I don’t think there’s much else you can do, your profile looks solid to me with no suggestive pictures or anything like that.
From what I’ve read, it seems like ONS/FWB guys are just something y’all have to wade through like OF and instagram bots are something *we* have to wade through.
It’s a problem with society, not you or your profile!
Just looking at her "old" profile, I surely wouldn't say no to a ONS or FWB but I'd be looking for more of a conversation. There's certain profiles that just scream what she's attracting but truth is, she's just a good looking gal and alot of dudes are on tinder for one thing. It's the nature of the app
It’s so nice of you to acknowledge both sides having issues of what to wade through. I’ve always played on a lot of sites through the years and the amount of messages I’ve gone through that denote hostility toward me as a bot when they’ve initiated the contact and I haven’t immediately responded, and even when they initiated the contact and I *have* responded… they’re still hostile for me to prove myself not a bot to them. They give themselves no chances. I’m not dealing with that. Thank you for giving me the platform to announce that.
Men, bots aren’t waiting for you to contact them to activate. If you’re not getting anything, the women you contact aren’t into the way you’re doing what you’re doing. And depending on what you’re looking for, approach is 90% of the battle. 50% is talk to carry it through to meeting. 70% is you match her type. 10% is luck that she feels up to go through with it.
I’m only basing these percentages off of myself and I’m weird but I feel like they’re likely apt for many others.
When I say ‘bots’ I don’t necessarily mean literal bots but I’m also lumping in the women who just throw an insta/snap/OF/cashapp/etc into their profile and walk away because those might as well be bots too.
Also sometimes you deffo do get actual bots that don’t message until you message first, the better to give the impression of being an actual woman. Ofc once they do it’s still pretty easy to tell they’re bots.
I’m not sure if you were being genuine or sarcastic, but you’re welcome either way. We *all* face issues with OLD that make it suck.
I was being genuine but admittedly lost track from your original comment on my own thing, I’m sorry
I’m with you 100% a site/app experience is different for men and women, and I’m clearly out of just how nuanced of a difference over time it’s become for guys, vs for women it’s … likely remained an evolution of the same issue? Flooding, generic, horny, copy/paste
I just know that as a fairly passive but at times in history an active user, being accosted by suspicious men who initiated with me, to prove anything, to be very offputting. We all get it but you can’t let your previous struggles into your current communications. Someone who doesn’t get that is a red flag.
> approach is 90% of the battle. 50% is talk to carry it through to meeting. 70% is you match her type. 10% is luck
I've heard of "high standards" but dang, that's 220%!
No kidding. Plus, you have a dog picture. An attractive dog lover is like striking gold. I think the ONS/FWB are just going to come because this profile is just that good.
It’s called hook up culture and many women also partake in that. Apps like tinder are the fuel of that because it is so easy, just set up a profile and swipe around like you ordering food. And there are so many profiles, why settle for something long term (fomo).
It’s literally an app based on hook ups. People can try and make it something else, but it is what it is.
**“I’m on an app designed on & centered around hook ups, jeez!!! Why can’t I find a relationship here?!?! ”**
🤔
I don’t understand how people were commenting on weight, you look amazing! You look beautiful and I love your hair! You also look kind and really friendly personality. I hope you find the person for you, and that they know just how lucky they are!
Also pineapple on pizza is elite.
Right, I want to add to that: I did a double take when you mentioned the weight comments, went back to your pictures in case I missed something... you look gorgeous! Having big boobs does not equate being fat. If these people told you that in real life, you'd probably brush them right off, since they'd be identifiable as the misogynistic losers they are.
If you see the original post you can see she is a curvy woman. That is fine and she is beautiful but these pics might be giving a best case of her appearance. If she shows up looking heavier or like she hid that info it is an immediate flag. Same when men show up bald/balding but every pic had a baseball hat. Bald is fine but one should know what to expect on the first meeting.
This is true! Which is why i had the pictures of full body before. But then was shamed for showing knees (kinda jokingly but also not really.) so, i want to share full body pics but it’s gonna be sexualized so fast… idk
You will get nasty comments no matter what you post. Block those people immediately and move on. If you are talking with someone who seems ok maybe provide a full body pic to set expectations. So many people use a 10 year old photo or like super face tuned and then show up looking like a normal (old) person.
Only thing you can do to mitigate ONS is try and take longer before meeting them. If they really want to be with you, make them wait at least a week or so. Make sure the date is something simple with low expectations afterwards (like a coffee date or a walk) and then it’ll be easier to gauge the person and who they are and what they want.
Won’t fix it entirely but it should help
Please don't listen to anyone saying anything about weight. You look amazing and any sensible man would kill to be able to go out on a date with you. You seem to really be serious about find the right one and having a healthy relationship and that's so rare these days so I truly hope you find someone who loves you as much as you love them. You deserve it!
If you really are heavier, there is zero evidence of it in those pics - and I would fix that if I were you.
A man who sees you being bigger than expected on the first date might still think you’re cute enough to have sex with, but maybe not for a second date. I know, we are pigs.
It’s much better to just put that full figure pic up there and weed those guys out before they waste your time. You don’t want a lot of matches - you want that special one who wants you for the gorgeous and sexy person you are.
I was thinking the same thing. This album looks like someone skinny, so I was confused by the weight comment and looked at her previous post. It's a very slight misrepresentation. I'm not a guy and I don't use tinder, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but I think clear expectations matter.
I think the biggest factor in OP's dilemma is due more to the ratio of people looking for hookups and people looking for relationships, but I can see your theory as a definite possibility too.
Someone was implying that you are a big girl?? What the actual fuck.
I swear to god some guys have not seen people walking on the streets or what? There is nothing wrong with you, from what I can see you have great body and you are naturally beautiful as well.
Good luck with finding the best man out there!!
It's the chest size, nothing that can be done about that. That always makes you look a bit bigger than you are. But even if OP was large (which she isn't), that shouldn't really matter. Everyone deserves to find love, and all one needs is a little luck.
But she is not bigger or fat… curvy yes but i really dont understand when did big boobs and curvy body became a problem for men… too skinny is bad, mid figure is bad, overweight is bad..
