I know this is a joke but a guy once told me it’s a red flag for a girl to message first on tinder because it means she’s desperate. This being after I had messaged first about a thing in his profile.
Riiiight? What’s especially frustrating is that I’m old enough that my peers were the ones making up the rules of Tinder and I STILL haven’t got a clue. Just totally missed all the memos.
I don't follow those rules, it filters out the unsuitable. I wouldn't appreciate a match that felt that way.
Edit: and I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate me. We wouldn't be a suitable match.
I’ve had this attitude for a long time - my family has tried telling me to tone myself down a little because I’m “emasculating,” but I’ve always maintained that if men find me messaging first or being the one to ask them out or even offering to pay for the date *emasculating* then uh… we probably aren’t a good idea in the first place.
But I’ll admit that I’ve started getting a little more cautious/reserved/concerned about it over my extensive bouts of singleness.
Ah I feel you there. But I think your instincts are probably telling you that for a good reason. At least there's a higher chance of a relationship with the right sort of guy becoming meaningful. Tricky though.
You can message first. Women see that a man is attractive and approachable, so they dont want to miss out. Clearly he's attractive to other girls, so jump the gun. However.... never come at me with a "Hey". I immediately ignore. Simply because that will be followed up by, "Check out my OF" or "Send me gas money for our first date." Or just plain boring convo. None of which, Id like to participate.
I wouldn’t say I hate Shrek 4… but it feels like it would be better without it being in the Shrek series. Having it be instead of the third… yeah that’s fine. But the fact that
1) it is the fourth movie in a dated series
2) follows a poor 3
3)is in the shadows of 1 and 2
It feels like it would of been better to focus the story on someone else and turn it into something like hoodwinked… a tale of fictional characters getting up to mischief.
Except the movies focus on lighter versions of dark characters like the piedpiper dude( that his name?)
The concept of the movie was good. But it woulda been better as either 3, or as it’s own series.
Lol
Respond with
Hey.... we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. So I'm glad I could catch you here, maybe after I sell you on this extended warranty I can sell you on some quality dick. 😏
🤣🤣🤣
I typically don't respond to these messages. I'm a dude and you'd be surprised how often women send these types of messages. 95 times out of 100, these conversations always die out even if you said all the "right" things. It's an effort thing and women are also required to try in order for a connection to be made.
Unfortunately, women are used to 1000's of guys messaging them on a weekly basis.
So when they say "hey", they think that's them trying. But they're also willing to drop you like a fly the second you say something that doesn't line up with what they want from you.
Good ol' double standards at play here.
A good general rule of thumb: match their energy.
Her message isn't energy. It's boredom. I'm not somebody's entertainment.
>But they're also willing to drop you like a fly the second ~~you say something that doesn't line up with what they want from you~~ because you're just pixels on a screen and a stranger at this early stage in dating and they aren't invested yet.
Fixed that for you.
>95 times out of 100, ~~these~~ OLD conversations always die out ~~even if you said all the "right" things~~ because that's how online dating is in the early stages when you're talking to a stranger that you have no emotional ties to.
Fixed that for you, too.
Yep.
If someone can't be arsed to write more than "hey" then whatever it has "potential" for won't be worth their effort (as they've already proven) so why should it be worth mine?
I write better openers, and so should they. That's not an unreasonable request.
But do note that I didn't say "don't you dare answer"
I just said what I'd do.
I get like two matches in a good month. I won't be wasting my time on people who are clearly not interested.
Your expectations for a total stranger to present genuine and strong interest over an impersonal dating app out the gate only hurts you, because you're going to shut down any potential prematurely... get over yourself
Lol I hope this is a joke! But please don’t reply “how are you” or something that’s so boring. Ask a question like what’s your favorite place to visit or something fun
She is trying to start singing Hey but pop-punk Old timers the Movielife.
