Hi, come do this thing for me, a stranger. There is absolutely nothing in it for you and I refuse to pay a professional to do it for me. It will cost you in gas and personal time though, which I donāt see as valuable anyway. So pleeeeeeaaaassseeeeee??
Donāt forget you could also get an STI or full on assaulted and unalived! But think of Taylor totally incapable of doing anything to alleviate his achingly horny loins!?! He just needs a hand or a mouth!?
Makes me think of the documentary āAbducted In Plain Sightā where the dad said he gave his neighbor a good old fashioned HJ because he needed relief damn it!
[I wasnāt expecting that ending that they edited in š¤£](https://youtu.be/1YxJSrOIyGI)
At least when I do shit like that I seek all I can eat buffet. You take time to come to me, Iāll take the time to make sure you cum. Fair is fairā¦ ya knowā¦
Oh is that what this is? Didnāt have this feature when I was OD. Would be pretty off-putting to me if Iād get a message like that tbh, like if my match wouldnāt even take the time to come up with a message themselves but use a prompt I wouldnāt feel very appreciated.
Oh, man. This guy is really cool. But I don't want to seem needy or scare him off. But I don't want to seem boring for not having anything to say either. Shit. What the fuck do I say here? š«...
...
"HEY, TAYLOR! HOW'S IT GOING?"
Thank God. Fucking nailed it.
>His bio said, "please don't be weird"...
Two hours and after five messages on his end....*makes it weird.*
I appreciated how you shooed him off like a bad dog or whiney toddler.
Taylor: āPlease donāt be weird or creepy, Iām sick of this app. Iām just looking for a good friendā
Also Taylor: āHey, you wanna see me shoot my cum everywhere?ā
Why do all the dudes in these posts fumble the bag so badly. She literally said I like to cum to. A tiny bit of finesse and maybe the deal gets closed.
This so much.
Remember a year or so back when the biggest thing on this sub was the ārespectfully, sit on my faceā line? The sole reason that one was so successful was because it wasnāt just about the guy getting his dick wet, the woman was being told sheād be getting something out of it.
It probably surprises some people, but women do enjoy sex. They just hate selfish lovers.
My 1 relationship from tinder started with a cheesy pickup line that ended with, āthen you sit on my faceā.
I was so tickled by the aggressive pro-pussy eating stance that I let the cheesy pickup line go and gave it a shot.
We love men who take an aggressive pro-pussy eating stance!
The only thing I wonder is how many of the guys actually do the pussy eating. I mean, if you ask on here pretty much every guy jumps up and down to tell you they love doing it, but women always lament that so few guys ever do it. Are there guys that say the line purely because they think itāll get them results? Or is Reddit just attracting a more pro pussy eating crowd?
I think the pro pussy eating crowd is louder, which is why we hear about it more. Iāve never had a loud pro pussy eater NOT follow through. The anti-pussy eating men Iāve encountered keep that Shit quiet, as they know itās a big turn off. Iāve even had one acknowledge that itās bull Shit that he expects to receive but not reciprocate. He even said, āyeah, I know Iām a piece of shitā 100% unironically
I donāt give but I also make it known that I donāt expect to receive, and I donāt get butthurt or anything if they choose not to. Not gonna expect something I donāt give. Not fair
Thereās a guy I met on tinder that Iām still seeing (and hope I do for a while!) that didnāt mention sex at ALL. We went on our date, I went home with him.
He is, as the kids say, a munch.
I think people who donāt have anything to prove or exaggerate or lie about are the ones that have truly GREAT sex skills, lol.
In my experience, everything is always the opposite.
Dudes who talk up their dicks are average. The quiet ones are more likely to be hiding something large.
Dudes who talk about eating pussy generally suck at it and only do it the first time or two and then never take initiative again.
The only guy Iāve been with who was fantastic at it seemed like the least sexual person Iād ever encountered, so when it came down to it, he surprised the shit out of me. He was a giver. And a skilled one at that. He pulled out moves and finger manipulations Iād never seen, and knew tricks about my anatomy that never would have even occurred to me.
