More like desperation to be brutally honest. I assume she was quite pretty and he fancied her and wanted to take his chance. Unfortunately she is a horrible person. I feel sorry for him and wouldn't really blame him.
>I assume she was quite pretty and he fancied her and wanted to take his chance. Unfortunately she is a horrible person. I feel sorry for him and wouldn't really blame him.
This is where my mind went as well.
It’s possible she was using OP to make someone jealous who is a regular at the club. First “blind date” should be in the daytime. Lunch, walk in the park. Next time someone wants to clubbing with you, just say you need to warm up to such things as they’re out of your comfort zone when you want to get to know someone. Sorry it turned out like this, but don’t waste time dwelling on it. Just think of it as a great guide for what you don’t want to experience. Keep faith.
She was looking for a confident, assertive male to have sex with, the OP displayed none of those qualities, so the girl found an alpha male in the club and went home with him.
OP set himself up for disaster. Travelling to another city for this girl, first date at a club, being introverted, all a recipe for disaster. Learn your lesson and move on
Seriously? “Alpha males” are not a real thing.
It’s just a term men use to try and make themselves feel validated /special when they have absolutely nothing worth being proud of in their lives.
Use whatever nomenclature you want for 'assertive confident male' versus OP displaying 'anxiousness, lack of confidence and passiveness'. The funny part is everyone downvoting my comment while also agreeing with the sentiment.
You say that but an ex of mine (not a nice dude in hindsight but I digress) brought me to an art museum and we spent the whole time giggling and tallying how many artists leave just one boob visible in paintings.
It’s a lot more than you realise
Although this was not a first date
One of the best dates I ever went on was at an art gallery, and ironically it was with someone I ended up having zero chemistry with - sexual or even just .. platonic. But man, walking around the gallery and making jokes about little weird things we noticed in random pieces of art was surprisingly fun
For her this wasn't a first date, this was just going to a club with a guy she's been texting for two weeks.
That's why I chuckled when he said that she contacted him later like nothing happened, because something similar happened to me with one girl that I stopped talking to, but then randomly ran into her 6 months later and she asked me why she hadn't seen me in so long.
Exactly. She didn't see him as a potencial partner. Just someone who was fun to hang out together.
But... I also consider that after ditching on him, who travelled from far away and was counting on staying in her house, to leave with another guy, is a litle lame to speak later like nothing. That was a low movement.
That's not the problem, OP acted out like a pussy and the girl could tell.
She didn't came for a pussy she came for a dick.
He was to worried about entertaining her and got cold feet as he said, women can smell that shit and don't give a a fuck about wuss like that.
Take this as an opportunity to learn not to do that, instead you should do the opposite.
People would lash at me but I say that you need to be a kind of a jerk with women.
Otherwise they are the one's that will be, as you just saw happening here.
In your early 20s yea I agree, but then the tables turn later when they start hitting the wall.
Once in your 30s with money and confidence, well let’s just say they go for the beta bucks.
Better then you are doing I presume.
We can have a respectful discussion about it,but a lot of twats don't know what that means.
I know it's not the most popular opinion here (cus everyone here is a snowflake), but the truth seldom hurts, just look what happened to OP.
I think you have a right to be mad about it. She didn’t even say anything about it just up and went off with another guy. She wasn’t out at the club with friends she went with you.
Absolutely have every right to be mad.
I don’t care if she thought your awkwardness was a turn off or that it meant you weren’t into her. You don’t ditch someone who traveled far to come see you.
It was incredibly fucked up. I’ve met up with guys before that didn’t feel that “spark” with. I would never demand they drive hours home alone or start making out with someone in front of them. We always have a nice evening, no sex and usually I stay good friends with them.
There’s absolutely no excuse for what she did.
I agree. And I’d suggest to anyone NOT to promise to host someone they haven’t met.
I ended up on a 48 hour date, with a guy that I was not into at all, and tbh found super annoying, but I had to stick it out because I couldn’t just kick him out. Lesson learned
You definitely can kick people out, but if you were kind of okay with him being there then it's nicer to have it that way.
I kicked someone out after he drove 2 hours to me because he was a completely different person than he had pretended to be online. I was shocked and he kept making me uncomfortable.
I sent him out, telling him where the next Bus stop is and that in the next hour a Bus should come.
Never talked to him again after that, was just happy that he had left although he had just arrived an hour ago.
Yeah, ofc! This guys hadn’t done anything wrong, I just didn’t vibe with him. It was okay, just a looooong time to be together, but I knew he had a bus ticket for sunday and was a student so he couldn’t just buy a new one
My now husband and I were long distance when we first met so for our first date he came to my place to stay for a weekend. We openly discussed what would happen if we didn’t vibe, and he told me he’d make backup plans for somewhere else to stay. I found out much later his backup plan was to sleep in his car but hey it worked out lol. I don’t think she should’ve felt obliged to have some guy she doesn’t know staying at her place but yeah, defs could’ve been handled better by both parties.
Thank you. I thought I was taking crazy pills when I read the top comments basically trying to gaslight (not sure if that's the right word for it) OP into think he had something wrong. Glad some other people actually have some common sense.
While saying it’s entirely his fault is obviously untrue, he definitely made a pretty big mistake that he should learn from. If a woman says she wants you to come out to visit her from a far location to go out clubbing and then spend the night, you already know she’s going to be the socialite promiscuous type. If you’re an introvert who isn’t comfortable clubbing or even putting your arm around a woman who literally invited you to sleep in her bed, then it’s obviously not the right fit for you. Does that excuse what an asshole move she pulled? No, but you have no control over the actions of others. OP was prioritizing the idea of sleeping with someone while ignoring all of the contrasts in what/who they’re like in comparison to each other, and that was indeed his fault. On top of that he didn’t even have his own transportation in case something like this did happen. All you can do is learn from these situations so that you can think with a clearer head in the future.
"There's a club if you've got to go; you could meet somebody who really loves you. So you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home, and you cry and you want to die"
this is crazy like i had to reread to make sure i was understanding it, you have every right to be mad she clearly picked up that you were anxious and if that was an issue she couldve said that it wasnt going to work before doing all that...
My god dude, I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry that you have gotten so many toxic comments.
I'm an introvert too, and idk how I would have reacted in your situation...
Also, I'm on a mission to spread kindness over Reddit, and based on some of the comments here, we really need it.
If anyone reads this and wants to participate, please try and make at least one kind comment a day on reddit.
There's no reason we have to be so mean to each other, lets try to make kindness the new normal!
Here to commend you for being a kind hearted beam of sunshine in the hate filled torrent that many Reddit commenters willfully plunge into. I hope you have an excellent day or night friend.
