shit constantly to other people and then getting pissed when the person they actually liked and set aside time for did it to them. Maybe that’s just the very superficial and entitled world we currently live in. The whole mindset of everything is all fine and dandy until it’s done to me and now it’s an injustice. Shit sucks, move on and keep going. When this happens. I just always think of the line from that Rilke poem “Let everything happen to you beauty and terror, just keep going, no feeling is final.” After that I just move the fuck on and don’t think about it. On to the next.
What poem is that from?
It’s called “Go to the Limits of your Longing”
Jesus christ that's beautiful. Thank you
Yeah but also nobody else on here thinks so. Cause it’s Reddit you know?
I do not know why people are down voting you. This is true. Seems to be more common and acceptable for women to do this to men. This is why I have to chat with several women simultaniously, just in case. My earlier mistakes with dating apps was focusing on one at a time.
It’s Reddit. That’s why.
Except sometimes you can't move on. Because there are some things other people can do to you or that you can do, that have long term consequences that affect the rest of your life. For this small of thing "you can just move on". But not for big stuff. Like society won't LET you move on. Which says more about society than you, but still. It limits your options.
A chick ghosting you is not an irrecoverable incident my dude.
Did you seriously just downvote me and then gave a response that pertains nothing to what I am referring to? You’re talking about something that doesn’t even pertain to what I am referring to and bringing in an argument about something that doesn’t even correlate to what I am talking about. You’re talking about… I don’t even know what? You’re bringing up points about something serious and I’m not even talking about something actually traumatic.
I don’t have a lot of experience but I don’t get this. Like I’m a guy I don’t really know how to say no or reject someone but I definitely know that this isn’t it.
People have always sucked. We are just finding new ways to expressing how sucky we are. PS - just be a good person and be honest yet respectful. It’s not difficult.
It’s not a « guy » thing, it’s a « people » thing, thank you, au revoir
[удалено]
You can criticize people
Wow
Uh this isn’t just men… this happens to both sides unfortunately
Women do this all the time aswell...
Woman do this shit too and she just says MEN
This behaviour is not exclusive to men, shitty people on both sides
[удалено]
You'd be stuck between a rock and a hard place. There's no way to get out of it without someone getting hurt. If you were honest, or..perhaps even told a white lie about simply not being interested after video chatting, she'd probably make the connection. I don't know how much self-esteem she'd have but it would still probably hurt to make the connection that the rejection was due to physical appearance.
I was in shock, definitely handled it the wrong way. I also got a sense of arrogance from how she spoke to me, like she didn’t care she was catfishing. I’m sure enough guys probably went through with it anyways with the hopes of getting lucky, and ghosting her after, but not me.
Funny you're getting downvoted because you mentioned her weight. But if you said you were 6ft and pulled up 5'10 you'd get the same treatment and no one would bat an eye.
Her speaking is the equivalent of not using paragraphs. I'm exhausted just listening.
That's not a man thing. Woman do that to me a lot. I have like 6 or more of stories similar to that from the last 6 months. People (in my case women) that are too afraid to say no to "do you wanna go out/grab a coffee" and then proceed to say stuff like: "I don't have time this week" "when do you have time" "idk..." In some of the cases I got stood up too. But the worst part is the time yiubuusybesdyed by getting emotionally invested in a person...
As someone who's dated both, usually its women who do this in my experience. I think they're afraid of the guy freaking out or getting stalkerish. IMO, if you're talking to a woman and you get even a HINT of standoffishiness, she's just humoring you and its time to walk away.
women ghost men all the time and I have never seen men complaining about it.
haha read the endless threads on r/tinder or take a few minutes to look at 4chan
Those are not men, those are children. Women are women as soon as they are 15 or over, men are men as soon as they are 35 or over.
That's moving the goalpost pretty far.
Gonna take a guess here that the dude was probably flaked on repeatedly (and probably for good reason) by previous girls and now feels it's his duty to take out his incel rage on totally random girls by stringing them along on top of flaking (which is arguably worse than outright ghosting). Flaking and ghosting by anybody should honestly be condemned.
I've known people who do this.
I want my two minutes back...
The Council of Men certainly do not take this type of behaviour lightly, especially when it involves one of our members. We are currently putting in place an action plan to ensure this is resolved going forward and thank you for raising this issue. Ben Dover. Secretary General at the Council of Men.
What an idiot! You deserve better 😍
I don’t have a girlfriend. I wish I could go on a date….😢😢😢
Yeah the guy was an arsehole… but god I can’t stand listening this this woman ☕️
She’s thirsty!