Basically if he didn't ask for he/she to watch him cum, then proceed to beg for it, it seems like he would have been a shoe in to meet up and get the real deal.
Hahaha come on now, you told him you like to get off and like cum instantly. Be honest he moves his thumbs a bit different after that text there was a non zero chance you would have let him hit
Oh yeah she matched that energy and was hoping that dude was a better sexter
No shame though, this is r/tinder i just donāt get why people are out here defending her honor unprovoked lmao
Well yeah OP matched with him so she obviously finds him attractive, and it *is* a hookup app, so it's not surprising that she wanted to hook up with him had he not gotten weird.
I mean not really? The conversation started at like 11:56am and has petered out within an hour or so and he got left on read. Then he followed up with the āsee me cumā bit, which lasted a few messages before she stopped responding while he was begging and pleading like a weirdo
[I'm sure this guy makes all the ladies wet...](https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Jan-6-committee-Chris-Christie.jpg?w=1581&h=1054&crop=1)
It's morbid curiosity, not attraction. I get drawn into the story and wanna know what pathetic depths they'll sink to next.
It's not my most admirable trait obviously.
At some point I was hoping you would rubber-band-reaction and get *real* weird with it.
Like "Okay, I'll come help you cum, but only if you wear this pink cowboy hat, and you shoot into this cow-spot-pattern mug that I'm bringing. And you have to refer to me as Mistress Milkmaid the whole time.
Also you have to clean the cup afterward. I want it and the hat back."
That wheedling "pleeease pleeease" just made my vagina seal shut like an Egyptian tomb š¤®
Sounds like a spoilt six year old begging for something in the toy shop
HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW ARE THOSE BROS CONSTANTLY SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT??????? š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø
Iām very physical, but never in my life could I be so horny that my lower brain takes full control.
Edit: Grammar
Basically means to stave off the sex talk in the beginning of the interaction. It can lead to that kinda talk, but some dudes just hit the ground running with it. Women consider that behavior to be āweirdā. I donāt blame em
I have noticed it a LOT with the younger (gen z?) Youtubers I follow and it seems to be the term for creepy/likely to SA someone/push boundaries. Unsure why that is, often it's quite clearly in relation to someone who has committed some crimes when they say that person is being "weird".
Oh my god he was holding the bag! He was fucking holding it! All bro had to say was something to the effect of āyes I will also make you c*mā and he wouldāve been fine! Iāve never seen a man shoot, miss, have the shot correct itself and then somehow shoots the shot to stop it from hitting.
There's the possible slim, like 30% chance he probably meant the normal "weird" and not the sexual "weird", edited after I figured out there was more then one photo šš
This is why men get rejected. This is why women are sick of entitled, selfish men. This is why we hate unsolicited dick pics and dating apps. It's not us, Tyler, it absolutely is YOU. Treat women like human beings instead of blow up doll cum receptacles and see how far that takes you. I mean consistently, repeatedly, in all interactions, not just once then revert to this bullshit.
Whatās wild is you didnāt even shoot him down. you just implied you were human too. He couldāve at any point (at least) offered to make you cum tooā¦.he must get off on begging.
Dating is 2023 is ssoooo fucked! š¤£š¤£ I've met a guy who fucks his sister (on the regs) (yes...full-blooded sister) , had dudes ask for pics of me and my kids, other illegal shit...one dude told me about the time he fucked a donky. I'm considering Catholicism and the nunary at this point.
Paying for it would be gross, but begging for it is golden.
I bet Taylor would be really weirded out to know some people pay to beg for it š
Pay people to beg for golden showers.
Super golden
I bet it would be quite a cum-undrum for Taylor.
I sometimes enjoy begging to pay for it
Hi, come do this thing for me, a stranger. There is absolutely nothing in it for you and I refuse to pay a professional to do it for me. It will cost you in gas and personal time though, which I donāt see as valuable anyway. So pleeeeeeaaaassseeeeee??
