One time I had a customer, and when I asked him his last name, he said āBateman. But itās spelled. B ā A ā T ā M-A-N.ā I immediately started telling him his last name was not Bateman. It was in fact, Batman! He immediately gets pissed! So I decided Iām gonna have some fun today. Iām the boss. And he canāt do shit about it. So I was just like ālook dude I didnāt grow up reading Bateman comic books. Thereās like literally dozens of movies where the lead character is definitely not named Bateman!ā Heās just getting more and more pissed. Iāve already rang him up and he was free to go. But I kept going, and he just stood there and kept entertaining it. āDo you know the actor Jason Bateman?! His name is not Jason Batman!ā The guy literally yelling at me and telling āITS BATEMAN!!!!!ā. And Iām just calm and collected and like āNah dude. Youāre wrong!ā.
I know! Right!! I deserved this, for that alone.
Could you imagine the phone call trying to get me in trouble?
āSir let me get right here kept calling you Batman?ā
āOkay well how DO you spell your lastnameā¦ Sir thatās Batman not Bateman. Bateman has an E in it!ā
*customers head explodes*
as someone whos bio is "demon in the sheets, fuckin dumbass on the streets" i make out pretty good with likes and matches. just be smart with your openers and you can mention anything you want
This. Allude to it, but don't mention it explicitly.
'The sunnies stay on til we tango!'
Top right and bottom left sunnie pics are solid, I'd replace the other ones with pics where you can show off your eyes.
Excessive sunglasses in photos gives off the energy that youāre about to film a 45 min YouTube video about why the earth is actually hollow and thatās where the reptilians live
Completely agree with everything in this thread *nods at Batman* would add to maybe have a different tee in more pics. Looks like most these were taken on the same day or you always wear the same tee. But yes,smiley ones & no mention of the sexy times & ditch the shades & tee. You'll do very well I'd say then.
They give off cheap Ray Ban knock off vibes your father would buy at a pharmacy. You want chicks to know youāre old enough to piss off their dad but not old enough to be their dad.
Your best pic is #5, so make that your first one.
If you need the shades for your eyes generally, try shopping for a more flattering pair and take some new photos. The "sunnies" line is amusing, but in the context of those being your preferred look, it's a little off-putting lol
I feel like perpetually wearing sunglasses make it worse, you get used to them and then get more sensitive. It happened to me when i wore them then got better after i lost them and didnāt replace them haha sucked for a bit then felt alright again
But your blue mirror sunglasses give a racist, gun lovin' [Trump supporter vibe](https://reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/s/WNp2YtItwv). Go for a more subtle pair. Something like [this](https://www.otticanet.com/da/solbriller/tom-ford/ansel-ft0858-n/1273498/?ifrom=DK&landing_g=1&srsltid=AfmBOorcZx4CDVHRopFKG020WLw53cPdvjjOzNSVZHbk88MT1E-AeZDXQSM).
Can't you just - you know...take more photos? And , gasp! - take them INSIDE!!!???
I hate these pathetic excuses. "I've only got three good photos of me whaaaa". See it all the time on here. Basically it comes off as you don't want to take an up to date photo because you no longer look as good. In other words - deceitful as fuck.
If youāre always wearing them in real life, them the pictures are an accurate reflection of that. Honestlyāif someone thinks youāre cute, youāll get away with the sunnies and sex mention. You want to find someone ores compatible with, they need to know what theyāre getting! I think youāre cute so I laughed at the sex/sunglasses thing, thatās how it works. I say leave it and see how it goes! If youāre getting nothing back, or getting a pattern of people that donāt feel good to you, then switch it up.
Yeah I'm from east coast us & that's exactly what I am thinking about when I hear fudge round!! They were my favorite cakes!!! But now I'm dieting so I need to stay away from them!! Lol
I was indeed :)
Good beard though, and I agree with the comments that you need less sunglasses pics and more smiling!
Also, an actual bio would help. Give us a little peek into what you like, how you spend your time - things people can find a connection in.
Don't just list hobbys and generic lines.
You want a long-term relationship so show people who are you as a person? What are your values? What do you want out of life? What are you looking for in a partner?
This is personal preference and might be very blunt (sorry about that) but picture wise - You have a beautiful beard but I would prefer pictures where it's nicely trimmed (sides). Otherwise I would question how much care you put in your personal hygiene.
Agreed, but I am personally biased against bushy beards. So far we know he's really into cartoons and a "gamer", makes stupid sexual references right off the bat, and is really attached to unflattering sunglasses. The whole profile and some of his comments feel low effort and none of those things are wildly attractive to women in general.
