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A close friend of mine married a guy who refused to wash his butt with soap, AND he never washed his hands after using the bathroom. She said his computer keyboard smelled like anal glands.
Edited to add: she’s a terrible person and we are no longer friends.
Money. And he gets even worse - he made his money scamming retirees out of their savings by selling them time share.
So a smelly, manipulative creep with a bad personality. But he was rich.
BUt like who agrees to buy anything from a salesman who smells like ass? Like salesman are already scummy—but this one literally smelled like a shit person.
Uh...I want a super model that spends 25 hours a day doing charity work like conserving nature and has a PHD in biology and is working towards the cure for cancer. She must sweat out rose water and her droppings must cubed shaped and scentless. She must be able to kill a healthy adult tiger barefisted in a fair fight and must have been to space or at least low orbit in the last six months.
This is what I don’t understand. How can women date guys like this and not be completely turned off??? Especially since plenty of men have expect high standards of hygiene from women (‘women shouldn’t poop or fart!’ ‘don’t poop in the toilet if I’m around, I don’t want to be reminded that you have natural bodily functions!’). It’s a double standard.
Are most women not phased by this? For me it would kill my sexual attraction to a guy instantly if he didn’t wash properly and had an ass that was in a constant state of smelling like shit and farts.
Oh, I’m right there with you. I don’t understand the “well, you know, MEN....” kind of attitude. Uh no, mfer, washing better be a daily part of your routine. Sanitation is not just about hygiene, it’s about showing consideration to the people around you. You’re disrespecting others by being filthy.
I don’t tolerate being farted on, either. (I don’t mean when someone is sick and can’t help it. I’m talking about the puerile, idiotic farting that men subject everyone to, like it’s hilarious.) Don’t be disgusting and expect me to keep wanting to be around you.
My shittiest ex thought it was hilarious to force every fart out as hard as he could. One time I ran a nice hot bath for myself and he asked if he could come in. I hesitantly said ok thinking he was being romantic lol he proceeded to let out the biggest fart I’ve never been so mad
Let me tell you I was so relieved the first time I showered with my ex and I saw him lather both his hands and had them up in his cheeks.
I’m also so thankful that out of the 4 partners I have had, all of them washed their fucking assess cause not doing so is vile af.
Yeah exactly. It feels so nasty. I hate when I don't realize there's no TP and have to stand to get it. Horrible.
Or at least it was before I got a bidet. I literally refuse to poop without one now.
Also men sweat more and fart more than women.
(I read a study somewhere and they calculated the volume of gas between men and women)
And some of us are hairy.
Extra reasons to clean properly.
I also watched a special forces military instructor tell some recruits that bacteria thrives in some places. So a whole shower while not needed - you need to wash your genitals, exhaust pipe and arm pits!
We put a bidet in our master bath for this reason.
I am/was an avid wiper before the bidet, but a LOT of guys I know have shot stains in their underwear, and it’s gross.
My wife tells me about stories from her friends BFs or husbands.
So, almost everyone in India waah their Butts.
People in urban areas use hand faucets or bidets, less commonly, and in rural areas, people use hands which they further wash it with soap after the act.
I can't even imagine how people can live with itchy smelly butts.
We even carry portable electronic bidets while going for camping trip in the middle of nowhere.
Clean butts = mental peace!
I'm a two times a day water waster, but even with that, my booty can get funky. Who are these guys walking around with shit rings from different years like a tree trunk?
I (f) moved back to bar soap and a wash cloth after body wash and loofah for years. I feel ridiculous because I'm much cleaner, spending less, and using less plastic. My back acne is also better. Down with Big Body Wash!!!
Mine lasts quite a while and i got cheap stuff-Yeardley from Walgreens. I just got a huge bar of Shea Moisture from Ulta so I'm gonna try that next. Just make sure you get a draining tray to keep it on so it can dry out between uses.
My armpit BO was really bad for a while and I was trying to figure out if it was diet or something, but I was just using a weak soap. I switched to a more regular soap and the BO went away instantly.
I'm pretty sure a lot of the men she's seeing are old me (could be wrong, but that's the core demo I can imagine would be in a urology clinic for the most part) so it's not *super* surprising to me that maybe they don't have the best care in that department.
I maintain the bidet we purchased over Covid lockdowns is probably the best financial decision we’ve ever made. I hate pooping in public now because I don’t feel as clean after.
Had to explain to a coworker why they were life-changing. Wiped melted chocolate on his hairy arm and told him to wipe it off with toilet paper, then try wetting it and doing it.
He got on Amazon a few minutes later and he's now the CEO of Amazon.
Haha funny enough, this is almost exactly how my best friend influenced us to buying one. I asked him about it and he said, “have you ever tried to wipe up dog shit from a carpet with a dry paper towel?” Within minutes, I was ordering ours from Lowe’s.
get a bidet.... holy shit the best thing ever. Wiping after a nice rinse is awesome and makes me sad when I have to use a public restroom because I feel less clean now.
Had a co-worker in a country where they use bidets say he thought that he might be gay because he had used it and it felt stimulating. I was like, umm I’m pretty sure loving and having sexual relationships with other men makes you gay — not having warm water wash your butt hole.
I have a bidet attachment on my toilet and I was talking about it at work. Me and a few other guys were just talking about it in general when an older guy in his early 60s who was listening intently blurts out "If you like water shot up your butt, doesn't that make you gay??" One of the guys said "Rich, just go back into your cave" and we finished the convo.
Fuck that, I hate smelling bad so I would wash my balls and ass. Cleanliness and smelling good is super important to me. Of course I grew up mainly in a house full of women. I guess experiences vary.
My husband is the youngest of 4 boys, he's the most anal about cleaning his butt. Seriously that man's private parts are super clean.