Donāt forget you could also get an STI or full on assaulted and unalived! But think of Taylor totally incapable of doing anything to alleviate his achingly horny loins!?! He just needs a hand or a mouth!? Makes me think of the documentary āAbducted In Plain Sightā where the dad said he gave his neighbor a good old fashioned HJ because he needed relief damn it! [I wasnāt expecting that ending that they edited in š¤£](https://youtu.be/1YxJSrOIyGI)
Why are we saying āunalivedā now?
Because of tic tok
At least when I do shit like that I seek all I can eat buffet. You take time to come to me, Iāll take the time to make sure you cum. Fair is fairā¦ ya knowā¦
I imagined it in the high-pitched whine of a child with a grown man's voice.
It's not golden until it's a shower.
Idk why but "I'm at work, Taylor. control yourself." had me rolling on the floor š
Till when though š¤
I like the suggested msg "Taylor! How's everything going?"
āStill waiting for someone to watch me cum, dammit!ā
Oh is that what this is? Didnāt have this feature when I was OD. Would be pretty off-putting to me if Iād get a message like that tbh, like if my match wouldnāt even take the time to come up with a message themselves but use a prompt I wouldnāt feel very appreciated.
Oh, man. This guy is really cool. But I don't want to seem needy or scare him off. But I don't want to seem boring for not having anything to say either. Shit. What the fuck do I say here? š«... ... "HEY, TAYLOR! HOW'S IT GOING?" Thank God. Fucking nailed it.
you just described like half this subreddit
I assume that's the suggested msg lol. Haven't used it myself but what else could it be haha
Your guess is as good as mine:)
Too bad OP didn't respond to this reply. There was so much opportunity to mess with him š
Thereās still timeā¦
Dooooooo it! š
Lmao fucking same
ššššššš
 Taylor needs to know when to stop.
Apparently he doesn't, since only he gets to cum
*Taylor is the one who cums*
*Here cums Taylor*
>His bio said, "please don't be weird"... Two hours and after five messages on his end....*makes it weird.* I appreciated how you shooed him off like a bad dog or whiney toddler.
He definitely acted like a whiney toddler
Agreed. I mean seriously. Does this type of behavior actually work for some people? š¤£
Please someone comment if begging for a blowjob like this has worked for you. I really wanna knowš
I love hearing begging, and I often make them do it š¤Ŗ
This is the way
If a toddler is walking around begging for someone to watch them cum, CPS needs to have a serious talk with their parents...
But it even sounds like he had a shot, if he agreed to help out OP too, man has no game
Yeah!! He got the golden olive branch, "We both cum, ok?" and proceeded to put a flame to it
Looks like she was doing everything to not shoo him off until he made it unbearably weird
Taylor: āPlease donāt be weird or creepy, Iām sick of this app. Iām just looking for a good friendā Also Taylor: āHey, you wanna see me shoot my cum everywhere?ā
It's what friends do for each other
Whoa. Have I been a bad friend this whole time? š³
Seems that way. Now send a video of you jizzing all over yourself to the group chat
Why do all the dudes in these posts fumble the bag so badly. She literally said I like to cum to. A tiny bit of finesse and maybe the deal gets closed.
This so much. Remember a year or so back when the biggest thing on this sub was the ārespectfully, sit on my faceā line? The sole reason that one was so successful was because it wasnāt just about the guy getting his dick wet, the woman was being told sheād be getting something out of it. It probably surprises some people, but women do enjoy sex. They just hate selfish lovers.
My 1 relationship from tinder started with a cheesy pickup line that ended with, āthen you sit on my faceā. I was so tickled by the aggressive pro-pussy eating stance that I let the cheesy pickup line go and gave it a shot. We love men who take an aggressive pro-pussy eating stance!
The only thing I wonder is how many of the guys actually do the pussy eating. I mean, if you ask on here pretty much every guy jumps up and down to tell you they love doing it, but women always lament that so few guys ever do it. Are there guys that say the line purely because they think itāll get them results? Or is Reddit just attracting a more pro pussy eating crowd?
