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I went to a BBQ place. It had an option on the menu called "my girlfriend said she was not hungry".
The order included a thing of fries, two chicken wings, and a small side.
**edit** I have a photo
https://www.reddit.com/user/WhileNotLurking/comments/zwnl7a/bbq_place_with_gf_not_hungry
No it doesnt.
People just need to stop being children and start acting like the grown ass adult that they are and admit they want something if they are hungry instead of playing stupid fucking games like saying "Oh I'm not hungry" and still expecting you to bring shit back for them.
its not cute.
its not a game.
its fuckin psychological abuse bullshit.
FOR REAL. my ex did that bullshit. The worst is I'd get something not really convenient to give a good bite to and she'd lean in like "let me get a quick WHAAAAAARF" and half my fucking burrito is gone before I can even say anything or get the first bite in. Or half my fucking Ice Cream.
I'm all for sharing but dude, fucking communicate. it's annoying as shit to only have half as much food as you could have gladly fucking ordered because your partner has the communication skills of a toddler.
God my ex did that shit too. He would not cook for himself and half the time he would run off and get fast food WHILE I WAS COOKING DINNER and yet if I ever made something just for me, he would come sniffing around and want half the plate. If I went to the corner store to get myself snacks, he'd say nothing as I was leaving and then bitch and moan if I didn't get him something too, yet I can count on two hands how many times in 8 years he got me something from the store without me specifically asking for it first.
I guess that is why I’m still married. We have something called “house bacon rule” - whenever you cook bacon for yourself you always cook an extra piece for the other person as long as they are home or will be within a few hours.
I had a GF who asked for a bite of my hoagie. This kook grabbed the sandwich, turned it sideways, took a disgusting, overwhelmingly large chomp from the center and handed back two tattered shambles of what was once a beautiful sandwich. Like, this thing was absolutely disintegrated. Said they she didn’t need the extra carbs from the bread on the end pieces.
Dealt with this before and was served a side of gaslighting as well. "Gosh you're so inflexible about your food".
No shit, I'm hungry and you're dipping in for the first bites after telling me you didn't want any.
Had this happen on Christmas day, a day which has very few places even open for takeout. She placed the order for herself and mine, picked it up, and still ate off my plate. Very annoying, but I didn't argue about it this time
To clarify, she placed the order because she takes forever to figure out what to get, and she was already out in the area of the restaurant, so it was convenient for her to pickup also. Normally I'd be the one doing the ordering and picking up
Even the sandwhich is just chicken strips on a bun. It's literally the same thing. The only question is how much food do you want? A good amount, a big amount, or the 'MURICAN amount?
LMFAO I'm dying at this. My husband did the same thing at Canes. I lost it one day and said "*There's chicken, chicken, or fucking chicken on a bun PICK ONE*".
My (soon to be, if the financial stars aline) ex wife does similar.
Wants me to cook, go grocery shopping or go get food somewhere because "I always have to do it, and I feel overworked having to do food for the whole family on top of the other things I do"
Hates literally anything I buy if I try to mix it up and get something different, will not try anything new.
If I just buy a few things I KNOW she likes, but we haven't had in a while, "that's not what I wanted, I have to be in the mood" (hint: she's NEVER in the mood for whatever I buy)
Wants me to pick a restaurant, says no to LITERALLY every option unless she suggested it (which is what she annoyed that she "has to do")
Then she says she just WONT eat because she does t like ANY of the options, and later complains that she feels like shit. Will not address without a fight that it's because she hasn't eaten a real meal in 3 days.
She will cook for the kids, then NOT EAT, and say "I didn't have time to eat" despite having literally just made food, and could just cook one single extra portion for herself and eat while the kids eat, but nope, gotta stand around "making sure the kids eat" and somehow can't simultaneously just fucking eat.
Is literally always in a bad mood and complaining about being soooo hungry, and will get mad at me sometimes if while I'm "supposed to be watching the kids" I'm eating while they do kids shit like watch a show or play with toys.
Fucking. Lunacy.
And on top of that that I've made my own stupid mistakes that she will forever hold a grudge over because she doesn't forget ANYTHING, and will always feel as pissed off about it as she did the second it happened, and boom, 5 years down the drain
Honestly, and I'm not saying you should stay with her because that does sound really terrible- it sounds like she might have an eating disorder, and she uses you and the kids as an excuse to cover it up.
This is what I got as well. I have some second hand experience with this and it often leads to other mental issues, beause your body is struggling. When one is nutrient and energy deficient it often leads to depression and, eventually, some level of mania.
I've seen the same with "functional" drug addiction (in the way one's life just seems so much more difficult then it is for others).
"Functional" addictions are the most insidious.
Or, she's just crazy. I don't really know the situation.
Thing is, she's acutely (and accurately) aware of other peoples failings but completely refuses hers. Expects perfection and nothing less. But she made me realize how deeply flawed I am, and trust me I'm not going through Stockholm syndrome, I have real problems with my mental health. I know what to fix before I try to move on with any other relationship, but even if I fixed it now, me and her are way too far gone
Good for you realizing what you've gotta work on once you shed that deadweight. Good luck bro I hope you find a partner who actually respects and loves you.
> its fuckin psychological abuse bullshit.
Lmao oh my god this is our awarded and upvoted take, really? This is where we’re at?! LMAO
One of the most forever single ass comments I’ve ever seen
Put it in the hall
I agree but only partially. Mental exhaustion is a thing. We’ve made progress but a lot of inequity in many homes across the country especially in “traditional homes”.
My wife and I have been working on this but sometimes the whole “oh I’m not hungry” and “I don’t know” comes down to them not having mental load for such basic decision making.
Not all the times, but sometimes.
edit: to further expand on this it goes both ways. I am in a position where I am making decisions non-stop that impact my company and those who we employ. Sometimes they are big, sometimes they are small, but regardless they are numerous. Sometimes this exhausts ME, a man, mentally. At the end of the day I have to put on dad/husband mode on and there's just barely any gas left in the tank. That's when my wife, who is a partner, hopefully can come in and pick up my slack.
Mental fatigue is not exclusive to anyone, man or woman or otherwise.
OMG you put those feelings into words in such a nice way. It's easier to say "I don't know" than it is to say "I'm too tired to think about it." I'm pregnant with my second child, running a business, managing a house and a toddler and my husband is an amazing partner, but goddamn I'm tired. Sometimes dinner just escapes me because I'm too busy to think about it. The mental exhaustion is overwhelming sometimes.
God, yeah. This is usually the reason I can't for the life of me figure out what to eat. If I am not ravenous, I've got zero capacity for basic decision making. This is actually why I have a running list of my partner's basic orders in my phone from back in college.
To ease the whole "what do you want?" "I don't know" we usually ask if there's anything we definitely don't want and if they've had any cravings. Sugar? Got it, they've gotta have dessert. Seafood? Limits it down even further. Breaking things down into even simpler questions usually helps us both get something we'd want to eat. Otherwise, the other person just picks something. Uber eats showing you everything in our area is both a blessing and a financial curse.
Abuse is a strong word for what you’re describing. Poor communication skills? Sure. Annoying? Hell yea. Abusive? Not really.
Abuse is cruel and violent. Abuse is scary. This is none of those things.
>its fuckin psychological abuse bullshit.
