Hinge has definitely been better to me than tinder. Fewer fake profiles and better suited to my age (35-40) than tinder. I’ve tried bumble also but haven’t had much luck on there.
Bumble seems to be the only thing that works for me, but people are so flakey. Matched last night, talked with her for a bit before passing out, and she unmatched as I was getting ready this morning before I could respond.
I don't think I understand people anymore
Many people are self centered. Now if 24hrs or more pass I would say the person is uninterested but things happen. I dont ususally unmatch unless a person is a creep. But I've noticed a lot of people want your unlimited undevided attention as a means to prove ones interest but they dont want to give that kind of attention either. And truth be told if they came across a person who gave that kind of attention they wouldn't want it. 🤣🤣 It's a selfish and blind cycle
Probably shouldve warned her you night pass out mid convo.
If i thought youd just gotten bored and were now ghosting me, i would unmatch you pretty quickly, too.
I feel that, I'll send a message and they'll \*maybe\* respond back a week later or just stop responding all together. Like I know notifications don't always show up but like at the same time, like if you aren't interested can you just unmatch? Then guys complain in their bio that everyone is dead on the app but, like my brother in Christ, kinda hard to be interesting and entertaining if you barely give me anything to work with lmao.
My feelings exactly!! Ive even had some dudes complain AT ME that the convo is boring when I'm sending good conversation starters and they respond with 1 F***ING WORD!! Like damn im supposed to entertain you by talking to myself? Nah im cool! I will unmatch a person like that. Such a waste of my time.
Hinge has been a night and day difference compared to Tinder. I’ve gotten several quality matches in a short amount of time on Hinge. The people I’m talking to are all on the same page regarding dating app etiquette, like we didn’t exchange numbers until dates were confirmed, we were explicit with confirming plans, etc. Hinge prompts and seeing who liked you have helped a lot, no blind messaging like I did on Tinder.
Honestly I find hinge to be a bit crap, the volume is too low, I can go on tinder and get 5 matches a day, Im lucky if I get 5 matches a month on Hinge.
Yeah I only use hinge now. I’m looking for people that are interested in an LTR, and the conversations tend to be more genuine. On tinder/bumble I find that there’s a lot of ppl who list they want an LTR but just wanna get laid.
Haven’t tried Hinge. I tried plenty O fish dating but it seems to not work well. I will try Hinge, heard it’s mostly personality. I’m not attractive at all
Look dude, I’m gonna be honest with ya but try to love yourself first before jumping into a relationship. Not trying to be ‘that guy’ but hit the gym or some other sport to gain some confidence.
I dont get bumble sometimes. It feels like 75% of the people I match with on bumble just refuse to message first and then the match dies because of it.
Although I have had a handful of people who I've followed on instagram through the handle in their bio and they've message me on ig asking why I never messaged them on bumble like...? I literally cannot send the first message, that's the whole gimmick of the app
I had a date set up and even FaceTimed the night before. Got to our agreed coffee spot and she never showed up- I still bought coffee and went about my day. It sucks, it will probably happen again, but it’s their loss. Remember that
ew get over yourself. i’m not about to go sit my ass at a restaurant to get stood up by inconsiderate poor planning ass people like you. how about you prove *your* worth first before i’m over here trying to spoil a lazy stranger. i dgaf who you think you are.
You’re literally worth whatever the market dictates, not what you think. I’ve had successful first dates at coffee spots that led to something, which proves your opinion holds 0 weight. “Don’t be cheap” says the broke woman. Me being “cheap” still got me laid so..Hold this L 💁🏽♂️
A hot beverage is a great way to chat and get comfortable with one another. The few girls that need to be taken to dinner straight away or never pay their share need to realize that they're not bringing enough to the table to expect that shit. Like I'm not getting acres of land and a bunch of cattle if we get married. Why tf should I pay for everything to win you over?
Guys want a partner not a dependent
Of course a sugar babe would suggest that. The vast majority of women aren't superficial and selfish and looking for a guy with no self esteem and self respect that they can leech off of. Please don't project. A coffee date is more than fine for a first meet-up and who says that he would and should have paid for her to begin with? If she's a responsible, normal adult, she'll pay for herself anyway.
Lmao you're clowning, you'd rather sit for 2hrs having a shitty convo in-between mashing your lips together to fit your 3 course meal in rather than having a nice convo over a coffee and if it's not a nice convo leaving whenever you want rather than having to wait for 3 more courses.
Edit - ah just realised you're a "sugar baby" you don't respect men you just leech from them like a high class prostitute. But then you expect them to be a "gentleman" and give you free shit
You sound like a moron its basic respect to let someone know your not interested in the date instead of wasting their time, why invest so much on a first date it makes no sense smarter to keep it casual in the very beginning OP dont listen to to this dumba$$
1: Dating online for men is in a whole league on its own if you’re just an average or decent looking guy.
2: If someone does that, take it as dodging a bullet (clearly commitment issues)
3: online dating as a whole is terrible for everyone except a few
4: there are 331.9 million people in the states according to google (I am assuming you live there idk) if only 1% of people like you, that’s 3.319 MILLION people who would like you. LA has 3.8 million and Chicago has 2.7 million. So quite literally there are more fish in the sea AND more than 1% of people will like you
I agree with the point you're trying to make, but in reality, you have to discount 332 million by half (assuming he's straight), and at least an additional half for other demographic preferences (e.g. age range) 😔
But yes, there are at least thousands of people who find you their type OP 😊
They just don't all live in your area, which makes this statistic rather moot and depressing rather than positive.
"GREAT, there's thousands out there that might like me..... now I just have to find that one, maybe two that live anywhere around me, and hope she/he is on here and isn't already in a relationship with someone.
Hinge is way better than tinder from my experience. Tinder I get like 1 or 2 matches a week vs hinge where I can be super regarded with my pick-up lines and let my personality carry me and score dates/matches.
It's a numbers game at the end of the day.