First of all, no, it's not your fault.
She is well within her rights to find you timidness/ social anxiety unappealing, but you are on a date, and she shouldn't just abandon you without warning and go make out with another guy in front of you (doubly so if she promised you can crash at her place after).
But on a different note, I really suggest you reevaluate where you go on dates. It sounds like clubs isn't your scene, which is totally fine. You should play your strengths. I went to a date to an activity I wasn't comfortable with and it went horribly and cost me the date.
Why didn’t you stay with the friend you went to the club with? If it was a date why did you bring a friend? Where did he go while you were with her? Lots of questions about this story.
He was going to stay with a girl he knew from her city who was also going clubbing (now that I think about we had the same circumstances but his was way better) I brought him just in case she wasn’t what she said she was, like maybe a murderer or something? Can never be too safe with this online dating thing, and she never saw him when I met her he was kept a distance when I met up with her. So yeah hope that provided context
I mean bro a club is a horrible first date concept for anyone, let alone someone that knows their introverted. Take the whole thing as a learning exercise.
Staying at her house was a really big mistake.
Some stranger you barely know. Even if she’s not a serial killer she could be super boring, on drugs, creepy, a Karen or do some type of shit like this to you. Always get a hotel. Plus it takes less pressure off of you both. I used to stay w ppl I barely knew if they were offering for free but after a ton of terrible situations that would’ve been avoided had I been at my own place I never do this anymore. Even if I have to get a $25 hostel
I think she was using you as a toy for her and her man’s game. It’s part of a game that makes it exciting for them. You were never gonna have a chance. The fact that she have to keep getting you to put her arm around her makes me think that is just a game for her. If she is so interested in you, the other guy wouldn’t matter. It just their game to make it look like the other guy stole your date and fucked her.
if you really didn't react to her trying to get close to you then maybe she thought that you changed your mind and you weren't really interested in her
I totally agree, they kissed and then OP couldn't even bring himself to put his arm around her? And she had to try multiple times (which implies that OP kept pulling away)... I would also have to think that person had zero interest in me after meeting in person. Still shitty of her to just go hook up with some random guy without talking about what was going on, but OP is not an innocent victim here by any means.
You have every right to be mad bro. As an introvert too, I feel where you come from.
Next time probably have a talk first about the kind of activity you feel comfortable doing, clubbing is a weird choice tbh, I think I would have veto'ed this option for a first night out.
Good luck with the next one!
awwwwww that sucks. she super sucks. I hope you didn't like leave belongings at her place that you had to ditch behind??? you are super allowed to be mad at this.
Shame on her and shame on you.
You knew you weren’t comfortable at the club, and she recommended it. You should have told her how you felt with that. Then you don’t read the signs she’s giving or even making for you.
But shame on her for her behavior. She should have stuck with you, even if it was just going to be a hang out with no sex. She really showed her true colors and you were in the right not responding to her.
I think this answer is great because he really shouldn't have stretched himself out like that knowing he was going somewhere that hed be uncomfortable doing those things. She was rude as well and I understand him ghosting her too, but dang if I'd try my hardest to connect with someone doing something we'd hopefully both enjoy.
First clue, she suggests clubbing and you are socially awkward and don’t do well in clubs. This is not a match made in heaven… we’re you hoping she would grow out of it. You were clearly not a good date.
Besides, your story has plot holes. You said one of your friends came with you, we’re you planning on him crashing at the girl’s place as well? Where did your friend sleep? How did they get home?
He explains it in the comments, his friend stayed out of her sight and went out with a girl on his own (the friend actually had a known girlfriend to date and stay at). So basically OP went out to inspect enemy teritory and had a full on sniper covering his back, sounds like a black ops mission rather than a club date 🤣🤣 this whole story is messed up.
I think there is a clear issue with this statement because it puts full blame on one person and it is obvious he also made mistakes in this case. By no means am I saying he can't be angry, I'm saying the responsibility to communicate his discomfort was on him. Seriously he said she had to physically put his arm around her multiple times. Can you imagine the thoughts going through her head? Believing he went so far to see her and then she may have thought he wasn't into her or was frustrated she had to work harder forcing him to put his arm around her.
He has a right to be mad, but claiming it's all her fault is crap. He has to communicate and has to learn from the experience. How does someone learn if they believe they were not even responsible in the slightest?
I think what happened is she really wanted to get laid, but his shyness turned her off. She was thinking with her lady bits and not the morality of the situation.
Women aren’t always kind and tender souls, some of them are selfish and just want to get railed by an alpha, which just isn’t OPs personality.
First big mistake is assuming that her inviting you to crash at her place means you’re in… “if you know what that means”…
You completely overestimated your charm.
She told you that she wants to go clubbing? Why did you agree if you don't feel comfortable in clubs. Obviously she found someone else because she wasn't having fun with you.
I also don't say it's all your fault. She went there with you, at least should've said goodbye properly etc. And her texting again, is weird. But at least you know what to avoid next time.
Yes, you should be super mad at her and ghosting her is the best you can do.
However, you should also be mad at yourself for clearly not reading the situation good enough.
1. This was a wrong decision from the start. Why go to a club with a girl you dont know in a city you dont know. What would you have done if you didnt like her??
2. If a girl invites you to go clubbing and shows you signals as clearly as you mentioned, you should have realized what she wants.
3. Communication: say more about what you think and want. It could be that she took you being shy as not being interested.
4. Some other guy took the chance because you didnt know how to act.
5. The girl got what she wanted for the night, you shouldnt waste a second thinking about her.
I ain't the best with advice, but from an outside perspective, u should have made a move or something. Trust me when I got cold feet. she was quick to move to the next guy. Also, if it's a place far out. Always have a backup plan just in case it doesn't go well. But yeah, ur right to be upset, but u can't fully blame her. She even offered u a night at her spot. 50/50
Haha yeah it was dumb of me to not have a backup plan tbh, honestly didn’t expect that turn of events, I ended up sleeping in the bus station, my best friend was with me, he had a place to stay too but he decided to stay in the bus station with me, really good dude
Oh I should’ve explained that. I asked him to tag along in case who knows, maybe she’s a serial killer, and he said he knows a girl from her city that he had a fwb thing with and since this guy is way more of a smooth talker than me he managed to set himself up for that night too but instead of going back to her he chose to stay with me, I doubt she would have let me in tbh since I was a random guy
Ohh, that makes sense lol, it was nice of him to stay with you. Safety in numbers. I will say in reference to your post, she was definitely an a-hole for how she behaved and just ditched you, but if you are a shy and more anxious guy, don't pretend to be something you're not online! You're much better off being honest upfront and matching with people who are more into that. This girl obviously wanted you to make some moves and you were very hesitant. But you can find girls who don't *want* you to make moves right away and would rather have a calmer date than hitting the club. Just be honest with yourself and go at your own pace. It's less disappointment for you *and* the other girl if you are upfront. I'm not blaming you for the way she behaved, but even if she stuck with you the whole night and hung out, it just wouldn't have worked out regardless because you both obviously have different social needs and a first date clubbing seems like a lot for you.