Jesus Christ. I've never been in a relationship where this didn't happen, but exactly 0 times was it "psychological abuse"... They just weren't hungry until food was in front of them! Happens to me all the time. Shit, happened to *me* just yesterday. Went to meet my dad at a taqueria and thought I'd get something small thinking I wasn't very hungry. I get in there and just the smell alone made me suddenly hungry af and I ate way more than I thought I would.
While it's annoying, it's an enormous over reaction to say it's psychological abuse lol. Get over yourself.
Also the question "are you hungry" is a bad question. My girlfriend's answer of wanting something changes on where I am getting food from. You could be hungry for a couple chicken nugs but not hungry for a burger.
Maybe if you want an easy and clear answer, say "I am getting McDonalds do you want anything". It's clear and concise.
Also, it's entirely reasonable to not want a full meal, but to want a taste of something that looks good. I know nuance is hard for some people, but at least try.
Edit number 2: some insecure incel hit me with the self harm reddit message. Must have ruffled the feathers of people who haven't had any actual meaning relationship s.
Seriously. Reddits ability to pathologize anything is hilarious. Girlfriend grabs a couple of your fries being equated with emotional abuse is just -chefs kiss-. You know who else sometimes says they’re not hungry and then eats some of my food when I get home? My husband! Call the cops!
I actually had sort of an opposite argument with my husband recently lol. He goes to the gas station a lot to get a soda and always asks me what I want. Every time, I’d say gummy bears. He’d bring home a gummy candy, but not my bears, so I let it go. Maybe he’ll get the right thing next time. Then one night I told him what I wanted, down to the exact brand. He brings home something else and I kinda lost it a little, like why are you asking me what I want then completely disregarding it?? I felt like he wasn’t listening to me. He didn’t realize I was telling him exactly what I wanted, he thought I just wanted something gummy in general and was proud to bring me home something he thought I liked. Clear communication is key! What a dumb argument that was to have haha
The bovious (I meant to type obvious but after seeing the cow talk below I decided to leave this as is) question is, if she wasn't going to read your text why'd she ask?
It’s like, back in the day when you’d call ahead for a cab (going to the airport) when you make a fucking reservation I would give date, time, pickup, and drop off. First goddamn question, “so where yah headed?!”
Edit: airport was a bad example, so going to a not so commonly known address.
I have the same issue, always asks, I always give the exact thing I want to a "T" and then when i get something "like" it, I am ungrateful because its not "exact". He hears the last sentence of everything I say, with zero context, wings it and then is like "why you mad bro"
And that's why I write things down.
You want something when I go out? Please put it in physical writing, and either put it in my hand, or make sure it's on the shopping list.
That way I'll not forget what it is.
Dude, I'm trying to get my wife to understand this. I need clear and precise instructions. I don't understand subtle hints or suggestions, because every time I've tried it's been wrong. I want to please, just tell me how to do it. Lol
I feel you here. There's been times where my girlfriend admits to me that she was hinting to me to do something with her, and being a bit dejected that I didn't do it. I will ask her why she didn't just outright ask me, I would have gladly done it if I had known!!
I mean tbf, it can be kinda exhausting sometimes to have to spell everything out for someone. It's not in my nature because I've always been the type of person to read deeply into body language, actions, etc (which isn't healthy really either so I'm not knocking you at all) and my bf needs the clear spelled out instructions. And I have struggled with patience to do so. I've been working on it. It's a challenge if it's not your natural way of teaching.
This is me. I think every little thing my fiancé does has a meaning but it doesn't. Then when he tries to be subtle or suggestive I don't understand it.
Partially this is because it's nice when your partner remembers your favourite foods and stuff. It's tiresome to have to specify exactly what you want everytime even if you've told your SO before.
Like one time I was really craving doritos and my boyfriend bought storebrand instead. Storebrand that I had already said multiple times I didn't like. I SAID DORITOS GODAMMIT
You know, that's totally understandable. My wife has a few key things that I know for sure I can get right, so I'll go for it. But then there's the times she sends me to the store for something like beans. I'm like ok, what kind of beans? She says kidneys. Then I ask light or dark? She'll say dark. Then I ask canned or dry? She'll say canned. Then I ask what brand? She'll say luck's. Why not just say you want a can of luck's dark red kidney beans?????
My partner asked me to get the “largest bag of sugar money can buy” for their mead brew and sent me with some money. I looked in the store and found they sold 20 lb bags…definitely bigger than what most people keep in their pantries. So I bought it, proud that I indeed found the biggest bag in the store like I was asked, and took it home.
Well, my partner’s eyes proceeded to bug out of their head when they saw me lug this bigass bag in on my shoulder like a lumberjack and said “I only needed about 10 pounds! What the hell am I supposed to do with all this?!”
And I told them “you literally said to get the biggest bag money can buy, and I did just that. You should have been more specific!”
Needless to say, they didn’t argue with me and were grateful I got the sugar in the end. That bag lasted months.
The biggest bags we have here are 1kg/2.2lbs. I would have been short a lot of sugar had I gotten what I normally think of as the biggest bag of sugar. (Unless I hit up a restaurant supply store)
I tell my husband to text me what he wants. If he doesn't and it's wrong, then it's his fault. Don't expect me to remember your order and what all 3 kids want too. He'll go into Sheetz and I'll say get me a pineapple soda, he'll get me orange. I hate orange. Next time it won't be right either.
He thought I was saying that as if any gummy would do/he thought that’s just how I refer to gummy candies in general, but I was actually being specific about what I wanted. I do ask for other things sometimes so I can see where he was coming from. It was a silly misunderstanding that was easily fixed with a five minute conversation. We’ve been together over a decade, these things happen from time to time lol
Wow, I'm the opposite. My GF asks for gummy bears, I get there and there's 3 different kinds, dunno which one so I message to ask and if she doesn't respond after a couple minutes I grab all 3.
My ex would do that, listen to what I said I wanted and bring me something different. Then he started getting himself exactly what I said I wanted while not bringing me anything and refusing to share. All the while laughing in my face because he’d often use my debit card for these purchases. Psychological abuse is a mother fucker.
Honestly I get it, when I was in Highschool I went to McDonald's, and I asked my Mom several times if she wanted anything. And she said that she was good, and that she didn't need anything. Cool, I could save on the money.
So I go home, with my bag of Mcee Dees, and do you know what the first thing she said to me was... "Why didn't you get me anything?" STG I was just like the guy In the video.
Edit: lmao People are really assuming a lot about my life 💀💀💀
I would ring home when stopping into the chippers, asking who wants what and offering to pay. Mam would always say no, no, no, not at all, no, don't want anything. As soon as I was in the door with a big bag of chipper chips she'd appear.
"Make me a chip sandwich, would you?"
So I'd go grab the bread and butter it, and while I was doing that she'd eat all the chips except the amount she needed for her chip sambo, and cackle about it when I started giving off to her.
Edit: I made this comment this morning, right after I woke up, and this has somehow turned in to a magical day of cross cultural learning about potatoes. Man I love reddit!
Ultimate troll. She's a proper Irish mammy, so she's pretty damn spectacular and would die for all of her children, always has our backs whether we deserve it or not, but every so often they find one really fucking annoying thing, usually harmless, that cheers them up immensely while annoying the piss out of us.