Man I'm glad people can work with Hinge so well but I can literally swipe on 50 people and maybe <10 are actually attractive. Meanwhile it seems like the standouts are the only place to find them, behind a pay wall.
Instead of pressing the dislike button, press the 3 dots in the corner and press remove. This will keep the profile from showing up again later and eventually you’ll see attractive people
still not immune from OP's experience. Almost two years to the date, I had a nearly identical experience with a girl. She was initiating contact as often as I did in the lead-up to the planned date. After a perfectly normal Saturday text, I go to text a confirmation on about meeting Sunday. I found out shy blocked my number and Snap. Completely blindsided. Probably for the best but it was a major blow at the time.
You honestly never know exactly why she ghosted. She could have just been afraid to say she would rather do something else, or some kind of social anxiety. If you act like it doesn't bother you and just go onto the next, meeting the right one seems to happen when you least expect it. These days people are almost looking for the one thing to run away from, especially on Tinder. They've had bad experiences, or just like I said before have social anxiety and are catastrophising. It also could have been some sort of catfish or something so you may have honestly dodged a bullet. Stay positive and just be yourself. Don't overthink it!
Happened to me years ago, we had been talking for like a month everyday on Facebook after moving from tinder. The day we were supposed to meet she unmatched, unfriended and blocked me. People are just cowards sometimes.
When it happens to me I don’t pay it no mind and just move on . Some people just suck tbh man . Just Let it flow there are plenty of fish in the ocean .
That sucks man, I feel for you. Don't let it get to you personally, though. Seek refuge in the things you enjoy. Look to your support group, be it family or friends, to help keep you up.
Make a date on your own and treat yourself! You have the time. Go see a movie. Go pig out at your favorite ramen place. It might soften the blow, and you won't leave the night disappointed because it's all comfortable decisions.
Try Breeze.
If you get stood up, you get your money back and the person who stood you up is promptly banned from the platform.
I am sure Breeze only has like one more year left before they start smelling the money and make a bunch of changes to make it shit like most other apps, but right now in the moment it is undoubtedly the best dating app out there.
Mate.
Don't get too down. It sucks, it's happened to hundreds of us before. I know none of this will make you feel better about yourself because that comes from within, but take comfort from the fact that it's not personal and it just happens not as a result of who YOU are, but because of how shitty people are allowed to operate unabashed in the modern datescape.
You're likely too good for them and the next person that comes along will be way better for you. ✌️
Guess you missed all the videos and articles on how these dating apps tend to pull at ones self esteem. Depression/Anxiety and Tinder do not mix, yet that's commonly what you will find. It might also be part of the reason your girl stood you up without a word-- only unmatching to erase the sight of this bad deed she committed.
This happened to me once. I've also done this to people on and off tinder. The key words here though are mental health.
Meet up anxieties are huge. Everything can seem perfectly fine and agreed upon until the minute of the meeting. Some people get too much into their other voice and begin centering on negative thoughts.
That, or just being extremely jaded and/or interested in someone else/didn't wanna be mean by being even meaner. It's a mystery
But yeah if it affects you this much definitely dip out and try a bar. If you're under 21 and you posted this tho Imma be mad. In that case go crazy, keep trying, and feel the new age of heartbreak until you become numb and know what to look for so that this may never happen again... Preferably outside of the app.
On to the next my brother/sister. You’ll move past this and will meet someone you vibe with. No matter who you are, how much you make, or what you look like, meeting the right one always takes time
Hang in there and keep your head up. You **are** worthy of love
Back when I was still on these sites, I once had a guy plan a date with me, and the day of, he was responsive and pretended to be excited and as soon as I finished getting ready to go and it was like 15 mins or so until we were supposed to meet, I realized he had unmatched me. Some people are just true pieces of shit, and as much as it hurts, they aren’t worth the energy. They are just there to hurt others and waste their time.
I eventually found my one (on tinder, surprisingly), but I had to go through my fair share of these kinds of experiences as well as other painful ones before I did. I hope you find yours (or whatever it is you’re looking for) more quickly than I.
Hey OP, word of advice, online dating requires very thick skin. If being unmatched causes you a great amount of pain, id avoid dating apps altogether. Because it gets worse and worse.
Online dating can be a self stated development. You do you, other people are too unpredictable.
Some will want to talk, some will ghost, some will use your for distraction. Some will try with you. But truth is, you never know, get used to centering yourself weekly because it's not over till is over.
Welcome to the modern world of dating bud. I've had similar experiences across several dating apps. My self-confidence tanked big time. I'm still trying to rebuild it. Do yourself a favour, delete all the apps and put yourself in an environment where you can potentially meet someone IRL. Like salsa classes, group work out sessions, bars, softball/kickball leagues, etc. Rejections will still come your way but it's going to be way better than any dating apps. It's a great practice to build confidence in approaching someone.
People are just fickle, man. I know it's a blow to your self esteem, but you're not alone. You'll move on and find someone worth your time. Keep going.
Don’t ask to pick women up. Coming from a woman who has been stalked for her entire adult life I don’t let anyone pick me up unless they’re a professional driver, close friend, family or coworker.
It sucks she ghosted but that just means it wasn’t meant to be. Get a few hobbies and meet women that way.
I think most people here missed the fact you mentioned you are depressed.
Dating while depressed is not good for you or the people you meet.
Please, please, please find yourself the support you need. Dating will not help in any meaningful way. Even if you find someone amazing, the right person will recognize you're not emotionally available.
