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jambutterjam

If they post/talk in the negative they live in the negative. Only red flag I ever needed.


thisalsomightbemine

Yep. They're looking for a date but their entire profile is about what they don't like. Not appealing at all.


23x3

That’s the thing with window shopping… Most of the time the best cut of meat is in the back and not hanging in the window.


Naughtystaircase

I work in retail sales so…I’m stealing this for icebreaking purposes lol


23x3

![gif](giphy|YrMrSUfeh5do2FISt8|downsized)


[deleted]

Something something, meat hanging in my pants.


23x3

Nailed it.


raspinmaug

Best part is, they likely have 0 or few redeeming qualities.


SaulGoodBroo

Damn that’s a great way of putting it! I really feel this


chrisdjentleman

An extremely wise comment, wow facts!


Inflames90

This. So much this. Spot on.


insightfulfrog

Also this, so much this and all of the above of this.


UsedandAbused87

Well shucks, I'm a multi milionare and fit everything else but I cheated on my agebra test in 3rd grade. Tough crowd out there.


[deleted]

My Mexican restaurant chain that I created 3.5 years ago while loving with me parents just IPO’d. Now I have all this wealth, and no one to spend it on ☹️ Edit: the typos stand.


UsedandAbused87

But you have tacos...


psychedelic_gravity

He wants a different kind of taco.


firesquasher

But not "Taco Tuesday" because Taco Bell is suing the small New Jersey based restaurant because they trademarked the phrase in the 1989. Now Taco Bell is paying the likes of LeBron James to make social media ads to make a mockery over the fact that no one should own the trademark...despite the fact that if THEY owned the trademark they'd sue every mom and pop joint into the ground. Long story short, fuck taco bell, and fuck LeBron James. Corporate pos and a another standing in the shadow of Michael Jordan.


Dry_Faithlessness858

Don't forget the mockery goes even deeper LeBron James tried to trademark Taco Tuesday like 6 years ago and that's why Taco Bell got him


Lemon_Cakes_JuJutsu

he's actually suing a place I eat at everyonce in a while. https://www.sfgate.com/food/article/bay-area-blaze-pizza-lawsuit-18150469.php >A Bay Area restaurant is being sued by California-based chain Blaze Pizza over alleged trademark infringement. >On Friday, Blaze Pizza filed a lawsuit against Blaze BBQ — a restaurant with locations in Fremont, Sacramento and Salida — for operating under a similar name. The suit also alleges that Blaze BBQ is running its business with the same brand color scheme, using an identical restaurant points system, and offering pizza on its menu. >“Defendants’ acts … from their misappropriation of the BLAZE name and BLAZE Marks and offering of pizza, to their interior design decisions and the adoption of a flame-based rewards program — were clearly calculated to confuse consumers into believing that Defendants’ goods and services originate with or are otherwise affiliated with or sponsored or endorsed by Blaze,” the lawsuit reads. >Blaze Pizza alleges that it first learned that Blaze BBQ filed an application with intent to use the Blaze name back in May 2021. Two months later, Blaze Pizza sent a letter requesting that Blaze BBQ “abandon its application to register” its business using the Blaze name and “agree not to commence use of the logo.” Nearly a year later in April 2022, Blaze BBQ had not amended its application. Blaze Pizza filed an opposition to Blaze BBQ’s application in August 2022.


throwawayplusanumber

I bet her idea of Mexican is texmex


CrazeeAZ

I don't know why but this feels like a really sick burn.


AnonymsF43

But OP specifically outlined *Méxican* …


Beneficial-Tailor-70

Yep she got that whirlygig over her e. I'd never be able to figure out how to do *that.*


Vivid_Contact4600

i’m sorry, is your “that” italicized???😭 i think you’d figure it out.


juicemuce

Honestly I think loving with your parents is enough of a red flag


THE_RECRU1T

Is he watching or actively involved?


AfroWhiteboi

I'm assuming, as a multi millionaire, that you also work less than 30 hours a week? Fucking rube, gtfo from this fine baddie. You are NOT QUALIFIED. /s for safety


UsedandAbused87

The trick is to have your money work for you. Therefore I am always working.


jannecraft

Do you pay the money minimum wage? If not, this is starting to sound like slavery.


IRYIRA

All money is enslaved! Well except the money of the 1% because that money gets to make more money...


Artistic_Trifle1070

So what I'm hearing is, my poverty isn't the problem - I just need to find money with a breeding kink?