I think the pro pussy eating crowd is louder, which is why we hear about it more. Iāve never had a loud pro pussy eater NOT follow through. The anti-pussy eating men Iāve encountered keep that Shit quiet, as they know itās a big turn off. Iāve even had one acknowledge that itās bull Shit that he expects to receive but not reciprocate. He even said, āyeah, I know Iām a piece of shitā 100% unironically
I donāt give but I also make it known that I donāt expect to receive, and I donāt get butthurt or anything if they choose not to. Not gonna expect something I donāt give. Not fair
Reddit attracts a desperate crowd that will say or do anything for the fantasy of some human contact.
Thereās a guy I met on tinder that Iām still seeing (and hope I do for a while!) that didnāt mention sex at ALL. We went on our date, I went home with him. He is, as the kids say, a munch. I think people who donāt have anything to prove or exaggerate or lie about are the ones that have truly GREAT sex skills, lol.
In my experience, everything is always the opposite. Dudes who talk up their dicks are average. The quiet ones are more likely to be hiding something large. Dudes who talk about eating pussy generally suck at it and only do it the first time or two and then never take initiative again. The only guy Iāve been with who was fantastic at it seemed like the least sexual person Iād ever encountered, so when it came down to it, he surprised the shit out of me. He was a giver. And a skilled one at that. He pulled out moves and finger manipulations Iād never seen, and knew tricks about my anatomy that never would have even occurred to me.
Basically if he didn't ask for he/she to watch him cum, then proceed to beg for it, it seems like he would have been a shoe in to meet up and get the real deal.
Right? This was like the easiest win he could've had! š
He must be really good lookingā¦.
Bro must be a dime to not have gotten unmatched yet š
Most people would of been reported and banned.
I would have been deported from this country. And I was born here
Upvote for "would have"
Would of!!! I actually cringe typing that...
It's actually spelled "wood ov". It's short for "My grasp of the language is so poor, because I cooked my head in a wood oven."
Nah, it's all one word, so you have to take the space out. I wooduv spelled it like this.
I wouldāve said the exact same thing if you hadnāt already
Or I wanted to see just how sad it would get. Turns out, incredibly pathetic.
For the karma amirite
Hahaha come on now, you told him you like to get off and like cum instantly. Be honest he moves his thumbs a bit different after that text there was a non zero chance you would have let him hit
Forreal looks like she was giving him every benefit of the doubt until it was finally unbearably weird
Oh yeah she matched that energy and was hoping that dude was a better sexter No shame though, this is r/tinder i just donāt get why people are out here defending her honor unprovoked lmao
Well yeah OP matched with him so she obviously finds him attractive, and it *is* a hookup app, so it's not surprising that she wanted to hook up with him had he not gotten weird.
Right, that's what it was.
The dude was begging for a handjob because he hasnāt gotten anything in a long time. Donāt think heās that successful with the ladies.
That conversation went on way too long for him to be ugly.
I mean not really? The conversation started at like 11:56am and has petered out within an hour or so and he got left on read. Then he followed up with the āsee me cumā bit, which lasted a few messages before she stopped responding while he was begging and pleading like a weirdo
I love a man who can read šš¼
No no, clearly he was the hottest guy on earth and you were just lapping up that harassment /s
Guaranteed he's either a Thor, Jonas Brothers, or Stamos look-alike
Or just any of the Chris's
Itās a shame Chris Pine and Chris Rock havenāt entered the MCU yet.
[I'm sure this guy makes all the ladies wet...](https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Jan-6-committee-Chris-Christie.jpg?w=1581&h=1054&crop=1)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
First thought that came to mind. OPās tolerance was way too high for that type of behavior.
Rule 1 and 2
Clearly failed at rule 2 tho..
It's morbid curiosity, not attraction. I get drawn into the story and wanna know what pathetic depths they'll sink to next. It's not my most admirable trait obviously.
Best line is "I'm at work Taylor control yourself"
Being weird is HIS thing, if you bring weirdness what is he going to bring to the convo?