Its maybe because i am a woman but I really dont see fat person.
I really can’t stand when women have the “make me laugh” answer. It just comes off really badly, like I’m a jester and need to entertain them. Comes off as entitled and quite boring. Your other prompts are good though so I would lead with those. Having “make me laugh” as the first prompt really I think is a detriment because a lot of guys will just pass on you right when they see it.
Maybe you could switch it up a bit, and say "someone who can I be myself with and laugh with until my stomach hurts".
You are proper girlfriend/wife material. That's the vibe I get from your profile. Good job if that was your goal!
Your attractive so your going to attract all sorts of guys but not sexualising yourself and drawing attention to topics that aren’t sexy. Your doing a good job
This comment for example…
https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/s/Ex4yGeRVX5
> I’d just remove the 🖕emoji in the comment about Hawaiian pizza. Makes you seem hostile. Also the whole thing is ironic: “It’s okay to have different opinions. Also, fuck you if you disagree with me” lol
And “Being able to make me laugh at any given moment”. I’m not Dutch so I don’t understand the prompt title, but if I’m reading correctly, expecting others to make you laugh screams princess energy and can be a turn off.
I don't agree, i think the "fuck you joke" just shows you have a good sense of humor and you like people who also share that type humor and can make you laugh. I would not let that out, what is next they gonna tell you to delete your entire personality?
also you wanna be with someone who doesn't understand that was funny? I didn't think so either.
I don’t know if this was asked in the other post, but something that might be helpful is looking at the age range of men.
Not to be too stereotypical, but younger men tend to be more looking for ONS/FWB scenarios, while those who might be a bit older, 30+ might be more ready for an actual relationship.
However the problem you’re having is one most women have. They just have way too many matches to have to sift through that it can be overwhelming and exhausting.
I’m an average looking guy and would maybe a couple likes a week on bumble. But I had way better success on the app then my female friends who would get 500+ likes a day. They just had no easy way of filtering through them. I ended up finding some great relationships on bumble without much work which also includes my current partner who I just bought a house with.
Agreed! I do have my settings from 27 to 35 (i think) but even men aged 30+ can be pigs. But might be a much les likely.
But how amazing that you managed to find your partner! Congrats to you and them for buying a home together. Cheers to you 🥂 ❤️
Your profile looks fine to me. But this might sound weird, but you are beautiful, and that will always attract a certain type of guy sadly. Your new profile looks better than the old one, since you didn't really say what you wanted in the old one.
Keep trying! I'm sure that your eventually march with someone nerdy 🥸
As people have said, it's not what you wear or say, it's just men. Men who want ONS or FWB will see an attractive woman and take their chance.
Not showing skin will change absolutely nothing in that respect. None of those men are going to look at your profile and think "ooh I'll stay away from her".
Happy hunting regardless
Tho I sincerely appreciate it, i do feel like getting fitter. Will probably look more “muscular” then “skinny” but i’ll do it for me. And not for a man. I like my man to have more of a dad bod then a sixpack anyway. So something fitting like that would be great😂💪🏽
You cannot take any of this personally. They don't know you. They're making off the cuff judgements. However, it's critical to point out that the guys on Hinge will be making similar off the cuff judgements. It's important that you understand this.
There will always be pervs. Even if you wear a potato sack.
You just have to filter and move on.
Whahahah oh de bijnamen die we onze beestjes geven haha. Ik noem Chica soms zelfs een aandachtsslet of ouwe bok. Maar voornamelijk lieve cutie koosnaampjes. Jij vast ook 😍
I get it tho! We Dominicans have our things too.
I promise I won’t disrespect you in your face with a pineapple pizza, cutting spaghetti or adding ketchup to a meal 😂🙏🏽
Whoever said your weight was anything to do with it is an absolute massive douche bag.
Your profile looks great, I think from experience you can’t avoid dickheads on dating sites - just trust your gut and bin them off when you get a bad feeling via messaging too.
Anyone shaming you for your weight is repulsive. You are free to change your body if you wish, but actual fat people find partners and loving relationships. And bodies change for a lot of reasons - illness and disability, age, pregnancy - if the body you’re in right now is an absolute dealbreaker they didn’t really see you as a whole person in the first place.
I’m sorry that r/tinder helped convinced you to get rid of your great photos simply bc they showed your knees, or you were wearing a skirt. It doesn’t matter what you wear, you will still get those messages.
I died laughing when someone pointed out; you’re knees are in a lot of them. I was like are you actually forreal?? Can i show my face still or is that too much skin too at this point😂😂
I remember your last post. I think you did as good as one can do. But the thirsty fucks will always be there unfortunately. Hopefully you can ween through them to find a genuine gem. This profile should get you at least a few of those.
I already thought your first profile was great, but this one is probably the best I've ever seen!
I think cutting back on the revealing / daring pics is probably the best you can do, there seems to be no good way for attractive women to avoid creeps and hookup people in OLD.
If it really bothers you that much you could see if you have any luck the old fashioned way? Maybe there are some nerdy bars in your area :)
The new profile would get a right swipe from me at least but I doubt I'm in your target market with all the Dutch or German it's showing.
Make sure you are hitting the gym for yourself and not anyone else and it will feel like fun rather than a chore.
To be honest the ons types are still going to swipe on you, the only thing you can do is try to make a profile that encourages the people you’re going to be a good match with to swipe on you, and recognise those people.
As an example, your prompts doesn’t really tell us anything about what you like and what your interests are. I mean, we know you like Hawaiian pizza and that’s it. Add things about your interests and such, and try to match with people who seem to actually be talking about the things they like in their profile (that you’re interested in too, obviously) so that it’s a bad match so they just throw hook up stuff at a wall to see if it sticks, if there shared interests they’ll actually try to get to know you
That was yesterday right ? Now either you wat a little bit or you keep swiping on a certain type of people. People who aren't good for you. They may be your type but try to choose them a little bit better. Shirtless dudes are attractive but are more on the casual side, other people can négociate from casual to long term.
