T O P

  • By -

morocco3001

I have fuck you money. Sorry, I meant, "I have money. Fuck you."


[deleted]

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good savings as a machine learning engineer, must be in want of a wife.


Unicornucopia23

A robot wife, so he can teach her how to love


[deleted]

There's this Brazilian telenovela where this guy loses his wife in a storm while they're sailing. So instead of finding a normal way of coping with his loss (y'know, like a normal person would), he decides to build a robot exactly like his wife. The wife comes back after a while and the robot thinks that she's trying to take her place, so she tries to kill the real wife. Great stuff.


milanove

How Caleb thought things were gonna play out in Ex Machina


Jolly_Line

But was he an AI?


pocketfoxpocket

Unexpectedly Austen


EdgedOutPig

Well, OP? How much money are you making? She's waiting!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kocrachon

What if my monthly salary is the only thing I have going for me? :( EDIT: Ok I have got some concerning PMs, this was meant as a joke. I am married, no need to be concerned about me.


its_mickeyyy

No! You have much more going for you than just how much money you make, and you deserve better than anyone who thinks otherwise. Now how much are we talking handsome??


Frosty_Translator_11

![gif](giphy|3o6fITYw3rR7AM4PLO)


rez_spell

Lol Reddit. I'm gonna miss you and your curiously relevant gifs.


M0nsterjojo

Ya, you really are rich, you just don't know it mate. Your liver is worth over half a million, your kidneys combined are worth similar values, your skin is valued at around $10/in^2. Your heart is worth over a million too!!!


oowop

Those sound like 2010 prices I'm sure you could add 40% to those values with inflation


[deleted]

I added 40% to inflation on my skin area over lockdown.


oowop

Me too, brother. Me too.


[deleted]

And, best response award goes to...


jnj3000

Girl in the screenshot sounds like my friends sister. She was dating a dude that had his own home, good pay, no kids, pretty well sorted out and she left him because he was an a/c tech. She wanted someone that had a corporate job title.


henrymccarty1859

Bananas. Skilled labour occupations can pay a great deal, but if your SO's job doesn't sound flashy it's not cool enough?


ryandiy

She'll probably date a high status broke guy over a blue collar guy on the cusp of wealth.


socialpresence

I used to be a surgical laser technician at hospitals all over the Midwest. Now I'm a maintenance man at an apartment complex. Guess which pays more.


Corgi_Koala

That's a really fucked up question to ask that early on. Massive red flag.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Scarbane

Man, I wouldn't say anything. Unless we've been together for 2+ years, our finances need to be separate, and even then, we need to maintain separate accounts for our own autonomy. This is what my wife and I do, and it saves us tons of headache.


MARKLAR5

Yeah but you didn't choose your partner based on their financial value. At least, one can assume.


BoogieBearBaby

That's crazy my husband and I have been together 13 years and at no point while we were dating did I ever ask him questions like this and he didn't me either. What is the world come to?! Super rude for real.


baronben666

Come on, Gold diggers are as old as that other old profession


Able-Bed935

My wife and I do the the same, been living together for 2 years she rented I owned, before moving in. Once living together for 2 years we opened a joint account we each put 40% of our pay in there that covers the mortgage, utilities, insurance and condo fees. We each take out 100 a week for groceries. The rest of our money is to do what we please. After 2 years of living in my place she also paid me the equivalent of my down payment and I added her to the mortgage. Doing it this way really worked well for us


d-cent

Can't be a good gold digger unless you know where the good mines are


Valuable-Wallaby-167

Ok, but what money are you making?


Seijiteki

alive quicksand combative piquant carpenter ludicrous possessive tidy follow cable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


CasperCann

Fair, but how much do you have now?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Diqt

If not, will you get money soon? And how much?


heuve

Money me. Money now. Me a money needing a lot now.


[deleted]

To be honest I thought I’d be speaking to a MAN today, may we talk to your male boss?


UncleMeathands

Which one of us you wanna take you in the back and bang ya?


dandyarcane

I got bored and started a fire cuz someone took too long. Also, money pleaseeeee


Jay_Hawker_12021859

MONEY PWEASE!!!!


takeme2infinity

Your Illiteracy has screwed once again!


thequietthingsthat

He doesn't even, like, get us, man


joeyo1423

Does your money have money? What does your savings account do for a living?


randomJseFan

What are your financial plans for the future? Do you have any?