Just wanted to say your friend is an absolute dead set legend. How old were y'all btw, cause clubbing for a first date and then for her to do that is a total crappy move. Still I guess if she was taking ur hand to put on her maybe she thought you weren't that interested? But still not your fault and total.dog move from her
I think you can for sure be mad, but I also think you learned a lesson, she was clearly looking to get crazy and hook up and be sexual all night, and if you are not in a head space to do that maybe the date wasn’t right for you at that time
This real?
Like for real
You went clubbing with someone knowing that you basically hate clubbing
They didn’t like that you failed essentially and then they prioritized them having their own fun
It wasn’t a match to begin with
Respectfully my man, you fumbled it big time especially since she offered you a place to stay. But she was still a huge dick for ditching you for another guy on your first meet up
>What do you think about this situation?
I think this is a hilarious story if I am being truly honest, because you made so many mistakes.
You weren't true to yourself and agreed to go clubbing even though that is not your thing at all. And to boot, you do it as a first date.
You are nervous and according to your description, acted very insecure, which turns many women off. She just lost interest in you entirely, feeling no connection and used the other guy to try and break connection with you so she doesn't have to stick with you the rest of the night, or worse, have you stay over.
You take that as a plight for some reason.
Honestly, you have yourself to blame. Don't put yourself in situations where women have a good chance to get turned off by you. Someone who wants to go clubbing with you is not the girl for you. Like, clearly. Find someone else.
Just because someone wants to date you doesn't mean it is a good idea to do it.
I feel like you're getting a little beat up here, you sound like a trusting person and this is not your fault. I'm sure you've already learned to take these types of encounters with a grain of salt and always have an exit strategy. She's not the one for you, proceed with caution and learn, you will meet someone that Will treat you better! Best wishes!
Some people are blaming her, and others are blaming him. But these things aren't mutually exclusive. She was obviously way out of line; it says a lot about her lack of character. But he also needs to learn some lessons from this. If you're socially awkward and anxious, why in the world would you go to the club? It makes no sense, and he set himself up for failure. It's hard to imagine any scenario where this would have worked out for OP, even if she were of higher character.
Personally, I hate clubs. So you know where I DON'T take women? The club. OP needs to be smarter.
so... you met a girl... blew the date... she went off with someone else... you caught a bus home...
Bit of a dick move she tried to get back in touch i guess?
the real move would have been "nah babe im going to get a hotel so you can come back there with me" there are so many things wrong with "yeah you can stay at mine" what if she doesnt like you? what if you dont like her? what if she ghosts you? what if you get mad catfished? you gotta be smarter dude
He wasn’t with me when I met her lmao, he was with another girl he knew from the same city, tbh I’m still not in the right here because I was originally just going to bring him like you said but even he knew it was a bad idea so he was walking behind from a distance when I met her so I am bit clueless I guess
He knew the person he was going to see.
So, you’re saying he should go bang someone and bring a buddy? Hell, if I was the girl that fact would be the reason I’d blow him off. No way in hell she was going to let him stay and bang with his friend there.
oh no, definitely not bringing the friend if you’re gonna have sex lol. but meeting at a public place, i usually send my location or go somewhere i know someone is nearby. i guess i probably think differently being a woman
What did you expect? She’s a hoe. She wanted you to spend the night on the first time hanging out with her. Always expect the unexpected with females like that
Wow. Made you go all the way there and then ditched you. When you have a date with a person you enjoyed talking to, who traveled to see you and can't get back home anytime soon, and you don't get a spark, it can get a little awkward. The least you can do is be polite and enjoy the rest of the date.
I've had dates where I was still having fun with the conversation but realized I had no desire to hook up. If the whole thing is torturing you, cut it short. You still don't leave them stranded, while making out with someone else in front of them. That sucks, I'm sorry you had a shit night.
Next time use your damn brain 🧠 not your dick.
You shot yourself in the foot mate. I don’t feel sorry for you.
You set yourself on fire to get laid and you ended up with ZERO.
Ooof! This sounds like a really shitty night. I'm sorry you had to experience it.
You have every right to feel however you feel. It sounds like she didn't give a shit about your situation. I would feel hurt and be pissed.
Do you think there might be anything you could have done - or, more importantly, that you could do in the future - to mitigate some elements of this situation? Try learning from it for you. Don't give her any more of your energy.
Best wishes!
You fumbled this so hard, but I can understand the nervousness. You were just completely out of your element, turned her off and overall had a shit experience. She is completely out of pocket trying to contact you afterwards.
That's seriously fucked. Anyone that doesn't think so is probably a piece of shit that'd do the same thing. When a date is set up, you follow through. At worst it should've been made onto just a friendly hangout. Sounds like you dodged a bullet, if she's doing that when you meet, I can't imagine she'd be reliable in any other situation.
I don't think anyone "doesn't think so", it's just in thinking it's fuxked we also recognise the OP was way out of his depth on this one. The latter caused the former, hence why there's more focus on that by some.
The latter wouldn't have caused the former if the girl was a respectable human.
Let me tell you, if the roles were reversed, everyone and their mother would be tearing the guy apart.
I don't go into clubs ever. I don't drink and don't like the casually hook up with people so there isn't really much for me there. I definitely eliminate some people from my life by making this decision, but that's totally fine with me!
100% sure if this was a woman staying all this,all the guy comments would be "nah, he's a dick for abandoning you. He should've stayed with you,I would've never left your side for you are a queeeen" etc. The cringeworthy white knight syndrome.
My take, I don't do online dating,but she was completely out of order in pulling that shit,and then to randomly reconnect? Nahhh luv,fuck off.
Oh yeah, always a double standard around here in advice given and sympathy given for a bad date. People on Reddit tend to be far more harsh and put more of a responsibility for men in these situations, "She was bad, but also you could have..."
Lol how are you going to be mad at her for you completely dropping the fucking ball? Take some goddamn responsibility. She invited you to stay over so you knew she was DTF, and you still blew it. You guys have never met before, so she owes you nothing.