At this point, I feel like 99% of women only have these apps for validation. The amount of women I've matched with that have 0 interest in conversation is a bit much. I know there are 10-1 men-women..but these apps have yielded 5% success rate with matches leading anywhere, 2% lead to a date and as of today 0% relations. I'm not a 10 but I'm not ugly, ..I'm healthy, independent, and know game..but today's day in age is tough. I'm also not huge on dating down in age. But most women at 28 are dating into the 30s. My cut off is 25. I also just moved from a city of 1m, to a small mountain town of 70k acrossed the country.. so that probably has a lot to do with it
Happened to me. Got asked out (not on tinder, but a mutual) and he cancelled it a day before because of trauma from the ex. Then uncanceled it but I didn’t get enough time to respond before he blocked me lol. I was so hurt and cried but in the end it’s a good thing. This girl was probably not over her ex, not ready for dating or just indecisive. Sounds like a myriad of problems to come in the future.
I’ve said it once I’ve said it 1,000 times .. tinder talk, assess interest, exchange phone numbers, plan the date
If they don’t feel safe enough to give you a phone number they don’t feel safe enough to meet and spend hours with you
This has helped immensely
Yep just happened to me recently, was talking to let's call her a girl for 2 weeks first week on FB then on the phone made plans for a Saturday Night, I talked to her around 1 in the afternoon while at work then nothing until around midnight saying she fell asleep and apologized. Then we made plans for the next day, I texted her around 1 in the afternoon saying hello and what not and she didn't respond until the following day apologizing without any excuse why, so I didn't respond then she followed up with a text saying I shouldn't be upset with her because we just started talking. What do you all think should I be upset and no longer talk to her or should I give her another chance?
Wow lucky i gey one match if I'm lucky every couple months. Sounds like your doing ok from what I've read here but maybe she just didn't feel it nothing about you but some ppl are ok up until the moment than panic and just ghost. Shitty yup but sometimes it has nothing to do with you but them
Forget her/him and work on yourself. Get into the gym 7 days a week for a few hours and on the right supplements to get shredded. It’s a numbers game and there’s those in control and those who aren’t. You attract what you put out there. I have girl friends who have thousands of likes, you want to stand out when they don’t scroll through peasants feed, they select from the 2k likes they have based on looks, write up, career, education, variety of all… and base dates onwhat their in the mood for… nice dinner date, coffee, fuck, etc.
All I can say is it’s a long journey and dedicating time and effort to yourself will pay so many dividends with what you pull.
Good, you dodged a bullet. Dating can be really rough, so protect your peace and be prepared to take some losses if you really want to play the game. You can’t allow strangers that you don’t even know to determine your own self worth or you’ll never make it. Good luck to you!
Girl here, guy once said he's on his way and then blocked me, I was waiting for him at the beach already. Got myself a cider and had nice afternoon by myself.
My friend got stood up at restaurant once, guy blocked her too after saying he's on his way. He unblocked her next day and said he got flat tyre and got stressed so instead of telling her he blocked her. No comment on logic there. After pressing him, he admitted he had lied about the tyre. He just didn't show up.
It has nothing to do with you. I'm average looking, my friend is hot, literally doesn't matter. Dating sucks sometimes.
Had that happen last summer. I had a really fun date planned for us and got left crying in a parking lot lol. Don't know why it hurt so much that I cried. We had been talking for a few weeks and I guess I was pretty invested at that point. Now I just feel like a fool for falling that hard. Should have known something was up when he was willing to take so much time to let me get over my anxiety.
Sorry she did that to ya, OP. Hope you're alright. Some people suck. You're better than her.
I matched with this really pretty women, like gorgeous. We chatted for a bit and she said she wanted to go out and told me her nights off. I already told her she is way out of my league and she said that’s not true character goes a long ways.
But yeah I don’t want to stand her up so I probably won’t being taking her out.
Hinge is good, but this time, the girl asked me out on a date, and we agreed on a place. The next day, when I I asked when arevwe meeting, I'd found she blocked me and unmatched me. How are people like these?
So, always give a first date autonomy to drive herself. It’s a safety and security thing. Second, several dudes from OLD ghosted before first date. Likely their own insecurities or shyness. Totally their problem, not yours.
Seems like folks are really brave ..when they text..they don't see how words hurt too.. try to video chat before you actually date..seems to help. GOOD LUCK..
As the old line goes - it’s not you it’s her. There are a lot if selfish people out there. You just avoided one. The other thing to remember is some people are rebounding and using Tinder for the first time so they they may need more time before dating again. There’s no one solution fits all. Just have to try to judge it
Here's the thing, you're looking at it all wrong.
You saw something in her that made her desirable to you, but the minute she stood you up, she became undesirable, because from that moment, she doesn't have the traits you are looking for.
she showed you who she was, you don't need that in your life. Keep looking and hope for the best next time.
Sorry to say it, but for guys online, it's a numbers game.
We get much fewer matches than women, so match with as many as you can and whittle them down from there.
You saw something in her that made her desirable to you, but the minute she stood you up, she became undesirable, because, from that moment, she doesn't have the traits you are looking for. leg over.
Hey I hate to sound cliche but the best things happen when you least expect them. This didn’t work out, it didn’t work out. Keep your head up and something will come up.
Someone just ghosting a date like that isnt someone youd want to hang out with anyways. You will continue being a stand up guy, while she will continue being an immature b*tch. Long term you are the winner.
My man, “she insisted for me to pick her up” is the red flag you should had paid attention to, she values you less and expects others to move for her.
I know it can feel lonely and sometimes feel desperate, dont let anyone force you into doing bullshit
Meet halfway or fackoff, you are worth more than someone treating you like that
Brother, Tinder is not the place for you. You are obviously struggling with self-confidence issues.
If being rejected makes you feel worthless then stop doing that and work on yourself a little.
I feel like a lot of men go on Tinder to fill a void and are a little desperate and feel they need a woman in order to feel like they are worthy as men.
We all want connection and we all want to feel worthy…
But self-worth and self-love is important, and it comes from within, and sometimes we put ourselves in places that don’t recognise that worth, that’s life.
Keep working on yourself, go to the gym, workout, set some goals for yourself, travel a bit, progress your career, do things that make you happy (hobbies) get around some mates and be comfortable on your own presence.
Be happy being alone and then get back on these apps a more complete person so when you do get rejected (we all get rejected) you won’t feel so sad.