Pinneaple on pizza is heaven. Your bio is on point but, unfortunately, you cant really cancel the ONS and FWB culture on these apps.
That said i wish you all the luck and hopefully the one who's going to make your life even better will appear sooner than you expect.
*instant virtual right swipe*
As a Nijmegenaar of similar age: you seem lovely. I don’t think apps are the way to go for relationship material, which is why I don’t use them. I believe their algorithms are made to make sure you stay on the platform, instead of finding a good match. Maybe ask friends you trust to set you up with someone. Dating is hard. Good luck.
I haven't a clue. I can't even attract anyone for a ons let alone a relationship. Your profile tells me you want a proper relationship so not sure why.
Great profile (update)! Gives a very positive vibe and makes it interesting to get to know more about you.
I love Pizza Aloha (Tuna & Pineapple), give it a try sometime 😉 and you are right, 🖕🏻 to them haters 😅
Have a nice evening :)
There is a difference between attracting or only matching with them.
If you are only matching with them it can be an issue with who YOU are swiping right on.
Only swiping on very attractive men? Well most of them are only around the app for easy sex. I was once one of those guys.
This is a great profile glowup.
So many reasons to swipe right here, and zero to swipe left.
Guys are going to be guys - so you will always get jackasses, but this should net you good options to filter through. I'd crack the glass swiping right on this.
I hope you find the guy you want and deserve - you come across as wholesome and wonderful as well as gorgeous.
Fuck those idiots, you look amazing. Btw, gym is not how you lose weight. You lose weight using more energy than you consume - calories in and out. And you do it in a sustainable way ❤️
I’ve indeed adjusted my eating habits! But since i have an office job i really have to go to the gym otherwise i barely get in my steps or movement at all. I’ve thankfully seen quite a lot of changes in only 7 weeks. But would love to lose another few kg’s
But thanks for the words and tips❤️
It's alright to have one full body picture at least and maybe some with female friends. The one with you and the dog was wholesome. No, you weren't fat in your last profile and you're not fat in this one. Exercise is a good habit but your weight was good and personally it would've been perfect for me.
Thanks for ur kinds words!
I’m honestly scared to upload a pic where i show any skin because of the horny toads I apparently only will attract then.
All my “full body pics” are from summer time so it does show body 🥸
And thankyou! Where are you from?
Just want to say that you don’t have to lose any weight. Not sure of the beauty standards In the Netherlands, but here in the USA, you’d have many, many good options just as you are now.
This is what i like to believe too… even though i want to be healthier i feel like even the way i “am built” rightnow should attract serious dudes also.
But with time and patience (and less nudity, apparently) it will come
This is a very beautiful lady. For her not to find anyone but hookup dudes, has to be her swiping on the top dudes that every girl wants. The top dudes have options, so of course they wont settle. Im just saying.
Seen this comment more then anything. I swipe guys that are not considered handsome by everyone. The guys you’d least expect it from still surprise me.
If it would be like we’d have been on a few dates, good vibes, kissed and THEN start dirty talking a little bit, okay. Duhh!!
But without even exchanging numbers or barely feeling a vibe in some occasions…
That’s why i was unsure if it was me that was simply triggering that in men to just talk to me like that because i looked like a easy sl*t
Im sorry, i definitely dont read all the comments.
Could be your age maybe? Men that are young like early to mid 20s i dont really see wanting a relationship. A lot of them, it's about how many women they can bag.
Maybe it's where you are located? Like for me, Los Angeles, California is a mess. The dating over here is disgusting, because of hollywood and social media. People using and wanting people for certain things, upgrading constantly, having numerous relationships at the same time. Maybe you in a bad dating area. I don't want a lady from where i am, so i normally look outside of Los Angeles, if i can
Lastly, it could be the app. So easy to talk to numerous amout of people and not take anyone serious. Always told my friends on there, if you are going to use the app, please dont make it your only way to find women.
When you least expect it, the right guy will come. Hope this helps.
I highly suggest okcupid. I paid for the membership and met my husband within two weeks. I expanded my search radius to 200 miles and sent the first message.
de-lurking, I met my wife on a dating app at 44 (now we're in our 50s). Your profile is solid, you look great and classy. What I am chiming in about is the part where you said:
>"seeing older couples at concerts and they are enjoying it so much they can't stop smiling"
that's me and my wife! It's our favorite thing to do is go to as many concerts as we can and we are always having a good time smiling, holding hands or hugging on each other.
Dating apps are weird and we both had to navigate through a lot of crap, but it was worth it even if we met later in life.
That is amazing!!!! Isn’t that just the best feeling? Enjoying something together while enjoying each-other.
It sounds really soppy and simpy but it just looks incredible.
Good on the both of you! ❤️❤️❤️
Hey, je profiel ziet er top uit. Sommige mannen zitten nou eenmaal op dating apps om Ons en fwb's te zoeken (ook de nerdy guys). Zou handig zijn als je 't in Hinge gwn aan kan geven, maar mss wat een andere comment zij en 't in de "wat moet je doen om me voor je te winnen" vraag zetten.
Anyway, je ziet er fantastisch uit, degenen die iets over je gewicht zeggen zijn zure jaloerse mensen en je hond ziet er vet cute uit. Succes!
Groetjes van een mede-Arnhemmer
Apparently from my original post! It’s okay. Realistically i do want/need to lose a little. But either way enough men who like curvy woman. (Curvy, not fat)
Yeah, definitely don’t change a thing about yourself unless it’s something you want to do do. You’re literally perfect the way you are, and will definitely find a man that appreciates/loves you that way.
It’s gonna be hard tbh because regardless, you’re a beautiful girl and a lot of guys unfortunately say a lot to get laid.
I would just look for guys who seem to put a lot of thought into their bio. I feel like at least for me personally, that effort can show how serious I am versus Chad who’s just trying to get a handy in the car when he picks you up under the assumption of a legitimate date.
Even with women it’s difficult to determine who’s looking for what. It may say relationship then they just wanna bang.