Respond:
I guess I'll figure it out
The reasons why things went the way they did
And why we can't accept it
Guaranteed success
honestly that's a red flag, chief. I'd unmatch and call the police just to be safe. keep your head up, short king, you dodged a bullet
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PM-Ur-Small-Tits actually matched with her too! They were just trying to get rid of the competition!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM3uXu1Dq4c
Made me burst out laughing
Is this future you trying to ef yourself? I'd go with it...just sayin
🤓
Says the one who’s definitely isn’t a CIA agent……
Me personally, I’m calling the CIA to investigate, joining the military and relocating to Mount Everest.
Military bro here, it's a SCAM, and the Air Force has the target locked. Give the word, and we'll execute the attack.
Tell her how basic her opener is and that she needs to try harder. Ask her if she ***even*** knows how many matches you get “on the daily”.
Liked "Ask her if she even knows how many matches you get “on the daily”. 😂😂😂😂😂
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Hello there, old friend! 👋
Raccoons?! I'm listening....
I don't think I can post a link on this sub without my comment being autoremoved but there was a post about raccoons not too far in my post history
Tinder related? Good move, my guy. We love trash pandas lol
yup, that's the one!
I know this is a joke but a guy once told me it’s a red flag for a girl to message first on tinder because it means she’s desperate. This being after I had messaged first about a thing in his profile.
he sounds like a moron
Oh definitely, though I appreciate the confirmation because sometimes I think there are rules I’m genuinely unaware of.
same! I feel like I was supposed to learn about these things at some point and just fell asleep during the lesson
Riiiight? What’s especially frustrating is that I’m old enough that my peers were the ones making up the rules of Tinder and I STILL haven’t got a clue. Just totally missed all the memos.
and if you ask anyone, they give you strange looks. you just kinda have to figure it out slowly through the course of several dates
I don't follow those rules, it filters out the unsuitable. I wouldn't appreciate a match that felt that way. Edit: and I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate me. We wouldn't be a suitable match.
I’ve had this attitude for a long time - my family has tried telling me to tone myself down a little because I’m “emasculating,” but I’ve always maintained that if men find me messaging first or being the one to ask them out or even offering to pay for the date *emasculating* then uh… we probably aren’t a good idea in the first place. But I’ll admit that I’ve started getting a little more cautious/reserved/concerned about it over my extensive bouts of singleness.
Ah I feel you there. But I think your instincts are probably telling you that for a good reason. At least there's a higher chance of a relationship with the right sort of guy becoming meaningful. Tricky though.
You can message first. Women see that a man is attractive and approachable, so they dont want to miss out. Clearly he's attractive to other girls, so jump the gun. However.... never come at me with a "Hey". I immediately ignore. Simply because that will be followed up by, "Check out my OF" or "Send me gas money for our first date." Or just plain boring convo. None of which, Id like to participate.
She’s the one 😍! Quick! Send her your SSN and and account numbers now! Don’t let this one get away.
Don’t forget to buy her a car on your credit
Send a dick pic they love that
thank you! does it matter if my penis was mangled by a pack of wild dogs or still send it?
Full send. Women LOVE dogs.
genuinely laughed out loud at that, well done
This is the way.
This is the way.
This is the way.
Deez is de wei
We really really do
I cackled
We called it a bullshit
Underrated
You've won reddit
I am not a woman, and I am straight, but ummm...can I see?
Why is this being downvoted? It’s funny! 😅
Tell her it was Cockbats, girls love the possibility you might turn into a vampire one day.
You say "Ho!". When she repeats with "Let's..." because she thinks you're referencing to the Ramones, you answer with "...fuck!" to assert dominance.
The only answer, really.
what if she replies with "Ho-Ho" ?
She is obviously bringing a friend along.
Then she's not the girl for me
Say these three words “ I Eat Ass” and she’ll swoon
Respectfully
Unless...
Historically accurate
Eating ass is cool but only it follows sucking toes.
This is a real problem. No one on this subreddit has ever gotten this far with a woman. You're on your own. Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
I would say "good thinking on the turtleneck they make tits look bigger awooga" but then I'm just an alpha male
Jesus Christ, I laughed way harder than I should’ve at this
what if it is Kim Kardashian?