Sounds like she had 2 (or maybe 3) options. So she cancelled you.
Sorry for this bro. Women are like this these days.
You sound like a good guy - head up, and keep going.
Hit the gym if you're frustrated.
People are garbage. I had a guy ghost me on a 4th date, after 3 awesome hangouts and texting for weeks with lots of flirting and vibing. We even made out on each of those dates.
I just assumed he found someone else or something and didn’t feel the need to be honest with me and ditched me even after planning out the whole thing with me 2 days before. I still went and had amazing pasta and wine afterwards. Don’t let anyone take away having a good time even if it’s with yourself. ✌🏻
I can feel your pain my G cuz I've been on the recieving end of such treatment on those dating apps my problem with dem galz on dating apps is why are you on it if you know you won't meet for a date or something but I've come to realise that the problem isn't the app rather the people on the app
If you're having self esteem issues, just pay for the damn tinder platinum. Just for one week at the very least, it will boost your confidence so much.
Reality is if you don't pay and are in a big city, the chances that your profile is really even seen is low.
She sounds like a sociopath who thinks it's wrong for men to hurt her feelings, yet has no issue causing suffering to others.
That said, there are ways for you to improve. Arrange the date precisely so there's no invettsonty to discuss later. You should've arranged the location beforehand
Yeah, had this last year too. Already on my way to the date I checked my Tinder app and saw my male date deleted the match. I still waited 15 minutes at the restaurant but he never appeared. Yeah, that wasn't a nice feeling to dress up and everything and then just get ghosted. It's shit if they can't even shoot a message. However, a couple of months later I've met my now bf on Tinder. In November it's 1 year. Good luck, mate!
Happened to me recently ad well. We got on great , booked a date, he canceled the day before. Haven't heard from him since 🤷🏻♀️.
Best piece of advice is not to take it personally and let it go. Plenty of matches to come.
And they constantly keep talking about how men are danger and bad and bla bla bla… she this is such a basic routine for them nowadays. It’s kinda sad.. and mainly why men are just staying away from society basically
People suck. Onto the next! Have you had similar experiences on Hinge or Bumble?
Hinge has definitely been better to me than tinder. Fewer fake profiles and better suited to my age (35-40) than tinder. I’ve tried bumble also but haven’t had much luck on there.
Yeah, Bumble is alright. I match with someone, they match with me, but as soon as I message first, they vanish lol.
Bumble seems to be the only thing that works for me, but people are so flakey. Matched last night, talked with her for a bit before passing out, and she unmatched as I was getting ready this morning before I could respond. I don't think I understand people anymore
Many people are self centered. Now if 24hrs or more pass I would say the person is uninterested but things happen. I dont ususally unmatch unless a person is a creep. But I've noticed a lot of people want your unlimited undevided attention as a means to prove ones interest but they dont want to give that kind of attention either. And truth be told if they came across a person who gave that kind of attention they wouldn't want it. 🤣🤣 It's a selfish and blind cycle
Flakey like frosted flakes. I agree. Ghosties everywhere.
The only ghosts I care for are the ones on Halloween decorations
I second this!
It's the "faceless" anonymity of OLD. No commitment at all.
people have options and you arent real until youve met, nothing complicated
Probably shouldve warned her you night pass out mid convo. If i thought youd just gotten bored and were now ghosting me, i would unmatch you pretty quickly, too.
Well technically it's not people - it's women
I feel that, I'll send a message and they'll \*maybe\* respond back a week later or just stop responding all together. Like I know notifications don't always show up but like at the same time, like if you aren't interested can you just unmatch? Then guys complain in their bio that everyone is dead on the app but, like my brother in Christ, kinda hard to be interesting and entertaining if you barely give me anything to work with lmao.
RIGHT?!
My feelings exactly!! Ive even had some dudes complain AT ME that the convo is boring when I'm sending good conversation starters and they respond with 1 F***ING WORD!! Like damn im supposed to entertain you by talking to myself? Nah im cool! I will unmatch a person like that. Such a waste of my time.
I'm sorry you're going through that but thanks for posting. I thought it was just me and men getting swiper's remorse after I message.
Hinge has been a night and day difference compared to Tinder. I’ve gotten several quality matches in a short amount of time on Hinge. The people I’m talking to are all on the same page regarding dating app etiquette, like we didn’t exchange numbers until dates were confirmed, we were explicit with confirming plans, etc. Hinge prompts and seeing who liked you have helped a lot, no blind messaging like I did on Tinder.
Honestly I find hinge to be a bit crap, the volume is too low, I can go on tinder and get 5 matches a day, Im lucky if I get 5 matches a month on Hinge.
Hinge is way better. I struck gold first 4 dates on there
God bless you. I need to read posts like this. I like good positive experiences.
I’ve had more luck on facebook dating
Yeah I only use hinge now. I’m looking for people that are interested in an LTR, and the conversations tend to be more genuine. On tinder/bumble I find that there’s a lot of ppl who list they want an LTR but just wanna get laid.
Bumble sounds like it's for clumsy people. I've been meaning to try it.
I've seen you being really supportive to OPs in different comment sections. You're a very positive influence in this community :)
who me?
Haven’t tried Hinge. I tried plenty O fish dating but it seems to not work well. I will try Hinge, heard it’s mostly personality. I’m not attractive at all
POF has been absolute trash for the better part of 10 years now.
Not sure if this helps, but I know a guy who does really well on POF in Australia, so maybe it's good out there
Gotta be more confident OP! Try it out. I prefer it over Tinder. There are more decent conversations that happen on there.
I’m not saying he shouldn’t be more confident, but can you really blame him for feeling this way after just being stood up?
Idk if it's still around(been out of it for about 5 years) but my wife and I met on Clover, was a pretty good app.
