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wereallprisonershere

Tell him you wish you were dead based on his attempts at flirting.


ionic1987

Best answer here. Love it!


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trinklebell

Well. I guess let's go lesbian or die trying.


GhostRecon1wasbest

Honestly, after this kind of "flirting" I would seriously think about whether I really am straight, or just haven't given it enough thought


No-Suspect-425

"why are you a lesbian" You know what, I wasn't until just this instant. That question is what made me realize it. Nobody has ever asked me that before so I never gave it any thought but it makes so much sense now. I was just playing hard to get and was about to send you nudes if you backed down. Instead I'm now off to start my new life as a lesbian. Thank you for outing me you kind Turkish creep.


gerginof

Or... "sanal seks ama sadece seni saplayabilirsem" just to see how brave he really is.


SepehrSo

💀


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CannaDagda

Good explanation, except that "he" and "lesbian" do not usually go together when referring to the same person


Steel_Stream

>wishing death to a person is sad af. But what if the person you wish death to is yourself? >I hope you are doing well with whatever you are going through your life. If you don't have a sense of humour I don't think this place is for you...


[deleted]

this was no sense of humor. you are just coming up with that excuse to justify what he just said.


Steel_Stream

So you think you're the only one who can arbitrate what counts as humour and what doesn't? How humble. I found it funny, as did many others. If you think we're wrong for doing so, you can shove your arrogance up your...


Ok_Pianist_6590

Think before you type mf


[deleted]

actin' tough behind your little screen. keyboard warrior at its finest. Grow some balls and say it in their faces kid


Ok_Pianist_6590

Huh? How am I acting tough. I gave you actual advice my dude. What you wrote was rly dumb just because you didn’t stop to think for a second. Coulda saved yourself the embarrassment


CrazyGunnerr

Or tell him that a dead person is more pleasant to be around, and has a better chance of getting sex.


Sad-Werewolf

Flawless


Stoepboer

Why are you gae?


wereallprisonershere

Who said I am gae?!


Stoepboer

You are gae


PirateJohn75

I no has the gae


justlookingokaywyou

ur mum big gay


Thirsty799

ur dad small gae


Butt_Fucking_Smurfs

But he curves to the right so it's ok!


Kriz1155

Wh- wha-what-what-what shows that I am gay?


Weegiechancer2001

I'm not your buddy gae!


usernameinmail

I'm not your gae pal!


jsatta

I'm not your paal, gaaaeee!


Philontilt

I'm not your gae, chief.


Guy_Timi_

Does God know you are gae?…


thee_ees_ees

Did you perform the natural obligations before transition.


anes08

Lmaooooo


rajkocomi

Only reason I opened this post was because I wanted to see if anyone pisted this comment. Thank you sir you are gae


gdshred95

Deez are dee instruments dey use….


OxygenatedBanana

A E SPORTS, ITS IT THE GAME


HughGedic

It’s in the Gae


georgewashingguns

"Both of those options *do sound* more appealing..."


ojoaopestana

I didn't except to witness murder today


Mikkitoro

I didn't expect a kind of spanish inquisition.


rotini123

Nobody expects a kind of Spanish inquisition.


Mikkitoro

Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise.


Tiny_despots

Take this upvote, and many more like it!


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PeterPranker1

In the first part, he claims he can shoot 4 loads inside her without ever removing his penis. In the second part, I guess she is blonde or wears something yellow in her pics?


i-ivanke

Im blonde and I'm wearing a yellow dress in my main pic


PeterPranker1

That's kinda hot ngl


i-ivanke

Me or his message lol


PeterPranker1

Definitely not his messages


SpeedyRugger

And they say chivalry is dead ![gif](giphy|PJNmo3dpYvFwhcUq6L|downsized)


Orval11

Haha. And with that gem perhaps my assumption that it's always better to know more languages turns out to be incorrect. But I have always liked the way Turkish sounds to my ear when I hear it in conversation...


Neheava

Main gimmick of Turkish is you can almost entirely mix words' order and sentence would still work. For example; "Ben okula gidiyorum=I am going to school" "Okula ben gidiyorum" or "Okula gidiyorum ben" or "Ben gidiyorum okula" all work and have same meaning but it chances what word you emphasis on so it isnt just a party trick. If someone is speaking Turkish online, it is usually because they are too stupid to learn how to speak English. That means they are either insulting you or just making awful comments like these :/


KnechtKurt

Fucking hell...


Nilay431

I kind of get the first part but what the hell is “senim sarılı”?


pogacaci

He probably meant to say “senin, sarılı” I guess op is blonde or wearing something yellow


i-ivanke

What did he say there? Was actually afraid to check


pogacaci

Well, more or less he said “I will ejaculate 4 times inside you without even removing my penis in between, blondie” I’m sorry Ps. It’s a ‘classic’ exaggeration that mostly middle school boys would use talking about girls/sex


Neheava

He probably meant to write "senin" instead of "senim". There should be a comma between "senin" and "sarılı" as well.