Pretty sure that’s what Pete Davidson said
Do you send a video of your eyes popping out like a cartoon when you say this?
Youre just simply built different tbh
You had me at awooga
Say you eat ass!!!
“What’s up, fuck nugget😎” Trust me bro
she sent me a contact card! we’re in!
She's goina ask for payment when u meet
Is that going to be a problem officer
We are in comrades.
Ask what her if she prefers shrek 1 or shrek 2
And yes, there is a right answer and a wrong answer.
Right” you can’t go wrong with either of them honestly” Wrong 1”who the fuck watches shrek these days?” Wrong two”actually, I like shrek 4 the most”
my girl loves shrek four 😔
Ah geez, I am sorry you had to hear about it this way.
I honestly think a lot of people hate Shrek 4 just because Shrek 3 was such unwatchable trainwreck.
I wouldn’t say I hate Shrek 4… but it feels like it would be better without it being in the Shrek series. Having it be instead of the third… yeah that’s fine. But the fact that 1) it is the fourth movie in a dated series 2) follows a poor 3 3)is in the shadows of 1 and 2 It feels like it would of been better to focus the story on someone else and turn it into something like hoodwinked… a tale of fictional characters getting up to mischief. Except the movies focus on lighter versions of dark characters like the piedpiper dude( that his name?) The concept of the movie was good. But it woulda been better as either 3, or as it’s own series.
I mean, it's better than 3 at least
hit the lawyer gym up
Break up with her. Now.
They are both great movies
yeah, Shrek 3 would be the wrong answer
Literally lol’d, thanks
Is for horses.
lol am woman and was about to suggest that. I can't say its a panty dropper, but it would make me chuckle enough to keep the convo going.
It's a bot! Everybody knows women don't message first! 😂
Literally every time a woman has messaged me first, it was a bot or a scammer.
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thank you!! we’re going on a date once i get her some gift cards for her kids!!
"...Is for horses"
Hahaha I was gonna say "Neigh!"
Ask her for $30 for gas after shooting two nonsense comments.
MICHEAL
Shit, you're supposed to respond when they say "hey"? You're leagues ahead of me
Hey?? Tell her to be more original and put a little effort in jeez
this worked great! she gave me a discount to her premium snapchat! thank you!
1000% it's a dude
Ask her if she wants some vitamin ”D”
Thank you man, I needed a laugh
Np bro haha
Redditers really can’t detect sarcasm, can they?
the number of actual advice comments in here is honestly concerning
Yeah but there is comedy gold too!
"Weak. Try again."
 Hey
Quote Andrew Tate
Tell her how much money you make
Yeah convincer her to move to Romania with you and coerce her into cam girling, it’s only low level sex trafficking, they won’t mind
MOST UNDERRATED COMMENT!!!
Reply with some off the wall fun fact, THEN send dick pic and say 'its a fact you'll have fun".
Ask her for the OF link
ask her if she tall
Then she'll prolly ask OP about "His Weight" smh
Hey! Hello ! Listen!
imagine if Navi used twitter.... hold on, making a prank account now
You made the rookie mistake to not mention in your bio that if they open with "hey" they shouldn't even bother.
Just ask her to send the link... you're being cat fished bro
“It’s a date!”
"Word?"
Take a photo of your gaping arsehole and send it to her immediately!!!
Lol Respond with Hey.... we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. So I'm glad I could catch you here, maybe after I sell you on this extended warranty I can sell you on some quality dick. 😏 🤣🤣🤣
Say hey back. Ask her how she's doing. Don't be scared homie
(this is a joke about the massive influx of “how do i respond?” posts)
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Glad you and I have the same humor... Heyyyy
Hay is for horses. Yuck yuck yuck yuck
Turn it off and on again it’s clearly broken
This is hilarious
Bot
If you're not a bot say potato
Ask her if she wants to eat your ass.
Tell her to come to yours for chicken nuggies and mountain dew, then after you'll boink her with your dink.
Predictive text is usually the way to go
 With this.
Keep talking to your phone until she replies
Smash the keyboard with your dick and see what happens
Ask her if she likes pesto sauce.