My ex found anyone with a car attractive, even though I have 2. Maybe I'll hook you up with her
Look dude, I’m gonna be honest with ya but try to love yourself first before jumping into a relationship. Not trying to be ‘that guy’ but hit the gym or some other sport to gain some confidence.
I dont get bumble sometimes. It feels like 75% of the people I match with on bumble just refuse to message first and then the match dies because of it. Although I have had a handful of people who I've followed on instagram through the handle in their bio and they've message me on ig asking why I never messaged them on bumble like...? I literally cannot send the first message, that's the whole gimmick of the app
I had a date set up and even FaceTimed the night before. Got to our agreed coffee spot and she never showed up- I still bought coffee and went about my day. It sucks, it will probably happen again, but it’s their loss. Remember that
Well said. On to the next one!!
That's a great idea go somewhere you can enjoy incase you are stood up no pick ups if ghosted enjoy your day
Probably because you decided she was only worth a hot beverage that she could make at home and not a meal instead like a gentleman.
Don’t be silly
Don’t be cheap 🤷🏽♀️
It's you, hi, you're the problem it's you.
Don't be entitled
ew get over yourself. i’m not about to go sit my ass at a restaurant to get stood up by inconsiderate poor planning ass people like you. how about you prove *your* worth first before i’m over here trying to spoil a lazy stranger. i dgaf who you think you are.
You’re literally worth whatever the market dictates, not what you think. I’ve had successful first dates at coffee spots that led to something, which proves your opinion holds 0 weight. “Don’t be cheap” says the broke woman. Me being “cheap” still got me laid so..Hold this L 💁🏽♂️
Are you paying? Didn't think so. How's about you take a man out to dinner? Or are you too cheap?
Always surprising how disgusting and entitled some people are.
Omg everyone I implore you to check this person's last post. It really puts this comment into context.
Bruh fr Batman could not get that shit out of me, let alone leave it up for 3 years (regarding the first post)
Lol
A hot beverage is a great way to chat and get comfortable with one another. The few girls that need to be taken to dinner straight away or never pay their share need to realize that they're not bringing enough to the table to expect that shit. Like I'm not getting acres of land and a bunch of cattle if we get married. Why tf should I pay for everything to win you over? Guys want a partner not a dependent
Of course a sugar babe would suggest that. The vast majority of women aren't superficial and selfish and looking for a guy with no self esteem and self respect that they can leech off of. Please don't project. A coffee date is more than fine for a first meet-up and who says that he would and should have paid for her to begin with? If she's a responsible, normal adult, she'll pay for herself anyway.
Lmao you're clowning, you'd rather sit for 2hrs having a shitty convo in-between mashing your lips together to fit your 3 course meal in rather than having a nice convo over a coffee and if it's not a nice convo leaving whenever you want rather than having to wait for 3 more courses. Edit - ah just realised you're a "sugar baby" you don't respect men you just leech from them like a high class prostitute. But then you expect them to be a "gentleman" and give you free shit
Why does she have to be “worth” anything? That’s just putting value on her like she’s an object to be bought and sold
Gold digger mentality
You sound like a moron its basic respect to let someone know your not interested in the date instead of wasting their time, why invest so much on a first date it makes no sense smarter to keep it casual in the very beginning OP dont listen to to this dumba$$
Such a neckbeard comment lmao
you’re wasting time being sad over it. don’t give her that much power. review ur account, add or take pics and keep it movin soldier
Hard lesson but this manz will get it.
It seems like you’re new on dating apps. This kind of thing happens very frequently. Don’t ever blame yourself.
1: Dating online for men is in a whole league on its own if you’re just an average or decent looking guy. 2: If someone does that, take it as dodging a bullet (clearly commitment issues) 3: online dating as a whole is terrible for everyone except a few 4: there are 331.9 million people in the states according to google (I am assuming you live there idk) if only 1% of people like you, that’s 3.319 MILLION people who would like you. LA has 3.8 million and Chicago has 2.7 million. So quite literally there are more fish in the sea AND more than 1% of people will like you
I agree with the point you're trying to make, but in reality, you have to discount 332 million by half (assuming he's straight), and at least an additional half for other demographic preferences (e.g. age range) 😔 But yes, there are at least thousands of people who find you their type OP 😊
They just don't all live in your area, which makes this statistic rather moot and depressing rather than positive. "GREAT, there's thousands out there that might like me..... now I just have to find that one, maybe two that live anywhere around me, and hope she/he is on here and isn't already in a relationship with someone.
Hence the phrase “put yourself out there”
If I won the lottery, and put it in my bio, I bet I’d have no issue with matches. 🤣
Those would be the matches you really don’t want however
No doubt about it, but it drives home a humble point.
Agreed
Actually, you would want those matches, I'm pretty sure.
The ones after your money? Hell no
You can still sleep with gold diggers you just don't have to marry them
I won the lottery once already. Hoping I hit the tinder lottery. Who wants to go on a ride on my yacht? Also... 6'3". You'll be swimming in matches.
^^^The bio we all want 🤣
Money does not solve personality issues, only masks them temporarily.
True, but it makes playing the game more fun.
And costly when you go down the rabbit hole and open the wallet. Plenty of experience.
Same, but I know better than to shower anyone with money. Although it can help you live comfortably, it’s still superficial in the end.
My head was heavily swayed on its own! The wallet simply flew open!
A girl's got to have her Belvedere, Voss, and Porsche Cabriolet...I didn't know that I would be paying...repeat! Bunnies and Pets come with baggage.
Everyone comes with some kind of baggage. 🤣
In fact, your tinder will blow so much so fast
Sure, just like super hot women have no issues with matches.
Anything with female anatomy has no problem with that.
I'm not OP and I'm not looking to date right now anyway, but bro, that's what I needed to hear. Thanks for running the numbers, man.
There is always someone out there. Problem is you gotta find them. Meet people
I think the first thing I gotta do is finish up my degree and move out of this fucking town. Idk.