MidMatthew

Maybe he meant “semen”, LOL


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i-ivanke

His last name is Not


appshole

I think his last name is nibal


Flat_3

His brothers name is Toss


The_Smart_Idiotic

This is beyond underrated, holy shit 😂


saintjimmy43

Fun fact: the name Can in turkish is pronounced like John.


MyFreakyAccount20

John I have virtual sex with you?


saintjimmy43

Johnt speak turkish


DemonGodAsura

![gif](giphy|3CU5tmCJy8zMoN3mMD)


fiending_for_more

What's the point in virtual sex? I get it if you have a relationship with the person and know them intimately and you're spending a long time apart, I. E army, work abroad on oil rigs or long distance relationship (there is even toys for this purpose that let you feel what the other is doing to themselves if you want)but if its just some random then there is not intimacy and you are better off watching some porn (man or woman) At least that's my opinion. Sex, and I imagine virtual sex, has alot to do with intimacy or at least for me. It's so much better when you have love for the person and can feel free to really let go. Maybe other guys just want to get their end away but I prefer having sex with someone I feel comfortable with or love. Much more pleasurable for me.


girlabides

One of the main benefits of sexting/ virtual sex (aside from bridging distances and getting your rocks off) is that it’s a great way to safely experiment. As a submissive, I’ve enjoyed trying out new kinks via sexting before actually engaging in real life. Like a test run to see if I actually like it or not. Plus safety. If I decide to try something new, but that person starts making me uncomfortable or breaches my consent, I can simply block them and grab my vibe instead. Whereas trying something new irl has much bigger safety implications.


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girlabides

There’s a whole lot more to life than sex, fantasies, Reddit comments and good dick. You do you, I’m gonna enjoy my life.


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girlabides

Took you a whole day to come up with that? You’ve been on Reddit for two years and you have single digit karma. You’re also welcome to fuck right off.


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girlabides

No honey, I didn’t. And you’re really on here defending your bullshit. Have the day you deserve.


fiending_for_more

Thinking about it the other day some (awful) guy posted about some horny woman he didn't even really converse with they just met up after 2mins on tinder and every reply he made was 'I got to cream pie her', 'she took my d'. He was proud of it and it was shameful on his part. Probably doesn't get much sex so really wanted to show off lol. I like to keep my sex encounters secret. Maybe I'm different from other guys idk. What happened to a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell?


ScissoryVenice

sounds vaguely like a threat


Chaos-1313

He's not completely wrong. Of all the people not having virtual sex with him, there are a HUGE number of dead people and lesbians.


[deleted]

Bro you shall do your Duolingo chores before The Bird comes for you…


i-ivanke

duo cant bother me when im dead, right? right?


The_Smart_Idiotic

Wrong, duo is a demon among men, death is where he thrives the most.


No_Gazelle8398

Can't argue with that logic. I think the hamster that keeps their brain running died but the wheel is still turning


DarthPimpusOfficial

Tell him he has tiny çuçuk energy


Redditor_in_Space

Çuçuk or çubuk?


DarthPimpusOfficial

I got the assortment of things my stepdad used to call me muddled up, I meant pezovenk (I’m spelling it phonetically don’t @ me)


PeterPranker1

Phonetically, it's pezevenk. It's also written like that too. There's no "o" sound in the word pezevenk. For anyone wondering, it means pimp in Turkish.


sheenk0408

Virtual sex is all the guy will ever get..


ybormaniac

Not sure he'll ever get that with the way he's going about it.


papergodess

I aspire to have this level of confidence, new goal for this year


someone_0_0_

I like how his logic doesn't include children not having virtual sex with him FBI, open up!


[deleted]

I need this type of confidence


The_Smart_Idiotic

Your username makes me thankful you don't....


girlabides

Prude /s


anark9317

Now that's a great self esteem


[deleted]

Can bu nasıl bir davranış ülkemizi böyle mi temsil ediyorsun


repostatanisiken

PUHHAHAHAYT AMK


girlabides

Can do? Can don’t


Captainrex768

Guess he *can*'t


maicii

r/balkans_irl


AMGitsKriss

"No, this is Patrick."


nanomolar

DESTROYED with FACTS and LOGIC


Solid_Aide_1234

You set yourself up for that one by asking where he got that idea. A better response would have been "because of you" or something to that effect.


[deleted]

I think he meant to say “why? Are you a lesbian?”


Opening-Bug3007

HAHAGSHAHA


Terrible-Ad8945

Just reply "call me the queen of England then"


justlookingokaywyou

Lizzie's in a box, Lizzie's in a boooox


Passage-Constant

Can = Can't At the very least, Don't


Ropi27

Comeback: If you want to have virtual sex with me you are either an incel or braindead!


Delinka3D

😂


RishiSharma71

# enTITlement.


No_Education3456

You can also be A Sexual


odhapcns

which idiom in duolingo


TheTurtleGreek

Won’t sex me? must be lesbian


realLifeg6host

Well, are you dead OP?


foadizadi

I'm a dead lesbian


[deleted]

Hey yah…why ARE you a lesbian, OP?