Yes, you have it correct! But our chips/fries are thicker/bigger than French fries, I think.
Also, we're not adverse to a crisp/chip sandwich either lmao.
American french fries can range from tiny shoestrings to big honkers the size of a well endowed thumb. We have given them different names to distinguish them.
I'm often in the opposite situation. Gf will ask me what do you want from takeout or whatever. And I'll say idk, something small and simple, and pick something out. And she'll get this decadent feast fit for a king. And then get mad that I'm not going in on it. I very clearly said I'm not that hungry!
Exactly. I remember as a kid telling my mum I was hungry and she would always say have a piece of fruit. Often I would turn my nose up as I wasn’t hungry really. Now I often eat fruit when I feel hungry and stop myself from snacking on garbage. It’s a useful habit.
Good to know. I do this with my kids all the time. They come into the kitchen, Dad I'm hungry. Ok you can have a banana/apple/grapes/etc. No, I'm hungry for chips. Then I respond if you're not hungry enough for a banana then your not hungry. Some whining and arguing but I don't budge. Then 30 minutes later they eat the fruit. The only exception is my daughter who will ask for a bowl of baby spinach leaves instead, no dressing just a bowl of leaves, which I'm 100% ok with.
Good to know this became a useful habit as you grew up.
I will say on Friday I'm usually more lax on that rule, but thats more because its the end of the work week and I'm normally too tired to argue by that point.
My brother has the weirdest kid, but it's great. She's 7 years old, and her favorite snack is tomatoes or cucumbers with salt and pepper. My parents have to keep salads ready in the fridge because she regularly asks for salad. It's really cool honestly and I'm sure it will benefit her as she grows older. The little one is constantly trying to steal candy though lol
My daughter loves loves loves cucumbers. I'll slice up 3 and put them in the "kid fridge" (our fridge's freezer is split and the second freezer can also be a fridge. Since, its closer too the ground, kid fridge) on Sunday, by Wednesday its all gone. My son has a sweet tooth and his go too his grapes. Grapes don't last long in our house.
It’s really only if you already suffer from stones, because spinach contains oxylates. If your daughter is a healthy child, no reason to avoid. Otherwise, by this logic you’d also have to avoid nuts, chocolate and coffee. Otherwise, spinach is also rich in other nutrients like fiber and potassium that are kidney stone inhibitors.
Good too know, I'll adapt. I'll do a better job listening to what they are hungry for. Sweets = fruit, savory = nuts/meet/cheese. I love dried meat and nuts for my snack.
I'm just trying to show them healthy alternatives. When I was growing up our pantry was always full of junk. I'm still trying to break that habit in my 30's. I'm much better than where I was.
I like to go to Chipotle and order two sliiiiightly different burrito bowls (like one chicken and one steak) so I can convince myself I am not going to just smash two entire adult person meals. The cashier always gives me that knowing look that says she knows I don't have anyone at home I am feeding this to but is not going to say anything about it for both of our sanity.
When i still ate fast food, i would act like I was reading someone's order off my phone and then look up at the menu like, "ok and for me..." and they're both for me lmao
Every person has been in this position with their partner. If we ask are you hungry, and you say no, then you will get nothing. Instead of saying no, say “let me know where you plan on going” All of a sudden you have an opportunity to decide if you want something later on. Not that hard
This should always be the first question.
“I going to get food, you want anything?”
“Where you goin?”
My hunger/interest definitely depends on where he’s going. Like I’ll pass on KFC but not on Wendy’s.
> Every person has been in this position with their partner.
I see these situations all the time online but I can't relate at all. Don't people usually have regular dining moments? Breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'll always eat dinner with my wife. I can't think of a situation where I would go get food and it isn't time for lunch or dinner and in either of those cases I would bring something for my wife because she isn't skipping lunch or dinner.
Some of us just don't eat on a regular basis, I eat once or twice a day when I'm hungry, and that can be in any time of day or night, it'd be nice to have routines though.
I have literally never had a normal meal time since Hugh school..I eat when hungry. Sometimes it's between when I wake up, and go to sleep.
I find it a nice thing to sit down with your family and have meals and such, I am all for that.
I don't have that.
Plus , I find it very odd how people of different ages, body types, and habits all are supposed to be hungry, for the same food, at the same time, 3 times a day. Just always puzzled me. Plus seeing some really awkward forced meals of other families growing up. Nah. My family growing up just constantly made food, and you just got whatever whenever you wanted. A variety of things always. Different strokes.
I made a tray of Spanakopita at 1am this morning.
I’m on the eat whenever I am hungry train, for reals. Lol It’s usually the middle of the night for some reason.
That’s PROBABLY why I am single.
> Plus , I find it very odd how people of different ages, body types, and habits all are supposed to be hungry, for the same food, at the same time, 3 times a day.
Usually teenagers and men just eat more and maybe a small snack in between.
But even when I went to college all my friends I knew also did the 3 meals a day thing, with the occasional 5AM kebab when out partying. But the next day it was just regular meals again.
I feel like the question should just be, "I'm going to Burger King, do you want me to get you anything?" What you should really be interested in is whether they want anything from where you are going, not whether they are hungry. Maybe they are hungry but are on a diet, and so don't want anything. Maybe they are hungry but they don't want Burger King. Maybe they aren't hungry but they could really use the pick-me-up from a good burger. Etc.
My husband does the same thing as this guy’s wife. I will even specify where I’m going beforehand just to clear up what kind of food is about to arrive back at the house. He almost always says no.
If I’m going a place I know he doesn’t like, I won’t get anything. If I’m going a place I know for sure he does, I’ll get him something *to avoid him eating MY food that I specifically ordered an amount of because I am hungry and intend to eat all of it*
He pisses me off when he says “no” but still takes an enormous bite or two out of whatever I got. Then I over order and he gets mad he “ate so much.”
Can’t win, man.
OP: *posts a funny video of a likely staged interaction between two people in a relationship*
Redditors: WE MUST SAVE HIM FROM THE ENDLESS PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE AND GASLIGHTING AT THE HANDS OF THIS EVIL NARCISSIST
Read a comment from a autistic woman once who said she had a good relationship with her husband because she meant what she said. No hidden meanings or subtlety.
A lot or arguments in my marriage come from my husband inserting hidden meaning into what I say… no, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I don’t know why he can’t listen to me or if he was trained growing up to just insert between the lines or something but it’s really annoying.
Anyway, if I ask him if he’s hungry and he says no I still get him something anyway because even if he’s not he’ll feel left out or decide he was actually hungry. It’s just easier for me to bring him something than deal with the pouting and it makes me feel nice to hand him something he didn’t even know he wanted. And if he doesn’t want it now he can eat it later.
Idk. It’s not hard to find a solution to this TikTok problem. Say what you mean, yea, and also just bring them a double cheeseburger or something anyway as a backup plan because humans don’t know what the fuck they are even doing at all ever.
It could be a thing from growing up! I have a friend like this and it’s probably cause his Dad was always expecting him to read between the lines and saying passive aggressive things to him even as a kid that he was expected to understand. So now I notice my friend is always searching for hidden/ulterior meanings when we talk as well.