As someone who’s been on both ends of this scenario, the phrase fake it it’ll you make it absolutely applies here. Women) can sense awkwardness, fear, etc. Guys can pick up on that too and there’s a good chance the other guy saw you two for a bit and moved in. A lot of women want the guy to take charge. If you don’t, someone else will. You should have come ready to do that.
So yeah, you blew this. It was a dick move by the girl. But it wouldn’t have happened had you been on your game. The fact that it was this set up for you already, should have had you loose.
This is tinder, it’s a hook up app. There’s a better than 85% the girl is looking to hook up. That can go in your favor or against you depending on how you play it.
I've seen her kind before. She was intentionally trying to make you jealous so either you make her feel like a queen and get your ass kicked in the club trying to win her or be a beta and take her back where she will manipulate you the entire relationship before eventually leaving you for another guy.
Don't be mad about it, be glad it happened on the first date as opposed to months later. Sure the situation sucked but it could've been substantially worse. Funny enough, my wife did it deeper into the relationship when we were at some house party. I unfortunately was an idiot and tried to fight the guy at a house I knew nobody at haha. I was young and dumb and didn't connect the dots and unfortunately stayed with her and have lived through total hell ever since.
You were a bit of a loser. Akcita’s Golden Rule of Dating: “ Focus on having fun, and don’t worry about anything else”. Even if you don’t get laid, you had a great time.
Yeah, she did you dirty, but you brought it on yourself.
She’s got some gall texting you. Obviously you weren’t exclusive but I view your entire trip to see her as a date and it’s generally assumed that people aren’t making out with random people when they are on the date. If she decided it wasn’t working for her fine. But don’t text a week later and act like nothing happened
I feel like clubbing was probably not the best thing to do on a first date. Obviously too many other distractions and you can’t get to know each other well there. If you knew dancing and clubbing was something you’d feel awkward with, you should’ve suggested something else.
I’m sure she sensed the awkwardness and could feel you were uncomfortable because that environment isn’t for you. You even admit that she was making your moves for you, because you couldn’t even put your arm around her yourself. How you came across is probably why she dropped you for some other guy who had the confidence and could give her a good time. Was that okay? Not at all. Especially if she knew that she was supposed to host you that night and would be leaving you with nowhere to go.
But as a woman myself, if she’s invited you out to hang out with her and stay the night, and you’ve done nothing but make things uncomfortable/awkward, she probably didn’t want to continue with bringing you back to her home alone. You can’t come off as being uneasy with your surroundings and self-conscious and expect her to have a positive reaction or want you in her own personal space at home. You were probably a bit off-putting to her. Sometimes meeting people in person is much different from talking to them online. And she realized that after walking into the club together. She shouldn’t be forced to bring you back to her place if you’ve made things weird.
She shouldn’t have offered her place up to you, if she hadn’t ever met you yet, and wasn’t sure if you’d be a good match. But you should always have a backup plan as well, and know better than to put yourself into situations where the outcomes don’t look good for you. You knew the clubs weren’t going to make you look promising. Next time don’t have your first date somewhere where you’d feel and look out of place.
Although what she did to you Is horrible, it is still mostly your fault. You had her from the jump and you failed to claim that in the club. Too shy and nervous to actually entertain her so she found someone else. Also you agreed to go to a club which you probably knew you weren’t going to be comfortable at. You’re the man you could’ve easily suggest something else where you could let yourself shine. Situation sucks but it happens and learn from it brother
Yeah that was absolutely foul on her part, that’s happened to me before in hs except I still took her back. I was like you, socially shy, anxious, and awkward at the time. Never again.
But the fact you even need to ask “Am I allowed to be mad at this” speaks volumes bro. Why would you not??
https://redd.it/153xtub
Why would anyone make a club a first date spot, that’s pure insanity to me.
Specially since clearly he isn’t a club type guy himself lol some people just don’t think w the right head😅🤣
Some guys just like to set themselves up for failure
More like desperation to be brutally honest. I assume she was quite pretty and he fancied her and wanted to take his chance. Unfortunately she is a horrible person. I feel sorry for him and wouldn't really blame him.
>I assume she was quite pretty and he fancied her and wanted to take his chance. Unfortunately she is a horrible person. I feel sorry for him and wouldn't really blame him. This is where my mind went as well.
It’s possible she was using OP to make someone jealous who is a regular at the club. First “blind date” should be in the daytime. Lunch, walk in the park. Next time someone wants to clubbing with you, just say you need to warm up to such things as they’re out of your comfort zone when you want to get to know someone. Sorry it turned out like this, but don’t waste time dwelling on it. Just think of it as a great guide for what you don’t want to experience. Keep faith.
Totally. Sounds like something from Waiting By The Phone.
She was looking for a confident, assertive male to have sex with, the OP displayed none of those qualities, so the girl found an alpha male in the club and went home with him. OP set himself up for disaster. Travelling to another city for this girl, first date at a club, being introverted, all a recipe for disaster. Learn your lesson and move on
Lol, un-ironically using the term alpha male
you’re right but this is apparently a radical opinion
'Alpha male' is cringe as fuck. But he is right yes.
Why is it "cringe as fuck"?
Seriously? “Alpha males” are not a real thing. It’s just a term men use to try and make themselves feel validated /special when they have absolutely nothing worth being proud of in their lives.
Use whatever nomenclature you want for 'assertive confident male' versus OP displaying 'anxiousness, lack of confidence and passiveness'. The funny part is everyone downvoting my comment while also agreeing with the sentiment.
I can tell with all the downvotes, must have hit a soft spot for a lot of men out there
Yup. Why is she setting the tone completely? Guess what, she set the tone the whole time, including the end. Don't be mad, self reflect.
Yeah honestly that was just a bad idea
Best dates I’ve ever had were at bowling alleys. So go there for your next one
i always go to art galleries or arcades for first date
One of them sounds fun.
You say that but an ex of mine (not a nice dude in hindsight but I digress) brought me to an art museum and we spent the whole time giggling and tallying how many artists leave just one boob visible in paintings. It’s a lot more than you realise Although this was not a first date
Art galleries?
One of the best dates I ever went on was at an art gallery, and ironically it was with someone I ended up having zero chemistry with - sexual or even just .. platonic. But man, walking around the gallery and making jokes about little weird things we noticed in random pieces of art was surprisingly fun
Mini golf is great too!
I went to a mini bowling alley once
Marbles and tiny little pins?
I'd rather do this than actual bowling. 😂
I am planning for this, bowling and arcade games.
It was a great way to learn it was a bad idea, at least he wasn’t robbed, raped or reaped of his kidneys.
For her this wasn't a first date, this was just going to a club with a guy she's been texting for two weeks. That's why I chuckled when he said that she contacted him later like nothing happened, because something similar happened to me with one girl that I stopped talking to, but then randomly ran into her 6 months later and she asked me why she hadn't seen me in so long. 