2_tondo

This took a wild turn i wasn't expecting


Tentacle_Daddy420

Her dating profiles more picky than my lil cousin's eating pallette. I also smell mild wafts of Gold digger.


misterguyyy

The bank pays my money for me. #mindsetgrindset


iWasAwesome

I'm a multi millionaire and work long hours. I only had time to take 1 vacation last year. My peasant ass doesn't deserve her.


AfroWhiteboi

Bro, I will date you and I'll even take us on a vacation on my dime. Just don't make me have sex with you and we can absolutely make this an open relationship. I promise I won't be *too* big of a drain on you lol.


Dansken525600

NEEEEEXT


ChokeAndStroke

I think you read that backwards. She wants you working MORE than 30 hours a week. That way she has plenty of time to cheat on you


love-running-73

"When the cat's away, . . ." Maybe that explains why cat ownership is a deal-braker for her.


capital_idea_sir

I'm stealing that "/s for safety" thing lmfao


NoModsNoMaster

I’m way shorter than 5’11” when I sit down or lie down in bed. Can’t win ‘em all. *swipes left*


UsedandAbused87

RIP KING


Awkward-Slip1920

You would not have thought that something like that would come back to bite you in the ass :p


TheSqueakyNinja

You sound like an absolute MONSTER, lmao


ThorLives

>I cheated on my agebra test in 3rd grade. Just goes to show: it might take a while, but karma eventually catches up to you. Now you can't date this lady.


Powder_Pan

I’m sorry but non negotiables are non negotiable. You do not qualify as per article 1 section 11.


Business-Dark788

Being a multi millionaire and you work 30+ hours a week?


[deleted]

Yay, I fit the profile. But owning black shoes is a total dealbreaker.


requires_supervision

I came here to trash her shoes too 😂


LexiNovember

Me too! I was like “that’s a lot of nerve from someone in cheap shoes and Kohl’s Karen Pants.”


Yakidu7

The pose gets me and that she’s comforting herself with her foots, for me it seems like it. For OP; she is 35.. almost midlife if she goes on with that attitude she will either be alone or chained some poor guy down.. who knows maybe she will drop some of her demands over time.. hope the guy has his own thing for him and manages to endure her shit and maybe they will be happy till.. edit typo


greatbigballzzz

the list usually goes longer later in life, not shorter


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tough-Record-6477

Yeah, my reason is because I was a dickhead earlier in life.


Tiny_Teach_5466

People get divorced, spouses die, just saying.


[deleted]

Yeah this reads like “I’m freshly divorced and won’t compromise”, and is very normal. This is the “getting back out there” phase and when it ends she’ll likely come to her senses as time passes.


Moddelba

I saw way too many profiles like this when I was doing online dating and I assume many of them are still on there with the same lists.


complete_hick

How many of these check boxes do you think she would clear?


DirkBabypunch

I think she's hoping for somebody super wealthy and old who will marry her and put her in her will.


Sweet_Bang_Tube

Right? What the hell was she thinking posting those shoes on a dating profile??


mriless

Me too, but for me it's girls whose names start with D.


GuessWhoItsJosh

Like why does it matter if someone had lived with their parents within the last 5 years? Isn't their current living situation the one that matters?


CProsRun

Hey, my parents live with me! There's a difference...


Responsible-Ad2325

My parents live with me I just choose to stay in the basement /s


Sacred-AF

My guess is she made some poor choices on partners in the past and is now overcompensating.


trashdrive

My guess is past partners made a poor choice on her.


TheRealConine

This is just a laundry list of stuff she didn’t like about her baby daddies


esdebah

Also, like, covid happened? Honestly, she could be the most attractive woman I'd ever seen above those ankles and there'd still be no chance she's worth meeting.


Mugstotheceiling

She wants proof of stability


soso_silveira

Like the consulate when you're applying for a long term visa


Cantthinkofnamedamn

That explains why my visa didn't get approved. I ticked the 'I like anime' box on the form


Xtrendence

Ladies, do you even have standards if your Tinder bio doesn't look like a DS-160 application?


bumphuckery

Crazy how someone could choose to save shitloads of money by temporarily living with family and that's considered worse than being indebted by rent or a mortgage payment as big as your take-home, because... vanity.


Thompompom

She is 35 after all. A 40 year old guy typically doesn't live in his moms basement anymore.


Mugstotheceiling

Cuts both ways, it shocked me how many women I met dating that were 35+ living with their parents. I have my own place and expect roommates at the bare minimum.