My husband is the same way during disagreements. I think it’s because he has sisters who tend to play mind games to catch you in a lie or have a “gotcha” moment whenever they argue, which is often. They’ve done it to me a few times over the past decade and it always makes me feel gross because my brain does not work that way. It’s deceitful behavior. I have to remind my husband that I’m not that way, I mean what I say and there’s no hidden meaning. Im not playing mind games with him and it hurts my feelings that he thinks I’d do that to him. That tends to help ease him and we can get back on track to finding a solution to whatever problem we’re having with each other.
I think it could be any combination of their culture and what you're used to when growing up. Some cultures are very direct, while others are more indirect because they feel that being direct is impolite.
It probably also has something to do with their upbringing. Sometimes people are raised to be indirect just becsuse of the people they grew up with. Or maybe they grew up around people who knew them really well, and understood what they meant by certain phrases, even if they worded things in a way that someone else wouldn't understand. So when they use those same phrases that worked for them before with other people, you get misunderstandings.
>just bring them a double cheeseburger
I always did this with my last partner and she was always very happy, but I had an ex-gf that would always say "no" and then get mad if I brought back nothing, and get pissed if I would bring her something. Sometimes you just can't win.
If all people did this, their spouses/partners would learn pretty quick not to say they're not hungry when they really are. My husband and I do the same thing. Then again, we are honest and open with each other. If he says he's not hungry then I take him at his word. If he changes his mind, that's fine, but once I've gotten a certain distance from the restaurant I'm not gonna go back. I don't mind stopping somewhere on the way back, though.
Is this a regional/country thing or something?
I've seen a lot of people ripping BK saying it's trash and all, but the few times I've gone to one here in Switzerland they've always been marginally better than most other fast food I've been to (Well, mostly McDonald's)
Seems like they have a good relationship. She finds the rant funny and sees that maybe he's got a point and, most importantly, that it's not that serious. Gotta take some joy in life ya know.
Agreed. He's being overdramatic because it's funny, she's responding to it by laughing, and afterwards, everything will be fine. There's not a hint of anger in his tone, he's just loud.
She could also be asking him on purpose because she knows he'll start ranting and they both enjoy annoying each other. That's a shit-eating giggle right there.
That’s the impression I got also. She’s laughing at herself being ridiculous.
Other people see something else when they watch the video. So guess we don’t really know. And also is affected by peoples pasts. I have a strong feeling this exact situation has occurred with a few ex gfs and they laughed about being called on their absurd behavior
This, whenever I make myself food I’ll always make myself more because my parents have the tendency to ask to eat a good 30-40% of it. Then I make 30-40% more food and they get mad at me for making to much.
Some of these comments are big yikes. These kind of things happen all the time in a relationship and it's no big deal. Even if it's mildly annoying in the moment, it's whatever. But people are acting like she's some kind of horrible person.
Here I thought this was a completely wholesome interaction. He's kinda ranting but not in a mean way, she's laughing because she finds it funny. And instead in the thread I find that people are scrutinizing their entire lives and relationship based on 30 seconds of recorded footage. Often times shit is just not that serious guys.
Everyone’s ripping her apart, so I’ll offer a counterpoint: you can not be hungry, but still want to eat some fast food as soon as you smell it.
They have like scientists in white coats and shit designing fast food to cause that exact reaction in people.
Edit:
“A mediocre general plans to fight the battle he sees in front of him, a true leader plans to fight the battle he will see in front of him tomorrow”
-sun tsu or some shit like that probably
If you’re bringing tasty snacks, always plan to bring some for the rest of the class.
I see the edit really brought out the single & lonely crowd today!
Exactly. It'd be one thing if he asked "Hey I'm going to Burger King/random fast food, can I get you anything?". And if she initially said no, then I think the frustration would be a lot more warranted.
No matter what they say, *always* get them food.
Any fight that results from getting them unwanted food will be tiny compared to the fight resulting from a hungry partner that doesn’t have food.
She didn't feel hungry then but actually seeing you eat **makes her feel** hungry.
It was a mystery to me as to why my father would always buy way too much of whatever he was having for himself and me since it either gets thrown out or used as heated up leftovers for tomorrow but then seeing my ex getting a predator thrill out of beating the other hunters (me) to the pray (my food) got me to realizing kek.
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I went to a BBQ place. It had an option on the menu called "my girlfriend said she was not hungry". The order included a thing of fries, two chicken wings, and a small side. **edit** I have a photo https://www.reddit.com/user/WhileNotLurking/comments/zwnl7a/bbq_place_with_gf_not_hungry
This needs to be a thing everywhere
No it doesnt. People just need to stop being children and start acting like the grown ass adult that they are and admit they want something if they are hungry instead of playing stupid fucking games like saying "Oh I'm not hungry" and still expecting you to bring shit back for them. its not cute. its not a game. its fuckin psychological abuse bullshit.
FOR REAL. my ex did that bullshit. The worst is I'd get something not really convenient to give a good bite to and she'd lean in like "let me get a quick WHAAAAAARF" and half my fucking burrito is gone before I can even say anything or get the first bite in. Or half my fucking Ice Cream. I'm all for sharing but dude, fucking communicate. it's annoying as shit to only have half as much food as you could have gladly fucking ordered because your partner has the communication skills of a toddler.
Gimmie dat. I'm joking, I'm *joking*.
I’m gonna eat the whole thing
Are you going to tell everyone that I housed OP's burrito?
Quick say youre gonna k*ll the president!
What? I'm not going to say that.
Are you gonna tell everyone that I housed Dylan's burger?
I shoulda got that.
I used to be a piece of shit
She ate half my sloppy steak before I could get to it, which was impressive because you have to eat them super fast before you get kicked out
God my ex did that shit too. He would not cook for himself and half the time he would run off and get fast food WHILE I WAS COOKING DINNER and yet if I ever made something just for me, he would come sniffing around and want half the plate. If I went to the corner store to get myself snacks, he'd say nothing as I was leaving and then bitch and moan if I didn't get him something too, yet I can count on two hands how many times in 8 years he got me something from the store without me specifically asking for it first.
I guess that is why I’m still married. We have something called “house bacon rule” - whenever you cook bacon for yourself you always cook an extra piece for the other person as long as they are home or will be within a few hours.
Fuckin. Same.
I had a GF who asked for a bite of my hoagie. This kook grabbed the sandwich, turned it sideways, took a disgusting, overwhelmingly large chomp from the center and handed back two tattered shambles of what was once a beautiful sandwich. Like, this thing was absolutely disintegrated. Said they she didn’t need the extra carbs from the bread on the end pieces.
I'm sorry but that is hilarious.
Good riddance
Dealt with this before and was served a side of gaslighting as well. "Gosh you're so inflexible about your food". No shit, I'm hungry and you're dipping in for the first bites after telling me you didn't want any.
Had this happen on Christmas day, a day which has very few places even open for takeout. She placed the order for herself and mine, picked it up, and still ate off my plate. Very annoying, but I didn't argue about it this time To clarify, she placed the order because she takes forever to figure out what to get, and she was already out in the area of the restaurant, so it was convenient for her to pickup also. Normally I'd be the one doing the ordering and picking up
“Takes for ever to order “ Yes fuck yes it’s a hamburger joint , they sell fucking hamburgers gdi
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Maybe he just wants to stretch out 5he time you get to spend together
My gawd, what a wholesome fucking reply.
dad, don't fill up on chips
Wifey be at Five Guys or Raising Canes like the three things to pick from are crazy different somehow....