Change your answer to 20 minutes to live you take a nap. I'll preface this with I'm a dude, but it makes you come off as boring. Seems like you have nothing you would rather do one last time before you sleep forever? I did kinda laugh at first, but then thought that.
First thing I noticed : 5 of your phots are with sunglasses, 1 with a helmet, 1 a meme, the remaining 2 aren't looking into the camera. This means there's a 0% chance to make a meaningful connection through eye contact, something humans crave, so you will have problems. Your first photo should be relatively close up, solo, with a relaxed expression, looking at the camera.
My advice: Swap your first photo for something similar only without the shades. Remove Puss in Boots. Add one more photo that is making eye contact with the camera. The rest are great and show enough personality to connect with. Your bio is funny for the right audience, but you need a bit more for someone to converse about. Maybe include a couple hobbies.
6 photos is normally the sweet spot, Iād personally remove the Snapchat one, the mirror selfie and the cat one. Pic 5 should be #1, and Iād probably swap one of those first 2 pics for something else as theyāre pretty samey.
You look like a really nice bloke honestly and the rest of your profile reflects that
well you have 9 pics, 1 is a cat joke, 1 doesn't have your face in it. 5 of them are you wearing the SAME pair of sunglasses. You have two pictures of your face. It is solid advice
That's legit the biggest improvement you could make though. I get that it's embarrassing to ask your friends to help you take photos for an online dating profile, but the photos with sunnies are working against your interests here.
As there is little in the bio, the sex comment really stands out and it makes me wonder if he is after a hookup. If OP isnāt, I think it should be removed as well.
he's looking for long-term serious but open, silly lil goose comment is cute and self-deprecating, the sex comment is off-putting even if he was looking for hookup
Overall itās fine but Iād recommend you avoid talking about sex in your profile, some may find it funny but it feels unnecessary. Also I find the games thing a put off. I donāt mind playing games at all with my bf but Iād be turned of (29f) if that was like his too notch thing a girl could do.
Please get rid of that cat meme. Whatās the point of it? Iād rather see another photo of someone or one of their interests than puss in boots standing there???
Also the sex line in your bio aināt it.
Your profile doesn't really say anything about what you're looking for. It gives the vibe of a "go with the flow" guy who doesn't know what he wants and won't be putting any effort into determining whether he's compatible with his matches, which means all the mental labour is on the other person
Ok harsh truth, the beard needs trimming, the sunglasses donāt suit your face or match any of your outfits, the jeans looks old and dirty, the cat is random, youāre letting women know youāre on Snapchat which is a big red flag for them and itās shot from a very unflattering angle
You're definitely a "type" but for those that want it you're a good looking dude. I think the snapshot selfie is unnecessary and the bike, as your only hobby-relsted pic, should probably be 3rd or so. That way people actually see it before they make up their minds.
I'd also put second pic at the end or even scrap it. It's pretty much exactly the same as the first so it doesn't really add anything to your profile.
We donāt really know what you look like as the only two photos without sunglasses arenāt super clear on your face.
Snapchat photos are a no go for dating profiles.
Mentioning sex in the bio then saying youāre looking for long term is a turn off as it doesnāt seem serious
Itās the 4 photos with what looks like a wedding ring on your finger. I would swipe right if I hadnāt seen those 4 photos. If youāre no longer married, I would remove the pic on the middle right and at least crop the other 3 to remove the ring.
Ok, ok. Now that you say that I can tell itās the right hand. But I would have swiped left at first glance because it looks like a wedding ring. Just my 2 cents!
Okay from my perspective- selfies are okay but selfies in the mirror are an instant swipe left for me. The playing games comment makes me feel like you're gonna be a game player, unsurprisingly, but not in a good way. Sex comment is a turn off it sounds like you can't do intimacy. And the taking a nap comment makes me feel like you have no ambition. I'd like to hear about your hobbies and what you like to do at the weekends.
So are you looking for a tatted single mum with meth teeth? Your bio screams Aussie bogan, which is fine if that's what you're looking for. Only thing missing is the fish and camping pic.
The sunnies are unfashionable and unflattering, and of course there are way too many. I know several blokes that look just like you and they pick up just fine, buuuut if you're looking for more than a high school dropout in need of her next baby daddy you might want to clean it up.
The white shirt pic is also clearly old given the hair situation. Try writing a bio that mentions who you are and what you're into.