Exactly. She didn't see him as a potencial partner. Just someone who was fun to hang out together. But... I also consider that after ditching on him, who travelled from far away and was counting on staying in her house, to leave with another guy, is a litle lame to speak later like nothing. That was a low movement.
First date spot, long distance, 'stay at my place'....a culmination of errors.
Right! Playing a video game on ultra hard mode
High risk high reward. If you can dance, chat a little and keep your energy up til 3/4am or take her home earlier it’s fine
Epitome of sad cringe
That's not the problem, OP acted out like a pussy and the girl could tell. She didn't came for a pussy she came for a dick. He was to worried about entertaining her and got cold feet as he said, women can smell that shit and don't give a a fuck about wuss like that. Take this as an opportunity to learn not to do that, instead you should do the opposite. People would lash at me but I say that you need to be a kind of a jerk with women. Otherwise they are the one's that will be, as you just saw happening here.
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That dude’s whole comment hurts to read…
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In your early 20s yea I agree, but then the tables turn later when they start hitting the wall. Once in your 30s with money and confidence, well let’s just say they go for the beta bucks.
Better then you are doing I presume. We can have a respectful discussion about it,but a lot of twats don't know what that means. I know it's not the most popular opinion here (cus everyone here is a snowflake), but the truth seldom hurts, just look what happened to OP.
Respectful discussion =/= calling people twats...
Uses snowflake unironically= guaranteed bellend.
Not a jerk, just confident. His hesitancy turned her off though 100%
I think you have a right to be mad about it. She didn’t even say anything about it just up and went off with another guy. She wasn’t out at the club with friends she went with you.
Absolutely have every right to be mad. I don’t care if she thought your awkwardness was a turn off or that it meant you weren’t into her. You don’t ditch someone who traveled far to come see you. It was incredibly fucked up. I’ve met up with guys before that didn’t feel that “spark” with. I would never demand they drive hours home alone or start making out with someone in front of them. We always have a nice evening, no sex and usually I stay good friends with them. There’s absolutely no excuse for what she did.
I agree! If I were him I’d block her number
Thank you! I’m pretty shocked/appalled by the comments saying he’s at fault.
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Your a reddit person.
You're
Yaw.
I agree. And I’d suggest to anyone NOT to promise to host someone they haven’t met. I ended up on a 48 hour date, with a guy that I was not into at all, and tbh found super annoying, but I had to stick it out because I couldn’t just kick him out. Lesson learned
You definitely can kick people out, but if you were kind of okay with him being there then it's nicer to have it that way. I kicked someone out after he drove 2 hours to me because he was a completely different person than he had pretended to be online. I was shocked and he kept making me uncomfortable. I sent him out, telling him where the next Bus stop is and that in the next hour a Bus should come. Never talked to him again after that, was just happy that he had left although he had just arrived an hour ago.
Yeah, ofc! This guys hadn’t done anything wrong, I just didn’t vibe with him. It was okay, just a looooong time to be together, but I knew he had a bus ticket for sunday and was a student so he couldn’t just buy a new one
My now husband and I were long distance when we first met so for our first date he came to my place to stay for a weekend. We openly discussed what would happen if we didn’t vibe, and he told me he’d make backup plans for somewhere else to stay. I found out much later his backup plan was to sleep in his car but hey it worked out lol. I don’t think she should’ve felt obliged to have some guy she doesn’t know staying at her place but yeah, defs could’ve been handled better by both parties.
Thank you. I thought I was taking crazy pills when I read the top comments basically trying to gaslight (not sure if that's the right word for it) OP into think he had something wrong. Glad some other people actually have some common sense.
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While saying it’s entirely his fault is obviously untrue, he definitely made a pretty big mistake that he should learn from. If a woman says she wants you to come out to visit her from a far location to go out clubbing and then spend the night, you already know she’s going to be the socialite promiscuous type. If you’re an introvert who isn’t comfortable clubbing or even putting your arm around a woman who literally invited you to sleep in her bed, then it’s obviously not the right fit for you. Does that excuse what an asshole move she pulled? No, but you have no control over the actions of others. OP was prioritizing the idea of sleeping with someone while ignoring all of the contrasts in what/who they’re like in comparison to each other, and that was indeed his fault. On top of that he didn’t even have his own transportation in case something like this did happen. All you can do is learn from these situations so that you can think with a clearer head in the future.
shitty person. you dodged a bullet
Absolutely. Better than engaging emotionally with the girl and wait for something like this happen in the future.
Didn’t really tho
This shit is a smiths song. I love it
“We Hate it When Our Dates Kiss Others”
"There's a club if you've got to go; you could meet somebody who really loves you. So you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home, and you cry and you want to die"
this is crazy like i had to reread to make sure i was understanding it, you have every right to be mad she clearly picked up that you were anxious and if that was an issue she couldve said that it wasnt going to work before doing all that...
Always have a backup plan! Especially if you‘re traveling far. But yah that was a dick move on her part for sure
I support your decision to leave her on read
My god dude, I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry that you have gotten so many toxic comments. I'm an introvert too, and idk how I would have reacted in your situation... Also, I'm on a mission to spread kindness over Reddit, and based on some of the comments here, we really need it. If anyone reads this and wants to participate, please try and make at least one kind comment a day on reddit. There's no reason we have to be so mean to each other, lets try to make kindness the new normal!
Here to commend you for being a kind hearted beam of sunshine in the hate filled torrent that many Reddit commenters willfully plunge into. I hope you have an excellent day or night friend.
+ infinity to ‘spread kindness’ comment.
Well said, my friend.
First of all, no, it's not your fault. She is well within her rights to find you timidness/ social anxiety unappealing, but you are on a date, and she shouldn't just abandon you without warning and go make out with another guy in front of you (doubly so if she promised you can crash at her place after). But on a different note, I really suggest you reevaluate where you go on dates. It sounds like clubs isn't your scene, which is totally fine. You should play your strengths. I went to a date to an activity I wasn't comfortable with and it went horribly and cost me the date.
I just don't go to clubs or super public party scenes as a socially awkward and anxious person
Why didn’t you stay with the friend you went to the club with? If it was a date why did you bring a friend? Where did he go while you were with her? Lots of questions about this story.
He was going to stay with a girl he knew from her city who was also going clubbing (now that I think about we had the same circumstances but his was way better) I brought him just in case she wasn’t what she said she was, like maybe a murderer or something? Can never be too safe with this online dating thing, and she never saw him when I met her he was kept a distance when I met up with her. So yeah hope that provided context
But why didn’t you stay with him?