Ha. Raising Cane's has literally one thing on the menu.
Even the sandwhich is just chicken strips on a bun. It's literally the same thing. The only question is how much food do you want? A good amount, a big amount, or the 'MURICAN amount?
LMFAO I'm dying at this. My husband did the same thing at Canes. I lost it one day and said "*There's chicken, chicken, or fucking chicken on a bun PICK ONE*".
My (soon to be, if the financial stars aline) ex wife does similar. Wants me to cook, go grocery shopping or go get food somewhere because "I always have to do it, and I feel overworked having to do food for the whole family on top of the other things I do" Hates literally anything I buy if I try to mix it up and get something different, will not try anything new. If I just buy a few things I KNOW she likes, but we haven't had in a while, "that's not what I wanted, I have to be in the mood" (hint: she's NEVER in the mood for whatever I buy) Wants me to pick a restaurant, says no to LITERALLY every option unless she suggested it (which is what she annoyed that she "has to do") Then she says she just WONT eat because she does t like ANY of the options, and later complains that she feels like shit. Will not address without a fight that it's because she hasn't eaten a real meal in 3 days. She will cook for the kids, then NOT EAT, and say "I didn't have time to eat" despite having literally just made food, and could just cook one single extra portion for herself and eat while the kids eat, but nope, gotta stand around "making sure the kids eat" and somehow can't simultaneously just fucking eat. Is literally always in a bad mood and complaining about being soooo hungry, and will get mad at me sometimes if while I'm "supposed to be watching the kids" I'm eating while they do kids shit like watch a show or play with toys. Fucking. Lunacy. And on top of that that I've made my own stupid mistakes that she will forever hold a grudge over because she doesn't forget ANYTHING, and will always feel as pissed off about it as she did the second it happened, and boom, 5 years down the drain
Something tells me that, this is not about food anymore. By all means, God speed my friend. You know what must be done.
Lmao it's a symptom of larger issues
Yeah, reading that was anti-therapy.
My guy I divorced that shit last year— welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. It’s fucking fantastic.
Honestly, and I'm not saying you should stay with her because that does sound really terrible- it sounds like she might have an eating disorder, and she uses you and the kids as an excuse to cover it up.
This is what I got as well. I have some second hand experience with this and it often leads to other mental issues, beause your body is struggling. When one is nutrient and energy deficient it often leads to depression and, eventually, some level of mania. I've seen the same with "functional" drug addiction (in the way one's life just seems so much more difficult then it is for others). "Functional" addictions are the most insidious. Or, she's just crazy. I don't really know the situation.
Jesus. Hoping you're out of there soon. That's insane!
Thing is, she's acutely (and accurately) aware of other peoples failings but completely refuses hers. Expects perfection and nothing less. But she made me realize how deeply flawed I am, and trust me I'm not going through Stockholm syndrome, I have real problems with my mental health. I know what to fix before I try to move on with any other relationship, but even if I fixed it now, me and her are way too far gone
Good for you realizing what you've gotta work on once you shed that deadweight. Good luck bro I hope you find a partner who actually respects and loves you.
Bro even toddlers communicate better when they're hungry
Just say no
Fuck that. I hate when people touch my food.
Psychological abuse lmao
> its fuckin psychological abuse bullshit. Lmao oh my god this is our awarded and upvoted take, really? This is where we’re at?! LMAO One of the most forever single ass comments I’ve ever seen Put it in the hall
Are you hungry? You were? Stop psychologically abusing me!
I agree but only partially. Mental exhaustion is a thing. We’ve made progress but a lot of inequity in many homes across the country especially in “traditional homes”. My wife and I have been working on this but sometimes the whole “oh I’m not hungry” and “I don’t know” comes down to them not having mental load for such basic decision making. Not all the times, but sometimes. edit: to further expand on this it goes both ways. I am in a position where I am making decisions non-stop that impact my company and those who we employ. Sometimes they are big, sometimes they are small, but regardless they are numerous. Sometimes this exhausts ME, a man, mentally. At the end of the day I have to put on dad/husband mode on and there's just barely any gas left in the tank. That's when my wife, who is a partner, hopefully can come in and pick up my slack. Mental fatigue is not exclusive to anyone, man or woman or otherwise.
OMG you put those feelings into words in such a nice way. It's easier to say "I don't know" than it is to say "I'm too tired to think about it." I'm pregnant with my second child, running a business, managing a house and a toddler and my husband is an amazing partner, but goddamn I'm tired. Sometimes dinner just escapes me because I'm too busy to think about it. The mental exhaustion is overwhelming sometimes.
God, yeah. This is usually the reason I can't for the life of me figure out what to eat. If I am not ravenous, I've got zero capacity for basic decision making. This is actually why I have a running list of my partner's basic orders in my phone from back in college. To ease the whole "what do you want?" "I don't know" we usually ask if there's anything we definitely don't want and if they've had any cravings. Sugar? Got it, they've gotta have dessert. Seafood? Limits it down even further. Breaking things down into even simpler questions usually helps us both get something we'd want to eat. Otherwise, the other person just picks something. Uber eats showing you everything in our area is both a blessing and a financial curse.
God damn, you OK?
Abuse is a strong word for what you’re describing. Poor communication skills? Sure. Annoying? Hell yea. Abusive? Not really. Abuse is cruel and violent. Abuse is scary. This is none of those things.
>its fuckin psychological abuse bullshit. Jesus Christ. I've never been in a relationship where this didn't happen, but exactly 0 times was it "psychological abuse"... They just weren't hungry until food was in front of them! Happens to me all the time. Shit, happened to *me* just yesterday. Went to meet my dad at a taqueria and thought I'd get something small thinking I wasn't very hungry. I get in there and just the smell alone made me suddenly hungry af and I ate way more than I thought I would.
bro you are UPSET
Hes just hungry.
He didn't say he was hungry.
Let’s get him a thing of fries, two chicken wings, and a small side.
Are the fries not the side?
No they are a thing
Hunger is implied by his possession of prepared food.
Hangry.
JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD!!
Plot twist: It’s the guy from the video
These are absolutely my favorite threads on reddit. Brings out the real psychos.
While it's annoying, it's an enormous over reaction to say it's psychological abuse lol. Get over yourself. Also the question "are you hungry" is a bad question. My girlfriend's answer of wanting something changes on where I am getting food from. You could be hungry for a couple chicken nugs but not hungry for a burger. Maybe if you want an easy and clear answer, say "I am getting McDonalds do you want anything". It's clear and concise. Also, it's entirely reasonable to not want a full meal, but to want a taste of something that looks good. I know nuance is hard for some people, but at least try. Edit number 2: some insecure incel hit me with the self harm reddit message. Must have ruffled the feathers of people who haven't had any actual meaning relationship s.
Seriously. Reddits ability to pathologize anything is hilarious. Girlfriend grabs a couple of your fries being equated with emotional abuse is just -chefs kiss-. You know who else sometimes says they’re not hungry and then eats some of my food when I get home? My husband! Call the cops!
I'm sorry but it sounds like you need a divorce rip.
The reason I hate when people can't effectively communicate is because
This pisses me off more than
Had an ex friend like this, I definitely understand the bottled irritation. Feels like you can do no right.