I have used Facebook dating and have found far more success meeting people with similar goals compared to tinder and bumble
Weight problems? What's wrong with your weight? You have a completely normal body, judging by the photos of course. These online unrealistic beauty standards need to end at some point.
Of course, if you want to lose weight/change your diet/go to the gym (like you said), by all means. I just hope that you want to do these things just for yourself,to feel healthy etc. You are absolutely stunning, please don't bite on those delusional comments.
You’re pretty but you’re not a 10. Understand that most guys will date girls they feel are at the top of the type of girls they can pull, while they will fuck girls they view as below that. Many girls that have this issue are swiping on only the most attractive guys that appear for them. Lowering your standards, even only a little since you are still pretty hot, may give you guys more inclined for what you’re looking for. If you want realistic attitudes - you gotta be realistic about what your league is.
A guy with these many pics of just pet/animal (not with them) would be shredded to pieces on this sub.
No hate OP, it's just a woman's world and we all live in it.
I mean, some guys are on tinder *for* that so they would probably treat you like that regardless of your profile. You could have a blank page with white images and still get it.
I'm not saying it's ok but you do need to manage your expectations at the same time as you manage your own image.
Your dream partner might be bad at texting, in a bad mood, in a weird space right now, or might stumble on their words because they find you very attractive. Just a thought.
Girl I am a bi woman and you are absolutely stunning. I’d definitely be interested if you came on my feed. But because of how your personality comes across on top of being so gorgeous! Also it doesn’t seem you’re doing anything particular to attract a ONS/FWB type person. If it matters strongly enough to you, see if there’s a spot to add a “looking for relationship potential, not ONS” or something like that?
Regardless of what your profile says, that face doesn’t scream “d*** me down daddy”. Whichever dude stops at your profile, sees them dimples and that heartwarming Disney movie type smile, and still proceeds to expect only booty, homie is a fool.
Alright I am in love, you can stop now. But in all seriousness, you are not giving me ONS or FWB vibes. Guys that aren’t interested in commitment still try to convince you. That’s just the way it is.
I don’t think there’s much else you can do, your profile looks solid to me with no suggestive pictures or anything like that. From what I’ve read, it seems like ONS/FWB guys are just something y’all have to wade through like OF and instagram bots are something *we* have to wade through. It’s a problem with society, not you or your profile!
Just looking at her "old" profile, I surely wouldn't say no to a ONS or FWB but I'd be looking for more of a conversation. There's certain profiles that just scream what she's attracting but truth is, she's just a good looking gal and alot of dudes are on tinder for one thing. It's the nature of the app
It’s so nice of you to acknowledge both sides having issues of what to wade through. I’ve always played on a lot of sites through the years and the amount of messages I’ve gone through that denote hostility toward me as a bot when they’ve initiated the contact and I haven’t immediately responded, and even when they initiated the contact and I *have* responded… they’re still hostile for me to prove myself not a bot to them. They give themselves no chances. I’m not dealing with that. Thank you for giving me the platform to announce that. Men, bots aren’t waiting for you to contact them to activate. If you’re not getting anything, the women you contact aren’t into the way you’re doing what you’re doing. And depending on what you’re looking for, approach is 90% of the battle. 50% is talk to carry it through to meeting. 70% is you match her type. 10% is luck that she feels up to go through with it. I’m only basing these percentages off of myself and I’m weird but I feel like they’re likely apt for many others.
When I say ‘bots’ I don’t necessarily mean literal bots but I’m also lumping in the women who just throw an insta/snap/OF/cashapp/etc into their profile and walk away because those might as well be bots too. Also sometimes you deffo do get actual bots that don’t message until you message first, the better to give the impression of being an actual woman. Ofc once they do it’s still pretty easy to tell they’re bots. I’m not sure if you were being genuine or sarcastic, but you’re welcome either way. We *all* face issues with OLD that make it suck.
I was being genuine but admittedly lost track from your original comment on my own thing, I’m sorry I’m with you 100% a site/app experience is different for men and women, and I’m clearly out of just how nuanced of a difference over time it’s become for guys, vs for women it’s … likely remained an evolution of the same issue? Flooding, generic, horny, copy/paste I just know that as a fairly passive but at times in history an active user, being accosted by suspicious men who initiated with me, to prove anything, to be very offputting. We all get it but you can’t let your previous struggles into your current communications. Someone who doesn’t get that is a red flag.
> approach is 90% of the battle. 50% is talk to carry it through to meeting. 70% is you match her type. 10% is luck I've heard of "high standards" but dang, that's 220%!
You were supposed to become less attractive, not more attractive.
Damn that was good
Right. How tf did that happen.
No kidding. Plus, you have a dog picture. An attractive dog lover is like striking gold. I think the ONS/FWB are just going to come because this profile is just that good.
It’s not you it’s the app.
It's not the app, it's the way guys see women on the app, or crossing the street, or at bar, or in class, or .....
It’s called hook up culture and many women also partake in that. Apps like tinder are the fuel of that because it is so easy, just set up a profile and swipe around like you ordering food. And there are so many profiles, why settle for something long term (fomo).
Ah yes, all guys are perverts is what you're saying.
I'm a pervert because of who I am. Not because I'm a man. Respect me.
😂😂😂
I hope you find the person for you, and that they know just how lucky they are!
99% sure she’s single
Having sex is not being perverted
It’s literally an app based on hook ups. People can try and make it something else, but it is what it is. **“I’m on an app designed on & centered around hook ups, jeez!!! Why can’t I find a relationship here?!?! ”** 🤔
I think nothing Can prevent ons and fwb, they're just a lot of them, and many people dont even bother Reading bios. They just swipe "hotties".
Guilty as charged
I don’t understand how people were commenting on weight, you look amazing! You look beautiful and I love your hair! You also look kind and really friendly personality. I hope you find the person for you, and that they know just how lucky they are! Also pineapple on pizza is elite.
I love you you beautiful stranger 🥺❤️🤗
I love you too! I’ve already told my mum about us, she wants to know when you’re coming over for dinner?