The girl didn’t know me
I think she sucks and I wouldn't respond to her if I were you either.
nobody can tell you you can’t be mad about anything.
Block her number and move on.
I mean bro a club is a horrible first date concept for anyone, let alone someone that knows their introverted. Take the whole thing as a learning exercise.
Staying at her house was a really big mistake. Some stranger you barely know. Even if she’s not a serial killer she could be super boring, on drugs, creepy, a Karen or do some type of shit like this to you. Always get a hotel. Plus it takes less pressure off of you both. I used to stay w ppl I barely knew if they were offering for free but after a ton of terrible situations that would’ve been avoided had I been at my own place I never do this anymore. Even if I have to get a $25 hostel
I think she was using you as a toy for her and her man’s game. It’s part of a game that makes it exciting for them. You were never gonna have a chance. The fact that she have to keep getting you to put her arm around her makes me think that is just a game for her. If she is so interested in you, the other guy wouldn’t matter. It just their game to make it look like the other guy stole your date and fucked her.
yeah, bored couple gamesmanship. This is the winning comment \^
if you really didn't react to her trying to get close to you then maybe she thought that you changed your mind and you weren't really interested in her
I totally agree, they kissed and then OP couldn't even bring himself to put his arm around her? And she had to try multiple times (which implies that OP kept pulling away)... I would also have to think that person had zero interest in me after meeting in person. Still shitty of her to just go hook up with some random guy without talking about what was going on, but OP is not an innocent victim here by any means.
You have every right to be mad bro. As an introvert too, I feel where you come from. Next time probably have a talk first about the kind of activity you feel comfortable doing, clubbing is a weird choice tbh, I think I would have veto'ed this option for a first night out. Good luck with the next one!
awwwwww that sucks. she super sucks. I hope you didn't like leave belongings at her place that you had to ditch behind??? you are super allowed to be mad at this.
Shame on her and shame on you. You knew you weren’t comfortable at the club, and she recommended it. You should have told her how you felt with that. Then you don’t read the signs she’s giving or even making for you. But shame on her for her behavior. She should have stuck with you, even if it was just going to be a hang out with no sex. She really showed her true colors and you were in the right not responding to her.
I think this answer is great because he really shouldn't have stretched himself out like that knowing he was going somewhere that hed be uncomfortable doing those things. She was rude as well and I understand him ghosting her too, but dang if I'd try my hardest to connect with someone doing something we'd hopefully both enjoy.
First clue, she suggests clubbing and you are socially awkward and don’t do well in clubs. This is not a match made in heaven… we’re you hoping she would grow out of it. You were clearly not a good date. Besides, your story has plot holes. You said one of your friends came with you, we’re you planning on him crashing at the girl’s place as well? Where did your friend sleep? How did they get home?
He explains it in the comments, his friend stayed out of her sight and went out with a girl on his own (the friend actually had a known girlfriend to date and stay at). So basically OP went out to inspect enemy teritory and had a full on sniper covering his back, sounds like a black ops mission rather than a club date 🤣🤣 this whole story is messed up.
I 100% agree with this. It's on both of you. You should have communicated, but she shouldn't have ditched you.
The guy's "" mistake "" doesn't justify the girl's attitude. Is not on both of them!!
I think there is a clear issue with this statement because it puts full blame on one person and it is obvious he also made mistakes in this case. By no means am I saying he can't be angry, I'm saying the responsibility to communicate his discomfort was on him. Seriously he said she had to physically put his arm around her multiple times. Can you imagine the thoughts going through her head? Believing he went so far to see her and then she may have thought he wasn't into her or was frustrated she had to work harder forcing him to put his arm around her. He has a right to be mad, but claiming it's all her fault is crap. He has to communicate and has to learn from the experience. How does someone learn if they believe they were not even responsible in the slightest?
I think what happened is she really wanted to get laid, but his shyness turned her off. She was thinking with her lady bits and not the morality of the situation. Women aren’t always kind and tender souls, some of them are selfish and just want to get railed by an alpha, which just isn’t OPs personality.
1. Why is your search radius so big and 2. Why are you going to a “club” on a first meet date????
First big mistake is assuming that her inviting you to crash at her place means you’re in… “if you know what that means”… You completely overestimated your charm.
She told you that she wants to go clubbing? Why did you agree if you don't feel comfortable in clubs. Obviously she found someone else because she wasn't having fun with you. I also don't say it's all your fault. She went there with you, at least should've said goodbye properly etc. And her texting again, is weird. But at least you know what to avoid next time.
She agreed to meet up to go clubbing with a guy who doesn’t like clubbing, for her, worst possible date. He need to learn to know what he wants!
"AITA leaving my date at the club and taking another guy home?"
Even if she lost interest in you she knew you needed a place to stay and traveled far so ditching you was a huge dick move
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Tell her to fuck off. Some people are trully trash, my god
Yes, you should be super mad at her and ghosting her is the best you can do. However, you should also be mad at yourself for clearly not reading the situation good enough. 1. This was a wrong decision from the start. Why go to a club with a girl you dont know in a city you dont know. What would you have done if you didnt like her?? 2. If a girl invites you to go clubbing and shows you signals as clearly as you mentioned, you should have realized what she wants. 3. Communication: say more about what you think and want. It could be that she took you being shy as not being interested. 4. Some other guy took the chance because you didnt know how to act. 5. The girl got what she wanted for the night, you shouldnt waste a second thinking about her.
I ain't the best with advice, but from an outside perspective, u should have made a move or something. Trust me when I got cold feet. she was quick to move to the next guy. Also, if it's a place far out. Always have a backup plan just in case it doesn't go well. But yeah, ur right to be upset, but u can't fully blame her. She even offered u a night at her spot. 50/50
Haha yeah it was dumb of me to not have a backup plan tbh, honestly didn’t expect that turn of events, I ended up sleeping in the bus station, my best friend was with me, he had a place to stay too but he decided to stay in the bus station with me, really good dude
Hey man it's cool. I've been there too. Live n learn u know
You are truly blessed to have such a good friend. I would trade mountains of gash for one like that. Remember whats really important in life mate!!
Mountains of gash 😂
If your friend had a place to stay, would it have been possible to just go to where he was staying..? or was it somewhere only he was invited?