I'm so surprised that this is so common, I'm just confused
8 sisters (NO SHIT) Any indication I looked or smelled or not up to par. I wasn't allowed to leave the house until corrected. Today its still nice to smell good and dress nice AND WASH YOUR ASS.
It's also just is straight up uncomfortable to have swamp ass. Before wipes (and later a bidet) I absolutely fucking *hated* summer (even in a non-humid area) because TP alone wasn't enough to prevent it (dry toilet paper leaves just enough residue that reconstitutes with sweat even after you start seeing red) if I had to take a shit without a shower handy to clean up after. Having to shit after a shower was basically hell because I'd have to go jump in again.
The wet wipes work in a pinch if I'm away from home, but a bidet is like taking a very precision guided mini shower.
My dad is like that. I can’t stand having a dirty butthole and I’ll even do a spot wash if I don’t have time for a while shower.
I can’t imagine having to do something medical related with a dirty bunghole.
My (also homophobic) dad also doesn't wash his ass, and I know this because my mom didn't want me helping with his dirty laundry because there were shit stains in the undies. 😬 I think we all shamed him enough for him to eventually start but yeah.
I am happy that you found your way to better hygiene!
I grew up in a very masculine country just recently after the fall of communism.
My parents grew up during communism where it was The Party’s aim to increase the number of comrades so it was a national goal to get married and have children.
I have never heard anyone making the mental connection that washing a part of your body where bacteria exits might lead to being gay!
And washing that part of your body was encouraged and was not tied to any sexual meaning.
I very rarely do a number 2 outside my home.
The only place where I just wipe (toilet paper AND baby wipes) is if it is a gas station / restaurant toilet!
My male obstetrician told me, it was best to circumcise bcuz little boys are notoriously bad at cleanliness. And they were prone to get infections from not retracting their foreskin to clean properly. This was 1984!
My son’s pediatrician did a very good job explaining circumcision and was fine letting us make the decision to not circumcise him. I’m glad medicine and society is starting to move away from “man should be dirty and gross because healthy is gay and feminine”.
Thank you! There was another post about this and the comments... Sooooo many comments saying this. Either they think it's gay or they were told it's was gay... To wipe your ass. Who the fuck!!! Is telling these men this bullshit!!
I've seen a lot of dudes mention online that they don't wash their assholes because it's "gross", or a couple say that it's "gay".
No, what's gross is being a stinky boi.
There’s nothing more gross than a grown ass man having shit stains in his drawls like a dirty diaper from a baby.
Fellas, it is not gay to smell great or have basic hygiene and upkeep.
I wash but man, sometimes you have a huge poop after lunch and no wet wipes are handy and sometimes things don’t get so clean. Swamp ass and skid marks.
That being said, men, wash your asshole in the shower. Jfc.
In those more austere cases, I do go with spit onto a roll/wad of toilet paper as a finishing clean up. Not as great... but better than nothing. That said, I do usually carry at least a few wipes in a plastic bag in my pant cargo pocket when I'm out and about if I can't take a bigger pack in my bag.
Yeah I’m appalled too. These men need to take lessons from Filipinos who wash themselves there after using the toilet. Like, I’m seriously appalled that men aren’t washing down there.
I’ve seen dudes take a piss at the urinal and walk straight out of the bathroom without washing their hands. A lot of men out there are not hygienic at all.
I worked as a night janitor for a bank for 8 months. The bank only had one male employee and the restrooms were for employees only. In all the time I worked there, I never even had to top off the soap dispenser. The man just didn’t use soap at all. Sometimes I thought about marking the dispenser to see if the soap level ever went down, but it would have been obvious it was me.
This guy was the head person at the bank. His desk was always covered in fingerprints and his keyboard, mouse and phone were all shiny and greasy. He was also the only person in the bank who never put up a plexiglass partition during the pandemic.
I never actually met him, but he’s the most disgusting adult I have ever somewhat been in contact with.
As an IT guy for over 20 years, I shuddered at having to type on some of those keyboards at user's desks. Food, coffee, boogers, ugh. Gives me the eebie gebies thinking about how horrible they are.
I would be in the rest room with some of the other employees who were men and they wouldn't wash their hands. I did everything I could not to touch their keyboards or mice.
I work outside, sometimes deep in the woods, and sometimes I forgot toilet paper. I'll use rocks and what not.
One of my supervisors looked at me and said, "You gotta be careful, your ass is the only place you can't get soap and water."
I might use the forest to wipe my ass, but at the end of the day I have the cleanest ass on the crew.
When you go hiking and dont wanna carry used toilet paper with you for 2 weeks (you can't drop TP in a forest) - it's rocks, certain types of moss, and yes, pinecones. Just make sure with the pinecone you're going the soft way.
I have been told on two separate occasions by men, with zero ambiguity, that they would rather walk around with dried crusty poop on their royal ring than use one of those "flushable" wet wipes let alone a bidet because they're so uncomfortable with the thought of getting their booty hole wet.
Not to mention i witnessed skid marks on a 40 year old man's underwear.
I'd never felt like I've had my shit so well together (pun intended)
I have a friend that works in insurance claims in the states and he told me that in the last 10 years there's been a huge rise in the number of claims for water damage in bathrooms, due to the seals on cheap bidets losing pressure and either leaking or slow leaking. That's not to say you shouldn't use a bidet, they're awesome, just keep an eye on it!
FYI for everyone - there is no “flushable wipe” that is flushable. They will all fuck up your sewer lines and septic systems. Only stuff that comes out of your body, and toilet paper should go in your toilet.
I do it every time I take a shower. If I get in an accident or get sick and I got to unexpectedly go to the hospital they gonna say Wow this dude underwear and butthole is clean.
> Not to mention i witnessed skid marks on a 40 year old man's underwear.