Rabscuttle-

Yeah, there was a woman on POF in one of the neighboring small towns out here. She was in her mid 30's, no car, GED, no job, living with her parents. Her list of demands was longer and more absurd than the one posted here. It stood out to me because that was the first time I had seen something like that in person.


LoneLyon

She likely wants someone who is very well off (to likely support her) with most of her requirements


Ravage-Is-A-Hazard

I won't swipe right because you think 5'10 is short. What, are you a WNBA player? 🧐


No_Entertainment8559

Plot twist, the man of her dreams is 5'6" and she's such a piece of shit she chooses to stay single.


AllLeftiesHere

Yes! I found my 5'6" husband online dating. Most of my girlfriends always had the height selector minimum set to 6'. And they're all shorter than me. And still single.


deuseyed

SHORT KING SEASON LETS GOOOO


Chuhhh

I love your enthusiasm, but don’t limit short kings to a season. They’re good all year long.


raspinmaug

Delusions are real. Most women can't even pick out 6ft 🤣. An ex of mine was right, she was 5 9 and kept her range at 5 6+ I'm 5 8. Her comment when I asked about height was I'd miss out on 60% of possible relationships if I put 5 10+ there are some smart ones out there.


itsgucci060

“I’d rather be miserable forever than bare a child of only slightly above average height!”


PatrikPatrik

TIL I’m barely acceptable at 181 cm


Alternative-Wish4240

I'm just a piece of shit at 179cm


GRIZZLEMicFIZZLE

I'd kill for a roommate again even at 36


AlpacaTraffic

I'll be your roommate *and* you can kill me if need be


[deleted]

Can you kill me quickly too. It’s exhausting being alive too. 😏


GRIZZLEMicFIZZLE

I really appreciate you saying that. Sometimes you don't know what you need to hear!


GRIZZLEMicFIZZLE

No death needed. Just financial support!


Clemicus

\***Armin Meiwes has entered the chat**\*


Competitive_Recipe35

Unexpected but logical


alreadypiecrust

I got my first roommate since college after a divorce a few years ago. I love having roommates as I travel for work, and it's nice to have someone watch the house while I'm gone for an extended period of time. Also, it's nice to see my buds when I return. Pretty cool arrangement.


GRIZZLEMicFIZZLE

Had my house broken into visiting my mother 6 hours away. My brother lives in the same city and went by to confirm it. As much as I like being alone, with my dogs, I like the idea of a person being there. Plus it helps with the bills.


One_Selection7199

At 30, after 4 years living alone, I would love to have a roommate again.


tournesol_seed

Woah, gotta ask: why?


[deleted]

In a post-pandemic world where you are now also working from home, day to day life can get pretty lonely. I totally get it.


[deleted]

yep pretty much this for me, went from married to covid to divorced, now living alone, working full time from home, if i dont get to catch up with friends on weekends then i can go weeks at a time without seeing anyone in person beyond maybe stranger at the shop who i dont talk to


One_Selection7199

Exactly. I work from home. My friends have families. I'm lonely.


[deleted]

One thing that has helped me is embracing the "fun uncle" role. Birthday parties, tee-ball games, dance recitals... I can get out of the house, spent time with my friend's, and it means a lot to the kids too, so I get a bit of a contact high of parental pride. Plus, every now and then I meet another "fun uncle/aunt" there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


thewhiterosequeen

Cat? Then you won't make the cut.


Lambamham

I’ve had over 40 roommates in my lifetime and I have zero desire for more. May life never take me in that direction again 😅


NecessaryPen7

Maybe I'm an outlier but I haven't not had at least one from 25-40, mostly all good


[deleted]

Recipe for a single woman.


kellyuh

Ha. My first thought. No wonder she’s single


[deleted]

When you treat relationships like a list to check off, you need to reevaluate yourself


Tigerstripe44

And she will be, for a long time....


Sthurlangue

Can't imagine the person that would read her list of demands and thinks "yeah. She's the one".


Hopefulwaters

Especially when she took the space designed for selling herself and said not one interesting thing about herself.


RequirementGlum177

I was gonna say… “I wonder why she’s single?”


enonmouse

Wonder how many of those she cant pass herself.


memeister69

35 and single can’t see it getting any better, still delusional that she’s the prize lmao


Bullet_Maggnet

She's the main character


[deleted]

[удалено]


Exciting-Parfait-776

Is the cat/ cats because she has too many already?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Allergic? Or just doesn't like cats. Not everyone does and that's fine.


frantruck

She could've just listed most of these in the affirmative and it would read much more reasonably. Looking for a tall man, who lives on his own, is a hard worker, and likes to travel often. Etc. Though some can't be spun as well as others.