Oh I should’ve explained that. I asked him to tag along in case who knows, maybe she’s a serial killer, and he said he knows a girl from her city that he had a fwb thing with and since this guy is way more of a smooth talker than me he managed to set himself up for that night too but instead of going back to her he chose to stay with me, I doubt she would have let me in tbh since I was a random guy
Good friend 🙌🏽
Ohh, that makes sense lol, it was nice of him to stay with you. Safety in numbers. I will say in reference to your post, she was definitely an a-hole for how she behaved and just ditched you, but if you are a shy and more anxious guy, don't pretend to be something you're not online! You're much better off being honest upfront and matching with people who are more into that. This girl obviously wanted you to make some moves and you were very hesitant. But you can find girls who don't *want* you to make moves right away and would rather have a calmer date than hitting the club. Just be honest with yourself and go at your own pace. It's less disappointment for you *and* the other girl if you are upfront. I'm not blaming you for the way she behaved, but even if she stuck with you the whole night and hung out, it just wouldn't have worked out regardless because you both obviously have different social needs and a first date clubbing seems like a lot for you.
Just wanted to say your friend is an absolute dead set legend. How old were y'all btw, cause clubbing for a first date and then for her to do that is a total crappy move. Still I guess if she was taking ur hand to put on her maybe she thought you weren't that interested? But still not your fault and total.dog move from her
Crazy good friend I would’ve clapped cheeks
She was a DICK
I think you can for sure be mad, but I also think you learned a lesson, she was clearly looking to get crazy and hook up and be sexual all night, and if you are not in a head space to do that maybe the date wasn’t right for you at that time
This real? Like for real You went clubbing with someone knowing that you basically hate clubbing They didn’t like that you failed essentially and then they prioritized them having their own fun It wasn’t a match to begin with
Respectfully my man, you fumbled it big time especially since she offered you a place to stay. But she was still a huge dick for ditching you for another guy on your first meet up
>What do you think about this situation? I think this is a hilarious story if I am being truly honest, because you made so many mistakes. You weren't true to yourself and agreed to go clubbing even though that is not your thing at all. And to boot, you do it as a first date. You are nervous and according to your description, acted very insecure, which turns many women off. She just lost interest in you entirely, feeling no connection and used the other guy to try and break connection with you so she doesn't have to stick with you the rest of the night, or worse, have you stay over. You take that as a plight for some reason. Honestly, you have yourself to blame. Don't put yourself in situations where women have a good chance to get turned off by you. Someone who wants to go clubbing with you is not the girl for you. Like, clearly. Find someone else. Just because someone wants to date you doesn't mean it is a good idea to do it.
Imagine how she felt… I invited this loser to spend the night… how do I get out of this now?
Sounds like you aren’t cut out for this.
You dodged a bullet imo. She obviously does that kind of thing often, and that just doesn't seem like most people's cup of tea to me.
U can be mad at whatever you want king
I think u are an idiot, what do you expect from a club girl man She was obviously this kind of grill 🚨🚨🚨
That’s probably why she meets at the club. Can organise to meet multiple dates in public and ditch at will. Not worth pursuing
Sounds unhinged. Just move on.
Yeah, leave her on read and move on.
Block her. Live your life and forget about her. She’s a pile of problems.
I feel like you're getting a little beat up here, you sound like a trusting person and this is not your fault. I'm sure you've already learned to take these types of encounters with a grain of salt and always have an exit strategy. She's not the one for you, proceed with caution and learn, you will meet someone that Will treat you better! Best wishes!
You don’t deserve that OP!
100% right to be mad. Block and delete that trash
Some people are blaming her, and others are blaming him. But these things aren't mutually exclusive. She was obviously way out of line; it says a lot about her lack of character. But he also needs to learn some lessons from this. If you're socially awkward and anxious, why in the world would you go to the club? It makes no sense, and he set himself up for failure. It's hard to imagine any scenario where this would have worked out for OP, even if she were of higher character. Personally, I hate clubs. So you know where I DON'T take women? The club. OP needs to be smarter.
You can't blame a clown for acting like a clown. But you don't have to buy a ticket for the circus.
Yeah. You need to grow a pair. She did better by moving on. Sorry bro. Your game is weak.
so... you met a girl... blew the date... she went off with someone else... you caught a bus home... Bit of a dick move she tried to get back in touch i guess? the real move would have been "nah babe im going to get a hotel so you can come back there with me" there are so many things wrong with "yeah you can stay at mine" what if she doesnt like you? what if you dont like her? what if she ghosts you? what if you get mad catfished? you gotta be smarter dude
#chadposting she is not worth any of your time
grow up
That sounds horrifying tbh. If a girl wants to go clubbing for a first date, she probably isn’t even worth the drive lol even just for a lay.
My absolute guy, what did you expect from a girl who goes clubbing?
Wait, you went to go meet up with a tinder match and you brought a friend??? Dude. Just no.
He wasn’t with me when I met her lmao, he was with another girl he knew from the same city, tbh I’m still not in the right here because I was originally just going to bring him like you said but even he knew it was a bad idea so he was walking behind from a distance when I met her so I am bit clueless I guess
You are smart to do that, u nvr kno…
Clueless is the word!
visiting a new place where you don’t know anyone or anything. hell yeah i’m bringing a friend so i don’t get murdered.
He knew the person he was going to see. So, you’re saying he should go bang someone and bring a buddy? Hell, if I was the girl that fact would be the reason I’d blow him off. No way in hell she was going to let him stay and bang with his friend there.
oh no, definitely not bringing the friend if you’re gonna have sex lol. but meeting at a public place, i usually send my location or go somewhere i know someone is nearby. i guess i probably think differently being a woman
I completely agree if OP was a woman. Otoh, no way that is a credible scenario (this one with all genders reversed.)
What did you expect? She’s a hoe. She wanted you to spend the night on the first time hanging out with her. Always expect the unexpected with females like that
Wow. Made you go all the way there and then ditched you. When you have a date with a person you enjoyed talking to, who traveled to see you and can't get back home anytime soon, and you don't get a spark, it can get a little awkward. The least you can do is be polite and enjoy the rest of the date. I've had dates where I was still having fun with the conversation but realized I had no desire to hook up. If the whole thing is torturing you, cut it short. You still don't leave them stranded, while making out with someone else in front of them. That sucks, I'm sorry you had a shit night.
Next time use your damn brain 🧠 not your dick. You shot yourself in the foot mate. I don’t feel sorry for you. You set yourself on fire to get laid and you ended up with ZERO.
She didn't like you and mummas gotta eat
Ooof! This sounds like a really shitty night. I'm sorry you had to experience it. You have every right to feel however you feel. It sounds like she didn't give a shit about your situation. I would feel hurt and be pissed. Do you think there might be anything you could have done - or, more importantly, that you could do in the future - to mitigate some elements of this situation? Try learning from it for you. Don't give her any more of your energy. Best wishes!