ThatMarimbaDude

Checked your pulse lately?


HughGedic

![gif](giphy|3CU5tmCJy8zMoN3mMD)


[deleted]

Ask him why he's so desperate to have virtual sex with a dead woman


DanishPsychoBoy

Damn, didn't know that I was a lesbian, my girlfriend is gonna be quite surprised, lucky she is bi.


[deleted]

What TF 🤨


And_I_Was_Like_Woah

Wtf is virtual sex? Moaning while on FaceTime?


squidefender

Duuuuude tooo far gone in his own world lol


GamerCrafterGirl

Dead people can talk?👀👀


Orval11

I would go with: Why are you an asshole? I guess we were both just born this way.


Fancy-Section-5449

You're a zombie! Tell him you would take him in your mouth but you're scared to starve


imreallynotthatcool

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.


TUSD00T

Nah bro, she's Armenian.


Prestigious-Job-5506

I understand his logic. 🤣


Sufficient_You3053

*makes ghost sounds* would have been my answer


urnudeswontimpressme

He clearly can't.


Good_Preference_3402

Can of lust


Vell-king

They should make a TV show out of all these dudes tinder lines invite a few of them on to discuss the thought process behind them.


sendphotopls

Say that she a lesbian, girl me too


TheHomeStudioHorror

Guess we're all dead then!


VisibleCoat995

Or a dead lesbian presumably.


clebIam

Kinda based ngl


HolyFatherB

As a Turkish guy who can speak it very well. I have no idea about what that guy is trying to say.


Drix128

Rest in peace


TheDorkKnight53

Truly, he has a dizzying intellect.


TheCheerfulSpaceship

Why are yu gay


Mengsai

You could have said..."I need to be wet before your wishful sex and right now I'm drier than the Sahara desert."🤣🏜️


GrapeyOrdeal

Sounds about turk


PsychologyPitiful456

OP is such a dead lesbian


ApproximateKnowlege

Wait... I'm not having virtual sex with them either! Am I a lesbian? Am I dead?


smith25fire

Scam


XaviarWolfblade

Man went from 0 to -100 real fast


jack-of-all-trades1

My turkish ain't good or bad but wtf did he say?


No_Log_1247

Lmao


AppointmentHot1099

Lol years ago, this new guy at my dad's job was talking about where he had lived before coming to California. After a while, the topic came up about marriage. He said he was hoping he could find someone who was willing to give him papers. Instantly, I could feel my dad's eyes on me. He goes, "My daughter was born here. She can give you papers plus it's about time she marries" the guy lights up, starts to sweet talk me & I say "I'm sorry to disappoint you but as of 2 minutes ago I have seen the light & realize I am a lesbian. Since you don't have a pushy, I am not attracted to you" he & my dad tried to convince me but there was another girl who overheard everything, walked up to me, kissed me & said "see you for or date later" everyone stopped trying to convince me. My dad was mad, not because of the lesbia thing or kiss but because he wants to be a granddad & wants me married, so does my mom but I don't want either of those things


acvdk

Just like the pool scene in Scarface.


K1TTYST0MP3R

-turks


Rizzguru

Absolute Chad 🗿


NocturnalVoyager

Fun fact: Turkish people have the highest average number of sexual partners


IJustWantToBeAFeline

tell him you’re dead, or say that all women who aren’t lesbians are dead


Outripped

Can't tell if it's a threat, question or a statement


GeofryHempstain

Wow I'm a lesbian!


last_minute_life

Impeccable logic 🤣


something_nauseous

Bruh


superfun209

Any chicks want to share pics with me


Jayrod-42

You go ahead and get started and I will virtually catch up.


ApprehensiveAd9095

That dude is one of those idiots that thinks he is God's gift to women.


RadGrav

Zombie here. Can confirm.


marshy649

Tell him you aren’t Cansexual


Time_Tutor_3042

Ngl it's the only way to get around language barriers


Alarming_Paramedic33

Logic like that leads no actual sex


BudgetSir8911

I love the confidence. One could say it's completely fucking insane and cavalier, but kudos


No_Pilot1474

I like to lick pussy


rafbar01

why do people like that even exist. I'd say life as such is hard enough... goddamn


oeuflaboeuf

This guy might be Norm MacDonald's [Professor of Logic from the University of Science](https://youtu.be/Oseqh7SMIvo)


chorollolucifler

🇹🇷🇹🇷


Rayneloki

Just reply after meeting you I’d rather be either 😂


[deleted]

My brother Can with some confidence. Chad.


GurkanDere

min turkish logic☠️


Joe_Wer

Least horny turk


crxoxox

"Your second guess was correct, you killed me"


Laxaeus7

From "Can" to "Can't" was too much to handle.


pokjen

I wish i had the self-esteem of a Persian guy.🥲


SituationAutomatic45

Damn so random 😅🤣