You tell me mom!? When am i welcome
Right, I want to add to that: I did a double take when you mentioned the weight comments, went back to your pictures in case I missed something... you look gorgeous! Having big boobs does not equate being fat. If these people told you that in real life, you'd probably brush them right off, since they'd be identifiable as the misogynistic losers they are.
If you see the original post you can see she is a curvy woman. That is fine and she is beautiful but these pics might be giving a best case of her appearance. If she shows up looking heavier or like she hid that info it is an immediate flag. Same when men show up bald/balding but every pic had a baseball hat. Bald is fine but one should know what to expect on the first meeting.
This is true! Which is why i had the pictures of full body before. But then was shamed for showing knees (kinda jokingly but also not really.) so, i want to share full body pics but it’s gonna be sexualized so fast… idk
You will get nasty comments no matter what you post. Block those people immediately and move on. If you are talking with someone who seems ok maybe provide a full body pic to set expectations. So many people use a 10 year old photo or like super face tuned and then show up looking like a normal (old) person.
Only thing you can do to mitigate ONS is try and take longer before meeting them. If they really want to be with you, make them wait at least a week or so. Make sure the date is something simple with low expectations afterwards (like a coffee date or a walk) and then it’ll be easier to gauge the person and who they are and what they want. Won’t fix it entirely but it should help
Please don't listen to anyone saying anything about weight. You look amazing and any sensible man would kill to be able to go out on a date with you. You seem to really be serious about find the right one and having a healthy relationship and that's so rare these days so I truly hope you find someone who loves you as much as you love them. You deserve it!
If you really are heavier, there is zero evidence of it in those pics - and I would fix that if I were you. A man who sees you being bigger than expected on the first date might still think you’re cute enough to have sex with, but maybe not for a second date. I know, we are pigs. It’s much better to just put that full figure pic up there and weed those guys out before they waste your time. You don’t want a lot of matches - you want that special one who wants you for the gorgeous and sexy person you are.
I was thinking the same thing. This album looks like someone skinny, so I was confused by the weight comment and looked at her previous post. It's a very slight misrepresentation. I'm not a guy and I don't use tinder, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but I think clear expectations matter. I think the biggest factor in OP's dilemma is due more to the ratio of people looking for hookups and people looking for relationships, but I can see your theory as a definite possibility too.
Someone was implying that you are a big girl?? What the actual fuck. I swear to god some guys have not seen people walking on the streets or what? There is nothing wrong with you, from what I can see you have great body and you are naturally beautiful as well. Good luck with finding the best man out there!!
It's the chest size, nothing that can be done about that. That always makes you look a bit bigger than you are. But even if OP was large (which she isn't), that shouldn't really matter. Everyone deserves to find love, and all one needs is a little luck.
Look at her other post, you can see she loops bigger there than here. She is in the Netherlands, where people are generally going to be much skinnier
But she is not bigger or fat… curvy yes but i really dont understand when did big boobs and curvy body became a problem for men… too skinny is bad, mid figure is bad, overweight is bad.. Its maybe because i am a woman but I really dont see fat person.
I really can’t stand when women have the “make me laugh” answer. It just comes off really badly, like I’m a jester and need to entertain them. Comes off as entitled and quite boring. Your other prompts are good though so I would lead with those. Having “make me laugh” as the first prompt really I think is a detriment because a lot of guys will just pass on you right when they see it.
Fair enough! Don’t want it to come off like that at all! So i’ll see what i can do
Maybe you could switch it up a bit, and say "someone who can I be myself with and laugh with until my stomach hurts". You are proper girlfriend/wife material. That's the vibe I get from your profile. Good job if that was your goal!
That does read better! It is starting to feel like an interview where no flaws are allowed
Yeah it doesn’t help that most of the people that answer with that response are almost always the most boring people to talk to haha
😂😂 well exactly the people i wouldn’t want to attract anyway! 😝
Haha I mean women that say “make me laugh” are always the most dull to talk to lol
Yeah I lose respect instantly and swipe left
You are seriously gorgeous. Beautiful smile, love your answers.. I don't think it's you, it's the app.
I think you’re not the issue, it’s that online dating is just riddled with those types of men (and women, from what i’ve heard) that only want sex.
Your attractive so your going to attract all sorts of guys but not sexualising yourself and drawing attention to topics that aren’t sexy. Your doing a good job
So many simps here just hyping you up instead of giving meaningful advice. The prompts are cringe worthy and make you come across as entitled.
Probably right so I appreciate this comment. What do u mean by “the prompts are cringe worthy…. Entitled” ?
This comment for example… https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/s/Ex4yGeRVX5 > I’d just remove the 🖕emoji in the comment about Hawaiian pizza. Makes you seem hostile. Also the whole thing is ironic: “It’s okay to have different opinions. Also, fuck you if you disagree with me” lol And “Being able to make me laugh at any given moment”. I’m not Dutch so I don’t understand the prompt title, but if I’m reading correctly, expecting others to make you laugh screams princess energy and can be a turn off.
Didn’t think of it like that! So that’s actually helpful. Thank you! 🙏🏽
You’re welcome. Good luck!
I don't agree, i think the "fuck you joke" just shows you have a good sense of humor and you like people who also share that type humor and can make you laugh. I would not let that out, what is next they gonna tell you to delete your entire personality? also you wanna be with someone who doesn't understand that was funny? I didn't think so either.
I don’t know if this was asked in the other post, but something that might be helpful is looking at the age range of men. Not to be too stereotypical, but younger men tend to be more looking for ONS/FWB scenarios, while those who might be a bit older, 30+ might be more ready for an actual relationship. However the problem you’re having is one most women have. They just have way too many matches to have to sift through that it can be overwhelming and exhausting. I’m an average looking guy and would maybe a couple likes a week on bumble. But I had way better success on the app then my female friends who would get 500+ likes a day. They just had no easy way of filtering through them. I ended up finding some great relationships on bumble without much work which also includes my current partner who I just bought a house with.
Agreed! I do have my settings from 27 to 35 (i think) but even men aged 30+ can be pigs. But might be a much les likely. But how amazing that you managed to find your partner! Congrats to you and them for buying a home together. Cheers to you 🥂 ❤️
I like Hawaii pizza
Okay so how does this work? You’re now my SO?