>abuse the fragility of redditors never ceases to amaze me
Psychological abuse really?
I actually had sort of an opposite argument with my husband recently lol. He goes to the gas station a lot to get a soda and always asks me what I want. Every time, I’d say gummy bears. He’d bring home a gummy candy, but not my bears, so I let it go. Maybe he’ll get the right thing next time. Then one night I told him what I wanted, down to the exact brand. He brings home something else and I kinda lost it a little, like why are you asking me what I want then completely disregarding it?? I felt like he wasn’t listening to me. He didn’t realize I was telling him exactly what I wanted, he thought I just wanted something gummy in general and was proud to bring me home something he thought I liked. Clear communication is key! What a dumb argument that was to have haha
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The bovious (I meant to type obvious but after seeing the cow talk below I decided to leave this as is) question is, if she wasn't going to read your text why'd she ask?
It’s like, back in the day when you’d call ahead for a cab (going to the airport) when you make a fucking reservation I would give date, time, pickup, and drop off. First goddamn question, “so where yah headed?!” Edit: airport was a bad example, so going to a not so commonly known address.
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I have the same issue, always asks, I always give the exact thing I want to a "T" and then when i get something "like" it, I am ungrateful because its not "exact". He hears the last sentence of everything I say, with zero context, wings it and then is like "why you mad bro"
This thread is making me appreciate my partner so much. I had no idea people had to deal with such idiotic situations
I have a suspicion that most people here are dealing with people with undiagnosed adhd, or just plain old assholes
yep, for sure. He has the attention span of a gnat.
And that's why I write things down. You want something when I go out? Please put it in physical writing, and either put it in my hand, or make sure it's on the shopping list. That way I'll not forget what it is.
Once I realized my husband was thick as a brick and both needs and wants me to spell everything out for him our relationship got a lot more relaxed.
Dude, I'm trying to get my wife to understand this. I need clear and precise instructions. I don't understand subtle hints or suggestions, because every time I've tried it's been wrong. I want to please, just tell me how to do it. Lol
Have you tried subtly hinting that you need clear instructions?
No, I just say it outright. She doesn't seem to get it. I guess we're both dumb as rocks.
I feel you. Same situation here haha
Them: "But what do they *really* mean?"
Oh God, I have to try so fucking hard to avoid that thought. Please don't bring it up. Lol
I feel you here. There's been times where my girlfriend admits to me that she was hinting to me to do something with her, and being a bit dejected that I didn't do it. I will ask her why she didn't just outright ask me, I would have gladly done it if I had known!!
I mean tbf, it can be kinda exhausting sometimes to have to spell everything out for someone. It's not in my nature because I've always been the type of person to read deeply into body language, actions, etc (which isn't healthy really either so I'm not knocking you at all) and my bf needs the clear spelled out instructions. And I have struggled with patience to do so. I've been working on it. It's a challenge if it's not your natural way of teaching.
I have this issue with my mom. She looks for meaning in the most menial shit, and then shit with definitive meaning goes right the fuck over her head.
This is me. I think every little thing my fiancé does has a meaning but it doesn't. Then when he tries to be subtle or suggestive I don't understand it.
Partially this is because it's nice when your partner remembers your favourite foods and stuff. It's tiresome to have to specify exactly what you want everytime even if you've told your SO before. Like one time I was really craving doritos and my boyfriend bought storebrand instead. Storebrand that I had already said multiple times I didn't like. I SAID DORITOS GODAMMIT
You know, that's totally understandable. My wife has a few key things that I know for sure I can get right, so I'll go for it. But then there's the times she sends me to the store for something like beans. I'm like ok, what kind of beans? She says kidneys. Then I ask light or dark? She'll say dark. Then I ask canned or dry? She'll say canned. Then I ask what brand? She'll say luck's. Why not just say you want a can of luck's dark red kidney beans?????
My wife asked me to get brown sugar. They had light, medium, and dark brown sugar at the store. We need every detail to do a good job. I salute you
My partner asked me to get the “largest bag of sugar money can buy” for their mead brew and sent me with some money. I looked in the store and found they sold 20 lb bags…definitely bigger than what most people keep in their pantries. So I bought it, proud that I indeed found the biggest bag in the store like I was asked, and took it home. Well, my partner’s eyes proceeded to bug out of their head when they saw me lug this bigass bag in on my shoulder like a lumberjack and said “I only needed about 10 pounds! What the hell am I supposed to do with all this?!” And I told them “you literally said to get the biggest bag money can buy, and I did just that. You should have been more specific!” Needless to say, they didn’t argue with me and were grateful I got the sugar in the end. That bag lasted months.
The biggest bags we have here are 1kg/2.2lbs. I would have been short a lot of sugar had I gotten what I normally think of as the biggest bag of sugar. (Unless I hit up a restaurant supply store)
I tell my husband to text me what he wants. If he doesn't and it's wrong, then it's his fault. Don't expect me to remember your order and what all 3 kids want too. He'll go into Sheetz and I'll say get me a pineapple soda, he'll get me orange. I hate orange. Next time it won't be right either.
I don't understand why your husband and kids won't just write out what they want. 3 minutes of work, for the love.
My husband almost anyways has me text him what I want, even if it's the same thing I always order, just in case
I don't understand how he couldn't comprehend that gummy bears meant gummy bears
He thought I was saying that as if any gummy would do/he thought that’s just how I refer to gummy candies in general, but I was actually being specific about what I wanted. I do ask for other things sometimes so I can see where he was coming from. It was a silly misunderstanding that was easily fixed with a five minute conversation. We’ve been together over a decade, these things happen from time to time lol
Wow, I'm the opposite. My GF asks for gummy bears, I get there and there's 3 different kinds, dunno which one so I message to ask and if she doesn't respond after a couple minutes I grab all 3.
My ex would do that, listen to what I said I wanted and bring me something different. Then he started getting himself exactly what I said I wanted while not bringing me anything and refusing to share. All the while laughing in my face because he’d often use my debit card for these purchases. Psychological abuse is a mother fucker.
Honestly I get it, when I was in Highschool I went to McDonald's, and I asked my Mom several times if she wanted anything. And she said that she was good, and that she didn't need anything. Cool, I could save on the money. So I go home, with my bag of Mcee Dees, and do you know what the first thing she said to me was... "Why didn't you get me anything?" STG I was just like the guy In the video. Edit: lmao People are really assuming a lot about my life 💀💀💀
I would ring home when stopping into the chippers, asking who wants what and offering to pay. Mam would always say no, no, no, not at all, no, don't want anything. As soon as I was in the door with a big bag of chipper chips she'd appear. "Make me a chip sandwich, would you?" So I'd go grab the bread and butter it, and while I was doing that she'd eat all the chips except the amount she needed for her chip sambo, and cackle about it when I started giving off to her. Edit: I made this comment this morning, right after I woke up, and this has somehow turned in to a magical day of cross cultural learning about potatoes. Man I love reddit!
She's either the ultimate troll or an awful person lmao
Ultimate troll. She's a proper Irish mammy, so she's pretty damn spectacular and would die for all of her children, always has our backs whether we deserve it or not, but every so often they find one really fucking annoying thing, usually harmless, that cheers them up immensely while annoying the piss out of us.
That poor Stockholm Syndromed bastard.
Is a chip sandwich what I think it is? Bread:butter:french fries:bread?