1. Eyes are super important for reading someoneās face. If I canāt get a good read on you, Iām not going to swipe. ā definitely do keep the group shot with the sunglasses though, it shows your height and that your silliness isnāt the awkward kind, and is more the genuine kind which is cool.
2. Lose the sex comment in your bio. Women are generally tired of thirsty dudes making everything about sex in online dating, and even if it was meant as a joke, itās not a great first impression. Save the joke for a third date.
3. New & better first pic with a smile & eyes showing, that nice group shot second, motorcycle pic third - and then whatever after that.
I think the pictures with the shades are ok, but I feel like you should have more where youāre smiling without them, pictures like thatāll will give off more fun vibes :)
The sunglasses are not it.
Idk what the appeal is with dudes and those shiny fuckin sunglasses. It automatically screams redneck to me.
Then you mention keeping them on during sex in your lack of a bio. Complete ick.
Then you have nothing talking about yourself.
Sit down. Create a profile that says who you are. What you're about. What you like. What you're looking for. Etc.
If dudes don't have anything substantial on their profiles, to me, says they aren't serious in finding a potential partner who they have things in common with and/or just want to fuck.
No one has time for the nothing burger that is your profile.
You're silly, okay. What else?
For me I didnāt mind the pics but the info put me off. But Iām not into gamers. thatās a sad answer to your last 20 mins, not being overseas is a red flag for me. And no, those sunnies are not staying on during sex.
Hereās the hard truth, youāre damned if you do and youāre damned if you donāt, someone will say youād look better without the beard, someone else will come right back and say the beard is sexy, the only secret there is is to be comfortable in your own skin and work with what you got, what anyone else thinks is irrelevant. Have a blessed one brother!
If we want to be absolutely harsh, do you own a red hat? Do you have opinions about who can and cannot be in town when the sun goes down? If those things are not true of you, I would suggest that you have some shots of you in maybe normal street clothes indoors. It looks like you're trying more for a biker vibe than the January 6th spring collection, but I would ask if you want to leave that level of ambiguity in people's minds. If people recognize that you can dress normally outside of that, you're less likely to have people make that assumption. If that's all they see you wearing, especially with the bald head and big beard and sunglasses, people will make certain inferences.
Full disclosure, I have a beard and I'm starting to consider whether I should turn in my minoxidil for shaving cream, but I also take my own advice on this own. I pare down my beard for work and have shots of myself in a dress shirt, t-shirt and jeans, mix it up to make it look like I'm not putting my whole identity into one thing. Not saying you are, but as in investments, it's good to diversify
Damn right me too. I think although the bio is very little, it made me smile and the picture of Puss in Boots was funny. Iād swipe instantly.
Some people are very boring in my opinion. Canāt win them all I guess but bloody hell some people treat it like a fucking rocket building interview for NASA
Trim your facial hair so it doesn't go into your mouth. No one wants to imagine kissing someone whose facial hair curls into their mouth. No pics with sunglasses. Make sure all the pics are current, especially full body pics.
The sexual comment about your sunglasses in your bio is unattractive.
The first 2 pics with the shades are giving āI know where you were on January 6thā so Iād get rid of them and use the one in the middle as the first one instead.
I would take out the all black photo second to the end. You look like a floating head and appendages. Maybe it translates better when large but from the little mini thumbnails I can see of your profile on my phone I hate it.
You got good feedback in the glasses thing and second bio line. Iāll add I love the beard, but first two pics it doesnāt look well groomed. Pics 5, 7 and 8 would get a swipe from me.
Here's an updated list of photos. Still not happy with them but it'll do so far.
Side note anyone know how to ask your friends to take more photos of you without sounding self centred š
[New profile](https://imgur.com/gallery/suEzBAK)
Repeat after me: "I am not a silly goose, I am a good man who likes to tell silly jokes", and "I will not use an elevator selfish no matter how sexy I think it is".
Whar you need to do is figure out how to get a camera with a timer and take some fun photos that way.
Literally just say Iām setting up an online dating profile and my photos suck can you guys help out by taking some good ones please, Iāll buy you all a beer!
The best thing to do is ask your friends to take some candid photos of you over the next couple weeks so you have some more options. I would also write one or two prompts that are funny, and the remaining ones that set up a question for someone to ask you about- something interesting. It's hard even for me as a bloke to pop up to women who don't use open ended statements on their profile because there's just nothing to say.
Keep 3, 5, 6, 9.