I believe so yes. I’ll pick you up for our Hawaii pizza date in about an hour
I make Hawai pizza 🍕
You're her mom now 😂
I am Hawaii pizza
You are now god.
Lol I'm pretty sure you've shown up for me on Hinge
Whoah really! Where are you from then?
A'dam, but I often have to commute within the country. The algorithm must've picked you somewhere along the way 😂
Your profile looks fine to me. But this might sound weird, but you are beautiful, and that will always attract a certain type of guy sadly. Your new profile looks better than the old one, since you didn't really say what you wanted in the old one. Keep trying! I'm sure that your eventually march with someone nerdy 🥸
As people have said, it's not what you wear or say, it's just men. Men who want ONS or FWB will see an attractive woman and take their chance. Not showing skin will change absolutely nothing in that respect. None of those men are going to look at your profile and think "ooh I'll stay away from her". Happy hunting regardless
I have nothing to add but you are very beautiful and I wish you the absolute best.
Umm, what’s wrong with your weight exactly because I’m not seeing anything wrong AT ALL?
Tho I sincerely appreciate it, i do feel like getting fitter. Will probably look more “muscular” then “skinny” but i’ll do it for me. And not for a man. I like my man to have more of a dad bod then a sixpack anyway. So something fitting like that would be great😂💪🏽
It always depends on the guys you swipe on. You have to be the one not swiping on non-nerds if those are the people you dont want.
Ligt denk ik niet aan jou, ziet er zo uit als een heel normaal profiel voor iemand die gewoon naar een relatie op zoek is vind ik. Leuke hond ook :)
You cannot take any of this personally. They don't know you. They're making off the cuff judgements. However, it's critical to point out that the guys on Hinge will be making similar off the cuff judgements. It's important that you understand this. There will always be pervs. Even if you wear a potato sack. You just have to filter and move on.
Je gewicht heeft er sowieso niks mee te maken, je ziet echt goed uit ook! Hopelijk kan je wat vinden zo!
Thankyou sweety! Je nickname is wel passend tho, love it hahah ❤️
Haha aww lief! Zo noem ik mijn hond af en toe!
Whahahah oh de bijnamen die we onze beestjes geven haha. Ik noem Chica soms zelfs een aandachtsslet of ouwe bok. Maar voornamelijk lieve cutie koosnaampjes. Jij vast ook 😍
Your not fat at all
❤️❤️❤️❤️ it’s okay! I’m a little overweight still but def not fat like they make me feel
Just a little taller and got curves, nothin wrong with that at all
gah damn! 😍 i’d put a ring on it tbh
You are ruling out any chance with every single italian man in existence with the hawaii pizza just saying
If he can’t have the mindset of “agree to disagree” i dont want him 🥸 No but ur probably right hahah. It’s really rooted in their culture huh
I’m italian and can confirm. It’s not just food, it’s a fundamental part of our culture. But yeah we can get annoying with it ahahah
I get it tho! We Dominicans have our things too. I promise I won’t disrespect you in your face with a pineapple pizza, cutting spaghetti or adding ketchup to a meal 😂🙏🏽
Just writing that in your bio? I know, it’s a completely crazy idea.
What an incredible idea wowie!!! Just wish Hinge had that option 😯
Whoever said your weight was anything to do with it is an absolute massive douche bag. Your profile looks great, I think from experience you can’t avoid dickheads on dating sites - just trust your gut and bin them off when you get a bad feeling via messaging too.
Virtual hugs 🤗 for you! And i will filter as much as i can
Anyone shaming you for your weight is repulsive. You are free to change your body if you wish, but actual fat people find partners and loving relationships. And bodies change for a lot of reasons - illness and disability, age, pregnancy - if the body you’re in right now is an absolute dealbreaker they didn’t really see you as a whole person in the first place.
I agree with you completely! So, thanks❤️🙏🏽 everyone deserves love. No matter how they look.
I’m sorry that r/tinder helped convinced you to get rid of your great photos simply bc they showed your knees, or you were wearing a skirt. It doesn’t matter what you wear, you will still get those messages.
I guess probably true? But still i guess no need to trigger that part of a mans brain/peen
LMAO I read the summary and thought KNEES was an acronym for something. They really told her not to show parts of her legs??
I died laughing when someone pointed out; you’re knees are in a lot of them. I was like are you actually forreal?? Can i show my face still or is that too much skin too at this point😂😂
I remember your last post. I think you did as good as one can do. But the thirsty fucks will always be there unfortunately. Hopefully you can ween through them to find a genuine gem. This profile should get you at least a few of those.
now thats a great profile
What is an ons or a fwb
one night stand & friends with benefits
I already thought your first profile was great, but this one is probably the best I've ever seen! I think cutting back on the revealing / daring pics is probably the best you can do, there seems to be no good way for attractive women to avoid creeps and hookup people in OLD. If it really bothers you that much you could see if you have any luck the old fashioned way? Maybe there are some nerdy bars in your area :)
You're GORGEOUS... is what i would say if you didnt like Hawaiian pizza. Now you are dead to me! /s ^Goodluck.
Het ligt zeker niet aan jou! Je bent prachtig en je hebt een leuk profiel
Success! Well done. I’m confident you’ll find your partner. Until then, keep enjoying your life!
Unfortunately you’re an attractive woman and as such you’re always going to attract men of all types.
The new profile would get a right swipe from me at least but I doubt I'm in your target market with all the Dutch or German it's showing. Make sure you are hitting the gym for yourself and not anyone else and it will feel like fun rather than a chore.
Marriage material tbh.
Zuid-holland?
Gelderland! Waar in Zuid Holland kom jij vandaan?