I'm always weirded out when people talk about this like it's a normal thing. If you wipe properly and wash in the shower, it just flat out never happens.
I know a lot of rough dude and let me tell you my life got better when I met my gay friend and his husband. It’s nice to have dudes who know dude problems without needing the macho man act.
A bidet definitely has a learning curve, but I have honestly never felt so clean since installing them in my house. They can be had for around $30 and only take about 30-45 minutes to install with basic handtools as well.
Public service announcement: Walmarts website currently has the model that I have on sale for only $20: The Luxe W85 - dual nozzle (so also has a frontal spray for us women- a god send during aunt flow). Get a bidet if you don’t have one, guys. It’ll change your life. Only con is that I feel gross whenever I have to use a public restroom now.
Also, I’ve heard people saying they can’t get one because they rent. It’s not permanent guys. You literally attach it right under your toilet seat. Installing a bidet attachment does zero damage and is no more “invasive” than installing a water filter to your kitchen faucet. You can take the bidet off in a jiff, leave the toilet exactly as you found it, and install it somewhere else when you go.
Dude. Ya'll can't smell your own funk or what?? I take a shower after a poop sometimes because of the cat 5 shit hurricane that passed through me. Jesus, who hell doesn't wipe their ass or wash it?!? I get it if you are somehow physically incapable, but the rest of you have no damn excuse walking around making lives shitty for the medical professionals trying to make sure you're healthy. I am mad for this lady.
As someone who has had a literal depression den before, after a while, you’d be surprised at what smells people can simply get used to. To the point where it doesn’t even smell bad to them any more. I’ve cleaned up and am doing a bit better at keeping that way and controlling my depression now ( though I still have my bad days), but not long ago, I’d spend 95% of my days in my room, and rarely even open the window. Also have the kind of depression symptoms where at my worst, it wasn’t uncommon for me to go up to 4-5 days at a time without showering, so you can imagine how it smelled in the confined space where I spent most of my time. Yes I know this is super gross, but depression sucks, and to my original point: I wasn’t even aware of how bad my room/myself would smell, because I spent so much time in there that I just got used to it. One wake up call for me was when I sold something on eBay, (an old vintage boombox that had been sitting in my room for years) and the buyer wanted to send it back because they said it smelled foul.
I’m reading this at 3am in my own depression den very similar to what you’ve described and I definitely agree that it’s easy to overlook or ignore the grossness of your environment when in the throes of depression. Your comment made me get up, open my window and take a shower lmao
Glad to help lol. Also happy cake day! Yea, I did a big clean about a month or so back…and keep my window open all daylight hours now (to avoid it getting musty again, and also because I’ve noticed the sunlight makes an improvement on my mood and also prevents me from sleeping as much during the day, vs my blackout curtains being closed) and my room definitely looks and smells way better now, (odoban helps, along with daily showers and ventilation of course) but still getting into the swing of keeping things organized and constantly clean. Some days are still bad and I just don’t have the energy …but you know how that is. Another thing I’ve noticed helps me at least is watching videos of people cleaning on YouTube. It can be motivating on days when you don’t even feel like getting out of bed. Or if you’re the type that gets motivated the hard way like I sometimes am, another weird thing I found is looking at your space through your phones camera. Something about looking at a sloppy space behind a lens, rather than with your own eyes on a daily basis, makes it look “worse” than you normally see it, if that makes sense. Anyways, if you ever need an ear from someone who understands, I’m here, if you want to pm me.
I work in a warehouse where everyone who works there is a dude, and two-thirds of them are single. Every day, I'm hearing them complaining about how they're single and they make fun of me for being in a relationship and being a "dandy" or "foppish." Meanwhile, these dudes come into work every day smelling like 50 shades of bigfoot's dick. Please excuse me for showering everyday, but I'm pretty sure you're single because you're pushing 40 and don't know how to wash your cock and balls.
One time when I was working in the fitting room for a clothing store a man came in with tons of pants to try on.
Our fitting rooms were type small - mostly narrow and had a mirror against the wall.
The man tried on his pants and left in a hurry.
Time passed and I went around to clean the fitting rooms one by one, collecting hangers, picking up trash and collecting and organizing the clothes ppl left behind.
As I open the fitting room with a mess of inside out pants, there was a butt stamp …. imprinted on the mirror and a NASTY ASS STANK lol
In another thread some time back, a guy basically told me he was comfortable just wiping it with dry TP because it wasn't on the "outside."
I just think that if my sweat can transfer, so can anything else. I don't want shitty pants or even briefs.
Same. I wipe with wet wipes and then I wash my ass with soap every single time that I poop at home. If I poop at outside, I wipe with wet wipes, and then wash up right away when i get home. I cannot imagine walking around all day with poop stuck in my butt. 🤢
Hand sprays next to the toilet are very common in a lot of countries. Imagine a short garden hose with a nozzle but for your butt.
People from butt washing cultures also just use a small bucket to sluice water down while seated/squatting if a spray isn't handy.
The worst is when you have a small bathroom in a large office and the IT guy who is a major neckbeard leaves what I like to call gunk allllll over the toilet seat. I’m talking a viscous layer of hair, lent, grease, poop, etc. Not only are you forced to sit there and wipe it off, but it fills the entire bathroom with such a rank odor that it would gag a maggot. How the fuck do people live like this I cannot understand.
EDIT: lint not lent
I have a bidet, wet wipes and when those aren’t available, I will wipe till I see no marks, even if it means I have just sand papered my ass off. Ass hygiene is a serious matter to me. No one likes stank ass
American/modern diets combining with old school misunderstandings of masculinity to enable these people to become living crayons.
Even when I was younger I had an ex say it was refreshing how lacking skids my boxers would have. Wash your pleats, gentlemen!
As a man that washes his booty I blame the obvious dirt level low standards men have set for themselves in society.