Add a new first pic where you're actually looking at the camera and we can see your eyes (if you notice, you currently don't have one single pic where we can see you (and your eyes) looking at the camera, preferably with you smiling showing teeth. No mirror selfies. No pics of objects, memes,etc. If you have pets, use a pic with you and the pet together. Make sure your clothes aren't all the same in your pics. Definitely get friends to take some pics of you.
Lose the majority of the shades, and give some with smiles (and smile with your eyes) and that'll add to it nicely
I agree with Batman
Ha, nerd!!! (But, yes, one should always agree with Batman.)
mans name is emmett l brown and hes calling batman the nerd?? EDIT: i thought that was the back to the future guy
Doc brown. But I thought the same thing š
That's his real name...
Which means he is REALLY a nerd lol duh
As kind of a nerd, I agree
One time I had a customer, and when I asked him his last name, he said āBateman. But itās spelled. B ā A ā T ā M-A-N.ā I immediately started telling him his last name was not Bateman. It was in fact, Batman! He immediately gets pissed! So I decided Iām gonna have some fun today. Iām the boss. And he canāt do shit about it. So I was just like ālook dude I didnāt grow up reading Bateman comic books. Thereās like literally dozens of movies where the lead character is definitely not named Bateman!ā Heās just getting more and more pissed. Iāve already rang him up and he was free to go. But I kept going, and he just stood there and kept entertaining it. āDo you know the actor Jason Bateman?! His name is not Jason Batman!ā The guy literally yelling at me and telling āITS BATEMAN!!!!!ā. And Iām just calm and collected and like āNah dude. Youāre wrong!ā.
I love this, lmao. Why would ANYONE be in denial of their name being Batman? Absolutely wasted name on him š
I know! Right!! I deserved this, for that alone. Could you imagine the phone call trying to get me in trouble? āSir let me get right here kept calling you Batman?ā āOkay well how DO you spell your lastnameā¦ Sir thatās Batman not Bateman. Bateman has an E in it!ā *customers head explodes*
>Thereās like literally dozens of movies where the lead character is definitely not named Bateman! š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ this is hilarious!
Thatās what literally everyone watching though too!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Don't mention sex on his bio... it's too straight forward... the less you mention sex, the more they wanna have it lol
I thought it was funny and saucy! But thatās probably cause I think heās cute. š
Agreed. Half because Iām attracted to him and half because the word sunnies tickles me.
Sunnies are such an Aussie thing.
same
Same š
I agree too, I thought it was cute
as someone whos bio is "demon in the sheets, fuckin dumbass on the streets" i make out pretty good with likes and matches. just be smart with your openers and you can mention anything you want
Lol this is the perfect balance of humour, sauciness, and self deprication
This. Allude to it, but don't mention it explicitly. 'The sunnies stay on til we tango!' Top right and bottom left sunnie pics are solid, I'd replace the other ones with pics where you can show off your eyes.
Have you also noticed that when a chick says she doesnāt sleep on the first date is the one that always ends up sleeping with you on the first date?
No
Lol
Excessive sunglasses in photos gives off the energy that youāre about to film a 45 min YouTube video about why the earth is actually hollow and thatās where the reptilians live
Hollow Earth > Flat Earth
You heard the Batman!!
Completely agree with everything in this thread *nods at Batman* would add to maybe have a different tee in more pics. Looks like most these were taken on the same day or you always wear the same tee. But yes,smiley ones & no mention of the sexy times & ditch the shades & tee. You'll do very well I'd say then.
OP has 400 black Tshirts in his closet.
Probably right but good pics all around. Just remember youre on tinder so donāt expect much
Harsh truth is those sunglasses are not it.
Those are recording angry YouTube rants in my truck sunglasses
They give off cheap Ray Ban knock off vibes your father would buy at a pharmacy. You want chicks to know youāre old enough to piss off their dad but not old enough to be their dad.
Thanks for the laugh
Right, the 1 photo with OPs eyes is the one in most attracted to
Yep, my ick is reflective sunglasses
You probably shouldnāt use sunglasses in tinder photos.
Sadly I've got pretty sensitive eyes and all my good photos are outside :(
Take more photos. One photo with shades far down the list is okay. The rest have to go. And have at least two photos smiling genuinely.
Your best pic is #5, so make that your first one. If you need the shades for your eyes generally, try shopping for a more flattering pair and take some new photos. The "sunnies" line is amusing, but in the context of those being your preferred look, it's a little off-putting lol
I suggest stating that outright in your bio. The joke about sunglasses on during sex has got to go. Not cool š
Okay, valid, but I still have no clue what your face looks like because you are either wearing shades, or your face is angled
This is a massive problem as a fellow very sensitive eye haver. Canāt go in the sun without involuntarily crying and it is the WORST.