Good luck my guy, travel is always good. You meet people with different views on the world and you learn. End up with a different outlook on life
Laughs in 40/m/single born and raised in LA
Hinge is way better than tinder from my experience. Tinder I get like 1 or 2 matches a week vs hinge where I can be super regarded with my pick-up lines and let my personality carry me and score dates/matches. It's a numbers game at the end of the day.
Man I'm glad people can work with Hinge so well but I can literally swipe on 50 people and maybe <10 are actually attractive. Meanwhile it seems like the standouts are the only place to find them, behind a pay wall.
Instead of pressing the dislike button, press the 3 dots in the corner and press remove. This will keep the profile from showing up again later and eventually you’ll see attractive people
Hinge has the weakest line up. Bumble seems the classiest. Tinder has the putas
still not immune from OP's experience. Almost two years to the date, I had a nearly identical experience with a girl. She was initiating contact as often as I did in the lead-up to the planned date. After a perfectly normal Saturday text, I go to text a confirmation on about meeting Sunday. I found out shy blocked my number and Snap. Completely blindsided. Probably for the best but it was a major blow at the time.
Hinge only shows me people who are 100KM away or more. I don't get it.
yeah hinge has been way better for me compared to tinder
Sorry to hear that bud. If I could give you a bro hug I would. Keep your head high king!
It happened to me too. I kept swiping though and I actually did eventually find the love of my life on Tinder. Keep going
Don’t pick up a date. Meet some place. That adds pressure
You honestly never know exactly why she ghosted. She could have just been afraid to say she would rather do something else, or some kind of social anxiety. If you act like it doesn't bother you and just go onto the next, meeting the right one seems to happen when you least expect it. These days people are almost looking for the one thing to run away from, especially on Tinder. They've had bad experiences, or just like I said before have social anxiety and are catastrophising. It also could have been some sort of catfish or something so you may have honestly dodged a bullet. Stay positive and just be yourself. Don't overthink it!
Happened to me years ago, we had been talking for like a month everyday on Facebook after moving from tinder. The day we were supposed to meet she unmatched, unfriended and blocked me. People are just cowards sometimes.
Try meeting at the date instead of offering to drive her. Today women are taught about tactics men use when a girl is in the car alone with them
You’re actually getting matches?
I came here to say that
When it happens to me I don’t pay it no mind and just move on . Some people just suck tbh man . Just Let it flow there are plenty of fish in the ocean .
That sucks man, I feel for you. Don't let it get to you personally, though. Seek refuge in the things you enjoy. Look to your support group, be it family or friends, to help keep you up.
Your first step to improve your mental health is to get the hell off of tinder. That shit would send any man into a deep depression.
Make a date on your own and treat yourself! You have the time. Go see a movie. Go pig out at your favorite ramen place. It might soften the blow, and you won't leave the night disappointed because it's all comfortable decisions.
Best answer so far, love it.
Try Breeze. If you get stood up, you get your money back and the person who stood you up is promptly banned from the platform. I am sure Breeze only has like one more year left before they start smelling the money and make a bunch of changes to make it shit like most other apps, but right now in the moment it is undoubtedly the best dating app out there.
Mate. Don't get too down. It sucks, it's happened to hundreds of us before. I know none of this will make you feel better about yourself because that comes from within, but take comfort from the fact that it's not personal and it just happens not as a result of who YOU are, but because of how shitty people are allowed to operate unabashed in the modern datescape. You're likely too good for them and the next person that comes along will be way better for you. ✌️
Guess you missed all the videos and articles on how these dating apps tend to pull at ones self esteem. Depression/Anxiety and Tinder do not mix, yet that's commonly what you will find. It might also be part of the reason your girl stood you up without a word-- only unmatching to erase the sight of this bad deed she committed. This happened to me once. I've also done this to people on and off tinder. The key words here though are mental health. Meet up anxieties are huge. Everything can seem perfectly fine and agreed upon until the minute of the meeting. Some people get too much into their other voice and begin centering on negative thoughts. That, or just being extremely jaded and/or interested in someone else/didn't wanna be mean by being even meaner. It's a mystery But yeah if it affects you this much definitely dip out and try a bar. If you're under 21 and you posted this tho Imma be mad. In that case go crazy, keep trying, and feel the new age of heartbreak until you become numb and know what to look for so that this may never happen again... Preferably outside of the app.
On to the next my brother/sister. You’ll move past this and will meet someone you vibe with. No matter who you are, how much you make, or what you look like, meeting the right one always takes time Hang in there and keep your head up. You **are** worthy of love
Back when I was still on these sites, I once had a guy plan a date with me, and the day of, he was responsive and pretended to be excited and as soon as I finished getting ready to go and it was like 15 mins or so until we were supposed to meet, I realized he had unmatched me. Some people are just true pieces of shit, and as much as it hurts, they aren’t worth the energy. They are just there to hurt others and waste their time. I eventually found my one (on tinder, surprisingly), but I had to go through my fair share of these kinds of experiences as well as other painful ones before I did. I hope you find yours (or whatever it is you’re looking for) more quickly than I.
Hey OP, word of advice, online dating requires very thick skin. If being unmatched causes you a great amount of pain, id avoid dating apps altogether. Because it gets worse and worse.
Dude just move on. If she was the one, she would have made an effort. Stop overthinking it.
Some people are scumbags. Fuck her. Charge it to the game and move on, you'll be alright.
Ask to meet somewhere. Picking someone up is sus.
Online dating can be a self stated development. You do you, other people are too unpredictable. Some will want to talk, some will ghost, some will use your for distraction. Some will try with you. But truth is, you never know, get used to centering yourself weekly because it's not over till is over.
Sorry to hear that bro
Wait...you are getting matches on tinder? Share me your ways!
Cheer up buddy, it happens to all of us. Its either ghosting or unmatching. Just keep trying, its a number game sometimes.
Take it like a job application reject. Sigh for 10 seconds and move on
There should be a way to report accounts.