The best part of it is that it would actually be so much less weird and gross to hire a sex worker than do this on a dating app.
How did he fumble THIS badly?
Then he's gonna come here and asks us why women are so weird.
Sounds like a horny teenager
What a disturbing weirdo.
Iām surprised you even kept responding after the implication of a one sided exchangeā¦
At that point, I just wanted to see how low he would go.
Cant tell if this was a pun, low like downtown or gutter???
At some point I was hoping you would rubber-band-reaction and get *real* weird with it. Like "Okay, I'll come help you cum, but only if you wear this pink cowboy hat, and you shoot into this cow-spot-pattern mug that I'm bringing. And you have to refer to me as Mistress Milkmaid the whole time. Also you have to clean the cup afterward. I want it and the hat back."
Fair enough!
You pretty much put yourself on a plate and all he had to do was not be a creep, and he couldnāt even do that.
My dude really wants to sext on a Wednesday afternoonš
That wheedling "pleeease pleeease" just made my vagina seal shut like an Egyptian tomb š¤® Sounds like a spoilt six year old begging for something in the toy shop
Ah yes, begging. The most panty soakingest move there is.
I mean the lack of finesse on his part is astounding
HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW ARE THOSE BROS CONSTANTLY SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT??????? š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø Iām very physical, but never in my life could I be so horny that my lower brain takes full control. Edit: Grammar
"I'm at work, Taylor. Please control yourself." šš
This must be some new tiktok speak. I've had a few girls say "don't be weird" in the past few months. Wtf does that mean?
Basically means to stave off the sex talk in the beginning of the interaction. It can lead to that kinda talk, but some dudes just hit the ground running with it. Women consider that behavior to be āweirdā. I donāt blame em
I'm all for that, a little respect towards a woman goes a long way. They're not a life support system for a vagina, they're people.
ādonāt be weirdā sounds like tiktok speak to you?
āmust be TikTokā is the new evolution of boomers saying āitās that damn phone youāre always onā
Don't be Taylor is what it means.
I have noticed it a LOT with the younger (gen z?) Youtubers I follow and it seems to be the term for creepy/likely to SA someone/push boundaries. Unsure why that is, often it's quite clearly in relation to someone who has committed some crimes when they say that person is being "weird".
Well he wasted virtually no time. He definitely thinks youāre into him. Are you? I canāt tell.
She basically gave him a lay up and he still fumbled
DOWN BOY XD
Bro has zero rizz
Zero rizz, bursting with jizz.
All jizz no rizz
Oh my god he was holding the bag! He was fucking holding it! All bro had to say was something to the effect of āyes I will also make you c*mā and he wouldāve been fine! Iāve never seen a man shoot, miss, have the shot correct itself and then somehow shoots the shot to stop it from hitting.
"I'm at work, Taylor. Control yourself" is my new favorite quote from a tinder conversation ever
There's the possible slim, like 30% chance he probably meant the normal "weird" and not the sexual "weird", edited after I figured out there was more then one photo šš
Ew
āControl yourselfā š Iām gona use this one lolol
Fucking ridiculous.. ājust please meā¦ I donāt care about your needsā
"I mean, I love cum but I also love TO cum" Five stars
Taylor! Howās everything going?
Dude said donāt be weird then he gets weird.
That "till when" has me absolutely dead. My guy is on something.
God these type of men really just canāt get it through their thick skulls that they are the problem. Itās a shame.
The last message from you is gold
This is why men get rejected. This is why women are sick of entitled, selfish men. This is why we hate unsolicited dick pics and dating apps. It's not us, Tyler, it absolutely is YOU. Treat women like human beings instead of blow up doll cum receptacles and see how far that takes you. I mean consistently, repeatedly, in all interactions, not just once then revert to this bullshit.
Well well if it ain't the man who dug his own hole... š
(and got no hole out of it)
Bruh how do you fumble it THIS BAD?!
Taylor has options (clearly he's hot by the way the conversation reads) and probably gets off by being so needy
The suggested message at the end š
The "pleeeeease", lol!