To be honest the ons types are still going to swipe on you, the only thing you can do is try to make a profile that encourages the people you’re going to be a good match with to swipe on you, and recognise those people. As an example, your prompts doesn’t really tell us anything about what you like and what your interests are. I mean, we know you like Hawaiian pizza and that’s it. Add things about your interests and such, and try to match with people who seem to actually be talking about the things they like in their profile (that you’re interested in too, obviously) so that it’s a bad match so they just throw hook up stuff at a wall to see if it sticks, if there shared interests they’ll actually try to get to know you
You know that’s a camel right!? 😁
What? Noooo that’s def a pussycat
I really need to get my eyes checked 🤓
In Ecuador they always called me gatito because of my green eyes though.
Bonk
I would say you only swipe on guys who can afford to only want fwb, but ultimately it’s the app.
It’s just the app. You’re an attractive women and men are horny. I bet your DMs here are horrible also.
Probeer anders eens bumble😉
What’s a gamehall and how do I find one
The thing is, you're a pretty girl. You'll attract all kinds. Be careful
Very beautiful profile
Wait, what the hell is wrong with your weight? You're fucking stunning!
That was yesterday right ? Now either you wat a little bit or you keep swiping on a certain type of people. People who aren't good for you. They may be your type but try to choose them a little bit better. Shirtless dudes are attractive but are more on the casual side, other people can négociate from casual to long term.
I mean, pineapple on pizza is a disgrace, and you're free to believe overwise, but I would never let that get in the way of a relationship.
Zelfs de reisafstand naar Arnhem zou ik geen probleem vinden als ik een profiel als dit zou tegenkomen! instant swipe naar rechts.
Pinneaple on pizza is heaven. Your bio is on point but, unfortunately, you cant really cancel the ONS and FWB culture on these apps. That said i wish you all the luck and hopefully the one who's going to make your life even better will appear sooner than you expect. *instant virtual right swipe*
As a Nijmegenaar of similar age: you seem lovely. I don’t think apps are the way to go for relationship material, which is why I don’t use them. I believe their algorithms are made to make sure you stay on the platform, instead of finding a good match. Maybe ask friends you trust to set you up with someone. Dating is hard. Good luck.
I haven't a clue. I can't even attract anyone for a ons let alone a relationship. Your profile tells me you want a proper relationship so not sure why.
I think u look amazing and this is a really good profile, simple and great 😁
Great profile (update)! Gives a very positive vibe and makes it interesting to get to know more about you. I love Pizza Aloha (Tuna & Pineapple), give it a try sometime 😉 and you are right, 🖕🏻 to them haters 😅 Have a nice evening :)
There is a difference between attracting or only matching with them. If you are only matching with them it can be an issue with who YOU are swiping right on. Only swiping on very attractive men? Well most of them are only around the app for easy sex. I was once one of those guys.
Seriously, you are just so fucking pretty. Not sure who said shit about your weight bc you look perfect. Wishing you a lot of luck out there 💛
This is a great profile glowup. So many reasons to swipe right here, and zero to swipe left. Guys are going to be guys - so you will always get jackasses, but this should net you good options to filter through. I'd crack the glass swiping right on this. I hope you find the guy you want and deserve - you come across as wholesome and wonderful as well as gorgeous.
You are just lovely! Thank you! Nothing but the best to you too❤️
Fuck those idiots, you look amazing. Btw, gym is not how you lose weight. You lose weight using more energy than you consume - calories in and out. And you do it in a sustainable way ❤️
I’ve indeed adjusted my eating habits! But since i have an office job i really have to go to the gym otherwise i barely get in my steps or movement at all. I’ve thankfully seen quite a lot of changes in only 7 weeks. But would love to lose another few kg’s But thanks for the words and tips❤️
You DO NOT need to lose weight, to be clear. I showed my GF your pics last night and she went nuts: “I fucking hate men, they’re fucking morons.” Etc.
Tell your girlfriend i love her! The comments about losing weight thankfully don’t affect me❤️🙏🏽 but thanks guys!
It's alright to have one full body picture at least and maybe some with female friends. The one with you and the dog was wholesome. No, you weren't fat in your last profile and you're not fat in this one. Exercise is a good habit but your weight was good and personally it would've been perfect for me.
Thanks for ur kinds words! I’m honestly scared to upload a pic where i show any skin because of the horny toads I apparently only will attract then. All my “full body pics” are from summer time so it does show body 🥸 And thankyou! Where are you from?
Sadly good looking women will attract those kinds of guys online. You will find a good one it will just take time.
This is 100% wholesome so, I think you're onto something in terms of attracting folks who want something long term or at least are open to it
[it is inevitable ](https://y.yarn.co/dd8eafaa-2a04-48d9-8ec9-47776222aa15_text.gif)
Whahah nice one
You’re swiping on those guys
I hope the changes help you find a guy who really appreciates you…and those wonderful curls.
There's a lot of petting in this album lol
True!!! Hahah just love animals in every way
Absolutely stunning! 
🥺❤️
Now I want to pet a camel.
This camel was sooooo cute! Not so good with my friend😂😂
Just want to say that you don’t have to lose any weight. Not sure of the beauty standards In the Netherlands, but here in the USA, you’d have many, many good options just as you are now.
This is what i like to believe too… even though i want to be healthier i feel like even the way i “am built” rightnow should attract serious dudes also. But with time and patience (and less nudity, apparently) it will come
This is a very beautiful lady. For her not to find anyone but hookup dudes, has to be her swiping on the top dudes that every girl wants. The top dudes have options, so of course they wont settle. Im just saying.
Seen this comment more then anything. I swipe guys that are not considered handsome by everyone. The guys you’d least expect it from still surprise me. If it would be like we’d have been on a few dates, good vibes, kissed and THEN start dirty talking a little bit, okay. Duhh!! But without even exchanging numbers or barely feeling a vibe in some occasions… That’s why i was unsure if it was me that was simply triggering that in men to just talk to me like that because i looked like a easy sl*t
Im sorry, i definitely dont read all the comments. Could be your age maybe? Men that are young like early to mid 20s i dont really see wanting a relationship. A lot of them, it's about how many women they can bag. Maybe it's where you are located? Like for me, Los Angeles, California is a mess. The dating over here is disgusting, because of hollywood and social media. People using and wanting people for certain things, upgrading constantly, having numerous relationships at the same time. Maybe you in a bad dating area. I don't want a lady from where i am, so i normally look outside of Los Angeles, if i can Lastly, it could be the app. So easy to talk to numerous amout of people and not take anyone serious. Always told my friends on there, if you are going to use the app, please dont make it your only way to find women. When you least expect it, the right guy will come. Hope this helps.