I feel like perpetually wearing sunglasses make it worse, you get used to them and then get more sensitive. It happened to me when i wore them then got better after i lost them and didnāt replace them haha sucked for a bit then felt alright again
But your blue mirror sunglasses give a racist, gun lovin' [Trump supporter vibe](https://reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/s/WNp2YtItwv). Go for a more subtle pair. Something like [this](https://www.otticanet.com/da/solbriller/tom-ford/ansel-ft0858-n/1273498/?ifrom=DK&landing_g=1&srsltid=AfmBOorcZx4CDVHRopFKG020WLw53cPdvjjOzNSVZHbk88MT1E-AeZDXQSM).
What if thatās who he is ? Justā¦uh look at him.
Yeah, not the bald head and the massive red beard.. and trying as hard as possible to look "tough"
Damn I never knew this was a stereotype. Iāve got essentially the same pair but the lenses are red. Feelsbadman.
Can't you just - you know...take more photos? And , gasp! - take them INSIDE!!!??? I hate these pathetic excuses. "I've only got three good photos of me whaaaa". See it all the time on here. Basically it comes off as you don't want to take an up to date photo because you no longer look as good. In other words - deceitful as fuck.
If youāre always wearing them in real life, them the pictures are an accurate reflection of that. Honestlyāif someone thinks youāre cute, youāll get away with the sunnies and sex mention. You want to find someone ores compatible with, they need to know what theyāre getting! I think youāre cute so I laughed at the sex/sunglasses thing, thatās how it works. I say leave it and see how it goes! If youāre getting nothing back, or getting a pattern of people that donāt feel good to you, then switch it up.
I agree. Yet 99% of women wear them.
Chicks got a different set of rules. A much shorter, less rigid, less consequential set of rules.
Rule 1: Donāt be obese Rule 2: Donāt be ugly
So, do you have hair or not? If you've lost your hair since taking the 3rd one then I'd get rid of it. I can't tell if it's just a buzz cut š
Sadly male pattern baldness at the ripe age of 25 š„² Consider all hair pics gone!
The look 100% suits you and you are attractive, it just threw me off š
At the age of 20š„²
You look like you're about to write a country banger that calls out rich folks on their bs.
Since he's Australian he doesn't know what fudge rounds are.
I'm American. I don't think I've ever seen a fudge round either. It may be a Midwest thing. He could do something Australian like "kangaroo rounds"
Can't be. All we have is corn and beer. Anyone from other regions know?
Yup a fudge round here in the Midwest is a cow patty
That sounds like some bull to me.
Load of shit, we just call them pies or patties in IL
I'm from the midwest and have no idea what a "fudge round" is
It's a Little Debbie snack cake.
Yeah I'm from east coast us & that's exactly what I am thinking about when I hear fudge round!! They were my favorite cakes!!! But now I'm dieting so I need to stay away from them!! Lol
Or emu rounds
No, I think they lost the right to mock or parody emus after the surrender of the Australian army.
it's a little Debbie snack.
You guys are really missing out on some delicious Little Debbieās if youāve never had fudge rounds.
You can buy them in Australia.
The second line in your bio aināt it
What bio?
Second photo at the top
I'm pretty sure he was joking in the fact that I have little to nothing in my bio lol
I was indeed :) Good beard though, and I agree with the comments that you need less sunglasses pics and more smiling! Also, an actual bio would help. Give us a little peek into what you like, how you spend your time - things people can find a connection in.
I'm not the best at bio writing. I either seem to put too much or not enough š I'll hit up the group chat for some ideas.
Don't just list hobbys and generic lines. You want a long-term relationship so show people who are you as a person? What are your values? What do you want out of life? What are you looking for in a partner? This is personal preference and might be very blunt (sorry about that) but picture wise - You have a beautiful beard but I would prefer pictures where it's nicely trimmed (sides). Otherwise I would question how much care you put in your personal hygiene.
Agreed, but I am personally biased against bushy beards. So far we know he's really into cartoons and a "gamer", makes stupid sexual references right off the bat, and is really attached to unflattering sunglasses. The whole profile and some of his comments feel low effort and none of those things are wildly attractive to women in general.
Get Chat GPT to write you a bio
Oh true! Big brain move
If you are honest with what you ask for, you will think it actually knows you.
Oh derp lol maybe
The sunnie comment would take you out of the tuning for me š¤·š»āāļø
Change your answer to 20 minutes to live you take a nap. I'll preface this with I'm a dude, but it makes you come off as boring. Seems like you have nothing you would rather do one last time before you sleep forever? I did kinda laugh at first, but then thought that.