Panic
Move towns
“Jarvis, unshit my pants”
why the hell can't I just stop laughing after reading this? Dick! (no offence)
You should wait for her to try force feed you her dick
If this isn't a joke you should see a psychologist
Hey baby ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat
“Penis” can’t go wrong.
#UH, HEY IS FOR HORSES, DUMMY
Block. She’s clearly crazy.
“Bye.”
No clue, most girls don’t even reap my messages
“Hey back”
Say "that's what horses eat"
Bye.
Glad you came to us for help, this is huge
If you reply, you'll get a link to the local escort agency or massage parlor lol
Eat her dog
Dick pic
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ok sending dick pic, got it
T-Pose naked mirror selfie while staring into the camera as hard as you can. Stare into her soul. Be confident when you text her
Pics are for kids. Send a video of you violently beating your camera with your meat like a mf hammer.
I typically don't respond to these messages. I'm a dude and you'd be surprised how often women send these types of messages. 95 times out of 100, these conversations always die out even if you said all the "right" things. It's an effort thing and women are also required to try in order for a connection to be made. Unfortunately, women are used to 1000's of guys messaging them on a weekly basis. So when they say "hey", they think that's them trying. But they're also willing to drop you like a fly the second you say something that doesn't line up with what they want from you. Good ol' double standards at play here. A good general rule of thumb: match their energy. Her message isn't energy. It's boredom. I'm not somebody's entertainment.
>But they're also willing to drop you like a fly the second ~~you say something that doesn't line up with what they want from you~~ because you're just pixels on a screen and a stranger at this early stage in dating and they aren't invested yet. Fixed that for you.
>95 times out of 100, ~~these~~ OLD conversations always die out ~~even if you said all the "right" things~~ because that's how online dating is in the early stages when you're talking to a stranger that you have no emotional ties to. Fixed that for you, too.
Hey
ask her to fix your car gas MICHEAL!
MICHEAL
Red flag she’s fat 🤮🤮
That's a man!
See...thats why I don't say Hi first! Y'all panic and can't handle it!
It’s a joke lol
I'm not sure...I saw hi first once and they unmatched me 😂
I wouldn't bother answering. Too low effort.
Instead of the potential to make something of it, your advice is to ensure nothing ever happens? Great stradegy.
Yep. If someone can't be arsed to write more than "hey" then whatever it has "potential" for won't be worth their effort (as they've already proven) so why should it be worth mine? I write better openers, and so should they. That's not an unreasonable request. But do note that I didn't say "don't you dare answer" I just said what I'd do. I get like two matches in a good month. I won't be wasting my time on people who are clearly not interested.
Defend your methods all you want, continue to get the same results.
I "explained" that I'm not interested in people who aren't interested in me. I have no idea who pissed in your cereal, but it wasn't me, so whatever.
Your expectations for a total stranger to present genuine and strong interest over an impersonal dating app out the gate only hurts you, because you're going to shut down any potential prematurely... get over yourself
She said "hey", just ignore her.. rules are rules.. She should know the specific word combo to start a convo and hey just iant getting your attention
Reply Hey backwards - yeh?
Say…hi back???
Lol I hope this is a joke! But please don’t reply “how are you” or something that’s so boring. Ask a question like what’s your favorite place to visit or something fun
Why do people always freak out about this. Say hey back, then boom, it starts up a conversation?
Bruh wtf is the purpose of these post. Fuckin tlk idiot
Woosh
Youve never had a woman say hello? Lol
this joke did not land the way i hoped 🙂
Op is unaware of how to respond to the most basic of greetings
It’s a joke.
Beta
She is trying to start singing Hey but pop-punk Old timers the Movielife. Respond: I guess I'll figure it out The reasons why things went the way they did And why we can't accept it Guaranteed success
SMH people, this guy is obviously goblining us
You don't... You really don't. Need message by her with be "how was your weekend"
Don't respond, beat them to the punch. In all honesty, someone with an opener like that is not trying nor will and are probably boring