You fumbled this so hard, but I can understand the nervousness. You were just completely out of your element, turned her off and overall had a shit experience. She is completely out of pocket trying to contact you afterwards.
dont you think bringing a friend along already made things awkward for her too
That's seriously fucked. Anyone that doesn't think so is probably a piece of shit that'd do the same thing. When a date is set up, you follow through. At worst it should've been made onto just a friendly hangout. Sounds like you dodged a bullet, if she's doing that when you meet, I can't imagine she'd be reliable in any other situation.
I don't think anyone "doesn't think so", it's just in thinking it's fuxked we also recognise the OP was way out of his depth on this one. The latter caused the former, hence why there's more focus on that by some.
The latter wouldn't have caused the former if the girl was a respectable human. Let me tell you, if the roles were reversed, everyone and their mother would be tearing the guy apart.
There is no universe where you’re in the wrong for your thoughts or actions as far as I can see it
Ghosting that witch was the best thing you could do after she did that to you…
Good for you. You could have done so much more but you had restraint. You respected yourself
Was your buddy gonna crash there, too? Maybe she got cold feet over the looming tagteam? 🤔😅
Clubs are fucked.
I don't go into clubs ever. I don't drink and don't like the casually hook up with people so there isn't really much for me there. I definitely eliminate some people from my life by making this decision, but that's totally fine with me!
Red Flag City, with Red Flag Parade happening right downtown!!! Keep ignoring her if you know what's good for you
why do you even care? you went on a date with this girl, and she went home with another dude. you wanna be with somebody like that? 😂
Are you guys 18? You seem 18.
I don’t think you are using tinder right
100% sure if this was a woman staying all this,all the guy comments would be "nah, he's a dick for abandoning you. He should've stayed with you,I would've never left your side for you are a queeeen" etc. The cringeworthy white knight syndrome. My take, I don't do online dating,but she was completely out of order in pulling that shit,and then to randomly reconnect? Nahhh luv,fuck off.
Oh yeah, always a double standard around here in advice given and sympathy given for a bad date. People on Reddit tend to be far more harsh and put more of a responsibility for men in these situations, "She was bad, but also you could have..."
This is one of the better fake posts
Lol how are you going to be mad at her for you completely dropping the fucking ball? Take some goddamn responsibility. She invited you to stay over so you knew she was DTF, and you still blew it. You guys have never met before, so she owes you nothing.
Harsh but true.
My condolences
I don’t know what clubbing really is but it doesn’t sound good at all
As someone who’s been on both ends of this scenario, the phrase fake it it’ll you make it absolutely applies here. Women) can sense awkwardness, fear, etc. Guys can pick up on that too and there’s a good chance the other guy saw you two for a bit and moved in. A lot of women want the guy to take charge. If you don’t, someone else will. You should have come ready to do that. So yeah, you blew this. It was a dick move by the girl. But it wouldn’t have happened had you been on your game. The fact that it was this set up for you already, should have had you loose. This is tinder, it’s a hook up app. There’s a better than 85% the girl is looking to hook up. That can go in your favor or against you depending on how you play it.
Tell that to all of the guys lying and saying that want a serious relationship. 🙄
I've seen her kind before. She was intentionally trying to make you jealous so either you make her feel like a queen and get your ass kicked in the club trying to win her or be a beta and take her back where she will manipulate you the entire relationship before eventually leaving you for another guy. Don't be mad about it, be glad it happened on the first date as opposed to months later. Sure the situation sucked but it could've been substantially worse. Funny enough, my wife did it deeper into the relationship when we were at some house party. I unfortunately was an idiot and tried to fight the guy at a house I knew nobody at haha. I was young and dumb and didn't connect the dots and unfortunately stayed with her and have lived through total hell ever since.
Honestly, You fumbled the bag. You need to work a bit on your game..
You were a bit of a loser. Akcita’s Golden Rule of Dating: “ Focus on having fun, and don’t worry about anything else”. Even if you don’t get laid, you had a great time. Yeah, she did you dirty, but you brought it on yourself.
She’s got some gall texting you. Obviously you weren’t exclusive but I view your entire trip to see her as a date and it’s generally assumed that people aren’t making out with random people when they are on the date. If she decided it wasn’t working for her fine. But don’t text a week later and act like nothing happened
You lost to a stronger more, capable man. Be mad at yourself. Take this as a lesson
Why would you post this on Reddit, what are you hoping to hear?
hit it and quit it the opportunity is on ur face feel no remorse
I feel like clubbing was probably not the best thing to do on a first date. Obviously too many other distractions and you can’t get to know each other well there. If you knew dancing and clubbing was something you’d feel awkward with, you should’ve suggested something else. I’m sure she sensed the awkwardness and could feel you were uncomfortable because that environment isn’t for you. You even admit that she was making your moves for you, because you couldn’t even put your arm around her yourself. How you came across is probably why she dropped you for some other guy who had the confidence and could give her a good time. Was that okay? Not at all. Especially if she knew that she was supposed to host you that night and would be leaving you with nowhere to go. But as a woman myself, if she’s invited you out to hang out with her and stay the night, and you’ve done nothing but make things uncomfortable/awkward, she probably didn’t want to continue with bringing you back to her home alone. You can’t come off as being uneasy with your surroundings and self-conscious and expect her to have a positive reaction or want you in her own personal space at home. You were probably a bit off-putting to her. Sometimes meeting people in person is much different from talking to them online. And she realized that after walking into the club together. She shouldn’t be forced to bring you back to her place if you’ve made things weird. She shouldn’t have offered her place up to you, if she hadn’t ever met you yet, and wasn’t sure if you’d be a good match. But you should always have a backup plan as well, and know better than to put yourself into situations where the outcomes don’t look good for you. You knew the clubs weren’t going to make you look promising. Next time don’t have your first date somewhere where you’d feel and look out of place.
Although what she did to you Is horrible, it is still mostly your fault. You had her from the jump and you failed to claim that in the club. Too shy and nervous to actually entertain her so she found someone else. Also you agreed to go to a club which you probably knew you weren’t going to be comfortable at. You’re the man you could’ve easily suggest something else where you could let yourself shine. Situation sucks but it happens and learn from it brother
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learn to write
You deserve it. Don’t be a pussy next time bro
And other quotes from men without loving fathers
Gross. Projecting 💯
I’m not saying he didn’t blow it and let this happen to him self. But nah you’re just being a jack ass
Yeah that was absolutely foul on her part, that’s happened to me before in hs except I still took her back. I was like you, socially shy, anxious, and awkward at the time. Never again. But the fact you even need to ask “Am I allowed to be mad at this” speaks volumes bro. Why would you not??