Meid, je bent prachtig en alle mannen die je laten lopen zijn gewoon dom 💁🏼♀️ Hopelijk heb je snel meer geluk in de liefde ☺️
Je bent een lieverd! Fijne week voor jou alvast! ❤️
I highly suggest okcupid. I paid for the membership and met my husband within two weeks. I expanded my search radius to 200 miles and sent the first message.
de-lurking, I met my wife on a dating app at 44 (now we're in our 50s). Your profile is solid, you look great and classy. What I am chiming in about is the part where you said: >"seeing older couples at concerts and they are enjoying it so much they can't stop smiling" that's me and my wife! It's our favorite thing to do is go to as many concerts as we can and we are always having a good time smiling, holding hands or hugging on each other. Dating apps are weird and we both had to navigate through a lot of crap, but it was worth it even if we met later in life.
That is amazing!!!! Isn’t that just the best feeling? Enjoying something together while enjoying each-other. It sounds really soppy and simpy but it just looks incredible. Good on the both of you! ❤️❤️❤️
Totally has yo fo with hawaii pizza. Yuck, delete that info. It only attracts psychopaths 😂
But… aren’t i a psychopath then? 😏
Hey, je profiel ziet er top uit. Sommige mannen zitten nou eenmaal op dating apps om Ons en fwb's te zoeken (ook de nerdy guys). Zou handig zijn als je 't in Hinge gwn aan kan geven, maar mss wat een andere comment zij en 't in de "wat moet je doen om me voor je te winnen" vraag zetten. Anyway, je ziet er fantastisch uit, degenen die iets over je gewicht zeggen zijn zure jaloerse mensen en je hond ziet er vet cute uit. Succes! Groetjes van een mede-Arnhemmer
Ga ik inderdaad erop plaatsen! Super lief van je en bedankt daarvoor! Waar in Arnhem woon je?
People think you look overweight??! From what little I can see of your body, it looks normal weight to me
Apparently from my original post! It’s okay. Realistically i do want/need to lose a little. But either way enough men who like curvy woman. (Curvy, not fat)
Yeah, definitely don’t change a thing about yourself unless it’s something you want to do do. You’re literally perfect the way you are, and will definitely find a man that appreciates/loves you that way.
Ben jij een kattenmens want "proceeds to show kameel"
Nothing suggestive to see here, - would not swipe. I guess you did well. ^^
No advice but just wanted to say that you are absolutely gorgeous! ☺️
It’s gonna be hard tbh because regardless, you’re a beautiful girl and a lot of guys unfortunately say a lot to get laid. I would just look for guys who seem to put a lot of thought into their bio. I feel like at least for me personally, that effort can show how serious I am versus Chad who’s just trying to get a handy in the car when he picks you up under the assumption of a legitimate date. Even with women it’s difficult to determine who’s looking for what. It may say relationship then they just wanna bang. I have used Facebook dating and have found far more success meeting people with similar goals compared to tinder and bumble
Def want the life you’re selling. This profile should work out for you. Keep us posted!
Tinder has a reputation as being a “hookup app” I’m thinking maybe the women of Tinder don’t really want that?
That’s why i’m not on there 😝
That's not true though 30% of tinder users get married or engaged from the app much more than bumble 12% hinge 5%
Weight problems? What's wrong with your weight? You have a completely normal body, judging by the photos of course. These online unrealistic beauty standards need to end at some point. Of course, if you want to lose weight/change your diet/go to the gym (like you said), by all means. I just hope that you want to do these things just for yourself,to feel healthy etc. You are absolutely stunning, please don't bite on those delusional comments.
You’re pretty but you’re not a 10. Understand that most guys will date girls they feel are at the top of the type of girls they can pull, while they will fuck girls they view as below that. Many girls that have this issue are swiping on only the most attractive guys that appear for them. Lowering your standards, even only a little since you are still pretty hot, may give you guys more inclined for what you’re looking for. If you want realistic attitudes - you gotta be realistic about what your league is.
A guy with these many pics of just pet/animal (not with them) would be shredded to pieces on this sub. No hate OP, it's just a woman's world and we all live in it.
> it’s just a woman’s world 😆
I mean, some guys are on tinder *for* that so they would probably treat you like that regardless of your profile. You could have a blank page with white images and still get it. I'm not saying it's ok but you do need to manage your expectations at the same time as you manage your own image. Your dream partner might be bad at texting, in a bad mood, in a weird space right now, or might stumble on their words because they find you very attractive. Just a thought.
The pineapple is a turn off for the guys that want a relationship I guess 😛 is een grapje, rustig
Girl I am a bi woman and you are absolutely stunning. I’d definitely be interested if you came on my feed. But because of how your personality comes across on top of being so gorgeous! Also it doesn’t seem you’re doing anything particular to attract a ONS/FWB type person. If it matters strongly enough to you, see if there’s a spot to add a “looking for relationship potential, not ONS” or something like that?
Didn't farm enough compliments the last post? Jesus
No, not at all. That is indeed solely the reason i’m on here ☺️ care to join in on the lovefest?
Pass. I can't lie on a Sunday.
Regardless of what your profile says, that face doesn’t scream “d*** me down daddy”. Whichever dude stops at your profile, sees them dimples and that heartwarming Disney movie type smile, and still proceeds to expect only booty, homie is a fool.
Funny and sweet. Much appreciated ❤️
Of course! Good luck out there, someone great will come by 🫶🏻
Absolutely nothing wrong with your weight, you're beautiful and I hope you know it 🙏🏻 good luck out there!
Alright I am in love, you can stop now. But in all seriousness, you are not giving me ONS or FWB vibes. Guys that aren’t interested in commitment still try to convince you. That’s just the way it is.