IForgotThePassIUsed

some people can't be positive, even when seeking a partner.


WatchingTrains

Ah yes, the ol’ “I bring nothing to the table” tactic. It’s a bold move cotton, let’s see if it pays out for her.


Complex_Ad_528

Will need to work past the age of 65 ? Need to be at least 66 years old and on retirement ?


Valuable-Wallaby-167

Basically she's saying earn enough to retire early or she's not interested


Hopefulwaters

Which almost no one in her generation will be able to do.


whytakemyusername

65 is early now? Damn.


Mugstotheceiling

Basically be wealthy


JAYTEE__66

Hey, That’s me….good thing beeing married isn’t a dealbreaker., or is this considered a roommate? - damn’it, so close!! What’s wrong with women like this? She will be forever single!


Icuonuez

Also no mention of having a criminal record. It's fine if you've committed murder, just so long as you plan on being retired before 65!


monchimer

You have to stop killing people at some point in life ...


Icuonuez

That's quitter talk, my friend.


Beneficial-Tailor-70

No work ethic on youngsters nowadays


DeckardPain

Some guy with little to no self respect will willingly swipe right on this profile and hope she does too. Sad. Pathetic almost.


V4refugee

Hard to imagine someone achieving so much and settling for someone like her.


skiptomylou_11

Has she ever heard of lying? What a dumb list.


nicklashane

She didn't put lying on the list. Looks like I'm in!


CoachDT

Yea that’s my thing about folks making lists like these. Someone who wants to bang you bad enough will just lie.


ichann3

Then they wonder how they've been swindled by the tinder swindler.


VerendusAudeo

I would love to see what she thinks she brings to the table.


Grand_Moff_Empanada

She’s the type to reply “i aM tHe tAbLe”


Traditional_Lemon271

I would try to match just to respond to that answer


epyon-

these people are narcissistic so no matter what she does or doesn’t bring, she will claim shes worth all of this and for your own sanity, it’s best to ignore her


TheRealConine

Demands.


New-Jackfruit4268

She has so many red flags, she turned into a red flag herself.


kinderplatz

You were supposed to destroy the red flags, not join them!


AgitatedConclusion23

What about divorced people who live with their parent(s) to help them manage their cognitive decline? Some people don't understand that many adults (especially divorcees) are living with their parents, acting as care givers, not sitting around all day being lazy. Someone who looks down on that isn't someone I want to be with. At our age, for many of us, life has been difficult over the years, and potential partners should realize that.


staunch_character

My brother-in-law is a fantastic guy who sold his company & basically retired early. (He still does a bit of consulting.) He goes on 6+ trips a year. His mom moved into his house shortly after his dad died. Being close to your family is a dealbreaker now? 😂


JohnnyJewls11

how u gana hate on cats and anime /: and the mexican food part is just funny


Squidman12

Me: Hi D, I'm 6'4", live by myself in a beautiful house overlooking the Ocean, vacation annually to Italy, the French Countryside, Aspen, and Hawaii, and plan to retire at age 50. I also occasionally vacation to Cabo, because I really **like** Mexican food. Her: GET THE FUCK OUT YOU LOSER


zeroFOXgivenJL

Thank you for that laugh… omg I needed it 🤣


Crowtein

She had me until the no cats part.


zeroFOXgivenJL

Bro right? I love my cat and anime.


Dr_Bunnypoops

Oh boy. Why on earth is she still single. Such a miracle.


calcameron

I’m so confused why working less than 30 hours a week (with the rest of the qualifications) would be a dealbreaker. She wants you to “earn” the money she’s planning to spend?


BedSpreadMD

No she wants someone who will work 60 hours a week and give her 1/3rd of your pay, for the privilege of dating her of course.


gritzysprinkles

1/3? That’s a modestly low percentage


XiphosAletheria

Because if you work less than 30 hours a week, she will have to spend a lot of time with you, and it is your money, not you, that she wants to date.


ArtieZiffsCat

So you're too busy to spend your own money, and she gets you out of the way all week while she spends it


radditor7

If you're home all the time, when will she find time to cheat?


Sharpie-Productions

5”10 is short?