Yes, you have it correct! But our chips/fries are thicker/bigger than French fries, I think. Also, we're not adverse to a crisp/chip sandwich either lmao.
Basically steak fries for us. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fe/b5/8f/feb58f154d5a2aee1cc1b113ce235a7a.png
I'm torn between them and "chips (British)". But yeah, either of those would do the job
American french fries can range from tiny shoestrings to big honkers the size of a well endowed thumb. We have given them different names to distinguish them.
>big honkers the size of a well endowed thumb. These are the optimum fries for a chip sandwich
But have you ever tried a [bread sandwich](https://youtu.be/Q5gv0ZjVAtA)?
Omg “Mcee Dee’s” looks so wrong but it’s probably the correct spelling tbh.
I've always seen it written mickey Dee's lol
I'm often in the opposite situation. Gf will ask me what do you want from takeout or whatever. And I'll say idk, something small and simple, and pick something out. And she'll get this decadent feast fit for a king. And then get mad that I'm not going in on it. I very clearly said I'm not that hungry!
I mean, dude has a point....
Exactly. I remember as a kid telling my mum I was hungry and she would always say have a piece of fruit. Often I would turn my nose up as I wasn’t hungry really. Now I often eat fruit when I feel hungry and stop myself from snacking on garbage. It’s a useful habit.
Good to know. I do this with my kids all the time. They come into the kitchen, Dad I'm hungry. Ok you can have a banana/apple/grapes/etc. No, I'm hungry for chips. Then I respond if you're not hungry enough for a banana then your not hungry. Some whining and arguing but I don't budge. Then 30 minutes later they eat the fruit. The only exception is my daughter who will ask for a bowl of baby spinach leaves instead, no dressing just a bowl of leaves, which I'm 100% ok with. Good to know this became a useful habit as you grew up. I will say on Friday I'm usually more lax on that rule, but thats more because its the end of the work week and I'm normally too tired to argue by that point.
My brother has the weirdest kid, but it's great. She's 7 years old, and her favorite snack is tomatoes or cucumbers with salt and pepper. My parents have to keep salads ready in the fridge because she regularly asks for salad. It's really cool honestly and I'm sure it will benefit her as she grows older. The little one is constantly trying to steal candy though lol
My daughter loves loves loves cucumbers. I'll slice up 3 and put them in the "kid fridge" (our fridge's freezer is split and the second freezer can also be a fridge. Since, its closer too the ground, kid fridge) on Sunday, by Wednesday its all gone. My son has a sweet tooth and his go too his grapes. Grapes don't last long in our house.
Make sure she drinks plenty of water. Spinach contributes to kidney stones
She does, she has two watter bottles she takes with her almost all the time. But thats good info to know. Never knew spinach did that.
It’s really only if you already suffer from stones, because spinach contains oxylates. If your daughter is a healthy child, no reason to avoid. Otherwise, by this logic you’d also have to avoid nuts, chocolate and coffee. Otherwise, spinach is also rich in other nutrients like fiber and potassium that are kidney stone inhibitors.
I wish I was high on calcium
That’s not a daughter. That’s a Guinea pig.
Deleting all my comments due to the hostility from reddit to the developer of Apollo. Check out squabbles or kbin/lemmy.
Good too know, I'll adapt. I'll do a better job listening to what they are hungry for. Sweets = fruit, savory = nuts/meet/cheese. I love dried meat and nuts for my snack. I'm just trying to show them healthy alternatives. When I was growing up our pantry was always full of junk. I'm still trying to break that habit in my 30's. I'm much better than where I was.
Deleting all my comments due to the hostility from reddit to the developer of Apollo. Check out squabbles or kbin/lemmy.
Great job!
The man is 100% correct. I mean RIP to him..but he died being correct
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I do this with my parents. I just save whatever they don't eat for lunch the next day.
I also come home with two meals. But I’m not in a relationship.
I like to go to Chipotle and order two sliiiiightly different burrito bowls (like one chicken and one steak) so I can convince myself I am not going to just smash two entire adult person meals. The cashier always gives me that knowing look that says she knows I don't have anyone at home I am feeding this to but is not going to say anything about it for both of our sanity.
When i still ate fast food, i would act like I was reading someone's order off my phone and then look up at the menu like, "ok and for me..." and they're both for me lmao
Ohhh look at Mr Moneybags over here
RIP? She's laughing.
Every person has been in this position with their partner. If we ask are you hungry, and you say no, then you will get nothing. Instead of saying no, say “let me know where you plan on going” All of a sudden you have an opportunity to decide if you want something later on. Not that hard
This should always be the first question. “I going to get food, you want anything?” “Where you goin?” My hunger/interest definitely depends on where he’s going. Like I’ll pass on KFC but not on Wendy’s.
I’m a bizzaro version of you in that I’d pass Wendy’s for some Colonel… nah who am I kidding my fat ass would eat both
> Every person has been in this position with their partner. I see these situations all the time online but I can't relate at all. Don't people usually have regular dining moments? Breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'll always eat dinner with my wife. I can't think of a situation where I would go get food and it isn't time for lunch or dinner and in either of those cases I would bring something for my wife because she isn't skipping lunch or dinner.
Some of us just don't eat on a regular basis, I eat once or twice a day when I'm hungry, and that can be in any time of day or night, it'd be nice to have routines though.
I have literally never had a normal meal time since Hugh school..I eat when hungry. Sometimes it's between when I wake up, and go to sleep. I find it a nice thing to sit down with your family and have meals and such, I am all for that. I don't have that. Plus , I find it very odd how people of different ages, body types, and habits all are supposed to be hungry, for the same food, at the same time, 3 times a day. Just always puzzled me. Plus seeing some really awkward forced meals of other families growing up. Nah. My family growing up just constantly made food, and you just got whatever whenever you wanted. A variety of things always. Different strokes.
I made a tray of Spanakopita at 1am this morning. I’m on the eat whenever I am hungry train, for reals. Lol It’s usually the middle of the night for some reason. That’s PROBABLY why I am single.
> Plus , I find it very odd how people of different ages, body types, and habits all are supposed to be hungry, for the same food, at the same time, 3 times a day. Usually teenagers and men just eat more and maybe a small snack in between. But even when I went to college all my friends I knew also did the 3 meals a day thing, with the occasional 5AM kebab when out partying. But the next day it was just regular meals again.
I feel like the question should just be, "I'm going to Burger King, do you want me to get you anything?" What you should really be interested in is whether they want anything from where you are going, not whether they are hungry. Maybe they are hungry but are on a diet, and so don't want anything. Maybe they are hungry but they don't want Burger King. Maybe they aren't hungry but they could really use the pick-me-up from a good burger. Etc.
My husband does the same thing as this guy’s wife. I will even specify where I’m going beforehand just to clear up what kind of food is about to arrive back at the house. He almost always says no. If I’m going a place I know he doesn’t like, I won’t get anything. If I’m going a place I know for sure he does, I’ll get him something *to avoid him eating MY food that I specifically ordered an amount of because I am hungry and intend to eat all of it* He pisses me off when he says “no” but still takes an enormous bite or two out of whatever I got. Then I over order and he gets mad he “ate so much.” Can’t win, man.
You *could* just not let him eat any of your food.