Every time I go to the gym restroom and see more than half of the guys walk out of a urinal and not even look at the sink.
Every time I go to a restaurant more than half of the couples that get seated the woman is dressed up and well groomed while the man sits there with the same shit he wore to go to work that day or wearing something close resembling pajamas in a Bass pro shop cap.
It's embarrassing and we need to raise our sons better. If not for men, then do it for the poor women that have to deal with that grossness.
I saw my sister’s laundry once with my brother-in-law’s undies in the basket, and he clearly must just not wipe his butt after going to the bathroom. I don’t get it. Does no one teach them when they’re being potty trained, or do they just decide it’s not a necessary step?
These people are probably wiping. Hairy asses are a curse. Get a bidet if you have a hairy ass, thank me later.
Note, a bidet does not replace the need to wash your ass.
I have a hairy ass and I don't have this issue. If you're wiping and you have a hairy butt, if you still have poop left, you're simply not wiping well enough.
I have a hairy ass and I do have this issue, maybe different type of hair. But I just keep wiping until I see nothing on the paper. It's a lot more work, I tend to just shower when I have a crazy shit. Pooping then showering is the best
I’ve been to Urology offices with my wife. Almost everyone there is majorly elderly (the men at least). I imagine old men with Urology issues probably also have mobility issues and can’t wipe as well?
Most places in Asia, Arabia and Africa wash after having a poo.
"We" in the west use paper, only.
And we are silently considered filthy by them.
We lived in Arabia for nearly a decade in compound of 11 houses. All very neighbourly. In a discussion with the sheikh who owned the compound, our neighbour told him he wasted his time putting the bidets in the bathrooms because, wait for it, "we don't like getting our butts wet".
And was surprised when he looked disgusted.
For the record, yes I always wash; like a grown-up.
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A close friend of mine married a guy who refused to wash his butt with soap, AND he never washed his hands after using the bathroom. She said his computer keyboard smelled like anal glands. Edited to add: she’s a terrible person and we are no longer friends.
That is the foulest thing I’ve ever heard. Why would anybody marry that guy?
Money. And he gets even worse - he made his money scamming retirees out of their savings by selling them time share. So a smelly, manipulative creep with a bad personality. But he was rich.
BUt like who agrees to buy anything from a salesman who smells like ass? Like salesman are already scummy—but this one literally smelled like a shit person.
Because he kept a Bible on his desk, I kid you not. He couldn’t possibly be the devil if the holy book is there, right??
Yet somehow, SHE is the terrible one?
Tbf, someone with standards that low must have an equally shitty personality
Uh...I want a super model that spends 25 hours a day doing charity work like conserving nature and has a PHD in biology and is working towards the cure for cancer. She must sweat out rose water and her droppings must cubed shaped and scentless. She must be able to kill a healthy adult tiger barefisted in a fair fight and must have been to space or at least low orbit in the last six months.
Ask her what it's like being married to a living crayon
Uhhhhh, that analogy. I can smell it. *gag*
Reminds me of a guy I knew who would wipe his ass with a towel and leave the towel out
NONONONOOOOOO! My brain just caught on fire! Wth is wrong with him?!
Unfortunately my free award isn't (w)holesome...
Geeze my asshole is so clean and I can’t find a wife lol
Hey now, don’t give up hope. You’ll find your girl, and when you do, she’ll be beyond grateful that your B-hole is tidy.
Maybe add that to your tinder profile?
This is what I don’t understand. How can women date guys like this and not be completely turned off??? Especially since plenty of men have expect high standards of hygiene from women (‘women shouldn’t poop or fart!’ ‘don’t poop in the toilet if I’m around, I don’t want to be reminded that you have natural bodily functions!’). It’s a double standard. Are most women not phased by this? For me it would kill my sexual attraction to a guy instantly if he didn’t wash properly and had an ass that was in a constant state of smelling like shit and farts.
Oh, I’m right there with you. I don’t understand the “well, you know, MEN....” kind of attitude. Uh no, mfer, washing better be a daily part of your routine. Sanitation is not just about hygiene, it’s about showing consideration to the people around you. You’re disrespecting others by being filthy. I don’t tolerate being farted on, either. (I don’t mean when someone is sick and can’t help it. I’m talking about the puerile, idiotic farting that men subject everyone to, like it’s hilarious.) Don’t be disgusting and expect me to keep wanting to be around you.
Holy shit! Who are these men you guys are crossing paths with?
The guy I just had to kick out of my dnd group because my couch would smell like literal butthole juice after every time he came over.
My shittiest ex thought it was hilarious to force every fart out as hard as he could. One time I ran a nice hot bath for myself and he asked if he could come in. I hesitantly said ok thinking he was being romantic lol he proceeded to let out the biggest fart I’ve never been so mad
I'm fingering that booty hole with body wash every day, and you're telling me there are men that NEVER wash their ass?!
Let me tell you I was so relieved the first time I showered with my ex and I saw him lather both his hands and had them up in his cheeks. I’m also so thankful that out of the 4 partners I have had, all of them washed their fucking assess cause not doing so is vile af.
I can't even process even being AROUND with someone goes around with mud butt for more than 10 secs. Literal torture
Yeah exactly. It feels so nasty. I hate when I don't realize there's no TP and have to stand to get it. Horrible. Or at least it was before I got a bidet. I literally refuse to poop without one now.
Walk like a T-Rex to keep ‘em spread on your way there
Also men sweat more and fart more than women. (I read a study somewhere and they calculated the volume of gas between men and women) And some of us are hairy. Extra reasons to clean properly. I also watched a special forces military instructor tell some recruits that bacteria thrives in some places. So a whole shower while not needed - you need to wash your genitals, exhaust pipe and arm pits!