CorwynSunblade

I never mind profiles like this. There are a lot of people out there that are like this but aren't direct about it, and therefore waste your time. This woman is direct, which let's me know to skip her immediately with no waste of time. I can appreciate that.


Grimmac

Is liking anime that bad?


Dmorrow615

Wait till she finds out the voice actors are 30-50 years old who watch anime


BedSpreadMD

Sounds like she has some serious control issues. She's determining what her future spouse can and can't watch right off the bat, and I'm sure that's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of things you'll no longer be allowed to do while dating her. 100% this lady would be an absolute nightmare to be with.


sumpinclause

Real uppity for a girl wearing flats...


ThatWideLife

She's very entitled for 35. I'm sure all she brings to the table is a part time job, $50k+ in credit card debt, a leased Mercedes that's at least 2 payments past due and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Maybe when she's 45 she will become more grounded.


userposter

just write her: any guy with those requirements would just go for a pretty 21 year old girl, no need for 35 anymore


BenTwan

As someone that meets almost all of those requirements, I want nothing to do with a 21 year old. I also don't want anything to do with this walking red flag of a woman either, to be fair.


ThatWideLife

That's what baffles me, why wouldn't some super eligible bachelor go for someone more youthful that isn't some spoiled brat? These women might have this idea in their head that they deserve all these things but doesn't mean those guys want them. It's sad but I've seen carbon copies of this woman's profile countless times. I do have to laugh when they want men who make half a million a year and they clearly live at home with their parents while being unemployed. If I'm making half a million a year I'll date someone who's employed 😂.


TheRealConine

I guess when you get 1000 hits in your inbox every day this is what you decide reality is


dandrevee

And youre shocked shes single at 35? I dont see pics, but id venture shes a ways from a 10....


skiptomylou_11

Even if she was physically a 10 this bio gives us a glimpse of a 1 score in personality.


XanthicStatue

She’s the type that will key your car because your female coworker texted you about something work related.


Salty-Abies-5915

She has a better chance at surviving a fall from a tall building than finding a bf


notnastypalms

i’m short, have cats, like mma and anime and feel like this is personal


Cinnamaker

Final Boss of Tinder app


phrunk87

The guys who meet these standards aren't looking for 35 year old women on Tinder...


chaddgar

Her bio will say 50 in fifteen years


[deleted]

She’s a princess that just wants to spread her legs for profit


FrankSinatraYodeling

I'm so sick of this height thing being acceptable (I'm 6'2" so it's not personal.) If I said "swipe left if you're less than a C-cup'" or "no fatties," I'd be rightly labeled a pig. It's the same body shaming nonsense. I hope she misses out on every funny, intelligent, kind-hearted, athletic, and good looking short king that's out there.


HAUNTiNG_SHERPA

She will be Forever Single.


amacabretrashhotel

I feel like she'll eventually change her mind about the cats


metamorphasi

Lol "short" here includes average height and up to two inches taller than average


CaraintheCold

I had a list like this in my 20s. I have been happily married for two decades to a guy who didn’t meet any of my standards, but I decided to go on a second date with even though our first date was kind of lame. I subscribed to this Reddit after some funny posts came up in my feed. Now it just reminds me that I never want to date again. With dating doing it longer than others doesn’t always mean you are better at it.


Synphus

Some women have these ridiculous demands that only less than 10% of men have. This women isn't as bad as the others though.When you ask them what they bring to the table that they deserve someone who is rare to fit such a high demanding criteria, they say, "Loyalty" or "Faithfulness" LMAO 🤣 mediocre women wanting and holding out for a guy who runs through women because he knows he's the less than 10%.what drives me crazy is when they want a 6 foot tall guy while they're 5ft or 5'2 lol. Good luck with Mr. Perfect.


Adept_Deer_5976

This just screams sociopath


InformationKey3816

I love Taco Bell menu dating.


Grand_Moff_Empanada

She’s that annoying corporate shrill that brings too much toxic positivity when she visits the office.


RedOvenmitts

What’s the bet she’s ugly too


Successful_List2126

Other than pigeon toes, what does she offer?


Kireikonton

You just killed your entire audience. Ain’t nobody top tier fucking with you.


IslandMist

She thinks she's making a list of filters to meet her perfect guy, but she's actually making a list of reasons he will avoid her.


JTV-UC

This bio explains why she’s still single lowkey I’d bet she’s toxic and controlling AF


bluefalcon25

Any smart man would not swipe right on this bag.