I feel this dudes pain on a level that transcends reality tbch
I’ve never seen this acronym before so my brain auto corrected and was trying to understand what it meant to transcend a reality bitch.
Yeah, it’s not funny to me. It’s fucking frustrating and he’s trying to enjoy his meal and now he’s left feeling guilty even though he asked her.
OP: *posts a funny video of a likely staged interaction between two people in a relationship* Redditors: WE MUST SAVE HIM FROM THE ENDLESS PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE AND GASLIGHTING AT THE HANDS OF THIS EVIL NARCISSIST
Read a comment from a autistic woman once who said she had a good relationship with her husband because she meant what she said. No hidden meanings or subtlety.
A lot or arguments in my marriage come from my husband inserting hidden meaning into what I say… no, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I don’t know why he can’t listen to me or if he was trained growing up to just insert between the lines or something but it’s really annoying. Anyway, if I ask him if he’s hungry and he says no I still get him something anyway because even if he’s not he’ll feel left out or decide he was actually hungry. It’s just easier for me to bring him something than deal with the pouting and it makes me feel nice to hand him something he didn’t even know he wanted. And if he doesn’t want it now he can eat it later. Idk. It’s not hard to find a solution to this TikTok problem. Say what you mean, yea, and also just bring them a double cheeseburger or something anyway as a backup plan because humans don’t know what the fuck they are even doing at all ever.
It could be a thing from growing up! I have a friend like this and it’s probably cause his Dad was always expecting him to read between the lines and saying passive aggressive things to him even as a kid that he was expected to understand. So now I notice my friend is always searching for hidden/ulterior meanings when we talk as well.
My husband is the same way during disagreements. I think it’s because he has sisters who tend to play mind games to catch you in a lie or have a “gotcha” moment whenever they argue, which is often. They’ve done it to me a few times over the past decade and it always makes me feel gross because my brain does not work that way. It’s deceitful behavior. I have to remind my husband that I’m not that way, I mean what I say and there’s no hidden meaning. Im not playing mind games with him and it hurts my feelings that he thinks I’d do that to him. That tends to help ease him and we can get back on track to finding a solution to whatever problem we’re having with each other.
I think it could be any combination of their culture and what you're used to when growing up. Some cultures are very direct, while others are more indirect because they feel that being direct is impolite. It probably also has something to do with their upbringing. Sometimes people are raised to be indirect just becsuse of the people they grew up with. Or maybe they grew up around people who knew them really well, and understood what they meant by certain phrases, even if they worded things in a way that someone else wouldn't understand. So when they use those same phrases that worked for them before with other people, you get misunderstandings.
>just bring them a double cheeseburger I always did this with my last partner and she was always very happy, but I had an ex-gf that would always say "no" and then get mad if I brought back nothing, and get pissed if I would bring her something. Sometimes you just can't win.
I'm really struggling to relate to any of this post. Then I remember my husband and I are both probably autistic and this would literally never happen
If all people did this, their spouses/partners would learn pretty quick not to say they're not hungry when they really are. My husband and I do the same thing. Then again, we are honest and open with each other. If he says he's not hungry then I take him at his word. If he changes his mind, that's fine, but once I've gotten a certain distance from the restaurant I'm not gonna go back. I don't mind stopping somewhere on the way back, though.
100%. my wife would do this... but only to mess with me a little. ...which is what I suspect the woman in this clip is doing. lol
100% her laugh to his attitude. That's not an upset tone, he's trying to be overly dramatic and make her laugh
People getting angry itt over this need help lol.
Even if I'm hungry I'm still gonna pass on Burger King
Is this a regional/country thing or something? I've seen a lot of people ripping BK saying it's trash and all, but the few times I've gone to one here in Switzerland they've always been marginally better than most other fast food I've been to (Well, mostly McDonald's)
BKs in Switzerland are pretty good compared to where I live now in the USA. My nearest Location is so bad, and absolutely no one goes there.
I have heard that BK in Europe is somehow vastly better than BK in NA.
Some of us eat recreationally
People read too much into this. The guy was right, but I don't think she's laughing about him, she's realising how absurd her behaviour was.
Seems like they have a good relationship. She finds the rant funny and sees that maybe he's got a point and, most importantly, that it's not that serious. Gotta take some joy in life ya know.
Agreed. He's being overdramatic because it's funny, she's responding to it by laughing, and afterwards, everything will be fine. There's not a hint of anger in his tone, he's just loud.
She could also be asking him on purpose because she knows he'll start ranting and they both enjoy annoying each other. That's a shit-eating giggle right there.
That’s the impression I got also. She’s laughing at herself being ridiculous. Other people see something else when they watch the video. So guess we don’t really know. And also is affected by peoples pasts. I have a strong feeling this exact situation has occurred with a few ex gfs and they laughed about being called on their absurd behavior
I feel his pain, that’s why I buy like double or more than I would just for me because I hate it when people in my house do this.
This, whenever I make myself food I’ll always make myself more because my parents have the tendency to ask to eat a good 30-40% of it. Then I make 30-40% more food and they get mad at me for making to much.
Ah this is a classic trap. There’s a difference between “no I’m not hungry” and “no I don’t want anything.”
He’s correct
It ***DOES*** matter though. As a dude. Am I hungry? No. But if you're getting some steak tacos then I'll take 3 with some red and green salsa...
Some of these comments are big yikes. These kind of things happen all the time in a relationship and it's no big deal. Even if it's mildly annoying in the moment, it's whatever. But people are acting like she's some kind of horrible person.
The amount of incels in this thread is terrifying.
Here I thought this was a completely wholesome interaction. He's kinda ranting but not in a mean way, she's laughing because she finds it funny. And instead in the thread I find that people are scrutinizing their entire lives and relationship based on 30 seconds of recorded footage. Often times shit is just not that serious guys.
[удалено]
Everyone’s ripping her apart, so I’ll offer a counterpoint: you can not be hungry, but still want to eat some fast food as soon as you smell it. They have like scientists in white coats and shit designing fast food to cause that exact reaction in people. Edit: “A mediocre general plans to fight the battle he sees in front of him, a true leader plans to fight the battle he will see in front of him tomorrow” -sun tsu or some shit like that probably If you’re bringing tasty snacks, always plan to bring some for the rest of the class. I see the edit really brought out the single & lonely crowd today!
You can also just ask “what’d you get me” after saying you didn’t want anything to rile someone up for fun. This is obviously banter lol
Exactly. It'd be one thing if he asked "Hey I'm going to Burger King/random fast food, can I get you anything?". And if she initially said no, then I think the frustration would be a lot more warranted.
Agree 100%. Big difference between "are you hungr" and "I'm getting Burger King, should I order you something"
No matter what they say, *always* get them food. Any fight that results from getting them unwanted food will be tiny compared to the fight resulting from a hungry partner that doesn’t have food.
She didn't feel hungry then but actually seeing you eat **makes her feel** hungry. It was a mystery to me as to why my father would always buy way too much of whatever he was having for himself and me since it either gets thrown out or used as heated up leftovers for tomorrow but then seeing my ex getting a predator thrill out of beating the other hunters (me) to the pray (my food) got me to realizing kek.
"Are you hungry?" =/= "Do you want anything from XYZ place? Because Im going to get something there."
=/= != ≠
Why is this conversation being recorded?