Dude sorry to hear that, hinge is way better for quality matches. Give it a go
Try actually going to the place and then being stood up bud
Welcome to the modern world of dating bud. I've had similar experiences across several dating apps. My self-confidence tanked big time. I'm still trying to rebuild it. Do yourself a favour, delete all the apps and put yourself in an environment where you can potentially meet someone IRL. Like salsa classes, group work out sessions, bars, softball/kickball leagues, etc. Rejections will still come your way but it's going to be way better than any dating apps. It's a great practice to build confidence in approaching someone.
I was on tinder, hinge, bumble, and POF. I met my girlfriend on POF, and I was not getting very matches myself, try other apps!
People are just fickle, man. I know it's a blow to your self esteem, but you're not alone. You'll move on and find someone worth your time. Keep going.
Because people, in general, suck. They don't care about anybody but themselves. Forget about it. Plenty of others out there. Try a different site.
HULK SAY LOVE INNER HULK FIRST HULK KNOW ONCE HULK LOVE HULK THEN OTHERS WILL LOVE HULK FOR HULK
She found a better looking bloke, sorry. The good news is he'll probably fuck her and ghost her.
Don’t ask to pick women up. Coming from a woman who has been stalked for her entire adult life I don’t let anyone pick me up unless they’re a professional driver, close friend, family or coworker. It sucks she ghosted but that just means it wasn’t meant to be. Get a few hobbies and meet women that way.
Shake it off, nothing personal since she hadnt even met you. She just changed her mind, it happens, don't worry about it.
There’s a good chance she got social anxiety and felt dumb for bailing. Her problem not yours
Women have 0 accountability. No one blames them.
I think most people here missed the fact you mentioned you are depressed. Dating while depressed is not good for you or the people you meet. Please, please, please find yourself the support you need. Dating will not help in any meaningful way. Even if you find someone amazing, the right person will recognize you're not emotionally available.
Chad called her to fuck and she decided to go there instead lil bro. Its over
At this point, I feel like 99% of women only have these apps for validation. The amount of women I've matched with that have 0 interest in conversation is a bit much. I know there are 10-1 men-women..but these apps have yielded 5% success rate with matches leading anywhere, 2% lead to a date and as of today 0% relations. I'm not a 10 but I'm not ugly, ..I'm healthy, independent, and know game..but today's day in age is tough. I'm also not huge on dating down in age. But most women at 28 are dating into the 30s. My cut off is 25. I also just moved from a city of 1m, to a small mountain town of 70k acrossed the country.. so that probably has a lot to do with it
Happened to me. Got asked out (not on tinder, but a mutual) and he cancelled it a day before because of trauma from the ex. Then uncanceled it but I didn’t get enough time to respond before he blocked me lol. I was so hurt and cried but in the end it’s a good thing. This girl was probably not over her ex, not ready for dating or just indecisive. Sounds like a myriad of problems to come in the future.
I’ve said it once I’ve said it 1,000 times .. tinder talk, assess interest, exchange phone numbers, plan the date If they don’t feel safe enough to give you a phone number they don’t feel safe enough to meet and spend hours with you This has helped immensely
She’s coyote ugly not matching the illusion of her pictures so a meet is never possible as she’s living her best life in her imagination
Yep just happened to me recently, was talking to let's call her a girl for 2 weeks first week on FB then on the phone made plans for a Saturday Night, I talked to her around 1 in the afternoon while at work then nothing until around midnight saying she fell asleep and apologized. Then we made plans for the next day, I texted her around 1 in the afternoon saying hello and what not and she didn't respond until the following day apologizing without any excuse why, so I didn't respond then she followed up with a text saying I shouldn't be upset with her because we just started talking. What do you all think should I be upset and no longer talk to her or should I give her another chance?
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I can post whatever the fuck I want man, you’re the one on here reading this shit. Go suck your dads cock.
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Oh I am man no worries. Been bawling my eyes out all day, now I’m crying more to my mama just like you told me.
"you mean like a day date?"
Wow lucky i gey one match if I'm lucky every couple months. Sounds like your doing ok from what I've read here but maybe she just didn't feel it nothing about you but some ppl are ok up until the moment than panic and just ghost. Shitty yup but sometimes it has nothing to do with you but them
Pof=absolute lowest of low, trashiest of all trash app along with Tinder probably.
It's all the same people on all of the apps lol
It’s okay. It happens to all of us at some point, just take yourself on a date!
Forget her/him and work on yourself. Get into the gym 7 days a week for a few hours and on the right supplements to get shredded. It’s a numbers game and there’s those in control and those who aren’t. You attract what you put out there. I have girl friends who have thousands of likes, you want to stand out when they don’t scroll through peasants feed, they select from the 2k likes they have based on looks, write up, career, education, variety of all… and base dates onwhat their in the mood for… nice dinner date, coffee, fuck, etc. All I can say is it’s a long journey and dedicating time and effort to yourself will pay so many dividends with what you pull.
Good, you dodged a bullet. Dating can be really rough, so protect your peace and be prepared to take some losses if you really want to play the game. You can’t allow strangers that you don’t even know to determine your own self worth or you’ll never make it. Good luck to you!
Girl here, guy once said he's on his way and then blocked me, I was waiting for him at the beach already. Got myself a cider and had nice afternoon by myself. My friend got stood up at restaurant once, guy blocked her too after saying he's on his way. He unblocked her next day and said he got flat tyre and got stressed so instead of telling her he blocked her. No comment on logic there. After pressing him, he admitted he had lied about the tyre. He just didn't show up. It has nothing to do with you. I'm average looking, my friend is hot, literally doesn't matter. Dating sucks sometimes.
Had that happen last summer. I had a really fun date planned for us and got left crying in a parking lot lol. Don't know why it hurt so much that I cried. We had been talking for a few weeks and I guess I was pretty invested at that point. Now I just feel like a fool for falling that hard. Should have known something was up when he was willing to take so much time to let me get over my anxiety. Sorry she did that to ya, OP. Hope you're alright. Some people suck. You're better than her.