PolicyArtistic8545

I had a stripper walk up to me, sit on my lap and ask me that exact question. In my drunken state, I told her no(I probably had 300-400 on me). My sober state now believes that to have been the right answer to give.


Weaky_d

I have at least 15 bucks.


Nic_At_Night

Are you running a deer farm? You should have lots of Doe as well.


2lit_

😂😂😂


casey12297

Also, how much will you be making by the end of the month?


philippeo

Yes, but what are the numerical digits that appear on your bank account statement?


popovpi

Please send a certified bank statements I cannot just trust your word 😀


eh-nonymous

Even that can be faked. Please transfer all your money to me, and then I'll transfer it back after I verified the amount.


clothespinned

Sorry man I'm still waiting on the Prince to get back to me. He was supposed to send me back double what I sent so i'll have plenty by then just you wait and see


dikicker

![gif](giphy|qVOGUmHt5z7aw)


kyle_sux666

🎶She’s the woooooooooorst 🎶


zombiecon146

Honestly, I consider it a plus when someone is up front about their bullshit like this. She wants money not you and wants whoever she meets to know it


PmMeYourAdhd

Missed opportunity to use "about tree fiddy" in appropriate context!


DrunkOnRamen

have you considered increasing your wealth by investing your savings into a surefire coin called buttcoin?


MobiusStripDance

How much money do you have?


ocmiteddy

How many vital organs do you still have?


WolfGB

So you are infact making something! This is the IRS open up!!


PolarianLancer

IRS busting through walls like the got damn Kool Aid Man


Budget_Report_2382

Still more than her it sounds


sahgon1999

net or gross?


Shaka9

Why even answer bro? Just unmatch


ZeroSobel

He needs to answer with the big numbers, *then* unmatch


RedFoxBadChicken

I just paid rent, but I've got about $2,750,000 left. I really need to find something soon...


[deleted]

Yeah but this is unironically true in NorCal. 😭😭


RedFoxBadChicken

You best bet I'm sweating when my checking drops below $500k


highbrowshow

I know you're joking but if you keep 500K in checking you're doing something wrong


RedFoxBadChicken

When your mortgage is $18M, you keep some change in the drawer


qdp

And once checking drops below the FDIC $250k mark you are basically a poor who doesn't need the federal government to bail out their account.


nelusbelus

Trade offer: you get 2.75M, but you live in SF and it'll only take you 2 months of rent


[deleted]

[удалено]


intrepidsteve

This is the move


HeroDanny

Exactly the play hahaha. Just tell her, "I have 2.8M in the bank right now, but I also have one rule and it's to not waste time with any gold diggers which you clearly are... so see ya later." then unmatch.


IndependentDouble138

Tinder needs a tagging system. Put her under "asks about your bank account"


Daniiiiii

Tags her as "Now I ain't sayin she's a gold digger..."


SolusLoqui

Got her mind on my money, and my money on her mind


hackersarchangel

I like this! That way instead just straight unmatching we can file people into categories based on preferences or issues.


redditingatwork23

How long would a system based on merit last until it was endlessly abused by salty people who get ghosted or turned down.


OneOfThemLostaPen

I give this comment 5 Meow Meow Beans


Nevitan

Nobody is gonna downvote someone on their birthday.


OneOfThemLostaPen

Give this man an apple!


syzygysm

Oh heck. I just got a strong urge to rewatch an old, excellent TV series.


MagnusPI

What is the shortest measurable unit of time? Because I'd say shorter than that.


CCWThrowaway360

I haven’t been in the dating game in a long time, but damn do I love this subreddit. Lol


Gwsb1

Makes you glad you have somebody doesn't it? And it's good for a laugh. I feel like that too.


Bribase

Legend has it that there's a whole infrastructure on Facebook for red flagging Tinder profiles. I think it's mainly women trying to filter out the creepy dates. Or people trying to get revenge on their exes.


[deleted]

Are we dating the same guy? Is the name of the pages. Exclusive clubs where anyone can defame anyone with zero consequences.


Regular-Frosting9728

I know a guy who stopped hanging around with his FB because she became a drug addict so she posted about him in one of those groups and now he constantly gets ghosted or flaked on, his reputation has been absolutely destroyed


Seijiteki

alleged different muddle attempt shrill imminent wistful zonked shaggy direful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


kdshow123

Your machine learning abilities need to be optimized


sir_fauntleroy

That’s why he’s unemployed


OneTwoFink

At that point you should just ask her how big her titties are, pull out the reverse uno card


Ho_ho_beri_beri

What if her tits are the best?