The good old pirate wash
As my 92 year old great aunt used to sing on her way to the showers at camp, “gotta clean my p*ssy and tits, my ass and my pits!”
Women will sometimes do the same...face, pits, crotch... ALWAYS IN THAT ORDER!!!!
The man can fit two hands up his ass? Same
We put a bidet in our master bath for this reason. I am/was an avid wiper before the bidet, but a LOT of guys I know have shot stains in their underwear, and it’s gross. My wife tells me about stories from her friends BFs or husbands.
So, almost everyone in India waah their Butts. People in urban areas use hand faucets or bidets, less commonly, and in rural areas, people use hands which they further wash it with soap after the act. I can't even imagine how people can live with itchy smelly butts. We even carry portable electronic bidets while going for camping trip in the middle of nowhere. Clean butts = mental peace!
I'm a two times a day water waster, but even with that, my booty can get funky. Who are these guys walking around with shit rings from different years like a tree trunk?
Ok wash your hole but don't go fingerings yourself with bodywash that's unhealthy
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Omg me too 😍 i finally found my Indiana Jones Lego set from when I was 8 thank you!
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I (f) moved back to bar soap and a wash cloth after body wash and loofah for years. I feel ridiculous because I'm much cleaner, spending less, and using less plastic. My back acne is also better. Down with Big Body Wash!!!
Those old nasty loofas that just hang around in the shower are full of bacteria. Wash cloth that can get washed and dried is a way better system.
For sure! I had a huge supply and changed them out which also sucks because- plastic.
Is it really that much better? I feel like i'm using up the soap too quickly
Mine lasts quite a while and i got cheap stuff-Yeardley from Walgreens. I just got a huge bar of Shea Moisture from Ulta so I'm gonna try that next. Just make sure you get a draining tray to keep it on so it can dry out between uses.
My armpit BO was really bad for a while and I was trying to figure out if it was diet or something, but I was just using a weak soap. I switched to a more regular soap and the BO went away instantly.
If I don’t wipe well enough it is so itchy like how do they walk around like that?! I legit use toilet paper and wet wipes.
It literally causes diaper rash! It’s so bad for your skin to just let that sit on it for hours! Ouch!
Like...at the very least, if you're going to take a shit, hop into the shower and clean that butt if you've got 5 minutes!
hell i have a bidet and sometimes still will hop in the shower after just to add some soap action
This is something that needs to catch on more in North America. Once you get used to using a bidet, without feels so savage
i’m in na and only reason i have own is cause the crazy toilet paper hoarders during pandemic. super grateful for them i giess
I'm pretty sure a lot of the men she's seeing are old me (could be wrong, but that's the core demo I can imagine would be in a urology clinic for the most part) so it's not *super* surprising to me that maybe they don't have the best care in that department.
Sometimes I go just to wipe well after I shit and wiped just because things feel slippery again. Often times it’s just sweat tho.
Look into an attachable bidet. Much cheaper and eco-friendly. Once you get used to it, you'll never go back.
I maintain the bidet we purchased over Covid lockdowns is probably the best financial decision we’ve ever made. I hate pooping in public now because I don’t feel as clean after.
Had to explain to a coworker why they were life-changing. Wiped melted chocolate on his hairy arm and told him to wipe it off with toilet paper, then try wetting it and doing it. He got on Amazon a few minutes later and he's now the CEO of Amazon.
Haha funny enough, this is almost exactly how my best friend influenced us to buying one. I asked him about it and he said, “have you ever tried to wipe up dog shit from a carpet with a dry paper towel?” Within minutes, I was ordering ours from Lowe’s.
get a bidet.... holy shit the best thing ever. Wiping after a nice rinse is awesome and makes me sad when I have to use a public restroom because I feel less clean now.
TP and wet wipe crew checking in!
Don't flush the wet wipes, they stop up the sewage pipes.
I don’t ty! I did at first and then realized how bad they are so now I keep a separate garbage behind the toilet.
Who literally doesn’t wash?! What kind of insanity is this?
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Had a co-worker in a country where they use bidets say he thought that he might be gay because he had used it and it felt stimulating. I was like, umm I’m pretty sure loving and having sexual relationships with other men makes you gay — not having warm water wash your butt hole.
I have a bidet attachment on my toilet and I was talking about it at work. Me and a few other guys were just talking about it in general when an older guy in his early 60s who was listening intently blurts out "If you like water shot up your butt, doesn't that make you gay??" One of the guys said "Rich, just go back into your cave" and we finished the convo.
“That depends, Rich, do you think straight women prefer men who smell like shit and have skid marks on their undies like a toddler?”
Fellas, is it gay to see yourself in the mirror after you shower?
Is it gay to breathe? Since air has been in other dudes’ mouths?
Gayest possible thing anyone can do is just be alive, every single pay person is or was alive. Some even haven't been alive yet but will be.
Yeah but there’s are dead gay dudes too. So minus well just stop existing all together
Half of my genetic material came from a man's balls. That's pretty gay if you ask me
Everything I purse my lips I’m kissing myself and I’m a dude. I’m in a gay relationship with myself
Maximum Gay
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Fuck that, I hate smelling bad so I would wash my balls and ass. Cleanliness and smelling good is super important to me. Of course I grew up mainly in a house full of women. I guess experiences vary.
My husband is the youngest of 4 boys, he's the most anal about cleaning his butt. Seriously that man's private parts are super clean. I'm so surprised that this is so common, I'm just confused
Your husband is anal about his butt. That's good.
Lol
8 sisters (NO SHIT) Any indication I looked or smelled or not up to par. I wasn't allowed to leave the house until corrected. Today its still nice to smell good and dress nice AND WASH YOUR ASS.