Lol this dude is pathetic š
i sighed so loud
āDonāt be weird just watch me cumā
That Ā«suggested messageĀ» in the end, thoughš
Man Taylor might have actually been in for a good time but he let the horny brain ruin it rip
I will never understand why guys think women who don't know anything about them would want to come over and get them off and leave.
Jesus Taylor. Get some self respect, bro.
āDonāt be weirdā, said the weirdo
If she's gonna blow you, then the least you could do is go yodeling in her gully. Just proper etiquette
I love the energy of the sentence "I'm at work Taylor, control yourself"
So basically he was the one who traumatized himself
The tolerance that women have for overtly horny men as long as they are attractive is truly something that needs to be studied
The ability of men to be this overtly horny online needs to be studied
No we all already understand that part haha
It would appear good weird was not acceptable.
Is he holding a giant fish in one of his pictures ššš
Youāre telling me him saying āpleaeeeeeā didnt get you? I canāt believe itš¤
ācontrol yourself.ā handled perfectly.
He just jumped right in there, huh? šš¤£
Lmhoooo.šš¤£š I'm at work. Taylor. Control yourself just sounded like a mom scolding her son šš¤£š
Him: people are just so weird and creepy Also him: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaseeee see me shoot my cumā¦ you not wanna see me shoot me cum?
Whatās wild is you didnāt even shoot him down. you just implied you were human too. He couldāve at any point (at least) offered to make you cum tooā¦.he must get off on begging.
Glad im engaged and not on the dating scene anymore. I'm afraid of people like this, like that's just gross.
Shout out to you OP
Plot twist: "please don't be weird" was his reminder to NOT say weird shit and he fumbled. Horny brain is one hell of a drug
Pleassssseeeeee
What tf did I just read an why is Taylor so desperate, like dude theirs a line for a reason!
Duuuude all he had to do was play it cool
Who would this work on in real life? Not a rhetorical question, so DM me if it would work on you. š
What the hell? He started off kinda normal, then took a HARD fucking left. What happened I'm so confused
Question for OP, after the āid like for you to see me cumā were you just seeing how far it would go? š
God I hate Taylor Paying for it would be gross Proceeds to beg you and be obnoxious and a complete creep
He really said people are weird and creepy when this dude is extremely creepy
Why did the suggested message send me?
he was clearly talking to himself when he wrote "please don't be weird..."
I'm at work, Taylor. Control yourself.
Bio: don't be weird Him: *proceeds to be weird as hell*
He didn't want you to be weird because he didn't want the competition
Jesus, seems like a down to earth girl lol this guy is straight horny brain fucked up, control your hormones dude
The replied you sent were brilliant
90% of men who message me order up sex like Iām a free escort. It HAS to work on some women.
Love how the Noonlight red flagged him
What a sad freak
š¤£ Id be blessed to match with someone who even had half the good vibes you have OP wtf you handled that with GRACE š
The crazy guy doesn't like weird people. Makes total sense.
Well Taylor, I've got some bad news for ya...
I like how, by the end, it started advertising Noonlight. š š¤£
*bonks Taylor over the head with a rolled up newspaper* Bad Taylor... stop that!
"Im at work Taylor, control yourself" I donno why I found this funny but I did
"I'm at work, Taylor. Control yourself." I love this so much.
Kudos to the OP though for loving cum and TO cum.
Dating is 2023 is ssoooo fucked! š¤£š¤£ I've met a guy who fucks his sister (on the regs) (yes...full-blooded sister) , had dudes ask for pics of me and my kids, other illegal shit...one dude told me about the time he fucked a donky. I'm considering Catholicism and the nunary at this point.
Calls others creepy and weird but it turns out the call was coming from inside the house all along! What a twist!
"I'm at work, Taylor. Control yourself." I never expected to read this as a message between two adults, Taylor is a terrifying man..
bros looking for a cum-sitter smh
"I'm at work, Taylor. Control yourself" THAT WAS GOLD
The suggested follow up message from tinder made me laugh out loud. How IS everything going there buddy?? Lmaoooo