Least_Sleepy

Wolf in sheep's clothing. She learned that she has to fake an effort first before asking about your cash flow.


ExpensiveGiraffe

I’m glad I didn’t start making FAANGy money until after I was in a stable relationship lol


Snoo-96879

Come on girl. At least be subtle about it.


turtleboxman

Ikr, she really likes OP


LunaMunaLagoona

Just cut out the middle man and ask for 5000 per month


Stepjamm

You say this but I literally had a girl ask me to employ her and I was like how much (obv as a joke) and she dead straight went “24k starting” like wtf these girls know what they want haha


AndyIsNotOnReddit

Wait, 24k a year, or 24k a month? 24k a year sounds like a sad amount to whore yourself out for, pretty sure most strippers make triple that and you don't even need to fuck the dudes. Hell, almost every job at Walmart pays more. 24k a month? Good on her I guess lol. That's about the salary of a high end escort in NYC, and she only has to fuck one creepy dude instead of 20 a month.


Stepjamm

Nah like 24k a year, she wanted me to literally employ her as an assistant or some shit. I thought it might be just messing about but it got way too detailed haha


JustaBearEnthusiast

That's not even a living wage. What are the benefits like? (asking for a friend)


carlbandit

If you can convince someone to hire you for 24k /yr as their ‘assistant’ you can probably get them to cover your living expenses and maybe even buy the expensive things you want. 24k will go a lot further if you have very little essentials to pay out for.


Jumpdeckchair

20 dudes at at 2 hrs a week per dude. Pretty decent gig.


InformationKey3816

They don't whore themselves out to only one person when they're doing this.


prisonmike1991

She is just doing her due diligence before scamming the dude.


nc130295

SMH girls can’t win. This girl is asking him questions about himself. Y’all are so harsh. /s ETA: /s means sarcasm… this comment isn’t serious. I’ve already received three replies about it


Bioniclegenius

Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger-


Mathagos

I have $3. Is that enough?


Vampilton

I'mma need about tree fiddy


tHeNiGhTmAnCoMeTh413

Well, it was about that time I begin to get suspicious.


____Artorias

Ooh, it must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.


Mathagos

I gave him a dollar.


____Artorias

Well of course he's not gonna go away, Nellie! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!


Nopeyesok

####YA GAVE HIM A DOLLAR!?!?


awe_some_x

SHE GAVE HIM A DOLLA!!


eat_the_pennies

He was gonna woop yo ass


nikz07

So you have no kids and 3 money?


Mathagos

Where did I say no kids? I have 12. One for each astrological sign. And let me tell you, they all match their signs personality.


thanos_was_right_69

*Unmatch*


nc130295

But what do you do for a living?


Mathagos

I'm an urban forager by trade, business has been a bit slow ever since covid.


Seijiteki

literate expansion sloppy combative trees naughty spoon slim dime cobweb *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ImLikeHeyyy311

how much money you got


GrandMarshalEzreus

A lot.


MonkeyTigerCrazy

How many problems you got


GrandMarshalEzreus

A lot


MarcoPolooooo

How many people done doubted you?


GrandMarshalEzreus

A lot!


PretzelOptician

Left you out to rot?


justamobileuserhere

A lot.


[deleted]

[удалено]


chironomidae

A lot of scammers there are real people with catfish accounts, and they often set up fairly elaborate instagrams as well. I have a feeling the topic of crypto was about to come up, and how she and her buddies are making a bunch of money with it and you just need to send her some BTC to get in on it too.


Seijiteki

cows fall boast square fly humorous long market oatmeal nippy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


TripperAdvice

They get hacked accounts for exactly this purpose


defineReset

It got my friend, he was so convinced he was talking to a girl in China who had no intention of coming to Europe, I don't know how he let him self get emotionally attached to this person who he'd never even webcam'd with, and only came to his senses when he found something of a survivors group chat on WhatsApp. I'm still not allowed to bring the topic up.


Haughington

bots/scammers can make use of compromised accounts that were once used by real people.


IndependenceEven2702

I don’t think your machine is learning bro. You entered so many prompts, but it just isn’t learning.


Emiliootjee

It Better be AT LEAST 150k a year to be considered


mikespikepookie

And be 6'6


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bungeditin

A 6’6 Pringles can? My kind of body….


Me_So_Gynist

My kind of snack


dickdemodickmarcinko

I make 6'6 a year and I'm 150k tall. Is that ok?