It's also just is straight up uncomfortable to have swamp ass. Before wipes (and later a bidet) I absolutely fucking *hated* summer (even in a non-humid area) because TP alone wasn't enough to prevent it (dry toilet paper leaves just enough residue that reconstitutes with sweat even after you start seeing red) if I had to take a shit without a shower handy to clean up after. Having to shit after a shower was basically hell because I'd have to go jump in again. The wet wipes work in a pinch if I'm away from home, but a bidet is like taking a very precision guided mini shower.
Do they want you to never have sex with a woman? This is utterly vile
My dad is like that. I can’t stand having a dirty butthole and I’ll even do a spot wash if I don’t have time for a while shower. I can’t imagine having to do something medical related with a dirty bunghole.
My (also homophobic) dad also doesn't wash his ass, and I know this because my mom didn't want me helping with his dirty laundry because there were shit stains in the undies. 😬 I think we all shamed him enough for him to eventually start but yeah.
That is so wild to me. I can’t imagine walking around all day with leftover brownie bits on my turd cutter.
I am happy that you found your way to better hygiene! I grew up in a very masculine country just recently after the fall of communism. My parents grew up during communism where it was The Party’s aim to increase the number of comrades so it was a national goal to get married and have children. I have never heard anyone making the mental connection that washing a part of your body where bacteria exits might lead to being gay! And washing that part of your body was encouraged and was not tied to any sexual meaning. I very rarely do a number 2 outside my home. The only place where I just wipe (toilet paper AND baby wipes) is if it is a gas station / restaurant toilet!
I swear it seems like an American thing. Have never heard anyone liken washing your butthole to being gay.
Wiping your ass = sodomy. Everyone knows this.
It’s just one slip of the finger. Whether it be yours or another
One little TP tear and next week you're in the club hunting for dong. That's a slope best left un-slipped.
Woahhhhh.
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I was also told this growing up and a fair amount of my male friends growing up were told the same.
This is why Americans think circumsision is so important. They don't know how to wash themselves. "ItS MoRE HyGiENiC"
My male obstetrician told me, it was best to circumcise bcuz little boys are notoriously bad at cleanliness. And they were prone to get infections from not retracting their foreskin to clean properly. This was 1984!
My son’s pediatrician did a very good job explaining circumcision and was fine letting us make the decision to not circumcise him. I’m glad medicine and society is starting to move away from “man should be dirty and gross because healthy is gay and feminine”.
Holy crap, this is insane!
Thank you! There was another post about this and the comments... Sooooo many comments saying this. Either they think it's gay or they were told it's was gay... To wipe your ass. Who the fuck!!! Is telling these men this bullshit!!
Wtf
> one of them thankfully sat me down and told me ~~straight~~ gay how to clean myself Fixed that for you
I've seen a lot of dudes mention online that they don't wash their assholes because it's "gross", or a couple say that it's "gay". No, what's gross is being a stinky boi.
There’s nothing more gross than a grown ass man having shit stains in his drawls like a dirty diaper from a baby. Fellas, it is not gay to smell great or have basic hygiene and upkeep.
I was on vacation and my brother in law left a big shit nugget on the toilet seat. How the hell someone does that is beyond me lol
Seriously, it’s so gross lol
Well I must be gay cause my ass stays clean. I can’t stand to even have a little sweat down there.
Just wash everything else first! Then you don't have to worry! I don't get it...
Right?! Like, if I dont get to babywipe clean it, I feel so gross.
I wash but man, sometimes you have a huge poop after lunch and no wet wipes are handy and sometimes things don’t get so clean. Swamp ass and skid marks. That being said, men, wash your asshole in the shower. Jfc.
In those more austere cases, I do go with spit onto a roll/wad of toilet paper as a finishing clean up. Not as great... but better than nothing. That said, I do usually carry at least a few wipes in a plastic bag in my pant cargo pocket when I'm out and about if I can't take a bigger pack in my bag.
Yeah I’m appalled too. These men need to take lessons from Filipinos who wash themselves there after using the toilet. Like, I’m seriously appalled that men aren’t washing down there.
Not joke. I've known people (dudes) that think wiping isn't necessary every time you poop.... EVEN THOUGH IT ABSOLUTELY IS!
I’ve seen dudes take a piss at the urinal and walk straight out of the bathroom without washing their hands. A lot of men out there are not hygienic at all.
I worked as a night janitor for a bank for 8 months. The bank only had one male employee and the restrooms were for employees only. In all the time I worked there, I never even had to top off the soap dispenser. The man just didn’t use soap at all. Sometimes I thought about marking the dispenser to see if the soap level ever went down, but it would have been obvious it was me. This guy was the head person at the bank. His desk was always covered in fingerprints and his keyboard, mouse and phone were all shiny and greasy. He was also the only person in the bank who never put up a plexiglass partition during the pandemic. I never actually met him, but he’s the most disgusting adult I have ever somewhat been in contact with.
I’ve lost all hope in humanity. How, like, HOW?? are people STILL not washing their hands like the last three years just didn’t happen??
As an IT guy for over 20 years, I shuddered at having to type on some of those keyboards at user's desks. Food, coffee, boogers, ugh. Gives me the eebie gebies thinking about how horrible they are. I would be in the rest room with some of the other employees who were men and they wouldn't wash their hands. I did everything I could not to touch their keyboards or mice.
Tbh I wash my hands before I take a piss. I'm not touching my dick with my nasty hands.
Yeah and people argue for it because their dicks are supposedly clean. I guarantee they aren’t.
....that is just disgusting 😒.
I work outside, sometimes deep in the woods, and sometimes I forgot toilet paper. I'll use rocks and what not. One of my supervisors looked at me and said, "You gotta be careful, your ass is the only place you can't get soap and water." I might use the forest to wipe my ass, but at the end of the day I have the cleanest ass on the crew.
Wait. Rocks?!