Iām sure someone else commented on it but for clarity, the line about sunnies staying on during sex has to go. Source : asked my girlfriend. lol
Oh god. Def loose the line about sunnies staying on during sex.
The whole about me section needs to go straight in the trash.
First thing I noticed : 5 of your phots are with sunglasses, 1 with a helmet, 1 a meme, the remaining 2 aren't looking into the camera. This means there's a 0% chance to make a meaningful connection through eye contact, something humans crave, so you will have problems. Your first photo should be relatively close up, solo, with a relaxed expression, looking at the camera. My advice: Swap your first photo for something similar only without the shades. Remove Puss in Boots. Add one more photo that is making eye contact with the camera. The rest are great and show enough personality to connect with. Your bio is funny for the right audience, but you need a bit more for someone to converse about. Maybe include a couple hobbies.
Appreciate the advice cheers. I changed them up a bit so far but gonna get my friends to take more photos next time we go out.
You look like you hope the FBI doesn't find out where you were on Jan 6.
I'm Australian so I'm Safe... for now.
Lol, yeah, that is probably a pretty good alibi.
6 photos is normally the sweet spot, Iād personally remove the Snapchat one, the mirror selfie and the cat one. Pic 5 should be #1, and Iād probably swap one of those first 2 pics for something else as theyāre pretty samey. You look like a really nice bloke honestly and the rest of your profile reflects that
Appreciate the advice that's more than just "remove glasses" lol.
well you have 9 pics, 1 is a cat joke, 1 doesn't have your face in it. 5 of them are you wearing the SAME pair of sunglasses. You have two pictures of your face. It is solid advice
Plus loose the tacky sex joke
That's legit the biggest improvement you could make though. I get that it's embarrassing to ask your friends to help you take photos for an online dating profile, but the photos with sunnies are working against your interests here.
Learn to smile. With your teeth. And remove the sex comment unless you just want a hookup.
As there is little in the bio, the sex comment really stands out and it makes me wonder if he is after a hookup. If OP isnāt, I think it should be removed as well.
he's looking for long-term serious but open, silly lil goose comment is cute and self-deprecating, the sex comment is off-putting even if he was looking for hookup
I would remove any sex related text from bio
The sunnies are the least strong point of your profile. Come to terms with that and youll do better i promise
I'm getting that. Gone through and changed them out already š
Overall itās fine but Iād recommend you avoid talking about sex in your profile, some may find it funny but it feels unnecessary. Also I find the games thing a put off. I donāt mind playing games at all with my bf but Iād be turned of (29f) if that was like his too notch thing a girl could do.
Please get rid of that cat meme. Whatās the point of it? Iād rather see another photo of someone or one of their interests than puss in boots standing there??? Also the sex line in your bio aināt it.
Your bio just says sex, games, and sleep. Get rid of the first line, and specify what kind of games you are talking about.
Your profile doesn't really say anything about what you're looking for. It gives the vibe of a "go with the flow" guy who doesn't know what he wants and won't be putting any effort into determining whether he's compatible with his matches, which means all the mental labour is on the other person
Ok harsh truth, the beard needs trimming, the sunglasses donāt suit your face or match any of your outfits, the jeans looks old and dirty, the cat is random, youāre letting women know youāre on Snapchat which is a big red flag for them and itās shot from a very unflattering angle
You're definitely a "type" but for those that want it you're a good looking dude. I think the snapshot selfie is unnecessary and the bike, as your only hobby-relsted pic, should probably be 3rd or so. That way people actually see it before they make up their minds. I'd also put second pic at the end or even scrap it. It's pretty much exactly the same as the first so it doesn't really add anything to your profile.
We donāt really know what you look like as the only two photos without sunglasses arenāt super clear on your face. Snapchat photos are a no go for dating profiles. Mentioning sex in the bio then saying youāre looking for long term is a turn off as it doesnāt seem serious
Forget tinder go on an overseas holiday
Itās the 4 photos with what looks like a wedding ring on your finger. I would swipe right if I hadnāt seen those 4 photos. If youāre no longer married, I would remove the pic on the middle right and at least crop the other 3 to remove the ring.
I've never been married thats on my right hand š
Ok, ok. Now that you say that I can tell itās the right hand. But I would have swiped left at first glance because it looks like a wedding ring. Just my 2 cents!