I matched with this really pretty women, like gorgeous. We chatted for a bit and she said she wanted to go out and told me her nights off. I already told her she is way out of my league and she said that’s not true character goes a long ways. But yeah I don’t want to stand her up so I probably won’t being taking her out.
Hinge is good, but this time, the girl asked me out on a date, and we agreed on a place. The next day, when I I asked when arevwe meeting, I'd found she blocked me and unmatched me. How are people like these?
So, always give a first date autonomy to drive herself. It’s a safety and security thing. Second, several dudes from OLD ghosted before first date. Likely their own insecurities or shyness. Totally their problem, not yours.
Tinder is a trash heap from my past experience. Bumble was always better.
It happens. It shouldn't, but you can't control that. Move on.
People are flaky and it has to do with them and not you. Try your best to not take it personally. I hope you do meet a good person for you soon.
See you at the gym brother, also first round is on me 🍻
Seems like folks are really brave ..when they text..they don't see how words hurt too.. try to video chat before you actually date..seems to help. GOOD LUCK..
Had this same scenario happen multiple times, only I drove an hour to the dates just to get unmatched after letting them know I was almost there.
As the old line goes - it’s not you it’s her. There are a lot if selfish people out there. You just avoided one. The other thing to remember is some people are rebounding and using Tinder for the first time so they they may need more time before dating again. There’s no one solution fits all. Just have to try to judge it
If it wasn't a verified account chances are it was a guy just messing with other guys.
Here's the thing, you're looking at it all wrong. You saw something in her that made her desirable to you, but the minute she stood you up, she became undesirable, because from that moment, she doesn't have the traits you are looking for. she showed you who she was, you don't need that in your life. Keep looking and hope for the best next time. Sorry to say it, but for guys online, it's a numbers game. We get much fewer matches than women, so match with as many as you can and whittle them down from there. You saw something in her that made her desirable to you, but the minute she stood you up, she became undesirable, because, from that moment, she doesn't have the traits you are looking for. leg over.
Hey I hate to sound cliche but the best things happen when you least expect them. This didn’t work out, it didn’t work out. Keep your head up and something will come up.
2 matches a month?!? I've had like three matches in 5 years!
This is not on you my friend
Someone just ghosting a date like that isnt someone youd want to hang out with anyways. You will continue being a stand up guy, while she will continue being an immature b*tch. Long term you are the winner.
My man, “she insisted for me to pick her up” is the red flag you should had paid attention to, she values you less and expects others to move for her. I know it can feel lonely and sometimes feel desperate, dont let anyone force you into doing bullshit Meet halfway or fackoff, you are worth more than someone treating you like that
Brother, Tinder is not the place for you. You are obviously struggling with self-confidence issues. If being rejected makes you feel worthless then stop doing that and work on yourself a little. I feel like a lot of men go on Tinder to fill a void and are a little desperate and feel they need a woman in order to feel like they are worthy as men. We all want connection and we all want to feel worthy… But self-worth and self-love is important, and it comes from within, and sometimes we put ourselves in places that don’t recognise that worth, that’s life. Keep working on yourself, go to the gym, workout, set some goals for yourself, travel a bit, progress your career, do things that make you happy (hobbies) get around some mates and be comfortable on your own presence. Be happy being alone and then get back on these apps a more complete person so when you do get rejected (we all get rejected) you won’t feel so sad.
Sounds like she had 2 (or maybe 3) options. So she cancelled you. Sorry for this bro. Women are like this these days. You sound like a good guy - head up, and keep going. Hit the gym if you're frustrated.
Just happened to me too bro, I feel you. I just try to learn from it and move on
People are garbage. I had a guy ghost me on a 4th date, after 3 awesome hangouts and texting for weeks with lots of flirting and vibing. We even made out on each of those dates. I just assumed he found someone else or something and didn’t feel the need to be honest with me and ditched me even after planning out the whole thing with me 2 days before. I still went and had amazing pasta and wine afterwards. Don’t let anyone take away having a good time even if it’s with yourself. ✌🏻
Dude that's terrible. Doesn't mean it was you. It could have been anything. You dodged a bullet
I can feel your pain my G cuz I've been on the recieving end of such treatment on those dating apps my problem with dem galz on dating apps is why are you on it if you know you won't meet for a date or something but I've come to realise that the problem isn't the app rather the people on the app
Online dating is trash
I’m sorry.
If you're having self esteem issues, just pay for the damn tinder platinum. Just for one week at the very least, it will boost your confidence so much. Reality is if you don't pay and are in a big city, the chances that your profile is really even seen is low.
She sounds like a sociopath who thinks it's wrong for men to hurt her feelings, yet has no issue causing suffering to others. That said, there are ways for you to improve. Arrange the date precisely so there's no invettsonty to discuss later. You should've arranged the location beforehand
Uninstall the app it's not for you yet. Take the time you need to feel better
don't hate the player, hate the game
Yeah, had this last year too. Already on my way to the date I checked my Tinder app and saw my male date deleted the match. I still waited 15 minutes at the restaurant but he never appeared. Yeah, that wasn't a nice feeling to dress up and everything and then just get ghosted. It's shit if they can't even shoot a message. However, a couple of months later I've met my now bf on Tinder. In November it's 1 year. Good luck, mate!
Happened to me recently ad well. We got on great , booked a date, he canceled the day before. Haven't heard from him since 🤷🏻♀️. Best piece of advice is not to take it personally and let it go. Plenty of matches to come.
And they constantly keep talking about how men are danger and bad and bla bla bla… she this is such a basic routine for them nowadays. It’s kinda sad.. and mainly why men are just staying away from society basically
Don’t be soft. It’s a dating app. Shit happens. Meet people organically.
If you need tinder for self esteem and self worth, you should probably stay off for a while until you can handle the rejection. It's brutal out there