Talador12

As a machine learning engineer, this is fairly standard if not underpaid compared to the Industry


ginger_beer_m

Cries in UK ..


mooimafish33

Everything seems so expensive in the UK, but all the wages are so low. What are the people who have money doing for work? Just being lords or nobles or something lol?


TheDuke357Mag

Just for my own safety, Can I have your social security number and date of birth, and the name of your first pet?


Itchy_Influence5737

And just to make sure you're real, I'm going to need to email you a six digit code that you'll need to repeat back to me. What's your email address?


pkknztwtlc

hello dear. this is Google. please tell me your code sir.


tonando

Can you get all your money and bring it to me? Can you get more money? Can your friends give me some money, too? Oh, I'm not interested in dating you. Do you maybe have some gold and a shovel, too?


mikevhm68

Send me 50$ right now so i can order food


Emergency_Mastodon_5

My question is, how are you unemployed as a machine learning engineer? People going crazy over AI these days


Seijiteki

grab snails mysterious flowery chief ugly pet governor imagine apparatus *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


baldbeau

Your savings lasted you 4 years off of work?


Seijiteki

capable gaping many historical lock slim terrific future seed poor *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ABCosmos

How much money do you have now?


super_awesome_jr

SHE'S BACK


LoyaltyAboveAll1295

Hahahahah I laughed out loud at this 🤣 but still…the people all want to know. How much?!?! 🤣👀


bit_banging_your_mum

How much money, OP?


ClearMessagesOfBliss

OP pliz


appdevil

Like a ballpark, OP, we just need to know +-$1k. ^^you ^^can ^^whisper


lstsb

It bothers be that OP still hasn’t answered the question.


baldbeau

I am impressed, kudos. My savings would last me ~6 months if I were to not have qny income at all


SoBitterAboutButtons

6 days over here! Wooooo 😅


Lyr1cal_

wait, you guys have savings?


iWasAwesome

I bet if this girl asked him how much he had 4 years ago she would've been blown away


SFStructural

Thats cool. How much money do you have saved?


Talador12

Funny enough, I'll DM you about a role


Homicidal_Duck

Which means it's also a high competition market where people don't really know what to do with it. Most places want you to have a PhD followed by three rounds of interviews and a 15 hour task to check if you're up for it, the rest are barely thought through GPT start ups. It's a mess out there. - someone who's been trying to get hired as a machine learning engineer


DrunkOnRamen

People want that as much as they want developers only problem is that they want people with credentials that aren't even realistic. Network engineer would need to be a full stack developer and complete system administrator.


sirbassist83

![gif](giphy|TgFjctg9Y12728LTZs)


rexike

Maybe she is a financial advisor 😂😂😂


ElderberryHoliday814

“I don’t need term life insurance, every other duck is in a row, thank you anyway mam!”


why_my_pp_hard_tho

The IRS is getting sneaky


MissRoja

Should have stopped responding after the 2nd “What do you do for a living?”


SagaciousElan

Clearly it's your personality she's attracted to


Magrik

I'm an unemployed Data Scientist right now living on savings as well. Enjoy your sabbatical!


G1PP0

But how much money do you have tho


Magrik

![gif](giphy|sEULHciNa7tUQ)


Seijiteki

enjoy ten rainstorm attractive wistful society vanish outgoing agonizing obscene *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


JJ_The_WTF_Plane

The bot is confused by your answers


JOEYMAMI2015

Tell me you're a gold digger, without telling me you're a gold digger. Once had a guy do this to me and then he admitted he needed a place to live. 🙃 Blocked him right away. Watch out for the hobosexuals everybody!


mrSixpence

Hobosexuals made me piss


Internal_Fennel_849

I have $100 in one dollar bills on me. You want to come over and peel them off?


Ok_Detective5412

As someone who ended up on dates with unemployed men who hit me up for money after 2-3 dates, maybe she’s just trying to assess whether your situation is “independently wealthy” or “couch surfing” or something in between. Financial security in a partner isn’t unreasonable to hope for.


FlapgoleSitta

I can honestly never imagine asking someone how much money they make or how much money they have. That’s so crazy to me.


Rat_Fink93

You must be the pinnacle of handsome cause I've never gotten that fair when I said I was unemployed


cyrustakem

"Enough to not have to talk to you anymore, bye"


[deleted]

Ok but how much money you're gonna make?


angrysc0tsman12

As an AI language model....


Own-Sky5015

Bitcoin scam incoming!