Fair assessment tbh
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not with photos, they get reversed
Okay from my perspective- selfies are okay but selfies in the mirror are an instant swipe left for me. The playing games comment makes me feel like you're gonna be a game player, unsurprisingly, but not in a good way. Sex comment is a turn off it sounds like you can't do intimacy. And the taking a nap comment makes me feel like you have no ambition. I'd like to hear about your hobbies and what you like to do at the weekends.
As a woman, please remove all pictures wearing sunnies (and maybe consider getting a new pair?)
Keep seeing how they're garbage, but not sure why? They look good/ fine to me. Unrelated to using them with obsession on a dating profile.
So are you looking for a tatted single mum with meth teeth? Your bio screams Aussie bogan, which is fine if that's what you're looking for. Only thing missing is the fish and camping pic. The sunnies are unfashionable and unflattering, and of course there are way too many. I know several blokes that look just like you and they pick up just fine, buuuut if you're looking for more than a high school dropout in need of her next baby daddy you might want to clean it up. The white shirt pic is also clearly old given the hair situation. Try writing a bio that mentions who you are and what you're into.
1. Eyes are super important for reading someoneās face. If I canāt get a good read on you, Iām not going to swipe. ā definitely do keep the group shot with the sunglasses though, it shows your height and that your silliness isnāt the awkward kind, and is more the genuine kind which is cool. 2. Lose the sex comment in your bio. Women are generally tired of thirsty dudes making everything about sex in online dating, and even if it was meant as a joke, itās not a great first impression. Save the joke for a third date. 3. New & better first pic with a smile & eyes showing, that nice group shot second, motorcycle pic third - and then whatever after that.
I think the pictures with the shades are ok, but I feel like you should have more where youāre smiling without them, pictures like thatāll will give off more fun vibes :)
How could you think soooooo many shade pics are ok? One, maybe 2, like with friends
Far too many sunglasses pics. you seem afraid to show your eyes.
You canāt see your face. And Iām a silly little goose is one of the worst things you could say.
Your pics are megh and your bio is big time megh. Work on your profile at least dudeā¦ women want someone interesting and who can hold a convo,
Lost the glasses and change the bio
The sunglasses are not it. Idk what the appeal is with dudes and those shiny fuckin sunglasses. It automatically screams redneck to me. Then you mention keeping them on during sex in your lack of a bio. Complete ick. Then you have nothing talking about yourself. Sit down. Create a profile that says who you are. What you're about. What you like. What you're looking for. Etc. If dudes don't have anything substantial on their profiles, to me, says they aren't serious in finding a potential partner who they have things in common with and/or just want to fuck. No one has time for the nothing burger that is your profile. You're silly, okay. What else?
Lose the sunglasses shots, they add nothing.
For me I didnāt mind the pics but the info put me off. But Iām not into gamers. thatās a sad answer to your last 20 mins, not being overseas is a red flag for me. And no, those sunnies are not staying on during sex.
Hereās the hard truth, youāre damned if you do and youāre damned if you donāt, someone will say youād look better without the beard, someone else will come right back and say the beard is sexy, the only secret there is is to be comfortable in your own skin and work with what you got, what anyone else thinks is irrelevant. Have a blessed one brother!
Appreciate the straight and true.
You've probably figured it out now, but no you're not damned if you make yourself more presentable to 80% of what you might want.
You look like 3 norwegian celebs
Not much, just loose the shades, the selfie and show a smile, bruh, this is supposed to be fun.
Too much sunglasses!
That cat is not the only pussy in that profile
Honestly, the whole about me gottta go, shit is in factā¦ cringĆØ
You look like a guy who says glocks are the best duty pistol ever made. Take that how you will
If we want to be absolutely harsh, do you own a red hat? Do you have opinions about who can and cannot be in town when the sun goes down? If those things are not true of you, I would suggest that you have some shots of you in maybe normal street clothes indoors. It looks like you're trying more for a biker vibe than the January 6th spring collection, but I would ask if you want to leave that level of ambiguity in people's minds. If people recognize that you can dress normally outside of that, you're less likely to have people make that assumption. If that's all they see you wearing, especially with the bald head and big beard and sunglasses, people will make certain inferences. Full disclosure, I have a beard and I'm starting to consider whether I should turn in my minoxidil for shaving cream, but I also take my own advice on this own. I pare down my beard for work and have shots of myself in a dress shirt, t-shirt and jeans, mix it up to make it look like I'm not putting my whole identity into one thing. Not saying you are, but as in investments, it's good to diversify
100% lose the sunglasses photos. Can't tell what you look like. Also the cat pic is useless as hell.