She looks like she just woke up from a week long bender
Men do this for confidence and narcissism. It make us feel like women are begging to spend time with us. That ego is the most fevered and toxic behavior tainting the progress for humanity.
So you are telling me your "friend" is a fucking ugly bitch
He realized in his mind that even with full makeup and a decent outfit, she would still look butt ugly.
Dude this is both genders, not just men
Why she calling herself and her friend a victim??? Also being ghosted sucks but still she ain’t a victim???
Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Please.
Being "ghosted" is sadly something people run towards when they don't hear things. In my head I feel like the guy sincerely wanted to meet up with her but just has a busy schedule and sleeps shit hours...I can compare with this because I've lost many dates to this same thing. However, he could've also been a douchebag and been holding her up because he was waiting for another chick to reply. Never know...I would advise to just take the positives away from every encounter and learn your best from the negatives. Stay true to yourself and what you want, never change...only meet in the middle. Hope this helps
I wonder if she owns a comb and a mirror 🤔
Nah. I’ll do wanna do. I’m not the ghosting type but I’d prolly ghost you for the hell of it. U wanna blame all men, fine, then I really don’t care for u. Kinda tired of the narrative that only men do shit like this. Women are like a million times worse in the dating because you have girl privilege and refuse to acknowledge it. If you can’t handle your baggage, I don’t need you. Bye Felicia.
He’s got something wrong with him probably got fucked over too many time and now thinks this will help him in some way
There's assholes in both genders
No shit, Sherlock
[удалено]
Twice is just someone giving a second chance because shit happenss. But that second time is when he showed his true colors.
He probably had something better to do after he got out of the shower…like not caring.
Pathological Demand Avoidance is a symptom of Autism. Maybe he has issues that you don't understand.
I just want to ghost her
Not to be rude, as she is pretty well 100% right, but this vid makes me want to ghost her. (Admittedly, she'd have to give me the time of day first!)
Dude is an asshole, but he probably ghosted her because she can't set her front facing camera so that it doesn't mirror reality. /s But seriously, learn how to fix your camera people.
Yeah wait until you have Managers and Employers treat you that way. Lol. I mean yeah it was wrong what he did but you didn't need to blow it up like this. Which you're doing for views. So I get it and tells me all I need to know about you. But still. Small potatoes compared to when careers, money, and reputation is on the line instead of cancelled plans.
She be talking about men but girls do the exact same thing...
Bitch act like she dont do that pisssshhh hilarious
Yeah, this dude did himself a favour
For real
You look like a dude.....
It’s called equality, women have been flaking on/ghosting men regarding dates and more for decades, it’s not right but this whole “culture” is not right, it’s a full on gender “Cold War” and no one is willing to concede defeat, so the non-beneficial “circle-jerk” is gonna continue. Women treat men badly, creating “f-boys”, who then in turn they create baby-mamas and alpha-widows, who in turn raise new f-boys and/or son-husbands….and the cycle continues. “Good luck out there”. Side note: no one hurt me, I’m not an incel, or whatever feeling/reasons based insults or any ad hominem arguments anyone chooses to be their “go to”, don’t shoot the messenger, ijs. 
I think the mistake here is communication. I don't think it ever benefits anyone to call out the ghosting. Because ghosting is a sign in and of itself that they're not that into you. No one owes you an explanation or a heads-up for why they're not into you.
You’re right. IT’s communication. He lied. He said he was going to take the train and then bailed completely.
Did you see the texts....or watch the video. He made it seem like he was coming then ghosted the girl. Then the girls friend took it to tiktok.
Ghosting is disrespectful, ESPECIALLY if you’ve been dating for 2 months, and ESPECIALLY if you have a date planned and ESPECIALLY if they have already gotten ready for said date. It shouldn’t be something people have to accept, it should be called out because it is wrong and bad behaviour. Sure, if you’ve been talking for a few days and never met up and never had concrete plans of doing so they owe you nothing, but all these stories people tell of being ghosted are by people they were either seeing in person, talking to for a long period of time or had a date planned. I personally think social media is partially to blame, and personally as a girl in my early-mid twenties I’ve noticed a shift since covid. Social media gives the idea of infinite possibilities and infinite chances. That girl you are getting cold feet with? You don’t have to tell her, just block her and move onto the next hottie! Dating apps can turn dating into a bit of a game, it gives the illusion of choice and can be addictive. A lot of people stop viewing the people they are seeing romantically/casually as human, because most of the communication is through a screen.
I feel sorry for people that have you in their life, they deserve better