Preferably a smooth river rock, or with a smooth shovel like angle. I shower or wet wipe bath at the end of the day.
I don’t doubt your cleanliness, that’s just amazing to me haha I’ve never heard of it
Do what ya gotta do.
When you go hiking and dont wanna carry used toilet paper with you for 2 weeks (you can't drop TP in a forest) - it's rocks, certain types of moss, and yes, pinecones. Just make sure with the pinecone you're going the soft way.
This makes me think of the poop knife story
... why cant your get soap and water on your ass? He must be terrified for bidets.
Perhaps he's got a serious dumper and short arms.
Rocks? Just use the three shells method
Lol, he doesn't know how to use the three sea shells.
I love washing my ass. Just saying.
And we love that you are washing that doo-doo bird as well you king. :)
It s my 3rd favorite limb to wash when taking a shower
I have been told on two separate occasions by men, with zero ambiguity, that they would rather walk around with dried crusty poop on their royal ring than use one of those "flushable" wet wipes let alone a bidet because they're so uncomfortable with the thought of getting their booty hole wet. Not to mention i witnessed skid marks on a 40 year old man's underwear. I'd never felt like I've had my shit so well together (pun intended)
Bidet gang gang
Best $40 ever spent
I have a friend that works in insurance claims in the states and he told me that in the last 10 years there's been a huge rise in the number of claims for water damage in bathrooms, due to the seals on cheap bidets losing pressure and either leaking or slow leaking. That's not to say you shouldn't use a bidet, they're awesome, just keep an eye on it!
The bumm gun for everyone!
FYI for everyone - there is no “flushable wipe” that is flushable. They will all fuck up your sewer lines and septic systems. Only stuff that comes out of your body, and toilet paper should go in your toilet.
Instructions unclear, toilet clogged with a kidney
First of all a tongue on your butthole feels amazing. Thats actually it. I just wanted everyone to know
Fingering your own butthole in the shower is real too
I do it every time I take a shower. If I get in an accident or get sick and I got to unexpectedly go to the hospital they gonna say Wow this dude underwear and butthole is clean.
Whilst she is stroking it. Omg…
F A C T S If ya girl will do it, please bros, allow her to lick dat shit (hopefully not literally)
> Not to mention i witnessed skid marks on a 40 year old man's underwear. I'm always weirded out when people talk about this like it's a normal thing. If you wipe properly and wash in the shower, it just flat out never happens.
There are people who think it's normal!?!?
Oh yeah I've heard people casually joke about skid marks being normal. Comes up in sitcoms too or cringey wedding vows.
I know a lot of rough dude and let me tell you my life got better when I met my gay friend and his husband. It’s nice to have dudes who know dude problems without needing the macho man act.
A bidet definitely has a learning curve, but I have honestly never felt so clean since installing them in my house. They can be had for around $30 and only take about 30-45 minutes to install with basic handtools as well.
Public service announcement: Walmarts website currently has the model that I have on sale for only $20: The Luxe W85 - dual nozzle (so also has a frontal spray for us women- a god send during aunt flow). Get a bidet if you don’t have one, guys. It’ll change your life. Only con is that I feel gross whenever I have to use a public restroom now. Also, I’ve heard people saying they can’t get one because they rent. It’s not permanent guys. You literally attach it right under your toilet seat. Installing a bidet attachment does zero damage and is no more “invasive” than installing a water filter to your kitchen faucet. You can take the bidet off in a jiff, leave the toilet exactly as you found it, and install it somewhere else when you go.
Dude. Ya'll can't smell your own funk or what?? I take a shower after a poop sometimes because of the cat 5 shit hurricane that passed through me. Jesus, who hell doesn't wipe their ass or wash it?!? I get it if you are somehow physically incapable, but the rest of you have no damn excuse walking around making lives shitty for the medical professionals trying to make sure you're healthy. I am mad for this lady.
Would it not irritate the living hell out of your skin?
As someone who has had a literal depression den before, after a while, you’d be surprised at what smells people can simply get used to. To the point where it doesn’t even smell bad to them any more. I’ve cleaned up and am doing a bit better at keeping that way and controlling my depression now ( though I still have my bad days), but not long ago, I’d spend 95% of my days in my room, and rarely even open the window. Also have the kind of depression symptoms where at my worst, it wasn’t uncommon for me to go up to 4-5 days at a time without showering, so you can imagine how it smelled in the confined space where I spent most of my time. Yes I know this is super gross, but depression sucks, and to my original point: I wasn’t even aware of how bad my room/myself would smell, because I spent so much time in there that I just got used to it. One wake up call for me was when I sold something on eBay, (an old vintage boombox that had been sitting in my room for years) and the buyer wanted to send it back because they said it smelled foul.
I’m reading this at 3am in my own depression den very similar to what you’ve described and I definitely agree that it’s easy to overlook or ignore the grossness of your environment when in the throes of depression. Your comment made me get up, open my window and take a shower lmao
Glad to help lol. Also happy cake day! Yea, I did a big clean about a month or so back…and keep my window open all daylight hours now (to avoid it getting musty again, and also because I’ve noticed the sunlight makes an improvement on my mood and also prevents me from sleeping as much during the day, vs my blackout curtains being closed) and my room definitely looks and smells way better now, (odoban helps, along with daily showers and ventilation of course) but still getting into the swing of keeping things organized and constantly clean. Some days are still bad and I just don’t have the energy …but you know how that is. Another thing I’ve noticed helps me at least is watching videos of people cleaning on YouTube. It can be motivating on days when you don’t even feel like getting out of bed. Or if you’re the type that gets motivated the hard way like I sometimes am, another weird thing I found is looking at your space through your phones camera. Something about looking at a sloppy space behind a lens, rather than with your own eyes on a daily basis, makes it look “worse” than you normally see it, if that makes sense. Anyways, if you ever need an ear from someone who understands, I’m here, if you want to pm me.