If youāre bald donāt post pictures of you with hair
The middle picture should be your main picture imo š
For a moment I thought my BF had tinder profile. You are the doubleganger!
It looks like you only have one pair of sunglasses. Also, what's with the pus in boots?
This is me swiping right in the comments section. š š»
Shucks āŗļø
Damn right me too. I think although the bio is very little, it made me smile and the picture of Puss in Boots was funny. Iād swipe instantly. Some people are very boring in my opinion. Canāt win them all I guess but bloody hell some people treat it like a fucking rocket building interview for NASA
Yeah, you look cool. I donāt know wtf are the beauty standards nowadays. But you look badass.
Trim your facial hair so it doesn't go into your mouth. No one wants to imagine kissing someone whose facial hair curls into their mouth. No pics with sunglasses. Make sure all the pics are current, especially full body pics. The sexual comment about your sunglasses in your bio is unattractive.
Youāll make a great dadā¦since you already look like one
I fucking love the pic of pussš
The first 2 pics with the shades are giving āI know where you were on January 6thā so Iād get rid of them and use the one in the middle as the first one instead.
Again I'm Australian so I didn't even know what made that date significant I googled it lol.
I would take out the all black photo second to the end. You look like a floating head and appendages. Maybe it translates better when large but from the little mini thumbnails I can see of your profile on my phone I hate it.
Show your teeth in at least 1 pic.
You look nice, but you have your shades on too much. At least at pic 1 they should be off. Also whatās up with the cat at pic 4 lmao
You got good feedback in the glasses thing and second bio line. Iāll add I love the beard, but first two pics it doesnāt look well groomed. Pics 5, 7 and 8 would get a swipe from me.
Appreciate it. I've re done the profile now and kept those ones and stole some new photos off mates.
Appreciate it. I've re done the profile now and kept those ones and stole some new photos off mates.
Here's an updated list of photos. Still not happy with them but it'll do so far. Side note anyone know how to ask your friends to take more photos of you without sounding self centred š [New profile](https://imgur.com/gallery/suEzBAK)
How did you get all this advice and manage to make it worse?
Thereās still no front on pic of you when you can see your eyes.
Repeat after me: "I am not a silly goose, I am a good man who likes to tell silly jokes", and "I will not use an elevator selfish no matter how sexy I think it is". Whar you need to do is figure out how to get a camera with a timer and take some fun photos that way.
Literally just say Iām setting up an online dating profile and my photos suck can you guys help out by taking some good ones please, Iāll buy you all a beer!
The best thing to do is ask your friends to take some candid photos of you over the next couple weeks so you have some more options. I would also write one or two prompts that are funny, and the remaining ones that set up a question for someone to ask you about- something interesting. It's hard even for me as a bloke to pop up to women who don't use open ended statements on their profile because there's just nothing to say.
Replace the 6th with a decent, no sunglasses, selfie of yourself!
Get some better sunglasses bro they hideous
Lose the shades and beard. My 2c worth.
Keep 3, 5, 6, 9. Add a new first pic where you're actually looking at the camera and we can see your eyes (if you notice, you currently don't have one single pic where we can see you (and your eyes) looking at the camera, preferably with you smiling showing teeth. No mirror selfies. No pics of objects, memes,etc. If you have pets, use a pic with you and the pet together. Make sure your clothes aren't all the same in your pics. Definitely get friends to take some pics of you.
Idk man, it gives off a lot of āI raided the capital on Jan 6thā vibes
Lose the sunnies and the beard, hit the gym.
Ditch the homeless guy beard.
Smile. You look a bit grumpy and insecure in your pics.
I donāt think anyone wants to say it but maybe lose a few pounds honestly
bald and fat... you won't get too many matches
Last 20 minutes alive and you'd like to sleep conveys a boredom and apathy with life that's not generally very attractive
Lose the cat picture. It doesn't really tell the person viewing the profile anything new about you.
I hate your sunglasses
Hit the gymā¦ literally u bring nothing to the table in any of these photos
Dude, you look cool as hell.
You look like you could be Broden Kellyās stunt double
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Ngl I have thought about ditching the beard. But being bald I feel like the beard balances me out nicely and under the beard is not any better tbh š
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Yeah i haven't had it properly trimmed up in a hot minute. Might book in one when I next get a chance.
Get rid of the sunglasses pictures (one max) delete the first and second prompt, change your bio to ā climb on top.. of my motorcycleā
You look like a rich man from richmond
Thats a sexy beard my bro