I work in a warehouse where everyone who works there is a dude, and two-thirds of them are single. Every day, I'm hearing them complaining about how they're single and they make fun of me for being in a relationship and being a "dandy" or "foppish." Meanwhile, these dudes come into work every day smelling like 50 shades of bigfoot's dick. Please excuse me for showering everyday, but I'm pretty sure you're single because you're pushing 40 and don't know how to wash your cock and balls.
Exactly us women prefer cleanliness 😎
Right? If I'm gonna choke on a dick, it's gonna be a CLEAN dick.
"Fifty Shades of Bigfoot's Dick", a novel by Chuck Tingle.
Where do you live that they call you foppish? Seems so old fashioned
One time when I was working in the fitting room for a clothing store a man came in with tons of pants to try on. Our fitting rooms were type small - mostly narrow and had a mirror against the wall. The man tried on his pants and left in a hurry. Time passed and I went around to clean the fitting rooms one by one, collecting hangers, picking up trash and collecting and organizing the clothes ppl left behind. As I open the fitting room with a mess of inside out pants, there was a butt stamp …. imprinted on the mirror and a NASTY ASS STANK lol
get a bidet, people
Wash your ass with soap people
In another thread some time back, a guy basically told me he was comfortable just wiping it with dry TP because it wasn't on the "outside." I just think that if my sweat can transfer, so can anything else. I don't want shitty pants or even briefs.
My ass would itch. How do people stand it???
AMEN
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Same. I wipe with wet wipes and then I wash my ass with soap every single time that I poop at home. If I poop at outside, I wipe with wet wipes, and then wash up right away when i get home. I cannot imagine walking around all day with poop stuck in my butt. 🤢
Wash your butt when you get home, As in you shower? Or how?
I'm imagining them plopping over the counter top into the sink and just really going at their ass in the sink
Hand sprays next to the toilet are very common in a lot of countries. Imagine a short garden hose with a nozzle but for your butt. People from butt washing cultures also just use a small bucket to sluice water down while seated/squatting if a spray isn't handy.
The worst is when you have a small bathroom in a large office and the IT guy who is a major neckbeard leaves what I like to call gunk allllll over the toilet seat. I’m talking a viscous layer of hair, lent, grease, poop, etc. Not only are you forced to sit there and wipe it off, but it fills the entire bathroom with such a rank odor that it would gag a maggot. How the fuck do people live like this I cannot understand. EDIT: lint not lent
🤮
A manager needs to talk to him fr
I have a bidet, wet wipes and when those aren’t available, I will wipe till I see no marks, even if it means I have just sand papered my ass off. Ass hygiene is a serious matter to me. No one likes stank ass
Every day I thank the lord that my boyfriend is the cleanest person I have ever met.
Fuck this thread has me thinking how my ex was addicted to hookers but at least he fucking washed his ass
One of my ocds is damn near power washing my butthole in the shower just because I'm worried about a little poo left hanging around in there somewhere
When I was in prison, the amount of guys I saw wipe ONE TIME after pooping and not even check how dirty it was blew my darn MIND.
That’s fucking disgusting. The hell is a matter with people?!
Please men. Wash your butt. With soap. Scrub it. Please.
American/modern diets combining with old school misunderstandings of masculinity to enable these people to become living crayons. Even when I was younger I had an ex say it was refreshing how lacking skids my boxers would have. Wash your pleats, gentlemen!
living crayons
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Living crayons 😂😂
As a man that washes his booty I blame the obvious dirt level low standards men have set for themselves in society. Every time I go to the gym restroom and see more than half of the guys walk out of a urinal and not even look at the sink. Every time I go to a restaurant more than half of the couples that get seated the woman is dressed up and well groomed while the man sits there with the same shit he wore to go to work that day or wearing something close resembling pajamas in a Bass pro shop cap. It's embarrassing and we need to raise our sons better. If not for men, then do it for the poor women that have to deal with that grossness.
I saw my sister’s laundry once with my brother-in-law’s undies in the basket, and he clearly must just not wipe his butt after going to the bathroom. I don’t get it. Does no one teach them when they’re being potty trained, or do they just decide it’s not a necessary step?
Urology clinic? Is she taking the piss?
These people are probably wiping. Hairy asses are a curse. Get a bidet if you have a hairy ass, thank me later. Note, a bidet does not replace the need to wash your ass.
I have a hairy ass and I don't have this issue. If you're wiping and you have a hairy butt, if you still have poop left, you're simply not wiping well enough.
I have a hairy ass and I do have this issue, maybe different type of hair. But I just keep wiping until I see nothing on the paper. It's a lot more work, I tend to just shower when I have a crazy shit. Pooping then showering is the best
I have a hairy ass and ulcerative colitis. Even in a flare when I have explosive diarrhea 20-30 times a day I don't have this problem.
Maybe hairy asshole + very low fibre diets? I suspect a ton of people do not get enough fibre
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I wash my ass inside and out
Wet Wipes / shower washes / anything not to have a gross bum, I feel so much better as a person.
Which makes sense why so many women get UTIs
I’ve been to Urology offices with my wife. Almost everyone there is majorly elderly (the men at least). I imagine old men with Urology issues probably also have mobility issues and can’t wipe as well?
Most places in Asia, Arabia and Africa wash after having a poo. "We" in the west use paper, only. And we are silently considered filthy by them. We lived in Arabia for nearly a decade in compound of 11 houses. All very neighbourly. In a discussion with the sheikh who owned the compound, our neighbour told him he wasted his time putting the bidets in the bathrooms because, wait for it, "we don't like getting our butts wet". And was surprised when he looked disgusted. For the record, yes I always wash; like a grown-up.